Parenting Different: How to raise your neurodivergent kids to be their authentic, awesome selves

by Sarah Hayden

Everything you've ever wanted to know about parenting (and celebrating!) your neurodivergent child from parenting expert, social worker and mother of five Sarah Hayden.

'This is the book l wish l'd had when my daughter Chloé was diagnosed autistic. The book l wish l'd had when l was parenting any of my children as they faced challenges or didn't fit the "norm". I've written it for every parent who wants to encourage and affirm their children for who they are, not who they're meant to be.' – Sarah Hayden

Parenting can be hard. Parenting a neurodivergent child in a neurotypical world can be even harder. But know you are not alone – all the reassurance, guidance and support you need is right here. Sarah Hayden, social worker, mother and neurodivergent human herself, helps you unlearn everything you thought you needed to know about parenting neurodivergent kids. Covering diagnosis, family life, siblings, schooling, puberty, therapy, food, peer relationships and so much more, Sarah provides new ideas and practical tools on how to support your child to be their best and most authentic self. Equipped with both professional expertise and hard-earned learnings from her own parenting journey, she also shares the story of her daughter Chloé Hayden's autism and ADHD diagnoses and how that transformed her expectations and parenting. There are insights from Chloé herself, Q&As addressing the questions Sarah is most commonly asked by parents and Sarah's own story of adult diagnosis.

With warmth, humour and just a little bit of sparkle, Parenting Different shows you how to help your neurodivergent child not just survive but thrive in a neurotypical world.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

318 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 4, 2025

Reviews

[A Bookworm Crafts · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this book, Sarah Hayden lays out a blueprint for parents of neurodivergent children. With topical chapters such as Diagnosis, School, Adolescence and Adulthood, she presents all the information parents need to know to best support their child. This is accompanied by examples from her life as a parent of a neurodivergent child and from her work as a qualified social worker and equine-assisted psychotherapist.

A recommended read for all parents of neurodivergent children.

Thank you to Murdoch Books and Randomthingstours for providing me with a physical copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

[Fatguyreading · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Parenting Different, Sarah Hayden outlines parenting strategies for those with neurodivergent children. Examples of topics covered are Diagnosis, family life, mental wellbeing and she even covers adult life as a neurodivergent person.

Being a parent of a neurodivergent child, Sarah also shares her personal experiences and journey through parenting, and also through her work as a professional social worker.

Also included are questions and answers in which different scenarios/ questions are set out, with answers to how to handle each situation.

A must read for any parent/ carer with neurodivergent child, or indeed anyone who wants to learn about the subject.

5 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 's from me.

[Briar Standing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a validating, insightful account based on lived experience. It offered insight from a parental perspective while also peppering in the child’s (now a young adult) reflective point of view. I would recommend this to anyone wanting to understand how to support a neurodivergent person better (it’s not just for parents).

[Nadine-Sue Sargent · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sarah shares her journey through parenting and professional experience of neurodiversity. People are unique and Dr Shore's saying ' if you've met one person with autism, you've met ONE person with autism' certainly rings true. However, these case study type books help offer guidance and in some cases reassurance for people going through similar situations. They also show that people are not alone in their journey through life and there's a chance to compare journeys which I always find interesting.

Sarah's mention of respectful, empowering and accurate language to use reminds people of the changes that the community has seen over the years recognising that neurodivergence is a normal difference in the way in which some of our brains are 'wired' rather than there being something wrong with us.

I thought the parenting 'dos' were interesting and made sense to me, although I didn't agree with the first as me and my son's would resent someone for being inauthentic when talking of interests so we can't fake interest. We don't have the ability to pretend and my face would give me away. However, I've always encouraged their interests and they've always known it's ok to like different things 😊

The Q&As in the chapters are also interesting as it gives a number of different scenarios/questions that you might have and Sarah's answers to how things might look or how you might manage.

I find books like this more valid and I'm more likely to pay attention due to the author's own experience of neurodiversity. As a neurodiverse adult, parent and professional I believe it's important to advocate fiercely. We're believed to have difficulty in communicating and there are many ways in which we struggle in this area. However, there are also many ways we can give a voice to our community to support understanding.

[Becca Scammell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sarah's brilliantly crafted book was born from her own experiences as a mum to Chloe, who was diagnosed with autism at the age of 12. As a registered social worker who had worked with autistic families for over a decade and her own experiences as a late diagnosed ADHDer.

Staying that she wanted the book to one that she had been given early on in their journey. A journey that led to her and her partner 'to discover ways or parenting that we were never taught growing up in a society that runs on systems designed for neurotypical brains.' With the hope that the book 'answers burning questions , and brings us one step closer to creating a world where everyone feels accepted and heard.'

Something that having read the book. I can safely say that she has and will continue to do going forward with the inclusion of insights from Chloe and other neurosparkly people and Q&A sections that highlight some of the most common questions parents ask her. Alongside kindness, empathy, practical advice, strategies, non judgement, encouragement, compassion, and, more importantly, honesty and humour. ( I absolutely love her term, neurosparkly) Sarah has created a really important, relatable, and inspiring resource for neurodivergent parents, families, loved ones, carers, educators, legislators, and health professionals the world over. Helping to navigate the minefield of what it is to parent, love, and care for neurosparkly people.

It's most definitely one of my bibles moving forward, and I'll share it with anyone and everyone who may be on the same journey as myself and my daughters.

Thank you, Sarah. ❤️

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredible book!

As soon as I saw this book, I knew I had to read it and to learn from another's experience and boy, I wasn't disappointed.

The book focuses on how parenting a child who is neurodivergent is very different to that of a who is neuro-typical.

I absolutely loved learning about Sarah's experiences and her journey with her autistic daughter Chloe. It made for a fantastic read and really helped to offer perspective.

As a mum about to start the very path that Sarah and Chloe have already treaded upon, this book offered an honest and raw insight into the various stages in such a brilliant way!

I loved how Sarah formatted the book, choosing to split it up into sections to help navigate this sometimes complex process of diagnoses and beyond.

I specifically enjoyed the section that talked about the nervous system, the diagnosis process, and the thwn of course home/school life as these sections are most relevant to me at the moment.

Sarah, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us, and I, for one, will be keeping this book safe.... I plan to do a second read so I can annotate and tab this time round!

A fantastic book!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a diagnosed ADHD son and a daughter who has self-diagnosed herself with autism, so I was hoping I might get some insight in how to be a better parent to them from this book. But I didn't really. Other than the key message that we shouldn't be trying to change our ND kids into something that they aren't, the book was really around how to manage kids that get overwhelmed/overstimulated, don't cope with change and aren't coping at school. These aren't issues I have with either of my kids (thankfully!), so I almost got a bit bored. There was also a lot about making sure you find neuro-affirming specialists and there was a comment at the end "now you know how to find neuro-affirming specialists" and I felt like screaming "No, I don't!". My experiences, and my friends' experiences, have been that there's such a waiting list for specialists that you see who you can get into and, if you don't like them, you go back on a waiting list to try someone else. I know the author can't list specific specialists, but "keep trying until you find one" is hardly a roadmap for success.

Maybe if my children were different, I would have loved this. Instead, I was a little underwhelmed.

[Naturalbri (Bri Wignall) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had this book years ago, as we started to notice that, like ourselves, our children are also neurodivergent. We have beentrying to get a diagnosis through as early as possible, as we are both teachers and know just how much it can help kids to be able to have their help needed or plans on place at school, before trying to 'fit in' becomes top difficult and has any negative effects on them. It does become such a struggle though, with funding and timings, etc and this book really does a wonderful, as it walks through diagnosis as well as ways to help your child. It also looks at things you can do as a parent, to make your parenting better for their style of thinking and so you are less stressed trying to communicate in a way that does not cause them any triggers or stressors.
I really liked the layout and the writing style of the author. I found it very easy to connect with, making it easy to read.

[Aubrey Zufelt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book, so much good information explained in the best way. My child was diagnosed one year ago and it was overwhelming. I wish I had this book then. The only reason I gave 4 stars was because there is a section where she takes a stance against ABA, and I get it, it gets a bad rep. But the key is finding the right ABA and the right BCBA. Our BCBA is incredible and has become like a family member to us. Our girl loves going to ABA and I know she is in good hands, I vetted a lot of places before choosing the right place, so don't be scared off by some naysayers, our girl is finally thriving! Not because she's masking but because she has learned valuable skills and communication.

[Tracey Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has become a lifeline since I received it, I can't help but sing its praises to anyone and everyone especially to mine and my sons support workers while we are going through this new journey.

In this book, the author has given the tools within the chapters to help through subjects like diagnosis and how to support your child throughout. what really made this book stand out was the personal touches of her own experiences with being a parent of a neurodivergent child and from her work as a social worker and therapist.

I highly recommended and helpful read.

[Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rather thin and basic, but it's very much aimed at the parent who's just had an unexpected and unknown diagnosis floated and might now be hyperventilating, and I'm really glad there's a book - an Aussie-based one, no less - for that situation. In that mode, it's very supportive and reassuring, emphasising communication, honesty, being present. There are lots of handy little tips and things to try, and a lot of Australian resources to provide assistance.

[Sonja Charters · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a Mum of a neurodivergent child (well, now just into adulthood), I absolutely loved this book and so wish that I'd had something like it when my son was much younger.

 

This book has so much advise and is packed with helpful tips to help you understand and navigate life together with your ND child - all through from diagnosis to adulthood.

 

There are so many different topics covered and even though I'm now coming out the other end of my son's childhood - it was great to see that some of the things we'd done, were mentioned - and other tips, we could maybe pick up and implement still as we head forward on our journey.

 

I love that this is written from an experienced mum - both having her own ND child, but also being a qualified social worker too - which means that there's a wealth of actual personal experience being pulled in - rather than other books that are purely based on scientific methods.

 

The writing style was nice and easy to read - not feeling judgemental, but rather like chatting over a coffee with friends.

With lots of anecdotes dotted throughout, this really was an enjoyable read.

 

I did read this front to back in a couple of sittings, but I am definitely going to also be keeping it around for future reference and advice whenever things crop up and I'm feeling in need of a boost!

 

Great book and definitely one I'll be recommended to others too!