To keep things general: this one just wasn’t for me. The overall concept and setting was intriguing, but the execution didn’t hit the mark. I struggled to stay interested from the start, which is really hard for a longer book, and it got a bit far fetched in the end. Most disappointing was the setting itself. Given the cover and descriptions, I was hoping for something creepy and gothic, but it was just too “LA Chic.” Don’t you look at that cover and get excited for something spine-tingly?? That part I’ll take the blame for - I shouldn’t have assumed. Despite that, the book still didn’t give me much. I liked the short chapters, as it made it easy to feel like I could keep going, but the overall plot never gave me a tug. Never the, “I have to know what happens next!!” The only way I got through this was the short chapters and “Ugh, I guess I can do one more because they’re only a couple pages," feeling.
Getting more specific (POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD): the “big killer reveal” was just blah. Maybe I read too many thrillers, but this wasn’t twisty or very shocking, it tried to be, but again, execution didn’t hit the mark.
Things that really annoyed me (AGAIN, SPOILERS):
-The “Fedora Man” and “Queen of Hearts” plot seemed like a throw-away story line in the end. We spend what feels like 75% of the book tapping into Meg’s traumatic past with these characters, and Fedora Man just waltzes in, talks to Meg and explains her confusing history in a 5 min conversation, then leaves. It was the quickest “resolution” and we just move right along like we didn’t spend the entire book fixated on this plot!
-A similar annoyance - The clinic was under some sort of lockdown. Fedora Man even says he couldn’t get in right away, waits in his car, then comes in when possible. He talks to Meg, barely questions her on why she’s there, barely questions what lockdown is all about (I think he may have ask if she wanted a ride, but doesn’t push the subject much), then just leaves like it’s no big deal…. MEANWHILE, someone has alerted the police of a murder and the cops state they can’t come until the morning because of the weather. Fedora Man = "Imma head home, no problemo," but cops investigating multiple murders with a killer on the loose = "nah, we’ll wait this one out a bit." Absurd.
-Unethical things probably happen all the time in these types of clinics, but there are also mandates/rules for clinic facilities and the security of medication and more staff seems like a big important thing. Meg just comes in with drugs and a phone and is barely searched? No staff/security with locked medication and drugs, even despite a recent patient break in and overdose? Where is the staff?? We have an owner, a doctor, an office manager, and some offhand mention of nurses that do absolutely nothing outside of being henchmen for the boss… we’re just letting detoxing patients who are quite volatile just roam around and interact with each other seemingly unsupervised?
-Plot seemed all over the place and we kept weaving new things in. First, Meg’s past was the main plot, discovering her sister’s killer by navigating her history. Then we add in blowfish treatments and the black market (okay weird, but fine). Next, right near the end, we add in a sociopath/mental health diagnoses component out of the blue. Plot points were so ridiculous it took away my interest.
-The characters weren’t well developed. Everyone including the main narrators Cara/Meg had similar voices. While they had different backstories and physical characteristics, their personalities and interactions were so similar it was hard to differentiate. Dex and Tom were just two interchangeable men with anger problems literally fooling around with everyone, and Jade and Sierra quite frankly were also a similar blur, just one had an English accent…
-You have to suspend reality. An officer bringing baby with to investigate a murder? The cops being so persistent on upholding the law but then shrugging off ethics in the very end? Our main character who proves to follow every rule and question every shady situation, then throws all morals out the window in a months time?
Those are only a few issues, but it took some effort to get through the unbelievable aspects.
I hate to rate this book so low, especially as I appreciated the look into rehab, the minds of addicts, and how difficult recovery can be. I also commend the author for writing her first novel sober and pulling from her life and rehab experience. That being said, there is a lot of addiction themes and a later focus on mental health diagnoses. It felt very personal and maybe I would have responded differently if I had any connection to the topic.
This is my honest review based on an ARC provided by NetGalley and SOURCEBOOKS Landmark.