This short memoir for me was a wonderful adventure in flying and parallel inward journey by the author. That puts this book on an honored shelf with Mathiessen’s “The Snow Leopard”. St. Expery’s experiences in the 20’s with the French airmail service to North Africa and South America had comparable mind altering impacts and serious humbling in the face of nature’s powers. But instead of a serious quest and a single journey, we get a more open-ended set of stories bound to his flying career and pathways of development for the author’s core values and sources of hope for the human race.
I delayed writing this review for half a year since reading it. It is the kind of delicious book where you want to mark passages on almost every page, so it was hard to pin down the real take-home messages worth sharing. With some perspective now, I can boil my pleasures down. It makes you feel connected to the universe. And part of a human community also struggling to comprehend and come to terms with its mysteries and epiphanies, treacheries and cruel destructions.
The mysteries that flying opens his mind to come immediately with its ticket to a leap into different perspectives. How small all our human constructions appear from the air. How quickly you can be in a different world among the clouds get lost among dangerous mountains, vast deserts, or the endless sea. We get to share in the joys and fears of his first flights. The experience of unboundedness is balanced by strange connections with the plane, the technological wonder his life depends on. He is grounded as well with the camaraderie of his team, including the mechanic and radio man he usually shared his flights with and the fellow pilots he bonded with between flights. These connections rise to special prominence when he or others get in storms, fall out of radio communications, or get stranded after being forced into an emergency landing after equipment failure or fuel shortage.
Here is a sample passage that contrasts the mild disorientations of a routine flight with the more potent impact of others:
So the crew fly on with no thought that they are in motion. Light night over the sea, they are very far from the earth, from towns, from trees. The motors fill the lighted chamber with a silver that changes its substance. The clock ticks on. The dials, the radio lamps, the various ands and needles go through their invisible alchemy. From second to second these mysterious stirrings, a few muffled words, a concentrated tenseness, contribute to the end result. And when the hour is at hand the pilot may glue his forehead to the window with perfect assurance. Out of oblivion the gold has been smelted: there it gleams in the lights of the airport.
And yet we have all known flights when of a sudden, each for himself, it has seemed to us that we have crossed the border of the world of reality; when, only a couple of hours from port, we have felt ourselves more distant from it than we should feel if we were in India; when there has come premonition of an incursion into a forbidden world whence it was going to be infinitely difficult to return. …
And with that we knew ourselves to be lost in interplanetary space among a thousand inaccessible planets, we who sought only the one veritable planet, our own, that planet on which alone we should find our familiar countryside, the houses of our friends, our treasures.
Here the author captures so powerfully some of his altered states of consciousness while stranded in the Sahara at night:
Once, in this same mineral Sahara, I was taught that a dream might partake of the miraculous. …
When I opened my eyes I saw nothing but the pool of nocturnal sky, for I was lying on my back with outstretched arms, face to face with that hatchery of stars. Only half awake, still unaware that those depths were sky, having no roof between those depths and me, no branches to screen them, no root to cling to, I was seized by vertigo and felt myself as if flung forth and plunging downriver like a diver.
But I did not fall. From nape to heel I discovered myself bound to earth. I felt a sort of appeasement in surrendering to my weight. Gravitation had become as sovereign as love. The immense void of night. I was glued to our planet by a pressure like that which one is glued to the side of a car on a curve. I leaned with joy against this admirable best-work, this solidity, this security, feeling against my body this curving bridge of my ship.…
I lay there pondering my situation, lost in the desert and in danger, naked between sky and sand, withdrawn by too much silence from the poles of my life. I knew that I should wear out days and weeks returning to them if I were not sighted by some plane, or if next day the Moors did not find and murder me. Here I possessed nothing in the world. I was no more than a mortal strayed between sand and stars, conscious of the single blessing of breathing. And yet I discovered myself filled with dreams.
Where it comes to trips to South America, there is a sense of real pioneering. Crossing a mountain range like the Andes without radar or a pressurized cabin was quite a challenge they routinely faced. He shares the story of a close friend who miraculously walked out of the mountains after a winter crash. When St. Exupery first visits the most southernmost town in the Chilean Patagonia, struggles hard to feel a connection with ordinary people:
I landed in the peace of the evening. Punta Arenas! I leaned against a fountain and looked at the girls in the square. Standing there within a couple of feet of their grace. I felt more poignantly than ever the human mystery.
In a world in which life so perfectly responds to life, where flowers mingle with flowers in the wind’s eye, where the swan is the familiar of all swans, man alone builds his isolation. What a space between men their spiritual natures create! A girl’s reverie isolates her from me, and how shall I enter into it? What can one know of a girl who passes, walking with slow steps homeward, eyes lowered, smiling to herself, filled with adorable inventions and with fables? Out of the thoughts, the voice, the silences of a lover, she can form an empire, and thereafter sees in all the world but him a people of barbarians. More surely than if she were on another planet, I feel her to be locked up in her language, in her secret, in her habits, in the singing echoes of her memory. Born yesterday of the volcanoes, of greenswards, of brine of the sea, she walks here already half divine.
…I know nothing. I do not enter into their empires. Man in the presence of man is as solitary as in the face of a wide winter sky in which there sweeps, never to be tamed, a flight of trumpeting geese.
This book was a small wonder for me, and I expect it would be so for many of my friends. It reminds me of the line from Leonard Cohen: “We are so small between the stars so large against the sky”. In a couple of sittings, you can be transported and return to earth a better person. I found a free copy on the internet, but I can’t share it because I don’t know if it is an illegal version.