Accidental Darlings

by Crystal Jeans

A delightfully subversive and darkly funny new novel from Polari Prize-shortlisted author Crystal Jeans, inspired in part by Dickens' Great Expectations…

In the night, I slept with my head under a shawl, listening to the ceaseless low groans of the house, telling myself that my mother would never have sent me to live with a murderer or a witch or a Miss Havisham…

1924.

When Anastasia’s beloved mother dies, she has no choice but to go to rural Skimpole and move in with ‘the Aunt’ – too fearsome for a first name, an outcast from the village who lives in a dilapidated mansion with two servants and an unruly pack of dogs.

The many mysteries of Skimpole are irresistibly how did Anastasia’s father really die? Who wrote the extremely raunchy love letters she has found in the Aunt’s bedroom, signed ‘Big Willy’? And why does everyone in the village hate the Aunt so much?

When some of the Aunt’s friends from her youth arrive at the house, wreathed in cigarette smoke and an air of debauchery, Anastasia may be closer to finding answers – but the truth she was so desperate to uncover will turn her entire world upside down…

From the author of THE INVERTS (‘the sort of thing Nancy Mitford might have written if she’d been gay… wonderfully blithe, witty and moving’ – Rowan Pelling, Daily Mail), this is a delightfully subversive and darkly funny novel, inspired in part by Dickens’ Great Expectations.

Genres: Queer, LGBT, Historical Fiction, Historical, Lesbian, Fiction, Audiobook

336 pages, Hardcover

Published August 1, 2024

About the author

Crystal Jeans was raised in Cardiff. She has various poems published online and in print, including a pamphlet, 'Just Like That' by Mulfran Press, which features poems drawing from her experience as a carer for the elderly. Her short stories, 'Split Me in Two, Gareth Moon' and 'My Bukowski' have appeared in the New Welsh Review (the first of these shortlisted for the Bridport Prize). She lives with her young daughter and numerous animals. She also writes a blog: https://crystaljeans.wordpress.com/ and has a Facebook author page. Don't bother trying to engage her on Twitter - she's crap at it.

Reviews

[Emily Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

After the first few chapters I was pretty sceptical about this book. It seemed a little anachronistic, the constant references to Great Expectations were jarring and I wasn’t particularly enamoured by the narrator. But once I settled into it, I honestly really enjoyed it!

The characters were all unique and weird, and I loved them all, even when I hated them. They all made mistake after mistake, and it made them even more interesting. I particularly enjoyed the tumultuous relationships between the Aunt and just about everyone else ever.

The queer elements were fun, and the small town energy made it feel realistic when some parts of the story absolutely weren’t. Honestly though, Anastasia should have been a bit faster to work out that something a bit gay was going on let’s be real.

The short chapters kept it snappy, I liked the occasional epistolary element, and the time jumps kept things moving too.

It was a little predictable at times, and I did feel that it all ended a little quickly, but on the whole, I actually really liked it, more than I anticipated I think.

Thanks NetGalley for giving me the arc for this!

[Gretchen Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picked this out on a whim because it was on my bucket list to buy a book from Shakespeare & Co in Paris and this cover caught my eye — and holy moly, this turned out to be everything I look for in a book. Wonderful storytelling, complex female characters, witty dry humor, and also perfectly titled. Hats off to Crystal Jeans!!

[marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,75/5
c'était long, trèèèèès long à s'installer mais une fois dedans c'est génial. je trouve ça vraiment dommage que le rythme bancal desserve autant l'histoire, car ça aurait pu être un 5 pour moi (drame familial, lesbiennes, humour...)

[L Powers (Bookish_Mum) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accidental Darlings by Crystal Jeans
Rating: 4/5
Representation: LGBTQ+

Wow, "Accidental Darlings" was an absolute thrill from start to finish! The author really knocked it out of the park with this one. I was hooked right up to the last page, and that ending? *Chef's kiss* - it was perfect and left me feeling completely satisfied.

We follow Anastasia whose life goes topsy-turvy after her mom dies. She ends up an orphan and has to move to a place called Skimpole. She's stuck living with this weird lady everyone just calls "the Aunt" - and let me tell you, this Aunt does not have one motherly bone in her body. Nobody in town likes her, and she lives in this old mansion that could fall apart at any second. Oh, and her only friends? A crazy housekeeper and a bunch of feral dogs. Talk about instant creepy vibes!

But here's where it gets really good - this book is packed with secrets and mysteries. The author does this amazing job of weaving all these different storylines together, keeping you guessing the whole time. For instance, what really happened to Anastasia's dad? Was it just an accident, or is there more to the story?

And to add to the already enthralling narrative, Anastasia finds these steamy love letters in the Aunt's room signed by some guy called "Big Willy." I mean, come on! Now we’re wanting to figure out who this mystery man is, and what's his deal with the Aunt?

But the biggest mystery of all? Why does everyone in town hate the Aunt so much?

As Anastasia starts digging, she uncovers all these crazy small-town secrets. It's like peeling an onion - each layer is more shocking than the last. And let me tell you, not once did I see ANYTHING coming. This plot did not follow the norms, not one bit.

What I really liked about this book though was how it mixed cozy historical fiction with mystery and suspense. The author nails the historical setting, making you feel like you're really there, but keeps the plot zipping along with all the secrets and drama.

The characters are great too. Watching Anastasia grow from this sad, lost teenager into a young woman uncovering all these buried truths was incredibly satisfying. And all the other characters, from the mysterious Aunt, the cooky housekeeper, to the Aunt’s strange and larger than life friends, they all felt real and really added so much to the story.

Best of all, the author doesn't leave you hanging. All those plot threads? They get tied up nice and neat, with some surprises that make total sense when you look back.

If you're in the mood for a cozy historical read with a good dose of mystery and a little bit of romance thrown in, you've have to check out "Accidental Darlings." It's perfect for curling up with on a rainy day and losing yourself in all the secrets and scandals. This book proves that sometimes the best stories pop up in the weirdest places - even in a falling-apart mansion in the middle of nowhere!

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Aunt smoked her cigarettes back-to-back and laughed with abandon. I hated her more than ever. She could have been this to me -- for me -- yet chose not to be. Which side of myself shall I show to this orphan henceforth? she'd thought. Jolly aunt or ice-pick aunt? Hmmm. [loc. 827]

The novel begins in the 1920s, just after Anastasia's mother dies: she never knew her father, though her mother told her of his heroic sacrifice in the Great War. In lieu of other family, Anastasia is packed off to the dubious comforts of life with 'the Aunt', a fearsome and stony figure who reminds Anastasia (a great reader) of Miss Havisham. The Aunt does not take kindly to this comparison, or to Anastasia poking around among her possessions and reading a series of lewd and explicit love letters, signed 'Big Willy'.

As Anastasia grows older, the two of them get along better. When friends of the Aunt arrive from London, the story really gets going -- and Anastasia learns about her Aunt's lurid history, her career as an author, and what really happened to her brother, Anastasia's father. She also discovers sex, and friendship, and how one can destroy the other. She and the Aunt learn a great deal from one another, and the flash-forward opening scene -- which seemed like a Gothic, or perhaps a Dickensian, tragedy -- becomes something considerably more hopeful.

I liked this much more than The Inverts, perhaps because of its narrator. The viewpoint character, Anastasia, is clever, naive and curious, and her maturing relationship with her aunt is awkward and painful: a confirmed spinster confronted with an angry, grieving, self-centred child, who grows into a likeable and amusing companion. I especially enjoyed the scenes of them working together on the Aunt's next novel, and there are some cutting observations on the literary scene.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for the advance review copy, in exchange for this full honest review. UK Publication Date is 01 AUG 2024.

[Ashleigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Took a punt on this after seeing it in the library and being drawn to the beautiful cover and I'm so glad I did! One of my favourite books this year, I could have happily read it in one sitting. It had all the ingredients for a good story for me - the character arcs, the relationships, the mystery, the eccentricity, with twists and turns right until the last page and a good sprinkling of feminist fuck yous and queer power! The Aunt was moody and badass, I think I love her. 5/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really didn’t know what to expect with this one as, admittedly, it was a panic buy… but what a book! It’s hilarious, heart-warming and quietly devastating in all the right places. The story is so beautifully written and driven by characters pouring champagne-filled flutes flowing with lies, scandal, drama, gossip, and debauchery, all carrying a mix of different narratives that see the characters evolve so much. Love finding a new author to add to the bookshelf!!!!!

[Rudrashree Makwana · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is deeply evocative. Set in 1920s. Anastasia’s mother dies and she move in with her aunt. While she is oblivious to family secrets. The truth that her mother told her, isn’t the truth. Her Aunt is a bit cold and difficult. After some years when Anastasia grows up, she not only gets close to her Aunt but also learn the truth and discover the long buried secrets. The book is gloomy and full of secrets. I liked the execution and the author has taken us back to the past through letters and conversations. Some parts were so heartbreaking.

Thanks to the Author and Publisher

[Bookish Thoughts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Firstly the book cover 😍 had me drawn in straightaway giving that Gatsby / Burlesque vibe and I love the bright colours.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, with the historic 1920’s vibes, mystery and suspense, romance, heartbreak and a few steamy moments it was excellent.

Crystal really brings everything alive the old house thiat’s falling apart and holding so much mystery, the fun graveyard, the havisham statue and the letters. The multiple female protagonists propelling this story from start to finish. Anastasia facing her own challenges from the start. Loosing her mother and gaining an aunt, finding out her father didn’t pass away the way her mother had told her he had and also growing in to a women and becoming aware of her own wants and needs.
“The Aunt” (love that she’s called this by Anastasia) a women fighting her own battles after the loss of her brother, a town that hates her and an ex fiancé she run out on before she could say I do tormenting her. A very mysterious woman with so much more to her story you go from thinking she’s a witch to realising she also has her own demons and was just hidden away for so long to face them.

Oh and of course the sapphic romance that you just didn’t suspect. The darker moments that really hit deep, the incredibly witty laugh out loud moments and the demonising of queer women but also the joys of the queer moments also. It’s well written and you feel like your visually seeing what your reading with such amazing descriptions throughout.

I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of this novel and would love love love a second book to continue the journey with these wonderful women!!!

[Claire T · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no expectations with this book as I picked it up from the library. This book verges on a lot of different themes such a dark comedy, romance, thriller and who-done-it. I loved everything about it; the time setting, the main characters dysfunctional past, the excitement of discovering more about the Aunt and the protagonists father. The Aunt was so much fun, swaying from depressive to somewhat steady due to, I think, mental illness. She’s creative, feminist, fiery and her LGBTQ friends are all before their time. I also loved how Crystal created these friendships within friendships and how you don’t get to pick your family but you do get to pick your friends. An amazing book that I would highly recommend!

[Elinore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Historical family drama set in 1920s. Anastasia's mother dies and now orphaned she is sent from her home in Wales to live with her paternal aunt likened to Miss Havisham in the decrepit family home in rural Skimpole. Mystery surrounds the death of her father, her mother told her he was a war hero, and village hatred for her aunt. Lonely, isolated Anastasia starts to uncover the truth with little help from her taciturn aunt. The pair slowly reach an understanding as they bond over love of books. Anastasia's eyes are opened when her aunts avant-garde friends pay a visit and she misunderstands their relationships. References Great Expectations but plot is more of an unsolved crime.

[andshe.reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ahh, this book was such a vibe, I absolutely felt like I'd been transported back in time.

The story was entertaining and humorous. However, also contained some deep poignant moments throughout.

I adored most of the characters, very lovable and flamboyant and highly engaging personalities. Even the big old house felt like a character in its own right. Until the very end. A bonus was the unexpected sapphic romance and the twists that came with it.

It's a fabulous read, and I highly recommend it. I can't wait to read more books by this author.

[Greg S · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gloriously camp yet sophisticated queer novel set in the early 20th Century. A young girl, recently orphaned, is sent to stay with her aunt in her dilapidated home. At first they ignore each other, but as the story unfolds and secrets start to unravel, their bond becomes much tighter.

The cast of characters in Accidental Darlings are a little stereotypical but I actually didn't care because they're so fully realised. And the plot, while it loses its momentum a little in the final quarter, had me hooked.

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a joy to read. EF Benson on speed; hedonistic, raucous, exhilarating but not avoiding tragedy either. Loved almost every minute so why only 4 stars? I'd have given it 5 without the final chapter as it stands. I can see why it's there and it doesn't feel tacked on in anyway, but I would have been so happy to have finished at the end of the previous chapter.

I doubt there'd ever be a sequel, but I'd love it if there were. Anastasia deserves a longer story.

[Emma Hardy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this to be a bit of a slow start but then when I got into it, it really came into its own. Good storyline., interesting subject matters and women's lives. Perhaps a tad too many Great Expectations references. I'm not sure any were needed but overall one I enjoyed.

[Mia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was mad but of course I loved it. So funny and ridiculous and all the characters, even the villains, were so layered and interesting. So good!

[John Adam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Totally loved it. Great plot. Sad bit made me cry (easily done). Funny bits laughed out loud. Can't say more without spoiling it.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

My heart was warmed. Takes a third of the book to get into it but when you do it’s an absolute delight!! Loved the aunt from the start, iconic queen

[Maxi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took a while to get going but worth the persistence!!!

[Colette Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful!

[Rochelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of book my soul is always craving, the 1920’s vibes were immaculate and I was completely transported. There were plenty of sad and poignant moments but it was also full of humour and made me laugh out loud a lot.

The main character Anastasia and “The Aunt” as she refers to her Auntie are both massive bookworms so there were lots of references to books scattered throughout the novel and gorgeous, messy scenes of books piled high on floors and scattered everywhere, what more could us readers want in a book?

There was intrigue, twists and turns aplenty and lots of fabulous, loveable characters. The huge crumbling house almost felt like a character in its own right. I enjoyed the misunderstood feminist narrative and a sapphic romance is always welcome 💗

This was everything I could ever ask for from a book and I loved every single page. You’ll want to put aside a day or two with no plans because this book is impossible to put down once you start it. I felt plenty of female rage for the “The Aunt” but I absolutely adored this wonderfully heartfelt story and can’t stop thinking about. If you liked Darling by India Knight then I think you’ll love this too.

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accidental Darlings is another Crystal Jeans triumph - I'm quickly becoming a firm fan. I particularly enjoyed the careful balance between maintaining the historical accuracy of characters' behaviour whilst not deluging the reader with the horror of the lived realities of the period. The ending in particular felt positively gleeful, despite all of the dark Dickensian allusions beforehand (some of which I undoubtedly missed, as it's been a long while since I read Great Expectations). That said, Accidental Darlings was both emotionally resonant and made me cackle out loud a fair few times. I can't wait to read more of Crystal Jeans' work.
Thanks to The Borough Press and Netgalley for the ARC.