Almost Loved

by Rena Joy, Shelby Leigh (editor)

"What if you spend the rest of your life chasing love,

only to find her cowering in the pit of your stomach?



What then?”



Almost Loved follows a former foster child’s search for love and connection, while pushing back on the labels assigned to her. Grappling with subjects of abuse, violence, mental health, and deeply held grief, this collection aims to what does it truly mean to be loved in a world where you’re seen as second best?



Almost Loved follows a narrative arc and is broken into six sections. In section one we meet the unlovable girl, where we discover her origin story and the characters waiting to rip her apart. Next Murky Middle and Dark Nights, where she struggles to navigate dysfunctional relationships with herself, family and friends (relationships that almost end her life). But then she meets her partner, makes real friends and welcomes her little into the world and something shifts inside her. Bit by bit, she reclaims the love she should've had from the start.



The unlovable girl represents our struggle to see ourselves for the beautiful humans we are. Our voices stolen and hearts shredded by those that don't know how to love themselves, but despite all the heartache we get back up again. Bit by bit, we believe in ourselves. We embrace our inner child who should've have been loved from the start.

Genres: Poetry

176 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 5, 2024

Reviews

[V. Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Almost Loved" is a truly thought-provoking and emotionally evoking collection of poems. I am not adopted but the majority of the poems are relatable regardless of that, due to the way Rena Joy has written them. I could feel the raw emotions, the soul-wrenching pain, and the grief for what was and what was not and what was lost and never had.

There are many great poems but a few of my favorites are: "My Name Mattered" (the last line!!), "Stripped," "The Little Things," "Make Yourself @ Home," "Disassociate" (this one was so relatable),
"Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire," (the last stanza is a banger), "Build Me an Arc So I May Grieve," "Complex PTSD," (final stanza is so good), "Life on the Ledge" (really hit home, last stanza is oof!), "I Saw the Signs," "Can You Be Nostalgic for Moments That Never Happened?" (this one reminded me of a poem I wrote where I ask the same thing), "Sweet Death," "Forgiving an Abuser," "What If We Are Meant for More?" and "Lov & War."

Needless to say, there are many other poems in this collection. Those ones are ones that I really really connected with. I am a huge fan of Rena's work now and look forward to following this author's journey!

[Christina Vourcos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible Insight

Even though I’m not an adoptee or someone who has adopted a child, I’ve known others who were adopted or have adopted. I think it’s so important that Rene Joy’s voice is heard because adoptees don’t get as much opportunities to share about their experiences and grief.

The grief she shares can impact beyond those connected by adoption and help others understand some of the struggles that adoptees have. The poems are powerfully written. I hope more will read this book.

[Amanda Matwie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rena has poured truth onto the pages in a way that can't help but evoke emotions from the reader.
Even if you aren't an adoptee, you will find something that resonates with you in this book of poetry:
*The journey to overcome childhood loss and religious trauma.
*The tenacity of a woman trying to heal, and to find the love she deserved along.
*Those pieces of parenthood that heal you in the most surprising ways.
*So much more 😍

[Jonna · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Almost Loved" is a deeply touching and thought-provoking poetry collection. Through these poems, the author portrays the journey of a foster child, powerfully conveying the feelings of disconnection and longing that often accompany a separation from one’s roots. The poems explore how this sense of being cut off from one’s history can create a lingering feeling of homelessness that follows one from childhood through adulthood.

The collection takes readers on a journey from childhood to maturity, prompting reflections on profound themes like heritage and the elements of our past traumas that we carry forward to our own children and relationships. It raises essential questions about family dynamics, sibling and parental relationships, and offers beautiful insights on love. I highly recommend this collection—it is a truly moving and beautifully written book.

[Victoria Gehman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful poetry from the perspective of an adoptee about the grief, loss, and feelings of misunderstanding many adoptees experience, as well as the healing of learning to love oneself. This book gives voice to those who have been told they should be grateful, to those whose pain has been minimized. I would recommend this book for adoptees, foster children, those who have experienced childhood trauma, as well as social workers, foster and adoptive parents. We need more voices like this and more understanding of the grieving process often accompanied with adoption -- even in the cases where adoption is a necessary and good thing.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took me awhile to buy this book because I didn’t think I could relate: I’m not adopted and I was blessed with a good childhood. However, I’ve had different struggles with mental health and I found a lot of the poems very relatable.