What do you think?
Rate this book
George Valentine's Retirement Plan
Power corrupts; and those who want it get it by exposing those who have it. It’s the circle of life and George Valentine is its middleman.
From their South London home George and Dorothy Valentine dig up dirt for divorces, corporate battles and political smear campaigns. They’ve decided to retire after their next case. When their last mark turns out to be the Home Secretary, George dreams of a grand finale while Dot fears disaster.
Chaos rules as George’s retirement plan unravels and his maverick family pit their wits against an oligarch, a Bulgarian hitman and the Albanian sex trade - as well as the Westminster elite.
GEORGE VALENTINE’S RETIREMENT PLAN is a wild romp through a world where reputations are traded like commodities.
From their South London home George and Dorothy Valentine dig up dirt for divorces, corporate battles and political smear campaigns. They’ve decided to retire after their next case. When their last mark turns out to be the Home Secretary, George dreams of a grand finale while Dot fears disaster.
Chaos rules as George’s retirement plan unravels and his maverick family pit their wits against an oligarch, a Bulgarian hitman and the Albanian sex trade - as well as the Westminster elite.
GEORGE VALENTINE’S RETIREMENT PLAN is a wild romp through a world where reputations are traded like commodities.
365 pages, Paperback
First published May 28, 2014
4 people are currently reading
134 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
July 15, 2014
George Valentine’s Retirement Plan was a Goodreads first read win. It was a really good read with twists in the plot, from the first page when the photographer turns from a leather clad biker to a sequined party crasher, to the last, when we are left wondering who wrote the book. The plot was complex but not too complicated to follow. George is ready to retire from the numerous entrepreneurial schemes he and his wife are involved in – a blog Westminster inside Track which aimed to embarrass politicians, a catering company – but mainly a detective company which specialises in exposing scandals amongst the political elite – information paid for by other politicians, in a scramble to manoeuvre to the top.
The book is very humorous. First there are the characters. George is an old fashioned kind of detective. No phone hacking and computer investigations, but traditional raiding of waste bins and painstakingly piecing together torn and shredded paper. They pride themselves on their integrity, finding evidence not planting it – except for one instance, which might land them in jail. His wife is good at ferreting out information about people, while is daughter is good at taking photos of people in compromising situations.
Along the way, other amusing people appear. A Bulgarian hit man who is more interested in rock music than killing people, and fortunately has rather bad luck with his assignments, so doesn’t kill anyone or get killed. There’s an aging rock star with a “made in Lewisham” tattoo on his buttock, a super model turned politician, a band of “want to be musicians”. Then there are the more staid characters, a banker and seniors politicians, who appear to be in control, but end up pawns in the power game, buffeted by allegations and evidence which will bring them down. But will George crash down with them?
As well as the characters being amusing, the plot is as well. Unexpected images of the hit man considering stalking ducks in the park to eat. Characters trying to escape from the isle of Wight reality show, dressed in drag and riding bikes = another pursued round the island in a stolen boat – and many more. The plot could be taken seriously, it deals with contemporary issues of corruption and sleaze, but in a very tongue in the cheek manner which makes it hilarious instead.
I think it would make an excellent film or comedy/detective/thriller series.
The book is very humorous. First there are the characters. George is an old fashioned kind of detective. No phone hacking and computer investigations, but traditional raiding of waste bins and painstakingly piecing together torn and shredded paper. They pride themselves on their integrity, finding evidence not planting it – except for one instance, which might land them in jail. His wife is good at ferreting out information about people, while is daughter is good at taking photos of people in compromising situations.
Along the way, other amusing people appear. A Bulgarian hit man who is more interested in rock music than killing people, and fortunately has rather bad luck with his assignments, so doesn’t kill anyone or get killed. There’s an aging rock star with a “made in Lewisham” tattoo on his buttock, a super model turned politician, a band of “want to be musicians”. Then there are the more staid characters, a banker and seniors politicians, who appear to be in control, but end up pawns in the power game, buffeted by allegations and evidence which will bring them down. But will George crash down with them?
As well as the characters being amusing, the plot is as well. Unexpected images of the hit man considering stalking ducks in the park to eat. Characters trying to escape from the isle of Wight reality show, dressed in drag and riding bikes = another pursued round the island in a stolen boat – and many more. The plot could be taken seriously, it deals with contemporary issues of corruption and sleaze, but in a very tongue in the cheek manner which makes it hilarious instead.
I think it would make an excellent film or comedy/detective/thriller series.
June 24, 2014
This is a cracking read. A good plot, much given in the title but the route to the outcome is the good bit. This is a well written, well paced book which retains interest throughout on a number of different fronts. The characters are a good combination and are very well drawn - all with strengths and weaknesses but all have some appeal - some more than others. In all good tales, the good are good and the bad are bad but the for the bad to be interestingly awful they have to be well fleshed out. and they are in this book. It's a hard book to put down and it draws you along, teasing you with a certain amount of knowledge about what's going to happen but not knowing quite how. Parts are slightly fantastic but isn't this what sells Bond movies? They don't reduce the worth of the book. It's also a nice picture of London in particular.
This would make an absolutely brilliant tv series or film.
It's the author's first novel and it's good to find that it's not formulaic. They have an easy style which is uncluttered, entertaining and compelling. I really hope there are more like this to come.
This would make an absolutely brilliant tv series or film.
It's the author's first novel and it's good to find that it's not formulaic. They have an easy style which is uncluttered, entertaining and compelling. I really hope there are more like this to come.
August 19, 2014
George and his wife Dot want to retire. The pension and gold watch are not for him. He and his lady have built several thriving businesses digging up dirt on politicians and celebrities to quell the public thirst for smut and to propel those who pay them well into positions of power. It is not a particularly nice business but George and Dot have standards. They simply reveal. They do not create or colour but they have been able to uncover a mountain of sins, corruption and mischief which have allowed their clients to make or break others.
Just before their planned retirement to Spain, they get embroiled in a very seedy and dangerous mess that threatens not only themselves but their daughter. It is a rather cheeky ride as the Valentines unravel the mess in which they find themselves and plan to use the information they have gleaned one final time.
If you are somewhat jaded about politics and celebrity, you will enjoy this frothy book with a serious subtext. George and Dot deserve their retirement and the real villains enjoy their just rewards. Just be careful what you put in your trash!
Just before their planned retirement to Spain, they get embroiled in a very seedy and dangerous mess that threatens not only themselves but their daughter. It is a rather cheeky ride as the Valentines unravel the mess in which they find themselves and plan to use the information they have gleaned one final time.
If you are somewhat jaded about politics and celebrity, you will enjoy this frothy book with a serious subtext. George and Dot deserve their retirement and the real villains enjoy their just rewards. Just be careful what you put in your trash!
August 29, 2014
This book had me hooked! Loved George Valentine's Retirement Plan. Quirky title, quirky book full of quirky, interesting and mad characters. George and Dorothy Valentine are planning to retire from their family business after years of stakeouts and dirt finding missions. No more spying, or rummaging in politicians rubbish bags. However along with their daughter Laura and musician lodger Will and his motley crew of band mates, they run into complications. Enter scheming politicians, a Russian oligarch intent on kidnapping and murder, a hapless Bulgarian assassin, and group of trading Albanians. This book is a great well written debut. I enjoyed the twists and turns of this humorous adventure.
I received this book from Goodreads Firstreads and author Laurence Cooper for honest review. Thanks Laurence I loved going along for the ride with your madcap Valentines, hope to see further books from you on the shelves soon!
I received this book from Goodreads Firstreads and author Laurence Cooper for honest review. Thanks Laurence I loved going along for the ride with your madcap Valentines, hope to see further books from you on the shelves soon!
June 22, 2014
Few pages into the book, I was hooked.
Laura Valentine's foray into her father's world of corruption, manipulation and deception had the pages turning almost without the need of my fingers.
Set in contemporary London, Laurence Cooper has written a gripping novel where a cast of shady manipulative likeable characters mingle in a world orchestrated by the dark art of public relation.
Laurence Cooper, with a brilliant dynamic style and expertly placed story cliff-hangers, make this book a hugely entertaining novel which I could not put down.
So my next question is : When will the film be done?
Laura Valentine's foray into her father's world of corruption, manipulation and deception had the pages turning almost without the need of my fingers.
Set in contemporary London, Laurence Cooper has written a gripping novel where a cast of shady manipulative likeable characters mingle in a world orchestrated by the dark art of public relation.
Laurence Cooper, with a brilliant dynamic style and expertly placed story cliff-hangers, make this book a hugely entertaining novel which I could not put down.
So my next question is : When will the film be done?
July 21, 2014
its a look at life of political scandals, how two people combine their ideas of knowledge in the PR industry and world of politics start up a detective agency where they dig up dirt for divorcees, corporate battles and political smear campaigns at the same time making themselves a lot of money. Their next case is to be the last one, all going towards Georges Retirement Plan, unfortunately they come up against the mafia, a hitman and the albanian sex trade where everyone is a commodity. Its a crime mystery thriller full of intrigue, edge of seat reading and suspense.
July 6, 2014
A fabulous comedy romp around the themes of music, politics, PR - and the dodgy dealings of a lovable pair of old rogues. If you enjoy novels that take a hefty swipe at corruption in high places and cynicism and greed in lower ones, as well as well-drawn, original characters and a plot that rollicks along at a can't-stop-now pace, George Valentine's Retirement Plan by the talented and versatile Laurence Cooper is one to buy and read.
July 23, 2014
To begin at the beginning, the title intrigues. Tongue in cheek? And so it firmly is. Here is a born writer delighting in taking apart the world of PR he obviously knows so well and for good measure lampooning the underbelly of the political establishment. He's having fun, and so will the reader, who when all too soon the final chapter ends, will sit back with a smile and no doubt murmur "and good luck to you George Valentine!"
July 19, 2014
Enjoyable romp with the Valentines and unwitting helpers. Yes it is fiction but would not surprise me if such a story could happen in real life. Digging for dirt on politicians is all the rage just now (as I would imagine that most of our elected MPs have wardrobes full of rattling skeletons).
Highly recommend.
Ray Smillie
Highly recommend.
Ray Smillie
June 25, 2014
A friend recommended this to me and I’m so glad – what a fun read it is! It’s very fast paced with political intrigue, murder and mayhem with a touch of romance and music thrown in. Though I loved George and Dot, Kracholov and the boy had to be my favourites. Give it a go – you won’t be disappointed.
July 11, 2014
*received from Goodreads first reads*
I really enjoyed this book.
Something different to things I usually read, but wow! I couldn't put this book down, a real page turned helped by brilliant writing, believable characters and superb plot. Some parts were hilarious too. A wonderful read form start to finish!
I have already recommended this to friends and I will continue to do so.
I really enjoyed this book.
Something different to things I usually read, but wow! I couldn't put this book down, a real page turned helped by brilliant writing, believable characters and superb plot. Some parts were hilarious too. A wonderful read form start to finish!
I have already recommended this to friends and I will continue to do so.
July 17, 2014
I just finished this and thought it was a blast. It was a fun-filled romp through British politics and the folks who come up with all the dirt on them. The first chapter had me hooked and I never looked back. If you're looking for a fast-paced, fun tale that doesn't take itself too seriously then I suggest you give this a try.
July 16, 2014
A great read, a very different story line. Light reading with humour and great twists and turns. I was fortunate in winning this book from Goodreads Giveaways, thank you.
September 1, 2014
Great story, very enjoyable and fun. Some memorable characters.
September 21, 2014
Hapless toffs, comic book Russian villains and death by media. What's not to love about this very funny book.
August 13, 2014
**I received this book in a giveaway on Goodreads from the author in return for a fair review**
I loved it! It is so very well written, fast-paced and keeping you interested in every twist and turn of the story. Living in England I felt this was absolutely like real life - these are the things I well imagine might be going on right now in London, behind closed doors of politicians' offices and in the glittering reaches of the business elite! :) I felt the whole book was infused with a very essential "Englishness", which was thoroughly enjoyable.
I loved the characters, who were all very interesting and alive - no one was one-dimensional, every person has good and bad qualities - I even really liked Kracholov the music-loving hitman :D George and Dot Valentine and their daughter Laura are the main good guys, although what they do is morally dubious; the rocker Hammond Marshall is such a classic "bad boy burnt out rocker" comeback tale, I enjoyed him thoroughly (and for some reason imagined him like Keith Richards!); and politician Robert White in my mind looked like Boris Johnson, which added a whole new dimension of reality...
I absolutely recommend this book for a fun, interesting read!
I loved it! It is so very well written, fast-paced and keeping you interested in every twist and turn of the story. Living in England I felt this was absolutely like real life - these are the things I well imagine might be going on right now in London, behind closed doors of politicians' offices and in the glittering reaches of the business elite! :) I felt the whole book was infused with a very essential "Englishness", which was thoroughly enjoyable.
I loved the characters, who were all very interesting and alive - no one was one-dimensional, every person has good and bad qualities - I even really liked Kracholov the music-loving hitman :D George and Dot Valentine and their daughter Laura are the main good guys, although what they do is morally dubious; the rocker Hammond Marshall is such a classic "bad boy burnt out rocker" comeback tale, I enjoyed him thoroughly (and for some reason imagined him like Keith Richards!); and politician Robert White in my mind looked like Boris Johnson, which added a whole new dimension of reality...
I absolutely recommend this book for a fun, interesting read!
July 6, 2014
This was such a surprise. First of the level of detail, very enjoyable. Secondly, the story, I literally wasn't able to put the book down. Then again there were unusual and believable characters to follow and a story that was able to entertain. All for all, some laughs, suspicions and a good story journey.
January 3, 2015
*received from Goodreads first reads*
Enjoyed this. Its very different from my usual doom and gloom reads.I am passing it on to my husband who loves funny books and this one is clever and amusing. I would say on a par with the late Tom Sharpe. Will make great TV if any producers are reading this.
Enjoyed this. Its very different from my usual doom and gloom reads.I am passing it on to my husband who loves funny books and this one is clever and amusing. I would say on a par with the late Tom Sharpe. Will make great TV if any producers are reading this.
December 21, 2014
What an innovative story, such an unexpected pleasure to be led through a story I couldn't predict and with quirky funny characters and story-lines.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews