RADAR Take Back Your Brain How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head and How to Get It Out.

by Kara Loewentheil

A bold new paradigm for breaking free from negative self-talk and creating a life of confidence, power, and joy, from Master Coach and host of the UnF*ck Your Brain podcast Kara Loewentheil.

I never look good in skirts. I can’t ask for a raise or my boss will think I’m greedy. I’m getting too old to find a partner. I’m a bad mom and my kids can tell. I’ll never be good enough. 

Women absorb a lifetime of sexist social messaging that says our worth is determined by our looks, accomplishments, and what everyone (but ourselves) thinks of us. Take Back Your Brain exposes how the patriarchy hijacks our minds and wrecks our confidence—and shows how to break free once and for all.

For a long time, Kara Loewentheil wasn’t sure why she, like so many ambitious women, still wrestled with insecurity and low self-esteem, despite two Ivy League degrees, a successful law career, and a thriving social life. After breaking down under her desk one day, she decided enough was enough. Kara learned the power of thought work, became a Master Certified Life Coach, rewired her brain to overcome sexist social messages, and began to coach other women to do the same.

Now in Take Back Your Brain, she shows you how to undo the socialization you never asked for, starting with reprogramming your core beliefs from patriarchy’s corrosive influence. Weaving cognitive psychology and feminist theory with practical thought work exercises, this book teaches you the conscious and unconscious biases that infiltrate your self-talk, Replace self-critical thoughts with new, self-affirming beliefs, Embrace your emotions without fear of being seen as “too much,” Create new, empowered thought patterns around how you relate to your body, finances, and relationships Stop relying on others for validation and start building self-confidence from within.

By changing your thoughts, you can transform your emotions, actions, the direction of your life, and ultimately the world. Because when women unleash their true power, they awaken new possibilities for all of us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Feminism, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Development, Mental Health

320 pages, Hardcover

Published May 21, 2024

Reviews

[Elizabeth K · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Penguin Life and NetGalley for the ARC.

I have a great deal ambivalence around self-help books; many are extremely bad, based on little to no research and are meant to promote unsavory ideologies or make lots of money or both.* When they’re directed primarily toward women, this is even more likely.** Yet I often look at them and sometimes read them. Since I’m already a listener of Loewenthiel’s podcast, I was eager to read this book.

I’m pleased to report that I was not disappointed. Take Back Your Brain is grounded in psychological research*** and practical feminism. By practical feminism, I mean that the author’s emphasis is on the day-to-day impact of gender inequality, and its intersections with racism, capitalism, ableism, and anti-fat bias, rather than with the the theoretical causes of systemic oppression. Inequities are explained and supported with data, and Loewentheil offers psychological tools to address how one is impacted by these concrete issues. Most of the examples from her clients and students are white, middle- to upper-class ciswomen, but they are usually accompanied by hypothetical examples of how the situation and the self-coaching responses could be applied among those with different social backgrounds and identities. Contexts for thought work include body image, dating and relationships, finances, and professional advancement.

Loewentheil’s thought work technique is inspired her experience being coached by the life coach and coach trainer, Brooke Castillo. She has adapted the technique for her own use, grounding it in feminism, psychological research, and neuroplasticity. In the final chapter, she brings in a bit of Buddhist influence as she discusses the concept of radical acceptance and how this model of thought work can affect social change beyond the individual.

Tying the thought work method to neuroplasticity may be the most useful part of the book for me. I live with chronic back pain, and for the last year and half I’ve been managing it with Pain Reprocessing Therapy, a methodology based on neuroplasticity. I’ve read Alan Gordon’s The Way Out (which Loewentheil references) and a half-dozen other books on neuroplasticity and pain management, as well as used the Curable app, and none have provided me with such concrete techniques for changing my thoughts as Kara Loewentheil does is in this book.


*I’m looking at you, John Gray.
**When self-help books are directed toward men, they’re usually called leadership books. Or productivity guides.
***The book’s footnotes contain a mixture of citations to academic studies and popularized versions of studies; I’d prefer more of the former and less of the latter, but I’m glad to see citations to research. (The Mars & Venus books have no footnotes or bibliographies, because John Gray made it all up.)

[Isabel Sterling · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read. Kara and I were trained as life coaches at the same school, so I was already familiar with much of the thought work techniques she explains in the first half of the book. For those new to thought work, her take is super approachable. The way she handles the specific topics in the second half (body image, time management, money, social change, etc.) is phenomenal.

For authors specifically, the chapters on money, time, and “taking back the world” are especially relevant to us.

[Elaine Beitelspacher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great way that allows one to understand how our thoughts influence so much of what we do and how we feel. And how they are just thoughts. I highly recommend it!
I listened to the audiobook which was narrated by the author, Kara. I have been part of Kara's Feminist Self-Help society for over a year and this book is a great intro to that work.

[Mary McGee]

Read in hard copy — lots of interesting insights and info in here. Not all of it resonated but a lot of it did, would recommend!

[Sarah Cupitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well. A bit of a reality check. I thought I knew enough on this topic, but apparently not.

Women are often socialised to have "conditional self-esteem," feeling good about themselves only when meeting society's ever-changing, often unrealistic conditions.

“...(Women) are socialised to believe that our worth depends on what other people think of us...So naturally, we make other people into validation vending machines for our self worth, lovability, and value. And equally naturally, we try to get the vending machine to spit out the validation we want - and then get mad or sad when the vending machine won't comply.”

Notes:
- Internalized misogyny refers to the unconscious absorption and perpetuation of sexist attitudes by women against themselves or other women. It's a product of living in a patriarchal society, where we unknowingly internalize harmful gender stereotypes and biases.
- Typically, we process feelings in two ways: 'resist' by trying to suppress the emotion, or 'react' by attempting to numb it through coping mechanisms like drinking or online shopping. However, there's a third, more effective approach: 'receive' the emotion. This means relaxing into the experience and attempting to tolerate it. Research shows that if we receive rather than resist an emotion, the wave of feeling will pass in approximately 90 seconds.
- Find your current thought. In our example: "I don't want my boss to think I'm greedy."
Choose your goal thought. For instance: "I deserve to be recognized for my work."
If you need help, try adding a qualifier to your goal thought: "I sometimes do work deserving of recognition." Sit with that thought until you can move onto the next rung on the ladder.
Try adding a statement of intent: "I am learning to believe that my work is valuable."
- Consider this: numerous studies have shown that women consistently underestimate their performance compared to men, even when completing identical tasks. This phenomenon contributes to what we might call the "brain gap" - a disparity in how women and men perceive their own abilities and potential.
To close this brain gap, we need to embrace two core principles:
What you think isn't necessarily true.
You can intentionally change what and how you think.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book (and the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast) to learn how your thoughts aren't objective facts and how to change them to something you like better so that you can feel the way you want to! The concepts Kara teaches have really helped me be less stressed about work (and consequently excel) and relationships, too. I immediately pre-ordered when I found out she was writing a book.

[Aspen Stander Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have this habit of reading powerful, well-crafted books like this that include journaling exercises and reflection questions but just skipping past them. Probably I should do them and apply what I’m learning to make actual changes in my own life 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, Kara has condensed a great deal of her work and thought in the school of new feminist thinking. I have not listened to her podcast at all, but I’m intrigued to dive in more. Let’s unshackle our brains from the patriarchy, shall we?

I especially enjoyed the section on money (feminist finance is a current interest of mine) and the section on body image.

[G · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful for working with negative thought patterns. Some of my favorite quotes I’m taking with me:

“Trying to control other people always makes us feel out of control”

“Thoughts that are about me aren’t usually connecting thoughts”

“You aren’t responsible for what other people or biology taught your brain to think without your consent, you are responsible only for what you choose to work on believing

“How human of me” - add to the end of thought patterns, ex: I’m really struggling to treat myself kindly today. How human of me.

[Chloe Peach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super cool book for those socialized as a woman, very reflective and actionable

[Paige Bruland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really loved this book!! I read lots of books like this but feel like I learned a ton of new helpful information. I found this author/book because she was on Girl’s Gotta Eat and I’m so glad I read it. This book would truly be helpful for every woman (and person) to read

[Lorena · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love feminist thinking and this just didn’t sit with me. From a psychological perspective this book is based in CBT which just doesn’t lend itself to structural critique. I’m also not a proponent of affirmations as the science is quite weak and in some cases disproven. I think we all know that thinking better thoughts doesn’t change much—otherwise we’d all be doing it and it would be working for us. The author does a decent job at attempting to marry CBT, positive thinking and feminist thinking while also incorporating social critique in between positivity/thinking nuggets. Overall this just was not for me. I’d recommend seeking out Coontz, Clementine Ford, Michelle Elman and others with their critiques and how to live in a world that’s patriarchal.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had really high expectations for this book (which for me is usually a bad sign) because I listened to a podcast episode about said book. And whelp it was underwhelming.

The first and second parts of the book should have been two different books. The first section really focused on the method but didn’t really give as many examples or applications as I would have liked. I would have liked a deeper dive into the method and how to implement it using different approaches. Which maybe the second half of the book was trying to do but it did not fit.

The author has several well argued points and it’s clear that her method has helped lots of people. But as someone who has listened to a number of self help books at this point, I was expecting more.

3⭐️

[The Lexington Bookie · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I initially started my mental health journey, I landed upon Kara Lowenthial’s Un*uck Your Brain podcast and really learned a lot from her episodes on how my brain was trained to work, and how both natural and environmental factors impact your thoughts. When I heard a book was in the works, it became something I knew I wanted to push to the top of my reading list.

While I really enjoyed the audio and found some great insight on it, I did note that there was some redundancies from the podcast that were in the book, and perhaps less fleshed out that each episode (for timing or word count sake I’m sure). I also felt that the author was a little self-promotional, in a way that the book was more supplementary to her coaching business. It makes sense, I get the business part of that, but as someone who wanted a deeper dive without full commitment to a coaching service, the book fell short of my expectations.

Should you still purchase? Absolutely, especially if you aren’t familiar with the author or the podcast. But if you are, I wouldn’t simply because you can now get as much information through her free podcast than as the book.

[Synthia Salomon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love the bit on naming and explaining your emotions as if telling an alien about it

Powerful tool:
I’m safe.
Nothing here is life threatening.
My feelings are valid.

Take charge of your thoughts and feelings.
You are in charge of how you feel.
Activity:
Match your thoughts with feelings in journal writing.

[Gohnar23 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Im a guy but this book SLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GURLLLLL💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅💅

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head and How to Get It Out" by Kara Loewentheil offers a compelling exploration of how internalized misogyny can shape women's thoughts and actions, even among those who identify as feminists. Through the fictional example of Sarah, a talented software engineer plagued by self-doubt, the book illustrates how societal messages can lead women to underestimate their abilities and avoid asserting themselves in professional settings.

The narrative delves into the concept of internalized misogyny, where women unconsciously adopt and reinforce sexist attitudes. This phenomenon results in conditional self-esteem, where women feel good about themselves only when meeting society's often unrealistic standards. Loewentheil emphasizes the importance of recognizing that our thoughts are not necessarily true and can be intentionally changed. This concept forms the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy, which suggests that our thoughts influence our emotions and actions.

To counteract internalized misogyny, the author recommends actively retraining one's thoughts. This involves identifying self-critical thoughts and replacing them with more constructive beliefs. The book introduces practical exercises, such as adding the phrase "how human of me" to self-critical thoughts, which helps in developing self-compassion. Loewentheil also discusses the concept of "limbic friction," the resistance felt when attempting to change ingrained thought patterns.

The book advocates for receiving rather than resisting emotions, encouraging readers to process feelings fully rather than suppressing or reacting to them. This approach helps individuals better understand the thoughts driving their emotions, thereby addressing the root of internalized misogyny. Practical techniques such as naming emotions, somatic exercises, and survival self-talk are provided to aid in this process.

A central theme in "Take Back Your Brain" is the power of thought management in reshaping one's reality. Loewentheil explains that emotions are not caused by external events but are the result of our interpretations of these events. By becoming aware of and changing these interpretations, individuals can alter their emotional responses and actions. The book introduces the thought ladder exercise, which helps readers transition from limiting beliefs to more empowering ones.

Finally, the book emphasizes the importance of reclaiming personal power. Loewentheil argues that women often underestimate their agency due to societal conditioning. She encourages readers to challenge internalized beliefs, recognize their inherent worth, and take proactive steps to achieve their goals. This process of reclaiming power not only transforms individual lives but also contributes to dismantling patriarchal structures.

"Take Back Your Brain" provides a roadmap for overcoming internalized misogyny by empowering readers to take control of their thoughts and emotions. Through practical exercises and a compassionate approach, Loewentheil offers tools for creating positive change both personally and collectively. The book's message is clear: reclaiming your brain is not just about personal growth but also about challenging societal norms and fostering a more equitable world.

[Beth Peninger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ah, patriarchy. Thanks for literally nothing. Patriarchy is the pervasive and accepted structure of the world. It's infiltrated almost every culture, definitely the developed ones, and poisoned both sexes in different ways. This book is about how it has wiggled its way into every nook and cranny of a woman's life and how, as women, we endorse its poisonous messages... unknowingly. Loewentheil has a message for every woman, "no more." We don't need to help the patriarchy any longer, we can break free from its grip and its starts with our brains.

After getting a law degree and using her powers for women's reproductive rights, Loewentheil was restless and unhappy. She started to explore why that might be in the face of her externally very successful life. She found a life coach and began to discover that it was her brain and the messages her brain was using to drive her life. Through coaching, she found freedom and a new career path. She left law and became a certified Master Coach and began to help other women figure out their brains as well. That's turned into The School of New Feminist Thought, The Feminist Self-Help Society, and the podcast UnF*ck Your Brain. This title, just released in May 2024, joins the lineup of things Loewentheil is doing to help women, you guessed it, take back their brains.

Loewentheil starts us off by explaining what she calls the Brain Gap. The differences in how men and women are taught to think about themselves — and the gap that creates inside women’s minds between what we want to believe about ourselves and how we actually think and feel. She's on a mission to help women close that gap and heal from living in a male-dominated society. This book gives a careful explanation of a component of the Brain Gap, a thorough exploration of how it has affected women, and a way to close the gap that is attainable and relatable.

I'll be honest. I was enjoying the book but somewhat unsure of it, and then suddenly, I found myself moving from borrowing it through the library to purchasing it so I would have it to refer back to again, sooner rather than later! Clearly, it resonates more than I even realized. Kara shares several bits and bobs of wisdom throughout the book that long after I finished it, I'm still "chewing the cud" consisting of those bits and bobs, even bringing one of them up in my most recent therapy session to discuss with my therapist (who asked for the name of the book upon my enthusiastic endorsement).

This title needs a couple of reads to really start to make a difference because changing thought patterns, realized or not, is hard work. One read-through of the book is kind of like a Hors d'oeuvres; a second read-through could be considered an appetizer, and subsequent read-throughs are the entrees. And honestly? This is one meal that will most likely take the rest of a woman's life to work her way through. Ah, patriarchy. Thanks for literally nothing.

[Literary Reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kara Loewentheil’s Take Back Your Brain is a compelling guide designed to help women reclaim their autonomy and challenge the constraints of patriarchy. Written by a Master Certified Life Coach, the book focuses on breaking free from the internalized social conditioning that causes women to grapple with self-doubt, anxiety, and burnout. Through a mix of practical advice and deep-rooted feminist theory, Loewentheil encourages women to dismantle the limiting beliefs that society has imposed on them.

What makes this book particularly engaging is its balance of academic depth and personal relatability. Loewentheil seamlessly weaves in autobiographical stories, which makes the content feel both approachable and relevant. By using feminist and intersectional theory, she digs into the “Voice” that many women carry, the one that second-guesses, criticizes, and undermines every action. Whether she’s discussing body image, sexuality, or self-confidence, Loewentheil provides clear insights into how societal norms have shaped these struggles and teaches women to turn inward for real, lasting self-development.

Take Back Your Brain is empowering and eye-opening and sparks essential conversations that challenge the way we view everyday experiences. It encourages readers to question ingrained sexist structures they may never have considered before. Personally, I found the book to be transformative. It shifted my perspective on how pervasive patriarchal values are in shaping not just women’s minds but the way we navigate the world. The exercises and affirmations at the end of each chapter were particularly impactful as well as it turned theoretical lessons into practical action.

While its primary aim is to help women reclaim their minds from patriarchal influence, Take Back Your Brain is just as relevant for men. It offers valuable insight into how patriarchy shapes the female experience and can help anyone become more conscious of these dynamics. Whether you’re looking to better understand yourself or broaden your perspective, this book is a powerful tool for fostering change.

[Pain in the Brain · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there ever was a roadmap to mastering your own mind, it's "Take Back Your Brain" by Kara Loewentheil.

This book isn't just a read; it's an experience, a transformative journey that I firmly believe everyone needs to embark on. Having had the incredible opportunity to be coached by Kara, I can attest that this book is a true reflection of her methodical, insightful, and life-altering approach. Her authentic personality shines through every page, making you feel like she's right there with you, guiding you through deep introspection and out towards personal freedom from the shame and anxiety that society has instilled so deeply in every one of us.

"Take Back Your Brain" is meticulously crafted to not only teach but also engage you in a way that prompts self-reflection. It’s not about skimming through; it’s about applying the critical lessons it offers.

This book encourages proactive change that begins in your own thoughts, addressing everything that might be holding you back. Kara empowers you, through clear language and actionable advice, to seize control of your thoughts and, by extension, your life.

The concepts are backed by psychological research, yet presented in a way that is accessible and relatable.

Whether you’re overwhelmed by stress, caught in the throes of perfectionism, or simply eager to have a more fulfilling life, this book serves as a crucial tool in your arsenal. Each chapter challenges you to not only think but to act, guaranteeing a shift not just in your mindset, but in your entire world.

It’s empowering, it’s insightful, and above all, it truly does equip you to Take Back Your Brain!

If you’re ready to truly transform how you interact with your thoughts and shape your reality, then this book is undeniable. Prepare to feel inspired, challenged, and ready to take on the world. A guaranteed shift awaits!

[Hallie · Rating 5 out of 5]

not to be dramatic but i think it’s imperative everyone read this book ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i have benefitted from kara’s insights on thought work, feminist theory, and changing the world through managing your own mind via her podcast unf*ck your brain for years. this book is essentially a crash course of that podcast laid out in an incredibly digestible manner.

the first part covers the key concepts of thought work, grounded in cognitive psychology and neuroplasticity — how our thoughts create our feelings which create our actions, how to bring awareness to this whole process, and how to intentionally choose what you want to think in order to create the results you want. truly anyone and everyone would benefit from these concepts, and i’m encouraged more than ever to put these learnings into practice in a deeper more consistent way in my own life.

the second part dives deep into how our society conditions our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us (primarily focused on women & those socialized as women) on topics from money to relationships to parenting to body image and how that impacts our thoughts and lives in ways we may not fully be aware of. it explores how we can start to bring more awareness to these limiting beliefs and apply the concepts of thought work to more intentionally move forward — adjusting our thoughts in order to make real change in our own lives and the world around us.

i listened to this as an audiobook, read by the author (basically a long-form version of her podcast), but plan to come back to my physical copy of the book to dive deeper into the exercises and prompts throughout.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book for all your “not enough’s” and practical coaching to give you agency to overcome them.

I especially appreciated the last chapter. I have felt so angry and overwhelmed by the big (and little) problems of our world. She encourages you to be willing to do something small and work on it anyway.

These are quotes from the last two pages of the book. Sometimes reading the end lets you know if you want to begin…

“If your brain is protesting that this isn't enough —remember that you've been socialized to be a perfectionist. You've been socialized to believe that nothing is ever enough, and you're never doing enough, and you should always be doing more and better. Which paradoxically can lead to you doing nothing at all, because you’re overwhelmed and paralyzed.” p252

Whew! So true for me.

“Our unequal and unjust society depends on you staying small. But your liberation—and the world's progress—depends on you closing your Brain Gap and learning how to take up apace. The tools In this book will help you change the thoughts society has taught you based on your gender—but they can alao be used to help you rewire the socialization you've received based on any other marginalized identity you live in or stigmatized characteristic you have.

I don't want you to use my work to become someone else. My deepest wish for you is that you use the tools you've learned in this book to become more of who you already are. Because who you already are is already enough—and when women believe they are enough, that's when they go out and change the world.” p253

Let us begin, again.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you believe that "socialization in a patriarchal society is inherently abusive to women", that you are trying to live up to unrealistic expectations put upon you by society, and that you have a disconnect between what you want to think and what you actually believe then this a a book for you. There are some concrete thought exercises that can really make a difference in how you think, which can influence how you feel and then how you act. Is every chapter going to hit perfectly? No, but you can really delve into the ones that do matter to you. As Loewntheil writes, "You can't heal a relationship with someone you hate, and that includes yourself".

One caveat - not all of her sources are great. She states "there are studies suggesting, for instance, that your emotional state when you eat impacts your digestion, nutrition, and blood sugar, so hating yourself while eating kale may not be healthier than loving yourself while eating ice cream." but her source is a diet book that looks completely disreputable to me. I would like to see a citation of the actual studies. Many of her other citations are popular articles in Teen Vogue and Time magazine, blog posts, books... She even cites an episode of the Huberman podcast which has become full pseudoscience at this point.

Read for book club.

[Clarissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is, hands down, one of the best self-help books for women I’ve ever read. Seriously, it’s like a powerful, empathetic chat with your wisest best friend who’s been through it all and wants to help you reclaim your life.

The author delves deep into the ways society and the patriarchy mess with our minds. From the moment we’re born, we’re bombarded with limiting beliefs and harmful stereotypes. This book isn’t just about identifying these issues; it’s packed with practical steps to help you unlearn the crap we've been fed and create a life on your own terms.

What I loved most is how actionable the advice is. The author doesn’t just leave you hanging with vague encouragement. Instead, she provides clear, concrete strategies to build confidence, set boundaries, and pursue your passions unapologetically. Each chapter feels like a mini workshop where you can apply what you’ve learned directly to your life.

Whether it’s tackling imposter syndrome, navigating workplace sexism, or breaking free from toxic body shame culture, the book covers it all. And it does so with such warmth and relatability. You’ll find yourself nodding along, feeling seen and understood, and most importantly, feeling empowered to make real changes.

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is a lot of good information in this book about how women have been influenced by sexism in Western social standards, and I recognize that we are in the midst of making many social changes that cause confusion. But, this book really left me feeling angry. Yes, we as women do have to do work to "get our brain back", but where is the social accountability? I am sick of all these podcasters and self-help life coach gurus filling our heads with the, "you can do it!" attitude, but no real accountability on social institutions that are quite literally built to oppress women, particularly poor, uneducated, non-white women. Loewentheil is very transparent in relaying that she has many privileges (not all of them, but many), yet seems to fail to understand that women with few privileges, resources, or opportunities massively struggle to break out of said oppression. And what kind of women succeed? The ones who play into and embrace hetero-normative, white male capitalist standards, such as a massively popular podcast and life coaching job. Thank you for trying, but let's think a little harder...

[Adriana Cloud · Rating 5 out of 5]

This booked will help you to understand why you’re struggling to reconcile all the conflicting expectations that society puts on women. Kara explains how women are socialized in a way that makes it really hard to trust ourselves on anything, which contributes to our anxiety and stress. Of course we’re anxious—we’re told we have to tick a million boxes that all contradict each other! I especially loved the chapter on perfectionism and validation. Most women I know struggle with perfectionism, and it’s such a relief to understand where that’s coming from, and what we can do about it. I’ll be buying this book as a gift to my friends, because I feel like every woman needs it! I’ve listened to Kara’s podcast for years and love her work, and this book is a great synthesis of her teachings. Highly recommend!

[Vickie Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is absolutely life changing!

Not only are there informative sections on taking back your body image, self-esteem, love life, money mindset, time, and ultimately the world, but it starts with reclaiming your brain which walks you through why you even need to do any of this.

This book isn't just talking at you, either. There are actionable steps and exercises included within the chapters to get you taking action.

My favorite section is the body image section, because I've wasted so much of my life worrying about what I look like, when in reality it's the least important thing about me!

If you feel like you're living your life for everyone but you, this is the book to teach you how to take your life back (which starts with your brain) and shows you how to live a life you can be proud of!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this along with an online group led by Crystal Hall, PhD. Hall's work is primarily dedicated to women or those who identify as women in ministry. She allowed me in because I am active, as a lay person, in programs in my church.

This book digs deep and pulls back at the patriarchal lies our society has socialized women to follow. That indicates it is not a book for everyone. If, however, you find yourself in a space like I have been in for a few years now, where you feel lost and frustrated. this book may help you unveil certain untruths that were imprinted on you as truths just because of your gender.

I found a great deal of it valid for myself and helpful to my growth through the patriarchal socialization that plagued me. It's not a single "fix," but certainly helpful. As a life coach and consultant, Loewentheil includes many real-life examples to help readers understand.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Kara and am always encouraging my friends to listen to her podcast. Delighted to have her book in hand! Personally, I'd recommend folks read Part II first to get an intelligent take on the WHY behind her thought work. The relationship, money, time, and world chapters are really great; now more than ever, I think women need to think about radical acceptance and action to preserve their sanity in this election year. The first half is a lot of setup on how to do thought work, and absolutely requires your participation to make it worthwhile. You really can't just read the questions, give it a minute think, and move on. Grab a journal and commit to doing the work, and enjoy the clarity, peace, and freedom to be found at the intersection of cognitive psychology and feminism.

[Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book does not disappoint!! so helpful and so important! It reveals how patriarchy shapes our self-critical thoughts and offers practical steps to rewire them. I particularly appreciated the blend of cognitive and feminist insights, which made the strategies feel robust and well-rounded. It’s also just a fun read! I have listened to her podcast Unf*ck Your Brain for years and it has been so helpful, and now I cannot wait to start applying the teachings in this book to my own life as well. This book is a must-read for any woman seeking to feel better in her own skin and embrace her true potential. Highly recommend!

[Eowyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sometimes I wonder what I would be like now if a book like this had been placed in my hands when I was a teenager. Sometimes I wonder what I would have be like now if my mother had received this book when she was young. Kara's approach is very intellectual and also incredibly powerful. It's worth getting the book, working through the thoughts and ideas. And really internalizing it. Your life will never be the same.

This book guides us towards the ability to truly know ourselves, identify where society has impacted our lives in ways we don't actually want, and how to live a life that's true to our own choices, true to ourselves. I really hope you read it too.