The Letters of Audre Lorde and Pat Parker 1974-1989

by Julie R. Enszer (Editor), Audre Lorde, Pat Parker

Pat Parker and Audre Lorde first met in 1969; they began exchanging letters regularly five years later. Over the next fifteen years, Lorde and Parker shared ideas, advice, and confidences through the mail. They sent each other handwritten and typewritten letters and postcards often with inserted items including articles, money, and video tapes. Sister Love: The Letters of Audre Lorde and Pat Parker 1974-1989 gathers this correspondence for readers to eavesdrop on Lorde and Parker. They discuss their work as writers as well as intimate details of their lives, including periods when each lived with cancer. Sister Love is a rare opportunity to glimpse inside the minds and friendship of two great twentieth century poets.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Poetry, Queer, LGBT, History, Memoir

111 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 2018

About the author

Julie R Enszer is a scholar and poet. Her scholarship is at the intersection of U.S. history and literature with particular attention to twentieth century U.S. feminist and lesbian histories, literatures, and cultures. By examining lesbian print culture with the tools of history and literary studies, she reconsider histories of the Women’s Liberation Movement and gay liberation. Her book manuscript, A Fine Bind: Lesbian-Feminist Publishing from 1969 through 2009, tells stories a dozen lesbian-feminist publishers to consider the meaning of the theoretical and political formations of lesbian-feminism, separatism, and cultural feminism.

Enszer is the author of two collections of poetry, Sisterhood (Sibling Rivalry Press, 2013) and Handmade Love (A Midsummer Night’s Press, 2010). She is editor of Milk & Honey: A Celebration of Jewish Lesbian Poetry (A Midsummer Night’s Press, 2011). Milk & Honey was a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award in Lesbian Poetry. She is the editor of Sinister Wisdom, a multicultural lesbian literary and art journal, and a regular book reviewer for the Lambda Book Report and Calyx.

Reviews

[K · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to not tear up when thinking about the friendship these amazing poets had. Audre and Pat’s letters show that the more things change, the more they stay the same. The care that was put into compiling these letters is noticeable and appreciated. I would recommend reading Zami before reading this.

[Kitty]

I felt like it really wasn’t my business and I wish I had known if these women consented to have their letters shared like this. Maybe I’m being precious but it just seems so entitled of the editor and reader (myself). These women were so wonderful.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 5 out of 5]

INCREDIBLE. The sisters had so much to give and shared a deep love and mutual respect for each other that we are so lucky to experience. They truly embodied that sister love! RIP to both women, artistic, transformative, educators, passionate, smart, travelled, and expansive. I have more to share, but I’ll leave it there.

[Darnell Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enszer's "Sister Love" is a gift. The archive, which is often a type of burial ground where the lived experiences of Black queer and trans people are missing, can also be a site of extraordinary discovery. The letters shared between two iconic Black lesbian poets, Lorde and Parker, reveals the complexity and beauty that abounds in the lives of the otherwise dispossessed. In them, as Mecca Jamilah Sullivan, opines in the introduction, are traces of friendship, comradeship, love, vocation, sickness and overcoming.

[Yusef Bushara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Few things feel like love the way letters can, so I beg that we bring more love in to this world and write more letters. Thank you to Ms Audre Lorde and Pat Parker for reminding me of this and the next thing: what I’ve written in my head will never be read. So write, and love.

[M. Ainomugisha · Rating 4 out of 5]

These letters are deeply and presently intimate, also transparent.
Like Pat said about Audre’s prose, these journals are the most vulnerable parts of their work as poets.
The way they held each other during a time of immense pain brought tears as I read the collection.
There’s a profoundness in this; myriads of hope. Highly recommend for anyone going through a hard time and/or can’t get their hands on ‘The Cancer Journals’ by Audre Lorde.

[lezhypatia · Rating 4 out of 5]

It does feel odd to give a rating to a collection of private letters; but at the same time this book has been so impactful for me.

[Kaylin Smida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ahhh what a wonderful wonderful collection, it truly feels like an honor to be able to read their letters. To see the ups and downs of a friendship over time. To see these women help each other through the toughest times in their lives. To see the dates between letters and recognize the beauty in sustaining a long lasting connection. Seeing them get annoyed at each other for how long it’s taken them to respond. Watching as they both get new partners.

It’s just fascinating to look at their lives like that, to have evidence that these women lived and loved and laughed and cared for each other, and the world around them. Watching them each struggle with depression and struggle through cancer and their changing bodies.

This was honestly beautiful. I teared up at the end. Obviously I knew what the ending was going into it, it’s real life. But that made it a tough read at times, watching that date get closer and closer. Watching them talk about their children growing up and knowing they wouldn’t be there to see more of it. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

These letters were just so raw and vulnerable, I wish there were more. But it’s a wonderful window into their lives and friendship. I’m happy I read these. They’ve inspired me to do more about my own long distance friendships, and even the non-long distance ones. It’s never too late to show up for people you care for.

Rest in peace Pat and Audre. The world was made better because you were in it.

[Sunny · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading the correspondence between Pat Parker and Audre Lorde. I was struck by how their letters traced such familiar ground for me. I know many sick and disabled queer people of color who have offered each other similar support and comfort and advice for surviving a hostile world. From discussing breast cancer to supporting each other's literary efforts, these two icons were lifting each other up in the same ways my QTIPOC community do today.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gorgeous collection, which makes both of their early deaths even more devastating.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

V cute

[Reem · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t even know what to say, other than please find the time to read this. As a black woman and lover of people, writing, life and love itself, it felt like nothing short of a privilege to have a glimpse into the friendship of these two extraordinary people. There is nothing more beautiful in this life than friendship. And to be able to feel how much two people can love each other through a short collection of letters speaks both to their talent for words and to the volume of their love. Instantly cherished. Will revisit often.

[Shirleen R · Rating 5 out of 5]

TC

[Kaitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

These gorgeous letters from two giants of poetry are edited to balance the nuts-and-bolts of everyday life with intimate and profound revelations about living and working as Black feminist lesbians in the wider world. Reading these provides a texture to the working and loving lives of both Parker and Lorde, as well as the unease of idol-worship in mentor relationships that Pat is specifically trying to avoid. As in both of their work, these letters interweave the importance of continually seeking creative and erotic satisfaction amidst the struggles of finding the time to write, publish, reach out to editors, engage in organizing, and for both of them too, caring for children. Enszer has carefully edited these so we feel the major highs and lows of their lives, as well as know who all of the people mentioned in the letters are in relation to Parker and Lorde. Reading this book is like having a front-row-seat to the highest of what friendship can aspire to be: rigorous, loving, tender, playful and revolutionary. Some of my favourite lines, though it was hard to choose:

To Audre from Pat, in 1986: “Your ears must have been burning love, cause you were definitely on my brain.”

To Pat from Audre, in 1985: “I have always loved you Pat, and wanted for you those things you wanted deeply for yourself.”

From Audre to Pat about her decision to begin chemotherapy: “ANY DECISION WE MAKE ABOUT OUR OWN BODIES AFTER CONSIDERING FACTS IS THE RIGHT DECISION!” 


[Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A potent, beautiful read that really turned on the waterworks. I was grateful for its introduction by Mecca Jamilah Sullivan, which was full of moments like this: “Reading writers' letters is the best kind of eavesdropping. It brings the rush and sweetness of hidden listening—the secret drinking-in of voices children thrive on, clinging to doorways, palms slick, ready to learn what they have yearned and yearned to know. The hiddenness somehow makes the listening better: these words are not meant for us but for a world before and beyond us, and so each syllable is a gem. The words demand we reach for them and that we grow in the reaching.”

[Kirsten · Rating 3 out of 5]

[2018] Lovely to see how these two smart, talented, gay, black, women poets supported each other in their creative work, their activism, and life in general. It really comes through in their letters and I really liked what was there. However, there wasn't much there. The letters were relatively few over the fourteen years (1974 to 1988) and mostly sporadic. There were often big gaps and many references to places and events that aren't explained (although the footnotes help with that a bit), so I'm left with more questions than answers. A more comprehensive biography of the two of them could be pretty great.

[cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVE. THIS. BOOK. The opportunity to see the brilliance, the love and tenderness, the honesty and vulnerability, and the revolutionary ideas shared between these two iconic Black lesbian poets and thinkers rocked my world. Their letters are delightful and authentic and make me want to go back and re-read everything they wrote - all the poems and the essays and the words of love and revolution.

[Jes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Five stars for Audre Lorde and Pat Barker, but the book was VERY short. There were a few good substantive letters in there but also a lot of them being like “ok I started this but actually there’s too much to write in a letter, so I’m just going to call you and talk for a few hours.”

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, stunning, fascinating, and so sad (the end).

[Carolee Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved Lorde’s Zami for years and years, but had never read anything of Pat Parker, so starting this series of letters was an introduction not only to their relationship but to Parker’s personality as well. Things get incredibly poignant around the time it becomes clear how needful they are of one another, and how notable the gaps in correspondence are; knowing they were both newly struggling with cancer at the time lends the “please write” exhortations so much power. These were two women, dear to one another, comrades and sisters, orbiting in a series of strange and sometimes hostile environments. But their love and care for one another is palpable. And the feeling that one must make time, while there is still time, is so beautifully intense.

[Bogi Takács]

I really enjoyed this. A wonderful volume of correspondence, I only wish there was more of it!

My review:

http://www.bogireadstheworld.com/nonf...

Source of the book: Print review copy from publisher

[Letlhogonolo Mokgoroane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book brought me such joy. In its pages, I got to experience Audre and Pat’s friendship through their own words. This friendship was magical. It was filled so much love, honesty, loyalty, encouragement and commitment. It is a model of Black Queer solidarity. Audre Lorde encourages Pat to be the best person that she could be. Always urging Pat to write her brilliance into history. Pat Parker inspired Audre Lorde in multiple ways. One of the pieces in Sister Outsider EYE to EYE was inspired by her relationship with Pat. Their letters speak honestly about the state of the nation in the 70s and 80s but also about the womxn’s movement and the erasure of certain Black lesbians in the large queer community. The letters are also intellectual musings about future works that these womxn went on to publish. This book a reference point to find the works of Audre Lorde and Pat Parker. I know I will return to it to book often to appreciate the words, to capture the advice and, if only for a moment, to sit between Audre Lorde and Pat Parker and listen to them speak to each other.

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I read Audre Lorde's nonfiction, and I don't think I've ever read Pat Parker - this makes me really want to go back and (re)read everything!

What struck me most reading these is where they're situated in time, and how much like today it feels. When I was in high school in the early 90s, Zami was one of the only queer books I had available to me in the library, so I read it multiple times. It felt like ancient history to my 16yo self. That shaped my perception of Lorde as a writer, because I've always mistakenly thought of her as writing in the 50s. So reading these letters in the (very contemporary-feeling) 7os and 80s was eye-opening... they felt so near in terms of chronology, history, lineage, community, everything.

My only real complaint is that I wish it were longer - I would have loved so much more.

[J Kuria]

How does one rate a collection of someone's letters? I don't know but this was a nice peek into what seems like a wonderful friendship.

[Chyna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read

[Jalisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The fact that we're writing these letters to each other is a triumph, Pat, I feel it and I want you to feel it too. You been doing what you came to do, sweetheart, and I think you changed the world."

This collection of letters between Pat Parker and Audre Lorde meant more to me then I could have imagined. To get to peek into the private insecurities, trials, and triumphs of two women that have shaped black feminism and the way I see the world was a rare and indescribable gift. It lifted up the power of friendship between black women as sources of solace, encouragement and a sometimes needed kick in the butt. I can't wait to gift this to all the women in my life whom I get the great pleasure of calling friend.

[Nupur Sinha · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most beautiful kind of love is the one being expressed through smallest of gestures.
From sharing the pasta being eaten for dinner to the advancement of technologies, from discussing the problems society posed on lesbians to discussing the life threatening disease they both had, the simplicity and truth of the love shared by Parker and Lorde will touch you, deep down.
In a rather small collection of letters, you will be compelled to move to the world of their friendship. The longing they both had to stay a constant in the lives of each other is so exhilarating that it will leave you sometimes with a smile and sometimes with wet eyes.
A must read, if you have that one friend, with whom you look forward to share your whole life.

[Lyzette Wanzer]

I finished this book this morning. I purchased this directly from editor Julie Enszer at the 2020 AWP Conference in San Antonio. I feel like I learned a whole new set of facts about Lorde from reading this, and these letters also served as my introduction to Pat Parker. Two warriors taken from us way too soon. Be sure not to skip the footnotes; if you want to get a full-circumference view of this correspondence, and situate it properly in history, you will want to read every footnote when it appears, as well as the Editor's note at the close. I highlighted this line from one of Parker's letters:

"I realize that I have allowed myself to accept the myth of 'strong Black woman' so much that I am actually afraid when the child in me appears."

[Sacha Loir · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un recueil touchant de lettres intimes entre deux femmes noires, lesbiennes et poètes inspirantes, qui restent malheureusement toujours trop ignorées aujourd’hui : Audre Lorde et Pat Parker.

« J'ai passé pas mal de temps à essayer de comprendre les raisons derrière tout cela, pourquoi je suis toujours si en colère. Tout ce temps, j'ai cru que j'avais survécu à ce système, que j'avais réussi à me contrôler, et cette maladie me semble le signe clair que j'ai échoué. Je suis certaine que je laisse trop de ma rage se rediriger contre moi et, pourtant, je ne sais pas comment faire autrement. J'ai essayé de la gérer avec l'écriture, le sport, l'alcool, l'amour. Je ne vois pas ce que j'aurais pu faire de plus. »

Extrait d’une lettre de Parker envoyée à Audre - sur son cancer du sein

[Joshunda Sanders · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genuinely one of the most beautiful and essential books I've ever read. Any student of Black women writers and of Black women's friendships, certainly anyone who loves us and values us our health and wellness should read this. It's Audre Lorde and Pat Parker at their most true, the intimacy of friendship between women laid bare, the love and humor so sweet it will make you ensure that you have at least one friend to whom you would write such a letter, possibly a poem, to ask them to stay in the world and to remind them, to warn them, to watch out for anyone who tries to quell their joy or make them smaller in any way.