Basted

by Abby Hunter

A spicy time in the kitchen can include more than just seasonings.

Thanksgiving is meant to be a joyous time of year. But, when I catch my boyfriend cheating, it’s anything but. After watching that scumbag leave the restaurant with his sidepiece, I find comfort where I always do: with a hot, meaty meal.
And then I meet him: Master Baster and his two brothers, Pip and Jet. Three turkey basters completely devoted to my pleasure. What more could a heartbroken girl ask for on Thanksgiving?

Content Considerations: Basted is a paranormal romance with a curvy FMC who finds love wherever she wants, and sentient turkey basters who won't quit until their new woman is bred.

Genres: Holiday, Paranormal Romance, Novella, Thanksgiving, Smut, Short Stories, Monster Romance

Unknown Binding

Published November 4, 2024

Reviews

[Becky Hallett]

I’m going to hell after that one

[Grapie Deltaco · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never want to read the word “juices” ever again


CW: explicit sexual content (including turkey baster group sex and heavy inclusion food/meat fluids), recurring mentions of disordered eating, infidelity, fatphobia and recurring body image issues

[Katie (spellboundbooks_) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Have you ever walked into thanksgiving and saw those basters filled with turkey gravy and wished ... man these things should have tentacles and gang bang me until they impregnant me with their juices??

No...

Okay well for anyone who has had this thought then THIS is the book for you...

"Are you ready to be spit-roasted like a proper bird?"

TBH this one was not my jam (no pun intended). From the Master Baster to the slippery thanksgiving juices being shot everywhere... I think I lost my appetite for thanksgiving food.

"Please Master, I need you to baste me."

This was a clever sentient object romance that had me cackling at the thought of just how that would even work. One thing these books never explain is how this works with family and friends after they end up together. You're telling me your family just accepted the fact you live with three basters with tentacles that impregnated you with a baby the color of a fresh turkey?

"You're perfect for stuffing. And getting stuffed is so much fun."

This was 69 pages of pure basting chaos and being thanksgiving themed I knew I had to read it before the holiday. A 3-star read for me. Not my favorite sentient object romance but curiosity killed the cat and what not.

[Brianna Banes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Is this a Pulitzer? No, but was it entertaining and made me giggle? Yes

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't imagine being comfortable with all the juices in this book. It made me feel like taking a shower just reading about it all.

This could easily have been a horror story.

[Zoe]

I need the memory of this power-washed out of my brain

[Breanna Guerrero · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’ve finally found it. My limit.

[Bella Shields · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was curious, okay?

[Shay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just don't know how to feel about this one. I am confused and have ssssoooo many questions. Yet I'm not sure I want any of the answers?
Also a picture of the family at the end would have been nice...I definitely have way to many questions that, that picture could answer.
In short do I regret reading this book? No. Do I regret the questions I have? Yes.

[Avery Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

BROTHER EUUUHHHH!!! This was one of the most graphic and messy sentient object smut books I’ve ever read. It’s filthy and I ate it up. This woman knows too many synonyms for sexual acts. It was 5% plot, 95% getting holes filled with meaty juices 🥵

Spice 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️.5/5
TLDR: the master basters implant their meaty babies in this “book”

[Maria · Rating 1 out of 5]

Normally I reserve one star for a DNF, but this was less than 100 pages so I pushed through. If I hear the words “juices” or “meaty” ever again, it will be too soon.

[Jess Brady · Rating 4 out of 5]

I knew when the blurb started off with "A spicy time in the kitchen can include more than just seasonings." that Basted by Abby Hunter was going to be the Thanksgiving book of the season.

And it was...

Our girl Hazel got the crap end of the stick when it comes to boyfriends. Baby girl decks herself out to be the perfect Thanksgiving treat for her good for nothing chef boyfriend. On arrival to surprise him she finds him stuffing something that is not the turkey. Heartbroken, she decides to eat her feelings because she can't stand going back to their flat after what she witnessed. Except she gets much more than she expected when she encounters Master Baster and his brothers, Pip and Jet.

What happens from there is full of an assortment of different juices that definitely have me second guessing my upcoming Thanksgiving meal. This story was both enjoyable and questionable as any good sentient romance should be. Would recommend and giggle along with the next reader as they meet Hazel and her basters.

And to the readers who said this book was "unbelievable" yeah, that is kind of the point. It is fun. It is weird. At times a little cringy but that doesn't take away from the sheer entertainment this book brings. Take the baster out of your bum (or don't) and enjoy the story for what it is.

[Angyl]

no review needed lol
if you wanna know what happens in this book: https://youtu.be/CQubaqmtxA0

[Melina · Rating 1 out of 5]

That was uncalled for. 🤣

[Lia Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unhinged Book Madness - Day 5

Sorry I just didn’t like this one!! We got almost no story and all of the book was spice. I think I could have liked it if there was actual plot, but alas it was all cringing and spice.

Rating:
- Unhingedness: 7 (Master Baster)
- Story Structure: 1 (no backstory)
- Spice Level: 9
- Would I recommend: No

[Jordan Baca · Rating 1 out of 5]

☠️

[Thatguyjae]

I have no words. None.

[Jules · Rating 1 out of 5]

No just no. I never want to hear the word juices again. I’d like the last 40 min of my life back thanks

[Elise Theel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was laughing, scratching my head, and wanting to shower all in one 👀🙈🤣
Me trying to figure out how she managed positions at first 🤷🏽‍♀️
And “Master Baster”, I laughed so hard that I snorted and woke up my husband 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also, should I check myself in? Because that happy ending made me smile 👀

[ladybreww]

The word "juices" appears 110 times over 59 pages

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a time to be alive, when you can spend an hour reading about sexy Thanksgiving.

[Kayla Tremblay]

No idea what I just read anyway Happy Thanksgiving 🦃

[Alicia Ceasar · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author really cooked with this one.

I’m always going to give a sentient object romance a five star rating because they keep me entertained.

[kimblah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I joined a dramatic reading of this book with some friends of mine, where one of our friends read this to us (with their hilarious commentary). I was shook to my core. Of course, I shamefully had memories of this book resurface this Thanksgiving. I almost couldn’t eat any turkey.

Don’t read this. Unless it’s with your friends & you guys make it a joke. Even then, it will haunt you (probably forever).

[Sonja Charters · Rating 5 out of 5]

What on earth have I just encountered!!?
This was the craziest, funniest, spiciest and dare I say it tastiest quick read ever!

Let me explain!
So I've been seeing a lot on booksta about these shifter and sentient dark romance reads - and I absolutely had to get my hands on one and see what all the hype was about.
And what better place to go than to the lovely Abby - an author I've read before and loved.

Well, I've been there and I've done it now and what an experience it was!
This was definitely something completely different to my usual reads - and I've read a lot of all kinds of genres.

We meet the lovely Hazel, who in a bid to spice things up with her boyfriend, heads to his restaurant - dressed as a sexy turkey!
What she finds is that his late nights working, maybe haven't been so wholesome as he made out!
And this is where our glorious basters come into play - and oh do they know just how to play!

Now, there's not much more to say about the plot of this one - except that Hazel certainly gets her guys... (and a whole load more!)
This grabs your attention right from the start and had me completely captivated and entertained to the very last sentence.
Did I get it - absolutely not!
But was it brilliant - 100%!

The writing style was genius, encompassing everything a spicy read needs and blending it with the food references to perfection.

I would definitely say go into this on an empty stomach though - and I'm super glad that I'm not about to celebrate Thanksgiving - I definitely need a breather before I'll be cooking another roast - that's for sure!

[Lexi · Rating 1 out of 5]

NO 🙅🏻‍♀️

[Tegan Arnold · Rating 3 out of 5]

My face reading this 😟🫣😖
I feel like I need a shower… and not in the good way 😂 too many “juices” comments and pregnancy trope 😐

[Kersten, Vol 1 (Kert) · Rating 2 out of 5]

if I ever hear the word “juices” again it’ll be too soon

[Cecelia · Rating 1 out of 5]

i’ve read a lot of crazy shit but omg this book was just disturbing.

[Simone]

I never want to hear the word juices again