The Things We Lose in the Dark

by Sayword B. Eller

Sexual abuse survivor Zedwynne doesn't need anyone. Except when she wakes up from a failed suicide attempt with nowhere else to go but back into the loving arms of an overbearing mother and overprotective sister, and back to the town that almost destroyed her.

Despite best efforts to keep her head down and avoid people, Zedwynne becomes invested in the lives of many through work at a local diner, and her therapy group of fellow second chancers. As these relationships grow and become more complicated, Zed begins to realize life isn't about what happens to you, but what you do with what's left.

As she starts to figure out how to handle what she’s been left with, Zedwynne learns the man who abused her is dying, and she must decide if she'll let him die without facing what he's done, or confront him and risk upending her precarious progress.

Content child sexual abuse, attempted suicide, suicidal ideation, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and terminal illness.

318 pages, Paperback

Published October 15, 2024

About the author

Sayword B. Eller is an upmarket fiction writer living in central, Arkansas with her husband and tabby cat. She holds an MFA from Southern New Hampshire University. Her debut THE THINGS WE LOSE IN THE DARK was published October 15, 2024.

Reviews

[Caitlin Moss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hauntingly beautiful, The Things We Lose in the Dark, is a tale of overcoming, confrontation, and healing.

After a failed suicide attempt, Zed is forced to live with the very family that denied her trauma and abuse for years. 😫

With vibes like Euphoria meets Shameless, and notes of My Dark Vanessa and We Are Water, Things We Leave in the Dark is a gritty story of hope.

[Tobie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Things We Lose in the Dark is a heart-wrenching, honest look at things we'd rather turn our heads away from. Zed, an SA survivor must recover from a su!c!de attempt with the family who allowed her to be harmed mentally, physically, and emotionally for years. Zed's recovery is threatened when she's forced to make the decision of allowing a dying man peace or ensuring he faces the harm he's caused. This book is a journey of healing that delivers triumph for the survivor. Check triggers before reading!

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haunting and beautiful. Eller masterfully weaves a story filled with trauma and hope that tackles difficult topics head on. A honest look at SA and the family that denied it, Eller approaches this trauma with a grace and gentleness that allows readers to get fully immersed in the life of Zed. A story about recovery, finding oneself after the lowest of lows, and forgiveness, The Things We Lose in the Dark will have you feeling a rollercoaster of emotions and rooting for Zed until the very end.

[Kerry Chaput · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this as an arc and let me tell you, the story blew me away. I read it in a weekend and it left me feeling so much emotion. Zed exits recovery after a suicide attempt under one condition: she must return to the care of the family that allowed her lifelong abuse. This book is honest and gritty, and handles the issue of SA with such care. You get so very close to the MC without being traumatized by her past. Such a beautiful book. Highly recommend.

[Adele Holmes · Rating 5 out of 5]

In concise, provocative prose, Sayword B. Eller escorts the reader into the life of an adult living in the ashes of her stolen childhood. The Things We Lose in the Dark is a survivor’s story—necessarily devastating, visceral, and candid. Important.

A character driven novel, the protagonist Zed is at once exasperating and relatable. You’ll alternatingly cheer her on, chide her, and be embarrassed for her, But you’ll never want her to give up in the quest to free herself of the chains of self-righteous anger, guilt, and shame that she’s cloaked herself in after years of being gaslit and sexually abused.

Will she accept the love and support of her estranged family, or will she descend further into the grave of self-destruction she’s dug for herself? Is it possible for revenge to make her whole?

*I received an arc of this novel in exchange for an unbiased review.

[Tanya Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunning novel I had the pleasure of reading an advance copy. The story deals with challenging topics but the author is a master at framing them gently while immersing the reader deeply into the life of Zedwynne Skinner. You'll feel all the emotions with this one and I can't recommend it enough.