Finding Delaware

State of Us #1

by Bree Wiley

𝘖𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥...

Taylor
Only two things matter to me in this shitty freestyle motocross and my best friend.
They’re my only escape from my father’s fists, but one slip in junior high almost changed everything. I confessed a secret to a beautiful boy, and I’ve been punishing him—and myself—ever since.

I can’t have Huckslee the way I want, so I take from him in the only way I can—with violence. When my mother wants back into my life, and I’m forced to move in with the object of my obsession, the lines between hate and desire begin to blur. I’m not sure we’ll survive each other.

Huckslee
High school is hell when your worst enemy knows your darkest secret.
To everyone else, I’m the perfect swim team captain, football running back, and the Bishop’s golden boy. But beneath the surface, I’m hiding desires only one person knows—my bully, my tormentor, my crush. And starting tomorrow, my new stepbrother.

Taylor has wielded my secret like a weapon for years, making my life a nightmare. Now, he’ll be living right down the hall. Each encounter with him cracks my facade a little more. How long can I wear this mask before it shatters completely?


Finding Delaware is a full-length enemies-to-lovers MM stepbrother romance containing themes and situations not intended for readers under the age of 18. Both characters are consenting adults. This story features two broken boys, found family, slowburn to spice and a guaranteed HEA.

Genres: M M Romance, Enemies To Lovers, Romance, Sports, Sports Romance, LGBT, Contemporary

682 pages, Paperback

First published October 21, 2024

Reviews

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 3 out of 5]

See, the issue with making your MC do despicable, unforgivable things is that sometimes, the reader won't forgive him. The grovel in this book starts 40% in and it's still not enough to change my mind on Taylor.

I'm convinced that this was so long in the hope that if the basic bitch apologies and justifications didn't work, time would have us forgetting all the fuckery Taylor's been up to.

Bitch, I didn't forget.

I've never really got the 'nobody can hurt him but me' thing, and this book takes it the extra mile. I get stepbrothers who have a history of antagonizing each other. I get squabbling. I even get a few physical altercations.

Breaking the other's arm though? He'd not even done anything, really. Just tried to protect himself against the other threatening to out him to his dad. It's not romantic. It's bullying.

“Maybe I can help?”

🤦🏾‍♀️This guy broke your arm. I hate everything about this situation. It's so disturbing. On the one hand we have Taylor, who has been abused by his father all his life and says he hates him but acts just like him.

And then we have Huck, who has liked him for ages even though he shouldn't, trying to humanize him and rationalize wanting to forgive him for the terrible thing(s) he'd done.

“So your dad is homophobic.”
Taylor nods grimly. “Yep. With a capital ‘H’.”
“He’s where you get it from, then,”

Whack him for me.

'It felt like it came naturally to hold and kiss him like we were just two ordinary people sharing a moment.'

The moment in question? Near drowning...Kiss waterboarding? I don't even know what to call it.

Shoving someone's head underwater until they almost pass out then pulling them out just in time to kiss them(repeatedly).....is supposed to be hot?

Am I vanilla? Am I a wet blanket? Am I just too old for what the kids are into? I'm so confused.

Oh, and he outs him in jealousy. Knowing how deathly afraid he is of how his father will react. Nah, Taylor is too much like his father to be redeemable.

How can the reason for your first suicide attempt also be your one true love? This is heinous. I don't know if there's a grovel good enough to fix this.

I didn't WANT there to be a grovel that makes me reverse my feelings on Taylor. This guy takes 'nobody hurt him but me' too far. It's a challenge. And every single time, he beats his prior personal best. I feel sick.

Oh, and he beat up Huck's dad too. 💀I don't know if the author was trying to craft the worst MC imaginable because if so, it was a success. No crime uncommitted.

I hate apologies of circumstance. Are you even really sorry if it doesn't occur to you to apologize until you're forced to be in each other's lives again?

But even worse? I hate abusers who 'forgive themselves'.

'I fucking deserve closure.'
Coming from the aggressor? The gumption. The jokes write themselves, honestly.

The tattoo was a fucking stroke of genius though, I'll give him that.

In all fairness, though, Taylor tries. And tries. And tries. I guess I'm just hard to please because, honestly? I saw the effort. But nothing was big enough to reverse my dislike of him.

I want to be clear that there's a valiant attempt made to redeem Taylor.

He was basically a different person for the latter half of the book. Yet. I guess I'm just not sold on the idea that people deserve forgiveness just because they've changed —or even if they show that they're different. Some things are just hard for me to get past.

But hey, Huckslee's sold—so I guess fuck what I think.

Let's take a moment to reflect on what a heinous name that is, too. Man never stood a chance.

So here's my dilemma. The writing in this book is exceptional.

To the point that I couldn't DNF even though I really hated Taylor and didn't want to experience his redemption arc.

And it's a debut? Yeeish.

I'm not going to lie. I'm really conflicted between rating the writing and rating the romance because my thoughts are diametrically opposed.

Had I not hated Taylor, I'd give this a 4. But I can't do that with a book where I genuinely hate one MC (yes, even though he was a kid. Yes, even though he was also abused)

So I'm going with a 3.

What I will say, though? It's a really good book. If you're the forgiving kind.

As I said before, it appears I'm only forgiving when there's a bit of revenge involved.

Huckslee was just the understanding victim.

#StopForgivingPeopleForFree

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 2 out of 5]

MM Romance
Stepbrothers
2.5 Stars ⭐️

I think when most people see a book is over 600 pages they run in the opposite direction but when I see it and then see that the tropes are coming of age, right person wrong time and second chances with a lot of angst? I’m going to pick that book up so fast. Every single time. And then to see arc reviewers comparing this to Wrath, Will&Way and Garron Park?? How could I even resist? I can’t and I couldn’t and when I saw it released, you bet I dropped everything I was reading and listening to and picked it up. But I wish I would have waited to see reviews that weren’t just arc reviews because while part 1 hooked me, parts 2-3 killed any enthusiasm I had towards the characters and it was a struggle to finish. I’m sorry to anyone I told to read this when I was at 22% 😭🫶🏻

So this is a debut and I think for a debut it was better than most I’ve been picking up lately because there weren’t typos and the writing style itself was rather addictive for awhile however this book had a lot of structuring issues and there was a lot of things happening off page that were then summarized in the POVs that really affected how connected I felt to the characters. There are 3 parts and part 3 felt like it was written by a completely different author and is the reason I’m rating this book so low but the issues for me started in part 2 when all the angst from part 1 abruptly stopped and really important events weren’t happening on page. There was a 4 year time jump from part 1 to 2 so when part 2 starts, all of the trauma from part 1 felt swept under the rug especially because the person causing most of the problems in part 1, Taylor, had gone to therapy and gotten his life together off page and the summaries I got from his POV were not enough for me and I wanted to see something in real time even if it was through a diary entry or a therapy appointment. A lot fucking happened in those 4 years for none of it to be on page. And as I kept reading I noticed that this was a pattern whenever something big happened, that the follow up to it would be summarized in the next chapter and we’d be like 3 weeks out from when the event happened. This choice made me feel very disconnected from everything going on and is ultimately why I checked out around 70% which appears to be my time of death curse in most books lately and I found this book such a chore to finish. It didn’t help that a lot of the storylines were never fully wrapped up or even mentioned again and some of them were huge plot points!!

My biggest issue with this book though is that I never felt a connection between Huckslee and Taylor even though they both liked to tell me in their summarized POVs how they were each other’s first loves in high school 👀 (they weren’t imo, they weren’t even friends) or how hot they thought the other was (signs of a long lasting bond 🙄) or how they’ve loved each other for years (riiiight…) but then on page there were no moments between them that made me feel these sentiments especially in part 2. And I needed something, anything that made me feel like they were endgame but I just couldn’t get there and because this book has a strong found family vibe, I ended up connecting more with the friend group than I did with either main character. I cared more about the friend’s relationships than I did about Taylor or Huckslee and if they ever figured their shit out which took wayyy too long imo. But I still had hopes in part 2 that part 3 was going to give me moments between the two of them they deserved and that we as readers deserved for all the other glaring issues thus far but it wasn’t meant to be because part 3 was really, really odd.

Up until part 3, this had been a slow burn in terms of the physical relationship between them. There were a few hand jobs here and there, kissing and a real violent blowjob but there hadn’t been any true intimacy between these boys and while I do think the author wrote some creative scenes, I didn’t feel like they matched up with what we knew about the characters. I was super surprised when Huckslee started acting like some kind of daddy dom that was punishing his brat when that was never the dynamic between them before. I’m all for kinky shit but it didn’t feel like it fit with these characters and while I liked the first sex scene, I was less enthused by the next chapter summarizing all the shit they did to each other after that off page. Maybe if some of that had been shown, then their kinky sex later on would have made more sense? But I was already mostly checked out by the time they started fucking because I didn’t feel like they had any chemistry between them so this may be why I felt the scenes just didn’t make sense.

I had so many issues with part 3 I’d be writing a novel trying to explain them all but what ruined this book for me besides not caring about the couple was how unfinished it ultimately felt. There were a lot of plot lines that were never wrapped up or brought up again. Huckslee came home for only one reason and that reason was never mentioned again. Granted I hated the character it was about but some follow-up would have been nice. I also didn’t understand why Huckslee chose what he did for his career. It was part of his fake persona and he didn’t even like it and I was totally confused when the author made him do it anyway. I swear it was just put in there to have that corny af end scene.

Since I loved the found family aspect and I connected more to the group of friends than anyone else I was disappointed to not have any resolution between two of the characters that had been dating. I also loved Xed and Matty for most of the book and couldn’t wait for their own story but Matty did something pretty unforgivable near the end that has me wondering if I’ll ever pick it up. I will definitely wait on reviews this time before trying any other books by this author though. I read 684 pages and I felt no connection between the main couple and it makes me wonder wtf I even read. A lot of summaries of shit happening off page is all I can come up with.

I hate rating this so low when I had such high hopes but there are so many more things that happened in part 3 that just angered me or weren’t dealt with the right way and I just can’t find the will to put it at 3 stars like I thought I would. I left the events intentionally vague so I didn’t have to put spoilers on because if I had started ranting I never would have shut up and this review would have been longer than the book 😂 I also feel like this review is a mess but so was the book so it’s probably fitting. As for all the books this was compared to? I only really thought they applied in part one and even then it was a stretch. The problem with saying a book feels like a mash up of other books is that people will have certain expectations and I really wish for this author’s sake that hadn’t of been done.

[kaye taz · Rating 5 out of 5]

6 ⭐️
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5
Format: ebook

“‘This can be like neutral ground or something. A fake place. Like…Delaware.’ … ‘Out here, nothing has to exist. No fights. Just us. Just Taylor and Huckslee.’”

Ella James’s Wrath meets Nordika Night’s Garron Park meets Jessie Walker’s Where There’s a Will/If There’s a Way in this hauntingly beautiful but raw friends-to-enemies-to-stepbrothers-to-lovers epic romance novel.

“Fuckslee” Huckslee Davis and “Taylor fucking Tottman” not only don’t get along but can’t be in each other’s vicinity without fighting. Lucky for them and everyone around them, Huckslee’s dad and Taylor’s mom are about to get married and move Tay into the room across from Huck’s. Page one and we’re immediately thrust into yet another verbal sparring-turned-physical brawl between our main characters, causing both of them to turn up to their parent’s wedding wearing each other’s marks. When I say bully romance, I mean bully romance. Taylor’s attacks came in the form of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse, sometimes even bordering on psychological torture. There weren’t many lines he wouldn’t cross. And the thing is, Huckslee was as addicted to it as Taylor was.
↳“There's something twisted about the way I yearned for his attention, even if the attention I got was all bruises and closed fists. How I avoided him, knowing he'd seek me out because I wanted the fucking chase. I just got good at lying to myself about it.”

Over the course of the next several months, Taylor and Huck come to blows, come to stalemates, come to peace offerings, and, once, Huckslee even comes on Taylor’s hand. The push and pull really starts to set in strong and we get the most delicious tension and all the “will they/won’t they?” vibes. Except things come to a head and Taylor finally goes too far, effectively pushing Huck away for good; bringing us to quite a big timeskip. When they finally see each other again, they’re back to square one and at each other’s throats once more. The author did such a phenomenal job making sure that the “enemies” elements of this story never felt forced or repetitive. I’m super picky about the enemies to lovers trope but everything in this book absolutely worked for me and was believable. I just really resonated with their love story and found myself constantly getting emotional along with the characters. When Huck and Taylor were on the outs, I felt it like a physical ailment.
↳”He's a whole stranger to me now. And even though I'm surrounded by my friends, it makes me feel so damn lonely. Because even if they know me better than anyone... nobody knows me like Huck does. Well, did.“

While little moments snuck in here and there earlier on in the story, this book is very much a slowburn, which I think is most appropriate for a bully romance. There was a lot of glorious groveling, especially on Taylor’s part, and also a good amount of help from mental health professionals for both characters. You can see them start to sort through their issues in much more responsible ways when they come back together. Of course, they’re still Taylor and Huckslee at their core so they still constantly mess up and do stupid stuff, but we watch them mature and grow more and more throughout the book. What never seems to change is their codependency and possessiveness over each other, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Watching them get jealous and claim each other was everything. But mostly I just loved seeing them actually address their pasts and work through their issues rather than ignore them and move on like I’ve seen in so many other books.
↳”I want to take it away, all of it. Every negative emotion that ever came between us, every bruise and every scar. All of his guilt, all of mine. If I could, I'd crawl inside his brain and change the story, perhaps make it one where our friendship morphed naturally into love over time instead of the twisted monster it became.”

Let’s address the spice in this book, because it takes a lot for me to rate anything 5/5. Not only is the sexual chemistry between Huck and Taylor magma-level hot, every scene of them together is downright filthy. Our sweet Huckslee Davis is a dominant freak in bed, and Taylor is his very willing target to take out all his stress and frustration on. Now when they test limits with each other and leave their marks all over one another, they do it to orgasm, which is even better. Possibly the best smut I’ve ever read in a book. I highlighted a concerning amount of their spicy scenes for future perusal.
↳”He uses his arm to lift me off of him before replacing his cock with the silicone plug. ‘You're going to spend the rest of the day filled with my cum, since, apparently, I need to remind you that you're mine.’"

The way this book snuck up out of nowhere and blew my mind though. This is now the standard I will hold every book I read from now on to. Not even just enemies to lovers, but every single book. Huckslee and Taylor just completely stole my heart. It’s very rare I love the main characters the same amount as each other; I pretty much always have a favorite. But I honestly cannot choose between them. They are both such complex characters and so multidimensional, it’s impossible to come to terms with the fact that they’re fictional. I feel so connected to their personalities and motivations. Even the side characters were amazing additions to the story, and I cannot wait for Matt and Xed’s book. To say I loved this story is gravely downplaying it. I would tattoo it onto my soul if I could.
Honestly, bury me with this book.
↳”I'll never get enough of Huckslee Davis. No matter how much time or distance we spend apart, I'll always come back for more. Out of all the addictions I've had in my life, his presence is the most potent. The one habit I can't kick and I never want to try.”

“‘Is it everything you hoped it would be?’
Clearly, he’s not talking about the state of Delaware but rather the state of us—Taylor and Huckslee.
‘No.’ Deepening the kiss, I jump up to wrap my legs around his waist, trusting his strength to catch me if I fall. ‘It’s so much more, baby. So much more.’”

*I received a free advanced copy of this book from the author and this is my voluntary, honest review.

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SPOILERS: Full list of Tropes and Content Warning below

Tropes:
* Bully romance
* Codependency
* Enemies-to-lovers
* Forced proximity
* Gay for you
* Hurt/comfort
* One bed
* Stepbrothers

Microtropes:
* Breath play
* Calls him “baby”
* Cockwarming
* Edging
* Filthy mouth
* Flip fucking
* Praise kink
* Snowballing
* Spanking
* Toys and plugs

Content Warning:
* Addiction
* Child abuse
* Dubious consent
* Homophobia
* Homophobic slurs
* Long timeskip
* Mental health struggles
* Prescription drug abuse
* Suicidal ideation and attempted suicide
* Violence between MC’s

[Laura Jane ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Damn this was good!! 4.5 ⭐
It takes a lot for a book to have me awake past midnight on a weekday but this had me hooked!! It was toxic, messy, painful, had my heart beating out my chest but also had me giggling and screaming.

Huckslee and Taylor are two broken people who are fighting their own battles and pushing back against conflicting feelings, not only because of their own fears but also both being in situations where they have no real support system to truly be themselves.
The bully romance is not messing in this one. It goes beyond high school bullying, its physical, its desire turned into rage and anger, its hurt people hurting people in ways that feel unforgivable. Listen, my jaw DROPPED at one point, I could feel the anxitey building, I KNEW something fucking awful was about to happen and yep it did, and guess what happened next? FOUR YEARS LATER!!! I had to take a break, like yeah, I read that correctly. Honestly, at the time I was floored but it worked so well for this story!!! 

The toxicity, jealousy and possessiveness between these two was TOP TIER. All the angst had me in a literal chokehold 😩
One thing I love is complex characters and boy do these two deliver on this. Yes, what Taylor did was horrific and the aftermath? There are no words - but I will say not once did I think he wasn't redeemable or forgivable. There are so many other factors at play too.
Also, we literally have this POV, we understand him!! Does this make his actions excusebale? No of course not, but it lets us get inside his head and understand why he is acting the way he is. Also, Huckslee isn't a saint in all this - he also uses his pain to do wrong by Taylor. They both fuck up, in big ways, it’s messy. But the longing and grovelling for each other, sooooo good.
I truly believe they both had incredible healing arcs and they both held onto guilt but ultimately worked hard to move forward, as individuals and together.

This book is longish, I believe about 700 pages but honestly, it needed to be. You need to go on this journey with them both as they tackle the aftermath of the 4 year time jump, to see them both develop, make more mistakes, to be toxic as hell, but ultimately to grow & learn.
Did I want to scream at them both at times? Yes. Did my heart drop to my stomach at times? Also, yes. Could things have been easier if they had just spoken? Yes... but where is the fun in that? 

Now, the chemistry and tension between these two gawwwwwd. To be real, because we don't judge - I actually wanted to scream waiting for them to finally have sex bhahaha. Like they are so hot. PLEASE let them have their moment!!!! You could feel their desire building and building ❤️‍🔥 the spice was chef's kiss. 
“You’re such a good boy for me” - NAAAA like, I am deceased at that.

Guys, they finally found Delaware & I am so so happy 🥹 Ahhh I love them both so much!!!!
‘I feel like I’m addicted to him, intoxicated by his presence. I just want to breathe him in, hold him inside my lungs and never exhale, as if his very existence could give me life.’

Let's take a moment to acknowledge the parents because yeah obviously Taylor's Dad is a piece of shit and his Mum is just a terrible person. Like that woman is truly the worst. But also Aaron is a shitty Dad too, like why aren’t you questioning why your wife is acting like Taylor doesn’t exist!!! Sorry but don’t pmo like that.

Side characters were on point because I CANNOT wait to read Xed and Matt's story! Bring on another toxic ride cause damn, I already know that shit will be a ride. Like ouch.

________
pre-read: just gunna be real, I downloaded this cause they are stepbrothers hehe 🤷🏼‍♀️ lowkey nervous because I’ve heard it’s hard out enemies to lovers.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listen. Did I read a 700 page novel in under 36 hours? Yes. Would I do it again? Also yes. This joins the ranks of Wrath and For the Fans for stepbrother romances that hit.

THE PREMISE: best friends to enemies to stepbrothers to lovers … Huckslee and Taylor are both so broken, and so babygirl, their healing journey tore me in two then pieced me back together.

TROPES & VIBES
- Sad boys x spice x stepbrothers
- The found family and side characters are amazing
- *I’ve always only loved you*
- “Mine” x “Baby”
- Obsessive and possessive love

4.5⭐️ 4🌶️ (check TWs)

[⋆｡°✮ Lucy InTheSky ✮°｡⋆ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't even know where to begin. I'm gonna give it 1.75⭐ for Huckslee, but I didn't like the story one bit, so I'm just gonna round it down.

This book has over 500 pages of a complete shitshow. 3 books rolled into one. Why the hell did this have to be told on so many pages, it just blows my mind.
It feels like the author is an enthusiastic reader of high-angst enemies to lovers books and tried to roll every single thing into this one story.

Instead of first developing the MMC's past fully and letting us know how they came to hate each other so much, the book starts somewhere in the middle and then gives you snippets of events along the way. It was jarring to read. Not to mention most of the events aren't fully developed, they have no resolve and the side characters just keep on coming.

🟡 Stepbrothers for a hot second
🟢 More like teenage crush, first love, closet, coming out, DL, GFY, bi, first serious relationship, you name it, there's that many things involved here
🔵 8th grade to high school to 22 years old
🟣 Book divided into three parts, one crazier than the other
🟢 So many things just don't make sense, don't get resolved, don't get an epilogue
🌶️ You'll get sex at the very end, about 70-80% in; first nothing, then it's sex all the time; rimming, oral, 69, breath play (poorly done), some belt thrown in there, a lot of intimacy off-page; both vers

"I just scowl at the snowmobile like it personally offended my grandma, and after a moment, he laughs.
“You’ve never been on one of these, have you?”
Fuck, how does he read me so easily?"



The only character I liked here was Huckslee. He's a really good guy with a horrendous past, mostly thanks to this shithead Taylor, who's his stepbrother and supposedly his love interest, but for the majority of the book it looks like Huckslee is sitting in his little gay corner waiting for scraps from Taylor. What a waste of a good character.

I love bully books, but this was just wrong. This was such horrific abuse wrapped up as this lame "passion" brewing between Huckslee and Taylor, which wasn't even remotely believable. No chemistry felt. Nada.

Huckslee is a big guy, a football player from a good family, he's smart, he's tall, he's buff, but he's taking shit from this guy all the damn time. And we're not talking throwing Huckslee in the locker or beating him up, we're talking literally trying to kill him. And this goes on and on throughout most of the book. Taylor is over here breaking arms, trying to drown Huckslee, he's outing him in front of the whole school so Huckslee tries to kill himself, I mean the list goes on.

And when you finally think, at 22 years old, not living together anymore, they're finally past all this, it still goes on and on and on, there isn't one good outcome in this book, everything is too complicated, shit is happening all the time and the love story is cringe worthy.

“I’m sorry for all of it, Taylor. I’ve been treating you like fucking shit when all you were trying to do was make me see, and I get it now. It all makes sense, and I’m so fucking sorry it took me so long.”

"He’s loved me for a long time, and all I’ve done so far is put doubts in his head about how I feel. So now I need to ensure that my man believes our feelings are aligned, starting with this."

This is Huckslee when in the middle of the story everything turns around and he's trying to blame himself for everything that's happened between them. Suddenly Taylor is forgiven, since his father used to beat him up and it doesn't matter that he literally made Hucklee's life hell for it, no, now he's turning it around and blaming himself for ... What exactly? I mean what kind of message is this? Because Taylor isn't redeemable. Even though he has a personality transplant in the last third of the book.

The only good thing Taylor does for Huckslee is at the end of the book when he's trying to do this grand gesture and he's organizing a do-over of the prom where he outed Huckslee, you know the one where Huckslee then tried to kill himself?
Oh wait, did I say a grand gesture? I meant an unbelievably stupid thing where Huckslee literally has to re-live the biggest trauma of his life! Not to mention the fake joke proposal! From that idiot Taylor.



Huckslee and Taylor were awful as a couple. Completely awful. I have no idea where the author was going with this. This isn't even the bad boy / good boy, not even bully, not even enemies to lovers, not even hot stepbrothers, this is you're fucking toxic and you need to get the fuck away from me, like right now. And call the police while you're at it!

Taylor wasn't the good kind of bad guy, he was a fucking prick and the things he said and did were worthy of a sound retaliation - that never came. Huckslee never really fought back. He never did anything. That forced blow job was nothing. He should've done something substantial to the guy.

Taylor's bi-awakening (gfy? well, we don't know) wasn't well done. Everything about him screams bi, yet he's straight and running after women for the majority of the book. His on-and-off girlfriend is always present. Was he in the closet because of his dad? Sure, when he was a kid, but as an adult he's cuddling with his male friends and getting pegged and then in the last 20% of the book he suddenly goes from a raging homophobe to this needy bottom, suddenly no girls hold his interest, suddenly he's monogamous while prior to this having open relationships all the time - this didn't convince me that he's the right pick for Huckslee, who's a serial monogamist, openly gay and overall a pretty serious guy.

Taylor's group of friends are basically acting like 15 year olds. There's a lot of glaring, hissing, they're all acting like they're in a bad movie or something, it was ridiculous. I kind of liked Logan and that's about it. I think Logan could have his own good bi-awakening, being a virgin and all, especially since he's from a very religious and traditional family - but not done by this author. Done by whomever wrote the last 20% of the book.


If this author is keeping all the side characters and giving them stories, I'd really suggest they take it down a notch, because this was a fucking mess.
Cut the pages in half, you don't need a book this long for a couple of stepbros fucking. Of anyone fucking. And while we're at it, the sex scenes need a bit of polishing. They're good, but could be great.
The timelines weren't working. The author was skipping months and months without giving events a conclusion, a lot of very important things also happened off-page while they dragged the ridiculous ones on-page.


Most of the book was a complete torture to read. Who the hell told this author that this was ok? I'd look into the editors and readers, because someone should've said something.

[Jane aka Coughy019 (Safety info included) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tropes: friends to enemies to lovers, step brothers, second chances, bully romance, miscommunication
Feels: 3/5
Steam*: 2.5/5
Kinks: Mild breath play, Cum play/snowballing, Dubious consent, belting
Angst: high
HEA: yes
Pairing: MM
Triggers/potential icks/content warnings: mental health, anxiety and depression, drugs, suicide attempt by MMC, child abuse, bad parents, cancer, alcoholic MMC (including relapse), death of parents by overdose and cancer, forcible outing of MMC by other MMC, internalized homophobia, homophobia, violence, on page sex with others, sex with others after MMCs start their relationship, messy overlap of sexual relationships that aren't technically cheating between MMCs but hurts each other anyway, cheating (not between MMCs)

3.75 Stars

FYI that this review is going to have tons of spoilers for plot points. With the way I do my reviews, even just for my own future reference, I can't review it without commenting on the plot.

To start, I have to say that I went into this book pretty blind. I saw the tropes in tiktoks and thought it would be right up my alley and I added it to my TBR without checking content warnings. I got a bit burned, if I'd known some of the content warnings I probably would have passed on it because a lot of those things wreck my enjoyment of a book. There were some positives mixed in that I did enjoy, and for a debut book by a new author, objectively speaking it was solid storytelling even if the love story was kind of ugly to me.

Huckslee and Taylor have been involved in each other's lives for a long time. I think they met around grade 8 and they were each other's first kiss back in grade 8. Taylor was being raised by his abusive substance abusing homophobic father, his mother Maisie left years ago. Taylor used to talk about Huck and his dad picked up on his crush before Taylor even understood what it was and was verbally and physically abusive over the possibility that Taylor might be something other than straight (fyi, Taylor isn't attracted to any men other than Huck. It's women for him or Huck). Taylor constantly hid the abuse because he didn't want to be taken from his home and have to go into care and be separated from his friends.

Huck was outwardly a Golden Boy, but inwardly he was suffering horribly himself. He was popular and played football and a bunch of other sports. He was the son of a bishop and being raised in a really religious environment. He knew from very early that he was gay and he was hiding his sexuality. His mom died a few years ago and that started his struggle with anxiety and depression and panic attacks. Huck thought that Taylor liked him too, so he hit on Taylor in 8th grade and revealed he was gay. Taylor kissed him but then immediately after started bullying Huck and secretly taunting him over the secret of his sexuality, part because he needed to distance himself and part because picking fights injured him and allowed him to pretend that his bruises were coming from fights with Huck as opposed to abuse by his dad.

Then nearing the end of high school, Huck's dad and Taylor's mom Maisie got married and they became step brothers and had to interact a bit. There were moments spattered between fights and bullying and hating each other and being Motocross rivals where they had kisses and hookups, but they weren't together, and both of them were hooking up with other people during high school too. Everything kind of came to a head at prom, when Taylor was jealous of a guy named Royce who Huck was hooking up with and then dating. Taylor forcibly outed Huck in front of the entire prom and Huck's dad who was there. Huck's mental health had come to a crisis point already without adding that, and Huck spiraled and attempted suicide that night. Taylor followed him and saved his life.

We skip forward 4 years and Huck had been sent to California to live with his grandparents after his overdose / suicide attempt. He's been doing a lot better and he is an NFL prospect, likely to be drafted soon. Huck's father gets diagnosed with cancer and Huck comes home for the first time in 4 years. Taylor and Huck start interacting again.

Taylor has learned his lesson. Almost losing Huck to suicide made him realize that he's in love with Huck and he's been obsessed with Huck ever since, secretly internet stalking him and watching all of his football games and secretly internally simping over Huck. In his present day interactions with Huck, Taylor takes all of his aggression as something that he deserves and he won't fight back against Huck. Taylor is self-aware enough now to know for him Huck is endgame and he would be with him in a split second if he could have him. This element is probably the best part of the book, I do love a character who simps for their love interest and is all in, but unfortunately it's buried amongst all the content warnings I've listed and a whole bunch of hurting each other and negativity.

You don't get the sense that Huck has been in love with Taylor or pining over him at all really since grade 8, because Taylor was bullying him so hard, it really was just reluctant sexual attraction (by a horny young guy) to his bully on Huck's side. So not a lot of romance on Huck's side.

With Huck back in town, they have angry interactions that turn into hookups but they aren't together. They do start talking more and Taylor apologizes and explains where he was coming from and there starts to be a mutual understanding and Huck starts to like Taylor as a person a bit now that he knows shit. They start to want to have a relationship with each other, but Huck is about to be drafted to the NFL and Taylor's career in Motocross is picking up and they would need to have a long distance relationship. With Taylor being someone whose love language is touch, and needs people to be present, and then both being young guys with high sex drives, they worry they won't be able to make it work. They eventually manage to make it work.

The positive elements to me were: Taylor eventually being a Simp for Huck, the sexual chemistry between them where fights turned into passionate moments, the humor of their friend group finding out about their relationship and teasing them over it, and the fact that this was a debut author's first book and it was a complex plot and a really good effort for a first book!

Just random comments on the author's writing:
- There was a random continuity error that messed up the timeline of some events - that annoyed me.
- The never have I ever game came off as cheesy and contrived - the questions were too conveniently all sexual revelations to expose secrets. That's just not how a normal game of never have I ever where they are using a deck of questions would go, there should have been some variation in the questions or the author should have just had the characters ask questions they came up with themselves, at least that would explain why the questions were all one-track targeted questions to reveal stuff.
- There was a scene of an underwater bj - authors can't sell me on that being hot, it would basically be waterboarding, there's no way to not end up choking on water while you're trying to execute the bj.
- I did not understand Logan and Salem's relationship and why they were together if they were so incompatible. Logan wants to save himself for marriage because of his religious upbringing, but he's also not in a rush to propose to Salem until his dad forces him to. And Salem is very anti-marriage yet still is with him for 2 years without it being a sexual relationship. I just could not understand how they got two years into a relationship that logically they each knew would be a huge dead end for them. It's not like Salem had any reason to believe Logan would start a sexual relationship with her after 2 years of holding out.
- I didn't understand why Huck went into the NFL given he wasn't terribly excited about football, never truly enjoyed football or was doing it for himself, he was more passionate about art and his career choice just didn't make sense. I completely expected him to quit football but he didn't.

Also, I was excited for a while about Matt and Xed's book when I saw some of the bread crumbs throughout the book, but when it was revealed that they've been having sex but Matt dumped Xed to go back to Valerie anyway, I lost my interest. It would have been one thing if Xed had one sided unrequited feelings for Matt, and Matt was just oblivious to it, but ick that they were together and Matt dumps him and leaves him for basically two years to be with someone else.

Overall, this was a messy as hell love story. I didn't enjoy a bunch of the things that are in my content warnings section, it was just ugly for the characters to go back and forth hooking up with others to hooking up with each other to hooking up with others. It was a constant cycle and it was super ugly for them to be with others one night apart or the same night and then with each other. There was a lot of jealousy and hurt. But putting aside my personal tastes on that, overall I felt like they had just hurt each other too much over the years and they were toxic and ugly as a love story. The years of Taylor bullying Huck so hard and being homophobic and forcibly outing him and causing him to attempt suicide was so ugly and unforgivable in a book boyfriend. Huck wasn't innocent in all this, he was physically abusive and hit back just as hard at Taylor over the years. They both broke each other's bones and bruised each other. There was one scene where Huck basically forces himself on Taylor, though Taylor is such a simp he'll take it anyway he can get it, even if it's basically assault and it's violent and painful. So neither of them were behaving well. To me, their bad behaviors over the years just crossed the line to me, where they weren't book boyfriend goals, and their love story was incredibly hurtful and ugly. I want my characters to treat their love interests better, I want there to be some lines that you'll never cross, where you won't hurt the person you're supposedly in love with. I don't hate this book, and I don't think the author did a bad job writing it, it's just not up my alley. I'm still giving it a relatively high rating. But to me, this couple is not endeared to me, they are nowhere near a favourite love match of mine, I have no interest in rereading this book and revisiting their love. Rereading this book would not give me happy feelings or put me in a positive headspace.

If you like jealous and possessive angsty love stories and the content warnings don't turn you off, maybe this book is up your alley. There are positives to it.


Some notable moments:

"“You don’t own him, asshole.” Taylor tries to escape my hold on his arm again, but I’m not letting go. So he grabs Logan’s wrist and holds it up, shaking his hand around. “What, does this piss you off?” “Let go,” I growl, seeing red when he threads his fingers through Logan’s, holding his hand. “How ’bout this? This not ok?” Salem whips around, glaring at him. “Taylor quit it.” But Taylor isn’t done. I feel my grip tighten around him with bruising force as he reaches up to grab Logan’s jaw. “You know what I think will really make you mad, though? This.” He yanks Logan’s face down to his and plants a kiss square on my best friend’s lips."

That awkward moment when you realize your roommate heard everything! Lol "I pad out into the kitchen. And come to a dead halt when I see Christian sitting on the couch in silence, a cup of coffee raised halfway to his lips, sociology homework spread out next to him, an accusing glint in his eye. He looks at me. I look at him. And that’s about when I realize I heard no music coming from his room last night, but I was too caught up in Huck to notice. Ah, fuck. “How much did you hear?” I grit through my teeth, scrubbing my face. His gaze narrows as he takes a loud sip. “Caught the whole show plus the after-credit scene.” He pauses. “Unwillingly, I might add.”"


*FYI about steam: I rate steam based on a combination of quality & quantity. I note kink separate from steam because I don't want to underrate steamy reads that don't have much kink.

**Note about spoilers: I like to comment on the plot of a book in reviews, so I almost always mark my reviews as containing spoilers. But I try to avoid spoiling the big dramatic moments! As a reader, I personally like to know what I'm getting into before I read a book so I know more about the content and if it's to my taste/mood, so I try to give that information in my reviews for myself when I'm considering rereading and also for other readers.

[peoniesandmm · Rating 5 out of 5]

um i don’t even think i have the words to describe how perfect this book was. these broken boys have my heart! this is now my roman empire & is now my entire personality. that hea was so hard earned, ugh my freaking heart. 🥺

these boys are toxic, jealous, possessive, unhinged and i loved every second of it. A MASTERPIECE.

it was a pleasure getting to read this masterpiece, thank you Bree for the arc <3

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do enjoy a good bully romance and this did not disappoint! The MCs are also stepbrothers, but their parent's don't get together until just before they're 18, they aren't raised together, their relationship pre-dates their parent's by almost ten years, and they they don't see each other for years, so for me it didn't feel that should have even been an issue! I am a very open minded person though and stuff like that doesn't even appear on my radar because it's inconsequential, maybe other people see it differently...

The character growth throughout the book was what really pulled me in to this story. In the first part, both MCs are extremely volatile, physically violent and don't know how to deal with their emotions healthily because they have to hide who they are and what's happening in their lives - that's a lot of pressure for two people who are basically scared kids trying to just survive long enough that they can be free from their small town.

Did they go about things the right way at any point up to when they turned 18? Absolutely not. But after the events of prom there's just no way for them to move forward in any kind of relationship without changing drastically. The time jump was definitely needed for part two because it kept the story paced well, and it gave the character's a realistic length of time to have been in therapy and learning how to cope with their emotions, plus it gave them space to grow as individuals. I'm actually glad we didn't go through those four years alongside the characters when normally I would want to have seen everything because it didn't feel like I had missed out on any part of their story. I also loved the way Taylor was pining for Huck and torturing himself by watching his college football games and stalking his Instagram.

What I didn't truly get though was the reasoning for why Huck finally came back to Utah. His dad is seriously ill, yet he spends less than one chapter in the whole book being around his dad in any capacity. I just kept thinking, well If you aren't going to have anything to do with him then why did you need to come home? 😂😂 I also didn't understand Maisie's character at all. It felt like she was being set up as some kind of villain but it didn't really come to much except her being a shitty mother, but we already knew that.

I did like the reunion between Taylor and Huck though. I actually liked how they fell back into old habits and had to really work and take time to move past things instead of things instantly being fixed because of sex - in fact it was generally sex that had them struggling to cope with how they were feeling, which was so refreshing to read! It felt like a very human response and it showed that even if you have the therapy and learn the coping techniques, there are times when that is going to be seriously challenged and you're going to need to find a way to get through that and still be the person you want to be. The way they both know when they're slipping and turn to their therapists felt like a really healthy response and definitely showed a lot of growth. Did they still do absolutely stupid, abusive shit? Yes, they did but they apologise and they both understand that it was wrong and needs to change - progress!

I do think there was a lot of fluff around what was going to happen when Huck was moving away for football though. At no point did either of them properly talk about what was going to happen, and Huck never even asked Taylor if it was possible for him to go with - as far as I was aware Motocross isn't only available in Utah and the only thing really tying Taylor there was his friendships (I actually loved the dynamics of the wider friendship group). It felt like a lot of drama over what should have been a fairly straightforward decision - they acted like Huck was going to be permanently gone for four solid years when that just wasn't the case - hello offseason! There are also NFL teams all over the country so they could easily see each other fairly regularly, plus the NFL season isn't as long as for other sports as far as I've seen? I might be wrong, but it felt like they were just throwing obstacles up for the sake of it. Plus the fact that Huck is an NFL player and has money coming out of his arse, travelling to see each other more frequently wouldn't even have been a financial issue like Taylor was trying to claim! At no point was Taylor's issue ever that he didn't want Huck to have to be the one paying for them to be able to see each other, which made it more confusing - if this is the man you're going to be spending your life with and he's the clear breadwinner and not asking you to give up your passion to be some trophy husband, where was the problem? I just couldn't make sense of why this was the big sticking point in their relationship and to make it more annoying, they don't even come to any kind of agreement!!! We just go to an epilogue and they're magically making the distance work like it was never even an issue......

This situation, and the whole catalyst for Huck coming home (along with a few other minor plot holes) are why I couldn't give this 5 stars, but it was still an enjoyable read if you're into bully romance especially.

[Erika Braga · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.75 ⭐️

Hummmmmmmmmmmmm …………….

The people that compared this book to WRATH by Ella James should stand in corner and think about their actions …….

The ones that compared to Garron Park were closer even though I much prefer Garron Park.

I don’t even know where to start with this book because it is clearly beloved by the majority and I want to be part of the majority, I love to be influenced. I LOVE TO LOVE the same books as everyone else but sometimes it doesn’t happen, it is what it is ……
I guess ….. as we are all well aware, reading IS fucking SUBJECTIVE so spare me the pitchforks …..
Let’s start by how ANNOYING these characters are ! Literally everyone besides Huckslee. I honestly could not find any fucks to give about any of them even when I searched deep into my soul. The fact that ALL of them INCLUDING his best friend since kindergarten acted like HE was the issue when he came back to town 4 years after the horrible PROM night (if you know you know) it was the drop that spill over my cup of patience… WHAT THE HELL was over this author’s mind? I mean did we read the same book ? Are we all ok? Help me out here, Huckslee was the victim RIGHT? RIGHT???? Anyone ??? Am I crazy and delusional?
I guess I would expect that from Taylor friends BUT FROM LOGAN ????? What ? He was supposed to be the ride or die friend in his corner LIKE ALL TAYLOR FRIENDS WERE ON HIS CORNER DESPITE HOW GOD AWFUL HE WAS !!!!!!!
Logan and the father were the characters the disappoint me the most. Logan gave such homophobic energy and self righteousness. LOGAN DO ME A FAVOR AND GO REBORN A BETTER PERSON ! Hiding behind your faith and judging others when you’ve been a terrible friend who didn’t even go visit your best friend who was hurting so bad after that night and on top of that you hid your relationship with Salem who’s best friend with the guy responsible for said tragic night and ON TOP of that acts all affectionate and nice TO SAID GUY RESPONSIBLE FOR SAID TRAGIC NIGHT ? What the actual fuck ? I’m angry allover again.
Salem was whatever to me , at least she was a good loyal friend to Taylor UNLIKE Logan….. but the fact that she compared “being outed” in front of the whole town and family when Huckslee wasn’t ready to a punch on the face he gave Taylor was ANOTHER drop to my cup !
Where the hell this girl finds the audacity? for sure was on sale somewhere because she has way too much ! Christian was just annoying as hell but again loyal to Taylor.
The father bothered me to no end because he was nice and a good father in the beginning but then Taylor moves in and he simply “conveniently” doesn’t even notice how much he is suffering and how all his awful actions have a root cause! How no adult there were able to notice and provide the care he needed ? THE AWFUL MOM should have died ! Fuck him and fuck her too more and harder ! 😤
The father simply acted superficially towards his son after finding out he is gay. Didn’t completely cut him off but completely ignored everything about him that wasn’t what he wanted him to be……. How easy for you to accept and love only the parts of your kid that is what makes you happy and is in accordance with your beliefs……
Now about Taylor, believe it or not he wasn’t my biggest problem. Even though he was the bully, I love a good bully romance so I get it and I saw how much he was hurting . Does it excuse his actions? Obviously not but it kinda makes it easier to understand, and we know we hurt the people we care the most when we are hurting ourselves. So yeah I didn’t think Taylor was irredeemable even though he did the most awful things to Huck. Towards the 70% pf the book I was even liking him.
But my issues with this book were deeper because I dint like how the time line kept jumping without warning , I didn’t like that we didn’t get full view of events AND AGAIN I WAS BEING TOLD what happened… I fucking hate that ! I want to be there and see it all. (Well you know what I mean) a perfect example is : “after the horrible prom night and what Huck does, we LITERALLY SEE NOTHING, it jumps to 4 years ahead and we get no emotion whatsoever….. we don’t see anyone’s reaction, we don’t witness the recovery process, we don’t get the guilt the pain, NOTHING. We don’t see when Taylor beats up Huck’s father ! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ?” Every single major event was off page and barely glanced over.
And if all that wasn’t reason enough for me to have issues with this book, Huck is the one that basically needs to eat the humble pie and kinda work for everyone’s forgiveness. AGAIN WHAT? I lost count of how many times I said what in this book…… yeah Huck gets a little sassy and bratty not wanting to accept nor forget what happened. But wouldn’t anyone in his place ? What do you do when a person bullies you your entire life , beats you up countless times, shames you in front of everyone, puts a spider in your locker knowing you have arachnophobia, drowns you , breaks your arm, crashes your car, outs you at prom and causes the damage to your mind that it’s almost impossible to get over ? So I say get a little sassy and bratty is not even acceptable, he should’ve been getting EVEN ! Hahah !
This books is close to 3 ⭐️for me which is when I actually like the book BECAUSE towards the end I was liking Taylor and Huck even though I didn’t feel their chemistry, and I was “accepting “ the friends (not totally) because what was up with all the hissing and glaring? Were they still in high school and I didn’t get the memo ? Ugh ….. so yep I won’t be reading the other 2 books in this series because I don’t care enough about those characters….. also before I forget, what the fuck was up with the flirty uncle ??? Why that character was thrown there for a page to make it awkward and weird ?!?! Again another thing I didn’t care for …..
Ah the one cute thing to me was the significance about Delaware for them ! 😍 so it wasn’t all worthless…..

[Renae Reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Taylor and Huckslee go on an impressive journey together. Their story has its fair share of ups and downs, miscommunication, and frequent heartbreaking moments, making it an intense emotional story.

They share a connection and have been harboring feelings for one another for years, but due to various circumstances, they are forced to hide, lie, and forget about their mutual attraction. This forces the two to go in quite different directions it takes ample time and distance for both Taylor and Huckslee to be open to reconciling with one another.

Overall I enjoyed aspects of this story. I enjoyed the chemistry between these two and seeing their emotional development throughout the story. What was challenging was understanding how their feelings became so powerful due to not getting enough moments in their past to understand their ultimate devotion to one another years later.

*** I reviewed a complimentary copy of this story.***

[Mariah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is going to have major spoilers as a lot of my review was written while I was reading.

I wanted to DNF this about 25% in, I didn’t because I feel like there were so many 4 and 5 star reviews that just seem so similar and a lot of them were ARC copies. For a book to only have high star reviews weeks after release I just got suspicious, especially with it being such a long book. So I stuck it out to the end and while I enjoyed some parts this book was tough. Here’s my review.


Straight out of the gate there’s so many time jumps, chapters end mid scene and then it’s a month later. The time jumps in the middle of scenes drove me crazy. I don’t want to see things happen in a flashback, a 600+ page book shouldn’t have time jumps and then past scene descriptions, just write the scene in the present and then do the jump. For so many pages there’s so many things we miss, it’s bizarre.

The first 30% of this book is tough to read. Taylor literally tortures Huckslee for years, physically and mentally beating him down, he’s also struggling with his sexuality being a secret that Taylor is holding over him. Ultimately ending in Huckslee attempting suicide after a particularly terrible incident that Taylor initiates.

Taylor is being abused by his father and this is the reason for him constantly attacking Huckslee, even though he no longer lives with his father he feels like because his father pays for his motocross bike that he has to continue to abuse Huck in case his drunk, abusive dad changes his mind in supporting Taylor.

There’s a 4 year time jump.

Huckslee comes back for an emergency with his father and everyone just expects him to be 100% okay with Taylor and everyone’s friendships with him.

We’re missing so much with the time jump, and it’s not ever talked about. What happened after prom? Huck lost his scholarship for trying to kill himself? Did he even apply to Berkeley pre-attempt, how did he just manage to get into Berkeley? What was his dad’s reaction to him being gay? Huckslee says a few times he fled to California for freedom to be himself but what happened before he left? Taylor goes to jail for breaking probation, what was that like?

Since there are so many time jumps, I’m not feeling the sympathy for Taylor that I think the author is trying to portray. We know very little about Taylor’s redemption but I’m supposed to just put aside the first 30% of the book and be all “oh he’s so cute and innocent”. First 30% Taylor and the other 70% Taylor are two completely different characters and because there’s a time jump and so many events and scenes not written I had a very hard time connecting the two people as one person who’s grown to be better.

Missed the draft. Comes up during like a group argument/discussion. No importance to it at all. Taylor got a new dragonfly tattoo that’s only mentioned in passing once Huck sees it, why didn’t we read about him getting the tattoo?

Part 3 -70% of the way through the 600+ page story and nothing is happening, they haven’t had sex, their future is undecided, their friends are all fighting.

They finally have sex for the first time in a lake, under a waterfall, with the whole group of friends on the other side. Unbelievable.

They fight and have sex and fight and have sex over and over again, while questioning if they’re even in a relationship or where the relationships going. It’s incredibly repetitive .

“We need to communicate”
They don’t
“We need to communicate”
They don’t
…and on and on it goes when it’ll stop no one knows.

And then it ends with Taylor recreating prom for Huckslee as a gift to him, Taylor pulls the curtain back on the stage and outs himself like he outed Huckslee 4 years before. It’s ridiculous, nothing is settled. Taylor had just spent 4 days ignoring Huckslee. There’s no conclusion to their trust issues, there’s no conclusion for Taylor’s alcoholism (he said he relies heavily on his friends to keep him sober and I don’t think that’s a smart, life long plan), we know so little about Huckslee’s professional football life or career, what’s the deal with Taylor’s mom Maisie, why does she hate Taylor so much? There’s just so many questions left unanswered.

In conclusion this book was a bit of a mess as I’m sure this review also is. So much of it happened off page which is crazy for a 600+ page book. Taylor somehow ends up being the victim, right up til the end Huck is apologizing for his part in their past. He was being bullied and beaten up day in and day out for 4+ years but somehow he should’ve been understanding and accepting of Taylor’s life and should’ve just known that there was a reasonable excuse for the abuse.

Logan and Salems story was a pretty big part of this book and unless I missed it, ended with no resolution.

I don’t think this author is for me.

[Valen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Writing was really solid, so much so that I forced myself to finish this even though I hated a lot of what happened here. HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD.

In summary, Taylor is abused by his trailer park addict dad (never stood a chance), has a crush on Hucksley (what kind of name is this), they kiss in the 8th grade. Taylor’s dad suspects something is going on and beats the shit out of Taylor, Taylor then becomes Huck’s bully for years to 1) try to hide his feelings and 2) try to hide his bruises by getting more bruises from Hucks.

Hucks’s dad and Taylor’s mom marry throwing them into a forced proximity stepbrothers situation.

From there, horrendous things happen to Hucks at the hands of Taylor. Frankly unforgivable things, that drive Hucks to attempt suicide. Yes, it’s fucking bleak.

This happens in the first third of the book. The rest of the book is Taylor beating himself up, grovelling, apologising, grovelling some more, spending time in jail, ending up in hospital.

Then Hucks kind of sexually assaults Taylor (Taylor says he wanted it so I guess it’s fine??????) they try to fix their relationship, fall for each other, there’s miscommunication at one point which causes Taylor to break his sobriety. But they love each other so they stay together and they have a happily ever after. Truly toxic shit, kudos on the writer for making it believable because at 30% I was ready to DNF. Am I glad I read the whole thing? Maybe only to see how the author would redeem these two assholes, which they did, actually. End of rant. Docking one star because this was also really freaking long.

If you’ve made it to the end of my word vomit, go
Read this review that encapsules my feelings better than I could. https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Gohnar23 · Rating 3 out of 5]

Books read & reviewed: 1️⃣7️⃣7️⃣🥖4️⃣0️⃣0️⃣
Date: Friday, April 18, 2025
Word Count: 174k Words, wow this is long

╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ My 28th read this month (⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠ ⁠)

3️⃣🌟, 😬😬😬😬😬😬 ALMOSTTTTTTTT
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➕➖0️⃣1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣5️⃣6️⃣7️⃣8️⃣9️⃣🔟✖️➗

sry if i didnt read and reviewed a book yesterday even though i said i can read 2 to 4 books a day but really :/// that only applies to books that are like 100 to 200 pages. THIS IS 682 PAGES! i may read fast but not THAT fast

Now onto the review lols — you ALMOST did something that i would actually appreciate, and that is making a book that is full of drama and just sad things kinda like MY ABSOLUTE PRECIOUS 'A LITTLE LIFE' but there were two things that prevented you from ever reaching that point, and those who just happens to be some of the most hated things that i will ever read in a book and that is..

1.) THE MOST UNNECESSARY TIME SKIP EVER, LIKE WE'RE OVER HERE GOING THROUGH FULL ON DRAMA, TENSION IS AT ITS ABSOLUTE HIGHEST, MURDER ALMOST HAPPENING, MISCONCEPTIONS & MISCOMMUNICATIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND WHAT CAN I ONLY INTERPRET IS A FAILED SUICIDE ATTEMPT

And somehow everything just got magically solved by one of the most traumatic things ever written... "FOUR YEARS LATER", when i read that i was like, what.. 🤨 is this lazy writing at it's finest? You did everything almost correct but you somehow managed to magically solve everything with a damn time skip? So the bully just magically changed for the better now. Now they're automatically comfortable with each other after that pool scene which i can only hypothesize is actually a rape scene because guys i swear you don't drown someone and just make out with him while at it. Huckslee is magically untraumatized and undepressed now, and everyone is just chill about everything.

And the second thing i hated the most?

2.) a fucking genre change:

You know i already have a quite a history in 180° full blown genre changes (i am looking at you 'the clown hunt') and this genre change went from basically 'a little life' version 2, absolutely gorgeous 🤍 to smut scenes everywhere 😒 i refuse to believe that the author actually wrote part 2 and part 3 because everything just went straight downwards after "4 years later" was mentioned in the book.

This was such a failed attempt at a slow burn romance because you honestly just put a shit ton of sex scenes at the last 30% of a book and just call it a day, i mean that's the point of a slow burn romance anyway right? Just put numerous amount of sex scenes on the last part so people can call the entire read, "worth it", worth it for the smut? Yes if you're that type of reader, WELL IM NOT, SO GIVE ME THE CLOSURE THAT YOU LOOSELY ENDED ON PART 1 AND I WILL PUT THIS BOOK ON THE SAME LEVEL AS 'A LITTLE LIFE', the general change from drama to smut is unnecessary and you should've continued writing and concluding that drama because that is what picked the interest of most people who read this book but rated it a low star because of this such disappointment in the genre change.

[haletostilinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a debut novel.

I started this right after midnight when it was available yesterday. It took me about a day and a half to finish this almost 700 page book.

I couldn't put it down.

Yes, if you were aware of my updates, you would know that Taylor pissed me off so much at first. But dammit if he didn't win me over by the second half!

Huckslee takes so much shit from him I wouldn't have blamed him if he never spoke to Taylor again. But also, I'm glad he didn't, and he learned to forgive, because their love story is absolutely epic.

First off, this book does not skimp on the enemies to lovers aspect. Seriously, the hate is strong and the things they say and do to each other, immense and awful. More Taylor than Huckslee, but Huckslee gets his shots in, especially later on.

Now, these two get the honor "friends to enemies to lovers" because for a whole school year or several months of a school year - it's not quite clear when it all happens in eighth grade - they were friends. They also both liked, even loved each other.

But Taylor has grown up roughly. His mother left when he was young, and his father is an abusive, homophobic shithead. He's taken in a lot of that abuse, both physical and verbal, and has some pretty bad homophobia himself because of his dad.

Or I should say, internal homophobia, as he kisses Huckslee when they're 14, in eighth grade, but then he's too excited about Huckslee and his father has a lot to say about it, and in fear, Taylor turns on Huckslee. To not only keep his bike to do the one thing he's passionate about - dirt biking - but to so that his father won't literally beat him to a pulp - that would most likely kill him. I think it's even mentioned that his father kill him if he didn't stop hanging out with Huckslee or found out they did more than just be friends.

Now to me, I don't think any of that was an excuse for him to treat Huckslee the way he does. He turns on him, and literally becomes Huckslees bully, his tormentor. As shitty as it would be, ghosting Huckslee or saying horrible shit to him one time would have been better than bullying him for the next four years.

I felt bad for Taylor when his father would hurt him, and he would start fights with Huckslee to hide them, to be able to say he got them while fighting Huckslee. But still, even as I felt for him when it came to that, and his shitty mother too, I didn't like what he did to Huckslee. No matter what, harming someone so much isn't okay.

And just...some of the shit he does would be unforgivable in reality, honestly. Or it should be. He not only breaks Huckslee's arm - which just feels way different than their normal fights, but he also outs Huckslee to not only his father and best friend, but a whole prom full of people and to me that...that was just awful. Beyond awful.

So yeah, I was pretty angry at Taylor for a good portion of this book - even as I was still rooting for him and Huckslee because of course I was - but his friends pissed me off too. Because like...what exactly did Huckslee do that deserved the dirty looks and glares from them? Like do you all know what your bestie did to him? Like what the fuck? I would probably end my friendship with someone over what Taylor does and how he treats Huckslee.

But I get having such a strong connection as to stick by someone, even when they do shitty things. But their attitude toward Huckslee pissed me off - except Matty - like okay stick by your man, but at least be contrite on his behalf? Or try to be nice to Huckslee? Or just civil? Instead of glaring at him and judging him for not being happy and nice to the guy who tormented him for years and outed him to a gym full of people? Honestly, Christian (Taylor's bff) and Salem (his ex-girlfriend but also bff) pissed me off almost at much at times. Salem more than Christian, as he was pretty child most of the time.

Like I get Huckslee fought back a lot of the time and said some nasty things back when he could, but they had to know that Taylor started their "feud" and all the horrible shit he did to Huckslee. If not, that fuck Taylor for either not telling them or lying to them. I know they didn't know their real feelings for each other and about the kiss and all that, but that doesn't matter. Treating someone that horrible after being their friend is shitty.

And I know Salem was the only one - for a long time - that knew about Taylor's abusive father and probably felt overprotective of him because of that, but man, she knew Huckslee didn't know about it and still got angry about him and judged him for being upset and/or angry at things Taylor did to him. Like what the fuck? Salem honesty annoyed the crap out of me throughout this. Even her attitude when it came to Logan (Huckslee's best friend who she dates) after drama happens between them.

Just...Taylor and his group of friends annoyed or pissed me off for quite awhile in this.

And Huckslee is actually just so sweet. He goes through a lot himself, even if it isn't abuse. But he's a bishop's son, he lost his mother 2 years previously, he's closeted, he has MH problems in the form of pretty bad anxiety, and he gets pretty depressed at one point too, so badly that he TW: attempts suicide . Heed the TW's at the back of the book for that. Pretty heavy to deal with, so if you need to know how bad it gets, go to the back of the book first and read those TW's.

But anyway, Huckslee fell for Taylor, but then all the sudden he's treating him like shit at every turn, starting fights with him, bullying him, doing things like putting a tarantula in his locker when he knows Huckslee is afraid of spiders. Huckslee reacts how anyone would react when their big crush all the sudden turns around and starts bullying you. And he was just a kid, too, so he's way too hard on himself later on when he finds out everything. If Taylor was so good at hiding it or bullshitting, you can't blame for Huckslee for not knowing. But he tries to blame himself anyway.

I guess one of the only big things I would say he does wrong before the time jump is not seeing Taylor in the hospital. I get it, as what Taylor seemingly does is shitty, but even then I feel he should have seen him, even with every shitty thing that happened between them up until that point.

Otherwise Huckslee was just dealing with a lot of shit, even outside of everything Taylor, and he just gets shat on again and again when he's done nothing wrong.

Also, I want to say that this is one of the few stepbrother romances where I didn't mind that the stepbrother thing wasn't that big of a deal.

Huckslee's father and Taylor's shitty mom get married their senior year of high school, but Huckslee and Taylor already had feelings for each other before that, and never really knew each other as brothers. They also only live together for like 4 or so months, so they never felt like more than just two people forced to legally be "brothers" by marriage.

Also normally that would annoy me, but it was a good way to put these two enemies together to get them to be around each other more so feelings could blossom and their relationship could deepen. They needed to be stepbrothers or I think they might have been "enemies" forever.

Also, while no one outright freaked out when finding out about them later on, there were people here or there who still judged them being together and weren't the nicest about it. Which is honestly more than some other stepbrother romance books take it. So I was pretty happy with that aspect, even if them being stepbrothers were the least of their worries and it wasn't a huge deal in the long run.

Also I saw some people worried about them being with others, and I have to say as someone who hates MC's with others or any type of cheating - there is none of that while they're together.

In the first half or so, they are with others, but the only on page scene of them with someone else is Taylor getting a blowjob from a girl at a party. Even then, all he can see and think about is Huckslee when it happens (in fact him thinking about him is what even gets him hard and allows him to finish).

Otherwise there might be a kiss here or there with someone else but there's no more on page sex with others outside of that. And it happens when they're still so entrenched in their "enemies" stage and things are so fucked up between them too that I didn't mind it all that much. After the time jump there's a scene where Taylor attempts to be with someone - before he and Huckslee even get together or talk of being together - but we later learn that he couldn't do it, couldn't follow through.

After that, they're only with each other. Yeah, we hear about boyfriends and/or hookups in that 4 year time jump, but we never have to see them with anyone. The only cheating in this has nothing to do with them. Maybe one is involved, but it has to do with another couple or person, what have you. These two, once they get their shit together and start to try at a relationship, and go further than the one handjob and a few kisses they had before the time jump, they are completely devoted to each other, and hella possessive.

Their chemistry was just so fucking good, and I couldn't get enough of these two. And seeing Taylor change over the time jump was so great. I slow came around to him and came to love him as much as Huckslee. He really does go through so much horrible shit too. As much as I was angry with him early on in the book for how he treats Huckslee, and it doesn't excuse his behavior, I felt for him so much. For years, the abuse and neglect he went through would fuck up anyone.

But him working himself is so great, and him Huckslee working through all their shit to get to the other side was amazing to read. Their love shines through the pages, and for all the shit they went through, they get to be happy and in love for the rest of their lives.

Their HEA was so great and I loved it to bits. I hope we get a short or something in the future to possibly see them years down the line, setting into their life together? (Perhaps getting married? There was some discussion of maybe, year down the line, them getting married...).

If not, we still on such a solid, happy note and I couldn't believe it was over when I got there. I couldn't get enough of these two.

What a journey they go on.

And I'm certainly excited to read about Xed and Matty next. They're going through some shit in the background of this book, so I know their story will have drama too, just of a different kind.

Absolutely can't wait for more from a new loved author! 😍

[M's ☆~HEA~☆ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hesitated reviewing/rating this because of how excited I was for its release and the fact that I stayed up until 2am reading it only to really dislike it. This wasn't a bully romance. This was abuse. And disrespect. And terrible physical boundaries.

Taylor’s harsh inhale echoes off the hallway walls as he pulls my arm backward until I yelp, something wet trickling into my eyes....bending my elbow unnaturally until I hear something break....

The "something wet" is blood from Taylor bashing Huckslee's head into a doorjamb. Then leaves him to suffer alone! Mr.Romance also verbally berates him, repeatedly beats the absolute shit out of him, outs him at prom in from of the whole class & his dad causing so much anxiety to Huck that he goes home and tries to commit suicide, beats the crap out of Huckslee's dad (off page), steals & totals Huck's car, and God knows there's more.

Blondie is nowhere to be seen, but he’s watching me with an expression I can’t read whenever I glance over at the pool table.

Blondie is one of several girls we get to witness Taylor hook up with. I thought it was a MF romance at one point. Taylor even gets a bj from his BFF's gf *swoon*. These morons play NHIE and Truth or Dare after deciding to be a couple. Taylor happily allows his BFF to apply a hickey to his shoulder and Huck seriously contemplates kissing another boy for 5 minutes🤦‍♀️ These are just a few of the zero boundary bullshits we have to deal with.

Four days. Four fucking days Taylor’s been gone, and I’m losing my mind.

That quote is from 94% in because they love to run away from each other and go radio silent. That is my biggest pet-peeve ever. I mean it happened every damn time.

I will not be reading book 2 because the MC's in book2 are already shown to have been hooking up during book 1 but one MC (plans to) go back to his baby mama & the other kisses a random guy during Truth or Dare (the same guy Huck was considering kissing) causing angst & heartbreak already. I refuse to put myself through that.

At no point did these characters redeem themselves or give us readers a relationship to root for. I was unsettled throughout the entire thing and not in any good angst way.

[Marci · Rating 5 out of 5]

”Huckslee, I’ve been in love with you since the eighth grade.”

that meme where someone comments “show name?” and someone else comments back “no. it’s for your own good.” is me with this book😭 they nearly killed me. 5 stars!

[nat · Rating 2 out of 5]

dnf at 27%
I really can’t stand Taylor and what he’s has done to Huckslee is irredeemable

[TrippyBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wowzers let me start off by saying i did enjoy this book overall pretty good and a debut novel! It includes step brothers, hate to love, hot 🥵 smut, second chance, toxicity, time skips, addiction, mental health ☹️

Its entertaining for me as a person who likes messy shit. But sometimes i felt like the characters were too codependent on each other & im not a fan of petty miscommunication thats easily fixable?
Maybe, we should all just go to rehab & break up idk

Taylor will probably be irredeemable for a lot of people considering hes a literal pos lol
i honestly think Huckslee deserves better

I think this book is a tad too long & couldve been condensed


Sn: their friends are annoying and always present

[alex :)]

dnf @ 46%

i took a break from this for a couple days and after reading another chapter, i was reminded of why i was reading so slow in the first place. i don’t like taylor. i damn near don’t like huckslee either. i get that they’re enemies still, but taylor knows that he has feelings for huckslee, yet he still hasn’t taken the time to beg for forgiveness over all the shit he’s caused. it’s like, do you want to be happy or not?? i’m reading his pov and he’s sulking all over the place bc huckslee hates him, but he’s done nothing to fix it. and there’s still a part three further in the story. yeah, no thanks.

[Miki_reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rtc but what's with all these step brother books and being 82937287 pages long for absolutely no reason

[Marilla ☘︎ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75✨

[lakshmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

re-read because apparently my period craving is toxic as fuck step brother romances 😈



by far one of the most toxic relationships I’ve read 😋


“I’m so fucking sorry. I know saying it won’t make a difference, it won’t change anything that happened, but–”
He cuts me off with a snarl. “Then why say it at all?”
“Because your feelings fucking mattered, Huckslee, and I played with them like they didn’t.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No,” I shake my head, licking my lips. “It’s supposed to make you feel however you feel.”


my relating is purely because of how much I enjoyed my time while reading this book. The plots is not the best and please read the trigger warnings before you choose to read this. But it had the most messy, toxic, meddlesome and wholesome friend groups ever. It was charming for me to read about them together. So excited for book 2✨

[Sandy Kay]

UPDATE after hearing more specifics, am tweaking this a bit, though, still a Nope for me.

I was greatly looking forward to reading this, it sounds like it is a stellar debut, but, the MCs aren't focused on only each other for quite a while. They are dating and physical with other people, including one scene on page with mentions of off page activity. What keeps it a Nope for me is that while the MCs are circling each other and doing things like a kiss here and there and one angry hand job--they're also dating/with other people at the same time, even though the OP stuff is kept mostly off-page. I just can't.

However, if that won't bother you, or you like that kind of angst, it sounds like a really well-written debut, with a toxic enemies-who-are-lovers relationship. In which case, I hope you love it! The character development and voice sound really strong and engaging/immersive.

I still wish more authors would include "intimacy with non-MCs" with some context (on page? Off page? simultaneously while circling each other?) in their trigger warnings. It is a legit trigger for a lot of us and would help to make better decisions before reading. This one would definitely feel like cheating to me, but for many it won't and they'll love the angst. It sounds like the character arcs/journey is complex and well done and gut-wrenching.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars ...

I've wavered throughout this between 4 and 5 stars. I have a few very minor, nit-picky issues ... so not *quite* perfect? ... BUT this was an epic and remarkable DEBUT novel!!! Pretty sure I've never read a debut novel that hit like this one did. So ... yeah ... it earned ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐.

From the Afterword ...
Finding Delaware is my debut novel, and I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Huckslee and Taylor’s journey is a testament to the power of secrets and their toll on our lives. I wanted to dig deep into the messy struggle of hiding who you really are—the kind of pressure that eats you alive, leaving you with this gnawing shame that whispers you’re never enough. Both characters are trapped: Huckslee, choking on the weight of perfection everyone expects from him, and Taylor, haunted by trauma that just won’t quit. Together, they reflect that never-ending battle between who we are on the inside and who we show the world. But there's always light at the end of the tunnel.

This story is about finding the guts to stare down your demons, forgiving yourself for the things you thought could never be forgiven, and realizing that redemption isn’t just possible—it’s worth fighting for. It’s about loving yourself despite your scars, and most importantly, it's a reminder that no matter what you've done in the past, you can always change.

[Lauralee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Huckslee and Taylor are toxic together, and they know it, despite having Motocross in common and a bunch of mutual friends. It starts after a misunderstanding in 8th grade, and it continues until it just can't anymore. They were friends at one point, but friends devolved to enemies, and that's exactly what they are when Huckslee's dad marries Taylor's absent mom. Taylor is desperate to rid himself of the clutches of his abusive father, and moves in with his mom, Huckslee, and Huckslee’s dad. Maybe that's where it all went wrong... or maybe, that's where it all started to go right... eventually.

Holy cow. I have no words for the range of emotions this book made me feel. I'm still reeling honestly. It's a mammoth book, but it's so fucking worth it. This HEA is the hardest fought one I've ever seen. The tension? The fights? It's raunchy and delicious and unreal. I can't believe this is a debut novel. Bree writes BEAUTIFULLY. I spent almost the entire book being blown away by her storytelling, the way she writes, and the characters she created.

[patrícia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a debut novel, so 👏 Bree Wiley, wow 👏!

This is a love story that drives through the worst dirt track ever... bumpy , dangerous, muddy, always breaking and restarting. Mechanical problems all the way, but there's also a crowd cheering and a found family you choose to celebrate with! And in the end, it’s so rewarding!

### What I Liked:
- Both characters' growth, especially Taylor’s 🌱
- Found family vibes 💖
- Redemption arcs
- Intimacy that hits deep
- Grandparents 🥹
- Making new, good memories we’re old ugly ones existed
- Taylor’s tattoo backstory 🖋️
- Huckslee’s adorable drawings
- The over the heart tattoo 🥹🫠
- Hot-as-hell shower/water shenanigans 🔥💦
- The tension & toxicity mix (co-dependency done right)
- Every time Taylor reminded me of Waylon
- Those surprises and love declarations ✨
- Flip fuckin’ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

### What Didn’t Completely Work for Me:

The toxicity—it was over the top. The bullying? Brutal. It left both physical and, more importantly, mental scars. There are some unforgivable moments… things I thought I would never let it go. or forget… but somehow they talked, apologize and accepted that the new memories would heal the bad ones.

Just when we’d get a breakthrough, it would backslide into miscommunication, running away, or outright ignoring each other. The author piled on so much drama it felt like a never-ending drama after drama😅.

#### Pacing & Time Jumps
The time jumps were confusing. Important moments got glossed over or skipped entirely, leaving only short recaps to fill in gaps. It disrupted the flow and made the day-to-day life between chapters feel non-existent.

#### Explicit Content Overload
I absolutely hated the constant talk about everyone's sexual exploits. EVERYONE. Cheating, sharing, loud climaxes, who's "getting some" or "getting none"—the level of explicit detail was sickeningly cringy. Maybe I'm not as open-minded as I thought, but I don’t need to read about everyone’s intimate moments in that much detail.

#### Character Impressions
I loved Taylor’s growth. His change felt real—the way he assumed guilt, sought forgiveness, and worked hard to change. Huck, though? He felt like a stranger to me for most of the book. He went from wearing a fake mask of shame and depression to wearing a fake mask of happiness. But then... he blossoms. Finally, Huckslee! 🎉

#### Side Characters
Maisie (the mom)? Completely unnecessary. I cannot fathom why she treated Taylor the way she did. She’s a bad parent and a bad person, and her presence added zero value to the story.

#### BDSM Elements
The BDSM scenes felt out of character and a bit out of place. They were fun (and sexy!), but they needed more communication— safe words, please?

---

Final Thoughts:
This book took me on a wild ride. I went from “I hate you” to “I feel you,” then “I think I love you,” back to “I definitely hate you,” wishing you a terrible death, and finally hoping for that forever smile.

It’s messy, flawed, and chaotic, but somehow, that’s also what makes it so damn satisfying. 🌟

I know I’m ignoring more flaws but, I’m happy with the end 🖤

He delicately lifts my jaw, those dark, starry eyes searching as he presses his lips to mine. “Is it everything you hoped it would be?”
Clearly, he’s not talking about the state of Delaware but rather the state of us—Taylor and Huckslee.
“No.” Deepening the kiss, I jump up to wrap my legs around his waist, trusting his strength to catch me if I fall. “It’s so much more, baby. So much more.”

The End

[Crisana]

A big DNF. I had high hopes for this but the tropes are not for me. The violence between the MCs is too much, broken arm and all and I couldn't' get past it. Also, sleeping with other people is something I really dislike.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel conflicted about this book because I kinda liked it but I also hated it.

What is it about? In short, we get a boy (Tyler) who's abused by his father so he abuses the boy (Huckslee) he supposedly likes, and then we're watching their journey in the course of many years.

It's a reeeeeally long book (almost 700 pages) so we get every thing you can imagine. What to expect: a stepbrother trope (not that necessarily in my opinion), from bullying to love (more like from abuse to abuse to abuse to abuse to boredom), abuse between the main characters, child abuse, mental health problems, religious people, cancer, a parent death, a pet death, motocross, American football, homophobia, internalized homophobia, forced coming out, a suicide attempt, a car crash. You name it! I'm really bummed we didn't get a coma.

So what I liked about it? The only thing I liked about this book is how I couldn't put it down — at least at first two parts mark. The third part felt unnecessary and made me feel bored, but the first two parts seemed interesting enough even though the book irritated me.

What I didn't like? Everything else. Let's start, shall we?

Time skips. There were many time jumps, and it's not like I'm against them in general but here they not only kept coming all the damn time and lacked consistency (one month, three months, four years etc. stuff like that) — they took away many emotional moments we were supposed to see.

A classic show vs tell problem. This book is not bad written by any means and it's not entirely in the "tell" category (if it was, I would drop it really fast) but, first of all, many important moments were not being shown to us (see my "time skips" point higher) and, second of all, the characters' emotions were being told. The characters kept telling us how they felt instead of showing us, so naturally I, as a reader, felt nothing and couldn't feel for them or believe them.

My main problem is the characters. All of them. I hated them all. Okay, maybe I liked Royce and Huck's father but you know the characters are not good when the only ones you like are the main character's temporarily boyfriend and his dad.

Let's start small. The parents:
Taylor's father is an abusive piece of shit and a druggie but even though that is very important for the plot we barely met that character. He didn't have a voice whatsoever and then he just died.

Taylor's mother is a piece of shit who left her seven years old son with his abusive father, and even when she came back she didn't give a damn about him. I don't understand her at all. She's not fleshed out and to be honest if she just never came back we could get the same plot results (I've already mentioned that I don't find a stepbrother trope necessarily here).

Huskslee's father is a bishop and he seems like a really nice guy. But I really don't understand how he fell in love with a woman like Taylor's mother and didn't he notice how his wife didn't care about her own son? (shouldn't religious people care about that stuff?)

Now for the friends! Oh man, did they give me a bad taste in my mouth! They are mostly Taylor's cause Huck is practically lonely as hell. They get high, fuck each other and don't have much personality except for being Taylor's friends. Taylor and Christian (his best friend) fuck each other's girlfriends both with and without permission countless times. Christian's girlfriend sucked Taylor's cock practically in front of her boyfriend and when they got caught Taylor and Christian beat each other up. Yikes. You could say they were dumb teenagers but years later they haven't changed that much to be honest. I mean, for me it's distasteful when your only personality trait is hooking up and doing drugs. Huckslee's only friend Logan is the opposite cause he's religious but he's boring as well. He's dating that girl Salem (Taylor's friend and ex-girlfriend) and I couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Are you seriously gonna tell me a girl who loves sex, had been in an open relationship and fucked her boyfriend in the ass suddenly gives up sex for a "monk"? (and it's all stupid because Logan doesn't want to have sex before marriage and Salem doesn't want to get married. What's the point then?). Nah, I don't believe she would've been faithful in real life. And Logan is okay with taking mushrooms but sex before marriage is where he's drawing the line? Uh uh.

AND NOW FOR THE MAIN COURSE.

TAYLOR. God, I hate him. I hate him so fucking much. Not only he's annoying, he's an abusive piece of shit. He is a victim of his father but I didn't feel much sympathy. Okay, so he's decided to stay silent about the abuse because he didn't want to lose connection with his friends and he wanted that scholarship. But was it an excuse to abuse the innocent guy you "like"? Absolutely not. I know what you think. I knew what I was getting into, it's a bullying trope. But the same trope can be written in many different ways and sometimes you can even let it slide for the sake of fiction if characters are charismatic enough. It's not the case here. It's not like Taylor doesn't have personality but he's one dimensional. He's pretty basic, lacking any charisma and it seems like all he does is being angry or playing the victim. Even when he says he's feeling guilty (again, says, not shows!) he manages to bring attention back to himself. I hated how the author tried to make it seem like both characters are equal, like they hurt each other the same way. A BIG NO. The only thing Huckslee did wrong is that blow job in the cabin (but again he didn't force it, Taylor was willing to do it), all the other times Huck was defending himself. Meanwhile, Taylor called him names and used different homophobic slurs, played horrible pranks on him (and Huckslee has anxiety), threatened to out him, beat him up, broke his arm, broke his car, tried to drown him "playfully" during a hand job, forced him to come out (and as a result Huck tried to kill himself). And I hate it then years later when Taylor says he ruined Huckslee's life, Salem says he didn't do it. What? He absolutely did! And I hate how most of the times when Huck and Taylor were having the talk, Huck ended up coddling Taylor and downplaying his actions. Yes, he did ruin his life. Look at them years later. Taylor says how he missed Huckslee and everything but he seems pretty happy to me. Motocross, friends, girlfriends. He got it all! And Huckslee? Huckslee got an anxiety disorder, the aftermath of his suicide attempt, a boyfriend after a boyfriend without happiness, and complete misery. This is not your childish bullying, this is abuse. Period. I hate this annoying Taylor shit.

I can't say much about Huckslee. He even less fleshed out than Taylor. It felt like Huck's only personality trait was liking and forgiving Taylor no matter what. And Huck was boring. At least Taylor had some fun. But I didn't hate Huckslee like I did Taylor — I felt sorry for him.

My final problem is the complete lack of romantic and sexual chemistry between the main characters. Taylor and Huckslee had way more chemistry with literally everyone else. It felt like Taylor was more straight than bisexual (I'm not talking about his internalized homophobia days right now). He had more chemistry with women than with Huck. Damn, he had more chemistry with Christian! This book is nearly 700 pages long but our main couple barely spent time together. Most of the times they were near each other, it was with a big company of friends in the room. They either fought or were glancing at each other while having fun with the friends. When they were alone, their conversations lacked romantic chemistry, their kisses didn't take my breath away. The sex was pretty basic and boring (there were a lot of sex in the third part and it felt so repetitive). It's really dry. It felt like the author was forcing the guys to be together and they didn't want to. And they've barely changed after high school. Yes, Taylor kinda acknowledged his mistakes and stopped beating shit out of Huckslee but other than that both characters didn't feel like grown-ups. They kept saying they're each other's forever but it was never proven with actions. See my problems with the book mentioned above. Huck and Taylor just talked about their feelings but never showed them. We were supposed to see Taylor when he was holding unconscious Huckslee in his hands. TIME JUMP!!! We were supposed to see at least a couple of times spent together during these two weeks after a fight with Logan but TIME JUMP!!! In the final act they finally spent time together but it felt like an unwanted, boring fluff — all "I love you baby" and "I wanna be with you forever" constantly. Ugh, I've got so tired. Somehow the plot disappeared during the part three. Let's not forget the most romantic moment in history: Taylor threw Huckslee a party in the same gym he had once outed him causing the suicide attempt! He could trigger him! (just so you know, Huckslee couldn't even live in his childhood home anymore because it triggered the memories but the gym was fine and romantic apparently. Yeah, sure).
I'm sorry, but even if we forget about the abuse the lack of chemistry killed the joy.

And I almost forgot to mention the miscommunications! They were super dumb and lazy. Yes, let's waste years of sobriety instead of talking because you saw your boyfriend being kissed by someone! Classic! By the way, they kept declaring their feelings to each other but then kept assuming the other was cheating like five seconds later. So much trust and love in this relationship! Hilarious.

In conclusion, I don't know If I can recommend this book. It's engaging at first but the third part was boring and repetitive. Also it's angsty at the start but the only time I cried is when I found out Lasagna the cat has died. If you're writing angst you need to add some breaks or reader's nervous system gets used to the angst pretty quickly and they won't feel anything anymore. Plus, this is a romance but I didn't feel any chemistry or love between the characters. I didn't care if they would stay together.

I want to finish this with Royce's quote which perfectly describes my feelings:
"He used to beat the shit out of you, call you names, totaled your car, and then outed you to your dad and everyone after you gave him your scholarship.” Royce sips his beer slowly, studying me. “I’m not one to judge, Huckslee, but that’s...wow.”

P.S. Wait, wait! I wanna add another one because it's priceless:
"Who would have thought? Taylor fucking Tottman, the kid that tormented me in high school daily, who constantly had me coming home covered in bruises, the boy who stole my first kiss and outed me to the entire community, would be mine? What’s even crazier is that I still fell in love with him despite it all."

[Tonya ✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

**Full ARC Review*

Huckslee and Taylor were dealing with so much behind the scenes and your heart just breaks for them. But then you fall in love with them at the same time. They are TOXIC ASF. The feel of found family of this book might also be one of my favorite parts of it.

Overall, I think Bree knocked it out of the park with this one. I've shead a few tears as also being stressed per usual when it comes to me reading books lol.