What My Brother Knew: A Memoir

by Kristina Amelong

For readers who were inspired by Alua Arthur’s  Briefly Perfectly Human , an emotional, eye-opening account of one woman’s journey from loss and abuse to healing and spiritual awakening. 

As a boy, Jay Amelong predicted the accident that caused his death, down to the color of the car that hit him. “I will die young, while riding my bike,” he told friends and family repeatedly. “It won’t be much longer, I want you to be prepared.” These were baffling words to hear from the mouth of a content thirteen-year-old—but when Kristina Amelong was only seventeen, her brother’s tragic death unfolded exactly as he said it would, radically changing her life.

Propelled down a self-destructive path of drug addiction and reckless sex, Kristina spent much of her young adult years wanting to die. Once or twice she came close. Always, Jay’s bizarre story and his inexplicable acceptance of his own death lived in her body.

More than thirty years after losing Jay, Kristina embarks on a journey of discovery, seeking truth about herself, her brother, and the universe. The result of her investigation is a memoir that defies belief. Charting a life path from loss and abuse to healing and spiritual awakening, What My Brother Knew demonstrates the transformative power of facing the mystery of death head-on and our incredible ability, as humans, to do just that.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Grief

287 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 27, 2025

Reviews

[Sally McQuillen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Right up my alley. A story of grief, love and healing. And I’m struck by how those who die young, often live life so fully and fearlessly. The author examines the death of her brother and her transformation as she looks for answers and opens up spiritual possibilities.

[Nicollette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kristina writes a well rounded vision to life after a significant loss and the impact it has on the loved ones surrounding. She shares her heart and her heartache through years of healing. Her story is inspiring to those who have lost, allowing them to see their own Blue Jay’s as they come. Thank you Kristina for sharing such a powerful story.

[Miriam Hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure that I was an early writing teacher and coach for this book.

Amazing. Just amazing. I knew all the stories from working together but the final shaping is beautiful. Such a life affirming and honest book about death at the same time. Yum.

[J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

With a fascinating premise and a brutally honest depiction of the struggle to wrap her mind around a side of reality most seem inclined to avoid, Amelong takes us along for the ride on her journey towards healing and widening her consciousness to encompass far more than she set out to discover. I highly recommend for anyone who has dealt with or is dealing with tragic or traumatic events in their lives.

[Crystal Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I briefly passed by Kris' booth at the Lit Fest in Chicago and so glad I did. This book was touching and thought provoking about how we move through life when tragedy unexpectedly finds us. Thank you for sharing your life experience with the world.

[Charlotte Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

What My Brother Knew by Kristina Amelong is a heartfelt memoir of her brother's death. But what makes it amazing is that her thirteen year-old brother predicted his own death, knowing that he would be struck by a green car while riding his bicycle. It's the story of the author's journey to understanding and processing what went on and the events surrounding his death. She interviewed a huge number of people including many of her brothers' friends. Some were more willing to talk than others. She also is brutally honest regarding her relationship to her mother and her own relationships. The reader finds out along the way that life is messy and when you encounter a tragedy of such depth, you simply can't process everything. It took the author years of interviews and introspection to get a clearer grasp of her brother's circumstances and come to an acceptance, if not understanding, of the time/mind/.body intersections. I found that reading about her neighborhood in Madison Wisconsin to be a story in itself. The author has an incredibly gifted writing style. At times it brought me to tears. She details scenes so exquisitely and she is not one to shy away from relationships gone sour. I loved the ending. It made the book complete. (I won't give any spoilers here, but suffice it to say it wrapped up in such a wonderful evocative manner.) If I could give the book more than five stars, I would.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poignant

I could identify with the author, Kristina Amelong in several areas of her life: trauma, having younger siblings (for me it is more than one), having a sibling that passed away young, having a father who was mostly absent except for a phone call here and there, having a stepfather and, my mom passed away just over two years ago from lung cancer.
I can't imagine knowing someone who not only KNEW they were going to die young but knew how yet wasn't afraid or trying to prevent it. Incredibly brave for someone so young and I wish he could have had all of his years here with his loved ones! I'm so sorry for your loss, Kristina... And also the loss of your mom.
Maybe it's because the book hit a little too close to home, but I couldn't really get into the book although I read every word! I can't say I "enjoyed" it because of the subject matter but I also didn't hate it. Kristina writes rather matter of factly which isn't a bad thing --although in several areas she talks about her emotions. That's what I used to do quite often. It wasn't intentional but I'd "intellectualize" what I had experienced and couldn't seem to fully touch my emotions. Perhaps I disassociated since that used to happen spontaneously when overwhelmed. It could be the big reason I gave the book a 3 star rating. I just wasn't feeling much of anything...

[Marty Ross-Dolen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“What My Brother Knew” is an extraordinary memoir. Kristina Amelong takes the reader on the journey she herself traveled following the tragic death of her younger brother when the two siblings were adolescents. Through beautiful language infused with deep love and loss, Amelong struggles to understand how her brother had in fact predicted his death in advance, down to the detail. Concurrent with her own recovery from addiction and the depths of despair, she takes on the sacred task of making sense of her brother’s premonitions and death by delving into the details through documents and interviews, searching for the answers that she believes she needs to have in order to heal. Ultimately, it is through the efforts to care for and repair her troubled relationship with her grief-stricken and terminally ill mother that Amelong finds the answers she most needs. Amelong’s writing is exquisite, especially when her words venture into vast descriptions and scenes set in the natural world. In these moments, the memoir sings. Highly recommend.

[Daniel McMeen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. It was engrossing because it was such a personal and emotional story that was told with remarkable courage and honesty. For me it was personal in that I lost a baby brother to a heart problem when he was 18 months, and I was eleven. Also deeply personal because I lost a son to suicide when he was 25. Also personal because I have known the author for several years and have come to have deep respect and admiration for her. This relates to my confidence in her honesty and thus to the authenticity of her experience.

As someone who appreciates good writing, although I have known the author as a deeply spiritual and intelligent person, I was still surprised by the quality of her writing. Its sense of timing and emphasis, as well as attention to detail combined with a skillful portrayal of historical truth in a gripping style makes her story hard to postpone its reading and impossible to dismiss.

[Mima Tipper · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this personal and gorgeously written memoir, Amelong investigates the trajectory of her own life through the lens of the tragic loss of her brother Jay. Killed by a car at 13, Jay’s death haunts Amelong, especially as Jay shared prescience about his death before the accident. This memoir is a grief narrative to be sure, but it is also a poignant interrogation of Amelong’s life and relationships, the nature of memory and death, and the healing power of dedicated reflection. I don’t want to give too much away, but know that in this memoir not only does Amelong dive deeply into many challenging conversations, but she also ponders many tough questions. Her writing is fearless! Highly recommend.

[Babs Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

What My Brother Knew by Kristina Amelong, isn’t just a memoir about loss. Amelong explores and wrestles with the shock of her brother’s eerie prediction of his own death. While on this journey, she discovers a deeper appreciation for the beauty of life itself.

Amelong doesn’t shy away from the painful parts of her own story. She shows the long, messy road toward healing, using self-destructive coping mechanisms followed by small breakthroughs of clarity and self-awareness. Kristina Amelong writes with raw honesty, inviting us into the unresolved places where grief and meaning crossover. A compelling and unusually honest account of loss and transformation.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredibly beautiful memoir that shows how powerfully healing love and tears can be even when the grief and trauma someone experienced are immense. The writing is vivid and the story poignant. I didn’t want to put it down. When I started reading I was worried it would be too intense but it wasn’t at all. Instead this is a story of restoration and healing, of mystery, discovery, and the endurance of a love connection beyond death. Highly recommend.

[Elin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshingly vulnerable and honest. This memoir has given me a lot to think about, and opens a door to self discovery and the opportunity to look at life through different lenses. Kristina’s writing is clear and concise yet descriptive in creative ways, making it a pleasure to read. I could feel what the characters were feeling and enjoyed this immensely while also experiencing heartbreak and healing.

[Maryellen Pellegrino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Kris, for writing so honestly about your life journey vis-a-vis your brother Jay‘s early death… The messages he left us… And how you have honored all of this for so many years… I was in his eighth grade class and I have carried all of these feelings about his death and how our culture responded in 1981.

[Dianne · Rating 5 out of 5]

When her younger brother predicts his own death and then dies at the age of thirteen, struck by a car while riding his bicycle, Kristina Amelong's life spirals out of control. What My Brother Knew is not only a powerful story of the courage and resilience it took for her to regain higher ground, but an intriguing glimpse at the paranormal. A fascinating read.

[Amanda Zirn Hudson]

TBR. Can't stop thinking about this one which has been described by the publisher as... "A TRUE STORY THAT DEFIES BELIEF: The unique tale of a brother who foretold his own death and a sister's search for the truth, this story is certain to grip readers from start to finish."

[Noboneslouise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, haunting and raw. I loved the vulnerability of this book I highly recommend.

[Marianne Pilger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life

I loved this memoir of family, love, pain and healing. Kristina captures all of her feelings and emotions. One of the best.

[Peg · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had a difficult time reading this book and it is obvious that the outcome caused her a lot of pain and she sought many avenues to help her cope.

[Marybeth S Cooper · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a very vulnerable, beautiful memoir.

[Katie Peck · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really hoping that the book would have given me more as I was really intrigued by the title. It was not so much what her brother knew, but her life grieving her brother's death.