Perfectly Damaged

by E.L. Montes

Due to possible triggers, sexual content, and language this book is intended for ages of 18+ PERFECTLY DAMAGED (STANDALONE) Schizoaffective a mental illness in which a person experiences a combination of mood disorder and schizophrenia symptoms. I know about this illness—very well—because I suffer from it. It’s been four years since my diagnosis, and ever since, I’ve been living in a dark hole. Voices constantly invading my thoughts. Hallucinations. All of which force me to question if what I’m experiencing is even reality. But here I am, still hanging on, still breathing and living through it. That is, until he stumbled into my life. Logan Reed. I don’t want any part of him. I’ve pushed him away, but he isn’t easily deterred. I’ve told him I’m different, but he doesn’t care. He’s trying to slowly break me down. I’m trying just as hard not to let him. He doesn’t know how truly damaged I am; what will happen when he does? I know the truth—he’ll never be able to look at me the same way again. Just like everybody else.

Genres: New Adult, Romance, Mental Illness, Contemporary, Adult, Contemporary Romance, Dark

372 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 8, 2014

About the author

USA Today Bestselling Author, E.L. Montes lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with her husband, Alex, and their English Bulldog name Butters! She has a Bachelor of Science in Legal Studies.

Ms. Montes, works full-time as a paralegal for a mid-size law firm. She had always loved the legal field and found it to be very interesting. She more so "secretly" loved to write. Disastrous was her debut novel which was released October 2012.

FOLLOW MS. MONTES BELOW:

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/E.L.MontesAu...

TWITTER: @EmmyMontes

WEBSTIE: WWW.BOOKSBYELMONTES.COM

Reviews

[E.L. Montes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm the author of this standalone; scheduled to be released late May 12, 2014. THIS is the exact date and it will be released on this date or sooner. Thank you so much for your interest!

[Christy · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Damaged Stars!!!



Perfectly Damaged is a emotional and beautiful story about learning to love your self and accepting love from others just the way you are. Mental illness is a topic that’s not often spoken about. You might read about bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression etc, but I’ve never read about anyone with schizoaffective disorder. It was very interesting and after doing some research, I can tell the author wrote this story realistically so bravo for that.



Jenna is not your average girl. She has an illness that others can’t always see. One that she can’t control. No matter how many meds she takes, or how much therapy she goes through some days, she just can’t turn off her mind. After losing the one person in the world who ‘got her’ always rallied for her and loved her unconditionally, (her sister, Brooke) things have been harder than normal. She has her father, who loves her dearly, but works a lot, and her best friend Charile, but that’s about it.

Jenna is out swimming one day and gets saved by Logan Reed. Logan works construction with his uncle and they are doing work on Jenna’s family guest house. Logan is attractive, he’s covered in tattoos.



When Jenna kisses him out of the blue to get rid of some guy, he is intrigued. And so is she.

For a short moment within that one kiss, I forgot who I was. The world around us was completely still. I was lost in the arms of a complete stranger. That’s what bothers me most: him. He bothers me. I know nothing about him, so how the hell could he make me feel so aline, so at peace, so... safe?

Logan and Jenna develop a wonderful friendship throughout the story. It’s obvious to everyone around them how attracted they are to one another, but Jenna can’t go there with him. She can’t go there with anyone. She can’t risk losing this boy she’s grown to care for a depend on.

Deep down I know he’ll never want to be with someone like me. The real me. The me he has yet to see. The question is if I keep spending time with him, will I be able to keep that part hidden?


Logan is not naive. He knows Jenna is going through something, he just doesn’t know what. All he knows is he wants her happy. He will be there for her, no matter what.

I want her to be surrounded with brightness in her life. I want her to fight through the darkness and find her light someday.


Logan Reed is a dream man. I love a cocky guy with tattoos, but this man is so much more than that. A guy who starts out as a player turns into a man who is a best friend, a confidant, someone who Jenna can count on. Someone who loves her deeply with out judging, who never gives up on her even when he finds out some of her issues. He is sweet, swoony and snarky at times. I adored him!

“I’m not going to give up on what we have over what you’re dealing with. We can take care of it together.”


Jenna was a heroine with some issues, but she was amazing. The strength she has after induing all she has in her life is astounding. I also loved Jenna’s dad and best friend, Charlie. Her mom was another story. I’m not sure if the things she said and did would ever be redeemable to me.

Watching Jenna and Logan go to friends to more was something special. The way Logan made Jenna feel and the way he loved her no matter what was inspiring.




The only reason I didn’t give this five stars was the fact that it took me a little while to connect with the story. It didn’t pull me in right away. That and the fact that it didn’t effect me like I expected it to. When I’ve read books like Find you In the Dark, Therapy and Reclaiming the Sand (Just to name a few) they had this automatic profound effect on me. I felt fully invested in those stories 100% of the time. This one took a while, but once I got further into the story I really loved it. The writing was fluid and loved the message it provided. That no matter who you are and what you’re going through in life, there are people out there who will love you with no judgments or reservations. If you’re looking for a beautiful love story with a swoony hero and a strong herione, this is one I’d recommend!



*ARC kindly provided in exchange for honest review*

[bibliophile (Romance Addict) · Rating 5 out of 5]

**FIVE Damaged stars**

“Each day is unexpected. No matter how hard you try,
you can never prepare for the life ahead.”

Synopsis:

Perfectly Damaged is a standalone book, which centers around a mentally ill girl. Jenna suffers from Schizoaffective disorder that cripples her daily life. After a very rough experience, she decides to shut herself off from the rest of the world, and never tell anyone about her disorder. After meeting Logan, she try her best to make everything seem alright, but what happen if he discovers her secret?

This book is a dual point of view, with Jenna and Logan. It also goes back and forth between the present and the past. The book does do all these point justice, and is understandable.

“Live for today, push for tomorrow,”

Characters:

Jenaa



Jenna is the main character in this book. At first, we get to see how she's fighting her disorder. We read about the symptoms she go through everyday, and how much this disorder is affecting her life. In Jenna's life, there are only few people who knows her, and knows about her disorder. Her mom, dad, and Charlie are the only people left for her until Logan comes along.

I love how Jenna was trying very hard to make her disorder a secret. I think it's very realistic and I have to clap to E.L. Montes because this book is very realistic.

“I’m alone in this shed. There’s no one watching”


“My thoughts are all I have and they’re the last things I want to keep me company. I’m a prisoner of my own mind, trapped with the unknown, angry voices.”

Logan



Logan is a playboy who never cared about relationships, until he meets Jenna. After the death of his brother Sean, he is never the same. He has no goal in life, and is trying hard to set his life straight but he never achieved that dream. Then he meet Jenna; the mysterious girl he gets interested in. As they get to know each other, he falls deeply in love with her, and want to be in her world.

I really like Logan, and his respect for Jenna. He is a mature character who treat Jenna with respect even though he is curious to know more about her. At first, I wasn't sure if I'll like him but he grew a lot on me, and by the time he met Jenna, I was rooting for him!

“Judgments are given so easily; learning about a person and their struggles is far more difficult.”

“There are times when you just want to give it all up. But then it goes on to say that maybe, just maybe, there’s a purpose in your life and that purpose could be sitting right next to you.”

Pros
I liked many things about this book.
The characters are very well developed, and we get to know them very well. I liked all the characters except the mom. I mean duh! Anyways, Jenna and Logan are very mature and caring about each other. I really enjoyed their relationship. However, these were times when I was very frustrated with them because I wanted them to be together but it's not possible. I even like the supporting characters like Charlie, and Santino. Charlie was very hilarious and the friendship she has with Jenna is real.

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.”

The book is very unpredictable. Yes! I thought I knew what was going to happen, but oh no! I so did not. There was a lot of things that happened, and my mind didn't even expect it.

The book is very realistic. Jenna's symptoms were described very clearly. We get inside the mind of mentally ill person, and it was a very good ride. I love how the writer showed the reality of how mentally ill people live in the world; in fear of other knowing. I was kind of confused at first because I didn't know what she was seeing is true or not, but then, we got to see how it's her disorder.

“Grief never goes away. It haunts you, taking over your mind,
body, and soul. Before you know it, it has won.”

Cons

This book deals with serious issues, and it's dark. I am totally okay with this because I love Psychology way too much which makes this point a plus for me.

I was a bit frustrated at Logan and Jenna's relationship. I just wanted them to get together, and I felt sorry for Logan because he felt bad many times. However, when we see it from Jenna's point of view, it is acceptable because it's hard to tell him the truth.

“Love is the devil in disguise.”

I wanted to hit the mom in her face! Please Lemme do it!

I think that's all the cons I can come up with because I seriously like this book!

“I hope that there’s a moment in everyone’s life when everything around them just stops. There’s no movement whatsoever, yet you feel…
Every. Single. Thing.”

“I breathe, I feel free, and I’m thankful that for today…
I am living.”

[Becca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is easily one of my top books for 2014. Jenna and Logan's story will push you to the edge of every emotion.

Emmy has done a fantastic job of character and story development. I believe she has grown by leaps and bounds, being able to take you into a story that deals with sensitive subjects with finesse and respect.

High recommend this story of finding ones self and learning to trust a love that seems unattainable.

[Wendy]

This book's description scares me but in a good way. I'm intrigued. Bring it on.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

New Adult Tropes: 20

“You know, I’m learning a lot, and there are times when it’s hard to love myself, but every time I think of you, I always think, if someone else can dig deep and fall in love with even my damaged side, then there is hope for me after all.”

Few things are as stigmatized as having a mental illness. I've met people who don't know how to react when hearing someone is diagnosed with a mental illness. Even when specifying what disorder it is, such as depression or bipolar disorder, they're still uncomfortable despite the two aforementioned are two of the most common disorders discussed openly. There are many misconceptions about mental illnesses going about, which is why it's so important to, when writing (or talking) about them, do it accurately to not feed these misconceptions.

It's also important - and I can't stress this point enough - to not romanticize mental illness. Which brings us right back to this book, Perfectly Damaged.

Jenna is a young woman who's lived with her parents her whole life. She's also diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which has made her parents incredibly protective of her, almost believing she isn't able to do things on her own. Jenna, to some extent, agrees. Although she'd like nothing more than to get out from under their watchful eyes - but they're almost never home - she still doubts herself and her abilities most of the time due to her mental disorder. Add the fact that her sister died a few months earlier, Jenna has now lost her most important supporter. When Jenna's mother decides to build a guesthouse, she hires a company to do it. Enter does Logan. After an awkward meeting where Logan saves Jenna's life, and then Jenna demanding he kiss her, they now spend the days rather close to each other. Jenna is hesitant to let him in due fearing he'll leave when he finds out about her diagnosis. And so the story goes.

It's sad to say, but this is exactly the same story as any other new adult story there is. We have all the usual elements: hot guy saving a damaged heroine from her insecurities and past. A heroine with a tense relationship to her parents. A best friend that's obsessed with sex (and unfortunately that's as much personality this woman gets). Both the heroine and the hero constantly slutshames, and their thoughts (and comments) are filled with misogyny. For good measure there's also the topics of suicide and rape as well as death of a close family member (actually, there are two).

So where does the mental illness join the story? To be perfectly clear: The mental illness aspect of this story appears to be more of an afterthought than the crucial aspect it should be. As said, this story is nothing different from a lot of other new adult stories, but instead of rape or past abuse - two of the most common devices in new adult - the mental illness takes their place. Jenna is damaged because of it. It causes the tension in the family. It's what holding Jenna back from pursuing a relationship (of any kind). And yet, the focus is always on the romantic tension between Jenna and Logan. The illness isn't a big part of the story and could've easily been replaced by something else as an excuse for Jenna to be "damaged".

That said, I'll be the first to admit I'm not familiar with Jenna's disorder. As far as I gather, it's a disorder with the same symptoms as schizofreni, but also of a mood disorder. In this story it means Jenna hear voices, has hallucinations, and has periods of depression. It needs to be mentioned that Jenna's episodes (as she calls them) often seems to be convenient plot devices to progress her relationship with Logan and little else. Anyhow, Jenna hears voices at times (although I only recall two instances in this novel) and sees hallucinations (also two, if my memory serves me right). These scenes were very generic, but that's all I can say.

However, I feel more confident talking about her periods of depression. To be blunt: they sound nothing like depression. Jenna, as it's written, is not depressed. She whines, complains, and is just plain pissed off. Which is not what depression is, and I'm speaking from experience here. Given how inaccurately portrayal of her periods of depression are, it's hard to determine if the other aspects of her mental illness are portrayed this way. Accurate portrayal of the mental disorder or not, the story nevertheless romanticizes the condition. Jenna focusing on Logan accepting - and loving - her "damaged" part. Logan being portrayed as something akin to Jenna's savior. It all adds to painting a romantic picture around the mental disorder. Instead of a story about a young woman learning to live with her disorder, it's a story about a woman waiting for a man to love her despite her mental disorder in hope of accepting herself by accepting his love.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly Damaged was a beautiful story about finding love and acceptance just the way you are. Our heroine, Jenna, suffers from mental illness and her story and struggle is told realistically, and honestly. It's told with compassion and dignity. It squashes stereotypes about people with mental illness, they're not crazy. They're just people needing love and acceptance. It's a beautiful story teaching us how the love from another can teach us to love our self. Love from another can give us hope, it can heal. I can't wait for May 12th when everyone can read this one.

[Christine]

I can't wait!!! Such a fan of Disastrous!!!

[Gina G · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to win an ARC of this truly brilliant book. This book truly will open your eyes about mental illness. The characters warm your heart and make you feel the emotions that they are feeling throughout the book. The storyline portrays in my eyes how mental illness plays out in a family. Love Logan and Jersey Girls journey. You will laugh, you will cry and your heart will break and then you will smile. Love this quote "Live today, push for tomorrow". This will be a book that stays with me forever. Will need the hard copy for the bookshelf.

[Gretchen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was excited to read this book, I really was. The concept is a good one, bringing light to the struggle those with mental illness face daily. But as I started reading through it, I began to feel like I was back in middle school, reading the damaged-girl-saved-by-understanding-boy fics that are so popular on youth writing websites. Perhaps the style just isn't for me, but the writing felt underdeveloped, a little awkward, and (for lack of a better description) over-explain-y where the narrators train of thought is used to keep the plot moving instead of action.

[L.B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to first of all like to applaud and commend E.L. Montes for tackling the subject of schizophrenia and all that accompanies it. Stepping out of the box isn't easy, but she did it beautifully and quite masterfully.

When we first meet Jenna, she is haunted, lost totally in her own mind as she is taunted by her voices. I could feel her frustration, her warring, her fear, and her grief as she experienced them. I love how we are shown exactly what is going on inside her head, because it really allows us as readers to identify with and understand her. But she is not without her own self-deprecating sense of humor, which I absolutely loved. Her journey was not easy, but so worth it. Goosebumps by the end. Loved watching her grow and face her fears.

Speaking of love...LOGAN! GAH! Loooooooved him. Nothing sexier than a sweet, loyal, fierce, man that wears...an old worn out Phillies cap. Seriously, I could picture it in my head and trust me, he was H-A-W-T. I loved his patience and persistence when it came to Jenna. I found it endearing and incredibly sexy.

Bring in the awesome and hilarious best friend, Charlie, and the evil mother from Hell, Mom, and you have one INCREDIBLY entertaining story.

I really loved this book. I was enthralled in the storyline. The uniqueness of subject matter definitely piqued my interest, but once I started, there was no turning back. I was hooked. There are several sad moments, several laugh out loud moments, several NOOOO! moments, and several swoon-errific moments.

Great writing, wonderful story, beautiful lesson. Everything a five star read should be. Congratulations on a job well done!!!

[Dusti Hanrahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4-4.5 'Jersey Girl" stars!

song: "Landscape" by Florence Welch (thank you Mud Vein for this musical treasure)

I really loved this book! I love the way E.L. Montes uses her platform to educate us about this disorder and helps remind us that everyone deserves a chance at love.
This was a super emotional story and I felt the profound struggle that Jenna faced w each day. This was beautifully written and I plan to read as much as I can by this author. Depression is everywhere and as much as we understand it we are even more clueless. Jenna is an example of how so many people live and struggle, and my heart goes out to all of those who relate to this story on a personal level.


Through 90% of this book I wanted, no I planned to give it a 5 star rating but I just felt the ending was rushed.

[Brandee - Brandee's Book Endings · Rating 5 out of 5]

NOW LIVE!
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1hDmpcD

5 Beautifully written stars

Make sure to add this one to your to read list - E.L. Montes has written a UNIQUE and beautiful story of love, loss, friendship, strength, redemption and hope. FULL REVIEW TO COME LATER.

[Irayda Moran (Quezada) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.. This is definitely a must read. Whether you know someone or have ever been affected by a mental disorder. You will feel and understand what Jenna is dealing with. I cried, I laughed and rooted for her tiill the end. Perfectly damaged was beautifully written and expressed.
Logan is swoon worthy to say the least. Jenna is beautiful and strong.
Out of all the chaos in Jenna's head emerges a strong and determind women, not because of a love but because it has always been there.
Just read it, it will not disappoint.

[Tara Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow!! I was given an arc for an honest review, I honestly don't know what to say with out revealing anything about this deeply moving love story.

[Willow · Rating 5 out of 5]

**ARC received for honest review**

"Everyone suffers from their own struggles, whether they're big or small. There's no such thing as having a flawless life."

Two things I absolutely love in books - something a little different from the norm and something we can all relate to in some way. This book has both. Yes we've all read books before where one of the main characters has issues, but I've not read a romance book where the main character has mental health issues and for me this book was more about this and the road to recovery than the romance. As for things we can all relate to, the line I quoted at the start is just one of many (I went highlighter crazy!) I think we will all relate to on some level - it's true, no matter how perfect someone's life appears to be, you never know what they are truly going through.

The book starts in true EL Montes style, with something that will keep you guessing what's happened. Jenna McDaniel has woken up from a nightmare and rushes to her sisters room, only to be met with what she expected, but hoped not to be true - it's empty. Brooke is no longer there. Through the book we learn that Brooke has died, however we are left guessing for sometime as to the how and why. Brooke's death has had a huge impact on Jenna as you can imagine and she is struggling with her grief:

"Grief never goes away. It haunts you, takes over your mind, body and soul. Before you know it, it has won."

But grief isn't all Jenna is going though. Jenna suffers from Schizoaffective disorder. She's depressed and suffers from hallucinations and occasionally voices in her head. This has lead her to be a closed person, she tries not to feel emotion, shutting herself off from the world.

"Fear is one of my most battled emotions. Fear of the unknown, of never knowing where each step will lead..... It terrifies me."

Jenna's mum has decided to build a guest house and on the construction team is Logan Reed.

"A truck. Tats. And a cocky attitude."

I totally loved Logan and his cocky attitude and I loved the banter that they had. On their first meeting he helps Jenna out of a difficult situation which ends up with them kissing.

"He's a good kisser. He tastes like an apple-flavoured Jolly Rancher, which is usually the one flavour I ditch in the pack; after this it may become my favourite."

Sure, Jenna enjoyed it and she is attracted to Logan, but she knows it was just a one off , it can never be anymore, no one will ever want to get close to her when they know all about her. Logan on the other hand thinks a little different. He can't stop thinking about the kiss and wants a repeat performance. As they see each other more, they become friends, Logan wants more though and knows that Jenna is hiding something, if only he can just peel her layers.

Jenna has a real struggle here, she knows what people think of her when they find out about her illness. Will it make Logan run too?

"Jenna McDaniel, the girl with more issues than she can carry. No man will ever be able to handle them. Not even Logan Reed."

As I said before, yes this is a romance book, but it's more about a person suffering with mental illness and the struggles they go through, not only do we watch Jenna struggling with her feeling for Logan, trying to keep him away, but wanting him close, Thinking it's best for him not to know about her illness and the everyday struggles she faces, but we see her dealing with her mother who is a major trigger for her. Readers, make no mistake, this woman is a total bitch, the way she treats Jenna by not supporting, but actually contributing to triggering episodes for Jenna will have you seething. Luckily she does have a best friend on her side, Charlie. Charlie was actually Jenna's sister, Brooke's best friend, but knowing of Jenna's illness Charlie looks out for her and the two became friends. I totally love Charlie, she adds some humour to the book.

The book is told from alternating points of view between Jenna and Logan, which was great seeing not only what Jenna was going through, but how Logan perceived her behaviour and how he felt about it. There was one part of the book though where I would have liked to have seen what Logan was going through but alas, we just got Jenna's pov. I understand why the author chose to do this though ~ I'm just greedy!

I think EL did a fantastic job of portraying the darkness a person feels they have in them and the fear that people might find out and what they would think of them. Also what others around them might have to deal with. There are several things in this book that anyone suffering with, or is supporting someone with depression or other mental illness will relate to.

I do want to just share one of my favourite lines ~ there's hope for us all:

" ..everyone has issues and there's someone out there, regardless of what you may think, who can handle anything you're dealing with - because maybe that person needs you as much as you need them."

In summary this book has got the right balance of being a great romance book, that highlights mental illness' and the struggles that those suffering with or trying to support someone with an illness has to go through, without it being too heavy.

"That's why I just live for today, and push for tomorrow."

For more reviews visit The Romance Cover

[Zakirrah BookBlogger · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Damaged Stars!!

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold.They believe that when somethings suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."

This is the second book I have read by E.L.Montes the first on being Disastrous which I also really enjoyed. Reading the synopsis I was intrigued to find out how this book would turn out but there was also the fear that it may be too depressing and that would put me off.
When I started it I was surprised to see that it was nothing like what I was expecting it to be! I really enjoyed this book and it really shows you how frightening it would be to be suffering from a mental disorder. You don't get cured some stay with you for the rest of your life and you have to learn to live with it.

I love how the author took on a subject like mental disorders and weaved it into something beautiful.A love story based on acceptance, love, patience, strength, struggle and much more!

Schizoaffective disorder: is a mental disorder characterized by disordered thought processes and abnormal emotional responses. Common symptoms of psychosis include auditory hallucinations, paranoid delusions..

Jenna McDaniels is a twenty-one year old young woman who looks totally normal on the outside..look a little closer and you find out that she isn't normal, she is suffering, struggling with a disorder that has taken over her life. She has Schizoaffective disorder, what is real? what is her imagination? A struggle to grasp reality and move forward she can't live a normal life.She is still living at home with a hateful mother and a father that is never home. And after the death of her sister who was the only one she could truly rely on things go from bad to worse. Her sisters friend Charlie helps out when her life is filled with darkness, she tries to help her keep going when she wants to give up.




Logan Reed is a twenty-six year old construction worker. Logan Reed works for his uncle’s construction company, a company that has been hired to build a guest house for the McDaniels. Hot, tattooed bad boy with a heart of gold! Logan's first encounter with Jenna isn't a normal one after saving her from drowning instead of being thankful she is pissed off and then she tells him that he is probably gay? Yeah not great but this encounter leaves an impression. Logan is supposed to be a bit of a player, someone who doesn't commit and is pretty much indifferent. That is until he meets Jenna, he knows there is something different about her but hasn't figured out what.He becomes an amazing friend to her, someone she can rely on and someone who makes her feel safe.

'For a short moment within that one kiss, I forgot who I was. The world around us was completely still. I was lost in the arms of a complete stranger. That’s what bothers me most: him. He bothers me. I know nothing about him, so how the hell could he make me feel so aline, so at peace, so... safe?'

Jenna hasn't told him about the disorder she is suffering from, she doesn't think he can handle it.Will she push him away, keep the secret hidden or let it all out and let him decide?

I loved how supportive and affectionate Logan was, how patient and gentle he was and how he seemed so perfect yet when you find out about his past..he feels real. His past makes him stronger, his struggles made him better which made him the perfect guy for Jenna. She needed everything he had, the strength to carry on and get better, to never give up. She learns to love herself that is a big part to the story, loving yourself and having confidence in yourself gets you a long way. The dual POV is exactly what I needed,I think its the main reason this didn't get really depressing and put me off!

I want her to be surrounded with brightness in her life. I want her to fight through the darkness and find her light someday.

I think we should have more books on mental disorders and make more people aware of what some individuals are going through.Many times throughout this book I tried putting myself in Jenna's place and it's pretty scary to not have a grip on reality. The voices would totally kill me and you never really wonder how many people live with this everyday and will live with it for the rest of their lives.Something that is constant for them, their struggles, fighting the depression and trying to carry on with life. Hats off to all the strong people out there!

**ARC provided for an honest review**

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[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perfectly Damaged
By E.L. Montes

Rating: 4.5 Stars

Summary

Schizoaffective disorder: a mental illness in which a person experiences a combination of mood disorder and schizophrenia symptoms.
I know about this illness—very well—because I suffer from it. It’s been four years since my diagnosis, and ever since, I’ve been living in a dark hole. Voices constantly invading my thoughts. Hallucinations. All of which force me to question if what I’m experiencing is even reality.

But here I am, still hanging on, still breathing and living through it.

That is, until he stumbled into my life. Logan Reed. I don’t want any part of him. I’ve pushed him away, but he isn’t easily deterred. I’ve told him I’m different, but he doesn’t care. He’s trying to slowly break me down. I’m trying just as hard not to let him. He doesn’t know how truly damaged I am; what will happen when he does?

I know the truth—he’ll never be able to look at me the same way again. Just like everybody else

My Thoughts:

I am a big fan of E.L. Montes. I have had the honor of meeting her on a few different occasions. She is a beautiful soul. That is proven by the writing in this book. She did an absolutely wonderful job writing about such a sensitive subject. I know how much time and research she put into this story. She was very passionate about it. She put her soul on the pages of this book. So congratulations E.L. Montes, Bravo!

In this book we learn about Jenna and her battle with Schizoaffective disorder. we learn about how this disorder affects Jenna, but also how it affects the people who love and care for her. We learn about the tragedy she has been faced with in her life and how she tries to overcome it.

After the a tragic event in her life Jenna started to go down hill. Her and her family were morning and they all handed it differently. What should have brought them closer some how started to tear them apart. Jenna started hearing and seeing things that weren't really there. When she mentioned it to her family they thought she was playing a cruel joke.

Jenna's best friend was the only person she had to lean on. Even though Jenna was a difficult friend Charlie always stood by her and tried to support her in anyway she could.

Jenna's parents want to surprise her for her upcoming birthday with a new guest house. So she contracts a company to come and do the work.

That is how Jenna and Logan meet.

Logan Reed has had a hard life too. After experiencing a very similar event in his life, he did what ever he could to cope.

He works for his uncle now and is keeping his life on the right path. That path just happened to cross with Jenna's. Even though their first encounter wasn't the best, they become friends.

Logan doesn't know about Jenna's condition or of her past. She finally found someone who doesn't judge her or pity her for what she is going through. He always seems to be in the right place at the right time and he knows how to keep his mouth shut and not push her to answer questions she obviously doesn't want to answer. He is her knight is shinning armor.

"My mother's advice hums through my mind as I put the car in drive. She said when a woman is pissed, leave her alone to cool off, but never leave her side, because if she's in need of a hug, you'll be the first person she'll find." ~Logan

(I love this scene! It really is such good advice. This quote has stuck with me for a month now.)

Jenna knows that she has feelings for Logan, but she doesn't think he will stay if he knows the truth. So she keeps putting off the inevitable.

"I'm never giving up on what we have, Jenna." ~Logan

I am not going to go into any more detail about the story itself. It is an amazing story of courage, love and loyalty. It is a MUST read. I know you will all laugh and cry right along with the rest of us.

"Live today, push for tomorrow," ~Jenna

*arc provided for review.

[Giselle *Hopeless Book Lover* · Rating 5 out of 5]

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Giselle’s Review:

My immediate thought after reading the last line in Perfectly Damaged was: Wait. Where are the other pages?! That’s it? What?! Oh god, it says Authors Notes, it’s over.

Now, I know what you are thinking. This book must have a cliff-hanger or a not so happily ever after… wrong. I just did not want this book to ever end! However, eventually all stories must come to an end, and with bloggers the end of a book usually signifies the start of a review.

If you’ve read the description for Perfectly Damaged (which I’m hoping you have, since it is located above), you may get the sense that this is not a light read, and well, it isn’t. However, the beginning of Perfectly Damaged was not as dark as I expected it to be. This was something that I thoroughly enjoyed because it surprised me. Perfectly Damaged deals with some extremely heavy subjects but the fact the E.L. Montes can add this almost light feel at the beginning of her novel to what is such a dark topic, made me really enjoy this novel.

That is not to say that this book will not have tears forming in your eyes, because several scenes did just that to me. First off, I am not a big crier. The last movie that made me cry/sob was Marley and Me, and that may just be because I love more dogs than people. So the fact that this novel was capable of forming actual tears in my eyes is huge and is proof of how truly beautiful this book is.

Perfectly Damaged has such incredibly strong characters that you will truly FEEL with them, especially Jenna. You will struggle with Jenna, you will cry with Jenna, you will love and succeed with Jenna because THAT is how strong of a character she is. You will also struggle with Logan, laugh with Logan, and fall madly, deeply, in love with Logan, because of his humor, his wit, his compassion, and so much more.

The writing and plot in this novel is impeccable and further proves my theory that E.L. Montes knows exactly how to keep eyes glued to reading devices. Her writing flows so well and makes you feel as if you are truly going through every single moment with these characters. Oh, I also adored the dual POV, and this novel would have not been complete without that, so thank you very much E.L. Montes for letting us get inside Logan’s head. <3

Perfectly Damaged is captivating, awe-inspiring, beautiful, funny, romantic, sad, and heartwarming. It will have you smiling, giggling, and yes, probably even crying. It will draw you in from page one and not let you go till the last word in the last sentence. Perfectly Damaged is everything one looks for in a novel about struggle, and overcoming those struggles and hardships. So many things are thrown our way that are out of our control, and sometimes we just have to learn to embrace or deal with whats in front of us and learn to overcome our fears.

This stand-alone novel is one that no one will want to miss out on. It is one that I will highly, highly recommend to any and all of my friends, and one that will leave its mark.

Quotes from Perfectly Damaged:

“No matter how strong of a person I struggle to be, the fact still remains—even the strongest fall through the cracks sometimes.”

“Until now I hadn’t realized that Logan has been undressing me from the very first time we met. Slowly, layer-by-layer, he removed the facade that hid the real me beneath.”

“We view life as more of a test, one that’s trying to beat us down every day to see if we’re strong enough to keep going.” I lightly shrug. “That’s why I just live today and push for tomorrow.”

My Playlist for Perfectly Damaged:

This Is Living by General Fiasco

I Will Wait For You by Us

Undone by Haley Reinhart

Between The Raindrops by Lifehouse

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I’m in my early twenties and my parents control every I do. It’s as if I have no say whatsoever in my life. Sure, they’re never here physically, but they manage to control every little thing anyway: school, work, therapy. For once I just wanted to feel in control. They treat me like I’m incapable of doing anything. Like I’m a pet puppy who can’t be left alone without destroying every, so they keep me caged.”

This is what life is like for Jenna McDaniel how has been diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. Which can be described as a condition in which a person experiences a combination of schizophrenia symptoms — such as hallucinations or delusions — and mood disorder symptoms, such as mania or depression. Even though I know nothing about this disease, EL Montes does an amazing job making me feel like I was in Jenna’s head, like I was there with her. To her, the voices and the hallucinations are real. She tries so hard to try to live a normal life but her Mother does her best to keep her under her control. Mental illness runs in their family and her Mother doesn’t want it to get out as she is all about appearances. Jenna has one person in her life that makes her feel normal, her best friend Charlie. Charlie is that best friend we all want in our corner. She has that unconditional love for Jenna. She knows she has been through hell and back and is there every step of the way, pushing her to not wallow in self-pity… to get her up and out the door when she needs it.

When Jenna’s mother decides to build an additional building on their property, little did Jenna know her life was about to change. Enter Logan Reed. He is the hunky construction worker that has his own baggage. He has experienced his own loss and knows what struggles go with it. While Jenna attempts to find solace at the bottom of a pool, Logan dives in saves her. This will be the beginning of their relationship as Logan cannot get Jenna out of his system. They quickly go into a friend role. Logan feels more for Jenna but doesn’t push her. She is a closed book and he is patient with her. Jenna knows that she is not ready to get into a relationship.

“I could never fool the villains inside my head. I will always be me: Jenna McDaniel, the girl with more issues than she can carry. No man will ever be able to handle them. Not even Logan Reed.”

You gotta love Logan because he is nothing but patient with Jenna. He knows she is special and worth waiting for. He is willing to wait for her until she is ready. He knows that her inner beauty is more beautiful than her outer beauty. He just gets her.

“Jenna is the kind of beautiful that I can get lost in. Lost from all the fucked-up-ness in my head. She’s the kind of beautiful that laughs at all my nonfunny jokes because she gets me. She the kind of beautiful that’ll put me in my place without batting an eye. Jenna is the kind of beautiful that can transform a nonbelieving man like me into a man who wants more. A man who can fall hard, stumbling over his own two feet because he’s so tangled up in her.”

I really enjoyed the relationship that grew between Logan and Jenna but just wished it developed quicker. That would be my only complaint. I loved that even though Jenna felt she was literally losing her mind, Logan was there for her through it all. It’s a beautiful story about love and relationship. Mental illness is a tough subject to tackle and EL Montes does an amazing job breaking the story to life and I feel in love with the characters and wanted them to find their HEA.

[Stephanie- The Boyfriend Bookmark · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is no way to sugarcoat this book. It is higly intense and emotional. It broke every barrier that I could possibly have put in place and hit me so hard. It was amazingly written and hard to accept. It was moving, touching and so completely spell-binding. It was like nothing I have read before and I cannot imagine anything thing like this ever happening to anyone I know, but the reality is, this is a big reality for so many people out there. This book just moved me beyond words.

Jenna is different. She is beautiful on the outside but so tragically broken on the inside. She knows that when people see what is truly there, they will run. That’s what always happens. She doesn’t want to be looked at differently, she doesn’t want to battle this alone, but somehow both of those things occur on a regular basis. But the demons she faces on the inside are so much scarier than you could ever imagine. She knows she has an illness. She knows that she is not ok on the inside. But she is strong and she is determined. She will not let anyone in because once they find out, all bets are off and they will run leaving her all alone again.

Logan is just your average guy. He doesn’t have the perfect life, but he makes it work for him. But everything changes in an instant the moment he pulls Jenna out of that pool. He knows with one kiss that he will never been the same guy he has always been. He knows in an instant that she is something special. She gets under his skin and no matter what she does to push him away, he is not going anywhere. He sees something special in Jenna, even if she can’t see it. He sees something there. Could she be his forever?

When fates puts these two together, you wish, you pray and you hope with everything you have that he is going to be the one to pull her out of the darkness. But there is always one thing that keeps pushing her back, until he can figure out what it is, there is no telling what will happen. But still, you continue to wish, pray and hope.

This book was so much more than a cute little love story. It was heartbreakingly beautiful. Jenna and Logan’s story is beautiful. It is a reminder that faith and hope can do so much. It isn’t always what makes it better, but it is always a great place to start.

E.L. Montes does something so unique with this book. It is a poignent look at a scary disorder. This wasn’t just another book, it was a powerful story of love, loss, acceptance and most of all, life. The greatest gifts we are given in life are sometimes the ones that go unseen, but stay with us in our hearts forever. This book is one of those gifts. It is moving and touching and powerful.

Compassion and understanding are such beautiful traits to have, but when you see them in the light of a story like this, your heart just succumbs to them. This book blew me away and was like nothing I have ever read before. I didn’t see it coming, but I am glad it did. This book is worth five stars and more. E.L. Montes has written such a touching and beautiful story here that just touched so many emotions.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was most drawn to this book because of the blurb. When I learned that the book was about a heroine who had schizoaffective disorder, I knew this was right up my alley. I have a background in Psychology so I was most interested to see how E.L. Montes was going to pull this off. These types of characters are difficult to write because they are trouble and often misunderstood. I wanted to see how she was going to handle that side of her character while also making her likeable.

To be honest, I had a hard time liking heroine, Jenna. She comes across as very standoffish to everyone including her therapist, who I didn’t think tried to pressure her into anything that wasn’t good for her. Her relationship with her family is a little strained. Sometimes they get along, other times they don’t.

When Jenna first meets Logan, he has just “saved her life” and she bursts out with a lot of accusations. Logan doesn’t find it attractive and says something back. However, in an attempt to make someone jealous, Jenna asks Logan to kiss her and that’s when she wonders if she really hates this guy or not.

Logan and Jenna have chemistry, but they also start with not liking it each other much in the beginning. For this reason, I found the attraction to be superficial. Logan’s POV often comes across as a player and I couldn’t invest in him a lot.

Now a little more on the schizoaffective side of the story because that was what I was most interested in with this story. For the most part, I thought Montes handled it okay. I especially liked the hallucinations with her sister. Those turned out to be very interested. However, like I said, Jenna is hard to understand sometimes. I wondered if it was strictly a case of the disorder that prevented me from fully investing in her character. However, I found that I felt the same with Logan’s character as well. Something just didn’t click.

In the end, PERFECTLY DAMAGED turned out to be a pleasant read, exploring the depths of a psychological disorder.

*ARC provided by author

[Haley · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 AMAZING STARS!

Perfectly Damaged was unlike any story I have ever read. I’ve read books where the characters have mental illnesses, but never to this degree.

Jenna has schizoaffective disorder, which is a mental illness in which a person experiences a combination of mood disorder and schizophrenia symptoms. She has her highs and lows, hears voices in her head and has hallucinations. On top of her mental illness, she has recently lost her sister and is dealing with how to cope with that.

    
 “When you lose the only person who made sense in your life, the only person who helped you fight your battles, the one who helped you with your struggles, the only person you felt sane around, your entire world comes crashing down. And that’s not even the best description. You become vacant, hollow. You can’t breathe. The world around you is a complete haze; nothing is clear anymore. You’re constantly fighting to live because you were only truly living when they were around”
  

Then we meet Logan. Logan is working for his uncles construction company and lands a job building a guesthouse for Jenna’s parents. Logan is immediately interested in Jenna and doesn’t hide it. They slowly make a connection but Jenna is afraid that if Logan finds out about her illness, he will break her heart like her first love did.

I really loved this story. I’ve never known anyone with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder so to be able to read and get a small glimpse of what people with these mental illnesses go through was really eye opening.

The secondary characters were awesome as well. Charlie is an amazing friend to Jenna and I think anyone would be lucky to have a friend like her. The only complaint I have for this story is I wish there was more to the ending. I don’t know if EL Montes plans to write another book about Jenna or Logan, but I want more!!!!!

[Tiana · Rating 1 out of 5]

I lost track the amount of times it was said that the main character, Jenna, wasn't normal or stereotypical. To me, that's all that she was; plainly normal, unoriginal, stereotypical and annoying. Yeah, she had a mental illness, but I feel the author skipped over the struggles of it; it was mentioned, it came up regularly, but it was skimmed over in the sense of how it should have affected her every day life, how the normal day-to-day experiences can be difficult and challenging, it wasn't emotional, and it was shoved in the background when the romance started. Apparently Jenna had Anxiety; hmmm, I beg to differ. Her actions showed me that she was very capable. It was repeated too much how different Jenna was from any average girl her age, like the author was trying to convince the readers that she was different, but she tried too hard. Jenna wasn't different. None of the characters were. They were all predictable and their personalities were dry and cliche. I don't think this author understands what a mental illness does to someone. I feel the disorders used in this story were just an excuse to make Jenna seem abnormal, and to justify her actions. Pretty pathetic. Apparently, according to this authors writing, a mental illness isn't such a big deal and it can all be cured with a tattooed, hot-hunk of a man who is as dull as bricks. No, thanks—not the story for me.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being a medical professional by day, I was very excited to read this book and to see mental illness being tackled in a romance novel format. Ms. Montes does an exceptional job at painting a realistic picture of what a person living with schizoaffective disorder goes through, but I felt like it overshadowed the rest of her personality and I had trouble believing Logan would wait around for the few little glimpses we did see. But, he's clearly a better person than most and as good a book boyfriend as it gets. Hot and sweet and kind and more patient than a saint...yes, he's pretty much perfect. He, along with all the characters really, came across as much younger than they were stated to be. The story dragged in the middle while we were kept waiting for the big reveal -- which came frustratingly late in the game. While there was a ton of drama over the whole novel, it was more a steady trickle than one big rush at the end, which left me feeling just a bit disappointed. Most definitely a book worth reading, and I hope a lot of people do, but lacking some elements that would make it a great romance novel.

Perfectly Damaged: 3.5/5 stars

Note: A copy of this book was provided in exchange of an honest review.

[Brit · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just have to say is WOW. This book was beyond amazing. One of the best books I've read this year to date. I love how E.L. Montes portrays/captures the pain and anguish of mental illness not a lot of authors can.
I felt deeply connected to the characters throughout their journey in perfectly damaged. I just knew this was going to be a 5 star read and I was right.
I also love how this book was written in dual perspectives so we know how the other person is feeling and how they come about knowing about the mental illness.
This book will push you to feel. You will laugh and you will cry. and every emotion in-between.
I highly recommend you buy this or put it on your TBR. And I also applaud the author on this amazing story. it will truly stay with me.

[J.M. LaRocca · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Going through the journey with Jenna was beautiful. All the things that she went through daily. The doubts that she had, the fears. It all led to a beautiful story. I laughed, I cried, and I swooned over Logan. This book had everything I look for and it's a definite must read.

[Tiffany · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was heavy and deep.

Instead of handling it with sexy stuff, with humor, or with unrealistic adoration it was real. It covered some nasty things in a slow and unraveling way. It was raw, frustrating, ugly, and sad. But I appreciated the approach all the more for it.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOVED THIS BOOK!!!! The only thing I disliked is kinda how it ended, I wanted more.... I just didn't feel like it was wrapped up enough for me. An epilogue would have been nice to have.

[Drea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terribly written, and a quite frankly insulting portrayal of mental illness. The characters are unlikable assholes. That's all you really need to know. Don't read this book.