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Xander Barns #1

Always Wanted

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Author's note 'This book is a dark satire. It contains coarse language and includes violent and sexual scenes that may be offending. Recommended for ages 18+'


If someone were to have told me a year ago, that by the end of this year I was going to break up with Ben my boyfriend of five years and leave my family home to move to a different city to start a new life, I’d have told them they were crazy. There was no way something like that could happen. Ever!

It did happen.

Twenty two year old university drop out Marisa Gellys' relaxed lifestyle takes a turn for the worse when she arrives early at Kyle Matthews’ annual Halloween Bash to find her boyfriend making out with another girl. Heartbroken she sets off to a brand new city to get away from her family who thinks she’s made the biggest mistake of her life, breaking up with Ben.

For the first time in her life, Marisa’s doing everything on her own and she loves it. A brand new city, a brand (sort of) new job, and a hunky, dreamy late night customer who shows her the kinds of things he likes to do.

Welcome to the ride.

This year will be nothing like last year.

This is not a standalone novel. Book 1 in the Xander Barns Series.

ebook

First published June 5, 2013

46 people are currently reading
738 people want to read

About the author

Sarah Tork

27 books238 followers
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5 stars
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363 (31%)
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116 (9%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 119 reviews
Profile Image for Stefanie.
914 reviews46 followers
June 14, 2013
All I keep asking myself is why. Why did I just waste 3hrs reading this book. The book made absolutely no sense but I couldn't stop reading it. Marisa was pathetic, weak, and naive...who befriends a complete stranger (although he is very hot) and allows him in ur room. And I still have no clue how he got her number let alone found out where she was staying at. And completely confused by Xander's character. One moment I'm completely disgusted by his admission to wearing women's panties, not to mention he gives Marisa a pair of worn thongs (given to him by a skank he met at the club) then he does something nice for Marisa (paying for her make over). Then suddenly and abruptly the story fucking ends. I mean seriously wth. So if my opinion/review matters please wait until the next book is released before reading this one. Btw the author said she is writing the next one as we speak and should be released sometime next month.
Profile Image for Mags.
359 reviews134 followers
January 10, 2023
Imagine Cinderella ....

But instead of



She gets


Yep that's Ryan Gosling

And of couse, he wants to b@ng her ... he did ... sort of ... I think ... well ... that was a wild night and she can't remember a thing ...

I'm curious about Part II ... *sigh* yes, I'll read it ...

SPOILERS AHEAD ... BEWARE!!!

Ohhh and BTW ... there was a part where I was laughing so hard ... so the guy was seducing her and he says

"Not asking you what I've wanted to since the train."
"Okay ... What's that?"
"Can I try on your underwear?"
My head jerked back from his shoulder in alarm. "What?!"
"Baby, please, let me try on your underwear."
.
.
.
"Yeah, so what? It's not a big deal."
"It is a big deal," I retorted. "And you'd probably rip them!"
"No, they wouldn't, my ass is smaller than yours!"
"How dare you! My ass is not bigger than yours, you're a guy!"



WTF!!!!???? I know .... WTF!!!??? But don't worry, he didn't wear her underwear ...

And the other best quote ...

"I did my best Sailor Moon pose before strolling over the mop closet like a fierce diva."






------------------
IG @cafecitoxlibros
Profile Image for Mim.
47 reviews
July 22, 2013
There's a fine line between being confident and being a dick. Xander Barns the love interest in this story is so far over this line there is no grey area. He is not only a dick, he is a creepy dick.

You will like this book if:

1. You are okay with slut shaming.
2. You find douche bags sexy.
3. You find stalkers sexy.
4. You find guys who get you so drunk you don't remember what happened sexy.
5. You find guys who like wearing women's underwear sexy. (Not judging, I just don't find it sexy.)
6. You find a guy who invites another girl to make out with/have sex with while on a date with you sexy.
7. You find guys who puts a strange woman's (the woman who he made out with/had sex with) lace thong on you while you are passed out drunk sexy.
8. You are okay with a heroine/protagonist who is tstl and a future serial killer victim.

You will like this book if you are okay with those things. It should also be noted that this is not a full book, but rather just the first installment.

Also thank god I didn't pay for this book. It was free on Amazon. Obviously I will not be reading the rest of this.
Profile Image for Lietzel.
47 reviews23 followers
June 17, 2013
Oh man I'm still laughing! Hard to gather my thoughts....okay, I'm good!

So at first this book reminded me a lot of Sarah's book Young Annabelle. Mostly with the crappy mother and family issues. I also felt like the main character was a little immature at first, but once she was away from her family that seemed to change. As it went on however I found it to get more intriguing. Then it started to feel like any other romance novel, but it never progressed in the 'typical' way one might expect it to. And then the good stuff came...ha! I'm still dying and can't get over the shock of Xander asking for her panties!! It almost seemed like the story would take a weird, almost criminal turn there, then of course it didn't. I loved how they ended up at an exclusive club and everything was very realistic as far as the story was concerned.

I don't even know what else to say. I enjoyed it, it made me laugh so many times! After Xander acting so weird and then normal when drunk and then treating Marisa like some kind of princess which confused her because she's not used to any such treatment...what is there to say? It's a fun filled story and I'm excited to see what happens with Xander and Marisa's relationship in the next part of the story. Especially since it wasn't a "love at first sight" thing. Aside from his dashing good looks, their personalities didn't seem very compatible which made everything more interesting.

Oh and the inner dialogue is fantastic! At one point Marisa said she "felt like a nun in heat" so great. Once you get invested in the characters there's definitely some humor in there. Whether it was intended or not...well who cares.

I hope this is more helpful than confusing to those of you wondering if you should read this, I just finished it and haven't really processed the book yet so please forgive my sporadic thoughts
Profile Image for Sequoia.
371 reviews4 followers
July 26, 2013
This was meant to be a five minute break. Next thing I know, I'm annoyed because its over. OMG, this book is freakishly hilarious!!! So fuckin outrageous that you can't put it down. Xander is... Xander is... Just fucking priceless. There's no other words for it. I'm still laughing my ass off at the absurdity of it all... Omg read this book. It doesn't have sex scenes, just a little talk, but its SOOOOOO freakin worth it.

Xander's request is... The kind of moment when you have to put the book down because its so outrageously outrageous. OMG I met the perfect epitome of hotness!!! The. In the next second, wtf? LMAO

I'm crying. This is too much.

Overall, the heroine is strong, I'm not just super keen on the writer's style, especially the inner monologues... Maybe an 7/10. However, the male lead if a 10/10, and the heroine is a 7/10... Make that 8.5/10 because of her strength is putting up with her verbally abusive mother and cheating scumbag of an ex.

Freakin... Where's the sequel?
Profile Image for Heather andrews.
9,520 reviews162 followers
June 9, 2013
Not really paying attention to what the blurb was I just picked the book up because of the cover haha, and I wasn't disappointed. What I was disappointed in was how much of a b-i-t-c-h Marisa's mother was, "you know," Mom began, "I'm not surprised. Not surprised at all... That boy has had enough! We've all had enough!" Shut your face Ma you only care about your image and not your daughter that is both sick and sad. Marisa is easily star struck, or should I say man struck haha, "I'm sorry, sir, I mean, I don't mean it like that. You're not old. At all. You're young...Umm..." Xander he's an interesting fellow, thought he was kinda creepy but I guess he grows on you, "no problem, Marisa. Unlike you, I like it when people stare at me, especially cute girls like you." I really hope in the next book we figure out who and what exactly Xander is that's why I hate reading series it always ends before you know anything, "you can and you will, and I'm very serious. If only you could feel my hard-on you'd realize how important, how serious this situation is." Ready for the next installment.
Profile Image for Coco.V.
50k reviews129 followers
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October 12, 2021
🎁 FREE on Amazon today (5/15/2019)! 🎁
220 reviews3 followers
June 9, 2013
A short story is one thing but this book just ends. I believe it's one of those books that the author is writing in installments. It would be appreciated to know this before I start to read it.
Profile Image for ~ Stephanie Lynn ~.
430 reviews
June 30, 2013
The story starts out great, and I found Marissa's family disturbingly amusing. Xander starts out good, then he just gets so freakin creepy. I still can't figure out how he found out where she was staying... Where all his money came from? Was he interested in her or did he just want to wear her panties (I mean I love kink!!!). It was just strange. Was he gay? ( that is not a problem for me) Was he Bi (again not a problem). There was a lot of WHAT? WAIT questions when reading this book. Hell I was so lost and confused during some of it I thought I had skipped pages because it made no sense. I don't know if the author was going for a Dom image with Xander, if so it never got there. I don't know what the author was trying to do with this story. I can't see this 'book' going anywhere I would want to follow. I only even picked up the book because I thought it was a novella and it had good reviews plus it was FREE...There are others that follow but heck I had such a hard time with this one that I am going to pass on the others I mean I really don't want to know what happens and that is sad because I try and give all books a chance when the first book is not all that good but keeps me some what entertained. I am sorry but this was not for me.
Profile Image for iamo  ut lego.
80 reviews6 followers
October 28, 2013
OK i dont understand why people dont like this book Honestly this book is actually good, i enjoyed reading it from start to finish.

i love marissa she is so like me the way she goes into her own world with her thinking that is exactly what I do, its funny how she goes into deep thought when thinking about Xander ( grrrrr grrr and GRRRRRRRR)

NOW

Xander what can i say alot of people have been saysing he is a wiredo or freak, stalker but to be HONEST i FREAKING LOVE IT AND HIM i Love how he THINKS i love how OPEN he is about what he wants oh and the Panties Thing about wanting to try her panties on should of freaked me out but instead It thrilled me ( omg what does that say about be) any way this books is funny,witty and great.
Profile Image for Dianne.
868 reviews35 followers
November 10, 2013
2.5 stars. I hate writing reviews on my iPad but this was such a ridiculous story I had to vent. First off, I though this was a story about a girl who gets cheated by her boyfriend and treated crappily by her family that she was going to find a great guy who would make up for that. Instead I got a weird and depressing story. The main character, Marisa is down right now but I thought when she met the handsome, rich Xander she would get her happy ending. However that did not happen. Instead she gets a weirdo named Xander who wants to wear her underwear and also does other weird stuff to her. Throughout the book, Xander just keeps losing and losing his sex appeal. I was just not a fan of him. In the end, the story was then cut abruptly and you realize nothing really happens in this book besides Xander's weirdness and her makeover. The story was just so stupid but I have a feeling I will still read the sequel to know what happens to Marisa. I know I'm pathetic but I hate when shit ends like that! Anyways off to read the sequel (unfortunately).
Profile Image for Jade.
3 reviews1 follower
December 21, 2013
I started off genuinely liking this book. I liked how Marisa got out from under her bitch mum and was living her life the way she wanted to, despite the crap she got from everyone for it! It had all the makings of hot billionaire/CEO kind of story, maybe with a bit of dom/sub twist (regarding his reaction to when she calls him sir!) but then it just....didn't! It went off on a complete tangent that I didn't really find very appealing and ended with his nice gesture. If all the middle weird crap was cut out I would have loved this because it definitely falls into the kind of books I like (I'm a bit of a sucker for the generic Cinderella style romance, ever since FSOG!). But alas, I was left feeling quite disappointed :(
Profile Image for Black Butterfly.
2,642 reviews39 followers
August 7, 2013
THIS WAS JUST A TEASER BOOK (100-pages)OF AN UPCOMING SERIES. WELL THIS WAS FREE ON AMAZON. . .WHAT CAN I SAY? HMmm! DID I SAY FREE? VERY WEIRD STORYLINE DIDN'T REALLY TELL A WHOLE LOT. WE LEARN ABOUT MARISA THE WEAK FEMALE LEAD AND HER HORRIBLE FAMILY, BOYFRIEND, HER LIFE IN DETAIL AND THE MYSTERIOUS KINDA CREEPY LEAD MALE XANDER BARNS. NO EXPLANATION ABOUT THE STRANGE STUFF THAT STARTS TO HAPPEN. SINCE IT IS A CLIFFHANGER IT CUTS OFF WHEN IT STARTS TO GET INTERESTING. AT THIS TIME I COULD NOT FIND A SECOND INSTALLMENT ANYWHERE. OH WELL, IT WAS FREE, THINK I SAID THAT ALREADY. ;D
Profile Image for CasPerfitz~SLiTsReaD.
649 reviews41 followers
June 6, 2013
well, okay maybe 3.5, I don't know, it's quite a short read and I hate it when they do that... I am certainly intrigued by Xander...
Profile Image for Tia.
Author 10 books141 followers
June 10, 2013
This is a horrible novel. If anyone wastes time on it, they are on crack.
Profile Image for GeNette.
145 reviews10 followers
June 14, 2013
Wish this was longer, can't wait to read the next book... Can not believe he ask her that!
Profile Image for Laurie Mellies.
16 reviews
March 28, 2019
Not a bad first story now I have to buy the rest of the series just to find out what happens with Zander Barns.
Profile Image for Amber Hodges.
312 reviews23 followers
August 7, 2013
This story is about Marisa. She lives in a home where nothing she does is right. Her parents are mad that she didn't finish college (or university as the book calls it). They yell at her constantly, well her mom does. As she gets dressed up as a sexy librarian after a huge fight with her boyfriend Ben, She goes to a party to surprise him....Marisa is the one who ends up with the surprise. She runs off and gets her own place in a town away from her family. Then one day she goes back to see them, but someone unexpected shows up while she's on her way out there.

I enjoyed this story. I will not lie and say I loved it though. I think it has some potential but the book ended before I could fully get into it. Xander to me is a stuck up asshole (sorry). He throws money around and doesn't care what feelings he hurts along the way.

I did start to get into the story at the end so I was sad when it ended. I was hoping to get a little more out of it. It does say book one though so I will just have to keep an eye for when the next one comes out.

This is the second book that I've read by this author and though I like her first book, Young Annabelle, more, I do see the promise that this series can give us. Her writing flows pretty well and she lets you know what is going on. She also helps you get into the head of the characters so you understand things a little more about the characters. You get to watch the characters grow and change, even with the shortness of it.

I am looking forward to when she put out another book so I can continue with the story. I hope that my opinion on Xander changes and he captures my interest just like he captured Marisa's.
Profile Image for djdavis~*Sivad*.
412 reviews46 followers
June 24, 2013
I guess I was expecting too much from this book! The cover was a little naughty and I just knew it would be an exciting tease. Sorry to say that it was a big let down for me. I felt like I was reading a chapter out of the Babysitters Club story with a twist of hunk (Xander).

This story did have some funny moments when I found myself smiling and shaking my head, however I think I was mostly irritated with Marisa (her inner dialogue was killing me), her family sucks big time, and Xander totally blew into left field. I definitely wasn't ready for his kinky side, although I laughed my ass off after the fact.

All in all this sounds like a pretty shitty review, but now I feel like I absolutely want to see how the mother/family from hell and the prick-of-an-ex-boyfriend will react to her new style. Will Ben feel like crap and want her back? (as she continues to ignore him) I'm sure they'll all wonder what's new in her life that she can afford to come back looking like money. Also, what's the deal with Xander...

The main question is can I really commit to reading book two?
4 reviews1 follower
August 3, 2013
Ok I'm just..I feel....I really don't know.

I decided to give this book a go after reading the blurb, it sounded like a story line with potential, and it had a suggestive cover so why not?
It started off great, and I found myself thinking "I may even read this more than once, seems like its going to be funny" I even found myself getting comfy on the couch.
It went downhill from there.
Here I am getting all excited about Xander being the sexy rich guy falling for the regular girl he meets at the ice cream shop but no... The author had to interrupt my fantasies and tell me he likes wearing women's underwear. What?
He then gets her so drunk she doesn't remember how she got home - okay - and dresses her in another woman's (who he slept with on their date) underwear - yeah that's normal too. He's the type of guy we all want :/
Yes that was sarcasm

Thank hell this was free.

In saying this, I actually couldn't stop reading. Not because it was a work of literary genius. But because I was curious as to what else the author could possibly say to make this book worse.
Profile Image for Miranda.
513 reviews117 followers
October 29, 2014
Eh, I knew not to go into this expecting a whole lot...yet I still felt disappointed. First off I got this free on Barnes and Noble for the nook it was my first book for it and I wasn't to sure what to get since my kindle obviously is my main source for reading (gave nook to boyfriends dad, don't think I like Barnes and Noble book selections...any who). Free book, great. Really short books, ok. I do this a lot where I get one and then get a bit upset that its only (insert page number). Like why? Why do I read them cause I wont pick up the sequel most likely I don't see me spending 99cents for a sequel that's only 100pages... or $2. Enough about crazy prices. Why not just put the whole story together and sell it as one single thing?!
I felt kind of like I wasted an hour and a half took so long due to lack of interest and the TV having an episode of house on... The direction for the storyline was chaotic. It had humorous parts I mean a guy who's into wearing women's underwear yea that's pretty funny but everything else. Dull
2 stars
not re-readable due to deletion of nook
Profile Image for Fernanda García.
7 reviews
July 17, 2013
I was totally turned on reading about when he was on the train and the way he found her (even though that's bullshit. How could he possibly have known her phone numb and the place she was staying at with no previous clue?) and suddenly he wants to try on her underwear!!! I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?! And then, they start discussing textures and shapes as if it was only natural... And she "feels at ease with it!!" What?! And the characters make no sense... First, she's strong and independent, then she's all naive and shy... Then a humorless bitch. And he is sexy and mysterious, a dream came true, and then he is all weird, kinky and awkward, and then very generous... It just doesn't make sense... AT ALL... And let's just not talk about the abrupt end. I wanted to scream, cry and laugh all at the same time. Sarah, if you ever happen to read this review, please, PLEASE, try to make a little more sense in the next book. Try to make the characters more solid and credible. Please, I'm begging you.
Profile Image for Mare.
913 reviews
August 7, 2013
Quick read only 85 pg. kinda an odd story premise.
Halloween Marisa catches her boyfriend of the last 5yrs kissing someone else. I assume since their moms are bff she takes him back only to breakup with him again & get the "your an unmotivated loser at 22 you should feel luck to have Ben" speech from her mom. shortly there after she finally leaves home. while working at yet another ice cream shop...yeap she is unmotived...she waits on a handsome stranger who tip her $95.
on her way home after 5 months, she meets handsome guy on the train to Ottawa & he hits on her again...but she not to sure about him being so domineering. she meets up with him again & is kinda turned off by a quirky kink he seems to have...but hangs out with him anyway.
It ends suddenly in a Cinderella like moment...but i'm not sure the characters were endearing/intringuing enough for me to find out how it ends whenever part 2 comes out.
319 reviews7 followers
July 26, 2015
I'm reading this book in the 3 book addition so I'm trying to separate and review the books individually.
This book starts out with Marisa finding her boyfriend, Ben, kissing a little redhead at a party. Marisa works late at a dead end job so I'll bet this wasn't the first time. Ben is kicked to the curb which infuriates Marisa and Ben's society, snooty mothers. They don't know why Marisa has dumped the golden boy, but are doing everything in their conniving, nasty power to get Marisa to take him back.
Naturally Ben is all for that.
Marisa meets Xander Barnes in the ice cream shop where she works and totally falls for his drop dead gorgeous body. He seems nice enough, but little does she know he's a total freak.
This book reveals Xander's very strange personality and his talent at manipulation.
It's a bit slow here and there, but the story is building. I laughed throughout book 2 so keep going.
Profile Image for Moira.
265 reviews
June 8, 2013
Ugh!! This was so close to being a DNF but pushed myself to finish. At the start I thought I was going to really like it but it wasn't to be. Where to start with Xander?!?! I didn't like him. He seems like the type of person who would have a criminal record for stalking or at the very least for being a peeping Tom. He wasn't a very convincing dominant and his kink was just to weird and rude for me. To be honest he was just an asshole with stalker tendencies for me. I liked Marisa to an extent. If she became more confident and grew a spine she'd be great. I'm sure she'll become more confident in the next parts but I can't see myself reading them. This whole dividing novels into parts is annoying. It literally reads like someone had a whole novel ready for release and just decided chapter 11 was a good place to stop, and the next part will start on chapter 12. Too many negatives for me.
Profile Image for WickedLovely1.
28 reviews7 followers
June 19, 2013
*I received this book from the author, via Goodreads, in exchange for an honest review*

From reading the blurb, this sounded like an awesome read. The story starts out great, and I found Marissa's family disturbingly amusing. Xander starts out good, then he just gets creepy. I still can't figure out how he found out where she was staying... I don't know if the author was going for a Dom image with Xander, but it was just too creepy. Marissa is very naive and gullible, letting Xander into her room, and then going with him to the club! I was disappointed with how this installment ended. I thought we would at least get to see the party scene. I want to know exactly what Xander is, and how come he has disposable income, so I will read the next installment to see where the story goes.

Thanks, Sarah, for letting me read and review!
1,958 reviews11 followers
February 29, 2016
I didn't realize this was part of a series. The ending was VERY abrupt. So much so that I don't think I would read another one because it would leave me hanging again. Maybe after its all finished it would be ok.

The characters were ok, I got confused by how the protagonist went from living in Ottawa with her family to living in Toronto, but having worked at the same place for 5 years. Maybe I just missed something important in the beginning. Xander wasn't flushed out much other than, shockingly for this genre, he was rich. It would be interesting to learn more about him once the series is complete.

Overall it was better than a lot of free books but left me hanging and not wanting more.
Profile Image for Celsey Seivert.
134 reviews10 followers
July 8, 2013
This book is about a women named Marsha who is 21 and cant seem to get her life together. Her boyfriend cheats and her parents think it is because of the way she lives her life. One night at work she is getting ready to close when i man comes walking in she is so mad until she sees the most sexiest man standing in front of her. She can not bring herself to talk to him but when he leaves she can not believe he left a very very big tip.

Her fathers birthday party is coming up and Marsha wants to prove that she has been just fine on her own for the past 6 months. She is taking a train home when the guy that left the big tip sits next to her...she is speechless. Will she thank him? Will she jump on the man she has been dreaming of?
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