Suddenly Silent and Still

by Nin Mok

In a life-changing instant, Nin is thrown into chaos by the onset of sudden hearing loss and violent vertigo. As a project management executive specialising in planning and control, she grapples with the randomness of her condition and the uncertainty of recovery.

Fuelled by love for her children, she fights to reclaim her life in a silent and still world, navigating grief, loss and medical trauma. Nin's abrupt transition from an ambitious career woman to a stay-at-home parent sparks profound introspection.

Is security merely an illusion? What determines a person's worth? How can you accept a worse reality? Through her journey, she discovers new perspectives and an infallible purpose in a less-abled body.

With honesty and humour, she offers hope to those facing loss, chronic illness and disability. Grounded yet uplifting, this inspiring true story shows how the resilience of the human spirit can prevail in the face of suffering.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Ebooks, Australia

276 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 15, 2025

About the author

Author of Suddenly Silent and Still: Finding Joy and Meaning Through Illness.


🏆 Finalist in Personal Growth category in the National Indie Excellence Awards.
🏆 Short-listed for the Chanticleer International Book Awards.
🏆 Honourable Mention in the Next Best Read awards.
🏆 Five-star editorial reviews by Reader's Favorite and Readers View.

This memoir recounts my true story of how a virus took away two major senses instantly and permanently. The book explores the fragility of security, identity, health, and wealth—how they can vanish in an instant by fate and what it truly means to be human. It’s an uplifting story of growing through grief, reinventing oneself and finding strength in the face of unimaginable tragedy.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
"Candid and captivating. The author writes brilliantly and compellingly. This book will change a reader's perspective on the meaning of life."
—Editorial Review by Maria Victoria Beltran for Readers' Favorite

Reviews

[Helga چـو ایـران نباشد تن من مـباد · Rating 4 out of 5]

"He who has a why can bear any how."
- Nietzsche


This is a memoir about finding meaning and joy in simple moments in the face of sickness.

It all began by Nin’s loss of hearing and experiencing vertigo. Was it a virus? Was it curable? Why was she of all people afflicted by a random disease? Why was she so unlucky? Why? Why? Why?

First it was the chaos and then came the anger, hopelessness and broken dreams.
But should she stay in darkness and mourn for her loss, or should she stand up, take control of her life, fight and break through the wall of the disability and the despair?
To fight or to give up? To blame fate and abandon all hope or to resist and define anew and discover what truly matters.

I believe through illness we are reminded how fragile life is and also in the moments of vulnerability we come to find a renewed sense of meaning and purpose. And that is what the book is about.

Many thanks to the author for sharing a copy of her book with me. I especially liked the quotes at the beginning of each chapter and the letter to self was heartwarming.

[iain · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve put 4 stars 🌟 but I want to say this is a 4.5 stars book.
This book by NIN Mok explains the story about her journey through this challenging time in her life with her family.
The great strength she gets from her husband and the love she feels for him and her children.
This was a well written book, some Tragedy times through life and coping with this new illness that’s been thrusted on her and her ways of coping.
Starts with detailed account of her life,and where she is at the point of becoming ill.
I really enjoyed the details of the MRI she had, it was in-depth and funny. I know exactly how she was feeling as I have had a mri.
The story of her illness and how it’s going to affect her life and her family’s.was very heart felt.
I felt sorry for her for the sudden loss she felt and how she was going to cope with the diagnosis.
Showing how strong she was by pushing through with life now, not letting it get her down after going through a blip of anxiety and depression, she made herself better by mind over matter knowing in life there is worse people in situations worse than hers and they cope.
I don’t want to completely tell the story, Nim does a great job herself.
Go out and get and read this book you won’t be disappointed i guarantee it.
Serious,sad,funny and put together beautifully.
I really hope Nim carries on writing cause me for one will get it and read it.
This was a free copy to review sent to me

[Fergus, Weaver of Autistic Webs · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you seek peace in your life, this book shows it to you as a Mission Impossible!

But always within reach.

Nin’s book showed me a life that has been similarly afflicted to mine - though my life was afflicted with a mandatory neuroleptic regimen - and the trauma at its root demanded a remission that is now my not-unhappy lot.

When I was young, in the turbulent throes of psychosis, I tarred my whole world with the same brush. But like me, Nin, experiencing hearing loss, up-and-down trauma and violent nausea, has paradoxically found the cataclysmically narrow road to her own recovery and self-discovery. And Peace!

It has been an unreachable pinnacle - unreachable, but with time, attainable.

And it is in fact the Great Quest.

The course of healing ne’er did run smooth!

Nin says as much, and tells us the peace we seek is like the recovery graph they used to place at the end of a hospital bed. Up and down.

And for her at the beginning it’s all downward - till close to extinction.

But then she notices things. Things like the fact that she unconsciously DOES hear the voices and sounds around her.

That helped me enormously.

And her hearing loss, nausea and trauma?

Mitigated by warm affection and the compensations of family, love gives her a New Life.

I found it right here at home, after my burnout debacle at my workplace.

Overwork did it for both of us. We had made it seem too easy at first, when healthy.

Molehills then became mountains. Mountains became Everests. Don't go there lightly.

Nin has helped me put together many of the lost, forgotten pieces of my half remembered anxiety.

As she will help you hugely with Yours.

Life's way too short. And anxiety's an Everest.

So Nip it in the Bud - NOW.

The RIGHT way…

The HARD way!

[Suz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a surprising memoir. Well written and told from the heart, Nin tells the story of her silent illness which exploded without warning, hitting her physicality without warning.

A mother of two young children, working in her beloved job in STEM, the author takes us through her journey of being struck down physically and how this affects her family, her emotional wellbeing and her entire physical and psychosocial impact the debilitating illness has on her and that of her family.

It is a deep introspective look into how one must move on to keep catching the joy of life and acceptance of something out of her control. Detailed and informative, I see the author’s mind in relation to her field and the joy she derived from her work, really drilling down into investigation and results/scenarios based on choices she makes regarding acceptance and soldiering on with her life.

The components of the book do jump around from time to time, I found myself going back at times to make sure I understood where I was at, but the author’s message is loud and clear. What has happened to her body will not define the outcome of quality time with loving her family and giving everything she has got after the health challenge befallen upon her. Extremely reflective with a strong philosophical edge.

I found it disappointing that many healthcare professionals persisted with ineffective treatment and applaud the author for continually advocating for her best needs. Thank you, Nin, for my copy to read and review. I think health care professionals would learn from this memoir, I took so much away from this, causing me to reflect deeply on many women I know who have physical limitations.

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is very well-written. The author is a bit of a self-proclaimed overachiever, so it's not surprising that she wrote a book well. I get the feeling that she is the kind to lean into her talents and as such, whatever she attempts, she generally does very well. This book was the outcome of a lot of grief and self-reflection. This is a deeply personal account of what happened to her when life suddenly fell apart.

Mok was living a very successful life by many measures - she was a good project manager, had a devoted husband, birthed two highly intelligent children, and was seemingly making it all work. Then out of the blue, during a perfectly ordinary day, she has sudden and total hearing loss, accompanied by debilitating vertigo and several other secondary and tertiary related issues. To someone who is used to succeeding at most anything, I imagine she might've looked at this as one more mountain to climb and tame. That's kind of what happened, but not quite how she probably imagined. The rest of the book describes her inner turmoil, the impacts on her family, the implicit biases she has to navigate of having an invisible disability, and the medical experiences that were probably almost as traumatic and tragic as her diagnosis and prognosis.

As I said, the book was written well, but I had some concerns about the story itself. I want tread carefully here because I want to avoid minimizing neither what the author experienced nor the depth of her resilience. After all, the book is as much about both her tragedy and her personal growth, of which, there are plenty of both. In fact, if it were to have happened to me, I'm sure I would've been far more accepting and would've settled into my new reality without much fight - that's who I am - I go with the flow and I do whatever I can to avoid conflict - even with myself. So while I commend Mok for her strength and her accomplishments (with the new disability and in writing this book), there were a few things I think are worth discussing in reflection of what's been written:

1. I was a little confused about whether or not she actually sought out psychotherapy. At one point in the book, I thought she was leading to that. She was talking about how she realized that maybe she'd been in denial about being in denial. This was after finally hearing several people suggest therapy. But she never says whether she actually goes through with it. Rather, she talks about several coping strategies she deployed and references several books she found especially helpful. Now, I'm all for reading and researching. And I appreciated the detailed ways she described her coping strategies. I'm sure there are readers out there who would want to try some of them, including myself.

My concern is, however, that there felt like an implied ableism was also at work here. I might be 100% off base, and if I am, I apologize for my incorrect presumptions. Therapy is not for everyone, certainly, but for something that so dramatically changes a person's life, I'd hope that other people would consider giving it a try. I would hate for someone to read this book and not try it because one person, whom the reader will probably never meet or get to know outside of this book, thinks that if Mok was able to get past her grief and trauma, then they can too. Maybe is the answer. Maybe they can, but maybe they can't. If they find that they can't. I sincerely hope they might actually surrender and give therapy a try. There is no stigma for going, and it is rare to hit it off with the right therapist right away. Sometimes it takes trying several or even many. And if even if the reader is part of a society or a community where therapy is taboo, no one needs to know about the therapy - it is private. It can also be lifesaving. For this reason, I wish the author had come out and said whether or not therapy was engaged. I acknowledge that it's a private matter for her too, but given how open she was about everything else, it felt odd that she would've omitted it if she'd pursued it. Again, I apologize to Nin Mok if I've misinterpreted, and I also acknowledge that in the end, it's none of my business whether she did or did not. It's more that I wish she might've talked about therapy more encouragingly or would've never mentioned it in the first place.

2. There seems to be a belief that your fortune can be carried by directional momentum. At one point, Mok lists all the ways in which her life had a very forward momentum that allowed her to achieve (even overachieve) and check all the boxes of what might define a good life. Then she talks about how the winds changed to shift that momentum downwardly, and she itemizes all the various health issues that she was afflicted with (much of which sounded quite serious!), culminating in her hearing loss. She then decides it's time for the winds to change again, and she starts to make choices to influence that direction.

I'm not sure I'm fully bought into this theory. I believe we can make choices to direct the sails, yes, but I don't believe that we can control our fortunes and misfortunes. At one point in my life, I was a suicide counselor, and I listened to countless people who were in despair. Many of their stories included a sudden shift in their life trajectories (terminal illnesses, sudden onset mental health crises (e.g., an unexpected bipolar diagnosis), death of a life partner or child, loss of identity (especially those who were in executive positions who lost their jobs without warning), homelessness, bankruptcies, abandonment/unexplained estrangements, etc.). Maybe they should've/could've seen the signs that led to ground falling out from underneath their feet unexpectedly. But how they got where they got wasn't their fault. Sure, there might've been some degree of responsibility in some cases, but when something like these things happen, no amount of root cause analysis paralysis is helpful. Neither is the notion that they can control the outcomes of all their future decisions.

I don't think the author is actually implying that we are responsible for "bad" things happening to us. I think her point is that we can make choices to help us move out of whatever state we might be stuck in, be it depression, grief, confusion, etc. I think she may be telling us that by these choices, we can also reframe our narratives so that we can look upon our personal calamities, draw out the beauty offered to us through them, and find new identities, new passions, renewed relationships, and greater inner strengths, which we can leverage into new lives. But the way it's written, I think some of this may get lost in the message (at least in chapters 14 and 17).

3. At one point, she says that all grief is equal: No one's trauma is greater than that of another because the grief being felt is equal. The only difference is the story. Everyone's trauma journey is as individual as their fingerprints. Everyone has their cross to bear, and it is important to be kind.

I agree with all that, except I really don't know that all grief felt is equal. I am unconvinced of this, and I would need more evidence as to why she thinks so. I had a very defensive emotional reaction to reading this. So I think there's something here I need to pick at for myself to reveal why and then to deal with it. But if that's how I reacted to it, I think it might also be triggering for others too. I'm certain that is not what Mok intended, but I also am not sure what she meant.

4. Mok talks briefly about the individual needs of her children. Jet is described as possibly having ADHD, though it's never called that (I think she calls it hyperactivity with trouble focusing), and her daughter has severe respiratory issues related to asthma and something called breath holding seizures.

Her daughter's condition sounds very scary. I think I would be holding my own fearful breaths anytime she had an episode. Each instance described in the book sounds like it could've been fatal, and this is how I know I lack the fortitude to be a mother, especially given how cold the medical community seems to be where they live. I'm an awesome aunt and fairy godmother, but I was so relieved that I chose not to have children in reading about what they have to go through each time she contracts a cold. I want to wish her all the health in the world for the rest of her life.

Her son, if he has ADHD, sounds like his new school is better equipped to work with him than the private school they were previously at. I'm perturbed on his behalf and all the other kids in Australia whose teachers may have been equally or more dismissive than his had been. They are teachers and not experts in neurodivergence. To pressure him and his parents into labeling him as autistic, even after experts tested him, is lazy and selfish on their parts. Yup, I, who will never know how hard these teachers work or what else is going on in their lives or anything about Australia, yup, I am going to make this very terrible judgmental statement, and I'm not going to apologize for this one. Autism and ADHD, while often related, are two very different conditions, and they need very specific approaches. This part of the book made me very angry for their son, and it again made me glad not to be a parent.

Between the lack of sensitivity demonstrated by the medical professionals toward Mok and her daughter and the lazy selfishness of their son's teachers, I was pretty aghast. It completely challenged all the ways I thought about Australia until now. I've only encountered Australia secondhand - through reading, through social media, through film, and through stories from friends and family who have visited. I hope to visit myself someday. But I also hope never to have to deal with a medical issue while there. They sound really mean! I'm sure there are plenty of very nice and perfectly compassionate professionals there too, but my goodness, the ones Mok's family has had to work with sound really awful. I'm sorry they had to go through that over and over again.

4. When Mok talks about her reflection on her life up to the point where she decided to write this book, it feels like she's chastising herself a bit for the way she had previously prioritized her life. I thought she was being a little hard on herself. It also made me wonder if her husband would've had the same epiphanies if this had happened to him and he was the one who had to give up his career. It sounds like she's now reconciled with her decisions and is at peace with where she's at and how she got there. I'm glad for her. I think that's a critical part of how she approaches the rest of her life.

In the end, I'm happy for Mok - happy that they have found new life after an ordeal that could've completely bankrupted their souls if they'd let it, happy that they didn't let it happen that way, happy that they are all finding deeper depths in their relationships with each other. The author reached out to me on Goodreads and asked if I'd review her book. I'm feeling very honored to have been asked. I feel like I was invited into a very intimate soul search. Thank you so much Nin Mok!

PS, I love that she tried cupping. Made me remember how much my dad loved to help people through cupping. He also had hearing decline, though for him, it was a matter of aging and also a result of mini strokes. He had me cup him as well to try to bring more blood flow and unblock his qi. So reading that she went through cupping and acupuncture (my dad was in the process of getting a master's degree in acupuncture science when he was killed) brought back some cherished memories of my dad too. I thank her for this as well.

4.5 and rounding up to 5.

[Nicola Cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 This was so endearing and i really related to the author this book talks about grief and loss when you develop an illness that changes the life you were happy with it talks about how it affects your mental health and panic attacks can strike in an instant i was so happy this author reached out to me and told me about this book i read it in one sitting it definately has me thinking about my own illness i was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023 and how that impacts you and your family i really could put myself in this authors shoes as i to have 4 childen two of those really young and my son has autism and my daughter has suspected autism she really inspires me and the strength she has shown and her courage its inspiring the quotes in this book were top tier i definately need to get a physical copy to annotate id recommend this book to anyone who is going through it right now wether thats through an illness thats life changing and the grief and loss you experience because of that i really will take something away from this book i felt like this author was talking to me her writing is exceptional i dont really read memoirs but this wow what a read. I was lucky to receive this as an arc .

[Jülie ☼♄  · Rating 5 out of 5]

A memoir of deep honesty and profound insights.

Mapping her journey through an unimaginably difficult and painful terror, Nin Mok describes her life before, during, and after, an invisible and insidious virus struck her down without warning and changed her life forever, from that moment on.
Nin was still young and had so many plans and dreams that were all coming to fruition, until the moment of that fateful day which, in the blink of an eye, stole it all away.
She was at the peak of her career, holding down a high level managerial role with weighty responsibilities and decision making demands. She excelled in this position and was highly regarded by her superiors. In a way, she felt privileged.
How could this be happening?
As she went for test after test and doctor after doctor, specialists and others, Nin tried everything they asked of her…sometimes at the mercy of incredibly painful treatments. And when they gave up, she read and researched everything she could in an effort to find some hope of a cure or at least relief of some sort.

Incredibly moving and at the same time painfully frustrating as you ride the roller coaster of physical and mental anguish that the author endured for such a long period of time whilst, ultimately coming to terms with her new condition/s and changes to her whole lifestyle.

This is a book for others to read and absorb, there is a lot to take away from the way Nin Mok manages her sudden change of life and her condition, how she eventually comes to terms with it.
This is a book about overcoming seemingly insurmountable challenges. A book that could instil hope in others.

*If you feel you’re in a dark place or suffering depression, panic attacks, or feeling down in any way, then you could get a lot out of this book, just by the author’s example of how she managed during her dark days. There’s no sugar coating or easy fix suggestions, but you can see how optimism and tenacity eventually pull through and shine a light on possibilities. Subtle changes in her behaviour and thinking, ultimately gave Nin the tools she needed to overcome.

Eloquently written with heartfelt honesty, I hope Nin Mok continues to pursue her desire to write because she knows how to wield her pen with confidence!

5⭐️s

[Kasia Rybka · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suddenly Silent and Still by Nin Mok is one of the most moving memoirs I’ve ever read. I received the copy for free, and I am writing an honest review.
The whole story starts with Nin’s life taking this wild turn—one minute everything’s fine, and the next, she’s hit with severe hearing loss and intense vertigo. Imagine the floor suddenly dropping out from under you—she’s thrown into total chaos, facing a condition that’s not only unpredictable but also has no clear path to recovery.
What’s really amazing here is Nin’s honesty. She doesn’t hold back, and that’s what makes her story so relatable and powerful. She shares the tough parts openly, giving us a real look at what it’s like to live with a chronic illness and disability. And while it’s raw and painful at times, there’s so much resilience in her words that it ends up feeling hopeful too.
One of my favourite things about this book is how Nin shows us what it means to really live with something so challenging—she dives into what it’s like emotionally, not just physically. I’ve seen people say this memoir is about being human, and they’re spot on. Whether you’re dealing with your own health stuff or you just want to understand these kinds of experiences better, there’s so much to take away from her story. She also shares some book recommendations that helped her through everything, and they’re honestly so insightful.
After finishing it, I couldn’t help but think differently about my own reactions to things. Nin’s story sticks with you—it’s heartfelt and so honest that it leaves a mark. If you’re looking for a read that’ll make you see things a bit differently and open up your mind to the realities of resilience, Suddenly Silent and Still is it. Highly, highly recommended 👌

# kasiarybka

[Vanessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not a fan of a rating system that gives us 5 stars to work with. Books and people are a lot more complex than that.

In a similar vein to Raynor Winn’s first book, The Salt Path, Suddenly Silent and Still is a reflection of the first steps toward healing. The author, Nin Mok, shares her story of a not uncommon grief that is shared by many: the newly disabled, lately diagnosed or those facing catastrophic life-altering change.

No doubt a therapeutic write for this newly published author, Nin Mok reflects on her awakening to life, in all of it’s complexity. An alignment of identity with being rather than doing.

We see her utilise and lean on her strengths to both frame and tackle new challenges. She begins paying close attention to the little known sense of Interoception (internal body signals) rather than overriding them when other senses fail her.

In learning to listen and tend to her own needs she is able to discover new skills and ways of being. In a sense, Mok is giving us a front row seat to the reality of living with disability and illness. These experiences require us to live with honesty, transparency and an authenticity that many can spend a lifetime seeking, but never find.

Suddenly Silent and Still is a book about being human. None of us get to live without grief but it can often feel lonely. There will be many people who will relate to the author’s experiences and many who would benefit from understanding them. I look forward to reading more about Mok’s ever expanding universe.

[Susan Walt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have received an ARC copy and am leaving this review voluntarily.

Imagine living the good life with a husband you love, two children you adore, and a career you excel at. And then suddenly, you lose it all because of a cold virus going rogue, putting an end to life as you know it.

Nin Mok went through the complete process of grief - mourning her hearing and the life she lost. Not giving in to her feelings of helplessness and denial, Nin set out to create order from her life’s chaos.

This process caused a shift in her values and the goals she set for herself. Ultimately, although her life has become so much different and often challenging, Nin realised that she is happier than before and that this setback has enabled her to spend more time with her children and build the family life she always wanted.

We all have challenges, but like Nin Mok, we can be warriors, fighting the battle, even if it means small daily victories. Life often throws us curve balls, but if we focus on our most significant values, treasure the people in our lives, and draw from our inner strength, we can take them on with courage and resilience.

For ten key insights from Suddenly Silent and Still, please read From Struggles to Strength: What I Learned About Courage and Family from Nin Mok’s Journey.
https://substack.com/home/post/p-1512...

[Tisha Whiting · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suddenly Silent and Still is the story of a woman who suddenly becomes disabled; she lost her hearing in one ear and her sense of balance. Most of the book details the ways she overcame and accepted this hard time in her life.

Before this year, I read maybe one memoir a year, but this year I’ve already read three or four and it’s definitely a genre I’ve been sleeping on. I received a free copy of this book to leave an honest review.

I really enjoyed the voice the author had in telling her story. Very conversational and made the book a very easy read.

One of my favorite lines: “The unique lives of people qualify everyone to write a riveting memoir.” Every life someone has lived is a story worth telling. While not everyone may want to read those stories, I think this one was worth while.

If you are a fan of Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, I think you’ll like this one!

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished "Suddenly Silent and Still" by Nin Mok earlier this evening. It is a beautifully written memoir, and I recommend it.

The author is a very talented woman. She had a big career as a project manager in the engineering field, a strong and healthy marriage, and two young wonderfully energetic children. Then she was overtaken by a virus which caused her to be deaf in her left ear, as well as having vertigo, thundering tinnitus, and anxiety.

Nin Mok is deeply honest about what happened to her and how she evolved emotionally and physically. I could relate to some of her experience. I have had vertigo two times in my life, and it totally incapacitated me. I lay flat on my back in my bed for days, wondering if I could ever walk again. I also have had anxiety attacks since the pandemic and the first Trump administration with more in the horizon, I fear. These inconveniences are miniscule in relation to what Nin experienced and is still experiencing, but I can relate.

Here are just a few of my favorite quotations that particularly resonated to me from the book.

". . . yet I remained the same person. Society needed to change its inaccurate definition of worth, instead of me lowering my worth to fit its unfeeling, narrow definition." (I relate to this because I am obese and am viewed as unworthy by many in society)

"During a vertigo attack, the mind perceives the world to be spinning. The eyes track the rapid spinning by darting from side to side manically. It would be fair for people unfamiliar with the concept of Nystagmus to believe they had witnessed a possession." I experienced Nystagmus often when I had vertigo. It is dreadful.

I want to thank Nin Mok for her memoir and encourage her continuing soul searching. Your words are helping others. I also appreciate your gratitude and am happy that you have a stronger and healthier marriage, and a closeness with your children that you did not have before labyrinthitis entered your life.

I am an appreciative reader, Nin!

[Allie Collyer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given a free ARC of the book in exchange for an voluntary unbiased review.

Nin’s book is a deeply personal account of her sudden hearing loss resulting in single sided deafness with the added challenge of ongoing vertigo.

I experienced the same condition 2 years ago so it was really interesting to read of someone else’s experience and how they navigated their new world. I felt jarred at times of how Nin describes herself as broken and how she speaks of the tragedy of what happened - I don’t consider myself or the situation this way at all. This isn’t to say that either of us are right or wrong, just very different perspectives I think.

I really recommend this book to everyone as it definitely shows that life can change in an instant and that we should have more empathy for others whether we can identify with their situation or not.

I was really happy to get to the end to see that Nin and her family have grown together through this experience and that she has found joy in a more simple life.

[Maddy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nin Mok’s memoir Suddenly Silent and Still explores her personal journey through illness, grief, and triumph.
As an individual who is disabled due to illness, I was expecting a relatable account of the struggles that come with being disabled.
The first half of the book provided this, and I was able to empathise with her struggles through grief over a life changed by an illness that struck her down. It wasn’t until the second half that the author revealed her prejudiced views on mental health and the disabled community.
Whilst she does acknowledge her earlier views were part of her ‘naivety’, she repeatedly suggests "treatments" for mental and physical health issues that are downright inappropriate and uneducated.
The lack of content warnings was also alarming as the author broaches quite sensitive aspects of mental health.
In regard to the writing, I felt that it was fluffed out with over the top metaphors and segues with no relation to what was being discussed.
You can’t openly admit to believing that all people needed to solve their depression (which she thought didn’t truely exist) was a good walk then attempt to make yourself the poster child for mental health awareness over the following chapters.
It’s due to this I have to give the book a regrettable 1 star rating.
Disclaimer: I was given an advanced reader copy of this memoir in exchange for an honest review.​

[Destiny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing. When I first heard of this book, I instantly knew I wanted to be apart of this reading journey. I became disabled at the ripe age of 21 in 2021. Therefore there's a lot I've missed out on since starting my 20's.
This book was very inspiring and there was so many good quotes and portions that are very moving. As somebody who was very independent just like Nin, it is nice to not feel alone, and ways to navigate moving forward with my life.
Obviously we have different stories, but to be able to hear from someone else POV of their journey of becoming disabled, battling the emotions, the sudden life changes, and finding acceptance was beautiful. There were a few parts that I related to so much that I was actually tearing up.
It is refreshing to see a book so open and honest about the things that come along with chronic conditions. Beautifully written.
I think anvone with a body should read this.
Especially if you are or know someone who has gone through anything debilitating.
My takeaway on this book is to embrace my disability.
It is okay to ask for help from others. It is okay to grieve the person that lost, but I need to become acquainted with who I AM. I will acknowledge that my goals will change, because I changed. I am not the able bodied person I once was, and that is okay. I am going to try to embrace the joys of life again, and try to get out of the confinement of my room. Thank you so much for writing this inspiring book!

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was fortunate to receive this book as an advance copy, and am happy to have read it and leave my review for future readers~
First, I am not normally a fan of memoirs. I have read far too many that are braggadocious or sound like, And then this happened, and then that happened, and then I did this, and then…. Yawn. Not for me. This story, however, immediately pulled me in.
I was immensely intrigued by the subject of Suddenly Silent And Still. This story unravels the journey of the author, a successful professional, loving wife, and energetic mother, who abruptly, by a freak medical occurrence, loses hearing and develops horrendous vertigo. With an expectation for full recovery, the author deals with searching for her identity as full recovery appears less and less likely.
“Why me? … Who am I now?” make way for “Given enough time, life finds a way.”
I, myself, am a health professional, and I also suffer moderate hearing loss that has worsened with age, but has always been a part of me. I also have infrequent bouts of vertigo. So, yes, I have empathy, but the author’s condition is detailed in such absolute terms, I realize the modest nature of my physical challenges. And, as she mentions, we DO compare our journeys with those of others just as I compared mine with hers.
I think my favorite quote in the book is, “Tragedies love to begin their day unassumingly.” Her story is so well told, I felt the nausea, suffered the tinnitus, felt the dead deafness of an ear that worked perfectly prior to the attack. I longed to undo her condition for her.
Another quote: “Doctors wanted to conquer diseases at all costs, whereas patients wanted to live their best life possible.” Such a relatable statement, as so many of us have felt forgotten by medical professionals that are meant to help “us” rather than only focus on the nature of the “disease.”
The author brings such a human element to her story, retelling her husband and children’s reactions to her hearing loss and efforts to cope with dizziness; explaining her feelings in how those around her adjusted to her new life skills; new panic attacks and the interesting efforts to overcome them.
For those interested in a sensitively written memoir involving true physical loss, Mok’s story will keep you engaged and rooting her on throughout every chapter. I highly recommend.

[Michelle Tobin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suddenly Silent and Still by Nillawan Mok

A story worth telling.

Nin Mok’s memoir describes the change in perspective ushered in by a sudden tragedy. In an honest, unflinching, and absent of self-pity, Nin Mok recounts how on an otherwise, typical day, she suddenly lost hearing in one ear and her balance. By loss of balance, she means debilitating and intense vertigo. She describes how this sudden and permanent disability snowballed into loss of identity, career, independence, freedom, mobility, and connection.

In a poignant and palpable way, Nin takes the reader on the journey from dramatic first moments of sudden hearing loss and intense vertigo, endless doctor appointments to try to figure out what happened, physical therapy, adjusting to bedrest and job loss through acceptance and healing, including the mundane aspects of everyday life in between like parenting and other responsibilities. Yet, there is no wallowing or whining evident. As she says, “my situation changed and so must I.”

In the process of sharing her story, Nin draws attention to disabilities and how misunderstood people are who suffer from ailments we can’t see. After reading this book, you will think twice about judging the person who moves too slowly in front of you or expressing your impatience to one who appears not to hear you. The lessons she gleans from her experience and conveys to the rest of us extend well beyond physical issues to any invisible suffering such as mental health struggles. Her book provides a good lesson in the power of compassion for others. In addition, the grief she experiences from the sudden and debilitating health crisis, extends to other experiences of loss from job loss to the loss of a loved one.

There are numerous pearls of wisdom throughout Suddenly Silent and Still that make for a good read. Here’s a good one, “Make the trauma appear smaller by growing a bigger life around it.” Suddenly Silent and Still is relatable no matter the life stage or trauma experience you find yourself in, if you are attentive and willing to learn from them. As she says, “Life experiences are the only qualified teachers to transform a person into someone who is relatable to a wide audience.”

As Ms. Mok moves further into her own healing, she acknowledges that “acceptance does not mean being fully healed. Rather it means letting go of previous expectations.” Yet, she also says, “I had reclaimed my dwindled worth.” Gems.

Toward the end of Suddenly Silent and Still, Nin Mok concludes, “This tragedy will give your life a story worth telling.” The proof is in this book. I received an Advance Copy to review.

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I sit here and ponder this book . . I hope that one day I can find the words to share how much Nin's story meant to me.

Right from the cover which symbolises the changes that life brings, and even if our tree becomes bare, we can still hope for new growth and see new beauties where we never even imagined.

I appreciated Nin sharing her story - her very individual and personal journey through trauma, grief and loss ... to a place where she acknowledges how much she has learnt about herself, her medical conditions, her family and life.

Her family's struggle with their daughter's health also resonated with me. The depths we go to for our children, even losing friendships and close family members due to them not understanding our need to keep our kids well. Reading this, I dont feel so alone as we have gone through something so very similar.

Thank you to Nin for sending this book to me, I'm so very grateful for the opportunity to read and review it ... and store some of your words in my heart. 💖

[Gisselle Hermann · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5 🌟

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

I had to shorten my review because it had too many direct quotes/spoilers. This is a very well written memoir about a successful woman/wife/mother who out of the blue, loses complete hearing in one of her ears and her balance is completely thrown off… permanently. What really enticed me when I first read the synopsis is that my mom is going through the same thing medically. Her vertigo isn’t as intense as Nin’s but she has tinnitus and is learning to live with it.

There were many moments where I felt really sad for the author and what she was going through. There were a couple of parts that were hard to read and in short, were about her lack of belief in mental health. This is where I knocked it down 2 stars.

She talks about her life previous to her diagnosis and how she was successful and traveled and she was always very fortunate her entire life. And then this derailed her. What I really love is how this completely humbled her. She spent a long time comparing status with others now that she is no longer working. Please know, Nin, your status is not your worth.

What I liked about this book is that I did in fact learn more about labyrinthitus and tinnitus and made multiple highlights to talk to my mom about. I also loved Nin’s vulnerability to be able to write about the hardest part of her life in the way she did. But also admire so much the growth she made after accepting her new norm and realizing she didn’t have to stop living her life because of this, but just had to do things a little differently now. Stay humble Nin and don’t be so hard on yourself. Your kids and husband are incredibly proud of you. And thank you for sending an ARC and letting me read your story!

[Faith · Rating 4 out of 5]

At first, I didn’t understand what it was about. After going back and reading the summary, I really enjoyed the book. Nin creatively described her situation and how it affected her and her family. It was a delight to see where she started and where she was headed. to it reminded that in any situation, it is all about perspective and how you deal with change. Thank you Nin for sharing your story. No one is perfect, but we can live to our fullest.

[Vicki Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sudden hearing or balance loss, or both; the word “loss” can imply that it can be found, especially from people who are not affected. Ironically with sudden hearing or balance loss or both, not many people will find it again. There is an overwhelming loss, not just from health and feelings perspective. People don’t understand what you go thought, Nin certainly shows you this.
Nin Mok, went from a non-stop full life, with a job and family, to a sudden full stop. Her world crashed around her. What she found, is her new reality. She had to re-evaluate herself, and not only her life, but everyone in her life, around her, as part of her recovery, and in part, to become an author in her journey. You feel like you were with her on the ride. At times you felt that overwhelming obstacle, her journey of resilience, and her strength to transform her life.
This is memoir was written so skillfully, that for someone who has been there, to let you know that you are not alone in what you lost, your hurts and feelings, and maybe find a way out. Better, it’s an excellent read, for family and friends of people affected by hearing and balance loss, to help them understand what we don’t let them see, hear and go through.
"Happy to have been gifted a copy and to leave this review"

[Kira Poliseno · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved reading Nin’s story, being a mother to two young children myself I could relate to a-lot of the parenting segments of this book. I was laughing at parts too, especially when she speaks of her son and his magnetism to mishaps (my son is the same!)

Nim really goes into depth about the day she became ill, how she was feeling, her grief and her struggles to parent while being unwell and all the hardships she had to endure. I love how honest she is and I think it must have taken a lot of courage for her to share all of this and to really delve deep into her personal life.

This one was a real eye opener to the basic things we sometimes take for granted.

Thank you Nin for sharing your story.

[Ariana Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

So at the start of this book I was loving the insights… how would I feel if my whole life was turned upside down? Literally and figuratively. Losing your balance and a good chunk of your hearing must be so hard.

But then the author just came across as a 40yo who has zero life experience and no understanding of the real world. Yet she had 2 kids and a booming career, and all she seemed to think was she was amazing.

I’m sad for Nin that she lost all that she did. And I’m sad for her she didn’t appreciate the life and kids she had before her accident. Her views of on mental health before she struggled were disgusting, and her views now still seem distorted. Enjoying life and family are always more important than work, and you shouldn’t need to read a book to understand that after 2020

[Amy Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a beautifully written memoir that had my heart constrict for the better part of it. It follows the journey of this woman who was at the peak of her professional life and had almost everything going as per plan and in her favour; only to be found suddenly striken and still. The author’s battle with her physical and mental health left me with so much respect and awe for her strength, grit and resilience! A must read especially for people going through any form of challenges in their life and find themselves stuck in a limbo. It teaches one to find your purpose in life, no matter what life throws at you, you can find your own happiness.

[Paul Mix · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a member of Nin's ARC group, I downloaded an advance copy, immediately volunteering to leave a review. I found inspiration reading about her journey down the road less traveled, how the closing of one door led to the reconciliation of grief and loss, defining a new path forward.

[Jo Boyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautiful, well written memoir. Nin takes the reader through her trauma with honesty and grace, at times funny. The book makes you think about how you would cope in a similar situation and what is most important in life.

[Ajay Pradhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suddenly Silent and Still is a poignant memoir by Nin Mok, chronicling her journey through an unexpected and life-altering health crisis. After a sudden onset of vertigo and hearing loss, she was diagnosed with labyrinthitis, a condition that destroyed the hearing and balance nerves in her left ear. The memoir explores her struggles with grief, loss of identity, and the arduous process of reclaiming her life amidst physical and emotional challenges.

The book reflects on her transformation from a competent professional and devoted mother to someone rendered helpless, dependent, and mourning her former life. Nin highlights the impact of this experience on her family, particularly her husband Tom, who supported her steadfastly, and her children, who inadvertently became her source of motivation for recovery. Themes of resilience, love, and finding meaning through suffering are central to the narrative, interwoven with reflections on societal expectations, toxic positivity, and the enduring human spirit. Nin's memoir is both heart-wrenching and inspiring.

That’s the “what” part of the book—the real-life story about her health crisis. I found Nin’s story very engaging and compelling not only because the story carries the reader along through her journey but also because, uncannily, I experienced somewhat similar health symptoms right around the time in November when I was reading the book: severe common cold, ear and eye infection, sudden hearing loss, a mild case of vertigo, physical imbalance, and tinnitus. Although my first consultation with an ENT specialist is scheduled for April (a long wait, I know) for a formal diagnosis, I could already empathize with Nin’s condition as if it were my own. Mr. Google tells me that I, too, may have a case of labyrinthitis or Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss (SSHL), but until my ENT specialist sees me and comes up with a diagnosis, I must refrain from giving my condition a name. But, this review is not about my condition, it’s about Nin’s book and her story.

As gripping as the story is, it’s not the only aspect of the book that drew me close to it. I am usually a “selfish” reader, in the sense that when I read books, I read for more than the plot and the storyline—the “what” part, if you will. More than that, I read to learn from the author the craft of storytelling—the “how” part. I not only read what the author has written, but how she has written it; how she tells the story, how she turns words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs into a book. It is this aspect that, I think, Nin shines through. She writes her prose like poetry, even for non-fiction. Her writing has lyrical and poetic qualities, making me think Nin is an exceptional writer and a storyteller. On seeking hope, she writes, "I couldn’t choose to be happy, but I could choose to seek happiness. I could stoke the flames of life back from a traumatized ember into a roaring fire and hope that the essence of joy reignited." To me, that lyrical line alone was enough to make the entire book worth reading.

Nin’s candid and often poetic prose draws readers into the depths of her despair and the gradual ascent toward hope. The book effectively balances personal storytelling with broader philosophical musings, offering valuable insights for anyone facing significant adversity.

Nin’s critique of platitudes, like "happiness is a choice" resonates deeply, as she emphasizes the importance of validating grief and pain as part of the healing process. Her exploration of resilience is particularly powerful, as she frames her recovery not as a linear path but as a journey marked by setbacks, hard-won progress, and the enduring love of her family.

While the memoir is deeply personal, its universal themes of loss, perseverance, and rediscovery make it accessible to a wide audience. Some readers might find the detailed medical descriptions and technical aspects of her condition a bit overwhelming, but these sections add authenticity and depth to her narrative.

Overall, Suddenly Silent and Still is a testament to the strength of the human spirit, a compelling read for those seeking solace, inspiration, or a better understanding of the complexities of grief and resilience. It’s hard to believe this is Nin’s debut book. I enjoyed it very much and highly recommend it. The book earns 5 star rating from me.

I am pleased to leave this review based on a gifted early copy.

[Nicole Perez · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book delves into the authors personal journey dealing with a sudden onset illness. She goes through the stages of grief and provides how it affected her at every stage. I will say that as someone who has family that deals with similar issues as the author as well as me dealing with my own illnesses and issues that do take a toll on your life and mental health. I felt like her book explained a normal person going through those stages of grief. The only part of the book i truly docked stars for is that I grew up in a family that had the same thought process about mental health as the author spoke about where they do not believe mental health is an issue and I feel like that is a very unhealthy mindset especially when illnesses like this often exasperate the mental health individual people face. Everyone deals in their own way, and I know that belief is very common, so just be aware that if you do have mental health issues , a few areas in the book may bother you. Overall, it was a quick read and I could see parts of it being helpful to some individuals.


**I was given this book as an ARC for free. In turn, i would write an honest review**

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

Suddenly Silent and Still is an honest and insightful memoir about the author's journey and experience when the unthinkable and incomprehensible happens. Without warning, she suddenly loses her hearing in her left ear, as well as develops frequent dizziness. In her book, she is very descriptive. Without being in her shoes, you can feel every emotion and thought and imagine the traumatic events she was going through.

My brain compensated for the silence in my left ear by courteously simulating an unbearable high-pitched ringing sound. Doctors call this phenomenon tinnitus. The ringing was an unwelcome alarm clock in my head with no off button.

Nin captures her thoughts through her experience from the moment it happened. She takes us through when her left ear went deaf and stopped hearing, her unpleasant time at the hospital, the uncomfortable and awkward moments, and the frustrating process, right down to the difficult news and heartbreaking talks with the audiologist.

It felt too surreal to be true. We both believed I would heal and that normality would return soon enough.

"Your hearing is gone! It's not coming back! When your feelings settle, make another appointment to discuss options. As for your balance, don't expect to be riding bikes ever again."
My eyes welled up with tears as this sentence was handled without the possibility of appeal.

Her story goes in-depth, realizing that this was her reality now, the denial, sadness, and feelings of utter discomfort, unfairness, and grief. The memoir is about her struggles and journey in adapting to life with sudden trauma and in public with an invisible disability that others don't see. It was hard to read the chaos Nin had to endure and adapt to with her sudden hearing loss and vertigo, and also the ignorance of society to treat people poorly, like when a bicyclist yelled at her and called her a name for not hearing him, to get out of his way.

I now lived in a world that was no longer made for me; it was made for the able. I no longer felt normal here.

Despite trying to fit in with an able society and having her life turned upside down and unrecognizable, Nim is resilient. She battles many heavy emotions, feeling unhappy, sorry for herself, and misfortune, but ultimately finds perspective and acceptance of her illness.

The book was well-written, eye-opening, and worth the read. It teaches us that no matter how difficult a circumstance is, we, as humans, are strong enough to keep moving forward and capable of overcoming obstacles. It gives introspection on gratitude in difficult times and understanding of humans, impairments, or invisible struggles. I loved and felt warmed by Nin's support system in her loving husband and two children, and happy Nin found inner peace.

Thank you, Nin, for sending me an advanced copy and sharing your story.

[Deanna Rozmaity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am grateful to have received a free advanced copy of this memoir, and to have been given the opportunity to offer an honest review.
Firstly, I would just like to state that I do not usually read memoirs and am usually not a fan of them - however I was intrigued with Nin’s story from the get-go. Suddenly Silent and Still by Mok unravels the story of her journey from sudden hearing loss into single sided deafness. We get to witness the day she became ill, her grief, and the many hardships she has had to endure. We were able to witness the growth she experienced as a result, and the changes she has had to make in her life. We got to see how this person’s life completely changed but how they dealt with it in a positive way. I loved getting to see how she rediscovered her relationship with her entire family – and this was a real eye opener to the basic things that we honestly sometimes take for granted. This story was very beautifully written, the details were spot on and there was no room left for the imagination. This book was also very informative as Nin shares the techniques that helped her as well as those that didn’t.
I understand that this must have taken much courage to share your story, so I commend you for that.
St. Francis of Assisi “Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and then suddenly you are doing the impossible.”