Sometimes, when we least expect it, the universe finally rewarded us with our deepest desires. Sadly, she also had a wicked sense of humor in how she delivered it. There I stood, minding my own business at a bank when the three robbers entered. Fright gripped me by the throat right before one of the men did, but that fright quickly dissipated into something…else? The fingers cinching off my airway only added to the forbidden touch of the arm around my waist. A man hadn’t touched me this forcibly in too long, if ever, and I liked to be manhandled in the bedroom. The dark romance books I read didn’t help dim my excitement either. Before my rational mind had any control, a moan slipped from my lips. Yes, I moaned. It was loud enough for everyone to hear, including the man who held me. They thought they were coming to collect their hostage for a ransom, but the bargain soon changed when I felt what my hum did to the man holding me against his… ‘ahem’.
Trigger This book will include dark themes mostly in the bedroom--knife play, BDSM-- and kidnapping.
an absolute mess—but in the most entertaining way possible. the writing wasn’t anything special, but it’s the kind of book where you just turn your brain off and enjoy the chaos.
Thoughts / Synopsis : probably my favorite book of 2025. This was the best depiction of a real life, dark romance. spice was top 10 spiciest I’ve read. And the FMC was a total bad@ss. There was no sword crossing, would have been my only complaint. I can’t stress how good this book really was. The commentary alone was hilarious. The banter back-and-forth was off the chart.
⚠️⚠️⚠️spoilers - whole story*** Vicki - twenty something strong, independent woman. Works at her dad’s accounting firm and does most of the work. Her father pretty much ignores her. Her stepmother Cecilia, tries to keep her father away from her as much as possible. Cecelia is also pregnant. Vicki has been going through one night stands like candy. They’ve all been disappointing. Her friend Luce (Lucinda), and Vicki are wide open with each other. They know each other‘s kinks, secrets, they even call each other in the middle of banging if it’s a disappointment. Vicki goes on a date with a guy named Leopold. He seems like a nerdy cinnamon roll to her. He seems very genuine and she really does want a second date. She hasn’t felt this way in a while. Vicki goes to the bank to deposit a weekly check, three guys come in and kidnap her. She actually moans by accident when he grabs her. On the way to where they are taking her, she gets real mouthy and sassy in a spicy way. So one of them goes downtown. He eats it like his last meal. They get to the house and keep her tied up and their masks on. But she eventually recognizes Leopold by his scent. Leopoldo, Talon, and Kage all work together at the same factory as a cover for their side jobs. Leopold does underground IT work, Talon is a cleaner for the mob, and Kage has basically an Etsy shop for crafts. He also does photography. About 80 other workers were laid off as well and they grabbed Vicki trying to get money out of her father. They want to give that money to the workers that got laid off. Their side jobs pay a lot. Talon has a daddy schmink, he ex wife made him feel disgusting for having it and left also because his “real” business was janitorial and she deemed that lower than her station. So now Talon doesn’t do love or relationship relationships. Leopold’s schminks are sloppy seconds and being a cuckold. Kage is VERY primal. He likes bl%d and chasing. He also had a cra@p dad that gave him really bad scars he is ashamed of. Vicki clearly is not afraid of her situation or the guys. Once they tell her what they’re doing and why they’re doing it, she helps them create a video message and plays her part. Well asking for money from her father. Over the week they give her lots of “Os” and she indulges each of their schminks. They all think to themselves that she is perfect and want to keep her but know that at the end of the week their time runs out. Vicki is getting so many Os she is starting to chaff. She convinces them to let her call her BFF, Luce. There is a part where they all go to a restaurant to take Vicki out on a date. On the way back Kage has the bubble guts so bad. The point of view from him is hilarious. That same night Vicky literally breaks Leopold’s peni$!!! This chapter was super funny. Leopold is told he has to be in a pelvic cast for two weeks. The day before they have to give Vicki back, one of the mob guys comes in and grabs Talon, Vicki, and Kage. Leopold was at his doctor follow up. Vicki was able to leave a message for Leopold before they were grabbed. Leopold calls Luce for back up to help Free them from the mob guy. They come up with a plan to pin Vicki’s kidnapping on the mob guy instead of the other guys. They all get rescued just in time. There’s a whole chapter from Luce’s perspective. Turns out she’s a whole assassin.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
This book was funny. It had me laughing from the beginning to the end. I caught myself smiling at the ridiculous that is Vicki. She has a mouth and no filter. But unfortunately, that is all it is. A lot of random jokes. I really wish I could give this book a higher rating due to the wittiness and jokes, but this book was borderline erotica. The book name itself should have clued me into it. I just wish we got more of a story, a more in-depth plot as to why they did what they did and more conversations between them before she caught feelings. She fell in love with them after 1 or 2 days because they could satisfy her physical sexual needs and vice versa. This book happens all within one week. Day one she is kidnapped and by the end of day 2 she is already half in love feeling sad because one says he can’t do relationships. Then by day 3 he is wanting to take her on dates. This book just had no depth to it just 4 people overcome with lust and calling it love after a few hearts to hearts. Plus, don’t get me started on the word Daddy… that one word was used 11 times between 3 pages... every other sentence over and over again. Then when he is in danger, she calls out Daddy instead of his name (wrong time and place)? Look don’t get me wrong I do get the name of the book implies a lot of kinks and sex will happen, but you can always add more to it. More depth and substance. I just had such high hopes and honestly, I have seen more kinks used in other books at the same time than this one did. This book just fell flat in every aspect except the comedy. Which is what saved this book from being 1 star.
I got this book because the group I follow on fb said it was funny and also spicy.
If your funny is the following: Taking a sh*t behind a store and getting the full blown process of it Getting the urge to have diarrhea right before sexual activity Thinking that “broken p*nis” is funny This book is totally for you.
I did not find this funny at all. Spice is okay. I felt it started off strong but it got weird which I’m okay with but then it just went south so fast. If your funny is more so banter or sass, you will not find that here.
I LOVED this. If you're looking for a massive amount of smut with an interesting plot, you've found it! Vicki is all of us dark romance girlies if we got the chance to lean into our fantasies in every way! Each of the men unlocks her inner most needs after the kidnapping plot shifts. PLUS Vicki has a best friend that we all dream of, AND the ending seems to set up a story for her!!!! Fingers crossedI don't want to give it all away, BUT I loved every minute of this book, and I really hope everyone else does too.
Okay, I started reading this book completely as a fuck it why the hell not. But there was nothing in the book that disappointed, the spice slayed, the witty banter had me cracking up and everything in between was amazing. There was no parts in the book where I wanted to put it down. It was just an all up amazing read and I would recommend it to anyone who wants a purely spicey book with a sprinkle of plot.
Dark romance reader Vicki meets 3 men who have less than desirable night jobs when she’s kidnapped only that turned into a giant f*** fest. She was held for ransom which in turned switched from asking money from her father to a crime family. In the end Vicki found love with her 3 captors. Loved this.
I stumble into this book by accident and I just knew I had to read it. I did not regret it, I LOVED it. Sometimes, you just need a funny, reverse harem, dark romance book to cheer you up. This book was made specifically for dark romance reader and I was here for it. Is it the best book ever ? No. But who cares! It was a fun and quick read.
This book is definitely an amazing book. The way the author wrote it keeps you guessing what will happen next. This book starts out with a bad hook up where Vicki ends up calling her best friend luce to save the day with wine and other necessities. The next day she has a date with a guy who she actually really enjoyed being around, but she had to do her father's biddings at the bank so she had to cut the date short. Little did she know her life was about to change . After the Three main male characters kidnap her and figure out that's she enjoys what they are doing to her spicy wise and is ok with why they kidnaped her. After being with them for almost a week Vicki and 2 of the mmcs get taken by a family of killers. Leaving one of the mmc and Luce to rescue them. With a very shocking twist at the end with not only Vicki but Luce.
Gosh this is such a fun book. If you enjoyed Losers by Harley Laroux or Lights Out by Navessa Allen then you’ll enjoy this book. The writing is a bit clunky sometimes, and lacks proper formatting for desired effects (big plot points are buried in the middle of lengthy paragraphs). In spite of this, it was a really great story and a quick read. It’s a great balance between silliness, darkness and smut.
The FMC is plus sized, a dark romance girly and there’s an on page STRONG female friendship which I always love; her bestie is her ride or die. Their in jokes and banter had me laughing out loud. The MMCs are individual and each have unique characteristics and kinks, and they all give the FMC something different. The story moves well, and there are lots of little details that hint at another book, but without feeling like an enormous foreshadow over the plot. I feel there ought to have been a bit more safe sex talk (safe words / contraceptives / kink list yay or nay) but it’s a work of fiction, and it didn’t hugely distract.
🖤Kidnapping 🖤Dark Romance Girlie 🖤Dark Rom-Com 🖤No FF or MM 🖤Hardcore Ride or Die Bestie 🖤LOTS of steam 🖤RH 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️
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If you are a fan of Lights Out, by Navessa Allen, then you will absolutely LOVE this book! On top of everything listed above, we've got snark, banter, kitties!, revenge, interesting side hobbies for the MMCs, and lots of kinks!
I was immediately hooked from the dedication & author note. Once I was in the epilogue, I was laughing so hard that I started snorting and couldn't stop. My hubby doubled over, himself, just because of my laughing & snorting. My stomach still hurts!
There's not much angst apart from Vicki being the ultimate brat and being unable to stop her rambling. How they didn't throw her back, from that alone, is beyond me...especially once she was kidnapped a 2nd time by others!
If you're a dark girlie, and also love RH, you'll want to dive into this one right away!
Well, this one was a lot of fun. A dark romance girlie gets kidnapped for ransom and realises it really turns her on. Enter three very handsome men with sworded pasts and hearts of gold who have struggled to find a girl who likes it rough and dangerous. The result? A week of fun, a two million dollar ransom, plenty of laughs, an enthusiastic (and jealous) girl best friend, and a wild story. I felt like this book got better and better toward the end.
My favourite quote was when the main character was threatened, she replied with, "Ironic. I was just thinking about ways to kill myself to get myself out of your rank ass presence. If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ." What a sick burn! If you love banter and a few puns thrown in for good measure, this book was actually pretty good.
I think the writing style and type of humor isn’t for me, which is a me problem and that’s why the book gets 2 stars instead of 1. It hasn’t got much substance/character development and the kinks and sex aren’t portrayed in way that held my attention. This tries to be funny so badly, but it felt trite and overdone to me. I also dislike being told multiple times within just a few pages how hot that character thinks they are because of their whatever. In this case it was the thick curves. Even one of the MMCs first descriptors of her body is about those thick thighs. I get it. She’s apparently thick.
Probably not an author I’ll read again, but since lots of readers seem to like her humor, she won’t need me.
***Please note that this review is mainly for my benefit as it is more of a summary of the book and may contain spoilers.***
🌶🌶🌶🌶 -Abduction -Anal Rimming -M to F anal rimming -Belt -Biting -Car Sex -Crime (M is a cleaner for the Mafia) -Cuckohld -"Daddy" - Degradation -Dining Room Sex -Dom and Sub -DUBCON (Dubious Consent) -DVP (Double Vaginal Penetration) with two cocks -Exhibitionism -Hidden Identity -Kitchen Sex -M Masturbation -MF -F to M oral -M to F oral -MFM -Mask -Mutual Masturbation -One Night Stand -Outdoor Sex -Praise -Primal Kink -Public Sex (movie theater) -Punishment -Restraints -Reverse Harem -Sex in the Woods -Spanking -Squirting -Vaginal Felching -Vaginal Fisting
1 M masturbation scene 22 MF sex scenes 2 MFM sex scenes
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
soft dnf af 24% on this. i might try again later when i am more in the mood for just reading smut.
i saw this recommended in a facebook group and heard how funny it was. but the book immediately starts with the fmc having sex with an OM, and it’s on page detail. i know that that is needed for context of the fmc’s sexual preferences, but still could have done without. and the OM doesn’t tell the fmc he took the condom off.
after the fmc is kidnapped by the mmcs, things get sexual between them pretty quickly and i get it’s not supposed to be super realistic but my brain just couldn’t make the jump to any sort of believability to continue reading.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
I wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. I literally read it in one night because I couldn't put it down. It has the perfect amount of spice, plot, and humor. I don't often laugh out loud when reading, but this book made me giggle like a school girl. I can't wait for the next one!
This is truly one of my new favorites. I wasn’t expecting to laugh as much as I did. But seriously if you and your partner have ever recreated a scene out of your fave dark romance books, you’ll love this.
But pleaseeee please please tell me our favorite bestie is getting her own book!?! Loved her. I loved their friendship.
Plot: 4/5 • Smut: 4/5 ————> Vicki not only gets kidnapped once, but twice. Her first group of kidnappers, the ones who fulfill all her darkest fantasies are actually the good guys. The second group not so much. This contemporary RH, has a few dark moments, but for the most part is pretty light hearted. We do get an HEA. Smut was good.
Warning filthy AF. Kink with a touch of mafia, kidnapping, crap families but loyal friends. Funny moments, three mmcs who fall hard and a fmc who is sassy, mouthy, bratty and filthy for her men. No mm the men are all about her and sharing her, no cheating she's their Queen. A HEA. Twisted and dark but romantic I cheered for them all.
This book definitely delivers all the spice! A single woman living out her darkest, dirtiest fantasies with three incredibly sexy men? Yes, please.
Kinknapped is fast-paced, filthy (in the best way), and impossible to put down. If you’re looking for a book that lets you live vicariously through the FMC as she gets everything she’s ever dreamed of — this one’s for you.
This book is not high art. It is however a fantastic read. It is mostly spice, and a little bit well done background plot, and fantastic banter. The friendship between the fmc and her bestie is gold.
As ridiculously funny as it sounds! When dark romance girlie Vicki is kidnapped at knifepoint by 3 masked men, she accidentally moans and tries to recover with …I mean oh no! 😂 the writing isn’t the best, but the fun story makes up for it!
Did you ever read a book that was absolutely ridiculous but continue to read it? That was this book I laughed out loud so many times. It was so unserious and corny. It is not dark whatsoever. I have already recommended this book two people.
I'm keeping this rating at a three, just because I can't tell if I loved this or not. Don't get me wrong, I was dying and I absolutely love the friendship between V and L, but I just needed something more.
*we listen and we don’t judge* Listen this isn’t gonna win any awards for the writing but this was such a fun read. Genuinely an enjoyable read and the twist at the end - did not see that coming!! Can’t wait to read more of this authors work now
Dude this book took me on a freaking joyride! I dont know how she crammed all those tropes in there but by golly she did! It was hot and so funny and THE TWIST WAS CRAZY! Yall gotta read this!
A curvy fmc with adhd and endless sexual appetite? 3 unhinged guys to take care of said fmc sexual appetite? I snorted, I cackled, I fantasized , this book had me going, and never related to a fmc so much.
Why do I insist on underestimating books? This was dark but fluffy, cosy and cute all wrapped up into one book. I can't explain it but it gave me all the feels!