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Lost in the Reflecting Pool: Surviving Narcissistic Emotional Abuse
An invitation into a psychologist's personal consulting room to witness her own psychological love story to gain an understanding of EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
At times tender and at times horrifying, Lost in the Reflecting Pool chronicles Dr. Pomerantz’s struggle to survive within and ultimately break free from an emotionally abusive relationship with a self-absorbed man incapable of empathy or compassion.
At times tender and at times horrifying, Lost in the Reflecting Pool chronicles Dr. Pomerantz’s struggle to survive within and ultimately break free from an emotionally abusive relationship with a self-absorbed man incapable of empathy or compassion.
- GenresMemoir
341 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 22, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
October 28, 2024
Lost in the Reflecting Pool stands as a poignant and deeply unsettling memoir that offers a profound exploration of the fragility and complexity of human relationships. At its core, the narrative is a vivid psychological portrait of love, initially framed as hopeful and mutually enriching, only to devolve into a harrowing depiction of emotional abuse and control. Diane, a psychologist herself, begins her journey with Charles, a charismatic psychiatrist, believing in the promise of shared dreams and the pursuit of family. However, as the memoir unfolds, the relationship becomes a study in the dark undercurrents of narcissism, manipulation, and isolation.
What makes Lost in the Reflecting Pool particularly compelling from a literary perspective is its dual nature as both a love story and a cautionary tale of psychological entrapment. The memoir intricately unravels the devastating effects of emotional abuse, particularly as Diane faces her own battle with breast cancer. It is in these moments of vulnerability that Charles's cruelty is laid bare, and the psychological tension reaches its apex. Diane’s gradual awareness of her partner’s pathology is marked by a slow, painful recognition of her reality—an experience all too common in toxic relationships, yet rarely articulated with such raw honesty.
For the literary scholar, this memoir offers more than a personal account of suffering; it is a rich text for examining themes of power, control, and the erosion of self. The psychological interplay between Diane and Charles serves as a lens through which to explore the destructive dynamics that often lie hidden beneath the surface of romantic relationships. The narrative invites readers to consider how love can become a vehicle for control, and how survival often depends on reclaiming one’s sense of identity in the face of overwhelming emotional manipulation.
Ultimately, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a courageous narrative of survival and autonomy. Diane’s journey toward self-reclamation, though heartbreaking, is also deeply empowering. It is a testament to the resilience required to confront difficult truths, particularly those we are often unwilling to acknowledge in the midst of love. For those drawn to character-driven memoirs that explore the boundaries between love and control, this work offers an unflinchingly honest account of the painful yet necessary process of breaking free from toxic relationships.
What makes Lost in the Reflecting Pool particularly compelling from a literary perspective is its dual nature as both a love story and a cautionary tale of psychological entrapment. The memoir intricately unravels the devastating effects of emotional abuse, particularly as Diane faces her own battle with breast cancer. It is in these moments of vulnerability that Charles's cruelty is laid bare, and the psychological tension reaches its apex. Diane’s gradual awareness of her partner’s pathology is marked by a slow, painful recognition of her reality—an experience all too common in toxic relationships, yet rarely articulated with such raw honesty.
For the literary scholar, this memoir offers more than a personal account of suffering; it is a rich text for examining themes of power, control, and the erosion of self. The psychological interplay between Diane and Charles serves as a lens through which to explore the destructive dynamics that often lie hidden beneath the surface of romantic relationships. The narrative invites readers to consider how love can become a vehicle for control, and how survival often depends on reclaiming one’s sense of identity in the face of overwhelming emotional manipulation.
Ultimately, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a courageous narrative of survival and autonomy. Diane’s journey toward self-reclamation, though heartbreaking, is also deeply empowering. It is a testament to the resilience required to confront difficult truths, particularly those we are often unwilling to acknowledge in the midst of love. For those drawn to character-driven memoirs that explore the boundaries between love and control, this work offers an unflinchingly honest account of the painful yet necessary process of breaking free from toxic relationships.
February 8, 2025
Diane C. Pomerantz’s memoir, “Lost in the Reflecting Pool: Surviving Narcissistic Emotional Abuse,” is a profoundly moving account of her journey through the painful path of dealing with the emotional abuse specific to narcissism. As a psychologist, Pomerantz offers a unique perspective, intertwining personal narrative with professional insight that resonates deeply with readers familiar with the difficulties of being involved with someone who has narcissistic traits.
The memoir begins with Pomerantz’s initial attraction to her husband, a psychiatrist whose charm soon reveals a darker, self-absorbed nature. As the narrative progresses, it becomes clear that he embodies the classic traits of narcissism, including lacking empathy and compassion. Pomerantz’s reflections on her relationship are both poignant and relatable, drawing readers into her internal struggle as she also grapples with the challenges of infertility, and later breast cancer.
What is particularly striking is her husband’s response to these crises; instead of providing support, he trivializes her suffering, accusing her of seeking attention. This betrayal is compounded by his infidelities, as Pomerantz comes across upsetting evidence of his affairs with patients. Her discovery is not just a personal betrayal but a profound violation of trust and ethical standards, which puts his medical license at risk.
Pomerantz’s decision to escape her toxic environment is a pivotal moment in the memoir. With the assistance of her father, she finds a nice home in a friendly, safe neighborhood, for herself and her children. They are finally able to live in a peaceful environment. A big part of her healing comes from knowing that she and her children are in a better place. The ex-husband continues to try to disrupt the peace when he can, however, he will also experience the consequences of his actions.
What sets “Lost in the Reflecting Pool” apart is its dual role as both memoir and self-help guide. In the Afterword, Pomerantz shifts from storyteller to psychologist, providing readers with valuable tools to recognize and deal with emotionally abusive relationships. This combination of personal narrative and professional advice makes her memoir an empowering resource for those who are dealing with similar experiences. Readers will find relief in knowing that they are not alone.
“Lost in the Reflecting Pool” is not just a story of survival; it is a sign of hope and a helpful resource for anyone who has felt trapped in a relationship with a narcissist. Pomerantz’s journey will show readers that escaping and healing from a narcissistic relationship are possible. This memoir is a must-read for anyone seeking solutions for dealing with emotional abuse.
The memoir begins with Pomerantz’s initial attraction to her husband, a psychiatrist whose charm soon reveals a darker, self-absorbed nature. As the narrative progresses, it becomes clear that he embodies the classic traits of narcissism, including lacking empathy and compassion. Pomerantz’s reflections on her relationship are both poignant and relatable, drawing readers into her internal struggle as she also grapples with the challenges of infertility, and later breast cancer.
What is particularly striking is her husband’s response to these crises; instead of providing support, he trivializes her suffering, accusing her of seeking attention. This betrayal is compounded by his infidelities, as Pomerantz comes across upsetting evidence of his affairs with patients. Her discovery is not just a personal betrayal but a profound violation of trust and ethical standards, which puts his medical license at risk.
Pomerantz’s decision to escape her toxic environment is a pivotal moment in the memoir. With the assistance of her father, she finds a nice home in a friendly, safe neighborhood, for herself and her children. They are finally able to live in a peaceful environment. A big part of her healing comes from knowing that she and her children are in a better place. The ex-husband continues to try to disrupt the peace when he can, however, he will also experience the consequences of his actions.
What sets “Lost in the Reflecting Pool” apart is its dual role as both memoir and self-help guide. In the Afterword, Pomerantz shifts from storyteller to psychologist, providing readers with valuable tools to recognize and deal with emotionally abusive relationships. This combination of personal narrative and professional advice makes her memoir an empowering resource for those who are dealing with similar experiences. Readers will find relief in knowing that they are not alone.
“Lost in the Reflecting Pool” is not just a story of survival; it is a sign of hope and a helpful resource for anyone who has felt trapped in a relationship with a narcissist. Pomerantz’s journey will show readers that escaping and healing from a narcissistic relationship are possible. This memoir is a must-read for anyone seeking solutions for dealing with emotional abuse.
October 28, 2024
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a haunting and deeply emotional memoir that peels back the layers of a psychological love story turned nightmare. Diane, a psychologist, shares her journey of falling in love with Charles, a charismatic psychiatrist, and the slow unraveling of their relationship. What begins as a story of hope—marked by love, shared dreams, and the pursuit of building a family—soon shifts into a tale of emotional abuse, control, and profound isolation.
For the literary lover, this memoir is not just a chronicle of one woman's struggle but a study in the complexities of human behavior, love, and the darker sides of relationships. Diane’s initial adoration for Charles slowly gives way to the horror of realizing his pathological narcissism, which emerges most clearly when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. The psychological tension in the narrative is palpable, as Diane grapples with her growing awareness of Charles' cruelty and her fight to break free from his emotionally destructive grip.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is both tender and terrifying, offering readers an unflinchingly honest look at the dynamics of abuse cloaked in love. It is a memoir that will resonate with readers who appreciate nuanced, character-driven stories that explore the boundaries of love, control, and self-preservation. Diane’s journey toward reclaiming her voice and autonomy is heartbreaking yet empowering, a testament to the strength it takes to confront the truths we often refuse to see. This is not just a psychological memoir; it's a narrative of survival and the painful but necessary journey to break free from toxic love.
For the literary lover, this memoir is not just a chronicle of one woman's struggle but a study in the complexities of human behavior, love, and the darker sides of relationships. Diane’s initial adoration for Charles slowly gives way to the horror of realizing his pathological narcissism, which emerges most clearly when she is diagnosed with breast cancer. The psychological tension in the narrative is palpable, as Diane grapples with her growing awareness of Charles' cruelty and her fight to break free from his emotionally destructive grip.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is both tender and terrifying, offering readers an unflinchingly honest look at the dynamics of abuse cloaked in love. It is a memoir that will resonate with readers who appreciate nuanced, character-driven stories that explore the boundaries of love, control, and self-preservation. Diane’s journey toward reclaiming her voice and autonomy is heartbreaking yet empowering, a testament to the strength it takes to confront the truths we often refuse to see. This is not just a psychological memoir; it's a narrative of survival and the painful but necessary journey to break free from toxic love.
January 22, 2025
Reading Lost in the Reflecting Pool felt like peering into my own fractured memories, a mirror reflecting not just Diane’s pain but my own. Her story is raw, unfiltered, and devastatingly human. She doesn't just recount her experiences with emotional abuse—she brings you into the suffocating reality of loving someone who manipulates and controls under the guise of affection.
The way Diane weaves her personal trauma with the universal truths about narcissistic abuse left me breathless. I found myself nodding at her descriptions of walking on eggshells, the cycle of gaslighting, and the confusion that comes from loving someone who shatters you from within. Her words validated emotions I’ve often felt but struggled to articulate.
Beyond the pain, this book offers a lifeline—a way out of the darkness. Diane’s resilience in reclaiming her identity and rediscovering her strength serves as a beacon of hope for anyone feeling trapped in a similar cycle.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is more than just a memoir; it’s a testament to survival and the unyielding power of self-love. I closed the book with tears in my eyes but also a newfound sense of courage. Diane’s story reminds us that even in the darkest moments, there is a way forward, and that reflection, however painful, is the first step to freedom.
The way Diane weaves her personal trauma with the universal truths about narcissistic abuse left me breathless. I found myself nodding at her descriptions of walking on eggshells, the cycle of gaslighting, and the confusion that comes from loving someone who shatters you from within. Her words validated emotions I’ve often felt but struggled to articulate.
Beyond the pain, this book offers a lifeline—a way out of the darkness. Diane’s resilience in reclaiming her identity and rediscovering her strength serves as a beacon of hope for anyone feeling trapped in a similar cycle.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is more than just a memoir; it’s a testament to survival and the unyielding power of self-love. I closed the book with tears in my eyes but also a newfound sense of courage. Diane’s story reminds us that even in the darkest moments, there is a way forward, and that reflection, however painful, is the first step to freedom.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 27, 2025
Book Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz, Ph.D.
Diane Pomerantz’s Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a deeply personal and emotionally powerful memoir that explores the realities of narcissistic emotional abuse. As a psychologist, Pomerantz offers a unique perspective, blending professional insight with her own painful experiences.
The book chronicles her relationship with a self-absorbed, manipulative partner, exposing the slow, insidious erosion of self-worth that occurs in emotionally abusive relationships. At times tender and at times chilling, her story sheds light on the psychological impact of gaslighting, control, and emotional neglect.
Pomerantz’s writing is raw and immersive, making the reader feel the weight of her struggle while also highlighting the strength it takes to break free. This book is not just a memoir but a valuable resource for understanding emotional abuse and its lasting effects. A gripping, heartbreaking, yet ultimately empowering read.
By insta@Rebecca.wilsonbooks
Diane Pomerantz’s Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a deeply personal and emotionally powerful memoir that explores the realities of narcissistic emotional abuse. As a psychologist, Pomerantz offers a unique perspective, blending professional insight with her own painful experiences.
The book chronicles her relationship with a self-absorbed, manipulative partner, exposing the slow, insidious erosion of self-worth that occurs in emotionally abusive relationships. At times tender and at times chilling, her story sheds light on the psychological impact of gaslighting, control, and emotional neglect.
Pomerantz’s writing is raw and immersive, making the reader feel the weight of her struggle while also highlighting the strength it takes to break free. This book is not just a memoir but a valuable resource for understanding emotional abuse and its lasting effects. A gripping, heartbreaking, yet ultimately empowering read.
By insta@Rebecca.wilsonbooks
September 4, 2025
Memoir enthusiasts will find this book deeply engaging. It tells the story of Diane, whose experiences resonate with anyone navigating life’s toughest challenges—whether it’s abusive relationships, a cancer diagnosis and treatment, infertility, grief, etc.
Diane met Charles on a blind date. At first, his thoughtful gestures won her heart, but over time his true nature began to surface, even as Diane tried to overlook the red flags. Struggling with infertility, she unfairly carried all the blame herself. Later, during her battle with cancer, the absence of Charles’s support opened her eyes, forcing her to see him for who he truly was.
I found myself binge-reading this memoir. The title and cover perfectly match the essence of the story. The writing is honest and raw, and I admire the author’s courage in sharing such personal experiences. The narrative flows smoothly, offering readers an intimate glimpse into Diane’s life and valuable lessons drawn from her journey.
Diane met Charles on a blind date. At first, his thoughtful gestures won her heart, but over time his true nature began to surface, even as Diane tried to overlook the red flags. Struggling with infertility, she unfairly carried all the blame herself. Later, during her battle with cancer, the absence of Charles’s support opened her eyes, forcing her to see him for who he truly was.
I found myself binge-reading this memoir. The title and cover perfectly match the essence of the story. The writing is honest and raw, and I admire the author’s courage in sharing such personal experiences. The narrative flows smoothly, offering readers an intimate glimpse into Diane’s life and valuable lessons drawn from her journey.
November 2, 2025
“When love becomes a mirror of pain, healing begins the moment you dare to see your own reflection.”
📘 Title: Lost in the Reflecting Pool
✍️ Author: Diane Pomerantz
📝 Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz is an unflinching and deeply moving memoir that peels back the layers of emotional abuse with both vulnerability and strength. As a respected psychologist, Dr. Pomerantz opens the door not to a patient’s story—but her own. What begins as a romance filled with promise slowly unravels into a chilling exploration of control, manipulation, and psychological torment.
Through her skilled, reflective prose, Pomerantz captures the subtle erosion of self-worth that defines emotional abuse—how love can become a weapon and how silence becomes survival. Her journey from denial to awareness, and finally to liberation, offers a powerful message: that reclaiming one’s voice is the first step toward freedom.
Both heartbreaking and empowering, this book is not just a memoir—it’s a testament to resilience. For anyone who has ever doubted their strength, Lost in the Reflecting Pool reminds us that healing is not linear but always possible.
📘 Title: Lost in the Reflecting Pool
✍️ Author: Diane Pomerantz
📝 Review: Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane Pomerantz is an unflinching and deeply moving memoir that peels back the layers of emotional abuse with both vulnerability and strength. As a respected psychologist, Dr. Pomerantz opens the door not to a patient’s story—but her own. What begins as a romance filled with promise slowly unravels into a chilling exploration of control, manipulation, and psychological torment.
Through her skilled, reflective prose, Pomerantz captures the subtle erosion of self-worth that defines emotional abuse—how love can become a weapon and how silence becomes survival. Her journey from denial to awareness, and finally to liberation, offers a powerful message: that reclaiming one’s voice is the first step toward freedom.
Both heartbreaking and empowering, this book is not just a memoir—it’s a testament to resilience. For anyone who has ever doubted their strength, Lost in the Reflecting Pool reminds us that healing is not linear but always possible.
January 21, 2025
Reading this truly had me feeling her emotions. The loss, the hurt, and the courage. Absolutely beautifully written. Truly recommend. Not only is it informative of what to look out for in an abusive relationship, but it also gives you perspective and insight on why someone might stay and not leave right away. It's little things built up over time, it's the false promises, it's the building up to just bring them down. Love bombing, and breaking down to make you feel weak and unsure of how things really are.
February 2, 2025
This book had my emotions everywhere but enjoyed it.
February 3, 2025
“Lost in the Reflecting Pool” by Diane Pomerantz, PH.D. is a personal account of the author’s
marriage and her emotional rollercoaster, which led to her new lease of life. Diane, a psychologist, shares her real-life marriage story, with honesty and humility.
Diane recounts her journey from the very beginning of her relationship and highlights how often-times, we brush-off rude and insensitive remarks and actions, as we tend to be blinded with a fools-hope. Charles, is from the offset, a very charming person, who seems to share similarities with Diane, including his profession, as a psychiatrist. Together they commence a fast-paced relationship, with the promise of creating a family and reaching their goals.
Soon enough their relationship hits a bumpy road, when the lie of another past-relationship, which has not seemed to have ended, is arisen. Charles, a master-manipulator convinces Diane on pausing their relationship for a while, until he is ready to make a decision on the termination of the other relationship. Charles makes his decision to continue with Diane, and together they start anew, move in together and get married.
With a new hope of a long and happy life together, and their dreams to create a new family, they attempt getting pregnant, but undergo a series of failed pregnancies. Their hardship, together with the fertility treatments and a failed adoption, increase their anxieties, pulling strain on themselves.
Soon after some light is shed, when an adoption of a baby girl goes through and shortly after Diane becomes pregnant. What seems to be a realised-goal, slowly turns into a disaster, as Charles becomes isolated, cruel and even aggressive towards the children, making Diane feel alone. Charles attempts to control every aspect of all their lives, from financial freedom, to what they are actually allowed to do, bringing to light his narcissistic tendencies.
Diane is further thrown into the depths of a nightmare when she is diagnosed with cancer. Without any help or acknowledgement from her husband, undergoing major operations and having to take care of the children, she is further sent on the edge of despair, when she finds out of another betrayal.
This book radiates the importance of having a circle of trust with family and friends, who will aid in giving strength, to become more resilient. It is an inspiring and uplifting story, even though Diane suffered tremendously. This book highlights the importance of self-growth and how we should not mirror the reflection of the person we are with, or how they wish us to be, but radiates the importance of self-love and awareness. “By embarking on a journey of self-reflection and growth, we empower ourselves to recognise the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.”
At the end of the book there is a chapter focused on acknowledging the signs, where the reader can learn to distinguish the characteristics of an emotional abusive relationship, together with some guidance tips on how interact, focusing on your well-being.
Recommend this book to anyone who would like more awareness on emotional abuse, how to become more resilient and to empower yourself, or anyone in need.
marriage and her emotional rollercoaster, which led to her new lease of life. Diane, a psychologist, shares her real-life marriage story, with honesty and humility.
Diane recounts her journey from the very beginning of her relationship and highlights how often-times, we brush-off rude and insensitive remarks and actions, as we tend to be blinded with a fools-hope. Charles, is from the offset, a very charming person, who seems to share similarities with Diane, including his profession, as a psychiatrist. Together they commence a fast-paced relationship, with the promise of creating a family and reaching their goals.
Soon enough their relationship hits a bumpy road, when the lie of another past-relationship, which has not seemed to have ended, is arisen. Charles, a master-manipulator convinces Diane on pausing their relationship for a while, until he is ready to make a decision on the termination of the other relationship. Charles makes his decision to continue with Diane, and together they start anew, move in together and get married.
With a new hope of a long and happy life together, and their dreams to create a new family, they attempt getting pregnant, but undergo a series of failed pregnancies. Their hardship, together with the fertility treatments and a failed adoption, increase their anxieties, pulling strain on themselves.
Soon after some light is shed, when an adoption of a baby girl goes through and shortly after Diane becomes pregnant. What seems to be a realised-goal, slowly turns into a disaster, as Charles becomes isolated, cruel and even aggressive towards the children, making Diane feel alone. Charles attempts to control every aspect of all their lives, from financial freedom, to what they are actually allowed to do, bringing to light his narcissistic tendencies.
Diane is further thrown into the depths of a nightmare when she is diagnosed with cancer. Without any help or acknowledgement from her husband, undergoing major operations and having to take care of the children, she is further sent on the edge of despair, when she finds out of another betrayal.
This book radiates the importance of having a circle of trust with family and friends, who will aid in giving strength, to become more resilient. It is an inspiring and uplifting story, even though Diane suffered tremendously. This book highlights the importance of self-growth and how we should not mirror the reflection of the person we are with, or how they wish us to be, but radiates the importance of self-love and awareness. “By embarking on a journey of self-reflection and growth, we empower ourselves to recognise the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship.”
At the end of the book there is a chapter focused on acknowledging the signs, where the reader can learn to distinguish the characteristics of an emotional abusive relationship, together with some guidance tips on how interact, focusing on your well-being.
Recommend this book to anyone who would like more awareness on emotional abuse, how to become more resilient and to empower yourself, or anyone in need.
December 27, 2024
Diane Pomerantz’s Lost in the Reflecting Pool is one of the most compelling and heartbreaking memoirs I’ve ever read. It’s not just a story about love gone wrong—it’s a deeply personal exploration of what happens when someone you trust and adore reveals a dark, controlling, and emotionally abusive side. Diane, a psychologist, takes us through her journey of falling in love with Charles, a seemingly charming psychiatrist, only to discover the pain and isolation that comes with being in a relationship with a narcissist.
The strength of this memoir lies in its honesty and vulnerability. Diane’s story begins with the kind of romance that seems full of promise. She and Charles share dreams of building a family and a future together. But as the relationship progresses, cracks begin to appear—cracks that eventually widen into chasms of emotional manipulation, coldness, and psychological control. What makes her story even more heart-wrenching is that she has to endure this cruelty while battling breast cancer.
Reading this book, I was struck by how Diane weaves her personal experiences with her professional understanding of human behavior. As a psychologist, she has the tools to recognize the red flags, yet she shows how love, hope, and denial can cloud even the sharpest minds. This dual perspective makes her story relatable and insightful, showing that emotional abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their knowledge or expertise. The writing is beautiful and evocative, balancing moments of tenderness and vulnerability with scenes that are truly chilling. Diane doesn’t shy away from detailing the slow erosion of her confidence and identity, and as a reader, you feel her pain, frustration, and eventual determination to break free. Her resilience is incredibly inspiring.
What stood out to me most is how Diane captures the subtle, insidious nature of emotional abuse. It’s not always loud or obvious—it can be quiet, calculated, and wrapped in layers of manipulation. This book doesn’t just recount Diane’s personal struggle; it sheds light on a form of abuse that is often overlooked or misunderstood. Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a deeply emotional, thought-provoking read that left me thinking about it long after I turned the last page. It’s a story of survival, strength, and self-discovery that will resonate with anyone who has experienced—or wants to understand—the devastating effects of toxic relationships. It’s not an easy read, but it’s an important one. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a raw and honest exploration of love, loss, and resilience
The strength of this memoir lies in its honesty and vulnerability. Diane’s story begins with the kind of romance that seems full of promise. She and Charles share dreams of building a family and a future together. But as the relationship progresses, cracks begin to appear—cracks that eventually widen into chasms of emotional manipulation, coldness, and psychological control. What makes her story even more heart-wrenching is that she has to endure this cruelty while battling breast cancer.
Reading this book, I was struck by how Diane weaves her personal experiences with her professional understanding of human behavior. As a psychologist, she has the tools to recognize the red flags, yet she shows how love, hope, and denial can cloud even the sharpest minds. This dual perspective makes her story relatable and insightful, showing that emotional abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their knowledge or expertise. The writing is beautiful and evocative, balancing moments of tenderness and vulnerability with scenes that are truly chilling. Diane doesn’t shy away from detailing the slow erosion of her confidence and identity, and as a reader, you feel her pain, frustration, and eventual determination to break free. Her resilience is incredibly inspiring.
What stood out to me most is how Diane captures the subtle, insidious nature of emotional abuse. It’s not always loud or obvious—it can be quiet, calculated, and wrapped in layers of manipulation. This book doesn’t just recount Diane’s personal struggle; it sheds light on a form of abuse that is often overlooked or misunderstood. Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a deeply emotional, thought-provoking read that left me thinking about it long after I turned the last page. It’s a story of survival, strength, and self-discovery that will resonate with anyone who has experienced—or wants to understand—the devastating effects of toxic relationships. It’s not an easy read, but it’s an important one. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a raw and honest exploration of love, loss, and resilience
December 26, 2024
Lost in the Reflecting Pool: Surviving Narcissistic Emotional Abuse
By Diane Pomerantz
Rating:5/5
Review:
👉Diane Pomerantz’s memoir is an unforgettable journey into the hidden realities of emotional abuse and the resilience it takes to survive. As both a psychologist and a survivor, Pomerantz courageously invites readers into her world, blending professional insight with the raw authenticity of her personal story. From the first page, her words envelop you, delivering a narrative that is as tender as it is heart-wrenching.
👉This book chronicles Diane’s relationship with a narcissistic partner—charming on the surface but emotionally destructive at his core. Through moments of fleeting hope, chilling despair, and eventual liberation, Diane paints a vivid picture of the devastating impact of emotional abuse. The story shines a light on the intricate web of manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation that abusers often weave, making it painfully relatable for anyone who has experienced similar circumstances.
👉What sets Lost in the Reflecting Pool apart is its dual perspective. Diane’s expertise as a psychologist lends clarity and depth to her observations, helping readers understand the psychological patterns behind narcissistic abuse. Simultaneously, her vulnerability as a victim makes her journey deeply personal and profoundly moving. This balance creates a narrative that is equal parts educational and cathartic.
👉Her prose is eloquent yet accessible, ensuring that the message resonates with readers of all backgrounds. Diane doesn’t sugarcoat her pain, but she also doesn’t leave you without hope. Every chapter is infused with resilience, showing that even in the darkest times, there is a way forward. Her ultimate liberation is both empowering and inspiring, reminding readers of the strength we all possess to reclaim our lives.
✨ This memoir isn’t just a book—it’s a lifeline. It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the dynamics of emotional abuse or find solace and strength in someone else’s survival story. Diane’s courage in sharing her experience is a gift, and her words will linger long after you turn the final page.
Happy reading 😁 😁
By Diane Pomerantz
Rating:5/5
Review:
👉Diane Pomerantz’s memoir is an unforgettable journey into the hidden realities of emotional abuse and the resilience it takes to survive. As both a psychologist and a survivor, Pomerantz courageously invites readers into her world, blending professional insight with the raw authenticity of her personal story. From the first page, her words envelop you, delivering a narrative that is as tender as it is heart-wrenching.
👉This book chronicles Diane’s relationship with a narcissistic partner—charming on the surface but emotionally destructive at his core. Through moments of fleeting hope, chilling despair, and eventual liberation, Diane paints a vivid picture of the devastating impact of emotional abuse. The story shines a light on the intricate web of manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation that abusers often weave, making it painfully relatable for anyone who has experienced similar circumstances.
👉What sets Lost in the Reflecting Pool apart is its dual perspective. Diane’s expertise as a psychologist lends clarity and depth to her observations, helping readers understand the psychological patterns behind narcissistic abuse. Simultaneously, her vulnerability as a victim makes her journey deeply personal and profoundly moving. This balance creates a narrative that is equal parts educational and cathartic.
👉Her prose is eloquent yet accessible, ensuring that the message resonates with readers of all backgrounds. Diane doesn’t sugarcoat her pain, but she also doesn’t leave you without hope. Every chapter is infused with resilience, showing that even in the darkest times, there is a way forward. Her ultimate liberation is both empowering and inspiring, reminding readers of the strength we all possess to reclaim our lives.
✨ This memoir isn’t just a book—it’s a lifeline. It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to understand the dynamics of emotional abuse or find solace and strength in someone else’s survival story. Diane’s courage in sharing her experience is a gift, and her words will linger long after you turn the final page.
Happy reading 😁 😁
January 3, 2025
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is an emotional journey that explores love and life, courage and endurance, made all the more meaningful by Dr. Pomerantz's human frailty.
Like the wildflowers in a field, which may seem delicate yet find ways to endure and thrive, Pomerantz emerges from her long-suffering not as an invulnerable superhero, but as a deeply feeling and thoughtful woman, mother, and therapist, ultimately becoming more beautiful for it.
This poignant true story depicts how an intelligent woman finds herself trapped in a marriage that gradually becomes emotionally and mentally abusive. Step by step, she loses her sense of self and autonomy until she fights to reclaim her independence and self-worth.
This gem of a book stands out because the author not only survives an abusive marriage but also triumphs over cancer. Through writing her memoir, she processes and reevaluates her memories, changing her perception of her internal reality. This broader understanding allows her to move on. She hopes that by sharing her story and insights, others may find new ways to rewrite or restructure their life narratives.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is both tender and terrifying, offering readers an unflinchingly honest look at the dynamics of abuse masquerading as love. It resonates with readers who appreciate nuanced, character-driven stories that delve into the boundaries of love, control, and self-preservation.
Diane's journey toward reclaiming her voice and autonomy is both heartbreaking and empowering, serving as a testament to the strength required to confront the uncomfortable truths we often avoid.
This memoir is not just a psychological account; it is a narrative of survival and the painful yet necessary journey to break free from toxic love. Diane's eloquent prose balances emotional depth with accessibility, transforming her memoir into a profound exploration of human resilience.
Her insights into emotional abuse offer understanding and empowerment, while her bravery in sharing her story serves as a beacon of hope.
This book is essential for anyone seeking to understand the dynamics of emotional abuse or in search of a narrative about strength and renewal.
Like the wildflowers in a field, which may seem delicate yet find ways to endure and thrive, Pomerantz emerges from her long-suffering not as an invulnerable superhero, but as a deeply feeling and thoughtful woman, mother, and therapist, ultimately becoming more beautiful for it.
This poignant true story depicts how an intelligent woman finds herself trapped in a marriage that gradually becomes emotionally and mentally abusive. Step by step, she loses her sense of self and autonomy until she fights to reclaim her independence and self-worth.
This gem of a book stands out because the author not only survives an abusive marriage but also triumphs over cancer. Through writing her memoir, she processes and reevaluates her memories, changing her perception of her internal reality. This broader understanding allows her to move on. She hopes that by sharing her story and insights, others may find new ways to rewrite or restructure their life narratives.
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is both tender and terrifying, offering readers an unflinchingly honest look at the dynamics of abuse masquerading as love. It resonates with readers who appreciate nuanced, character-driven stories that delve into the boundaries of love, control, and self-preservation.
Diane's journey toward reclaiming her voice and autonomy is both heartbreaking and empowering, serving as a testament to the strength required to confront the uncomfortable truths we often avoid.
This memoir is not just a psychological account; it is a narrative of survival and the painful yet necessary journey to break free from toxic love. Diane's eloquent prose balances emotional depth with accessibility, transforming her memoir into a profound exploration of human resilience.
Her insights into emotional abuse offer understanding and empowerment, while her bravery in sharing her story serves as a beacon of hope.
This book is essential for anyone seeking to understand the dynamics of emotional abuse or in search of a narrative about strength and renewal.
September 4, 2025
Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane is a poignant and powerful memoir that captures the struggles of falling in love, losing oneself, and slowly recognizing the truth behind a partner’s façade. Diane’s story is not just her own, but a reflection of the experiences of many women who have overlooked red flags in the name of love. The way Charles charms her with flowers and perfect words, only to follow with hurtful actions, makes the narrative both heartbreaking and relatable. It is a deeply human story that illustrates how easy it is to blame oneself instead of confronting the reality of a toxic relationship.
What makes this memoir impactful is its ability to resonate with anyone who has gone through the pain of a broken relationship. The author’s candid storytelling invites readers to reflect on their own choices and perhaps recognize times when they, too, ignored warning signs. It is an eye-opening account that reminds us of the importance of seeing people for who they truly are rather than who we want them to be. The emotional depth of the book makes it not only relatable but also transformative in the way it encourages self-awareness and strength.
The writing itself is engaging, descriptive, and well-paced, making the memoir easy to follow while still heavy with meaning. Diane’s courage in sharing her story offers hope to readers who may be struggling in similar situations. This book is more than just a memoir—it is a source of inspiration and empowerment.
What makes this memoir impactful is its ability to resonate with anyone who has gone through the pain of a broken relationship. The author’s candid storytelling invites readers to reflect on their own choices and perhaps recognize times when they, too, ignored warning signs. It is an eye-opening account that reminds us of the importance of seeing people for who they truly are rather than who we want them to be. The emotional depth of the book makes it not only relatable but also transformative in the way it encourages self-awareness and strength.
The writing itself is engaging, descriptive, and well-paced, making the memoir easy to follow while still heavy with meaning. Diane’s courage in sharing her story offers hope to readers who may be struggling in similar situations. This book is more than just a memoir—it is a source of inspiration and empowerment.
December 20, 2024
From the very first page, Diane Pomerantz draws readers into her consulting room and personal life with a narrative that is both raw and tender. The memoir explores her experiences as a psychologist navigating her own trauma while addressing the often-overlooked subject of emotional abuse. This gripping premise sets a powerful tone, offering an unflinching glimpse into the complexities of surviving and understanding such relationships.
Dr. Pomerantz recounts her relationship with a narcissistic partner, capturing moments of hope, despair, and eventual liberation. Her journey is deeply personal yet universally relatable, shedding light on the devastating impact of emotional abuse and the resilience it takes to overcome it. The tender and chilling moments are interwoven with such authenticity that her story becomes impossible to put down, offering readers both heart-wrenching truths and inspiring hope.✨
Diane’s eloquent prose balances emotional depth with accessibility, turning her memoir into a profound exploration of human resilience. Her insights into emotional abuse provide understanding and empowerment, while her courage in sharing her story serves as a beacon of hope. This book is an essential read for anyone seeking to grasp the dynamics of emotional abuse or searching for a story of strength and renewal.
Dr. Pomerantz recounts her relationship with a narcissistic partner, capturing moments of hope, despair, and eventual liberation. Her journey is deeply personal yet universally relatable, shedding light on the devastating impact of emotional abuse and the resilience it takes to overcome it. The tender and chilling moments are interwoven with such authenticity that her story becomes impossible to put down, offering readers both heart-wrenching truths and inspiring hope.✨
Diane’s eloquent prose balances emotional depth with accessibility, turning her memoir into a profound exploration of human resilience. Her insights into emotional abuse provide understanding and empowerment, while her courage in sharing her story serves as a beacon of hope. This book is an essential read for anyone seeking to grasp the dynamics of emotional abuse or searching for a story of strength and renewal.
August 28, 2025
Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a powerful memoir by Diane Pomerantz. Diane first met Charles on a blind date—he was thirty-eight, a psychiatrist, while she was a psychologist. Charles quickly won her over with flowers, home-cooked meals, laughter, and even by bonding with her dog.
The two eventually married, celebrating with a beautiful wedding and honeymoon in California. Yet, small doubts crept in when Charles’s words or actions didn’t sit right with Diane. As they struggled with infertility, Diane was fine with taking all the responsibilities. Over time, she found her confidence waning. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, the cracks in their marriage widened, and she began to see Charles’s lack of support and the troubling red flags in their relationship.
This memoir takes readers on Diane’s journey of pain, strength, and resilience. Will she find a way to move toward a better life? I admire the author’s courage in sharing such a personal story. For anyone in an abusive relationship, this book offers both insight and encouragement to find the strength to leave. The title could not be more fitting.
The two eventually married, celebrating with a beautiful wedding and honeymoon in California. Yet, small doubts crept in when Charles’s words or actions didn’t sit right with Diane. As they struggled with infertility, Diane was fine with taking all the responsibilities. Over time, she found her confidence waning. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer, the cracks in their marriage widened, and she began to see Charles’s lack of support and the troubling red flags in their relationship.
This memoir takes readers on Diane’s journey of pain, strength, and resilience. Will she find a way to move toward a better life? I admire the author’s courage in sharing such a personal story. For anyone in an abusive relationship, this book offers both insight and encouragement to find the strength to leave. The title could not be more fitting.
September 13, 2025
It’s easy to see why Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz won the 2017 Readers’ Favorite Award. This memoir begins with hope — Diane, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charismatic psychiatrist, and together they navigate infertility and adoption to build a family. What feels like a love story quickly unravels into something far more disturbing. Charles’s charm fades, replaced by criticism, control, and eventually, devastating emotional abuse. When Diane is diagnosed with breast cancer, his cruelty escalates to a shocking degree, exposing his narcissism.
What makes this book unforgettable is Diane’s courage in telling her story with both raw honesty and emotional depth. It’s heartbreaking, empowering, and ultimately a testament to resilience. A must-read for those drawn to memoirs of survival and personal transformation.
What makes this book unforgettable is Diane’s courage in telling her story with both raw honesty and emotional depth. It’s heartbreaking, empowering, and ultimately a testament to resilience. A must-read for those drawn to memoirs of survival and personal transformation.
January 9, 2025
This powerful and deeply moving memoir follows the author's emotional journey in her marriage to an emotionally abusive and narcissistic man.
I felt a range of emotions whilst reading this; parts of it were nothing short of heartbreaking, and had me close to tears, while parts of it made me angry. At the same time, I also found it deeply inspiring, as I admired the author's strength and resilience. In addition to the open and honest account of her marriage, the book also follows her emotional journey as a cancer survivor. There were parts of this book that made me smile too; in particular, some of the heartwarming anecdotes involving her children.
I think it's always an eye-opener to read a story like this, and though it wasn't the easiest read emotionally, it was definitely worth it. I'm thankful that the author took the time to share her story with readers.
I felt a range of emotions whilst reading this; parts of it were nothing short of heartbreaking, and had me close to tears, while parts of it made me angry. At the same time, I also found it deeply inspiring, as I admired the author's strength and resilience. In addition to the open and honest account of her marriage, the book also follows her emotional journey as a cancer survivor. There were parts of this book that made me smile too; in particular, some of the heartwarming anecdotes involving her children.
I think it's always an eye-opener to read a story like this, and though it wasn't the easiest read emotionally, it was definitely worth it. I'm thankful that the author took the time to share her story with readers.
September 9, 2025
Wow! Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz is totally awesome! It’s like the author crawled inside my head and wrote about the hidden struggles of love, betrayal, and survival, but with a thrilling twist. From the very first page, I was pulled into Diane’s world, where her vulnerability and strength are laid bare. By the end, I felt both heavy-hearted and deeply inspired. This memoir broke me at times, yet it also reminded me how powerful resilience and self-discovery can be. Pomerantz doesn’t hold back in showing the raw truth of her journey, and that honesty made her story unforgettable. If you’re looking for a book that will move you, challenge you, and stay with you, this is it.
September 9, 2025
Hey, book lovers! I’ve got to tell you about this awesome read I just finished – Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz. It’s like nothing I’ve ever read before! Diane’s raw honesty in recounting both her marriage and her illness made me feel as if I were sitting across from a close friend, finally hearing the truth she had been carrying for so long. Her vulnerability shines through every page, pulling me deeper into her experience and leaving me both heartbroken and inspired. What struck me most is how courageously she transforms pain into resilience. This is not just a memoir—it’s an intimate journey that makes you reflect on your own strength. A truly unforgettable and courageous story.
September 9, 2025
Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz is a hidden gem you need to discover. This book transforms the traditional memoir into an intimate story that feels candid, powerful, and unforgettable. What resonated with me most was Diane’s struggle with emotional abuse. It was painful to read, not because of her writing—her prose is clear and compelling—but because it held up a mirror to how easily someone, even insightful and accomplished, can lose themselves in a toxic relationship. Diane’s openness strips away the silence that often surrounds this kind of pain, and in doing so, she gives strength to those who may still feel trapped. This isn’t just a story of survival—it’s a reminder of reclaiming identity and dignity.
September 9, 2025
If you’re looking for a book that will inspire you to understand both the strength of the spirit and the complexity of relationships, Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz is the one. What really stood out to me was how Diane’s background as a psychologist added so much depth to her memoir. She didn’t just tell her story—she gave insight into why certain patterns happen and how they affect someone emotionally. At the same time, she never lost the personal side of things. Her reflections as a wife and mother made the story feel intimate and real, not clinical at all. The balance between her professional perspective and her lived experience made this book both eye-opening and deeply moving.
September 9, 2025
My daily commute on the train can be a real drag, but Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz completely transformed my experience! I needed something to pull me away from the endless cycle of delays and crowded carriages, and this book delivered in a big way. I became so engrossed in Diane’s journey that I almost forgot where I was. At times, I wanted to shout, “Leave him already!” because the red flags were so obvious. But mostly, I felt deep compassion. Love and hope can make anyone believe things will change, and Diane captured that struggle with heartbreaking honesty. Her story kept me turning pages, balancing frustration and empathy, and left me admiring her resilience even more.
September 9, 2025
I just finished reading Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz, and I have to say, it was an incredible experience! Diane’s story is so vivid and unfiltered that it felt like I was right there with her. The part that left the deepest impression on me was how her cancer diagnosis and treatment were layered on top of the pain in her marriage. It was heartbreaking to see her fighting for her health while also being emotionally torn down by someone who should have supported her. That contrast made her strength and determination shine even brighter. Instead of breaking her, those hardships revealed just how much courage she carried within. This memoir left me with deep respect for Diane and her survival.
September 11, 2025
When I first picked up Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz, the title struck me as simply poetic. But as the story unfolded, it took on a haunting weight that I didn’t expect. The “reflecting pool” became a powerful symbol of Diane’s marriage—at first serene and unified, but slowly revealing how she was losing herself in her husband’s reflection. That imagery stayed with me, making her journey feel even more intense and heartbreaking.
What really pulled me in was how skillfully Pomerantz wove this metaphor into her lived experience of emotional abuse and eventual self-discovery. It’s not just a memoir—it’s a mirror for anyone who has ever felt consumed in a toxic relationship, and it left me deeply moved.
What really pulled me in was how skillfully Pomerantz wove this metaphor into her lived experience of emotional abuse and eventual self-discovery. It’s not just a memoir—it’s a mirror for anyone who has ever felt consumed in a toxic relationship, and it left me deeply moved.
September 11, 2025
Being stuck here in the farm gives you a lot of time to think. And reading Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz has really been something special during this time. The book opens with a prologue that instantly pulled me into the unsettling tension of Diane’s life. The story of Mr. Buttons, the cat, wasn’t just heartbreaking—it set a chilling tone that foreshadowed the cruelty she would endure in her marriage. From that moment, it was clear this wasn’t going to be an ordinary memoir.
What followed was a raw and gripping journey through emotional abuse, resilience, and survival. Diane’s openness makes her story feel both intimate and unflinching. This book leaves you shaken, but also deeply inspired.
What followed was a raw and gripping journey through emotional abuse, resilience, and survival. Diane’s openness makes her story feel both intimate and unflinching. This book leaves you shaken, but also deeply inspired.
September 11, 2025
I just finished reading Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz, and I have to say, it was an incredible experience! Diane’s story is so vivid and real. What stood out to me most was how the settings weren’t just backdrops but reflections of her emotional journey. The farmhouse, once inviting and full of promise, gradually felt like a cage as her marriage unraveled. The courtroom scenes carried both the weight of justice and the sting of futility, reminding me how difficult it can be to seek fairness. And the therapy room—those passages felt raw, almost like watching Diane sit across from herself, peeling back layers of pain. Each setting added its own emotional depth, making the memoir unforgettable.
September 11, 2025
If you've ever felt like you don't quite fit in, Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz is a book you'll really connect with. It's a powerful story about surviving emotional abuse, facing illness, and finding the courage to reclaim your life.
What struck me most about Pomerantz’s writing was how she balanced vulnerability with strength. She doesn’t shy away from sharing her doubts, mistakes, and blind spots, and that honesty makes the story feel incredibly real. Yet, as she revisits those painful memories, she also shows remarkable strength, refusing to gloss over the truth. That duality—her openness and resilience—gives the memoir both its painful edge and its empowering heart. It’s not an easy read, but it’s one that stays with you.
What struck me most about Pomerantz’s writing was how she balanced vulnerability with strength. She doesn’t shy away from sharing her doubts, mistakes, and blind spots, and that honesty makes the story feel incredibly real. Yet, as she revisits those painful memories, she also shows remarkable strength, refusing to gloss over the truth. That duality—her openness and resilience—gives the memoir both its painful edge and its empowering heart. It’s not an easy read, but it’s one that stays with you.
September 11, 2025
If you're the kind of reader who loves books that defy easy labels, Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz might be right up your alley. On the surface, it’s a memoir about marriage, motherhood, and survival, but it reads with the intensity of a novel and the insight of a guide.
The vivid descriptive passages stood out most to me. The farmhouse, the gardens, and the surrounding nature were painted so beautifully that they felt almost alive. Yet this beauty created a haunting contrast to the emotional abuse happening behind closed doors. That tension made the story even more powerful. Far from slowing things down, the imagery amplified the stakes, showing how despair and beauty can coexist in unsettling ways.
The vivid descriptive passages stood out most to me. The farmhouse, the gardens, and the surrounding nature were painted so beautifully that they felt almost alive. Yet this beauty created a haunting contrast to the emotional abuse happening behind closed doors. That tension made the story even more powerful. Far from slowing things down, the imagery amplified the stakes, showing how despair and beauty can coexist in unsettling ways.
September 12, 2025
Lost in the Reflecting Pool by Diane C. Pomerantz isn't just a story you read and forget; it's a book that really gets you thinking. It digs into some big questions about control, resilience, and how easily love can turn into something dangerous.
At times, the memoir even read like a psychological thriller. Charles’s unpredictable moods, the gaslighting, and the tense subplot with Mara on the phone had me holding my breath. It’s unsettling to remember that these events weren’t fiction, yet that’s what made the impact so strong. The suspense kept me glued to the pages, and the realism made it all the more chilling. This blend of memoir and thriller-like tension makes the book both unforgettable and hard to put down.
At times, the memoir even read like a psychological thriller. Charles’s unpredictable moods, the gaslighting, and the tense subplot with Mara on the phone had me holding my breath. It’s unsettling to remember that these events weren’t fiction, yet that’s what made the impact so strong. The suspense kept me glued to the pages, and the realism made it all the more chilling. This blend of memoir and thriller-like tension makes the book both unforgettable and hard to put down.
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