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The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays
By interrogating the personal and emotional toll of being female, the essays in The Perils of Girlhood serve as a reckoning for women and girls.
Like many girls growing up in the eighties and nineties, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods.
A handsome swim coach’s advances, an anxious daughter soothing her father’s temper, the history of Mace, and the joy of female friendship: these are some of the memories that shape Fraterrigo’s worldview as an adult. Written with lyricism and insight, The Perils of Girlhood provides a reckoning and a reclamation. And while these personal narratives developed from Fraterrigo’s desire to guide her daughters, their universal truths compel us to consider how best to bring all of our daughters into the future.
Like many girls growing up in the eighties and nineties, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods.
A handsome swim coach’s advances, an anxious daughter soothing her father’s temper, the history of Mace, and the joy of female friendship: these are some of the memories that shape Fraterrigo’s worldview as an adult. Written with lyricism and insight, The Perils of Girlhood provides a reckoning and a reclamation. And while these personal narratives developed from Fraterrigo’s desire to guide her daughters, their universal truths compel us to consider how best to bring all of our daughters into the future.
206 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2025
13 people are currently reading
6184 people want to read
About the author
Melissa Fraterrigo
5 books63 followersMelissa Fraterrigo is the author of the forthcoming memoir in essays, The Perils of Girlhood (University of Nebraska Press, 2024) and the novel Glory Days (University of Nebraska Press) and the short story collection The Longest Pregnancy (Livingston Press). Her fiction and non-fiction have appeared in numerous literary journals and anthologies from Shenandoah and The Massachusetts Review to storySouth, Notre Dame Review, and Prairie Schooner. She has been a finalist for awards from Glimmer Train on multiple occasions, twice nominated for Pushcart Awards, and was the winner of the Sam Adams/Zoetrope: All Story Short Fiction Contest. She teaches writing at Purdue University and is founder and executive director of the Lafayette Writers Studio, in Lafayette, IN, where she also teaches classes on the art and craft of writing. To learn more visit melissafraterrigo.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
August 7, 2025
Honestly, it’s partly on me for expecting an edgier version of the Barbie movie.
I was really looking forward to this book, but the storytelling was all over the place. The timeline bounced around a lot between the author’s younger and present selves. I don’t expect a collection of essays to move in chronological order, but there should still be a natural flow to the narrative.
Many of the stories seemed to lose focus, which ultimately weakened their purpose. Too often, I questioned the relevance of certain passages and their connection to the overarching theme. These interruptions diminished the overall impact of the collection, and as a result, the memoir’s intended messaging fell flat.
Overall, this could’ve been stronger. The title itself could give any woman a plethora of things to talk about, but it felt like the author was holding back and only offered a limited scope of her experiences—understandable, since that’s a vulnerable thing to do—but it becomes clear that the writing is missing that layer of authenticity.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and University of Nebraska Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
I was really looking forward to this book, but the storytelling was all over the place. The timeline bounced around a lot between the author’s younger and present selves. I don’t expect a collection of essays to move in chronological order, but there should still be a natural flow to the narrative.
Many of the stories seemed to lose focus, which ultimately weakened their purpose. Too often, I questioned the relevance of certain passages and their connection to the overarching theme. These interruptions diminished the overall impact of the collection, and as a result, the memoir’s intended messaging fell flat.
Overall, this could’ve been stronger. The title itself could give any woman a plethora of things to talk about, but it felt like the author was holding back and only offered a limited scope of her experiences—understandable, since that’s a vulnerable thing to do—but it becomes clear that the writing is missing that layer of authenticity.
Thank you very much to NetGalley and University of Nebraska Press for the ARC of this book. This is my honest review. All opinions are my own.
October 28, 2025
By the third essay of this book I was texting my BFF telling her she had to read it, and by the fifth, I had sent her a copy. This is just the kind of book that deserves a conversation, preferably over the yellow landline that was in my parent’s kitchen. And while that phone is long gone, somehow Fratterigo has brought it back to life. In Perils she captures all the tears and trauma of an average middle-class girlhood in the 80s/90s, which on one hand seems “not that bad” and on the other hand, feels like a miracle to have survived. Sexual assault, the assault on our own bodies, eating disorders, friendship, and, for the love of god, a poster of Ricky Schroeder. It’s all here, to the point I swore by book smelled like Love’s Baby Soft.
But trust me, Perils is not just a book for girls and girl-moms, and if anything, boys and men might benefit the most from reading it. This book demonstrates how girls and women have been shaped by off-handed comments, cat calls, normalized sexual assault, as well as malevolent male behavior that is fed by a woman’s fear.
As much as this book was a balm for my teen/early-twenties self, it also dug to the core of how that trauma has been passed down—in the ways we parent as we try to avoid similar pains for our daughters, but also in the ways these past traumas have cloaked us in fears we threaten to pass to the girls we’re raising.
Fraterrigo ability to see it all—the contradictions, triumphs, trauma, and light—is stunning. I finished the book and called my BFF to see if hers had arrived yet.
But trust me, Perils is not just a book for girls and girl-moms, and if anything, boys and men might benefit the most from reading it. This book demonstrates how girls and women have been shaped by off-handed comments, cat calls, normalized sexual assault, as well as malevolent male behavior that is fed by a woman’s fear.
As much as this book was a balm for my teen/early-twenties self, it also dug to the core of how that trauma has been passed down—in the ways we parent as we try to avoid similar pains for our daughters, but also in the ways these past traumas have cloaked us in fears we threaten to pass to the girls we’re raising.
Fraterrigo ability to see it all—the contradictions, triumphs, trauma, and light—is stunning. I finished the book and called my BFF to see if hers had arrived yet.
October 12, 2025
It struck me again and again, as I read The Perils Of Girlhood, how each of the experiences she describes are both traumatic and mundane – each is damaging, and yet each happens every day to the women and girls we know.
My full review of The Perils Of Girlhood is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
My full review of The Perils Of Girlhood is up now on Keeping Up With The Penguins.
May 13, 2025
Book Review: The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays
by Melissa Fraterrigo
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Overview
Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays is a searing, introspective collection that dissects the complexities of female coming-of-age in contemporary America. Through a series of interconnected essays, Fraterrigo navigates the treacherous terrain of girlhood—its vulnerabilities, violences, and quiet rebellions—with unflinching honesty and lyrical precision. The book functions as both personal narrative and cultural critique, exposing how societal expectations, gender norms, and systemic inequities shape the female experience from adolescence to adulthood. Fraterrigo’s voice is at once intimate and analytical, blending memoir with social commentary to create a work that is as intellectually rigorous as it is emotionally resonant.
Themes and Content
Fraterrigo explores:
-Bodily Autonomy and Violence: Examines the pervasive threats to girls’ physical and emotional safety, from street harassment to institutional neglect.
-Identity Formation: Traces the author’s evolving self-conception amid conflicting messages about femininity, ambition, and worth.
-Memory and Trauma: Investigates how girlhood experiences linger, distort, and resurface in adulthood, shaping relationships and self-perception.
-Resilience and Resistance: Highlights moments of defiance and self-preservation, offering a counter-narrative to victimhood.
The collection’s power lies in its refusal to sanitize or simplify; Fraterrigo embraces contradiction, portraying girlhood as both a site of profound harm and unexpected agency.
Writing Style and Structure
Fraterrigo’s prose is taut and evocative, balancing visceral detail with reflective depth. The essays vary in form—some are narrative-driven, others more fragmentary or experimental—mirroring the disjointed, nonlinear nature of memory itself. This structural flexibility allows Fraterrigo to explore her themes from multiple angles, though a few transitions between essays feel abrupt, leaving certain threads underdeveloped. Her background in fiction shines through in her keen eye for scene-setting and dialogue, which ground even the most abstract reflections in tangible reality.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Emotional Precision: Fraterrigo articulates nuanced, often unspoken experiences of girlhood with remarkable clarity.
-Cultural Relevance: Timely and timeless, the book speaks to ongoing conversations about gender, power, and trauma.
-Stylish Experimentation: The varied essay forms keep the collection dynamic and engaging.
Weaknesses:
-Uneven Pacing: A few essays feel truncated, their ideas deserving more space to breathe.
-Limited Intersectionality: While deeply personal, the memoir occasionally lacks explicit engagement with how race, class, or sexuality intersect with the author’s experiences.
Section
Scoring Breakdown (0–5)
-Originality: 4.5/5 – A fresh, inventive approach to memoir and feminist critique.
-Emotional Impact: 4.5/5 – Potent and lingering, with moments of profound recognition.
-Thematic Depth: 4/5 – Rich exploration, though some societal dimensions could be further developed.
-Narrative Cohesion: 3.5/5 – The essay structure sacrifices some continuity for thematic range.
-Accessibility: 4/5 – Both personal and analytical, appealing to a broad audience.
Final Verdict
The Perils of Girlhood is a vital addition to contemporary feminist literature, offering a raw, eloquent testament to the trials and tenacity of growing up female. Fraterrigo’s ability to weave the personal with the political ensures that her memoir resonates far beyond her individual story. While the collection’s fragmented structure may not satisfy readers seeking a traditional narrative arc, its intellectual and emotional rewards are undeniable.
★★★★☆ (4/5) – A piercing, necessary exploration of the dangers and delights of girlhood.
Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Melissa Fraterrigo, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
by Melissa Fraterrigo
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Overview
Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays is a searing, introspective collection that dissects the complexities of female coming-of-age in contemporary America. Through a series of interconnected essays, Fraterrigo navigates the treacherous terrain of girlhood—its vulnerabilities, violences, and quiet rebellions—with unflinching honesty and lyrical precision. The book functions as both personal narrative and cultural critique, exposing how societal expectations, gender norms, and systemic inequities shape the female experience from adolescence to adulthood. Fraterrigo’s voice is at once intimate and analytical, blending memoir with social commentary to create a work that is as intellectually rigorous as it is emotionally resonant.
Themes and Content
Fraterrigo explores:
-Bodily Autonomy and Violence: Examines the pervasive threats to girls’ physical and emotional safety, from street harassment to institutional neglect.
-Identity Formation: Traces the author’s evolving self-conception amid conflicting messages about femininity, ambition, and worth.
-Memory and Trauma: Investigates how girlhood experiences linger, distort, and resurface in adulthood, shaping relationships and self-perception.
-Resilience and Resistance: Highlights moments of defiance and self-preservation, offering a counter-narrative to victimhood.
The collection’s power lies in its refusal to sanitize or simplify; Fraterrigo embraces contradiction, portraying girlhood as both a site of profound harm and unexpected agency.
Writing Style and Structure
Fraterrigo’s prose is taut and evocative, balancing visceral detail with reflective depth. The essays vary in form—some are narrative-driven, others more fragmentary or experimental—mirroring the disjointed, nonlinear nature of memory itself. This structural flexibility allows Fraterrigo to explore her themes from multiple angles, though a few transitions between essays feel abrupt, leaving certain threads underdeveloped. Her background in fiction shines through in her keen eye for scene-setting and dialogue, which ground even the most abstract reflections in tangible reality.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Emotional Precision: Fraterrigo articulates nuanced, often unspoken experiences of girlhood with remarkable clarity.
-Cultural Relevance: Timely and timeless, the book speaks to ongoing conversations about gender, power, and trauma.
-Stylish Experimentation: The varied essay forms keep the collection dynamic and engaging.
Weaknesses:
-Uneven Pacing: A few essays feel truncated, their ideas deserving more space to breathe.
-Limited Intersectionality: While deeply personal, the memoir occasionally lacks explicit engagement with how race, class, or sexuality intersect with the author’s experiences.
Section
Scoring Breakdown (0–5)
-Originality: 4.5/5 – A fresh, inventive approach to memoir and feminist critique.
-Emotional Impact: 4.5/5 – Potent and lingering, with moments of profound recognition.
-Thematic Depth: 4/5 – Rich exploration, though some societal dimensions could be further developed.
-Narrative Cohesion: 3.5/5 – The essay structure sacrifices some continuity for thematic range.
-Accessibility: 4/5 – Both personal and analytical, appealing to a broad audience.
Final Verdict
The Perils of Girlhood is a vital addition to contemporary feminist literature, offering a raw, eloquent testament to the trials and tenacity of growing up female. Fraterrigo’s ability to weave the personal with the political ensures that her memoir resonates far beyond her individual story. While the collection’s fragmented structure may not satisfy readers seeking a traditional narrative arc, its intellectual and emotional rewards are undeniable.
★★★★☆ (4/5) – A piercing, necessary exploration of the dangers and delights of girlhood.
Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Melissa Fraterrigo, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
September 27, 2025
4 stars for writing style and structure. I enjoyed the call back to other essays and seeing moments pop up in different contexts. The stories are very touching and made me emotional. I resonated with the ideas of being good and fearful. I would love to revisit this collection again in the future.
October 2, 2025
I absolutely inhaled this book. Content-wise, The Perils of Girlhood touches on body image, unwanted sexual attention, friendship, illness, motherhood, but even more than content, I found the structure of these essays so compelling, moving from more straightforward narratives to braided essays to playing with the first-person plural, for example. The book is funny and compelling, I recommend it highly.
December 29, 2025
Great collection of essays about growing up and being female in a world that just isn't quite designed for you. Loved Fraterrigo's voice, which was honest and compelling throughout every essay. Wonderful book.
October 13, 2025
The Perils of Girlhood is a collection of linked essays that play off similar themes that girls and women face almost daily--the trauma of unwanted male attention, body dysphoria, and changing norms for women in today's world. They will make women pause and reflect on their own growth through girlhood to adulthood and it could be especially relevant to mothers of daughters. As a mother of two grown sons, its impact is perhaps less although I could relate many similar events of groping, body shaming and "mean girls" in high school. Things haven't changed that much, sadly.
Like many girls growing up in the 80s and 90s, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods.
Fraterrigo's writing is achingly beautiful as she explores her youthful encounter with a 'handsy' swim coach, how she learned to manage her father's temper, her over-the-top dieting, or the growth and change of female friendships. And as her daughters begin moving through girlhood into adolescence, she examines her own opportunity to guide and teach them.
I thoroughly enjoyed this absorbing, highly relatable and wonderful read.
Thank you so much to Mindbuck Media and the University of Nebraska for my advanced copy!
Like many girls growing up in the 80s and 90s, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods.
Fraterrigo's writing is achingly beautiful as she explores her youthful encounter with a 'handsy' swim coach, how she learned to manage her father's temper, her over-the-top dieting, or the growth and change of female friendships. And as her daughters begin moving through girlhood into adolescence, she examines her own opportunity to guide and teach them.
I thoroughly enjoyed this absorbing, highly relatable and wonderful read.
Thank you so much to Mindbuck Media and the University of Nebraska for my advanced copy!
August 1, 2025
I just finished reading this amazing memoir in essays by Melissa Fraterrigo. I gulped it down and now want to go back and reread with more attention to craft. As I was swallowing paragraphs and pages whole, I was concentrating on the message. Dinty Moore, in a blurb for the book, pegged it well: "an essential meditation on how we raise our daughters." As the mother of two girls myself, I focused on my reactions to Melissa's experiences, wondering how I would have coped or dealt with various situations and then reliving my own experiences, discovering commonalities as well as differences. Melissa Fraterrigo provides food for thought on so many dimensions. In short, I loved this book! And I’m going back for seconds, to savor as well what I’ve learned from her about writing itself. Brava, Melissa!
July 19, 2025
The Perils of Girlhood contains of collection of beautiful linked essays that reverberate off of each other. These gorgeous pieces about girlhood, adulthood, daughterhood, and motherhood add up to an insightful whole. They made me think not just about the emotional and physical dangers that seem to lurk around every corner in the average woman’s life, but the strengths we collectively harness to endure them. Fraterrigo has a steady hand, a keen eye, and way of leaning into her topics with a level of relatable details that I think will resonate with many.
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October 30, 2025Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood is a deeply reflective and emotionally resonant collection that explores what it means to come of age as a girl in a society shaped by constant scrutiny, expectations, and fear. Through a series of interconnected essays, Fraterrigo blends personal memory with cultural observation, revealing how the experiences of girlhood linger and evolve into adulthood. Her writing feels both intimate and universal, inviting readers to confront the unspoken lessons young women internalize long before that can name them.
What makes this collection especially powerful is Fraterrigo’s ability to capture the contradictions of girlhood- the coexistence of innocence and awareness, fragility, and strength. In essays such as “My body, my Shame” and “More like dad,” she examines the body as both a battleground and a shite of discovery. Fraterrigo’s language is spare but luminous, and her reflections often cut to emotional truth with poetic precision.
The thematic organization of the essays, rather than strict chronology, mirrors the fragmented yet cyclical nature of memory. Fraterrigo refuses easy resolutions; instead, she acknowledges that the “perils” of girlhood- shame, fear, and self-surveillance- persist into womanhood but can also become sources of empathy and resilience.
Ultimately, The Perils of Girlhood is more than a memoir; It is a meditation on identity, vulnerability, and survival. Fraterrigo transforms private experiences into collective testimony, reminding readers that girlhood is not simply a phase to outgrow but a lasting part of the self that shapes how we move through the world.
What makes this collection especially powerful is Fraterrigo’s ability to capture the contradictions of girlhood- the coexistence of innocence and awareness, fragility, and strength. In essays such as “My body, my Shame” and “More like dad,” she examines the body as both a battleground and a shite of discovery. Fraterrigo’s language is spare but luminous, and her reflections often cut to emotional truth with poetic precision.
The thematic organization of the essays, rather than strict chronology, mirrors the fragmented yet cyclical nature of memory. Fraterrigo refuses easy resolutions; instead, she acknowledges that the “perils” of girlhood- shame, fear, and self-surveillance- persist into womanhood but can also become sources of empathy and resilience.
Ultimately, The Perils of Girlhood is more than a memoir; It is a meditation on identity, vulnerability, and survival. Fraterrigo transforms private experiences into collective testimony, reminding readers that girlhood is not simply a phase to outgrow but a lasting part of the self that shapes how we move through the world.
December 31, 2025
Oh how I wish I’d had Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood when I was a teen.
Though I came of age earlier than this book’s 1980s and 1990s setting, the timeless heart of these stories resonates. I too lived through confusing moments with grabby adult males and dates that went sideways; I remember the terrifying void of not knowing how to become the person I wanted to be and longing for family conversations no one knew how to have.
Peril is a word that may sound old-fashioned, or reserved for daredevil mountain climbers or extreme athletes. But anyone who has ever grown up female knows the worst kinds of dangers are the ones you can’t imagine or prepare for — or even know how to discuss. Juxtaposing this tense synonym for danger with the milk-and-cookies word Girlhood adds a wary edge to these essays, setting up their surprises and electric charges.
Especially powerful is Fraterrigo’s double lens on girlhood as she revisits pivotal moments from her past as both the girl she was then and the mother of teen girls she is now. She pares away the inessential so her bone-sharp images land, whether it’s a torn dress that comes to hold more than its elegant surface or the quicksilver jolt that floods a familiar pool when a 14-year-old swimmer’s trust in the hunky college guy who coached her all summer is betrayed.
Marvelous and unforgettable.
September 23, 2025
How do the stories of our childhoods look now through the lens of life and adulthood?
What stories did we tell ourselves then that mean something completely different now?
"Like many girls growing up in the eighties and nineties, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods."
Fraterrigo put together a collection of beautiful stories that most women reading them will connect to in some way. The content takes the reader, as an adult, through scenarios that now show the problems or inherent issues with how she lived/believed/was treated at that time.
The stories are well-written and insightful, and will no doubt force every reader to start looking at their own lives through an updated lens.
What stories did we tell ourselves then that mean something completely different now?
"Like many girls growing up in the eighties and nineties, Melissa Fraterrigo leaned on popular culture to transition from childhood to adolescence and beyond. Judy Blume told stories about girls embracing their imperfections; Madonna encouraged bold moves. But Fraterrigo’s experiences with dating and attempts to refashion her body through diet and exercise left her feeling far from empowered. It wasn’t until Fraterrigo became a mother to twin daughters and they began their own self-criticisms that she questioned how she might help them navigate their own girlhoods."
Fraterrigo put together a collection of beautiful stories that most women reading them will connect to in some way. The content takes the reader, as an adult, through scenarios that now show the problems or inherent issues with how she lived/believed/was treated at that time.
The stories are well-written and insightful, and will no doubt force every reader to start looking at their own lives through an updated lens.
October 28, 2025
Reading this memoir I was constantly replaying the first time I read Judy Bloom’s “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” as a preteen. It felt like a revelation; everything that health class couldn’t teach me about my growing self. “The Perils of Girlhood” felt like a more adult, non fiction version. Like the paper mother figure I may need when I myself reach motherhood.
Fraterrigo’s essays brought me back to my insecurities and desires as a teenager, while expanding my knowledge of what I might have to look forward to in the future: the insecurities of being an effective mom.
Occasionally, but not enough to effect the success of the memoir, the repetition of specific memories (such as the first time Eva had a seizure) drew attention to the fact that each essay stands out and alone from the story as a whole.
I would definitely consider giving this memoir to my adult children to read the same way my mother gave me Judy Bloom’s story when I was younger. Stories of girlhood and motherhood are the stories that need to be passed down.
Fraterrigo’s essays brought me back to my insecurities and desires as a teenager, while expanding my knowledge of what I might have to look forward to in the future: the insecurities of being an effective mom.
Occasionally, but not enough to effect the success of the memoir, the repetition of specific memories (such as the first time Eva had a seizure) drew attention to the fact that each essay stands out and alone from the story as a whole.
I would definitely consider giving this memoir to my adult children to read the same way my mother gave me Judy Bloom’s story when I was younger. Stories of girlhood and motherhood are the stories that need to be passed down.
December 28, 2025
Wonderful essays, many of them excellent hybrid pieces. Each is infused with quotidian details that bring small and large traumas into sharp focus. Fraterrigo writes about coming of age with details relevant to every woman I know while simultaneously writing about marriage, motherhood, and what she wants for her girls. It’s hard to pick an excerpt because The Perils of Girlhood goes so many places, but here’s a sample:
“’Can you tell me what’s wrong? I can’t help you unless I know.’
After what seemed like days, she spoke. ‘I just don’t like myself.’
How to let her know I had sometimes felt this way at twelves and twenty-two and now, in my late forties?’
‘Just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true.’ Eva blinked and something rippled through me. It was what I wish I had been told. Eva hugged me hard and fast. It felt powerful all the same.
Maybe in order for her to understand her own feelings, she needs to see me grappling with things that even now confuse and embarrass me.”
“’Can you tell me what’s wrong? I can’t help you unless I know.’
After what seemed like days, she spoke. ‘I just don’t like myself.’
How to let her know I had sometimes felt this way at twelves and twenty-two and now, in my late forties?’
‘Just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true.’ Eva blinked and something rippled through me. It was what I wish I had been told. Eva hugged me hard and fast. It felt powerful all the same.
Maybe in order for her to understand her own feelings, she needs to see me grappling with things that even now confuse and embarrass me.”
January 6, 2026
I was excited to read this essay collection due to author Melissa Fraterrigo's reputation for superlative writing, but I felt the tiniest bit of reluctance based upon the title. I knew The Perils of Girlhood would nudge—even urge—me to look back upon a difficult time in my own life, and I wasn't sure I was ready.
Nevertheless, I tore through these poignant, elegant, and evocative essays, feeling honored to be trusted to witness the author's pain and life challenges, feeling grateful to her for sharing the beauty and battles of girlhood and for examining what we carry forward from girlhood into our adult lives.
The essays made me think deeply about the extent to which fear has shaped my own life, and about what and how I must teach the next generation. How can I be part of breaking the cycles of anger and violence that make girlhood and womanhood so fraught and dangerous in this confusing and contradictory world? TPOG made me contemplate whom I need to speak for and fight for—including myself.
A truly insightful, compelling essay collection!
Nevertheless, I tore through these poignant, elegant, and evocative essays, feeling honored to be trusted to witness the author's pain and life challenges, feeling grateful to her for sharing the beauty and battles of girlhood and for examining what we carry forward from girlhood into our adult lives.
The essays made me think deeply about the extent to which fear has shaped my own life, and about what and how I must teach the next generation. How can I be part of breaking the cycles of anger and violence that make girlhood and womanhood so fraught and dangerous in this confusing and contradictory world? TPOG made me contemplate whom I need to speak for and fight for—including myself.
A truly insightful, compelling essay collection!
October 7, 2025
This is a beautiful and searing memoir. The Perils of Girlhood is an amazing book that is a must-read for fans of The Tell and other memoirs about overcoming childhood trauma. You will be inspired by Fraterrigo’s courage and uplifted by her gorgeous writing and great storytelling. Reading this book is like having a conversation with your best friend from high school over a cup of coffee and catching up on how things REALLY WERE back then in the late 80s (the hairstyles, the music, dating, sister drama, dieting, eating disorders, the seemingly-cute-and-nice swim coach who is anything but). And if you’re a guy, you will enjoy this book too—Fraterrigo’s writing is so accessible and her stories are so compelling you won’t be able to stop reading, and you’ll be glad to spend some time with her! Don’t wait! Treat yourself to this book NOW!
November 20, 2025
13 “I imagined everything would be easier if I also possessed some unique power.”
15 “he carried himself as if he didn’t care what anyone else thought. A revolutionary idea.”
17 “men might find me attractive. Boys in my class, not so much, but strangers in cars on the highway saw something in me. I felt the burbling of this power inside me. It would take years for me to fully believe it, but for someone who had longed to be good at something, I glimpsed that perhaps I had finally found it.”
18 “everything about his body announced that he was in charge.”
23 “I relished the praise of his touch”
28 “the hunger accompanying each day proves my toughness- that I’ll win.”
41 “At that time, I believed the telling was more important than the lived experience, how seeing it unfold in another person's face, it became real.”
15 “he carried himself as if he didn’t care what anyone else thought. A revolutionary idea.”
17 “men might find me attractive. Boys in my class, not so much, but strangers in cars on the highway saw something in me. I felt the burbling of this power inside me. It would take years for me to fully believe it, but for someone who had longed to be good at something, I glimpsed that perhaps I had finally found it.”
18 “everything about his body announced that he was in charge.”
23 “I relished the praise of his touch”
28 “the hunger accompanying each day proves my toughness- that I’ll win.”
41 “At that time, I believed the telling was more important than the lived experience, how seeing it unfold in another person's face, it became real.”
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 6, 2025
This essay collection was a fantastically relatable journey. There was so much here to connect to. If you're a girl, woman, or just a human being who is going through the trials and tribulations of life, I highly recommend this book. I had the pleasure of getting to hear Melissa Fraterrigo speak to my class about this process of writing these essays, and not only was it fascinating to hear how it all came together, it provided so much insight on the writing process and how to execute a collection of essays flawlessly. My favorite part of the book was the exploration on how our relationship with our parent(s) shape who we end up becoming. This is a must-read for anyone who loves to read experiences of coming-of-age.
September 27, 2025
In The Perils of Girlhood, Fraterrigo weaves essays that are intimate yet expansive, tracing the threads between girlhood, womanhood, and motherhood. Her writing balances clear-eyed honesty about the vulnerabilities women face with a deep appreciation for the strength and solidarity that sustain us. As someone who thinks about and writes on similar topics from a nonfiction perspective, I really appreciated how these essays manage to be both artfully literary and emotionally accessible, drawing the reader in with vivid detail without losing sight of the larger themes. This is a quick, absorbing, wonderful read!
October 15, 2025
A must-read (and absolute delight!) for anyone who has been—or knows—a girl.
Powerful essays, masterfully written, perfectly capturing the push and pull of emotions and experiences associated with being a woman. The intimate, vulnerable, honest ways she wrote about them opened up the space for me to think about my own experiences, how they paralleled and diverged from hers, and how they have shaped me. I've never read anything quite like this—not only is the concept and content good, but the writing itself is absolutely scrumptious. Her precision with language gives the words a resonance I've rarely encountered. Highly, highly recommended!
Powerful essays, masterfully written, perfectly capturing the push and pull of emotions and experiences associated with being a woman. The intimate, vulnerable, honest ways she wrote about them opened up the space for me to think about my own experiences, how they paralleled and diverged from hers, and how they have shaped me. I've never read anything quite like this—not only is the concept and content good, but the writing itself is absolutely scrumptious. Her precision with language gives the words a resonance I've rarely encountered. Highly, highly recommended!
October 30, 2025
The Perils of Girlhood by Melissa Fraterrigo is a haunting, lyrical memoir in essays that lingers long after the last page. Fraterrigo writes with quiet intensity about girlhood’s fragile beauty, sun-drenched summers, whispered secrets, the ache of becoming, and how it slips away too soon. But beneath the golden nostalgia is something darker: sexual violence, loss, motherhood under strain. What I loved most is how she frames time itself as the real threat, not just what happens to girls, but that girlhood ends at all. It’s a raw, poetic meditation on growing up and letting go. A must-read for anyone who remembers what it felt like to stand on the edge of becoming… and never quite land.
December 5, 2025
The Perils of Girlhood is an ambitious collection of essays that captures what it feels like to discover the world in a female body. There are moments that nearly every woman I know has experienced in one form or another (unwanted male attention, the realization of how precarious our safety is, what it means to love a child, the thin line between wellness and disease, and so many others) and the author shares what each of these are like in a way that is so specific to herself that it feels universal.
Highly recommend for readers who are looking for words to express how the everyday moments are the ones that stick with us forever.
Highly recommend for readers who are looking for words to express how the everyday moments are the ones that stick with us forever.
December 15, 2025
I could not put this book down. I am rereading it now for attention to every detail and emotion it evokes. If you have ever wondered about your own girlhood the events, expectations, effects read this book. If you have young girls, read this book. If you are a grandmother, read this book. If you are a father, please read this book.
The big question I had when I finished: Why is this still happening? Is it still happening? I am a good 30 years older than Melissa Fraterrigo. I think of the wonderful girls I know and hope we will support them better.
All is not lost, there are many uplifting and sometimes funny moments in this book. Get a copy and read it.
The big question I had when I finished: Why is this still happening? Is it still happening? I am a good 30 years older than Melissa Fraterrigo. I think of the wonderful girls I know and hope we will support them better.
All is not lost, there are many uplifting and sometimes funny moments in this book. Get a copy and read it.
August 23, 2025
Exquisitely written, Perils of Girlhood is a journey through a female life, from the awkward confusion of the teen discovery of men's sexual desire and the aggression they employ to get it, to the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and motherhood, the social pressure of dieting, of being a mother to daughters, to the female fear of falling victim to random violence. The anecdotes ring authentically, reminding me of many incidents in my own life. These are female-centric themes relatable to any woman in modern society.
September 9, 2025
If you are a girl, were a girl, or are the mother of girls, The Perils of Girlhood is an important read. Melissa Fraterrigo is a fearless writer—bold, brave, and at times her words are heartbreaking.
Each chapter is more interesting and compelling than the one before—hence I read most of it in one day. The essays, though not chronological, are held together by the string of insecurities, fears, and sometimes mishaps that affect so many of us in one way or another.
As a writer myself, this book inspired me, moved me, and it certainly informed me.
Brava, Melissa!
Each chapter is more interesting and compelling than the one before—hence I read most of it in one day. The essays, though not chronological, are held together by the string of insecurities, fears, and sometimes mishaps that affect so many of us in one way or another.
As a writer myself, this book inspired me, moved me, and it certainly informed me.
Brava, Melissa!
September 19, 2025
A beautifully written exploration on how the authors girlhood comes out unexpectedly in her motherhood. The book is short (a little under 200 pages) but packs a punch, I found myself tearing up several times.
" Maybe in order for her to understand her own feelings, she needs to see me grappling with things that even now confuse and embarrass me." 'My Body, My Shame', 164
"Their appetites feed me, dare me to continue telling my truths." 'My Body, My Shame', 164
"I was once a girl just like them and maybe they sense it..." 'To My Teen Daughters", 167
" Maybe in order for her to understand her own feelings, she needs to see me grappling with things that even now confuse and embarrass me." 'My Body, My Shame', 164
"Their appetites feed me, dare me to continue telling my truths." 'My Body, My Shame', 164
"I was once a girl just like them and maybe they sense it..." 'To My Teen Daughters", 167
October 2, 2025
Mellissa Fraterrigo's collection of essays is a time capsule, a cautionary tale, and a love letter to Gen X women—and the girls we once were. With pop-culture and national news references, Fraterrigo perfectly captures the zeitgeist of coming of age in the '80s and '90s. I read these essays nodding along in recognition, fear, sadness, and ultimately hope for girlhood and womanhood, in all its perils. Highly recommend this powerful and beautifully written book for its honest and relatable exploration of what it's like to be female in America.
October 30, 2025
Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood dives into girlhood topics such as mental health, coming-of-age, motherhood, and parenting in the real world. Reading this book can help those who might need affirmation whether it’s internal or external. I believe there is a topic essay in this book that everyone can relate and resonate with. I think Melissa Fraterrigo wrote these perils with intention, even if it wasn’t to initially make a memoir and have everyone able to read it. It’s beautiful and worth the read!
October 30, 2025
With descriptions that feel poetic and written with raw emotions, The Perils of Girlhood is an experience not worth missing. The essays within cover multiple topics that can be difficult for some readers. But they come from real lived experiences and can provide comfort to readers showing they aren't alone. The Perils of Girlhood is like a lesson on American life for woman in the 80's, 90's and 2000's and serves as a time capsule in that regard. It provides a much needed lesson for the unique struggles of woman in our modern society.
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