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Happy Bloody Christmas #1

Happy Bloody Christmas

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Perfect for fans of Richard Osman, Fiona Gibson and Gill Sims, don’t miss the BRAND NEW festive murder mystery for winter 2024!

Agatha Christie meets Gill Sims in this Christmas murder mystery with a world-weary heroine, for whom getting rid of an unexpected dead body is just another thing to add to the bloody to do list…

And you thought burning the turkey was the worst that could happen…​

Christmas is all about lists. To do lists. Shopping lists. Lists to bloody Santa. And doesn’t Anna Johnson know it. Waking up on Christmas Eve after the annual Johnson party, she's hungover, exhausted and really sick and tired of Christmas already. All she wants is to tick the last things off her endless list and sit down with the world’s biggest glass of wine. ​

But apparently that’s not going to happen any time soon because now her list looks like ​

1. Wrap the presents

2. Peel the potatoes

3. Stuff the turkey

4. Solve the murder of Santa

A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she has time for right now, but with police officers who could double as the Chuckle Brothers and a husband and two kids intent on watching Christmas films, it looks like it’s up to her to find out what the hell’s gone on. Oh – and figure out what to do with the body before her in-laws arrive.

Happy bloody Christmas indeed.​

–––––––––-

'A brilliantly written, hilarious whodunnit. Smart and very, very funny. Don't read on public transport, you'll laugh so hard people will think you're a lunatic.' IAN MOORE

‘This book is so funny, I’m quite annoyed I didn’t write it!' GILL SIMS

'A compulsive Christmas cake binge of a read – terrific! So piercingly funny, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or wince. A murder mystery brew that beats egg-nog hands down!' J.M. HALL

I adored this festive and funny cracker full of glittering one-liners and wit. It’s the perfect Christmas present for that best friend who would definitely help you hide a body!' CHRISSIE MANBY

'Chock-full of proper jokes!' ABIGAIL BURDESS

327 pages, Paperback

First published September 26, 2024

973 people are currently reading
2570 people want to read

About the author

Jo Middleton

5 books64 followers

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5 stars
1,446 (23%)
4 stars
2,573 (41%)
3 stars
1,732 (27%)
2 stars
362 (5%)
1 star
108 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 837 reviews
Profile Image for Nancy.
616 reviews592 followers
December 6, 2025
3.5⭐️ rounded up

The morning after their annual Johnson holiday party, Christmas Eve begins with a hangover and a corpse in the larder, exactly what Anna did not need when she still has so much to do before her in-laws arrive.

If the cover didn’t already give it away, this is absolutely not a serious murder mystery. Plausibility? Zilch. What it delivers instead is a ridiculous good time that might even make you occasionally laugh out loud. If you’re looking for a quick, fun holiday read/listen, this is a great choice.

I personally don’t mind profanity, but the F-word does make quite a few appearances. Consider this a friendly heads-up for those who prefer books without it.
Profile Image for Dee (in the Desert).
664 reviews176 followers
December 22, 2025
4 stars - light on the mystery and heavy on the holiday fun with an overwhelmed Mom as the protagonist - I liked it well enough to grab the sequel right away.
Profile Image for Donne.
1,557 reviews100 followers
November 13, 2024
Ok, the cover nabbed me. Look at it. I just knew it had to be a funny and silly Christmas read. It was!!! All of the reviews in the book summary are spot on! Jo Middleton is a really entertaining writer and storyteller. The narrator, Olivia Mace, is excellent with her quick, sharp, British accent and delivers all of the snarky retorts perfectly! This is the first book of Jo Middleton that I’ve read, and I’ve noticed that she has another one in the works for Anna and her family for next Christmas. I will definitely be adding that to my Christmas reading list.

It’s Christmas Eve and Anna, a burnt-out, exhausted, working wife/mom of two is hungover from the family’s holiday party she threw for friends, co-workers and neighbors the night before and now she has to clean up the house and get preparations for Christmas dinner for her husband’s, snooty, judgmental family. Ollie is, of course, absolutely useless as well as her two kids. She then finds in her larder (what the British call a pantry) the dead body of her pervy boss, Colin, who dressed up like Santa just so he could get women to sit on his lap. Seems someone stabbed Santa in the gut with one of Anna’s very fancy and expensive knives.

Upon hearing from Anna about the dead body in her larder, BFF, Jenny (who is also really hungover), proceeds to offer to help Anna get rid of the evidence. Love Jenny!!! She reads WAY too many murder mysteries and watches too many CSI shows, but she was a great partner in helping Anna investigate the crime. They make a list of suspects, that includes Anna's brother and his boyfriend. The list even includes Sasha, the girlfriend of Anna and Ollie’s teenaged son, Ben. Even though there are a lot of people who aren’t going to cry at Colin’s funeral, one by one, suspects are being disqualified from the list once a time of death is determined (a whole other story).

Eventually, Anna enlists Ollie’s help and Ben proves to be very valuable for the tech work. Together, the gang whittle down the list and narrow in on the motive and killer. This was such a funny, and I guess, dark comedy/cozy mystery that had me cracking up at the antics and shenanigans of Anna and her gang. The character development for Anna and her family was well done. Anna’s daughter, Lily, was absolutely adorable. LOVE LILLY!!! The pacing was steady and the storyline very entertaining. The writing was hilarious and I’m looking at an overall rating of 4.5 that I am going to round up to a 5star read.
Profile Image for Cristina Neves.
170 reviews6 followers
November 23, 2025
An absolutely hilarious Christmas mystery.
You just can't stop laughing out loud throughout the whole book.
Relatable, quirky, funny characters.
Hilarious dialogues between the main ones, and the secondary ones too.

The Johnson family: Anna, her husband Oli (Oliver), their kids Ben (15) and Lily (7), not forgetting the 2 cats Tommy and Tuppence, that have their own special App.
Anna's best friend Jennie for forty years and the infamous mother-in-law Pamela.

The day after the Johnson's annual party, Christmas Eve, Anna, more than a bit hanghover, opens the larder and is met by one of the cats running away and finds out that Father Christmas, her boss Colin, is dead.
Someone stabbed him.
She talks to Jennie who decides to create a murder board in her house.
Anna first suspect is Oli, probably a serial killer, and insanity rules the way they act.
Everbody keeps thinking she's the one who killed him, even Oli and Jennie, because they know she hates him.
He was not a very nice person.

But they all agree to take the kids out of the house while she searches the body before the police arrrives, taking care not to step on the floor covered with flour.
She takes a picture of a foot, but Detective Sergeant Bacon and Constable Simons make a mess of the crime scene, take the body away, just in time to arrive at the station for the Inspector wonderful Christmas pies!

So they have to solve the murder themselves, Oli being a fan of the podcast Criminal Crossroads, and Anna thinking that Death in Paradise, CSI Miami, Poirot and especially Agatha Raisin can help them too and Jennie making searches in the internet and other stuff they ask.
The killer must be someone they know and that was at the party.
They try to establish a timeline of events and a list of suspects and their alibis.
But is so much easier on movies and in the podcast than in real life to solve a murder.
The suspects keep changing, new information keeps coming of different people arguing with Colin during the party and it seems they're not going anywhere.
And the in-laws arriving earlier doesn't help them either!

But Anna gets there, and I'm guessing other readers will too, with the small clues they're given, in between laughing like their lives depending on it.

We can see that Jo Middleton also had a lot of fun herself writing this hilarious story!
Profile Image for WhatMichaelaReads .
243 reviews1,327 followers
December 15, 2024
4.5 🌟

I did this on audio and it was GREAT. I found myself laughing out loud so many times. Yes the story is entirely unrealistic but I just had such a fun time.
Profile Image for simona.citeste.
480 reviews306 followers
January 7, 2025
Deși investigăm o crimă, cartea a fost mai mult amuzantă.
N-am putut să iau în serios personajele; avem o crimă ce a avut loc într-o cămară iar proprietara casei face pe detectiva alături de familie și o prietenă.

La nebunia asta se adaugă și soacrei nesuferite pentru că totul are loc în ajun de Crăciun.
Profile Image for aino ꫂ᭪ ✮.
314 reviews61 followers
December 6, 2025
⋆˚࿔ ★★☆☆☆ [2.5 stars]
this book made me appreciate that my christmas is normal and chill 😇😇

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

ᯓpre-read :
i need a fun and mindless holiday read & this one was recommended by some booktokers i follow !!
Profile Image for Kelly (Little.shropshire.reader).
239 reviews27 followers
September 7, 2024
I have read so many books that I laugh aloud or sniggered to myself. Never have I read a book that has appealed to my sense of humour like this book did. Happy Bloody Christmas has had me in fits of laughter, I mean tears streaming down my face, jaw achingly laughter. What I must have looked like sat in my car on the school run, tears running and wildly laughing to myself. The woman in the car next to me must have thought I was having some midlife crisis or breakdown!
As a woman in her mid-40s, this book was so relatable that it was like reading parts of my own life - minus the murder mystery bits, of course! I loved the plot, the pace of it, how I felt like I was a part of the team trying to solve the mystery. All the characters were fab, especially the best friend duo of Anna and Jennie. I haven't got a single thing I didn't like apart from it had to end. Bloody brilliant!!
I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a great festive murder mystery. I think it would appeal to anyone who's in their fabulous 40s. I found it hilariously good fun.

All Anna wants is the perfect Christmas day. After waking up christmas eve hungover and finding a dead body in her larder, things aren't looking good. With her in-laws' arrival for Christmas dinner the next day, what is she to do?

Thank you to Avon Books UK for my advanced copy.
My opinions are my own
Profile Image for Nei_dienos_be_knygos.
317 reviews57 followers
December 18, 2025
#perskaičiau
Jo Middleton "Laimingų sumautų Kalėdų"

Viena tų knygų, kurios turi surasti savo skaitytoją ✨

Komedija - pirmas į galvą atėjęs apibūdinimas šiai knygai. Nemeluosiu, knygos pradžioje pagalvojau, kad nežinau ar ją pabaigsiu, tačiau skaitydama pastebėjau save atsipalaiduojant ir nuolat šyptelint, nes pagrindinės knygos veikėjos gyvenimas ne taip labai ir skiriasi nuo mūsų kasdienių rūpesčių ir skubos. Tad visai nesunkiai sutirpo ir likę knygos puslapiai 🤭
Šios knygos nei reikia, nei galima analizuoti, tai išties išgalvota kuriozinė istorija, kuri su jumoro ir sarkazmo prieskoniais leidžia pasijuokti ir praskaidrinti mintis lengvu, visiškai neįpareigojančiu tekstu, įsisiūbavusio šventinio maratono metu. Vietomis per saldi, kartais perspausta, bet šiaip linksma ir nuotaikinga 🤭

Tad šį kartą lengvos 3.25⭐/5.0
Profile Image for Fiona.
985 reviews530 followers
September 11, 2024
A really enjoyable black comedy murder mystery. Anna discovers her boss’s body in her larder the morning after a Christmas party. The police are more interested in their Christmas Eve party at the station than in the murder and so Anna, her husband, Oli, and her friend, Jennie, set out to solve it themselves. Anna is simultaneously trying to prepare for her in-laws arriving, i.e. her nightmare mother-in-law who makes Hyacinth Bucket sound reasonable! I can easily see this as one of those wonderful English black comedy films with a star cast. There were many laugh out loud moments and it’s a reasonable murder mystery too, although I’d worked out who the murderer was fairly early on. I’d happily buy this as a stocking filler this Christmas.

With thanks to Avon Books UK and NetGalley for a review copy.
Profile Image for Ken.
2,567 reviews1,378 followers
March 9, 2025
This was such a fun engaging read with a quirky edge.
The idea of a dead Santa (her boss in costume) found dead in the larder the day after a party instantly had me hooked.

The first person narration by Anna, the hostess and whos house the body has appeared in quips gives a humours proceedings to this cosy fun mystery.

Some of the language is of an adult nature, but adds to the playful silliness whilst the reveal was perfectly executed.
Humour and suspense, the perfect Christmas read!
Profile Image for Knygu_burtai.
225 reviews33 followers
January 13, 2026
Smagi, šmaikšti, neįpareigojanti šventiška knyga. Patiko.
Profile Image for Ruta_skaito.
191 reviews109 followers
December 26, 2025
Viršelis viską išduoda- jūsų laukia linksmas, šiek tiek kvailas, bet labai įdomus kalėdinis žmogžudystės tyrimas.

Šios knygos negalima lyginti su jokiais kitais detektyvais. Istorija pilna sarkazmo bei absurdo. Kai atrodo, kad jau veikėjams nebegali būti blogiau, nutinka kažkas visiškai netikėto.

Puikus skaitinys šventiniam laikotarpiui, kai norėsis juoko, trupučio paslapčių ar tiesiog lengvos, greitai plaukiančios istorijos.
Profile Image for ypezza .
80 reviews22 followers
December 22, 2024
Sorry Jo but this was the worst book I’ve ever read. Merry Christmas x
Profile Image for Mark.
1,693 reviews
October 23, 2025
Sapphire looked perturbed, Matt came through from his office, both surprised at the constant laughing they could hear me doing, I had just started the book and honestly I laughed the whole way through it

A special book then indeed to make a reader do that, it was genuinely LOL funny and not just occasionally but constantly

Of course there was a murder to be looked into but Anna, Oli and family and friends manage to do it whilst keeping it humorous, and all set on Christmas Eve leading into the big day itself

The authors take on every day life is a pleasure to behold and the mix of murder, mayhem and merriment so good I am starting book 2 immediately

Special mention to Pamela, the dreaded Mum in Law who played her part to perfection

Irrestibly good
Profile Image for Zara Harper.
719 reviews5 followers
October 24, 2024
Well this was simply bloody brilliant! I literally giggled the whole way through! So much of it reminded me of conversations I have with my mum about our husbands (the constant having to think of what’s for tea etc) that it felt very close to home! Obviously finding a dead Santa hasn’t happened to either of us (I’ll say yet because you can never say never!) but what a fun read. Anna and Jennie made me think of me and my bestie, Mel, and what either of us would say if the other rang us up with the news (pretty much what Jennie said)! Honestly, this was so much fun and silly at the same time, perfect Christmas book without it being a typical sickly sweet Christmas read!
Profile Image for Mandy Cleworth.
175 reviews
December 18, 2024
I really wasn’t blown away with this from the word go, but I couldn’t bring myself to DNF 2 books on the trot!
So I have to admit I skimmed through a-lot of this…..
I mean what police force wouldn’t have sealed the crime scene and immediately taken them all in for questioning?
Once you got past that the writing had its moments. 2 stars at best!
Profile Image for AmBerGUR.
400 reviews20 followers
December 11, 2024
It’s really funny. I love the British humour. Very very entertaining.
Profile Image for Maria.
515 reviews92 followers
December 30, 2024
The first chapter was a little weak but after that initial hitch the book was hysterical.
Interesting characters, rich and hilarious plot and sub-plots that will delight anyone during Christmas.

I did not know this writer but what a way to discover a new author (in my case) because of the holidays. There is something about Christmas that really inspires murder (apart from your in-laws) there is the snow that can be treacherous, so many desserts like Christmas Pudding that can be poisonous, the secrets and lies that resurface during this jolly occasion to name only a few…oh joy! Although the snow is a major part of the plot, the in laws are fatefully coming, there is no poison only knives. Here, in this book after the murder is committed the funniest investigation starts.

Before starting to read this book, I mean minutes before, I learned that the author has been a blogger since 2009 of Slummy Single Mummy. I do not have children, I stay away from blogs unless they are political or dog oriented and still that occupies less than one percent of my time in a year. On top of that it was on sale after I bought it in November and I became hopeless, I thought nobody liked it, nevertheless I began reading and was impressed by her comedic ability as well as her writing skills. What a fantastic turn of events!

I cannot wait to purchase her next holiday adventure!
Profile Image for Catherine Fox.
45 reviews
December 19, 2024
Hilarious, the characters were great, quick easy read, had me laughing on the commute
Profile Image for Maria.
167 reviews
December 19, 2025
Despite suspending all belief and trying to remember it’s a bit of Christmas fun, I had to add this to the DNF list. I guess it’s a farce but it just didn’t work for me. Who killed Colin? Who cares!
Profile Image for Brian Wilde.
87 reviews
September 11, 2024
Anna wakes up Christmas Eve morning heavily hungover from the house-party she hosted the night before. She gingerly makes it down stairs, steps into her posh new walk-in larder and see's Santa, dead. What's worse is he has one of her favourite, expensive knifes sticking out of his belly.

The police arrive on the scene akin to the Keystone Cops! bumbling their way into the larder, trampling over the evidence, knocking pasta all over the dead body. The interactions with Detective Bacon and Simons are hilarious.

It's clear to Anna that these two bumbling officers of the law are never going to be able to figure their way out of a paper bag, let alone solve a murder. So, with the help of her husband, Oli, her son Ben and best friend Jennie, she begins to investigate, all whilst trying to prepare the house for the Christmas day visit with her in-laws.

Anna and Oli, put together a timeline of events from the previous nights drunken frivolity. A list of suspects for them to investigate with Means, motives and opportunities.

This book is laugh out loud funny. I found myself reading aloud excerpts to my wife, who would look at me with dismay.

The plot is well thought out and Anna's investigation takes a logical approach, following tried and tested methods from other works of fiction. When evidence is uncovered, her notes are updated and we receive a refresh of the timeline and list of suspects.

All of this is wrapped up with very funny situations and conversations which reminded me of the old British TV sitcom, 2 point 4 Children. I believe the family in that series would behave much the same as the Johnsons here.

All of the clues are there for you to be able to solve this, as any classic whodunnit should. And this is a classic whodunnit.

I would like to convey my thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to read this novel. All opinions are my own

Professional Reader
Profile Image for Preeti.
816 reviews2 followers
December 25, 2025
There are amateurs and then there real amateurs. This is the real one and I really hate the trope. Though I enjoyed the humor so gonna read tge next book.
Profile Image for Beckie.
208 reviews1 follower
December 12, 2024
3.5☆

Some of this book was so funny I actually half choked in the office when reading at lunchtime 😅 I wanted more but I can't deny it was quite the quick and enjoyable read while away from home for work.
Profile Image for Eglė Janušauskaitė.
25 reviews4 followers
December 20, 2025
Labai lengva, smagi ir kalėdinė knyga. Puikiai tiktų ir kaip kalėdinė dovana ir šiaip paskaityt tarpušvenčiu. Faini personažai, detektyvinė linija silpnoka – bet daug ir nesitikėjau, nes tai labiau komiškas romanas nei koks rimtas detektyvas.

Rekomenduoju paskaityt šiuo laikotarpiu jei norisi kažko lengvo🎄Mačiau yra antra dalis, gal pasitaupysiu ją kitoms Kalėdoms🥰
Profile Image for Ugnė | pilna_lentyna.
373 reviews173 followers
January 3, 2026
Kūčių rytą Ana atsibunda po triukšmingo vakarėlio ir ruošiasi sutikti priekabius uošvius. Tačiau vietoj ramios šventinės rutinos jos sandėliuke randamas... negyvas Kalėdų Senelis. Kas jis? Kaip čia atsidūrė? Ir kuris iš vakarėlio svečių kaltas?

Anos šeima, tenka dirbti detektyvais - kai bylos tirti atvyksta niekam tikę pareigūnai, jie iš karto supranta, kad teks viską išsiaškinti patiems. Taip prasideda linkmas ir aišku, neprofesionalus bandymas išsiaiškinti, kas kaltas dėl Kalėdų senelio mirties. Nors knygos humoras ne visai atitiko mano suvokimą, kas juokinga, o kas ne, akių vartyti neteko.

Tai paprastas, greitas kalėdinis detektyvas, tinkantis tarpušvenčiui, kai atsibosta kalėdiniai filmai ir norisi kažko lengvo. Manau, kad ypač patiks tiems, kurie tikrų detektyvų bijo ar nemėgsta - "Laimingų sumautų Kalėdų" bus puiki proga pasimatuoti Puaro vaidmenį be kraujo upių ir tokioms knygoms įprastų žiaurumų.
99 reviews1 follower
January 20, 2025
dit was wel vermakelijk om te luisteren, niet helemaal waar ik voor ging en had ook niet echt haast om door le lezen maar het was wel grappig
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