One Light Still Shines: My Life Beyond the Shadow of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting

by Marie Monville, Cindy Lambert (primary_contributor)

'My story is not about my past, but about your future.' In the startling tragedy of the Amish schoolhouse shooting at Nickel Mines, one story has never been told. Marie Roberts Monville, the wife of the man who created such horror, tells her story for the very first time. It is a story of sorrow, of madness and destruction, but also one of deliverance, compassion, forgiveness and beauty. Marie Monville knew that day that life, as she knew it, was over. What she never anticipated was a personal encounter with God that would rewrite all she believed about herself, her faith, and the God she thought she knew. The Milkman's Daughter reveals three love stories: the innocent love of a milkman's daughter for a husband in pain, the incomprehensible love of God in the aftermath of massacre and destruction, and the promise-filled love of God waiting to unfold in the life of every person who reads this book. Marie's journey since that darkest of days has been invaded with light, and these pages shine that light into the darkest questions we all face--questions about our past, our value, our identity, and own powerlessness in this fallen world. Come face to face with the Power behind every answer.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography, Christian, Memoir, Amish, Biography Memoir, Religion

320 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2013

Reviews

[Andrea Groff · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I Love About the Book: The first thing that caught my attention when I first heard of the book was the title "One Light Still Shines." As I read the book, the context of book's title was woven through her entire writing. Amidst her pain and questions, she recognized the Light that was still shining for her & all the individuals involved.She has borne her heart through her book and shared her struggles as she began to pick up the pieces and move on after the tragedy. She reflected on God's love surrounding her and the support of her family & friends as each day passed.As she spoke of her husband, she recognized the tragedy that had befallen the individuals at the hands of her husband, but she also recognized him for the husband & father he was to their family, realizing the turmoil that he had kept hidden within for many years.She chose forgiveness and love amidst all that had happened and reflects the joy that follows the sorrow.

Why I Recommend the Book: I recommend the book for the message that it portrays. Amidst the tragedy of the situation & circumstances that may come, she has shown that there is a Light and hope for the persons involved. She has revealed the need of a growing relationship with God, no matter what circumstances surround you, as well the love God shows to his children each and every day.

[AJourneyWithoutMap · Rating 5 out of 5]

Described as a Conservative Christian and family man, Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, was married and a father of three. He was a milk delivery person from Bart township. On October 2, 2006 he entered a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, took 10 girls hostage, shot them killing five of them before taking his own life as police stormed into the school by breaking through the window. A pregnant woman, three parents with infants, and all fifteen male students were told to leave the school by Roberts.

A news report in the aftermath of the incident claimed he had been planning the attacks for a week and had brought along a 9 mm handgun, a 12 gauge shotgun, a rifle, a bag of black powder, two knives, tools, a stun gun, 600 rounds of ammunition, KY sexual lubricant, wire and plastic ties. The wire and plastic items presumably to be used for securing the victims, and KY jelly apparently to sexually assault the girls. Perhaps anticipating a long siege, he also brought a change of clothing.

According to reports, Roberts phoned his wife from within the school house before he murdered the children. Ironically, his wife was said to be leading a prayer group at the time that was organized to pray for school children in their community.

When Marie Roberts Monville learned that her husband was the Nickel Mines Amish schoolhouse shooter, she was shattered and thought her life was over. What she never anticipated was a life-changing encounter with God reaching deep into her circumstances and rewriting all she believed about herself and her faith.

Recounting her ordeal for the first time, Marie shares a heartbreaking story of a woman whose husband murdered innocent children and who through her pain and suffering embraced the love and mercy of God. The Amish community after the incident put emphasis on forgiveness and reconciliation. An Amish neighbor visited the Roberts' home the same night of the incident and offered forgiveness to the family. Judgment is in God's hands: `Judge not, that ye be not judged.'

One Light Still Shines: My Life Beyond the Shadow of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting by Marie Monville, and collaborated by Cindy Lambert, is a tragic tale that evoked deep emotions worldwide. But that is not the end... It is also a beautiful story of redemption. In the book Marie shares how her pain and helplessness to deal with the situation has been replaced by hope and redemption.

One Light Still Shines is a three-in-one love stories:
-a devoted wife's innocent love for a husband in pain,
-the unfathomable mercy and love of God in the aftermath of massacre and destruction,
-and the redemptive love of Christ, waiting to unfold in the life of every person who reads this book.

Marie's journey since that darkest of days has been invaded with light which shines through these pages into the darkest questions we all face - questions about our past, our value, our identity, and own powerlessness in this fallen world. Come face to face with the Power behind every answer - a love that begs to be received.

One Light Still Shines is a story that has forever changed a community. It can change yours too!

[Karen Wingate · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Light Still Shines tells the story of how one woman survived the worst of life circumstances and how God is able and willing to not only sustain us, but to pierce the darkness with his light. Marie Roberts Monville, the widow of the man responsible for the massacre of 5 Amish girls in 2006, tells the story of how she and her children clung to the light of God's grace, buoyed by the love, kindness, and grace of a forgiving Amish community. There are so many quotable quotes in this book. I could hardly put this book down. I so appreciate Marie's transparency and her deep abiding faith in a God who can carry any of us through the worst life throws at us. This is not just a memoir, this is a book of hope and victory for any of us.

[Jennifer Fluegge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful story of the grace of God at work in very difficult circumstances!

Listened to on hoopla thanks to my local public library.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Remember the Amish schoolhouse shooting? I do, and figured it was probably a couple of years ago. I was pretty shocked to realize that it happened in 2006 -- 7 years ago now. One Light Still Shines: My Life Beyond the Shadow of the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting tells the tale, not of what happened during the shooting, but of what happened afterwards to the wife of the shooter.

She (Marie) was a 28-year-old mom of 3 young kids. She'd been raised in the church and was a classic "good girl," so when she learned that while she was at a prayer meeting, her seemingly good guy, Christian husband had shot up a nearby Amish schoolhouse, killing 5 little girls and injuring others, and killing himself as well, she couldn't believe it.

In the days and weeks following the shooting, she and her children were showered with goodwill from all the people you'd expect, and many you might not: the day of the shooting, several Amish men (including some whose children had been killed) came to the house where she were staying and offered their full forgiveness to her, as well as offers to help her in any way they could.

Marie makes some observations about the whole incomprehensible situation: God believed in me enough that he allowed me to be Charlie's wife, even though he knew that these circumstances would arise and threaten to destroy everything I held dear. He allowed me to walk the road that led here anyway. Another time she sensed God telling her, You know only limits. I am limitless.

God richly blessed Marie, giving her an almost unbelievably caring and optimistic family (her mom, who was with her throughout, commented shortly after the shooting, "I can't wait until God does something grand in this situation." Wow -- that is pretty much not what I would be thinking!

Within a month, God also led Marie to another godly man whom she married and now they're all happy. Thanks to the incredible generosity of those around here, the coming months also presented her with a trip to Europe, a Disney Cruise, and piles and piles of donations and cards from friends and strangers alike. This book made me think about our lives, our sorrows, and God's overseeing of it all. We will all face trials: some, like Marie, face theirs all in one horrific day, and then get a happily-ever-after, complete with a great guy, a book deal, etc. Others of us face the sadness of a longer, drawn-out sorrow that promises no happily-ever-after this side of heaven and no recognition from others. But no matter the path He calls us to, this book is a good reminder that God will walk faithfully beside us if we'll only open our eyes to see His presence.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

First I want to say how can you really put star ratings on someone else's life? Especially with someone's life that has gone through so much. I feel Marie and the Amish deserve five stars just for their forgiveness alone. But, not only have they forgiven, as has Marie, but have been touched by God in so many ways.

I know we are suppose to forgive, but losing all those children for the Amish they must have strength I don't have and wish I did. I have gone through stuff in my life and try to forgive and find strength, but nothing like they have gone through.

What a wonderful community to live in for Marie when she was going through this tragedy which she didn't create. It was at the hands of her husband. I loved how the Amish came to Marie's husband's funeral and made a wall around the gravesite to protect her family from the media.

I've read the Amish book about the shooting and it still amazes me the strength they have from God to forgive.

I really like what was written on page 295 about how God is not the source of any sin but he is the salvation of sin, and that he is with us in our sufferings and helps us heal with his presence. There is more to this and I hope it sounds right here, but there is so much truth in that.

The Amish and in this book as well as Marie has shown the public what it is truly like to be able to forgive. I think God has shown millions of people that forgiveness is what you have to do and pray about it when it's hard. I feel that millions of people were in awe of how the Amish came to the Roberts family and helped them through the tragedy. I do understand this was in no way the fault of Marie's family but that of the hands of her husband. But, for the Amish to step in and help the family when they had lost so many of their own children amazes me.

We are doing this book as our Inspirational book group for Jan. 2014. And, I must say there is a lot of inspirational moments in this book.

[Tim Sivils · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am fairly certain I will never read a book that more clearly demonstrates God's ability to bring beauty from ashes. Though the book moved a bit slowly at times, the message was crystal clear: God can and does do miraculous feats of renewal and restoration in the most horrible, heart wrenching situations. This book documents it time and time again. Very inspiring. I highly recommend it.

[Ceci Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

(memo to myself)
p192 "Their hurt went deep, but not so deep as to drown out the ability to see into the life of another suffering human."

p199 “I want to love my life. Will you show me how?”

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

One light still shines is the perfect title for this book. That one light, God, led Marie and her family out of the bleakest of times and into the brightness of starting a new life of happiness. This is a book of Marie's spiritual journey through the tragedy her life became the moment her husband Charlie decided to go into an Amish School and commit a horrendous crime before taking his own life. The darkness that came into her life that day did not take over her life. Even though there were many low moments, her faith and trust in God let light break through the darkness and show her that God was going to help her through and would not leave her in her time of need.
Last year I read the book written by Terri Roberts, the shooters mother. No matter how much I read on this horrific incident, my mind has a hard time comprehending what would make him target innocent Amish girls. The Roberts family's faith and the Amish communities forgiveness really makes you stop and think of how we live our lives. We could all do better by taking this to heart and making faith and forgiveness a part of our everyday lives. What a different world this could be if everyone could do this.

[Anne (In Search of Wonder) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible story of how God's grace redeems even the most unthinkable tragedy. That grace is available to all of us, but I don't think most of us experience it to the extent the author did, because we have not yet arrived at that posture of complete and total surrender that she had learned. Great testimony.

[Posadafan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do remember the intense media coverage, though I didn't really keep up with it. I actually got this book from the library not because of any interest in the "real story" behind the tragedy, but to find out how someone overcomes senseless violence created by a loved one.

I shouldn't have been surprised that Marie's complete and unwavering immersion into God is what turned things around for her and her kids. She is one faith-filled woman. As another reviewer mentioned, she did have other resources around her that not everyone who goes through a bad situation has...she had an intensely close-knit and perfect-sounding family who embraced and protected her...lots of faith-based groups/church folks who showered her with love, gifts, presents, money...benefactors who donated entire trips (Paris, a cruise, trip to Disney!), and strangers who sent them stuff...and remarkable Amish neighbors who were able to not let their grief affect their compassion.

Marie has really got it together, and I give her a lot of credit for handing things as well as she did. She seems to be a great parent and loving daughter, with a genuine ability to "process" things in the best possible way. An extraordinary woman, in a lot of ways. She always seemed to know the right thing to say, in the most well-thought-out way (though there was an accomplished co-writer for this book, so maybe it was polished up a bit).

I did find it a bit creepy that she would even be thinking and praying about the possibility (or not) of a future man in her/her kids' lives, weeks after the shooting...and fall intensely in love a few months later, even pouting because she hadn't gotten that ring on her finger less than 6 months later). Dunno, but that's waayy fast. She does provide a list of things that people said when cautioning her about that - which was funny because it was what I was thinking. But she does explain it in a way that you can understand how it happened so fast. Sort of.

SPOILER ALERT: Her kindly and beloved Dad dies at the end of the book, and it's a bit rushed through. Seeing how much she loved him, you would think it would deserve more type than the story about the dog dying. And I wish she'd said something about the girls that survived. How are they doing? She briefly mentions a hospital visit to one of the girls who had extensive brain and trauma injuries, but doesn't really talk about the little girl.

Ok, maybe I am nit-picking. The fact is, though this book is heavy on the religion, it does a good job in showing how one can plow through adversity and get to that shining light. It doesn't minimize the tragedy - and it truly was. Her (first) husband was a secret monster, I guess; even though Marie apparently doesn't feel that way - she thought he made some "very bad choices" and was overcome with things. She does do an excellent job with her kids, reminding them about good memories of him - apparently he was a good Dad and husband. I personally think she lets her husband off the hook, but her religion has guided her on this, too, so who am I - or anyone - to tell her otherwise?

I wish Marie & family much happiness.

[Bridget · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. WOW. My mom mentioned this book in passing in an email. I picked it up (well, checked it out via Kindle) almost in passing, to read in between the arrival of more anticipated books.

But WOW. I don't think a book has ever touched me the way this book has. I am absolutely not a touchy-feely-book person. I don't like it when books seek to manipulate my emotions. I also don't generally go for religious books aside from the scriptures themselves, whether that religion is pseudo (think Mitch Albom books...total dreck, in my opinion) or for real.

This book wears EMOTION and RELIGION and JESUS on its sleeve, and I embraced almost every minute of it. I would recommend that anyone who is human read at least the first half of this book, even better the first 3/4 (and then finish it off if you can manage). I have never wept such genuine tears while reading a book. This woman speaks a different religious language than I do (lots more "Jesus with skin on" and such), and she prays in a different way than I do, but the workings of God in her life as described in this book transcended syntax and word choice and spoke directly to my soul and spirit.

I think I will be uplifted anytime I think of this woman's story, and I am so glad that she wrote this unlikely book. What a fantastic way to start the year!

[Jessica Dudenhofer Beery · Rating 3 out of 5]

To be honest, I did not really enjoy this book and felt like it would never end. I was told by those who recommended it that "wow, she is SUCH a good Christian - I would never do what she did."
The author intended the focus to be on the "Author" of her story, but it kind of got lost in how she shared her feelings. I didn't really how often she claimed the Lord physically SPOKE to her, though I suppose, it's not impossible.
Someone going through a hard time might "enjoy" the book, reminding you how God can still make tragic circumstances turn out for good, but I wouldn't go out of my way to point the book out or recommend it.
The background on the Amish shooting was interesting though.

[Rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and was just a little girl when I heard about the Nickel Mines tragedy. Now over ten year later, it was amazing to read about this story from the perspective of Marie Roberts Monville, the widow of the man responsible for the shooting. I cried buckets while reading this book, it was moving and hard to put down. I would not agree with everything that took place in this book (like Marie's decision to marry a divorced man) but I did enjoy the book as a whole. It was amazing to see how God worked in Marie's life as a result of the tragedy.

[Laurel Kehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

She was in one of the darkest places I can ever imagine and saw God's redemption literally every step of the way! It encouraged my faith, that our God LOVES to enter in, to transform the horrors of life!

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading about the great love and healing from God that came out of an unspeakable tragedy! Marie is an inspiration.

[Ashley Schieber · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible story of God’s redemption and grace. The Amish families’ forgiveness and love towards Marie and her children is an indescribable beauty that still moves me to tears even after finishing the story.

[Lynnette Hager · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this down. Such a compelling read on unthinkable tragedy and the power of forgiveness.

[Tim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This story is amazing. The tragedy of little Amish schoolgirls being shot, and the rather breathtaking decision by the Amish community and parents of those girls to publicly forgive and then embrace and support the wife and family of the man who committed the act, was shockingly unexpected. I still remember the 2006 event, and even more so, the way the media was caught by surprise by the public act of not just forgiveness, but a decision to embrace this "lost family."

This story is more than just a glimpse into a far different world than we tend to live in, but a recounting with depth and richness.

Marie Monville was 28, with three children, when her husband committed this crime. Her introduction sets the stage for the rest of the book, "I'd like to tell you a love story. I could tell another story instead. I could recount a gruesome, premeditated murder. I could describe unspeakable acts. I could take you behind the scenes into the shielded private world of my Amish neighbors as they mourned the horrific losses of their daughters, granddaughters, nieces, sisters, and friends. .... I have been asked to tell those stories time and time again. But those are not my stories to tell. ... the only story I have to tell is my own. Although an unspeakable tragedy invaded my life and thrust me into a sudden storm of darkness, my story has always been and continues to be one of miraculous love."

And so the story goes, Marie recounts her life, her childhood, her quiet rural life growing up among the Amish. Her bond with a church community, becoming the wife of a man she loved and respected, and eventually three children. Then and only then, does her life change in ways most of us would shudder to consider.

She is a Christian, her faith is what orders her world. And she writes her story in sometimes a nearly unworldly manner about her ongoing conversations with Jesus. And His answers and at times practically physical support.

Some readers will likely be put off by this personalized interaction that she recounts through her life and through the immediate aftermath of the event, how it occurred nearly day by day, if not hour by hour at times. But this isn't a superficial evangelical recounting in some proud way how a person interacts with God daily about somewhat mundane decisions of how to be kinder to a neighbor, or finding peace to live with an older car than what others drive to church. This is a powerful recounting of her living through events no one would think to prepare for - to tell her children that their father "had done some bad things," that he wasn't coming back, with fuller explanations to follow as her children could handle it. At 28, preparing a funeral for a mate who had torn apart a rural community, having to deal with media, with possible and even understandable hate from those in the small town, etc.

So, this read is worth it. It is raw, it is surprising, it is a deep view into several dynamics American society seldom explores, and left this reader with plenty to ponder.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

One Light certainly does shine through this book! I admire Marie’s willingness to share her story. It is truly an inspiration.

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this following Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy because I wanted to hear the story from another perspective. I'm thankful that life worked out so well for the author after what her husband put her through, so from that angle I enjoyed the book.

However, I probably wouldn't recommend this one. Unless you are fluent in Christianese, you're going to be confused by her writing. I wish that her experiences had been written about in a more accessible way.

I was also surprised that she didn't grapple with the question: "Where is my husband, the murderer, now?" For the memoir of a deeply religious person, this was strange. Did she honestly not wonder this? Did her children not ask?

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read Think No Evil (Beiler and Smucker) and Amish Grace (Kraybill, Nolt, and Weaver-Zercher) and expected this book to be more of the same. I picked it up because the Amish and the Nickel Mines shooting are well-known in this area but this book is so much more than another perspective on the crime that brought this family into a spotlight they neither caused nor wanted. When Monville's husband entered the Amish schoolroom, young girls became innocent victims but so did Charlie's wife and children, left to face questions for which they had no answers and with no husband or father to support them through it. But long before the schoolhouse shooting, God was meeting Marie right where she was, drawing her closer to him so that when she received the cryptic phone call from her husband, telling her that he wasn't coming home, she was almost immediately surrounded by a supernatural peace. As the days became weeks and then months and years, God continued to show her family, in tangible ways, that they were not forgotten; that He was always right there. The pages of this book taught me more about grace and redemption than a lifetime of living.

[Darcy Gregg · Rating 1 out of 5]

I started this book because I thought it would be good to get the perspective of a tragedy from the point of view of the Attacker ( His family) and not the victims. Also the fact that it was in Amish country I thought it would be interesting peak into their lives. This book did neither for me and I have to confess I got about half way through before I gave up. I did the audio book and believe it was read by the author and it wasn't a very strong voice, there was nothing pulling me in. It was full of cliches and perhaps if you like a book where they mention God on every page, this is for you, but for me, it was a bit much. I was confused by the description of the car and her driving and phones in the house and then talking about the Amish men on scooters and all the back breaking work they do , which is how we picture it. I don't picture them hoping in a car and going to grocery store. Stuff like this left me with more questions than I started with and with my frustration of feeling like I'm going around in circles and not getting anywhere, I decided to quit the book.

[Tammy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow. I couldn't recommend this book enough. My "moment" of sobbing was when the Amish filed in line to protect Maria and family from the prying eyes of the news reporters during the gravesite memorial. What grace. Thanks David and Jill for recommending I read it--better yet, for handing it to me to read!

[Rosalie · Rating 3 out of 5]

6.5. My expectations were low for this book, so it pretty well met my expectations. It is very inspiring to read how dialed in she is to God, and how He got her through life after the shooting. While I appreciated reading about that very much, there wasn’t a lot else to the story, which made it a bit flat. The writing itself, of course, is good but not great.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book but actually didn't care much for it. It's long and winded. The only good part was hearing the love and compassion the Amish shared with her family in their own grief and Marie's faith in God. There are good messages about God hence the 3 stars.

[Cosette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amazing. Really good description of pain.

[Verna LaBounty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Inspiring story of the aftermath of the Amish School shooting.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the book! Unfortunately my curious side wanted a few more details about the devastating shooting.

[Rosanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very little introspection here, no answers. Kind of bizarre actually.