This review is going to pick this book apart. Maybe someone else enjoyed this book without reading it with a critical eye. But once my brain noted these issues, I couldn’t stop seeing issues all around.
About 15% into the book I started making a note on my phone about things that were bugging me. That should’ve been the first clue.
And now, dear reader, I shall share them with you.
Firstly, the name. The character is Giuseppina, the Italian version of Josephine, but is she called Jo? No, that would make too much sense. She’s called Jess.
Secondly, instead of a normal person and separating sections within a chapter with a double space and justified first paragraph, or at least having some consistency, she alternates between using small double lines OR an all caps mini-title. It bothered me to no end — just be consistent!
Where is the editor???
Thirdly, related to the above, I don’t like the way she does flashbacks. Instead of Jess reflecting on her past when something reminds her, and therefore reading her mental reflection, she journals them. She’s in therapy, through an online faux BetterHelp called Thera-Me, and instead of her working through her issues in heart-wrenching discussions with her therapists (instead she yaps on about how they’re not Italian so they don’t get her), she journals her memories. Which, fair, very real thing people do, except she does it in her notes app of her phone, which is not very Victorian of her, and the memory we read is what we’re supposed to believe she’s writing down. It’s SEVERAL PAGES worth of memories. Furthermore, she receives this therapy online even while in Italy. Big issue, as she’s seeing American therapists and their clients must be in the country and state they are licensed in to receive therapy. C’mon editor!!
And one of the instances she journals these essays is when she’s at the bedside of her dying uncle. You’re telling me she’s sitting next to her uncle whom she loves more than her parents and is twittering away one her phone to the point that she doesn’t even notice him wake up and his first comment is her being on her phone? Like she’s either super tone deaf or really emotionally immature. It’s just such an odd plot device when she could just be reflecting in her mind.
Speaking of, she leaves her husband for the very big reason of *checks notes* she’s bored and wants more out of life? The boy she was obsessed about for her whole life she divorces because she’s not even trying to ask him if he’ll do things with her to help with her boredom? Even though literally he’s done nothing wrong? Another tick in emotional immaturity.
Jess also suffers from panic attacks, and as someone who also suffers from panic attacks, I feel as if the author has never had one by the way she writes it. It feels like she took all her experience of panic attacks from childhood cartoons, because Jess feels better by breathing into a paper bag. Yes. You read that right. And even though we’re in Jess’ perspective, there’s very little physiological description of how she feels during a panic attack, which makes the reader feel separated from the incident.
Related to her panic attacks, she suffers from anxiety. The author also wrote in a way that felt like she didn’t research medical conditions. Apparently in this world, Jess’ pediatrician told her parents not to tell her that she was a premature baby, and she’s in her mid-thirties. Why not? Because they thought her time in an incubator led to her anxiety and that the knowledge of that would perpetuate her anxiety. While it’s not uncommon for individuals who were premature to have anxiety, the idea that it was being in the incubator alone that did it undermines the issue, and keeping a piece of Jess’ medical history from her feels simultaneously irresponsible and improbable.
Medical accuracies is not this author’s strong suit. Jess’ Uncle Louie has a heart attack, and while he’s in the hospital with Jess journaling away, he ends up dying after having a code blue. But his cause of death makes no sense to me as a nurse. He had a heart attack, which is related to a blockage in the vessels and leads to a lack of oxygen in the heart. But when Louie ultimately collapses and dies after initially recovering from the heart attack, some staff run in, one nurse with defibrillation paddles (which are not commonly used any more). Then she STRADDLES Uncle Louie to shock him, which would mean she’s touching him and would shock herself too. All that is done is one shock of Uncle Louie, which fails. The nurse gets off the bed, literally says, “We tried” and leaves. No medication, no intubation, no compressions, just a single shock from old paddles. That’s just not how it goes. The scene is like two paragraphs on one page long. If you blinked you’d miss it. Further, Jess later says his cause of death was heart failure, but if they had to shock him, that would be due to an improper heart rhythm or cardiac arrest, which is related to the electrical activity of the heart, not the vessels which is more heart attack/failure.
I ask again, where is the editor???
Not only did Uncle Louie die in front of Jess, so does one of her grandmas AND she finds her other grandma dead. Why is she there when so many people die?? It’s incredibly repetitive and lacks creativity. There’s even a sentence after her Aunt Lil dies when Jess mentions that she wasn’t there when she died. Just…why is this in the plot?
And on Aunt Lil dying, my last grievance that really bugged me was the eulogy. Jess doesn’t give one for Uncle Louie but as part of her ~growing~ she decides to give one for Aunt Lil. The eulogy is like five pages long, and instead of being written as dialogue, it’s placed in a little box, but still written as if Jess is talking. It’s just a weird structure and way too long. And midway through, it pauses to let Jess take a breath and it’s written in third-person, instead of first like rest of the book — hello, editor?!?
And I know these are small issues, but it genuinely felt like the author was like “screw realism, I’m gonna write this how I want.”
Stop! I almost forgot the best example of this. Here’s a direct quote.
“Uncle Louie used to say a relationship is like a crab on the beach; it will either go forward or backward but never sideways.”
!!!!Crabs EXCLUSIVELY walk sideways!!!!
I nearly DNF’d it, but mostly skimmed the last 25%. I felt as if I deserved something for reading it. And adding it to my challenge was it.