I’m Not Disappointed Just Mad AKA The Heaviest Couch in the Known Universe

by Daryl Gregory

A stoner kid and his best friend attempt to move a sofa across town during an alien invasion . . .

At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Aliens, Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Science Fiction Fantasy

61 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 20, 2024

About the author

Award-winning author of Revelator, The Album of Dr. Moreau, Spoonbenders, We Are All Completely Fine, and others. Some of his short fiction has been collected in Unpossible and Other Stories.

He's won the World Fantasy Award, as well as the Shirley Jackson, Crawford, Asimov Readers, and Geffen awards, and his work has been short-listed for many other awards, including the Hugo, Nebula, and Sturgeon awards . His books have been translated in over a dozen languages, and have been named to best-of-the-year lists from NPR Books, Publishers Weekly, Kirkus, and Library Journal.

He is also the writer of Flatline an interactive fiction game from 3 Minute Games, and comics such as Planet of the Apes.

He's a frequent teacher of writing and is a regular instructor at the Viable Paradise Writing Workshop.

Reviews

[Alina]

I’m Not Disappointed Just Mad AKA The Heaviest Couch in the Known Universe by Daryl Gregory- 4/5★

A Iain Banks tribute, very nice story with aliens and robots and space and some action. I've read a single short story of his before, Even the Crumbs Were Delicious, and I liked that also, but this was definitely much better.

The short story is found in Some of the Best from Reactor: 2024 Edition and can also be read on REACTOR

[Jamie]

An amazing tribute to the great Iain M. Banks and his Culture series in particular, with a decidedly outrageously amusing The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy vibe.

[Lizzie S]

3.5 stars! A rollicking homage to the late Iain M. Banks.

[Radwa]

honestly? I enjoyed this and was really amused by people continuing on with their day and even their PICNICS while there was an alien invasion going on. gave me "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" vibe.
and I like me some fourth wall breaking!

[Chanel Chapters]

When the aliens invade, don’t forget to lift with your knees.

3.25⭐️

[Joe]

perfect. the title was just quirky enough to catch my attention, but I’d no idea I was buying into an Iain Banks tribute. just lovely.

[Badseedgirl]

Read for the 2025 Tor reactormag.com short story reading challenge
This story and many more are available for free on reactormag.com

Daryl Gregory is just one of my favorite authors. At times I wish he was more prolific. But this statement is a little bit of a misnomer, but most of his works are comic books, which is not one of my favorite genres.

In this story Mr. Gregory is honoring the author Iain M. Banks. I have not read any of Mr. Banks work. He is sci-fi and horror is more of my wheelhouse, but I do try and expand my horizons. But the heart wants what the heart wants.

Mr. Gregory wrote this story with so much humor. I would love to read a continuation of the stroy and adventures of these characters.

[David Blaylock]

Interesting that this book made we want to read books from Iain Banks and Iain M. Banks.

[Bene Vogt]

This is such a loving and joyful ode to Bank’s CULTURE series that it has me seriously toying with the idea of giving a third book in it a chance despite being rather underwhelmed the first two times around.

[Kam Yung Soh]

A humourous and suitably weird story about an alien invasion and the attempt to move a rather large couch across town that the aliens are apparently interested in. It would be pretty obvious that one character and her magic levitating vacuum cleaner are not who they seem to be. But it would require a trip through space to fully reveal what the couch is capable of, in a homage to the Culture stories of Iain M. Banks.

[Chris Branch]

Ha. A brilliant tribute to …
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… Iain M. Banks and the Culture books, and I’m glad I didn’t know that going in, so I was able to recognize it gradually from the oddly familiar elements. Other reviews already give this away, but I feel bad about doing that, so I’m going to mark this as a spoiler, which I never do. Gregory is one of the few authors from whom I’ll read anything (Banks was another, though I haven’t read any of his non-SF work), so I’m glad to have heard about this story, available online (https://reactormag.com/im-not-disappo...). It’s fun, clever, quirky, deep, a bit sentimental, and a bit harsh; Banks too was all of these things at various times.

[Vanessa Palumbo]

This wasn't for me, but I enjoyed reading about Tindal and Aunty Mads relationship, but leaned too Sci-Fi for my liking overall. I loved Spoonbenders by this author and picked up this short story and was kinda of bummed I didn't enjoy it. 🛋️👽🍪

[TheThirdLie]

Very random and just abruptly ends.

[Max]

It doesn't happen every day that you come across a book heavily inspired by an author's work that would make you want to dive in and explore this other person's books so much. Daryl Gregory doesn't hide his love for Iain M. Banks.

The book itself is as strange you can get. Imagine seeing aliens invading your city and thinking let's move this couch, or that it would be a wonderful day for a picnic! I mean the entertainment, and by that yes I'm referring to the aliens shooting in the sky, is already there!

It's a very short tale but it does an amazing job capturing your attention and making the story more grand than it is by giving you small matters to worry about! It's short. It's fun. and It’s weird! What more do you want?

[Mayumi]

Ai adorei. Eu sempre quis ter uma tia louquinha ou ser eu mesma uma tia louquinha. Aquela mulher muito sábia, mentora, que ajuda nas coisas, dá conselhos do tipo que não se pede pros pais... eu acho muito especiais essas personagens e adorei a Aunty Mads. A história é bastante divertida, com muita ação, sinto que li um livro muito mais comprido do que esse que só tem 60 páginas. Apesar de ter um info dump, ele foi muito bom, gostei muito de entender a situação maior em que esses personagens estão inseridos e até queria uma continuação.

Li aqui.

[Horror Nerd]

Can a young Canadian slacker named Tindal, his best friend, and a homicidal robot, help save the galaxy from an alien invasion? What secrets does an old family couch hold? Will their crappy van get towed while they're up in space?
This short story packs so much in about sixty pages. The dialogue is genuinely funny, the characters are instantly likeable, and I'd love to read more set in this universe.

[Vz]

Probably one of the best of Some of the Best from Reactor: 2024 Edition. It managed to go from funny to annoying to gruesome to intense to poignant and back again within a few pages — being very much a tribute but with a Daryl Gregory accent.

[Julie]

Ok, I haven't read anything by Iain Banks (or Iain M. Banks) but clearly it's gonna have to happen.

This story was so much fun, and it just got better and better as it went along. It also had an element or two of Ancillary Justice, which is one of my favorite books ever.

[Joannah]

Fast paced, lots of action, quirky characters, just the way I prefer books.

I hadn't realized that I borrowed an e-novella, until I began to read
I was worried that it was too short. I needn't have worried.

[lyn]

oh now that's fun

maybe i should read a hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy or an iain banks book

put me back in my short story era

read it yourself here!

[Pedro Marroquín]

61 paginas gratuitas (en Reactor.com) que son una locura de invasión alienigena, dos tipos muy pasados, una fregoneta y sobre todo un buen homenaje a los libros de Iain M. Banks y su serie de la Cultura. B

[David]

In which a fan of Iain M. Banks inserts himself into his own rollicking space opera and this reader cracks a wide smile. The most fun I've had so far in 2025.

https://reactormag.com/im-not-disappo...

[R Frueh]

Oh, that was a lot of fun, and I finally figured out what I was reminded of when the car/van was named...

[Nicole Luiken]

I could not resist that plot description: a stoner and his friend try to move a couch across town during an alien invasion. Madcap SF with a sweet main character.

[Marissa]

I loved this. Short, sweet, creative structure and tone, phenomenal writing voice.

[Katherine]

This was a pretty cute (and very Canadian) tribute to Banks.

[Josh]

Short, but sweet.

[Anna Avian]

This story was a delight.

[Jezier]

Brilliantly written.

[Lewis Trussler-McCaskill]

I’m Not Disappointed Just Mad is a wild, 32-page trip that somehow balances stoner comedy, tender friendship, and full-on alien chaos. Tindal and El Cap’s mission to haul a couch across town while everything falls apart around them is low-stakes absurdity against the backdrop of an invasion. That contrast gives it charm and heart.

Daryl Gregory writes with precision and warmth. The humor is genuine rather than forced, the characters feel like people you’d bump into at a deteriorating flat share. The robot, the couch, the aliens—none of it is here simply to be weird. Everything in this story earns its place.

It’s short, but it stays with you. Somehow the finale feels deeper than you'd expect—about loyalty, silly heroism, and the strange things worth risking everything for. Four stars for a pocket-sized blast of empathy and sci-fi fun.