What do you think?
Rate this book
Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty-Year Trail to Overnight Success
A NATIONAL BESTSELLER
A humorous collection of autobiographical essays from comedian and Emmy Award–winning actor Jeff Hiller, who shares his journey from growing up “profoundly gay” in 1980s Texas to his experiences as an inept social worker and how he clawed, scraped, and brawled to Hollywood’s lower middle-tier.
While struggling to find success as an actor and pay the bills, something accidentally happened to Jeff he aged. And while it’s one thing to get older and rest on the laurels of success from the blood, sweat, and tears of your youth, it’s quite another to be old and have no laurels. At forty, stuck in a temp job making spreadsheets, the dream of becoming a star seemed out of reach. But after twenty-five years of guest roles on TV and performing improv in a grocery store basement, he finally struck gold with a breakout role on HBO’s Somebody Somewhere, playing Joel—the kind of best friend everyone wishes they had.
In his book, Jeff dives into the grit and grind of climbing the Hollywood ladder. It’s a raw and often hilarious tale of the struggles, triumphs, and humiliations that shaped him into the wonderfully imperfect person he is today. With a mix of awkward charm and heartfelt honesty, Jeff shares his growing up very Lutheran in Texas, navigating bullying as a gay kid, working as a social worker for unhoused youth and HIV prevention, and the endless ups and downs of being a struggling actor. For every one of us who have a dream that we’re chasing—and chasing, and chasing—his is a funny, moving, and utterly relatable story.
A humorous collection of autobiographical essays from comedian and Emmy Award–winning actor Jeff Hiller, who shares his journey from growing up “profoundly gay” in 1980s Texas to his experiences as an inept social worker and how he clawed, scraped, and brawled to Hollywood’s lower middle-tier.
While struggling to find success as an actor and pay the bills, something accidentally happened to Jeff he aged. And while it’s one thing to get older and rest on the laurels of success from the blood, sweat, and tears of your youth, it’s quite another to be old and have no laurels. At forty, stuck in a temp job making spreadsheets, the dream of becoming a star seemed out of reach. But after twenty-five years of guest roles on TV and performing improv in a grocery store basement, he finally struck gold with a breakout role on HBO’s Somebody Somewhere, playing Joel—the kind of best friend everyone wishes they had.
In his book, Jeff dives into the grit and grind of climbing the Hollywood ladder. It’s a raw and often hilarious tale of the struggles, triumphs, and humiliations that shaped him into the wonderfully imperfect person he is today. With a mix of awkward charm and heartfelt honesty, Jeff shares his growing up very Lutheran in Texas, navigating bullying as a gay kid, working as a social worker for unhoused youth and HIV prevention, and the endless ups and downs of being a struggling actor. For every one of us who have a dream that we’re chasing—and chasing, and chasing—his is a funny, moving, and utterly relatable story.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 10, 2025
658 people are currently reading
7597 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,148 reviews
July 14, 2025
Hilarious, thoughtful, tender, and a bit raunchy- this is my first celebrity memoir and is a new favorite read of the year! I HIGHLY recommend the audiobook narrated by Jeff, it made the experience all that more impactful and I couldn’t help but laugh every time he giggled 😂🧡
(Also this is secretly a horror novel bc there’s a blood drawing scene that genuinely made me lightheaded 😅)
(Also this is secretly a horror novel bc there’s a blood drawing scene that genuinely made me lightheaded 😅)
June 6, 2025
I love Jeff Hiller! Highly recommend this memoir, the audiobook is FANTASTIC!
June 8, 2025
5 stars
I loved everything about this book except that it ended.
Jeff Hiller is someone I've enjoyed and admired for so long, and it was a thrill to see him cast in a role that felt like such a good fit. Related note, if you have somehow not seen _Somebody Somewhere_, you've done yourself an incredible disservice that you should correct immediately. It's one of the best shows that's been on in the past few years, and I can say confidently it's in my top 5 of all time. It's a nonstop roller coaster of emotions in the very best way, and Hiller plays a central role in how and why the show is so special.
Now being in a special show does not ultimately result in a special memoir. This is an added bonus. Throughout the essays, Hiller shares so much of himself: his relationship with his immediate family throughout his life, his childhood experiences that were very positive at home and incredibly challenging outside of there, his connection to religion, his feelings about and explanations of aspects of his physical appearance, his work as an actor on stage and screen, his other professional endeavors, his identity, and his general sense of being. You'll also learn that Jeff is a December baby and exactly how old he ACTUALLY is. These latter two points might sound like strange inclusions, but they come up often and in pretty hilarious ways.
Like the show he may be best known for so far, Hiller also takes the audience through many emotions and experiences in this book. I thoroughly enjoyed this and cannot wait to listen to the audiobook next. If you know Jeff Hiller, you'll probably hear his voice in your head even if you do read by sight (I know I sure did), but I can't wait for the real deal.
I love a good memoir, and for me this is an outstanding example. I'm coming out of this read appreciating Jeff Hiller even more now.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Ingrid Carbuela at Simon & Schuster for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
I loved everything about this book except that it ended.
Jeff Hiller is someone I've enjoyed and admired for so long, and it was a thrill to see him cast in a role that felt like such a good fit. Related note, if you have somehow not seen _Somebody Somewhere_, you've done yourself an incredible disservice that you should correct immediately. It's one of the best shows that's been on in the past few years, and I can say confidently it's in my top 5 of all time. It's a nonstop roller coaster of emotions in the very best way, and Hiller plays a central role in how and why the show is so special.
Now being in a special show does not ultimately result in a special memoir. This is an added bonus. Throughout the essays, Hiller shares so much of himself: his relationship with his immediate family throughout his life, his childhood experiences that were very positive at home and incredibly challenging outside of there, his connection to religion, his feelings about and explanations of aspects of his physical appearance, his work as an actor on stage and screen, his other professional endeavors, his identity, and his general sense of being. You'll also learn that Jeff is a December baby and exactly how old he ACTUALLY is. These latter two points might sound like strange inclusions, but they come up often and in pretty hilarious ways.
Like the show he may be best known for so far, Hiller also takes the audience through many emotions and experiences in this book. I thoroughly enjoyed this and cannot wait to listen to the audiobook next. If you know Jeff Hiller, you'll probably hear his voice in your head even if you do read by sight (I know I sure did), but I can't wait for the real deal.
I love a good memoir, and for me this is an outstanding example. I'm coming out of this read appreciating Jeff Hiller even more now.
*Special thanks to NetGalley and Ingrid Carbuela at Simon & Schuster for this widget, which I received in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.
July 31, 2025
Being a huge fan of the HBO show "Somebody Somewhere," I was primed to love this memoir from one of its stars.
I listened to "Actress of a Certain Age" on audio, performed by Jeff himself, and it was a delight. Jeff shares stories from his childhood and his decades-long acting career, always managing to find the humor in a difficult situation.
Of course, some of my favorite stories were about the making of "Somebody Somewhere," and after starting the book I rewatched the entire series, so his descriptions of specific scenes were fresh in my mind.
If you like celebrity memoirs, you will probably enjoy this book, even if you haven't seen the HBO show yet. And if you are a fan of "Somebody Somewhere," this book is highly recommended.
I listened to "Actress of a Certain Age" on audio, performed by Jeff himself, and it was a delight. Jeff shares stories from his childhood and his decades-long acting career, always managing to find the humor in a difficult situation.
Of course, some of my favorite stories were about the making of "Somebody Somewhere," and after starting the book I rewatched the entire series, so his descriptions of specific scenes were fresh in my mind.
If you like celebrity memoirs, you will probably enjoy this book, even if you haven't seen the HBO show yet. And if you are a fan of "Somebody Somewhere," this book is highly recommended.
October 22, 2025
Hilarious and heart-warming!
April 11, 2025
I must confess that I was unfamiliar with actor Jeff Hiller prior to picking up "Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty-Year Trail to Overnight Success," a light and humorous collection of autobiographical essays from the actor who spent 20+ years struggling to find success as an actor until landing a memorable role in HBO's "Somebody Somewhere." (which I've also never heard of nor seen).
Despite being mostly unfamiliar with Hiller, this didn't impact my ability to appreciate this often humorous, occasionally quite poignant collection about his growing up "profoundly gay" in 1980s Texas, working for awhile as an "inept" social worker, and then stumbling his way toward the lower middle-tier of Hollywood success.
It feels almost cliche' to acknowledge that I found the most meaningful essays in "Actress of a Certain Age" to be those involving Hiller's growing up and, quite especially, his journey toward self-discovery and coming out. Hiller possesses a rather refreshing honesty with just the right amount of vulnerability to really bring these essays to life. While I seldom laughed out loud here, I consistently enjoyed "Actress of a Certain Age" and I always appreciated it.
You may not know Hiller when you begin reading "Actress of a Certain Age," however, by the time you've finished the book you'll likely wish you did.
Despite being mostly unfamiliar with Hiller, this didn't impact my ability to appreciate this often humorous, occasionally quite poignant collection about his growing up "profoundly gay" in 1980s Texas, working for awhile as an "inept" social worker, and then stumbling his way toward the lower middle-tier of Hollywood success.
It feels almost cliche' to acknowledge that I found the most meaningful essays in "Actress of a Certain Age" to be those involving Hiller's growing up and, quite especially, his journey toward self-discovery and coming out. Hiller possesses a rather refreshing honesty with just the right amount of vulnerability to really bring these essays to life. While I seldom laughed out loud here, I consistently enjoyed "Actress of a Certain Age" and I always appreciated it.
You may not know Hiller when you begin reading "Actress of a Certain Age," however, by the time you've finished the book you'll likely wish you did.
July 9, 2025
It's been a rough 2025 personally and politically, so much so that I did not pick up a book for about two months and when I did, it was hit or miss where I would read for a few days and then not for a couple more weeks, and when I did read and even complete a book or two, I wasn't really enjoying it for the books. I am happy to report that ended with this memoir, which was an utter joy and the proverbial chicken soup for the soul.
For those of you who are wondering who Jeff Hiller is, he is a character actor of stage and screen who finally got his big break playing Joel on the HBO (Max) series 'Somebody Somewhere' - a dramedy that is also that metaphorical warm hug, so much so that we are currently on our second rewatch of the entire series -- which isn't much, three 7-episode seasons of approximately 30 minute episodes. If you are unaware of Hiller, I recommend watching this show and then reading this book.
This is one of the funniest and warmest memoirs I have ever read and also a homage to celebrity memoirs with Hiller titling each chapter after a memoir written by a much more famous actor. I can relate to Hiller and his character Joel (who are very much alike) growing up as an awkward gay child with somewhat of a religious upbringing. Hiller is such a normal/everyday person, which hardly seems like a compliment with sincerity and just being a nice/good person seems in short supply these days. And this isn't a "rags to riches" memoir either with Hiller's success not being one that would land him a mansion in Beverly Hills or private jets -- so even his success and life is relatable which is often not the case with celebrity memoirs.
Anyhow, 5 stars mostly for the feelings and comfort and plenty of laughs this book gave me, but also a very well-done book in its execution and Hiller being a fine writer and wonderful storyteller.
June 11, 2025
HILARIOUS. Listen to the audiobook of this. Jeff's giggles and random side notes in the audiobook make it. I had to stop walking to take deep breaths laughing. and damn near got in an accident when I was listening to it because I was laughing so hard. Truly a gem!
April 4, 2025
I read tons of celebrity memoirs, and none have ever been as funny as this one. The best celebrity memoirs are always written by people who aren’t necessarily A listers, but you know them when you see them. My favorite celebrity memoir of all time is Minka Kelly’s TELL ME EVERYTHING. Jeff Hiller’s is my favorite comedic celebrity memoir.
When I first saw Jeff Hiller in the HBO series Somebody, Somewhere three years ago, I fell in love with his and Bridget Everett’s characters. It’s a show about misfits and underdogs, played by misfits and underdogs. This comes through in the show and in his memoir.
He writes about childhood bullying, which, unsurprisingly, was pretty brutal to a gay kid growing up 1980s Texas. He makes it funny, though. His mom tries to help him dress like the cool kids and it backfires spectacularly. I laughed out loud so many times reading this book.
Did I mention that he accidentally studied abroad in Namibia because he was too polite to tell the study abroad adviser at his school that he would have preferred Ireland? On his third plane ride ever, he flew to Africa.
Jeff is so funny, it hurts. He played a flight attended many times despite being 6’5”. No airline would ever hire someone that tall!
There are so many beautiful, tragic, and hilarious lines in this memoir. When he tells you he’s read dozens of celeb memoirs, you believe it because his writing is so open and captivating and compelling.
I love this book, but I love that Jeff Hiller became a household name in his forties even more. It’s never too late to be an underdog.
When I first saw Jeff Hiller in the HBO series Somebody, Somewhere three years ago, I fell in love with his and Bridget Everett’s characters. It’s a show about misfits and underdogs, played by misfits and underdogs. This comes through in the show and in his memoir.
He writes about childhood bullying, which, unsurprisingly, was pretty brutal to a gay kid growing up 1980s Texas. He makes it funny, though. His mom tries to help him dress like the cool kids and it backfires spectacularly. I laughed out loud so many times reading this book.
Did I mention that he accidentally studied abroad in Namibia because he was too polite to tell the study abroad adviser at his school that he would have preferred Ireland? On his third plane ride ever, he flew to Africa.
Jeff is so funny, it hurts. He played a flight attended many times despite being 6’5”. No airline would ever hire someone that tall!
There are so many beautiful, tragic, and hilarious lines in this memoir. When he tells you he’s read dozens of celeb memoirs, you believe it because his writing is so open and captivating and compelling.
I love this book, but I love that Jeff Hiller became a household name in his forties even more. It’s never too late to be an underdog.
June 15, 2025
This memoir was made perfect by having the author read it. It is touching, funny and entertaining. I found Somebody Somewhere after the second season and loved the show and the character of Joel was something special ❤️
June 24, 2025
Brought to you by Snickers.
July 24, 2025
Such a delightful read! I could practically hear him read it as I read, and that made it even better. I'll have to listen to the audiobook at some point.
And if you haven't yet watched him in Somebody Somewhere, you REALLY have to drop everything and remedy that. It's such a beautiful and funny show and he's wonderful as Joel, the kind of best friend everyone deserves. It's the kind of show that restores your faith in humanity and makes you laugh your ass off at the same time.
And if you haven't yet watched him in Somebody Somewhere, you REALLY have to drop everything and remedy that. It's such a beautiful and funny show and he's wonderful as Joel, the kind of best friend everyone deserves. It's the kind of show that restores your faith in humanity and makes you laugh your ass off at the same time.
June 29, 2025
Jeff Hiller is an absolute gem and we don’t deserve him. This book is a delight to read, warm, funny, joyous and so full of little BTS moments. I laughed so damn much. Thank you, Jeff!
August 3, 2025
Life is strange, I know (or have met) so many folks in Hiller’s circle, but have never met Hiller himself. I picked this up hoping to relive a little of the downtown NYC early 2000s scene, but that was a very brief part of the book. There’s a lot of focus on his early, non-nyc life, and while his high school and early career experience will resonate strongly with a lot of gay folks coming of age at that time, the straightforward memoir format somehow makes this lack the spark it needs to catch fire. Hiller has a quick wit and can turn a phrase and I think a collection of essays, a la Sedaris or Lebowitz would have been more exciting and allowed the book to reach a wider audience. As it is, it’s mostly for the die-hard fans.
August 14, 2025
Do yourself a favor and enjoy the hell out of the audiobook version of this. I wasn’t loving just reading it—though I did like it. But Jeff Heller’s diction and delivery on audio make this book a *delight*.
I adore this kind-hearted human and his story is one that reminds me of the goodness of not giving up and the beauty of humbly being who we are, whether the opportunities or accolades we wish for come or not.
I adore this kind-hearted human and his story is one that reminds me of the goodness of not giving up and the beauty of humbly being who we are, whether the opportunities or accolades we wish for come or not.
August 27, 2025
I haven’t laughed this much at a book in a long time. Jeff Hiller is a delight. If you miss Somebody Somewhere like I do, listen to Jeff read this audiobook and it will make you feel better, like spending time in the company of an old friend.
August 13, 2025
4.5 stars rounded up--laugh-out-loud funny on audiobook!
September 1, 2025
As a fan of Somebody Somewhere I couldn’t resist reading Jeff Hiller’s memoir. Let me tell you, it was a pure joy. Hiller recounts his long career as a working actor who landed a role on the HBO series Somebody Somewhere. His memoir is funny, heartwarming, poignant, and a lesson in gratitude.
If you’ve never seen Somebody Somewhere, what are you even DOING? Watch the show! (It’s three seasons of pure delight and friendship and love that sadly HBO didn’t see fit to renew but will be on my recurring watch list until the end of time.) And then you’ll fall in love with Hiller’s character Joel, and then go read this memoir.
If you’ve never seen Somebody Somewhere, what are you even DOING? Watch the show! (It’s three seasons of pure delight and friendship and love that sadly HBO didn’t see fit to renew but will be on my recurring watch list until the end of time.) And then you’ll fall in love with Hiller’s character Joel, and then go read this memoir.
November 19, 2025
LOLZed several times! Perfect blend of vulnerability and pop culture references. “Public health is gossip in the name of science.”
July 20, 2025
To know Jeff Hiller is to love him. Have you seen Somebody Somewhere on HBO? It’s an amazing 3 season series starring Bridget Everett, Murray Hill, Mary Catherine Garrison, and Jeff. His memoir came at just the right time. Full of life’s ups and downs, it certainly ends on a high note.
January 10, 2026
I absolutely love Jeff Hiller! If you haven’t watched Somebody Somewhere you are absolutely missing out. Please watch this beautifully quiet show about identity and found families. You must listen to the audiobook version, so you can hear Hiller narrate—such a treat! This is honestly my rule with every memoir—to hear it read by the author. Otherwise something is missing and it just doesn’t pack the same punch.
July 29, 2025
Even though I am stingy with five stars, I am rounding up from 4.5 stars as feel the author will be reading these reviews and I am big fan of Somebody Somewhere, for which he just received a well deserved Emmy nomination. This was one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. I laughed, I cried, and adored his narration. His dedication to his art while mainly existing with acting roles as “snarky gay man” were delightful. The audiobook felt as though he was next to me, relaying his stories, rather than him reading a book.
August 8, 2025
I thought I would love this book, but then I went ahead and ADORED it. Love ya Jeff. You’ve got us all gigglin
September 13, 2025
Somebody Somewhere is one of my favorite shows of all time so I wasn’t surprised when I loved this memoir. Jeff Hiller is hilarious and so relatable! I thank him for commuting with me to work this week. This was a wonderful and very inspiring memoir.
November 28, 2025
This book was delightful. Bright, funny. I loved his view of the world.
Read
August 28, 2025very much enjoyed this listening experience. laughed out loud multiple times.
August 29, 2025
This book was absolutely delightful!
July 8, 2025
"There is no such thing as 'friendly' football. Someone will always yell at you for not catching the ball, letting the other team get the ball, or singing the score to Dreamgirls while doing what you imagine is the original choreography on the 30 yard line."
I need to stop saying this about every celebrity memoir I read because it's going to start losing its meaning, but -- I really, really loved Jeff Hiller's book. Though we're 10+ years apart and grew up in different parts of the country, there was so much about his journey as both a young and adult gay man that hit home for me. Even within our own community, it can be hard not to fit the mold in every single way, and Jeff writes with such heart and wit about his own journey in this regard. Though I'm not in the comedy world, there's also great insight in these chapters about sticking with what you love and finding the funny in it all. Plus I really enjoyed his perspective on religion and how he incorporates a world that can feel hostile to queers into his own life.
I don't think you need to be familiar with Jeff or his work to enjoy this book!
I need to stop saying this about every celebrity memoir I read because it's going to start losing its meaning, but -- I really, really loved Jeff Hiller's book. Though we're 10+ years apart and grew up in different parts of the country, there was so much about his journey as both a young and adult gay man that hit home for me. Even within our own community, it can be hard not to fit the mold in every single way, and Jeff writes with such heart and wit about his own journey in this regard. Though I'm not in the comedy world, there's also great insight in these chapters about sticking with what you love and finding the funny in it all. Plus I really enjoyed his perspective on religion and how he incorporates a world that can feel hostile to queers into his own life.
I don't think you need to be familiar with Jeff or his work to enjoy this book!
August 28, 2025
This book is perfect for me right now. Funny and deep at times. If you love R Eric Thomas, you'd probably love this book too.
June 22, 2025
Unexpectedly good and fun read. Read because of a challenge. Didn’t watch the shows with the guy, but enjoyed the book a lot.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,148 reviews