The Upper Hand: Mastering Persuasion and Getting What You Want with the Science of Social Engineering

by Abbie Maroño

Learn to get what you want from others and build stronger relationships by replacing coercive tactics with this social science-backed playbook for winning trust. Having leverage—in the form of intelligence, charm, beauty, money, status, or insider knowledge—often gives you an advantage in an interaction. When it doesn’t, or when you don’t have any, people often turn to tricks and schemes that run the risk of damaging personal relationships. In The Upper Hand human behavioral scientist and sought-after speaker, advisor, and coach Dr. Abbie Maroño shows you how to influence people and situations in your favor with skill and integrity—and without the need for leverage or coercion. Based on principles of prosocial engineering, Dr. Abbie shows you how to build and maintain trust by gaining an understanding of the psychological mechanisms underpinning human decision making. She presents five key truths about the complexity of human behavior that you can count on one hand to give you the upper we are our brains we are driven to survive (by any means necessary) we want to connect and cooperate we have a mind-body feedback loop we want to protect our self-identity By grasping how these truths are at play—and learning to see how they show up differently based on cultural contexts, individual differences, and situational dynamics—you’ll be primed to tailor an informed approach to influencing outcomes when it matters most. Personal connections are key to getting what we want—whether moving up in our careers, attracting customers, or maintaining romantic partnerships. The Upper Hand is your indispensable guide to building trust and cooperation on your way to getting what you want, whatever it may be.

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 10, 2025

Reviews

[Kassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Abbie speak at the 2025 Orlando ICAC conference and was very impressed with her presentation. She and the Secret Service Agent mentioned in her book gave a phenomenal speech regarding influence and pro social engineering in law enforcement investigations. I bought each of their books as soon as I left the room. I also got the opportunity to chat with Dr. Abbie and Agent Beeler afterwards and they were very receptive and kind. I love supporting good people, especially those who positively contribute to the greater good. This book was a great explanation of the underlying psychology of influence and how to utilize it in different areas of life.