Disrupted Journey: Walking with Your Loved One Through Chronic Pain and Illness

by Nate Brooks

Whether you’re a parent, spouse, child, or friend, when your loved one’s life is wracked by illness and pain, your life changes too. This honest, deeply personal book helps caregivers and companions of hurting people to process their own upended lives, relationships, and spiritual walk—while keeping their gaze on the comfort and hope offered by Scripture.

Endorsements“You are not alone in this journey. Here is someone in solidarity who ‘gets it,’ who offers hard-earned wisdom, and who is willing to be vulnerable so he might help others. May this book strengthen many, and may it equip well-meaning ministers and friends who want to better understand the realities of family life for those with chronic pain.”

—Kelly M. Kapic, Author, Embodied A Theological Meditation on Pain and Suffering

“Real. Relatable. Compassionate. Full of hope. If you or someone you love has experienced chronic pain or illness, the pages of this book will not only leave you feeling seen and less alone but also bolster your faith and relationship with very real hope amidst very real struggles.”

—Jeff and Sarah Walton, Authors, Together Through the Biblical Encouragements for Your Marriage When Life Hurts

“Nate Brooks helps caregivers navigate the complicated world of vicarious suffering, walking through the pain of the present and discovering the future joy that will make it all worthwhile.”

—Dave Deuel, Senior Research Fellow Emeritus, Joni Eareckson Tada Disability Research Center

“Nate Brooks knows what it is to love and suffer alongside a spouse with chronic pain. This grippingly honest, faithful book is a compassionate companion for anyone who is walking this difficult path. It is grounded in a faith that acknowledges profound sorrow and clings to resilient hope while offering strength and solace in Jesus.”

—Darby A. Strickland, Faculty and Counselor, Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

Genres: Counselling, Theology, Nonfiction, Christian

128 pages, Paperback

Published March 19, 2025

Reviews

[Ched Spellman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a special book. I read the whole thing the day it arrived (around 100pp), and will carry some of its insights for the long haul. It gives a glimpse into the world of chronic pain (for those who’ve never experienced this kind of blight) and can also give a sense of recognition (for those in this without others who “get it”).

Warmly recommended.

[Rachel Winkler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very well-written, compassionate book for those who have a loved one suffering from chronic pain and/or illness. This little book is a healthy balance of biblical truth and compassion for the difficulties of a life affected by a very tangible effect of the fall. This is a short, easy, practical read and is painfully realistic yet encouraging in pressing on for as long as the Lord ordains in loving our family well when life looks nothing like any of us planned or wanted. Praise God for when one day He will make all things new, and pain and sickness will be no more!

[Joseph Hussung · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Brooks writes a beautiful and gut-wrenching account of what it is like to love someone struggling with chronic illness and pain. But he doesn't leave us with the experience. He systematically points us toward a better hope, without minimizing the suffering in this world.

"Your road may be dark and confusing and take you far beyond the end of your own. strength. But don't give up too soon. One day you'll hear in your ears the words of your Savior, who, like you, is a survivor of deep trouble during his days on earth: "Well done, good and faithful servant."

If you are looking for a book to help you journey through this experience, or if you are helping someone going through this, you should certainly pick up this book. It will help you to love your spouse or loved one more completely, and love your savior more deeply.

[Chrissy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good resource for caregivers for those with chronic illness! This book is not theory - it’s written by someone whose wife has chronic pain - and I felt so “seen” as he talked about life in a family with chronic disease. His chapter on those in the Bible who wrestled with God’s character while suffering was helpful.

[Rae Tosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve read several Christian books on chronic illness and suffering, but this is the first I’ve read that’s specifically written to the caregivers, family, and friends of the chronically ill individual. I’m really happy to see something targeted at that audience, and Disrupted Journey does it well, managing to be both challenging and encouraging to its readers.

Disrupted Journey is also a valuable resource for anyone in ministry, as the insight it gives can help equip churches to better love and walk alongside families in these situations.

[Lynette Karg · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this years ago when I first recognized that what we were dealing with in the case of my daughter was chronic illness/pain. I had to figure out many of these things the hard way, and yet it was helpful to see that I was not the only one to have done so. This is especially helpful for those walking alongside the sufferer.

[Frode · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a bit personal for me. The author and I are on similar paths but with differing circumstances. He is much younger, and his wife’s difficulties are not shared by my wife. However, our roads are somewhat parallel.

There is wisdom in this little book. God doesn’t call us to understand Him; He calls us to faith. Promises for the future do not change present circumstances. There is no going back. Well meaning people can be hurtful since they don’t understand. Relationships are very important. Once on the new path, circles of friendship change. If it’s your wife, you did sign up for it; remember when you vowed, “For better or for worse; in sickness and in health.” There are more, but read it for yourself to glean what you can.

Mr. Brooks is a Christian as is his wife. Their lives are tough. Their Plan A life changed to Plan B and has taken a few more turns along the way. He does not bewail the situation or complain. He is straightforward in his comments and observations. Some applied to me, and some did not. As stated above, our roads are only similar and don’t replicate one another. He uses some Scripture, and he likes Tolkien and quotes from The Lord of the Rings.

Who should read the book? My opinion is that this book is for anyone who has a close relationship with either a family member or a very good friend who suffers from chronic illness, regular pain, loss of mobility and or motor control, some serious mental decline, or any other condition that changes life substantially. It describes some of the challenges and some of the solutions. Mr. Brooks is a grief counselor and professor by trade. He says viewing a situation from the 500 foot level is quite different from seeing it at ground level. He has seen both and is qualified to write about it

[Katelyn Friesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

In “Disrupted Journey” by Nate Brooks, you are taken through a journey of relation and encouragement without diminishing the harsh reality of what happens when a family unit is wrecked havoc with chronic illness. Through short stories from Scripture, Christian literature, as well as some people through the ages caring for their loved ones, you will want to cry and smile all at once with the empathy and encouragement shown without diminishing the harsh reality of illness that persists. I am unaware of many Christian resources out there that speaks directly to the caregiver, especially in such a grace filled, Gospel saturated way. Although the book is intended for caregivers, I believe too, that friends, family, and even the chronic illness sufferer themselves, would benefit from reading this short book to better familiar yourself with the struggles the caregiver and their family struggle with. This is a 5 star book in my opinion, and easy enough for the fatigue that often overcomes yet also deep enough to leave you wanting more when you’re done. My favorite part of the book had to be appendix A where Nate talks to the unbeliever, and shares the Gospel so simply, gently, and non aggressively, yet encouraging them with timeless truths for their ears to hear in their time of suffering. So pick up a copy for your unbelieving friends affected by illness as well, as his kind of gentle empathy will encourage them as well, and you can be guaranteed that the Gospel message is shared. I highly recommend you preorder this book and maybe even in bulk to give away, and be encouraged like me and my family have.

[Adam Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How do we love God when he in his providence has allowed life-altering pain and illness into our loved one’s life? And how do we love our loved one well when they are wrestling with their whole world being turned upside down?"

In this book, Nate Brooks shares the fruit of his honest wrestling with these questions. With perceptive reflections from his own experience and wise meditations on biblical truths, he points us to the real hope we find in Jesus. Throughout the book, there is clear compassion and a genuine sense of solidarity for fellow sufferers, as well as helpful insights for those looking on from the outside. The whole discussion is rooted in the realities of everyday life this side of glory. There are some encouraging examples from the lives of other believers too - it was especially good to read about BB Warfield's experiences of caring for his unwell wife. And those experiences led to probably my favourite quote of the book:

"Greatness isn’t counted by God as numbers or influence. It’s counted as being faithful to however he has decided to shape your life. He is the potter, and you’re the clay. Sometimes greatness looks like changing a bedpan. Sometimes greatness looks like wheeling a wheelchair. Sometimes greatness looks like listening to your loved one process what has befallen them yet again. Those unseen moments are holy before God, and he sees in them true greatness."

[Anne Dryburgh · Rating 5 out of 5]

People in the West typically consider happiness, comfort, health, and good relationships to be normal in life. When someone’s experience does not fit the mould, it can add to the pain and isolation that they are already suffering.
In Disrupted Journey: Walking with Your Loved One Through Chronic Pain and Illness, Nate Brooks shares in deeply honest ways about his journey with his wife’s chronic pain. Brooks helpfully covers our expectations of life, disappointments, navigating life changes, and how to handle suffering. When tackling how to handle suffering, he speaks honestly about his struggles and how he experiences his faith. He also gives helpful examples from biblical characters and the importance of friendships with wise people.
This short book is excellent for people experiencing unexpected pain and turmoil and searching for light and hope for the unknown path ahead.

[Rachel Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gentle companion to those whose loved ones are walking through life with chronic illness/ pain. Nate’s opening chapters allow those closely tied to another’s suffering a place to be seen and validated as co-sufferers. He does not offer easy answers, but he does give practical advice on a variety of topics as well as encouragement for weary hearts. I highly recommend this book to those whose loved ones have chronic pain/ illness as well as to pastors and leaders in the church who want to gain insight into this frequently un-discussed area of suffering.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope you never need a book like this one — a book written for someone who is living with a loved one enduring chronic pain or illness. But if you do, I believe you will find Nate Brooks to be a faithful guide on the journey. The book is short, deep, and refreshingly honest, filled with reliable theological insights and practical wisdom. It’s the kind of book I wish I had in my hands twenty years ago. Every pastor should buy a case of these to hand out as they inevitably minister to church members who travel this road.

[Brad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I find rating someone’s story or journey, especially when it involves chronic pain or hardship, uninviting. Someone’s story is their story, and I think it’s above rating. My only quibble with the book is that the author spends a lot of time chiding people who say the wrong thing to those suffering. As a sufferer, I know what it’s like to receive unhelpful comments, yet I think in most cases, the intentions of the heart are good. I think humans mostly need to learn to be better at giving people the benefit of the doubt.

[Vic · Rating 5 out of 5]

A compassionate, Christ centred book, written by someone with the ‘accent’ of having lived and breathed a life impacted by the chronic pain and suffering of a loved one. Who understands what it is like for ill health to be the ‘climate’ you live in, rather than a ‘season’ that will pass.
If this is your situation, or that of those you walk alongside, I would recommend a read.

[DiAnn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Biblical insight and wisdom into the fire of chronic pain and illness. A must read for all who are experiencing a disrupted journey.

[Jason Mccool · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was really good. He knows that of which he speaks.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in an afternoon. I cried because he gets it- this derailed life. There is hope here and good theology. I will be passing it on.