I didn’t expect it to be this fast: a published book of Rob Doyle. I preordered ‘Autobibliography’ on April 24th. (Swift Press has interesting taste.) I bought the Tolka Journal No. 1 to get a fix between ‘Threshold’ and this, but when I started the essay in that journal I couldn’t go past two sentences. I was not ready for Robert yet. And with ‘Autobibliography’ I was tentative after fixing upon the thought that, today is when I get to start a new Rob Doyle book. And then I started to read and was calmed. Agitation at, will I be able to focus?, dissipates.
It has an introduction that feels very much like the introduction to ‘But Beautiful,’ but slightly more vague. “What is literature?” As a 20 year old lover of books (with the literature education of a two year long lover of books) vs. a 20 year old person uncaring for jazz I am primed for two different things. This is more vague because 52 books is 52 topics, whereas 7-odd jazz musicians are all jazz baby. Though Rob, please tell me about some of your relationship with literature. (Also recently found a dead person’s haul of Desmond Hogan novels at my second hand book local, so excited to dig in.)
I must say, the first piece has great observations and visceral summations, but it must go on! How many paragraphs are cut for each column in editing? Less is more I suppose. But I can’t well start a conversation on these things when I hit blank page... though I haven’t read 90% of the authors, let alone the books.
I read ‘Antwerp’ and ‘But Beautiful’ in preparation for this. I read ‘A Rebours’ because of the Double Happys. I thought less about the Double Happys during Huysmans, but Bolaño and Dyer are easily connected with Rob Doyle. I’m afraid of how prolific Doyle’s tastes or recommendations are through Instagram n shit. I’m afraid because this mass of literature loved by someone who is my modern literary hero puts the threat of diverging from my own path of reading into that of another person. That way my intellectual world is only sloppy seconds. I would never be taken seriously. I would never finish writing a novel or even truly reading one because I would forever be thinking about Robert Doyle. Luckily I have 150 books lined up all of which have manifested reliant on my human experience, the only crossover is a Camus, or Marilynne Robinson or two. Yet I start to write a bookshopping list as I write.(True crime, eh? Sounds like you have found the more interesting of the lot.)
I think it goes without saying that the books I haven’t read of these 52 I will be convinced I need to look at them. But I was pissed off at ‘Antwerp.’ Perhaps as a sorbet after the main of Bolaño’s published works it’d be a curious bookend. But as an entree it reeks like rotten oysters, I’m almost too sick to allow the next course over. What is the perfect chaser to ‘Antwerp’? Perhaps Rob’s short musings on its dream-like reality. “An exploded fragmentary glimpse” at a condensed part of not-quite Chile. I don’t think this helps the book’s wider existence but it is a thoughtful and rewarding take nonetheless.
Oh shit, Rob observes this friend with an author relationship on the very next page. How meta this all is. Recurring columns collated is likely the second most intimate published thing to read beside a good autobiography. I’m guessing some of this extra material is extracted from that which was cut/less relevant at the time.
Oh man, I already wanted to read ‘Notes from Underground.’ Damn me and Rob have a similar relationship to books. I stopped reading for ‘Call of Duty.’ I stopped playing video games for school, I barely read then, aside from favourites, non-fiction on drama, and the odd captivating beautiful op-shop materialisations—thank you ‘Lanark.’ But then I started playing video games after school... in fact, spent a whole year on nothing but games! My movie watching was surrounded by these depressions and self-loathing that such mindless multiplayer experiences develop. And so I was 19 and I watched a movie “based on a novel” while being between depressive pits of empty battle royale and asymmetrical horror games. And it so happened that ‘The Collector’ by John Fowles sat on a shelf in this building. I read it avidly, critically, ultimately disappointed, but oh? Storytelling with intent and hopefully meaning, that is the stuff of life. Only instant gratification gets in the way when hard work is involved. I was glad to remember then, that I love reading.
6 Goodreads reviews at the time of starting this read. I assumed I’d be the several hundredth by now. As lost in the internet void as is close to private...
I can’t work more than twenty hours a week without perpetuating that depression alike the one I got from more recent ‘Call of Duty’ phases. In fact, I should’ve brought it up as these two fed each other beautifully. Washing dishes until my feet are sore from standing, and washing dishes for four hours longer, sometimes walking home through this city of hills, arriving an hour later, long after my phone died, dregs of energy spent swiping through tinder, wondering how likely or sane it’d be to find someone less than a kilometre away, and keen, and with my back dry with six hours of sweat I would find myself sitting on my bed, on which the controller was ready, instinctively switching it on, spending minutes trying to stand up and have a shower. The day after would be recovery from such an evening, but no less sad, and much emptier.
I think the ‘But Beautiful’ one could use another 50 words more than any so far. Which feels like a warm up to the lovely Geoff-Dyer-as-man piece following it. That’s nice. I do want to counter this idea that Dyer’s book makes you want to listen to music. Aside from the fact that I did listen to it, I was ecstatic with that representation of jazz that I got from this book. And, though good jazz can be enjoyable, and apparently tell a great story too, the silent life of ‘But Beautiful’s words on paper are a wholly different product than the art form it is inspired by.
Fuck me. The ‘Valis’ piece at once moved me (“I myself can no longer read his novels, [touching nostalgia]”) and then made me very anxious around the 300th word.
Spending most of what’s left after working 20 hours buying Norman Mailer’s ‘Advertisements for Myself’ when you’ve never read the man is a waste. But second hand books are urgently waiting for this money.
Bro. I had exactly the same experience when the end of my first screenplay was in sight. (I think Rob has also written about this somewhere else, different context?—‘Here Are the Young Men’?) Fears of terminal illness mainly. Sudden death. An annoying heart like mine coming into play. Now that the script is finished in some degree, it is nearly the same with that film’s production. Because, what if I’m the only one that understands how it might be realised as something worth watching?
Read over an evening, a day, and this morning. First time doing such a thing since at least some lockdown reading. Likely one of the only times I haven’t watched a movie between any of its pages (this could be a lie as I watched 3 movies the same day I started reading it...). Out of lockdown reading must’ve been ‘Normal People’ that I read as devotedly. Thinking about opinions on, savouring a good book. Because, from the outside, it looks like I got ‘Autobibliography’ out of the way, in fact I breathed it, and thought on it, and wrote because of it and about it. Doing that over a week in fits and starts would have been a seperate experience. Sometimes ‘Autobibliography’ didn’t breath back, its lung closing as I too held my breath until the next gasp. It doesn’t recede below my expectations of Doyle. And as a whole product it is rewarding and as lovely. As lovely a human thing and outpouring with love for many things.
I think I count as one of the people flirted with over social media. *blushs*
Read ‘Childish Things’ after, very relatable and human video game history and fascinations ranging from nostalgia to present day revelment.
(Also surprised at this observation of modern literature being very much influenced by social media stuff. The intimate personality narrating various things. Strange. It certainly is a nice kind of interesting rather than a normal fiction narrative!)