Getting Over Tom

by Abigail Thomas

Welcome to the delightful array of smart and sassy women who valiantly -- and hilariously -- struggle with the eternal battle of the sexes in this gutsy collection of stories. Child brides, misguided newlyweds, and lusty middle-aged grandmothers are just a few of the characters Abigail Thomas brings to life in these wise and witty stories about women of all ages trying to deal with love for men, with their families, and with their own lot in life. Thomas presents interesting there's the girl in "Sisters" who hates her younger sibling for (among other things) her precise memory. In "Seeing Things," Maude, who "wants to be tan the whole year round," and whose "great ambition is to be whistled at on the street," is told by her younger sister, "You look ridiculous smoking with the chicken pox." And then there are the four stories about Buddy and Virginia, who have to drop out of school and get married after she gets pregnant. From sibling rivalry to marital strife, Thomas uncovers the pain, the poignancy, and the belief in love that lie in the hearts of her heroines.

Genres: Fiction, Short Stories, Chick Lit

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1994

Reviews

[Kristina Coop-a-Loop · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no idea where this book, Getting Over Tom: Stories by Abigail Thomas, came from. It’s been sitting on my book shelf for years and since my goal this year is to read as many of my older acquisitions as I can, I decided: now’s the time. This book is slender with large print so I didn’t have high expectations for it. It’s actually surprisingly good. The stories are engrossing and well-written.

The book is divided into three parts which represents three points of view: a child, a young adult/teenager, and an adult. There is a cycle to the stories in that the first story, “Sisters,” is a girl talking about her sister and her mother. In part three, the stories are from the mother’s point of view, but from different times in her life. In “Sisters,” I got the impression of a woman who seemed too desperate for men, so desperate to have a man in her life that she neglected her children. Later, I get to know her and understand her. The stories as a whole are more about the relationships between men and women (or boys and girls) than female friendship. Although the story “1957” is very good and deals primarily with the friendship between the narrator, Marjorie, and her weird friend Loretta. Marjorie is concerned with looking cool and fitting in with the popular kids but her friend Loretta doesn’t care about that and sometimes embarrasses Marjorie. When they are at Loretta’s house trying to perfect the art of lighting matches (so they look cool when they light up in from of guys), Marjorie is telling Loretta there is nothing cool about lighting a match on your teeth: “Loretta is my best friend, but I know I’m going to need a new one soon” (32).

Part Two is probably my least favorite. All the stories in this section concern Buddy and Virginia. She got pregnant after having sex for the first time (this is 1959) and drops out of college to marry Buddy. Well, she doesn’t drop out so much as get kicked out. The Dean of her (presumably) all women’s college gave her two weeks to move out of the dorm and forbad her from dining with the girls (“What did she think? You get pregnant from using somebody’s fork?” 83). She also informed Virginia that her educational career was over. Buddy, on the other hand, is not kicked out of college. He leaves voluntarily to get a job, but plans to continue his pre-med career. Buddy’s education, as Virginia wryly notes, is not over. While I sympathize with Virginia’s lack of choices, I also found her irritating because she seems to be fine with dropping out of college and being pregnant at 19. She thinks taking care of a baby will be better than homework and pities Buddy’s former girlfriend for wanting to go to secretarial school and have a job. Virginia thinks she is more adult and has a higher status as a woman because she has a husband and will soon be a mother. She’s also very superstitious and mentions various objects or actions that will bring bad or good luck. Her attitude is perhaps not uncommon for her generation (hell, it’s probably not uncommon now) but I found it grating because she’s so opposite of me. But she’s lucky in that Buddy is grown-up for his age and takes responsibility for her and the baby. He’s also kind and calm, even though he does struggle with the idea that his life, at the age of 20, is now settled. Virginia I think does as well, but her thoughts are more subtle. She worries that Buddy doesn’t love her and that she may not be a good mother (because of how she handles watching a friend’s toddler for the afternoon).

The stories in part three also concern men and women, but the women are older, more experienced. They’ve learned their lessons and choose more wisely…sometimes. Lots of well-written sentences here too, such as Louise describing her former lover’s voice: “His voice is soft and low and full of places to lie down. Once upon a time Louise could stretch out full length in Henry Gold’s voice” (187).

Getting Over Tom: Stories is an unexpected treat. I hadn’t expected it to be so well-written and enjoyable. I don’t know why I had that impression, possibly because I can’t remember ever wanting to read it. The stories are deceptively simple, but there’s a lot going on beneath the surface.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great stories. The second to last one nearly made me cry...having to push a former love of your life away because you know on a practical level that they're all wrong for you. Abigail Thomas has a great voice, and some of the moments she describes will make you gasp because they're so subtle, but you know you've lived them yourself.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Abigail Thomas is a fantastic writer. I love the way she uses language to draw you in and make you care.

[Anne Green · Rating 3 out of 5]

Described as a collection of stories about women at various stages of their lives grappling with relationship problems (usually involving mothers or men), this had instant appeal for me. I liked the author's voice, she has a rather quirky style that suits these types of stories. Some however worked better than others. I found the ones involving older women, rather than younger, held more authenticity (perhaps because I'm an older woman myself!).

For me there were two that stood out - "Modern Love" about a woman trying to reconcile her attraction to a man who she knows isn't right for her, but who she can't quite seem to give up and "A Tooth for Every Child" about a middle aged woman's fling with a much younger man. The last one in particular had such a ring of truth about it that I couldn't help but wonder if the author was drawing on personal experience. Whether she was or not, it was brilliant - she managed to evoke total sympathy for both the woman and the young man who despite the somewhat predictable ending, you couldn't help hoping might end up together even while knowing as the author does, such things can't happen. (Except maybe in celebrity land and even then they all fall down eventually.)

[Darla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book because I was doing exactly what the title says.

[Abby Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author has written memoirs and essays and having read them I found this collection of short stories very enjoyable.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/3.5 stars
Some stories were worth 4 stars. I enjoyed these stories and Thomas is excellent at writing fiction. I've been on an Abigail Thomas kick (I think because her books are so compact and easy to get through so after liking the first book I read by her I decided to just read a whole bunch; I have one more short story collection to go) and her fiction is just as good, if not better, than her non-fiction. That said, I think I've just read too many short stories recently where sex and love and relationships between men and women are at the forefront and I am craving something else. In a novel, sex and romantic relationships are usually part of something larger but when sex and love are the main point of story after story it gets a bit tiring, especially story after story you read all in a row. I loved the first two stories of this collection because they were about sisters and families. They were great! I would have gladly read an entire collection of stories about sisters, which I think just says more about me and what I've been reading lately short story wise than about Thomas' collection. But in any event, if you're looking for a fast read of some enjoyable short stories I do recommend this collection.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

It wasn’t my favorite, but it wasn’t the worst book I’ve read either. I couldn’t find a middle ground to say I really liked it or even enjoyed reading it—it was just okay.

I can appreciate the thought process behind the story, the plot, and the themes it aimed to explore, but I don’t think they were executed as well as they could have been. While the ideas had potential, the delivery felt underwhelming, leaving me disconnected from the narrative. It was a decent effort, but it didn’t fully come together for me.

[Becky J · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up because I was listening to the audiobook of 'What Comes Next and How to Like It' and I was not enjoying it at all. When I looked at reviews of the author's work I thought I might be missing something if I didn't give her another try - and I was right. I really enjoyed this one. Still haven't finished 'What Comes Next' but I will keep trying.

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, a LOT of people have said that they have no idea where this book came from on their shelves, and I am one of them! I don't think I bought it, I can't remember anyone giving it to me...but I liked it. The language (especially the way people of color were described - not slurs, but also not really appropriate now) felt dated, but the observations about relationships were insightful.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Usually I don’t get completely through a book of short stories. I’ll read one that isn’t that great and then I put the book down, like it done me wrong.
But not so with Abigail Thomas. The beginning stories are quiet and subtle and then they ramp up as they go along and the last story Getting over Tom is priceless.

[Lois · Rating 4 out of 5]

Offbeat little stories with quirky characters. I think if I hadn't already read more by this author, this would make me want to.

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, bombastic, sharp. Every female character seems to blend together though, and no story seemed to truly reach that upper echelon of amazing short stories.

[Stacy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've enjoyed other books by Ms. Thomas but I could not get into this one. It felt like an uncomfortable chore to read it.

[Elizabeth Marro · Rating 5 out of 5]

n “Modern Love,” one of the stories from this collection, the narrator Connie says, “I have lived long enough not to interrupt a silence.” It is one of many deceptively simple sentences that made me stop reading for a breath or two. The writing and voices are remarkable in these accounts of early adolescence, premature marriage, and the moment when one is “pushing down the tall grasses near the land of menopause.” The twelve stories are divided into three sections. Each marks the threshold of a pivotal stage in a woman’s life and each is full of sharp, funny, often uncomfortably real characters. Thomas plumbs these beginnings for all they are worth. In “Sisters” she dives into the murk of sibling rivalry and a restless mother’s sexuality from the vantage point of a thirteen-year-old who senses danger she can’t articulate. In “Man and Wife,” Virginia, the nineteen-year-old pregnant wife of a boy she’s only known for months, confronts anger which is “a brand new emotion now. It is like a kitchen appliance that arrived without instructions. I know it does something, but I don’t know how to work it yet.” Coming upon these stories is like coming upon a forgotten mirror in the attic: after the shock of recognition one appreciates the hard-won grace reflected there. Adams was fifty-four when Getting Over Tom was published. Since then, she has written one novel, another collection of stories, three memoirs, and a book about writing.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because I have indulged myself in Abigail Thomas’ writing during the past two months, I know these short stories, published in 1994, were written before her husband’s accident and death and her daughter’s breast cancer. And because her memoir writings reveal her darkest moments and joyful insights, I feel I know Abigail Thomas and now am a bit protective of her.

These short stories are about mothers, daughters, girlfriends, and the men in their lives. All the daring and bravado and brashness and poor choices reflected in the stories is tempered for me knowing that the author faced appalling personal events and loss a few years later. The women we meet in 1957 and going forward are not shy and retiring or baking cookies for after school treats. “Once again our mother is disabled by love…My mother likes the bad boys.” They are risk takers, looking for romance, and maybe not thinking about paying the bills. “The woman is double-parked through life.” In “Getting Over Tom” Abigail Thomas crushes any stereotypes I had about the women of the 50’s and 60’s being reticent and restrained, thinking the women of the 60’s and 70’s did all the work of striving for personal choice. “Getting over Tom” tells the stories of women living life on their terms even if it means a lonelier life, or one that others don’t understand.

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book by Abigail Thomas. Here's an example of her style:
Bunny's problems are all inside Bunny's head. She gets terrible pictures in her mind. For instance, there is a NO PARKING sign loose on a pole near where her mother works. It looks to Bunny as if it might go sailing off one day, and she has imagined it flying through the air and splitting her mother's skull exactly in two, like a meat cleaver. Every time Bunny has passed the sign she has meant to remind her mother to be careful crossing Front Street on a windy day, but she has always forgotten. Bunny thinks she might be almost like a murderer for not having warned her mother.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fabulous Abigal Thomas book!!!! Only women of a certain age will understand this book and perhaps women of a certain background. AT once funny and poignant, the love stories and stories of women and their children and their bad decisions when raising children can raise some ghosts or give you a sense of solidarity. The insights into aging and loss are dead on.

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

It followed no story. it was just a bucnch of info on characters that never developed. it was a waste of a read. i think about all the great stories waiting to be published. and this is whats out there? finished it in a couple hours. i needed a quick read for a flight. disappointing

[Farah · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was only in the last 50 pages or so that the book finally became mildly interesting, making the first 150 or so pages a tad torturous to read. No, torturous is a strong word. Mundane. Drab. Blah.

[Joshua]

The crap you'll read to get on the same page as your high school girlfriend....

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some stories are so lucid and clear and perfect it seems like a joke.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Thomas's style. Terrific short stories.

[Nikki · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like the way she writes, but the stories didn't grab me.

[Khanson919 · Rating 3 out of 5]

[Kelley Clink · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny, feminist, delightful. A 24hr. read.

[Barbara Coe · Rating 3 out of 5]

easy and entertaining.

[Keri Murcray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked a few of the stories in this collection - Modern Love, A Tooth for Every Child and my favorite, Buddy's Best Work.

[Fernanda Bueno · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad.