Lube Me Up with Fry Grease

by Phrique

Shakes, fries, and videotape!

Journey into a horrible land of make-believe where familiar drive-thru characters, female orgasms, & other fictional-totally-nonexistent things are on the menu. Where Extra Crispy is King but what is the Kernel hiding in his southern plantation walls besides his herbs & spices?
Two star-crossed lovers won't let crumbs like shackles, mercenaries, nor sexy chickens get in their special sauce. Will they ever smell freedom again before being overcome by the vapors?

143 pages, Paperback

Published October 22, 2024

About the author

Phrique /frēk/ noun.

1. An exhibition, a strange deviation from nature. Adorable, Evil.

2. An extremely new and extremely YOUNG splatterpunk/horror/bizarro author with stories to tell. They’re kinda scary, kinda graphic, kinda campy, kinda stupid, kinda random. Kinda like him.

3. Phrique is a Pisces who enjoys crying and taking baths. His hobbies include angering the townspeople and outliving his enemies. His favorite color is purple & his favorite state is "your mom." Everything frightens him. Who are you people and who let you in here? Unhand me.

He can be found escaping his responsibilities here:

@books.by.phrique on Instagram

Phrique on Goodreads

phrique@icloud dot com

Reviews

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phrique has done it again! I'm learning so much about myself through his writing. There is something about learning what kinks you don't have through reading that is really special.

Phrique must continue to release content because his voice in the horror (and horror smut?) comedy is unparalleled and unmatched. He fills a void that needs filling desperately (hehe). I told y'all with GotD to watch out for Splatter Zaddy and I will continue to say it!

[Asher Dark · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Robble Robble"

( What did I just read? This was hilarious and had me saying WcWhat a few times. I think Ham-burglar "Ham-Daddy" was my favorite character. I found myself literally laughing out loud. Poor Ronald and his nips! The fact that the author refused to use "dirty words" and instead used words that had me wanting to throw my phone at the ridiculous hilarity of it all was one of my favorite things about this little monstrosity. I was hoping for a little more Birdie and Wendy (bruh why) but maybe in the next one? If that's possible after the "wave". Please do not stop writing these mmkay.)

"NOT THE GUMDROP BUTTONS" 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭💀

[Veronica ☠️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all love Kernal Sander's fried chicken. It's finger lickin good! It's tasty and makes you feel full. But what if it made you feel more? What if your sexual tendencies were turned on at high speed? What IS the special ingredient that's making everyone so..excited? Follow Ronald, Wendy, and other beloved fast food characters on a hunt for freedom, sex, and fry grease!

This was absolutely hilarious! If you know Phriques sense of humour then you know what you're getting yourself into! Every page will make you laugh, and might even make you excited. This was so much fun and it's open to a second book which I'm looking forward too! This is how you do a cliffhanger! The intermission was a nice touch also. Hilarious, campy, xxx, and fun! This is a must read!

[minas_elessar · Rating 5 out of 5]

What the clucking McFuck did I just read?

This is definitely not for the faint of heart 😂 I was CACKLING, i say, I was cackling, from the table of contents on. Also some of my favorite cover art ever.

[William Bevill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was rolling with laughter reading this. I was able to preview the stories a while ago before Phrique published it on one of his social media, and I knew this had to be a book: and lo and behold, a signed copy is now part of my collection (including the fry bookmark and stickers, of course). I was really cracking up like a WcDonald egg the further along I got as Phrique weaves in some hilarious comments on the world of fast food, especially Birdie and a big green Grimacing creature we all know and (love?) from our childhoods. Single-serve coffee creamer packet, please! This has to be one of the most entertaining ways to read porn and, well, it's to be experienced. I can't get the Kernel's voice echoing a famous Looney Tunes chicken out of my head "I say, I say, I say..."

I'd put the cover art up on my wall as a poster. I swear. This is a WcPackage deal. I love Phrique's humor and writing style, and everything flows smoother than a broken ice cream machine... wait a minute... A full five stars here.

I literally cannot wait for #2 in the series and I'm honking my horn at the drive-thru and yelling at some poor kid making $12 an hour who's getting my fries and shake ready demanding Phrique release a sequel. Hurry, before my apple pie gets cold, please.

[Asia Guerrero · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outrageous. Sickening. Sexy. Absolutely recommend! 🤪 10000000 tubes of lube outta 10. 💦

[Mindy Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was absolutely disgusting and unhinged. Five stars. I will not be taking any questions.

[Ricky's Rockin' Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review! 📖 🍟

Lube Me Up With Fry Grease by Phrique

Imagine all the American fast food mascots and characters in a gnarly sexploitation novella. This book was exactly what the brilliant cover and title promise-- a knee slappin', "oh my gosh, I can't believe what I'm reading", good time.

Phrique writes with a playful self-awareness that brings a lusty charm to this abomination. I appreciated the astute, abrupt, and askew alliteration which made me laugh as well as the crazy placeholder words for body parts. The sex is ever present, but even more so are the laughs. This thing is bizarre in all the right ways.

I would recommend you surprise your friends and family by reading aloud a chapter or two to them. The more the merrier. Make it a Try Not To Laugh challenge for the most fun possible.

The novella doesn't overstay its welcome. Each chapter is hilariously titled and moves briskly. The finger lickin' good grease is still left on your fingers when you finish the story, and there is a promising future for this franchise. There seems to be a lot more meat juice to savor from future installments.

And shout-out to the Ham-Burglar, the best character. ROBBLE ROBBLE

You bet I'm loving it.

@books.by.phrique

#lubemeupwithfrygrease #phrique #sexploitation #parody #mcdonalds #rockandrollmcdonalds
#KFC #fingerlickingood #wendys #burgerking #Carlsjr

[Bow · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me start off by saying that I believe that sometimes a 1 star review can help someone find their next favorite book or author.

If you have a crude sense of humor, you may love this book and this author. I appreciate his original writing style and that he puts his full sense of humor out there on the page with no reservations.

I thought I would love this and find it hilarious, but, unfortunately, it wasn't for me. I would have DNF-d it but it is such a short read I just pushed through.

I thought about not sharing my review because it's a 1 star, but reviews are just people's subjective opinions. Just cause I didn't enjoy this book doesn't mean that someone else won't find it absolutely hysterical. This book is an acquired taste and definitely not for everyone. I think it would make for a fun/bizarre graphic novel actually!

My thoughts while reading:
- wtf did I just read?!
- how many brain cells did I just lose?
- ok that was pretty funny
- ew..wtf..gross...🤢
- i hope i can find someone to gift this book to that will love it. 🤡🍟

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

5*, no notes, worth every WcSecond.

[Spooky Little Book Nerd · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my first splatterpunk erotica parody. I didn’t know those genres could be combined and now I need more of this combination. 😂 It was so over the top and outrageously ridiculous. I loved it! I kept thinking it couldn’t get any more bazaar and then I’d turn the page and there would be more craziness. It was an absolute blast.

My favorite is how the author uses random fast food themed words in the place of all the dirty words. Be prepared for some really disturbing and hilarious imagery involving some of your favorite fast food icons.

Phrique has such a unique sense of humor. His wit and creativity take center stage in both this book and his other book, Gig of the Damned. I’d highly recommend both if you like splatterpunk.

[Camille Danciu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this so much. The hilarity of the story and the unique way the Phrique fuses his comedy with witty level smut is unmatched. Highly suggest this wild little book. Brace yourself!

[Jodie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book absolutely made me laugh and shudder lol if you like a good parody with quick whit and some splashes of what am I reading this is it. I cannot wait for the second book to come.

[Mercedes Lomibao · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everyday I stray further and further from the light 🙃😂

[Biblio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Robble Robble. A wild greasy ride you don’t want to miss. Phrique’s mind is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. Hope you’re hungry. Time to eat up babe. *napkins not included*

[Elizabeth Charles · Rating 2 out of 5]

I would have given it three stars if it wasn't for the poop fetish

[Sarah Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny with its parodic purple prose. Also bawdy, dare I even say ribald. And occasionally gory and sometimes literally quite shitty. This is the definition of a dirty book and I love it for that.

[Jordynn Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

What in the world did I just read?! The puns were top tier hilarious!! I’m not sure I could tell you what happened but I also couldn’t stop from reading this entire book in one sitting. 😂

[Marc Ruvolo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phrique’s books don’t make laugh, they make CACKLE.
He’s the Beethoven (Beyonce?) of Bizarro because his books are always orchestrated into the perfect, preening, puss-filled package. The cover and inside art, the asides, the forwards and afterwards, sorry and thank you’s are all in sync with the gag. LUBE ME UP WITH FRY GREASE takes absurdity and gross-out fun(ny) to new heights. It’s meta, it breaks the fourth wall, and the clever wordplay is on point. So many brand new words! Ronald, Wendy, Kernel, Birdie, Carl Jr., it’s all a pop-culture barf blender set on stun(ning). Excited to see if that old mermaid gets to bury her face in Wendy’s [Chili Bowl]…

[Sarah DeRosa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Get ready for a gory spin on the erotic, bizarre, and semi-uncomfortable (in a childhood/fast-food- icons-ruined sort of way) tale that you didn't know you needed. Here's the thing, you truly do need it. I am over the freakin' moon after reading this spicy little novella about everyone's favorite capitalistic clown and his star-crossed lover, Wendy. Yes, THEE Wendy and her [bodacious Baconators].
Phrique did it all in a way that totally blindsided me. I laughed, I was horrified, I gagged...multiple times..., and yes - I schmexualized every single one of those characters.
Speaking of which, the reader can expect their distinct voices to jump right off the page along with some truly *unique* appetites and sensory elements. Prepare for the most repulsive descriptions of acts, scents, and characters that will leave one both cackling and curling their lip in disgust. Truly love this book!

[Ashley Hana · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Robble."
[This was an insanely unhinged read. And I'm probably going to get high and read this again at some point. It's so unhinged it just becomes absolutely hilarious. Safe to say I am left baffled.]

[Addison Houser · Rating 5 out of 5]

very interesting lol

[Shelby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bizarro, splatterpunk erotica-parody novella involving some of your favorite fast food characters. Had me legitimately cackling and going what the McEff is going on many a times. The food puns!!! I loved every moment of it.

5/5🌶️

[Courtney · Rating 5 out of 5]

For my 200th book read in 2025 I wanted to cackle then entire time & this book made me laugh so hard.

It’s wild, it’s hilarious, it’s stupid, but it’s also the best. If you just want to go on a fun ride with fast food restaurant characters, then this is the book for you. It’s a quick pace read and will have you going”what?” & “bahahahahaha” the entire time.