Nonmonogamy and Defying a Paradigm: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

by Marla Schreiber

Exploring nonmonogamy can require us to shift our worldview and deconstruct what we’ve been taught about relationship dynamics. However, it is difficult to defy paradigms while also existing within them—even as we strive to unlearn established norms, we can find ourselves unintentionally reproducing the principles of paradigms like mononormativity in our nonmonogamous relationships. In a society where monogamy is established as normal and reinforced through legal systems and cultural etiquette, this is not surprising.




By examining prevalent cultural norms and values, and presenting real-life examples of mononormativity’s impact, Marla Schreiber encourages readers to consider their own preconceptions and guides them towards effectively defying mononormativity and other intersecting paradigms.

Genres: Relationships, Polyamory

96 pages, Paperback

Published August 1, 2025

About the author

Marla Schreiber (they/them) is a white, Queer, gender-defiant, neuro-fabulous therapist (MSW/RSW), educator, and author who has been practising polyamory since 2005. Based in Toronto, Canada, they offer education, training, and consultation for those practising, or interested in understanding nonmonogamy.

In collaboration with Thornapple Press, Marla is excited to release "Nonmonogamy and Defying a Paradigm" as an addition to the "More Than Two Essentials Guide". This book reflects on the impact of mononormativity, and other social paradigms on nonmonogamous relationships (they also had the pleasure of narrating the audiobook).

Reviews

[Asia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Marla's book describes the difficulties of being in nonmonogamous relationships when living in a society where monogamy is the norm. And it does so in a surprisingly simple way. It's short, easy and entertaining to read, especially thanks to the vivid comparisons. It delivers a powerful message to nonmonogamous people: you are not alone, everyone makes mistakes, (almost?) everyone gets overwhelmed by jealousy at times, and challenging the norm is difficult, but it's worth it!
And I think it's something that nonmonogamous people really need to hear sometimes (by which I actually mean that I needed this).

[Basti · Rating 4 out of 5]

A short but very educated dive into nonmonogamy. This could be a very good start/first step to read about nonmonogamy. If you already read the usuals like polysecure or more than two (..) its a nice addition and has a more personal touch, that also hits more if you know Marla from IG.
Also with its layout and few pages, its most certainly a no brainer to buy and just read. The worst that can happen is that you already know the concepts and theories and just have a nice reminder of some of them, in the best way you learn the basics about nonmonogamy in a really digestive way and feel motivated to keep questioning the mononormative paradigm, even if you dont want to be/are nonmonogamous.