Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes... Everything

by Juli Slattery

The purpose of our sexuality is not self-discovery but to understand God’s love.We tend to have pockets of our lives dominated by the flesh and driven by cultural wisdom. For many, sexuality is one of those pockets. Christians are confused about God’s views on sex and intimacy. In today’s culture, we struggle to grasp the meaning or purpose of our sexuality. We don't know how to make sense of our temptation, shame, brokenness, longings, or desires. What is more, Christian churches and families are divided in the nuances of sexuality, neglecting Jesus’ most important call to be unified as His body.Recognized expert in biblical sexuality Dr. Juli Slattery brings her years of experience, biblical knowledge, and passion for the Lord in applying the call of Christians to surrender their views, questions, and pain to the God who changes everything. Surrendered Sexuality provides a clear, biblical understanding of the significance of our sexuality and the transformational power of Christ. Readers discover how Jesus gave His life not primarily to change behavior, but to renew our identity—which is rooted in our union with Christ, not our wounds, feelings, desires, past or present sins, or purity.We’re living amid tremendous cultural confusion and pain. But we will not be able to offer life and hope without the fire of God’s love first passing through us. Surrendered Sexuality provides the biblical wisdom, help, and encouragement we all need.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian

201 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 1, 2025

Reviews

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful centering perspective on our inherent sexuality and how God wants to reveal himself to us in ALL aspects of our lives including our sexuality and whatever barriers or struggles we have within that. Learning to accept God's love in even the vulnerable spaces.

[Danita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having read and listened to Dr. Juli Slattery's stuff for years, I didn't find this book particularly unique or new. However, there was solid, convicting wisdom in these pages. She writes with biblical clarity and nuanced sensitivity. The chapters were on surrendered identity, surrendered thinking, surrendered sin, surrendered brokenness, surrendered idols, surrendered wisdom, and surrendered to love. There's something good here for every believer of any age or role... and perhaps for some, even a paradigm shift on sexuality.

[Brandi Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I’d had this book as a college student! Full RTC.

[Graham Gaines · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a pretty good book, though it's not my favorite on the topic. Dr Slattery seems to be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of nouthetic/Biblical counseling and fully integrated psychology and Christian principles. For me, it felt like whiplash when sometimes her application points would seem lacking in my opinion. But then she'd have a robust understanding of trauma and nuanced treatment of certain conversations within this topic. It felt like whiplash going between those ends of the spectrum.

Overall, I think this book will help a lot of people. It helped me have a realization about my personal prayer life. But I also don't think it's the best book on the subject, even though there's a lot of good here

[Isaiah Riddle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very good book. It touches on issues that are so often avoided in the western church and approaches them with care and love. Would highly recommend and is definitely one that I will reread.

[Janelle Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Was hesitant initially because it seemed like the topics covered didn’t entirely seem related to my personal experiences BUT by the end I was glad I read it! Loved the last two chapters especially…

[Elise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Writing style: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Engagement:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Content: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Purpose:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Value:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Overall: 4.2/5

[Rachel Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m part of an early reader team for this book, and man, this book is both truth-filled and grace-filled. Dr Juli is very clear at the beginning that this book is intended for a Christian audience and might therefore feel offensive to those who don’t claim to be Christians (and, quite frankly, even for some who do claim to be Christians and have a different sexual ethic).

Dr Juli does not shy away from hard topics, but meets them with biblical truth and compassion. She acknowledges gray areas and encourages Christians to seek God’s will over difficult questions and to live with understanding towards those who understand God’s will differently for their own lives (in regards to “gray areas” such as how to interact with family members/ weddings/ etc).

I really loved Dr Juli’s reminder that we ALL need Christ - both the “rule-followers” and the “rule-breakers” because it’s not about changing our behavior, it’s about encouraging one another to know Jesus more deeply. She reminds us that “our sexual longings and desires are to have an eternal echo of the call to be in covenant with God.” She states, “God is not in competition with these desires but is the completion of them.”

Her chapter on “Surrendered Brokenness” was so very gentle, acknowledging that we all are affected to varying degrees by sexual brokenness - some through our own choices and some because the choice was taken away from us. She speaks into trauma and a pathway to healing, taking into account both the importance of a therapist as well as a healthy community.

She had a very practical chapter that addressed Christian FAQs and how to listen for God’s will for you. She acknowledged that devoted Christians sometimes come to differing conclusions about what faithfully living for God looks like and gives guidelines but not always direct answers (unless it is something specifically addressed by Scripture).

This was a helpful read and gave me a lot to think about. I’m sure I will be referencing it in the future and will probably go through the book with friends to get their feedback as well.

[Tori Boone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to any Christian seeking a compassionate but truthful examination of how their beliefs impact their sexuality. Dr. Slattery is 100% dedicated to teaching the truth of the Bible but is also kind and thoughtful in her approach and application. This book is great for both singles and marrieds as it is about how surrendering your sexuality to God impacts everything. There are application exercises, Bible verses to study and discussion questions at the end of each chapter to be used for personal or group reflection.

[Grace Catherine Beckham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was wonderful! I really appreciated Slattery's big-picture perspective and the emphasis she placed on laying the foundations of human sexuality and what it was made for. She addresses idols and sin patterns in a winsome way while also keeping the fundamental thing central: relationship with Jesus whose perfect Love casts out fear and shame. I would definitely read/study this book with a friend or students, and am excited to spend more time working through the journaling and reflection exercises at the end of each chapter.

A couple quotes for a window in:
"God cares about far more than your sexual behavior. As a Christian, surrender isn’t ultimately about what we let go of, but about how much of God we are ready to embrace. It is the choice and journey of laying it all down as Jesus modeled for us in His anguish as He faced the cross with the words, 'Not my will, Father, but Yours be done in my life.' Following His example, we surrender with a heart that says, 'Jesus, I trust You to define what sex should be. I trust You to forgive and cleanse me. I trust You to make me whole in my brokenness. I trust Your goodness in what You both give and take away. I trust You with my past, my present, and my future.' Our surrender to God is both a onetime decision, and an ongoing battle to walk out that decision."

"Jesus doesn’t just speak into your sex life. He has also profoundly spoken into your identity. He literally wants to transform how you understand what it means to be 'you.'"

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exactly the kind of content I have come to expect for Dr. Slattery! This book is filled with truth and there are times when she states it plainly and without beating around the bush. Yet the book is filled with grace and an understanding of how painful and sensitive these topics can be. Her heart for the Lord and for her reader comes through. Her commitment to the Word of God, her sensitivity to His leading and her years of study mean that as she approaches different issues she often is able to go deeper than the rule-focused, behavioral questions we too often get stuck on. She helps us go deeper to the heart of the matter in a way that can lead to redemption and lasting change.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

FANTASTIC. I learned a lot from this book. It’s not just good for married individuals, but also single people, those who are dating, or engaged. This book tackles several different topics within sexuality, including some cultural issues, boundaries in relationships, and past hurt. I appreciated the Scriptural references Juli included and her explanations throughout the book on her perspective. She explained her thought process well throughout the book. Highly recommend!

[Bethany Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

The true theme of this book is surrendering ourselves, our whole selves, to God. Juli shows not only how this relates to sexual issues, but to every sin, hurt, and piece of our identity. I just finished it and feel like I need to start again. Read it with humility and the Lord will use this book to gently convict, while showing a depth of His love we so rarely tap into.

[Will Parsons · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this book. Slattery shares a bit about the lives of people she's counseled through sexual trauma and struggles, which makes the theology much more relevant to real life. This is a strong foundation for those who want a better theology of sexuality than the hostile one provided by the purity culture. Would recommend. 8.5/10

[Tongjal Wungakha · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book felt so empowering to say no to sexual temptations around me during the time of reading. That is due to its being grounded in the doctrines of the Bible, I believe. This book is a holistic, truthful, and helpful treatment of its subject. Many thanks to Juli Slattery and everyone else involved in its creation!

[Riley Newcomer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how every chapter helped address the complex nature of our sexuality and that the final chapter was oriented towards surrendering everything to the love of God! Read this with a group and that setting to read this was so helpful!

[Lauren Nishi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing, solid teaching on all issues related to sexuality, our Christian response, marriage v singleness, spiritual maturity, etc. I love her material!

[Daniel Small · Rating 4 out of 5]

A decent introduction for thinking about Christian ethics around sexuality.

[Raeleen Gutierrez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great resource on Christianity and sexuality. How sexuality is a way God reveals Himself to us.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always, a fantastic book. Half of it underlined. I could read this 10x more times. Life changing as every Juli Slattery book has been in my life.

[Abigail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Juli never misses, that’s all I gotta say.

[Sydney Repak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super personal and practical…YES!