To Hell With Hallmark

by Brad Ricks

Welcome to Hallmark, Vermont, the setting for every cliched Christmas dream. Idyllic and picturesque, it's where real Christmas magic happens.

Here, a lonely librarian bumps into the man of her dreams and is swept away into a whirlwind romance. A big city girl runs into her high school sweetheart and rekindles a forgotten spark. A secret prince escapes the pressures of royalty - and finds his true love.

Except this year, something sinister has infected Hallmark's Christmas magic, turning Christmas morning dreams into Christmas Eve nightmares.

Hell has come to Hallmark!

Genres: Horror, Christmas, Fantasy, Short Stories, Audiobook, Fiction, Holiday

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 15, 2024

Reviews

[The Belladonna · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Screams and wails of agony reverberate around Hallmark. The town erupts into crazed chaos.”

I meeeean…. this was…. 🤣🤪. Put it under the Horror Humor genre. It’s 12 short stories of complete silliness. You can tell the author had a blast writing this book!

[Milt Theo · Rating 5 out of 5]

"To Hell With Hallmark" takes the concept of a Hallmark Christmas movie VERY seriously, and destroys it, gleefully, painfully, in several different horrific ways, from the inside! I'm still laughing my head off with the imaginative twists of every story, and the cheerfully awful 'happy endings'...

'Hallmark' is the name of those movies on the Hallmark Channel, a 24-hour cable TV service. For anyone unfamiliar with Hallmark movies, perhaps a joke might help. Here it goes:

- What has three locations, fifteen characters and one plot?
- 689 Hallmark Christmas movies.

They're essentially uncreative, sentimentalist carbage, usually with career women from the big city coming to a small town, discovering romance, and realizing their wrong life choices.

"To Hell With Hallmark" contains ten short Christmas tales, one epilogue, and a nasty little poem in the end. Each story picks up a Hallmark theme and turns it inside out, going for the most disturbing interpretation possible. All stories are set in the fictional town of Hallmark, VT, "the town where it snows every Christmas Eve at exactly the right moment"! The perfect place to celebrate Christmas (the town is obsessed with it); but something is wrong with Hallmark.

For example, in "Dimples for the Holidays," librarian Jenny stumbles on Glenn; has she found romance? She has indeed. But Glenn has found so much more... Same in "Santa's Roadside Assistant": Bryce meets Yvonne, the owner of Moonlight Towing, during the festivities; he thinks romance blooms; but Yvonne has a tale to tell... The stories are interrelated (Yvonne appears in other tales too). What was inspired, however, was to allow one story to develop in the background of the others: "Gingerbread Cookie Throwdown" was utterly hilarious, and haunts the rest of the tales too. Career women can be found in "No Place More Special," with its cruel ending; golddiggers come up in "Christmas with His Parents," a morally horrifying story that was great fun to read; and, to Yvonne's surprise, even princes visit Hallmark ("A Prince in Hallmark"). There's also some LBQT+ representation, in "The Girl Who Hates Christmas," a story so hilariously nasty I'd prefer a Hallmark movie (#not). Rock music stars in "Merry Rock-Mas," with a nod to Alien; and a couple of stories actually celebrate Christmas ("A Christmas Carol" and "Oh, Christmas Tree") in unexpected ways (especially the second, when Hallmark residents burn the town Christmas Tree). Finally, the epilogue ("Friends in a Diner") fulfills the promise of the book's title - Hallmark Goes to Hell.

If you're after a short horror book for 'the holidays', or a plain palate cleanser between heavy-duty horror books, "To Hell With Hallmark" is the perfect choice: a collection that's dark, smart, funny, horrific, mocking, even delightfully offensive. Go for it!

[AmBerGUR · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very fast paced and so entertaining.
Some of the stories are fun and so satisfying.

[Dawn Shea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting take on Christmas horror. Multiple short stories that really made sure that Hallmark went to hell. I did enjoy how each story tied together and the incorporating of the four horsemen. The twist on A Christmas Carol was great! It was entertaining and kept me reading. Perfect for a little light Christmas reading 😈🎄

[Amanda Ruzsa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this collection. All of the stories are kind of interwoven, taking place in the festive freaky town of Hallmark. Many of the characters are vividly portrayed and they will feel like someone you’ve known for years. You’ll feel like you, too, live in Hallmark. The stories that stood out the most for me were CHRISTMAS WITH HIS PARENTS, A PRINCE IN HALLMARK, THE GIRL WHO HATES CHRISTMAS, and NO PLACE MORE SPECIAL. I wholeheartedly recommend this if you’re looking for an immersive holiday horror you’ll devour.

[KaysKillerReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel was the perfect bridge between Halloween horror and those cheesy Christmas Hallmark movies we either love... or love to hate. What a ridiculously fun read! I couldn’t put it down. The mini-stories were so well-written, and I loved how they all intertwined within the charming town of Hallmark, VT. You know, that picture-perfect Christmas town from the movies... but with a side of murder and mayhem. Perfection.

I had such a blast with this book! It’s everything I want in a Christmas novel: a healthy dose of Hallmark-style cheesiness paired with absolute horror. It’s a page-turner, totally unputdownable, and unlike anything I’ve read before. Honestly, it was a sleigh ride of pure holiday chaos, and I was here for every second of it.

Brad Ricks, if you’re listening: I need more! A Christmas sequel, yes, but why stop there? Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween… I’m ready for all the chaos you can dream up. Can’t wait to see what you’ve got for us next!

[Paige Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christmas Horror at its finest! I had such a great time reading this collection of stories. All of these stories intertwine in the town of Hallmark. Yeah, that Hallmark. However, these stories aren’t your typical happy Hallmark ending…

I enjoyed every story and the illustrations were a nicely added touch. The Girl Who Hates Christmas was definitely my favorite of the bunch!

P.S. Even if you HATE Christmas, you’ll love this collection. I promise you. 🤭

[Ashli Ferguson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was.. interesting to say the least. Lol I didn’t know it was multiple stories in one - I enjoyed some of them
More than others!

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one was just so much fun! I love how innocently horrifying the stories are. The gingerbread men are a classic! Five stars!!

[Carly Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’ve ever watched a Hallmark Christmas movie and thought, this could use a little more chaos, some dark humor, and maybe a few horror elements, then To Hell with Hallmark is your new favorite holiday read. Brad Ricks serves up ten delightfully twisted Christmas tales, an epilogue that ties things together, and one last little poem that is as nasty as it is brilliant.

This collection is the perfect mix of smart, funny, dark, and outright offensive (in the best way). Each story brings something different—mocking the traditional holiday tropes, throwing in some horror, and never taking itself too seriously. Ricks’ humor reminds me of Christopher Moore or Tim Dorsey, so if you like those authors, I think you’ll love his style.

Steve Barnes’ narration is spot-on. He absolutely nails the sarcasm, humor, and eerie moments, making the audiobook even more immersive. His delivery adds another layer of fun, making this the perfect holiday listen.

🎄 Tropes & Vibes:
😂 Dark humor & satire
🩸 Christmas horror & chaos
🎁 Twisted holiday cheer
🔥 Wickedly smart & sharp
💀 A little offensive (and I loved it)
📖 Short story perfection

If you’re looking for something totally different this holiday season, grab this book. It’s hilarious, dark, and full of surprises. Five stars all the way!

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Short stories all set in the town of Hallmark. Taking the plot of all Hallmark movies and twisting them into horror was fantastic. I laughed so much at this one-the gingerbread men are the best. This one will be an annual holiday read for sure!

[Dez Nemec · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so much fun! It was everything I wanted it to be. Every tired Hallmark trope twisted into a horror story.

Loved it!

[Sincenobodyasked__ · Rating 5 out of 5]

This whole book had me cracking up! It’s fun to joke about how all the Hallmark movies have the exact same plot, and yet there are so many of them. But to see the way these storylines take such an unsuspecting twist? I absolutely loved it! haha All the short stories were fairly quick to read through and we got just enough information to know the gist of which storyline it was. I also love how all of the characters and short stories tied together in some way. It made the overall book that much more interesting in having them all be focused on different characters, but yet they all knew each other in some way. It made the ending that much more satisfying to read too. They are a little dark and graphic too so if you don’t like the horror genre in any kind of way then I don’t recommend picking this up. If you do enjoy it, however, then I highly recommend enjoying this hallmark parody. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Heads up/Good to Know: Graphic violence, Magic, Supernatural, Short Stories,

[Mickey · Rating 4 out of 5]

You know all those cheesy Christmas movies? Did you know they're all based on the same place? No? Well, now you do. The town is called Hallmark and its the perfect town, especially at Christmas. It always snows, magic happens, everyone is happy, and nothing goes wrong. Until this year, when things aren't quite as perfect as they are in the movies.

This was a collection of short stories that takes the Hallmark Christmas movies and makes them better, by adding bloodshed. From gingerbread cookies at war, vampires and werewolves, children being sacrificed... this book has it all. A must-read for those of us who hate the cheesy movies.

[C.I.I. Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is just a good time. If you, like me, find yourself unable to avoid the saccharin overload of Hallmark movies every holiday season, and need some sort of counterbalance to all that sweetness, look no further. To Hell with Hallmark is a gory spoof on those overdone tropes, complete with Christmas miracles, moral lessons, and more than a few eviscerated folks that find themselves on the naughty list. You are sure to have a blast with this read.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

The very last story alone deserves 5 stars. This was a fun book of short stories unlike any other. My mom wore the hallmark channel out so when I saw this in a store I had to support the author. Zero regrets. Some stories are better than others but all were good to some degree.

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

What strange, entertaining stories these were 😂 I did like how they all took place at the same place and were intertwined!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was actually super fun!

[Jeremy Fowler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was delightfully evil. Like a Christmas themed Trick R Treat!

[Tanzia Trujillo · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️
I picked a great book to be my 100th read of the year! This book was so fun and gruesome. I really enjoyed how each story was so cute and cozy then hits a 180 right in the middle to horror and gore. This is gonna have to be a yearly seasonal read for me. 🎄

[Shelly Willard · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fun Christmas themed horror anthology. If you aren’t a fan of hallmark movies this is great. Some stories are better than others than others though, I loved the first one with the librarian and the one with the tree lighting at the end.

[Courtney Marcus-Deguire · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who actively hates Hallmark movies but loves Christmas and Halloween, this was the PERFECT book to get me in the Christmas Spirit. Mr. Ricks transported me to a winter wonderland in every short story, where I was suddenly becoming that woman who wanted a happy ending, to all of a sudden remembering "oh wait I'm reading a horror story". Every tale kept me sucked in and the ending was wrapped up perfectly with a little bow. If you're a spooky person who still loves Christmas this is THE BOOK for you.

[ScarlettAnomalyReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I saw this on Facebook, and I am one of those non Christmasy people, and i am def not a Hallmark girlie, nothing wrong with being either of those, its just not for me.

So during these months i usually read some of my old favorite horror books, but found this instead, and the title had me buying the book before i even knew what it was about.

No regrets on that impulse purchase, because this was easily 5 stars for me.
The book follows the town of Hallmark, where things are not as quaint, cute and perfect as you would expect with a town named like that.
Each story has its own central characters, but the background all ties together, with the chaos that starts erupting all over town.

I cannot wait for you guys to figure out Yvonne and Gary Lee, I screamed, i had a gut feeling, and i LOVED IT.

I loved this whole thing, i cant pick my favorite, its one big story..

I'm about to make a comment, this reminds me of one of my favorite books, called Goblin by Josh Malerman, how the stories weave together into one big blow out, with all the characters weve met along the way.

This book absolutely sings.

I cant say enough about this book, absolutely fabulous, and one of my top Holiday reads now.

I actually convinced my bff to go buy it as well haha, so saying i recommend this one is a understatement.

[Jennybrown · Rating 4 out of 5]

To Hell with Hallmark is a collection of interconnected horror shorts that gleefully dismantles the sweet, predictable tropes of Hallmark-style holiday movies and rebuilds them as something far darker, sharper, and much more fun. Each story plays with familiar festive setups, like small towns, holiday romances, big-city skeptics, and twists them into clever, sinister versions of themselves.
 
The dark humor was a standout for me; the way Brad Ricks subverts holiday-movie clichés is both wickedly funny and satisfyingly creepy. I also loved that the stories weren’t just thrown together—they’re subtly interconnected, weaving characters and moments from one piece into another in a way that made the whole book feel cohesive and deliberate.

What impressed me most is how much plot and personality Ricks fits into such short pieces. Even the briefest stories managed to deliver a clear arc and surprisingly effective character building. Despite the variety, the pacing never lags, and the book stays engaging from start to finish.

It was such a quick, addictive read that I ended up finishing it in one sitting. If you enjoy horror with a humorous edge, or you like seeing holiday tropes turned deliciously upside-down, this collection is a great time.

[Janalyn, the blind reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

To Hell With Hallmark by David Ricks, Is a bizarre set of stories that begin like most hallmark stories do but do not end that way. The local librarian loves to read and drink wine but would prefer to have someone with her for Christmas and this year her dream just may come true. Every year the town of Hallmark has a gingerbread bake off battle to the finish that title couldn’t be more true than this year‘s bake off. I want to say when these stories started I really thought they started out as potential romances that did not at all end up that way and yet every time it shocked me. My favorite was the tow truck driver because OMG they had a lot in common until they didn’t . This is a great group of stories and it seems as they go on they just get better I really enjoyed the stories love anthologies and short story collections and this one was an awesome one. I think the greatest thing about this anthology is all the Christmas events mentioned in the first story or either mentioned or take place in the subsequent stories like there is a bake off a Christmas rock concert the candlelight sing-along and much much more. There’s a rockstar second chance Kinda sorta LOL romance that happens it’s just a great great anthology.

[M.J. Mars · Rating 5 out of 5]

To Hell With Hallmark by Brad Ricks is a must for everyone looking to stock up on Christmas horror! This is a brilliant series of shorts set in the town of Hallmark, with each tale beginning like a typical Hallmark movie but soon descending into violence. The descriptions of the main players and their surroundings are deliciously facetious, and the balance between cosy comfort and wicked horror is brilliantly mastered. I felt in turns completely relaxed and ready for festive comforts, before suddenly enjoying the twists and gore as the carnage unfolds! I loved that there were nods throughout to previous characters, some appearing more than a couple of times, and the final answer to why Hallmark is the way it is was extremely satisfying and more than a little heart-wrenching.
I could absolutely see this being a Tales From the Crypt/Twilight Zone type anthology movie, but with an evil elf or Krampus doing the piece-to-cameras to introduce each story. 5 blood-soaked candy canes out of 5 from me!

[Rebel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brad Ricks takes everything you love (or love to hate) about Hallmark Christmas movies and smashes it together with a nightmare in To Hell With Hallmark. This isn’t your usual cozy romance—something dark has crept into the snow-covered streets of Hallmark, Vermont, and this year’s Christmas magic comes with a side of terror.

Ricks brilliantly plays with the familiar tropes—lonely librarians finding love, big-city women rediscovering their small-town roots, secret princes looking for a normal life—only to twist them into something sinister. The result is a story that lulls you into a false sense of festive security before yanking the rug out from under you.

If you love horror that subverts expectations, or if you’ve ever wished for a little more chaos in your holiday stories, To Hell With Hallmark is a wickedly fun, darkly thrilling read. Forget the sugar-sweet endings—this Christmas, expect nightmares instead of mistletoe.

[Barb (Boxermommyreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Now I don't mind a traditional Hallmark Christmas movie or two this time a year, but I also love my Christmas horror and think overall, it's an overlooked niche at Christmastime. So, when I ran across this book and saw it was available on KU, I grabbed it and immediately devoured it.

This book had it all - serial killers, werewolves, murderous gingerbread men and vampires. It's told through a connection of interwoven short stories all set in Hallmark, Vermont at Christmas time. My favorite stories were "Dimples for the Holidays," "Santa's Roadside Assistant," and "Oh, Christmas Tree." While the stories aren't extremely gory, they also aren't for people looking for kisses under the mistletoe and good cheer.

This is probably the closest I've come to giving an anthology a 5-star rating and I will definitely be seeking out more from this author.

[Alicia Toothman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I tore through this collection of Christmas horror stories in one sitting! It was just so fun, I couldn’t put it down!

One thing I loved about these stories was that they’re all connected, following the same timeline. The events in each follow one after another. They aren’t all just random Christmas stories thrown together. I thought that added another dash of Christmas Spirit (horror style).

My favorite story was The Girl Who Hates Christmas! I thought it was an odd little story with a twist you *might* expect but not *actually* expect. If that makes sense?

Friends at a Diner was a great story to wrap up the collection!

The rendition of ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas was amazing! It flowed perfectly and had a terror-fueled vibe!

Overall, I had a great time with this collection!

[J. Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just what I hoped and more. Campy, dark humor horror lovingly warping the classic Hallmark films. Drawing on the Spoon River Anthology framework, this is a collection of short stories, one feeding into the next, focusing in on particular characters in the town of Hallmark. There is gore and horror, but it's brief and over the top-- I'm a big weenie, very particular about how far I'll baby step towards horror and this was perfection. Funny, engaging, original.

I don't want to say too much or give anything away. I've heard there may be a hardback "limited edition" coming and I may have to upgrade from the paperback. Reading this could become a new holiday tradition.

I'm never going to look at a gingerbread man quite the same way, thank you Mr. Ricks!