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381 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 20, 2025
Blue doesn’t look at me like he knows I'm lonely and confused and just a little bit desperate to belong. He doesn't make me feel like I need to smile more and ramble less and hide everything that makes me, me, behind thick steel walls because who I really am is too dull or introverted or anxious. He doesn't look like he's trying to find a way to extricate himself from my company. He listens when I talk and he laughs like I'm funny and he smiles like he's happy I'm around. I feel seen and heard and wanted, actually truly wanted. I feel like I might actually be worth keeping around. 🥹
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I want to lie in bed and talk about nicknames and hobbies and favorite books. I want whispered words of desire and fingertips that move slowly enough to count every freckle sprinkled across pale white skin. I want late mornings tangled up in strong, lithe limbs and my cheek resting on a broad chest in the dark. I want to let myself believe that love just might be real and that not everyone in the world is going to hurt me. I want to be open and honest and truthful. I want to forget my past and find a future where I belong to someone, mind and body and heart and soul. I want that someone to be Ethan.