Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America's Gay Restaurants

by Erik Piepenburg

From a New York Times journalist, a culinary tour of gay restaurants—their history, and how they evolved as a space of safety and celebration for the LGBTQ+ community—full of joy, sex, sorrow, activism, and nostalgia.

Dining Out explores how gay people came of age, came out, and fought for their rights not just in gay bars or the streets, but in restaurants. From cruisy urban cafeterias of the 1920s to mom-and-pop diners that fed the Stonewall generation to the intersectional hotspots of the early 21st century. Using archival material, original reporting and interviews, and first-person accounts, Erik Piepenburg explores how LGBTQ restaurants shaped and continue to shape generations of gay Americans.

Through the eyes of a reporter and the stomach of a hungry gay man, Dining Out examines the rise, impact and legacies of the nation's gay restaurants past, present, and future, connecting meals with memories. Hamburger Mary’s, Florent, a suburban Denny’s queered by Piepenburg explores how these and many other gay restaurants, coffee shops, diners, and unconventional eateries have charted queer placemaking and changed the modern LGBTQ civil rights movement for the better.  

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT, History, Food, Audiobook, Gay

312 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 3, 2025

Reviews

[Harry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved reading this. While, naturally, it is informative, it also has a ton of heart and personality. There are personal stories woven into the chapters that give these locations depth and weight. Not only that, you can tell the author is passionate about this subject and really went deep into his research. Especially in today’s political climate, books like these are more important than ever. This will fill you up, and leave you asking for seconds.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book Review: Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America’s Gay Restaurants by Erik Piepenburg

Overview
Erik Piepenburg’s Dining Out is a poignant and vibrant exploration of America’s gay restaurants as spaces of community, resistance, and cultural memory. Blending personal narrative with sharp socio-political analysis, Piepenburg chronicles how these establishments served as sanctuaries during pivotal moments—from the pre-Stonewall era through the AIDS crisis to today’s evolving LGBTQ+ landscape. The book is both a celebration of resilience and a critical examination of the forces that threaten these spaces, including gentrification and commercialization.

Strengths

-Nostalgia Meets Insight: Piepenburg balances intimate anecdotes (like late-night meals at The Melrose) with thoughtful research, making the history engaging without sacrificing depth.
-Intersectional Perspective: Chapters like Bloodroot Revolution and Myth America highlight how queer dining spaces intersected with feminism, race, and class, offering a nuanced portrait of inclusivity and conflict.
-Practical Resources: The appended list of historic restaurants and linked references provides valuable resources for readers interested in further exploration.

Critiques
While the book excels in emotional resonance, some sections could benefit from deeper analysis of economic pressures shaping these spaces. The focus on urban hubs also leaves room for future works to explore rural or suburban queer dining cultures.

How I would describe this book:

- A love letter to the gay restaurants that nourished bodies and souls through decades of defiance.
- Heartbreaking, joyous, and revolutionary—Piepenburg’s Dining Out is essential reading for anyone who believes in the power of queer spaces.
- From AIDS-era solidarity to today’s fight for survival, this book proves why these restaurants matter—one meal at a time.

Standout Chapters

-The Elder Stateswoman: Profiles matriarchal figures who shaped safe havens.
-Bread and Butt: Examines the politics of pleasure and public space.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for the advance review copy. Piepenburg’s work is a vital addition to LGBTQ+ history, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to engage with its stories.

Audience Recommendation
Ideal for scholars of queer studies, hospitality professionals, and anyone who’s ever found family in a diner booth.

Final Rating: ★★★★½ (4.5/5)
A feast of memory and meaning—best devoured with a side of activism.

[Matt Chisling (MattyandtheBooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone hungry? You will be after reading about NYT journalist Erik Piepenburg's foray into restaurants of all shapes, sizes, and cuisines, in his new book, DINING OUT. What do the restaurants have in common? They're gay, of course!

A gay restaurant, you ask? What even is--

Well, exactly. For generations, queer people have gathered visibly in bars, clubs, beaches, gyms. But they've also been, ya know, eating food all this time. Piepenburg takes on a vastly underexplored subgenre of queer cultural studies (restaurants, remember?) and guides them out of the closet in this work. What kind of food is often served? Who frequents these spots? Are any of them even left? And why, oh why, has Drag Brunch become so popular?

It's an interdisciplinary topic, and Piepenburg approaches it appropriately: There's a mix of primary and secondary research, there's a sociological, anthropological, and deeply personal analyses of these joints. Thanks to great firsthand interviews and meals across the country, Piepenburg's work is rich and rewarding, and very accessible for readers interested in this topic.

What makes this collection of essays so fun (and a little saucy, mind you!) is the way that they all feel quite different from each other. Some are rather historic. Some are idealistic. Some are heartbreaking. Some rely on folklore and others are held up by the brick buildings that still serve gay people meals today. And Piepenburg's own experience as a gay man who has lived (and loved) through many lives, as so many gay men have and so many others never got to, infuse this historical, cultural work with both weight and a wink. Bringing together a single book about this vast topic requires flexing through different narrative styles. The collection, therefore, is kaleidoscopic. And delicious.

Come hungry, read, leave satisfied. It's a simple enough approach. It works.

DINING OUT is out now. Thanks to Grand Central Publishing for my gifted copy!

[Aleshia Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Waaaaiiiittt I really liked this!!!! The author took on a very ambitious goal writing this niche book and executed it incredibly well. He covered such a breadth of eras and cities and also managed to make it about way more than just gay men (which was the biggest surprise to me). Love! Would super recommend. Will be going to orphan andy’s asap.

[Emily Konitzer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t know that I enjoyed reading this as it was fairly meandering and probably didn’t need to be book length but I was brought to tears several times by the beauty and necessity of community.

[Wendi Manning · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a great book! It started off with a trip down memory lane. The author talked about The Melrose restaurant, a place that I loved and spent many nights at, enjoying waffles and scrambled eggs.

I loved how this was written, it covered history but not in a heavy way. The AIDS years are naturally included and it’s both hard to read and comforting to read about the restaurants that gave sustenance to the bodies and the souls.

I loved this and will be recommending it to a lot of people I know.

Thanks NetGalley for the ARC, all opinions are my own.

[Aaron Ambrose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tasty and nutritious. I'm lucky to call Erik a friend, and his wit and taste have always been a pleasure. As I read this book, his voice comes through so distinctly - measured and responsible, like a good journalist, but also highly personal, cheeky and always empathetic. This book is a gem. Thinking and writing about gay restaurants seems like such a big hole in the lgbt-sphere, but like many big holes you don't really notice it until somebody starts filling it in. One big takeaway for me is how different the culture and dynamics are between a gay bar and a gay restaurant, and why that matters, in important ways, to people who often don't have a "third space" where they can relax and be themselves. Gay restaurants play that role, and it hits home when you read the intense emotions of owners, chefs and patrons talking about these spaces.

As I neared the end of the book, it struck me that a consistent theme bubbling under the surface is Erik's appreciation of diner culture - that is, lovingly made food for a neighborhood crowd, nutritious and satisfying, and not fussy or expensive. In other words, welcoming. That's a good way to describe this book - a hot plate of fresh food in a cozy atmosphere from somebody who's happy you stopped in. And yeah, I do want fries with that.

[Emily Mayo · Rating 3.75 out of 5]

I enjoyed this and found it interesting for sure but I think it unfortunately is telling - perhaps only of my writing style preferences and topic tastes! - that this book (while taking me only five days on paper) has been languishing overdue at the library for months bc I forgot about it.

but I love to read about cities and worlds of the past and get inspired about what our future cities could look like

[Ricky · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a fun idea for a book, but the execution didn't really land for me. I didn't really care for the writing and found it rambling and all over the place. I found the would-be humorous tone kind of annoying. It's possible that part of my reaction to the book is from listening to the audiobook, because I didn't really care for the audiobook narration.

[C · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just finished "Dining Out: First Dates, Defiant Nights, and Last Call Disco Fries at America's Gay Restaurants" by Erik Piepenberg, a svelte 200-page book that is equal parts nostalgic paean to a bygone era and discussion of a historical trend which asks "does it survive into the present?" It's not a bad book by any means; Erik is a gay Gen Xer who lived through the tail end of the time of the gay village, so it's a world he participated in at least in part. He's also a journalist and so he writes reasonably well, and manages to largely successfully walk the fine line between historian and participant. One thing of note when I read a gay book about gay things is watching how the (gay) author handles "the gay" -- obviously while it's a lot more than a sexuality, a big part of homosexuality for most homosexuals is sexual. Since outsiders often reduce gay people to the sex act, gay authors often fall victim to one of two extremes: either they defiantly focus on the prurient, or they shrink away from it entirely and produce a sanitized work.

At its worst, the latter feels like capitulation and the former performative, so I was quite happy that Erik largely avoids either trap. It is important to note that gay restaurants do have a lot to do with sex; with homosexual conduct outlawed in most of the west until a decade or two ago, many LGBT people couldn't hope for much more than a community, a life in the closet or at the periphery, and some sex. After all, if you can't cohabitate with another man past your 20s let alone marry, your options are limited. Restaurants and bar-restaurants were places to socialize, to look for a liaison, to commiserate with friends after a night on the town, to mourn losses, and so they are intimately tied into the homosexual experience, especially when gay people could not take for granted safety to be themselves. This is a lot of what Erik touches on, and he does a good job of conveying that.

In terms of the good: It's well-written, it's fairly engaging, mixing social trends with vignettes and recollections old and new, as well as with interviews and things he's pulled out of research archives. It also doesn't overstay its welcome. He also does a nice job of including lesbian and transgender narratives and stories in the work, while also discussing the difference between "lesbian/gay" (as it would've largely been considered then) with "queer" (as it would be called now) in a way that feels inclusive without leaving the realm of the historical, and is thoughtful where it isn't inclusive. There's also an extensive bibliography for those of you who might want to track down primary sources.

In terms of the not-so-good: Some of the vignettes drag a little bit, while others are over before they start. Also, I would imagine it's obvious to any queer folks reading this, but many elements of the work cover depressing topics, from the role of restaurants as social spaces during the AIDS crisis to examinations of the decline of the gay village for reasons social and economic, and perhaps most depressingly of all to the fact that the book was published in 2025, a time when any queer person with a brain cell to spare is justifiably concerned for their safety given the second flowering of fascist authoritarianism. Also, for any other non-Americans reading this, and if the title doesn't make it obvious: the book is about America's gay restaurants, and its focus is exclusive, though the author does take pains to go beyond West Hollywood, San Francisco, and NYC.

On the whole, a decent read.

[Glen Helfand · Rating 3 out of 5]

We look to a book like this to find some validation and recognition, to share the legendary places that marked times in our lives. And Piepenburg roots his book in that zone, citing The Melrose, the diner of his youth that was such an important queer location for him, and others. The book is akin to a travelog, a trip around the US, past and present, to eateries that have catered to gay clientele. In fact, it could definitely fuel a streaming series. (The book also qualifies its use of the term gay rather than queer.) It is an enjoyable exploration, one that I wished went a bit deeper in its thesis. Piepenburg goes to gay communities in Florida and Palm Springs, has a good chapter on the AIDS/ACT-UP era and how restaurants served as clubhouses for strategy. He writes about buffets in bathhouses, and the niche foodie queer eateries of the moment. And he does acknowledge how so many gay restaurants were more social and culinary destinations, which is an element that seems so vivid in my mind, the bizarre and sometimes stomach turning meals I've eaten in such establishments. Memorable.

[Bookworm · Rating 2 out of 5]

To end Pride Month I was very excited to get ahold of a book I've had on my backlist for awhile. While I knew about certain bars and other places that were considered safe spaces or havens for LGBTQ+ people, I had never read a whole collection of this. From bars to diners to just what might be considered a "regular" restaurant, author Piepenburg takes us through these various ones.

Piepenburg talks about his own experiences eating in these places (including but not limited to with friends, potential partners, etc.), the history behind them, their place in the community, etc. And not only were there places to well, eat and drink, but a place to socialize, to make connections, find help, and maybe connect romantically. Overall these became places where those in the community just could not be themselves elsewhere, even at home.

It was okay. I really liked the idea but this was quite dull. Sometimes there were interesting bits of histories, anecdotes, commentary, etc. but it felt very rambling and needed better editing. Sometimes there are stories that go on too long and others that could really use some greater detail, etc.

I suspect that part of it is that Piepenburg is a journalist and as usual, books by current/former journalists generally do not work for me. If this had been a blog dedicated to each restaurant or a long-read in a magazine or newspaper, etc. this might have worked better. This definitely has an audience, though, and as someone who had thought about these spaces in this way, it was informative.

Borrowed from the library and that was best for me.

[V. Briceland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erik Piepenburg's candid and enthusiastic survey of the 'gay restaurant'—a phenomenon familiar to LGBTQ+ folk from urban centers who dine out at least occasionally, but may sound alien to anyone else—is a fascinating read. Wide is its historical sweep, from the 19th century Pfaff's Saloon, where Walt Whitman ate German pancakes with a number of gay bohemians and artists, to the present day, in which restaurants catering to the queer community still rise and fall, but flourish nevertheless.

I often found myself smacking my lips over the delicacies served at the many diners and dives described within the book's pages. (Gay restaurants are serving a lot of cheese curds, that's for sure.) And though I'm familiar with several of the establishments Piepenburg mentions, I found the book fueled my nostalgia for those that he didn't: the first small Southern establishment to which I was taken on a date by an older gentleman when I was twenty, and realized that we were not the only same-sex couple dining together. I was reminded of the holiday dinners served at the bathhouses of my youth, and the many midwestern gay diners in which I'd gather with friends, years ago—some of which are still open today.

Although I'd wholeheartedly recommend Dining Out solely for its affectionate embrace of an experience I and many others perhaps have taken for granted, I do so with one reservation. The book could have used an editor with a sharper eye or a fact-checker: there are a handful of particulars throughout that are just flat-out wrong. The most egregious is a statement in Chapter 6 that Trump won the elections of 2020 and 2024. He might have won two elections, but not in 2020. If erroneous basic data like that is slipping through, I can't really recommend relying upon Dining Out for a scrupulous attention to detail.

[Maddisen · Rating 4 out of 5]

America's gay dining scene isn't a novel topic I ever thought to look for but now that I've read Erik Piepenburg's coverage of an era that passed by to quickly, I'm eager for more then just the hits.
This was an intricate walk through of some of the gayest restaurants, dining establishments, queer bars and sex clubs that served food from the early 60s right up to 2025. 'Dining Out' is culturally sensitive, asks important questions - is LGBTQ+ culture disappearing in the quest for the same privileges heterosexual people receive? Are queer people willing to forgo their spaces as invitations to straight individuals overcrowd what once might've been the queerest street on the block? When will those with HIV/AIDS stop having to be ashamed, because the fear and misinformation didn't end when treatment became regularly available? - , highlights the wage gap of queer POC/elderly individuals who still want their dollars going to queer safe spaces but who also need - and deserve - good food, and allows for a delightful trip down memory lane.

Finished 4:47pm

[Bryn Flanigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this! full of fun anecdotes and cultural references and made me hungry. one thing i will say is i felt like there was zero organizational flow here. i guess it was vaguely chronological but it moved around a ton. there were chapters but like they seemed very arbitrary. so it was hard to read it and keep all the info organized in your head. but even as a set of gay restaurant anecdotes shuffled together, i still had a good time. though i have to say the anecdote about Julius on p 41 with the older gay man saying “fuck you, bitch. behave yourself” to a woman inside Julius was strikingly gross to read and i was shocked that that was included in the book with zero “sic” (if you will) by the author. especially because it seemed to add nothing redeeming. just vitriol towards women? genuinely would like to ask the author why this was included and did he think that was an okay thing to say?

[Joe Hilley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a wonderful book. I received a copy of this book from a Goodreads Giveaway that I entered but was not quite sure what it would turn out to be. Now I'm glad I did. A great trip through a restaurant genre, a way of life, a culture, a wonderful part of America. Engaging, forthright without being crass or offensive, and with the ring of honesty and a refreshing style. I'll look forward to more from Erik.

[mads · Rating 5 out of 5]

aw man I loved this one so so much. I love most writings about food and also most writings about historical LGBTQIA events, locations, general experiences, so the two themes brought together in this book really intrigued me -- and did not disappoint!! I loved all the personal anecdotes and feel like I was genuinely educated on a realm of queer history that doesn't get a lot of attention. this book felt really unique and I'm really glad to have read it.

[Brynna Shea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me a deeper understanding of LGBTQ+ history and how gay restaurants still contribute to modern dining. It delves into how the LGBTQ+ community found their “found families” through their experiences dining at gay restaurants. This reading experience definitely gave me a new perspective on dining and social norms. With that, I am so grateful for Drag Brunch and everything people have done to allow me to enjoy it.

[Tara Ryan-Gallagher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dining Out takes us on a culinary tour of America's queer restaurants, their customers, chefs, owners, and their legacies. Real life stories of community and resilience that enrich our understanding of how dining became an integral thread in the fabric of queer history and future. I really appreciated how this book didn't just focus on NYC or LA; I loved learning some Ohio queer history and the shout out to our local lesbian bar/pizza joint, Slammers!

[Allyson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would like to express my gratitude to #goodreadsgiveaway for providing me with this book. This nonfiction account of the last century’s gay dining experience was not a typical choice for me, but I decided to give it a chance. The author presented a wealth of historical information and shared some fascinating stories, both joyful and sorrowful.

[Karen Raines · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun, funny, and informative book about the history of gay restaurants. I especially enjoyed reading about Lips, a drag queen restaurant in San Diego that I went to with some friends a number of times. I appreciated the discussions on how restaurants became a home for gay people who were disowned by their families, particularly during the fraught AIDS years during the 1980s and 1990s.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book! A mix of history, travel journalism, and memoir, Dining Out focuses in on the relatively unexplored history of gay/LGBTQ restaurants (relative to bars that is). I found that approach to exploring queer history (and current trends in queer culture/assimilation) really fresh and engaging. I would absolutely recommend the audio book version as well, narrated by the author.

[Kailyn Lamb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommend the audiobook as the author reads it, and you can feel his emotions at certain points.
It's an important read about the history of gay dining, which in some cases, the author notes it can be hard to trace. There's some really fun and touching stories, as well as the tragic and powerful.

[Carianne Carleo-Evangelist · Rating 4 out of 5]

While there has been a lot written about gay bars, there isn't as much about gay restaurants and their impact on the LGBTQ community. Piepenburg's POV was strong throughout this as he's a vegetarian gay man of a certain age, but the book was relatable. I especially enjoyed the sections on the role of the restaurants in feeding people living with AIDS. Powerful and poignant.

[Taylor Olmstead · Rating 5 out of 5]

History, journalism, memoir. This book, like the 24-hour diners it covers, serves everything. It made me long for restaurants that closed before I was born and relish the ones we still have. As an Atlantan from Ohio I recognized a few of the restaurants but learned about more than I expected. And I want to meet all of the vibrant characters that make those places what they are.

[amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

i enjoyed learning about this aspect of the culture that i didn’t really know anything about. the author did a great job of writing about such an interesting subject. it all boils down to: everybody’s gotta eat.

[Stuart Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lively profiles of gay and lesbian eating spaces across the U.S. that ponder the role such establishments play in gay/lesbian culture. My only complaint: why didn't this include at least a paragraph or two on Chicago's long-gone and much-loved Genesee Depot?

[Naweed · Rating 4 out of 5]

found it really interesting and moving to delve deeper into a topic im less familiar with in terms of queer spaces: gay restaurants. makes me think more about how I’ve engaged with dining out and how comforting it can be to just share a meal among our own.

[Annalee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good exploration of dining culture in the queer community. It wasn’t just one narrative. It seemed to be analysis centered around different restaurants. I never knew most of the information about the culture. I learned quite a bit about the culture and history.

[Jeremy Enfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book explores the history of gay restaurants in the US and the cultural significance of these establishments. New York Times journalist Laura Piepenburg draws together oral histories, memoirs, and archival research to examine how these spaces have nourished the LGBTQ community.

The book talks about how restaurants have been integral spaces for queer resistance, as opposed to just protesting or bars. It also covers locations from the 1920s until present, which highlights the more prominent establishments within a city.

A touching tribute to the contributions of queer eateries, Dining Out pays tribute to their vital role in fostering a community. It is an ideal read for anyone who is interested in food culture, queer history, and the role restaurants play in anchoring communities.