I liked a lot of things about this book. I enjoyed X as a concept. I liked the found family aspect. And I thought the FMC/MMC relationship dynamic was cute.
However, some things didn’t really add up.
The colloquial of both of the main characters doesn’t lineup with their backgrounds. It was very difficult to place them as characters when their race, their socioeconomic status and their life experiences felt unnecessarily vague / like they were at odds.
I first thought the MMC was Black or Brown, but then he is described as having ice blue eyes. That combination of features is very rare and I don’t think the author was making a statement about unique genetic combinations when she created this character. He also speaks in a very POC type of slang and carries the kind of energy that suggests he grew up in a similar type of community, so it’s either an oversight or a true work of fiction where characters are built on dreams and desires with little basis in reality. You can’t contribute the juxtaposition of behaviors and personality traits to Juvie, because his personality was like this from the beginning of the book.
The key problem, for me, is a lot of this book is “real,” considering the severity of the topics covered. So it’s confusing to use less realistic characters to speak to these complex situations.
Considering Xavier’s experience with the legal system as a teen for instance — I think the lack of clarity leaves a significant gap in understanding why these things happened to him, and how they played out.
It sounds as if X grew up in an upper class neighborhood; his father was charged for white collar crimes. Yet, a lot of what he went through presumed a lack of innocence and suggested he was a threat to society. It is difficult to believe the cards would have been so stacked against him when he lives in a world where you are inherently given the benefit of the doubt as a non-POC. Not to mention that he had been reporting the domestic abuse since childhood, his brother committed suicide, and his mom went into self-imposed hiding. This is all supporting evidence for his case; at the very least, to help position this as an isolated incident. In terms of framing his father…who is to say he didn’t have access to his father’s computer at home? There is room for plausible deniability when it comes to how he got his hands on his father’s documents, especially considering his friends who had the know how were never caught or charged. Plus, the documents were real, and the loophole he used to lead to the arrest is legal. His father was guilty of those crimes. It just doesn’t make sense to me how he gets pinned as a bad person who needs to be ashamed of his actions through adulthood.
The FMC’s ex-boyfriend is such an idiot, and that also doesn’t make sense; if he was paying so much attention to her, then how even to the last moments when things grew extremely clear, did he overlook every sign of danger? I understand that he is meant to be a bad match for her, but he was also a close friend so it’s really confusing. It seems that he kept tabs on her, but was just too scared to be there for her and too indecisive/selfish to avoid leading two girls on. However, those actions suggest a notable difference in character vs. the way he was portrayed. To me, his character did not make much sense and served to push the plot forward / muddle reader predictions about the perpetrator.
I also was really uncomfortable with all the mentions of moans that made no sense. Why is she moaning in front of strangers and in front of her freaking family?
Both main characters had sex appeal, but the book struggled with sexy scenes. They felt very contrived and almost at odds with the situation at hand. For a character to be so anxious and to be stalked in the way that she was…it is very interesting that she would have been so comfortable—without even an internal nod to the fact that she had extremely relevant anxieties—during intimate scenes that occurred in adjacency to a number of recent triggers. I understand that hypersexuality can be a reaction to this kind of trauma, but that is not what it was giving. She was shy and almost naïvely or childishly portrayed throughout the book.
There are multiple other points that gave me pause, but I feel like these were the primary aspects that caused me to struggle while reading this book.
Ultimately, there were just too many questions for me to really sit back and enjoy the story. I had a hard time perceiving any of the characters as real, and I only felt emotionally gripped during the last chapters of the book. Considering I also was recently stalked and harassed, I assumed that this book would have felt more familiar. I did get emotional towards the end because I understand the struggle of having no help and being left to resolve, document, argue everything on your own. Ultimately, this book comes across as a work of fiction with limited connections to real life.