We Dont Talk about That - An Amazing Story of Survival

by Giselle Roeder

Millions of women were abused and raped during the final stages of WW II, and while the attitude among many survivors is "We don't talk about that", this woman has found the courage to place her memories on record. Growing up in a rural village in Pomerania, Gila's tranquil life turned tragic when the fighting approached her neighborhood. Her father was captured and taken to Siberia while she and her family became displaced persons and joined the trek of thousands "on the road to nowhere." She was witness to gruesome acts of violence that quickly aged her before her years. She barely survived diphtheria and later, recovering from typhoid fever, she took responsibility for her three siblings while her mother worked. Despite her interrupted schooling through circumstances beyond her control, Gila's determination empowered her to become a Physical Education teacher and successful competitive kayaker. The division of Germany into East and West with its political ramifications caused her to escape to West Germany. Here she was able to fulfill an old dream despite having to face new challenges, including an unwanted affair. Gila's story is one of heartache, courage, pain, love, liberation and reclaiming life.

Genres: Biography, History

256 pages, Hardcover

First published April 23, 2014

About the author

Born prior to WWII Giselle Roeder spent her early life in the relatively tranquil setting of a rural village in Pomerania, the most eastern part of Germany ceeded to Poland in 1945. The bloody trauma of the fighting between the advancing Russians and the retreating German army in her neighborhood meant that thousands of people, including her family became displaced persons. Despite the interruptions in her education Giselle qualified as a Physical Education teacher in what was known as East Germany before she escaped to the West via Berlin. In West Germany, she was obliged to start her life all over again, recommence her training and eventually became a health educator.

Following her emigration to Canada in 1963, Giselle succeeded in business and became well-known as an international public speaker in the developing alternative health field.

She jokes about her first full English sentence, spoken to a salesman at her door two days after her arrival in Canada: "My - man - is - not home."

Giselle has written several books: two about healthy living, her memoir "We Don't Talk About That" covering the amazing story of survival during her first thirty years, the sequel "Flight Into The Unknown - Dreaming of Life and Love in Canada" to be followed by the finale of her memoir, "Set Sail For Life After 50 - Age is just a Number." Unforgettable is "Forget Me Not", A Bouquet of Stories, Thoughts, and Memories (about people who influenced my life and it will give you lots to think about, plus, it makes a terrific gift.

Reviews

[Nikki Landis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some stories must be told, no matter how disturbing, horrible, or unbelievable they may seem. Some truths devastate because you can't imagine how they are possibly true. You DON'T WANT them to be true. How can such brutality exist? How can one individual possibly survive after so much horror? How much can the human spirit endure and bounce back from the brink of destruction and continue on?

This book, I think, is probably one of the most emotional and life changing stories I have ever read. It truly touched my soul. I have the utmost respect for the author and her courage, bravery, and willingness to step forward and tell the truth about the shocking and brutal events of her life. She is, WAS, a victim. Her family were victims. Her friends and neighbors. In fact, many German women were and yet they survived. They pushed forward. They endured the despicable and impossible, and they persevered.

This book is not an easy read. I had to stop often, take a breath or break, and come back to the story. Over several days I read and witnessed the horrific events that changed a nation and destroyed a country. As an American woman in 2017, what do I truly know of suffering? What do I know of survival, fighting with everything I have in order to make it through each day? What do I know of living in fear for my life or waiting for the next man to knock on my door, ordering me to disrobe? What do I know of losing all that I own, of being displaced without a home or country, and losing everything, including the people I love? What do I know of starvation?

The answer is simple. I do not. But by reading this story, I have an idea. My heart just aches. I'm devastated. I cannot imagine enduring for even one day what the author and these other women endured for months, years of their lives. How did they go on? How did they later marry and have families? How did not lose their very soul to such inhumane acts?

The story does not end there. The author takes us on a journey of self-discovery and the search for freedom. I found myself cheering her on throughout the book, hoping that she would finally find peace, love, and happiness. I don't think you can give away spoilers in a novel like this. It's a true account of suffering and perseverance, of losing everything and finding what truly matters, and because of that, I am happy to say I think the author found what she was looking for in the end.

Chronicling the first thirty or so years of her life, the author lays out life in the 1940's and 50's and her youth, her family, and life before the war. Once the war starts, it's a shocking read. Be warned, this novel tells the brutal truth and is in parts almost too much, but only because of content. The way in which the books is written, in a narrative that feels like you are listening to a close friend, is the only way to get through the stories.

There is a lot of wonderful historical detail from life back in that era, landmarks, cities, geography, and much information about the war and its effects on the German people. For me this is one of the most interesting parts of the book. You hear much growing up about world war II and its effects on the world, the atrocity of so many lives lost, the hatred of the Jewish people, but I don't think I can recollect much learning in school about the German people and their struggles. It's wrong. We can't forget as a society what happened. We can't condone what happened. We can't let it happen again.

WE CAN'T FORGET.

Stories like this must be told and published. They must be shared. They need to be read. What hope do we have for humanity if we forget, if the dust covers the words of these atrocities, and God forbid, history tries to repeat itself? No, we can't let that happen. And the author is right to share this story, to talk about what happened, and to ensure her words are written down for all eternity. In her own words, no embellishment, she describes the gritty and grueling aspects of her life from start to finish. There's no other way the story could be written.

I have a much better understanding of history now. Such experiences must mark a person for life. This is a memoir I would recommend to everyone, but especially I will recommend to the women I know. It's an emotional, courageous, and extraordinary story that MUST BE READ. I highly recommend purchasing this book and owning a copy for yourself. We Don't Talk About That truly is an amazing story of survival.

[Rose Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We don’t talk about that” is the fitting title for this revealing memoir of a woman who lost her childhood, her home and her innocence to a war that extended into what should have been peacetime.
Roeder’s begins by taking the reader back in time, when cars, machinery and hot running water were still novelties in European village life as late as the 1930’s, when the Nazis came to power. But for ordinary people to speak out against them was to invite disaster on your family, job and standing in the community. When Roeder’s father was drafted into the army as most men of that generation were, the women were left behind in the family home in Pomerania to eke out their livelihood. Though it wasn’t easy, the worst was yet to come. When the Russians invaded, murder and rape became the order of the day. Shortly afterward, due to the hand-over of German territories to Poland, Roeder’s mother, grandmother and young sisters were given but a few moments notice to evacuate their home and join millions of other expellees.
As the eldest child in the family, Roeder is initiated into adulthood at the age of 11. The journey is horrifying but her resourcefulness touching as she helps her family in every way she can. Roeder recounts her story with such vivid detail it is truly like being there and she mixes it all—the good, the bad and the ugly in such a way that her rings true. You can’t make this stuff up. It is a living nightmare that no child should have to live through. The reader cannot help but gain new understanding of these little examined events of history.
I was going to dock a star for odd sentences and incorrect grammar, but since the author’s first language is German, I concluded in a way, that these quirks add to her authentic voice. For the importance of the story and the overall emotion and vividness of the prose I decided it deserved full marks. This book will stay with you.

[Carol · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a true story by an amazing woman who lived through WW2 in Pomerania, Germany (which became part of Poland after the war). Giselle (Gila) was 11 when the war came to her part of the world.
The book is a very simple read, written in the first person in a declarative style, just like she is sitting there telling you the story of her life - which in fact is what she does in this book.
Surprisingly, the "awful" part they don't talk about, doesn't take much time in this book. Perhaps that is a good thing, as the details given are horrific, and few would have the stomach to read about cruel, slow deaths, cruel multiple rapes, dismemberment, and other tortures for very many pages.
Her early life is described as tranquil, with plenty of food and good neighbors. When the Russians arrive the trouble starts. Eventually they must leave their home and take to the road with thousands of other displaced persons.
Life settles down once the family reaches their Aunt in what becomes East Germany. Later, she escapes to West Germany and builds a fulfilling life for herself. How she ended up in North America is a whole other story, told in the last 2 - 3 pages.
I enjoyed the book very much and would recommend it to others.

[Trevor Cradduck · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book that was so very hard to put down. It reveals so much that it is no wonder that the title is "We don't talk about that". It is understandable that those who experienced the same traumas that befell the author at the close of WW II would not wish to refresh those memories. The author shows great courage in relating the story of her childhood during the war then the trek with her family "on the road to nowhere", living under the oppression of East Germany and even the abuse by a stalker after her escape from East Germany. Eventually Giselle decides that she has to escape even from West Germany and seeks a way to "get away from it all".
A book well written and deservedly receiving good reviews in other quarters.

[Ann Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Subtitled, ‘An amazing story of survival’ this autobiography is surely that. Giselle Roeder was born in a German province which after WW2 became part of Poland. Her story is by turns illuminating, shocking, awe-inspiring and uplifting – beautifully written in a style that simply draws the reader along.
The first third of this autobiography tells of peaceful family life between the wars in a quiet farming area. For the majority of the war, little seemed to change until the beginning of 1945, when the Russians came.
WW2 and what led up to it, most people know about: Hitler and the Nazis, the ‘Final Solution’ and the terrible events of the Holocaust. From the books that came out of the USSR in the 1960s, I’d read about Stalin’s pogroms and the Siberian gulags; about a political system that was akin to the Spanish Inquisition. But what happened in 1945, when the Russians overran eastern Germany – including the Baltic states and the Balkans – I knew nothing of that.
Giselle Roeder has enlightened me. I found it deeply shocking to read of wholesale rapes by the Russian soldiers – ordered by Stalin – to demoralise and subdue the German population. This personal story – the things she witnessed and experienced – is told without undue emphasis, and without begging for sympathy, but simply, ‘the way it happened’. And her words carry more weight because of it. I can fully understand the title of this book: ‘We Don’t Talk About That,’ since to speak of it is to re-live the horror. And yet people should know – it’s the other side of the coin.
The story of her family’s escape towards relatives living on the Baltic coast, puts meaning into the phrase ‘displaced persons’. And it proves the sad adage that ‘nothing really changes.’ Current TV news of people bombed and/or ejected from their homes, trailing along roads, carrying children, pushing handcarts, sitting in camps, are made more personal when reading of similar events in this book. How her baby sister survived starvation on their journey is one miracle; how Giselle survived diphtheria while on the road is another.
But those experiences bred a woman determined to succeed. Her escape to West Berlin is a story in itself; how she was saved by kindness, and subsequently abused by her employer is another. But all the time she was striving and learning, acquiring business experience as well as knowledge. Towards the end of the book, an intolerable situation makes another move imperative – this time, it seems, abroad to Canada.
If I have any criticism at all, it is to do with the ending, which is abrupt. Fortunately, there is a ‘taster’ of the beginning of the second half of Giselle Roeder’s autobiography, which is (in my opinion) the cliff-hanger on which the first book should have ended. But that is a minor point. As a personal, brave, and extraordinary story, I cannot recommend this book highly enough. As a piece of social history it is a valuable document.
Thank you, Giselle Roeder, for writing it.

[LoLo Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good I couldn’t turn pages fast enough. The author tells a chilling story of what it was like as an ordinary German citizen to survive World War I and how she and her family survived the post war years in East Germany under Soviet rule. The invasion of eastern Germany by the Russian army brought horror through unspeakable atrocities to the German population. Everyone suffered and no one was spared. Not even children. Giselle Roeder’s narrative spares no details. But first, she tells us who the family members are and explains the importance of these relationships to one another and to her. She hooks us and has us caring about what happens to each of them, then immerses us along with herself in the action and the horrors of what she experienced in order to survive. We want to know what happens to all of these people. Kudos to the author for her brevity. It takes an enormous amount of courage to relive such events and depict them on the page. After reading this memoir, how can one not be changed? For this reader, I sure was. I highly recommend this book. If nothing else, it will inspire you to appreciate life itself.

[Trevor Cradduck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been privileged to read an early manuscript of this gripping story of survival. It is easy to understand the reluctance of so many women to talk about their experiences during and immediately following a war. This author has demonstrated great courage in taking on the task of recording what others will not talk about. The book relates both her experiences as a young child in a war torn country and her subsequent experiences as a young adult including an unwanted affair, being stalked, being confronted by a rapist which drove her to finding escape in emigration.
Subsequent to publication this book has been described by other readers as a real page turner and a book they were unable to put down until they had finished. As a bonus the author Giselle Roeder has a web site where she posts photos and other stories related to her book. Look for it here.

[David John · Rating 5 out of 5]

For the millions that have read the Diary of Anne Frank this is a similar thrilling, frightening and heart wrenching book. Like the Diary of Anne Frank this is a must read for everyone to understand the horrors of a simple family living in Germany at the end of WW 2 when the Russians arrived. The first part of the book spends time describing her family which helps readers understand the horror and fear when the Russians arrive, raping, and killing the German people. Fortunately unlike Anne Frank, Giselle survives and with her strength goes on to have an amazing life. I read this book before reading her latest book "Flight into the Unknown" and so glad I did as it really helped me understand what Giselle went through as a child and young adult, prior to building her new life in Canada. Highly recommend both of her books.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are so many books written from the concentration camp perspective that this book written by a German woman who was 11 when the Russians invaded which changed her innocent, idyllic life forever. It reminds us that war affects everyone and each side has victims. I had trouble rating this book because while Giselle’s had an important and compelling story to share , I felt that the narrative dragged on too much in the last quarter of the book which included a lot of irrelevant information (not all of it) about her day-to-day life after she escapes to West Germany. That part could have been more succinct and sounded, at times, like she was attempting to promote her other books (I.e., the book on het life after coming to Canada and her book about hydrotherapy).

[Cynthia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rather horrifying account of the treatment of German families-- particularly women and children--during the taking over of Eastern Germany by the Russians. My husband's family fled as refugees and he did not want me to read aloud. I found it fascinating.

People are amazingly resilient. The author eventually came to Canada and lives in Nanaimo, an hour away from us.

[Amberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very well told narrative and interesting book. Written from a perspective we don't hear nearly enough of.

[Kathryn Gauci · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing read, yet at times, heartbreaking story of growing up in a German family in Pomerania during WWII. Well-written, the author does not spare us any of the horrific details of what took place, yet at the same time, seen through the eyes of a child, we get a sense of the love and small things that fascinate a young girl. The part about the family under Russian occupation is harrowing, but this is war and should serve to remind us of just how cruel it can get. Roeder's life growing up in East Berlin and her escape was also interesting. She certainly had a strong personality. I congratulate her on telling what cannot have been an easy book to write.

[Marina Osipova · Rating 5 out of 5]

A rare glimpse at the subject that was taboo for so long

So engrossing, so painful and sad, at times, disturbing, and so surprisingly poetic at some places. In her honest revelation of what no one wanted to talk about for decades, the author TALKS about that, which was humiliating, shameful, better not to remember. She talks without hatred, more like presenting an account of “it was the way it was”. It takes courage. It takes the understanding of the big picture of that horrible war, inhumanly brutal from both sides.

[J.P. McLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Harsh Reality

I had the pleasure of meeting this fascinating woman, and was captivated by her delightful, positive energy. After reading We don’t talk about That, I am even more amazed, not only that she survived and has achieved so much in her life, but that she had the fortitude to chronicle her experiences. It couldn’t have been easy.

Giselle Roeder’s story begins before the war. Her recollections of a storybook childhood in Pomerania is the vision that remains in your mind as the war encroaches, and her reality slowly erodes until sickness, starvation and death become the norm, as do rape and abuse.

The accounts of WWII that I’d been exposed to prior to this now seem sugar-coated. This one isn’t and it’s a viewpoint I hadn’t seen in such detail before. Though not easy to read (subject matter, not the writing), I’m so glad I did. I have a much better understanding now of what refugees faced, then and now.