What do you think?
Rate this book
The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement
Narcissism -- a very positive and inflated view of the self -- is everywhere. It's what you have if you're a politician and you've strayed from your wife, and it's why five times as many Americans undergo plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures today than did just ten years ago. It's the value that parents teach their children with song lyrics like "I am special. Look at me," the skill teenagers and young adults obsessively hone on Facebook and MySpace, and the reason high school students physically beat classmates and then broadcast their violence on YouTube for all to see. It's the message preached by prosperity gospel and the vacuous ethos spread by celebrity newsmakers. And it's what's making people depressed, lonely, and buried under piles of debt.Jean M. Twenge's influential and controversial first book, Generation Me, generated a national debate with its trenchant depiction of the challenges twenty- and thirtysomethings face emotionally and professionally in today's world -- and the fallout these issues create for older generations as well as employers. Now, Dr. Twenge is on to a new incendiary topic that has repercussions for every age-group and the pernicious spread of narcissism in today's culture and its catastrophic effects. Dr. Twenge joins forces with W. Keith Campbell, Ph.D., a nationally recognized expert on narcissism, for The Narcissism Epidemic, their eye-opening exposition of the alarming rise of narcissism -- and they show how to stop it.
Every day, you encounter the real costs of in your relationships and family, in the workplace and the economy at large, in schools that fail to teach necessary skills, in culture, and in politics. Even the world economy has been damaged by risky, unrealistic overconfidence. Filled with arresting anecdotes that illustrate the hold narcissism has on us today -- from people hiring fake paparazzi in order to experience feeling famous to college students who won't leave a professor's office until their B+ becomes an A -- The Narcissism Epidemic is at once a riveting window into the consequences of narcissism, a probing analysis of the culture at large, and a prescription to combat the widespread problems caused by narcissism. As a society, we have a chance to slow the epidemic of narcissism once we learn to identify it, minimize the forces that sustain and transmit it, and treat it where we find it. Drawing on their own extensive research as well as decades of other experts' studies, Drs. Twenge and Campbell show us how.
Every day, you encounter the real costs of in your relationships and family, in the workplace and the economy at large, in schools that fail to teach necessary skills, in culture, and in politics. Even the world economy has been damaged by risky, unrealistic overconfidence. Filled with arresting anecdotes that illustrate the hold narcissism has on us today -- from people hiring fake paparazzi in order to experience feeling famous to college students who won't leave a professor's office until their B+ becomes an A -- The Narcissism Epidemic is at once a riveting window into the consequences of narcissism, a probing analysis of the culture at large, and a prescription to combat the widespread problems caused by narcissism. As a society, we have a chance to slow the epidemic of narcissism once we learn to identify it, minimize the forces that sustain and transmit it, and treat it where we find it. Drawing on their own extensive research as well as decades of other experts' studies, Drs. Twenge and Campbell show us how.
MP3 CD
First published April 21, 2009
300 people are currently reading
5670 people want to read
About the author
Jean M. Twenge
22 books305 followersDr. Twenge frequently gives talks and seminars on teaching and working with today’s young generation based on a dataset of 11 million young people. Her audiences have included college faculty and staff, high school teachers, military personnel, camp directors, and corporate executives. Her research has been covered in Time, Newsweek, The New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News and World Report, and The Washington Post, and she has been featured on Today, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, Fox and Friends, NBC Nightly News, Dateline NBC, and National Public Radio.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
She holds a BA and MA from the University of Chicago and a Ph.D. from the University of Michigan. She lives in San Diego with her husband and three daughters.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 418 reviews
February 8, 2022
The Apocalypse Has Arrived
We’re already cooked. Really. Forget about the omicron virus, global warming, the big tech threat to freedom, AI inflexion points, Russians in the Ukraine, and Republican insanity. All these have a common core which so dominates our world that it is impossible to inhibit much less reverse its effects: pathological narcissism. Because “Narcissism is a psychocultural affliction,” it is really untreatable by any known therapy, remedy, or social campaign.
According to Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell, we are now enthralled by a global culture of narcissism. As with any culture the culture of narcissism has an overdetermined history. It is the product of a vague coincidence of factors including war, economic fluctuations, influential sociological and psychological theories, technological advance, and… well plain serendipity.
The symptoms of this narcissistic culture are everywhere in plain sight. Near universal degeneration of national and local communities, the aspirations of youth and the disappointments of the elderly, the sexualisation of infancy and the disillusion of adolescents, disparaging attitudes towards racial difference, relative disadvantage, poverty, and disability, personal economic irresponsibility and institutional promotion of this irresponsibility.
Celebrity, ostentation, self-absorption and other manifestations of adolescence are now extended through whole populations. The authors conclude that “Narcissism has spread through the generations like a particularly pernicious virus—one with multiple means of entry and transmission.” Narcissism appears as if it’s a necessary condition to get on in the world: “Despite the iffy performance record of narcissists in leadership roles, narcissists are more likely than others to emerge as leaders in an organization.”
The analytic and anecdotal data supports these conclusions:
So if you’ve felt like a frog in a slowly heating pan of water, you’re not hallucinating. Things are changing, and pretty quickly. But not just in the superficial ways revealed in the popular media (or for that matter in the fringe like QAnon who can’t see the implicit conspiracy of which they are a part). Narcissism is proliferating and evolving faster than the COVID virus: “Not only are there more narcissists than ever, but non-narcissistic people are seduced by the increasing emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance, celebrity worship, and attention seeking.”
According to fairly reliable surveys in the first decade of the 21st century (The Narcissism Epidemic was published in 2009), 1 in 4 college students showed markedly narcissistic traits; and almost half of those appeared to be suffering from clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). And this is the tip of a sociological iceberg because “lurking underneath is the narcissistic culture that has drawn in many more. The narcissism epidemic has spread to the culture as a whole, affecting both narcissistic and less self-centered people.”
The authors pinpoint the ‘patient zero’ of this now worldwide malaise in the United States as the clearly dominant cultural influencer of the late 20th century. Partly this is due to the subtle shift in values: “in America today there are few values more fiercely held than the importance of self-admiration.” Americans, they say, “love to love themselves.” But in a typically narcissistic manner, this national self-admiration seems to increase in direct proportion to the country’s obvious decline in its confidence in its own institutions of government, law, and religion. The authors quip that “Narcissism is the fast food of the soul.” It is easy to get and immediately enjoyable. But it is also destructive of health. Americans, it seems, have become obese in more than physical terms.
Of note in this regard is that, although five years before his political bid, Donald Trump is put forward as a sort of poster boy for the new American self image and aspirational ikon:
I think it is unlikely that even the authors would have predicted such a massive cultural shift that would permit the man to be nominated and elected to the presidency only five years later. It is difficult to imagine a better confirmation of their thesis than these events. They got it exactly right: “Americans are obsessed with people who are obsessed with themselves.” Trump is the perfect combination of vacuous celebrity, inflated ego, and ruthless determination to dominate that are the hallmarks of the pathological narcissist. He is indeed “the number one for thinking he is the number one,” and has brought a lot section of the population to the same conclusion.
It is clearly impossible to accurately predict the evolutionary path of a culture. We know more about black holes and the behaviour of quantum particles than we do about our effects on each other. But it is certain that the “quest for the self” which has characterised so much of recent cultural history cannot end well. Even the political, economic, and social crisis it is causing now simply provides more material, more ‘supply’ or ‘fuel’ for narcissism to feed off.
One way to encapsulate the effects of what is essentially a global revolution is to recognise the profound change in ethics this revolution has produced. Every one of the world’s major religions and secular thinkers about morality agree on the supreme importance of the Golden Rule. Doing unto others at least to the degree you would have them do unto you is the root of civilisation. Narcissists dedicate themselves to breaking this rule, and do so by exploiting those who abide by it. So their attack on civilisation is profound and apparently successful.
This very well could be the way the world ends, not with a bomb but with a narcissistic whine.
We’re already cooked. Really. Forget about the omicron virus, global warming, the big tech threat to freedom, AI inflexion points, Russians in the Ukraine, and Republican insanity. All these have a common core which so dominates our world that it is impossible to inhibit much less reverse its effects: pathological narcissism. Because “Narcissism is a psychocultural affliction,” it is really untreatable by any known therapy, remedy, or social campaign.
According to Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell, we are now enthralled by a global culture of narcissism. As with any culture the culture of narcissism has an overdetermined history. It is the product of a vague coincidence of factors including war, economic fluctuations, influential sociological and psychological theories, technological advance, and… well plain serendipity.
The symptoms of this narcissistic culture are everywhere in plain sight. Near universal degeneration of national and local communities, the aspirations of youth and the disappointments of the elderly, the sexualisation of infancy and the disillusion of adolescents, disparaging attitudes towards racial difference, relative disadvantage, poverty, and disability, personal economic irresponsibility and institutional promotion of this irresponsibility.
Celebrity, ostentation, self-absorption and other manifestations of adolescence are now extended through whole populations. The authors conclude that “Narcissism has spread through the generations like a particularly pernicious virus—one with multiple means of entry and transmission.” Narcissism appears as if it’s a necessary condition to get on in the world: “Despite the iffy performance record of narcissists in leadership roles, narcissists are more likely than others to emerge as leaders in an organization.”
The analytic and anecdotal data supports these conclusions:
“Many cultural changes were eminently quantifiable: the fivefold increase in plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures in just ten years, the growth of celebrity gossip magazines, Americans spending more than they earn and racking up huge amounts of debt, the growing size of houses, the increasing popularity of giving children unique names, polling data on the importance of being rich and famous, and the growing number of people who cheat… the number of teens getting breast augmentations jumped 55% in just one year from 2006 to 2007, and some parents do indeed pay for them as graduation gifts”
So if you’ve felt like a frog in a slowly heating pan of water, you’re not hallucinating. Things are changing, and pretty quickly. But not just in the superficial ways revealed in the popular media (or for that matter in the fringe like QAnon who can’t see the implicit conspiracy of which they are a part). Narcissism is proliferating and evolving faster than the COVID virus: “Not only are there more narcissists than ever, but non-narcissistic people are seduced by the increasing emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance, celebrity worship, and attention seeking.”
According to fairly reliable surveys in the first decade of the 21st century (The Narcissism Epidemic was published in 2009), 1 in 4 college students showed markedly narcissistic traits; and almost half of those appeared to be suffering from clinical Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). And this is the tip of a sociological iceberg because “lurking underneath is the narcissistic culture that has drawn in many more. The narcissism epidemic has spread to the culture as a whole, affecting both narcissistic and less self-centered people.”
The authors pinpoint the ‘patient zero’ of this now worldwide malaise in the United States as the clearly dominant cultural influencer of the late 20th century. Partly this is due to the subtle shift in values: “in America today there are few values more fiercely held than the importance of self-admiration.” Americans, they say, “love to love themselves.” But in a typically narcissistic manner, this national self-admiration seems to increase in direct proportion to the country’s obvious decline in its confidence in its own institutions of government, law, and religion. The authors quip that “Narcissism is the fast food of the soul.” It is easy to get and immediately enjoyable. But it is also destructive of health. Americans, it seems, have become obese in more than physical terms.
Of note in this regard is that, although five years before his political bid, Donald Trump is put forward as a sort of poster boy for the new American self image and aspirational ikon:
Donald Trump, who puts his name on everything he builds, has his own TV show, named a university after himself (yes, there is a Trump University), and picks fights with talk show hosts, is a great example of someone who is both successful and appears to be narcissistic. We know about Donald Trump’s success because he is relentlessly self-promoting. It is hard to miss The Donald in the media, and he is rich—but there are other real estate tycoons you’ve never heard of because they are not self-promoters and don’t want to be in the limelight.”
I think it is unlikely that even the authors would have predicted such a massive cultural shift that would permit the man to be nominated and elected to the presidency only five years later. It is difficult to imagine a better confirmation of their thesis than these events. They got it exactly right: “Americans are obsessed with people who are obsessed with themselves.” Trump is the perfect combination of vacuous celebrity, inflated ego, and ruthless determination to dominate that are the hallmarks of the pathological narcissist. He is indeed “the number one for thinking he is the number one,” and has brought a lot section of the population to the same conclusion.
It is clearly impossible to accurately predict the evolutionary path of a culture. We know more about black holes and the behaviour of quantum particles than we do about our effects on each other. But it is certain that the “quest for the self” which has characterised so much of recent cultural history cannot end well. Even the political, economic, and social crisis it is causing now simply provides more material, more ‘supply’ or ‘fuel’ for narcissism to feed off.
One way to encapsulate the effects of what is essentially a global revolution is to recognise the profound change in ethics this revolution has produced. Every one of the world’s major religions and secular thinkers about morality agree on the supreme importance of the Golden Rule. Doing unto others at least to the degree you would have them do unto you is the root of civilisation. Narcissists dedicate themselves to breaking this rule, and do so by exploiting those who abide by it. So their attack on civilisation is profound and apparently successful.
This very well could be the way the world ends, not with a bomb but with a narcissistic whine.
June 30, 2011
It's kind of funny to write a review about this book on goodreads, since it is the type of behavior that the authors of this book would find to be a prime example if narcissism in our culture. However, goodreads is a lot less prone to moronic behavior than the prime examples of online activity that are mentioned here.
I liked the book in that it does present several good arguments for how narcissism has taken hold of American society. However, several of the arguments are made poorly. The chapter on social media, for instance, uses too many examples from MySpace; I could see giving this chapter to my students, only to have the point lost on them because "no one uses MySpace anymore." There is much railing against SUVs, which is a strategy relevant from about four years ago. Many of their reality television examples are drawn from shows that no longer exist (or no one watches). Much of the book seems like too old fuddy-duddies complaining about kids these days, the Statler and Waldorf of pop culture.
In addition, the authors weaken their arguments by focusing too much on extreme behavior. Of course people use Facebook to pose scantily clad pictures of themselves and obscenity ridden tirades about everything, but most people don't do that. The obvious point missed is that any compulsion to constantly update everyone about what you are doing reeks of narcissism, regardless of whether you're downing shots or changing diapers. I find it troubling that so many people are willing to give up so much of their private lives (while complaining about the lack of privacy) in the name of a little recognition.
The real cost of narcissism, in my opinion, is honesty. People pretend to be someone they aren't by buying products that will make them appear to live a lifestyle that they can't actually afford. Facebook to me is all about presenting yourself to others as you would like others to see you, not as you actually are. In essence we are creating reality television versions of ourselves, editing our lives through social media, Botox and clothes to become the people we think everyone wants us to be.
I liked the book in that it does present several good arguments for how narcissism has taken hold of American society. However, several of the arguments are made poorly. The chapter on social media, for instance, uses too many examples from MySpace; I could see giving this chapter to my students, only to have the point lost on them because "no one uses MySpace anymore." There is much railing against SUVs, which is a strategy relevant from about four years ago. Many of their reality television examples are drawn from shows that no longer exist (or no one watches). Much of the book seems like too old fuddy-duddies complaining about kids these days, the Statler and Waldorf of pop culture.
In addition, the authors weaken their arguments by focusing too much on extreme behavior. Of course people use Facebook to pose scantily clad pictures of themselves and obscenity ridden tirades about everything, but most people don't do that. The obvious point missed is that any compulsion to constantly update everyone about what you are doing reeks of narcissism, regardless of whether you're downing shots or changing diapers. I find it troubling that so many people are willing to give up so much of their private lives (while complaining about the lack of privacy) in the name of a little recognition.
The real cost of narcissism, in my opinion, is honesty. People pretend to be someone they aren't by buying products that will make them appear to live a lifestyle that they can't actually afford. Facebook to me is all about presenting yourself to others as you would like others to see you, not as you actually are. In essence we are creating reality television versions of ourselves, editing our lives through social media, Botox and clothes to become the people we think everyone wants us to be.
May 5, 2009
I bought this book on a buying binge at Borders while eating a baguette. Therefore I didn't crack it open before purchase. Alas.
I was hoping for a rational, well-informed look at the growth of narcissism in american culture, with perhaps a discussion of the real psychological impacts. A scientific approach.
Instead what we get is a sermonizing, bitter yakfest about the evils of the internet age. Any counterpoints thrown in for the appearance of a balanced perspective are hastily made and quickly discarded as irrelevant. The authors seem to be coming from a defensive posture where their points have already been attacked. The examples they draw upon to support their cases are often the worst possible, the fringe which doesn't represent the general public. And there is much reminescing about the "good old days" when people knew their place.
I was looking really hard for a morsel of enlightenment, something unique or provocative, but there was so much judgement noise I couldn't receive a meaningful signal.
Yes, blogs, Facebook and Myspace pages are narcissistic, sometimes to an extreme degree. But they also allow each individual to share what is unique about him or herself, and in many cases to add knowledge and perspective to the community. Truly narcissistic or irrelevant information is typically filtered out of most readers' receptors anyway, and those friends who fill our streams with useless narcissistic crap are often de-friended or ignored.
The internet is evolving, and allowing everyone to share their thoughts, their attempts at creativity. Why shouldn't they be able to? This increases the chance that the next Mozart is discovered without having to have a big record deal. The next Shakespeare could appear without having to get accepted into Oprah's Book Club. Yes, there is a mountain of crap out there but that doesn't mean you should throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I was hoping this book would provide food for thought about the pitfalls of useless narcissism within the context of what is good and useful about these new forms of self-expression, sharing and celebration of what is best in each of us. But instead the authors preach bitterly only to their own choir, those who are interested in ranting about all that is ee-villl.
I was hoping for a rational, well-informed look at the growth of narcissism in american culture, with perhaps a discussion of the real psychological impacts. A scientific approach.
Instead what we get is a sermonizing, bitter yakfest about the evils of the internet age. Any counterpoints thrown in for the appearance of a balanced perspective are hastily made and quickly discarded as irrelevant. The authors seem to be coming from a defensive posture where their points have already been attacked. The examples they draw upon to support their cases are often the worst possible, the fringe which doesn't represent the general public. And there is much reminescing about the "good old days" when people knew their place.
I was looking really hard for a morsel of enlightenment, something unique or provocative, but there was so much judgement noise I couldn't receive a meaningful signal.
Yes, blogs, Facebook and Myspace pages are narcissistic, sometimes to an extreme degree. But they also allow each individual to share what is unique about him or herself, and in many cases to add knowledge and perspective to the community. Truly narcissistic or irrelevant information is typically filtered out of most readers' receptors anyway, and those friends who fill our streams with useless narcissistic crap are often de-friended or ignored.
The internet is evolving, and allowing everyone to share their thoughts, their attempts at creativity. Why shouldn't they be able to? This increases the chance that the next Mozart is discovered without having to have a big record deal. The next Shakespeare could appear without having to get accepted into Oprah's Book Club. Yes, there is a mountain of crap out there but that doesn't mean you should throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I was hoping this book would provide food for thought about the pitfalls of useless narcissism within the context of what is good and useful about these new forms of self-expression, sharing and celebration of what is best in each of us. But instead the authors preach bitterly only to their own choir, those who are interested in ranting about all that is ee-villl.
October 16, 2009
This is simply the worst, least intelligent book I have ever read. It is full of contradictions, poorly argued, and downright offensive at times, specifically to young people and women. Clearly the authors' own narcissism issues contributed to their egocentric perspective, which ignores important socio-political changes and technological changes of the last century. They fail to mention how the civil rights movement and a more democratic, socially mobile society would skew their "data" (which is weak at best) not to mention how technological advancements have simply made it easier for individuals to pursue their narcissistic tendencies rather than there being an actual increase in narcissistic sentiments. Additionally, the authors continuously lapse into derogations of online grammar and other frivolous topics of little relevance to their thesis with a condescending "young people today" tone. Most of the book is a non-cohesive string of superficial examples from pop culture in a feeble and unsuccessful attempt to bolster their thesis. I could hardly finish this book. It was a waste of money and time. I bought it after amazon reviews and am not sure which i have lost more faith in, the amazon review system or the qualifications and intelligence needed to attain a phd considering this book was written by not one but two phds. If I could give this book zero stars I would. The topic has some merit, but to say this book misses the boat wouldn't be harsh enough. Don't waste your time.
February 1, 2015
If you're looking to feel good about the direction society is moving in, don't read Jean M. Twenge.
In an unsurprising follow-up to Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--And More Miserable Than Ever Before, Twenge and her colleague now take on what they see as the rise of narcissism in America in recent decades. They begin with a discussion of narcissism -- how to define it and related myths and facts. They discuss possible causes, including parenting, celebrities/media, the internet, and easy credit making a self-indulgent lifestyle deceptively accessible. They identify some ramifications of increased narcissism, such as vanity, materialism, an insistence on "specialness," rudeness, relationship difficulties, entitlement in the workplace, and changing religious practices. Finally, they make predictions about future directions for narcissism and offer suggestions for countering this "epidemic."
Twenge and Campbell make some convincing arguments. They cite studies and bring examples, often humorous, that support their case. I did struggle a bit with the way that they define narcissism, for example, differentiating it into extroverted and introverted/"vulnerable" subtypes, which was a distinction that was unfamiliar to me. They differentiate between narcissism and "really high self-esteem," claiming that narcissists "think they are smarter, better looking, and more important than others, but not necessarily more moral, more caring, or more compassionate." As psychology academics who've done their research I imagine Twenge and Campbell know more about this than I do, but I did wonder whether this was an accurate statement; I've seen a lot of people behave in ways that I viewed as narcissistic who also expressed a strong sense of moral superiority. In fact, I would expect a narcissist to be more self-righteous than someone who's merely self-confident, not less so.
I appreciated Twenge and Campbell's arguing against the "myth" that narcissists are truly insecure underneath, although I wonder if this is more of a semantic or academic argument. In my encounters with people I viewed as narcissistic (although admittedly I hadn't diagnosed them clinically), their defensive reaction to critical feedback suggested a certain fragility to me that I have a hard time associating with genuine self-confidence. That being said, I definitely connected with Twenge and Campbell's views of self-esteem. I've been saying for a long time that I feel self-esteem is one of the most highly overrated concepts in today's culture; the way I see it, a realistic assessment of one's strengths and weaknesses combined with motivation and investment in improving oneself is far more useful than "high self-esteem."
Twenge and Campbell offer an interesting historical analysis of America's increasing narcissism. They suggest that, while American culture was always individualistic, the 1960s emphasis on introspection and self-improvement gradually morphed into an emphasis on self-expression in the 1970s, which became even more entrenched in the materialistic 1980s. It was around this time that America's obsession with celebrities began, followed by reality TV and all kinds of oversharing on the internet.
Parenting, too, has changed over the past several decades. In the 1950s, according to Twenge and Campbell, "Parents were often emotionally distant authority figures who rarely got down on the floor to play with their children." "Because I said so" and physical discipline characterized parental limit-setting rather than explanations and attachment-focused parenting. While Twenge and Campbell acknowledge that it's a good thing that parenting has become more sensitive and emotionally attuned, they feel that we have gone to the other extreme with helicopter parenting and failure to set appropriate limits and invoke authority. They make some good points about the overuse of praise, particularly nonspecific praise, and research-supported ramifications of its negative effects.
Twenge and Campbell then take on celebrities and reality TV as negative influences and models of narcissistic behavior. They discuss messages that may be absorbed from social media, e.g., "I must be entertained all the time"; "If you've got it, flaunt it"; "Success means being a consumer"; and "Happiness is a glamorous adult (with adulthood defined primarily in terms of sexuality)." They give commonly expressed arguments for superficial internet friendships replacing more meaningful real-time friendships, artificial self-presentation, exhibitionism on blogs and facebook and the belief that your every move is interesting, etc. They also talk about easy credit and the temptation to engage in conspicuous consumption created by buy-now, pay-later possibilities.
Twenge and Campbell claim that plastic surgery is on the rise because of increased vanity, and that materialism and greed are resulting in harm to the environment as well as mental health issues when accumulating more things doesn't result in increased happiness. In a particularly amusing chapter, they discuss the problematic nature of believing that everyone is special, citing the popularity of unusual names as a symptom of this mentality. They also discuss the increase in rudeness and aggressive behavior as attributable to more narcissism.
I also enjoyed the chapter on narcissism and relationships, particularly Twenge and Campbell's challenging the oft-cited myth that "you have to love yourself in order to be able to love someone else." They claim that, while people with low self-esteem can be clingy, anxious for reassurance, and focused on their insecurities, they also make more caring and devoted partners than do self-absorbed narcissists. I found this a provocative claim; certainly an insecure life partner presents its share of challenges. At the same time, I think it's worth considering the possibility that high self-esteem in a life partner may be overrated while a little insecurity in a life partner may not be the worst trait to have to live with.
Then, of course, there was the chapter on the work ethic. As someone who's worked with graduate students, I've spent much time with middle-aged colleagues like myself bemoaning the decline of the American work ethic, the fragility of students' egos whereas I was expected to just suck it up when I was at their stage, etc., etc. My other thought, though, being someone who came of age at an arguable transition point between the older times and the newer times, is that I had some traumatic experiences with insensitive, bullying supervisors when I was a student and might have developed more quickly and smoothly as a professional had I been able to work with more nurturing, supportive role models. I still don't know what the answer is, but I do agree with Twenge and Campbell that I've witnessed some inappropriate entitlement in some of the students I've worked with, and I kind of wonder if/when it will catch up with them.
Well, this is certainly turning out to be a long review and it's probably pretty narcissistic of me to assume that anyone is still reading. Or is it more narcissistic if I say that it doesn't matter; I just want to get my thoughts out regardless of whether they interest anyone but me? I guess I'll sum up by saying that reading the range of goodreads reviews on this book is interesting, and a lot of intelligent criticisms have been voiced, even if some of them smack of a little defensiveness. My husband complained that the authors sound like scolds, and some goodreads reviewers accuse them of a conservative agenda. More concerning are suggestions that the authors are defining narcissism too broadly and citing research improperly without the appropriate disclaimers. That being said, it's an interesting and provocative read for someone who enjoys the topic, with what I felt was a good balance of information and anecdotes/humor.
In an unsurprising follow-up to Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled--And More Miserable Than Ever Before, Twenge and her colleague now take on what they see as the rise of narcissism in America in recent decades. They begin with a discussion of narcissism -- how to define it and related myths and facts. They discuss possible causes, including parenting, celebrities/media, the internet, and easy credit making a self-indulgent lifestyle deceptively accessible. They identify some ramifications of increased narcissism, such as vanity, materialism, an insistence on "specialness," rudeness, relationship difficulties, entitlement in the workplace, and changing religious practices. Finally, they make predictions about future directions for narcissism and offer suggestions for countering this "epidemic."
Twenge and Campbell make some convincing arguments. They cite studies and bring examples, often humorous, that support their case. I did struggle a bit with the way that they define narcissism, for example, differentiating it into extroverted and introverted/"vulnerable" subtypes, which was a distinction that was unfamiliar to me. They differentiate between narcissism and "really high self-esteem," claiming that narcissists "think they are smarter, better looking, and more important than others, but not necessarily more moral, more caring, or more compassionate." As psychology academics who've done their research I imagine Twenge and Campbell know more about this than I do, but I did wonder whether this was an accurate statement; I've seen a lot of people behave in ways that I viewed as narcissistic who also expressed a strong sense of moral superiority. In fact, I would expect a narcissist to be more self-righteous than someone who's merely self-confident, not less so.
I appreciated Twenge and Campbell's arguing against the "myth" that narcissists are truly insecure underneath, although I wonder if this is more of a semantic or academic argument. In my encounters with people I viewed as narcissistic (although admittedly I hadn't diagnosed them clinically), their defensive reaction to critical feedback suggested a certain fragility to me that I have a hard time associating with genuine self-confidence. That being said, I definitely connected with Twenge and Campbell's views of self-esteem. I've been saying for a long time that I feel self-esteem is one of the most highly overrated concepts in today's culture; the way I see it, a realistic assessment of one's strengths and weaknesses combined with motivation and investment in improving oneself is far more useful than "high self-esteem."
Twenge and Campbell offer an interesting historical analysis of America's increasing narcissism. They suggest that, while American culture was always individualistic, the 1960s emphasis on introspection and self-improvement gradually morphed into an emphasis on self-expression in the 1970s, which became even more entrenched in the materialistic 1980s. It was around this time that America's obsession with celebrities began, followed by reality TV and all kinds of oversharing on the internet.
Parenting, too, has changed over the past several decades. In the 1950s, according to Twenge and Campbell, "Parents were often emotionally distant authority figures who rarely got down on the floor to play with their children." "Because I said so" and physical discipline characterized parental limit-setting rather than explanations and attachment-focused parenting. While Twenge and Campbell acknowledge that it's a good thing that parenting has become more sensitive and emotionally attuned, they feel that we have gone to the other extreme with helicopter parenting and failure to set appropriate limits and invoke authority. They make some good points about the overuse of praise, particularly nonspecific praise, and research-supported ramifications of its negative effects.
Twenge and Campbell then take on celebrities and reality TV as negative influences and models of narcissistic behavior. They discuss messages that may be absorbed from social media, e.g., "I must be entertained all the time"; "If you've got it, flaunt it"; "Success means being a consumer"; and "Happiness is a glamorous adult (with adulthood defined primarily in terms of sexuality)." They give commonly expressed arguments for superficial internet friendships replacing more meaningful real-time friendships, artificial self-presentation, exhibitionism on blogs and facebook and the belief that your every move is interesting, etc. They also talk about easy credit and the temptation to engage in conspicuous consumption created by buy-now, pay-later possibilities.
Twenge and Campbell claim that plastic surgery is on the rise because of increased vanity, and that materialism and greed are resulting in harm to the environment as well as mental health issues when accumulating more things doesn't result in increased happiness. In a particularly amusing chapter, they discuss the problematic nature of believing that everyone is special, citing the popularity of unusual names as a symptom of this mentality. They also discuss the increase in rudeness and aggressive behavior as attributable to more narcissism.
I also enjoyed the chapter on narcissism and relationships, particularly Twenge and Campbell's challenging the oft-cited myth that "you have to love yourself in order to be able to love someone else." They claim that, while people with low self-esteem can be clingy, anxious for reassurance, and focused on their insecurities, they also make more caring and devoted partners than do self-absorbed narcissists. I found this a provocative claim; certainly an insecure life partner presents its share of challenges. At the same time, I think it's worth considering the possibility that high self-esteem in a life partner may be overrated while a little insecurity in a life partner may not be the worst trait to have to live with.
Then, of course, there was the chapter on the work ethic. As someone who's worked with graduate students, I've spent much time with middle-aged colleagues like myself bemoaning the decline of the American work ethic, the fragility of students' egos whereas I was expected to just suck it up when I was at their stage, etc., etc. My other thought, though, being someone who came of age at an arguable transition point between the older times and the newer times, is that I had some traumatic experiences with insensitive, bullying supervisors when I was a student and might have developed more quickly and smoothly as a professional had I been able to work with more nurturing, supportive role models. I still don't know what the answer is, but I do agree with Twenge and Campbell that I've witnessed some inappropriate entitlement in some of the students I've worked with, and I kind of wonder if/when it will catch up with them.
Well, this is certainly turning out to be a long review and it's probably pretty narcissistic of me to assume that anyone is still reading. Or is it more narcissistic if I say that it doesn't matter; I just want to get my thoughts out regardless of whether they interest anyone but me? I guess I'll sum up by saying that reading the range of goodreads reviews on this book is interesting, and a lot of intelligent criticisms have been voiced, even if some of them smack of a little defensiveness. My husband complained that the authors sound like scolds, and some goodreads reviewers accuse them of a conservative agenda. More concerning are suggestions that the authors are defining narcissism too broadly and citing research improperly without the appropriate disclaimers. That being said, it's an interesting and provocative read for someone who enjoys the topic, with what I felt was a good balance of information and anecdotes/humor.
January 31, 2024
2★
[The book was published in 2009, and I read it just ten years ago. Here is the opening paragraph, followed by my 2014 review.]
"We didn’t have to look very hard to find it. It was everywhere.
On a reality TV show, a girl planning her sixteenth birthday party wants a major road blocked off so a marching band can precede her grand entrance on a red carpet. A book called My Beautiful Mommy explains plastic surgery to young children whose mothers are going under the knife for the trendy “Mommy Makeover.” It is now possible to hire fake paparazzi to follow you around snapping your photograph when you go out at night—you can even take home a faux celebrity magazine cover featuring the pictures. "
As a book, it makes a good, very long, easy-to-read magazine article.
I'd like to be generous and say maybe it just sounds dated because they keep talking about MySpace and saying social networking is used mostly by young people. At one point they even say they might use Facebook . . . if they were younger. I don't know the demographic for Facebook now, but I believe that seniors are the fastest growing category.
Instagram is probably more of a worry now, since it's based on selfies. I wonder what the authors are saying about selfies. Proof of their premise, I imagine.
There are some statistics and charts, but my overall impression was of a collection of anecdotes and examples of extreme 'reality' TV, all of which seemed to be represented as typical of today's youth's behaviour and tastes. I suspect a lot of viewers, even the young ones, poke fun at the outrageous birthday princesses.
I think the Beat Generation and the Hippies were just as self-absorbed but mostly couldn't reach such a wide audience. I bet most American high schools of the 50s had the cool kids (the Clique Kids in mine - pronounced Click Kids). Sports stars, cheerleaders, the usual suspects.
But now anyone can have an audience, and yes, there sure are a lot of people who think they're special and who will soon discover they aren't. As the saying goes, "Of course you're special, dear. . . just like everybody else."
Can't say I'm keen to read any of the more recent updates to this.
[The book was published in 2009, and I read it just ten years ago. Here is the opening paragraph, followed by my 2014 review.]
"We didn’t have to look very hard to find it. It was everywhere.
On a reality TV show, a girl planning her sixteenth birthday party wants a major road blocked off so a marching band can precede her grand entrance on a red carpet. A book called My Beautiful Mommy explains plastic surgery to young children whose mothers are going under the knife for the trendy “Mommy Makeover.” It is now possible to hire fake paparazzi to follow you around snapping your photograph when you go out at night—you can even take home a faux celebrity magazine cover featuring the pictures. "
As a book, it makes a good, very long, easy-to-read magazine article.
I'd like to be generous and say maybe it just sounds dated because they keep talking about MySpace and saying social networking is used mostly by young people. At one point they even say they might use Facebook . . . if they were younger. I don't know the demographic for Facebook now, but I believe that seniors are the fastest growing category.
Instagram is probably more of a worry now, since it's based on selfies. I wonder what the authors are saying about selfies. Proof of their premise, I imagine.
There are some statistics and charts, but my overall impression was of a collection of anecdotes and examples of extreme 'reality' TV, all of which seemed to be represented as typical of today's youth's behaviour and tastes. I suspect a lot of viewers, even the young ones, poke fun at the outrageous birthday princesses.
I think the Beat Generation and the Hippies were just as self-absorbed but mostly couldn't reach such a wide audience. I bet most American high schools of the 50s had the cool kids (the Clique Kids in mine - pronounced Click Kids). Sports stars, cheerleaders, the usual suspects.
But now anyone can have an audience, and yes, there sure are a lot of people who think they're special and who will soon discover they aren't. As the saying goes, "Of course you're special, dear. . . just like everybody else."
Can't say I'm keen to read any of the more recent updates to this.
August 28, 2015
Is it just me or are people increasingly behaving like self-involved, entitled, preening little piss ants?
If you think that’s a rhetorical question … actually it’s not, it’s a scientific hypothesis that can be tested through an examination of the evidence. Campbell (Professor of Psychology at the University of Georgia) and Twenge (pronounced “twangy”, Professor of Psychology at the San Diego State University) have studied the topic extensively and the evidence is conclusive. Narcissism is on the rise, and the younger the individual, the more narcissistically they behave (thus narcissism will continue to increase for many years to come).
If you have a Facebook or social media account this should come as absolutely no surprise based on a quick glance of what people are posting. We’re living in the age of “me”, our sigil is the selfie and our deity is that special someone in the mirror.
So, before we go any further we have to answer two questions:
- What behaviors characterize a narcissistic personality?
- Is being a narcissist a bad thing?
Here are the characteristics of a narcissist (from Wiki):
- An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
- Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
- A lack of psychological awareness
- Difficulty with empathy
- Problems distinguishing the self from others
- Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults
- Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
- Haughty body language
- Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them
- Detesting those who do not admire them
- Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
- Pretending to be more important than they really are
- Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
- Claiming to be an "expert" at many things
- Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
- Denial of remorse and gratitude
Is it a bad thing? Well … do the above sound like desirable personality characteristics to you? Of course not, narcissists are insufferable douchebags. They are legends in their own minds. They are the people who were born on home plate and think they hit a home run. They are the on-line commenters who think they have something to say, but whose ill-informed (and poorly spelled) opinions choke off intelligent debate. They are the reality show contestant who enters a singing competition then strides to the center of the stage and confidently belches into the mic like a frog with vocal cord polyps. And while they think they are better, smarter and more attractive than other people, here’s the thing … they’re not. Narcissists consistently score poorly on tasks that they think they are good at. Essentially, they are incompetent halfwits with terrific self-esteem.
Naturally one is left wondering where the source of the trend (the authors go so far as to call it an ‘epidemic’) lies. Their research suggests that permissive parenting is at the heart of the issue. Children who are constantly told they are special and have never been told ‘no’ have grown up to become adults with an overwhelming sense of entitlement. It is also reinforced by a culture that values individuality over commonality and self-esteem over ability.
These arguments are presented in The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement and Campbell and Twenge do a good job in the early chapters summarizing their research on the topic and the evidence in support of their thesis. They then venture into a realm more commonly associated with communist baiting McCarthyist who sees a red under every bed, only in this case the authors see a narcissist in every … uh, corner (not quite as catchy, but try coming up with a rhyme for ‘narcissist’). At any rate, they seem to believe that narcissism is the root cause of all of the world’s woes including:
- Global Warming: Narcissists are status seeking. Thus they buy huge gas guzzling SUVs that destroy the planet.
- School Shootings: Narcissists only value themselves and personal fame, thus shooting up a school to become well known is attractive to them.
- The Financial Collapse of 2008: Narcissists are greedy. Therefore they created liars loans, then bundled the crappy mortgages and sold them as Triple-A securities since they only think of themselves and their personal profits.
These statements might sound plausible to a casual reader, but in the absence of evidence they represent little more than “Just So” stories. Unfortunately, Campbell and Twenge provide nothing in the way of evidence to support these propositions, thus lending proof to the old adage “when all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail”, except if you are Campbell and Twenge everything looks like a narcissist.
The authors also claim that religion can serve as a powerful force to dampen narcissistic behavior. This conclusion obviously follows from the premise that an all-powerful, all-knowing, benevolent deity created you in its image, loves you unconditionally, has a special plan for your life and that the Earth, solar system and the billions and billions of stars, planets and galaxies that make up the universe were created specially just so that you could exist. Clearly such beliefs could in no way lead one to become a narcissist.
While the book has an interesting premise, and the early chapters contain information with some scientific merit, the remainder of the author’s execution is mediocre at best. My advice to Campbell and Twenge would be to stick to those conclusions for which ample scientific evidence exists to support your hypothesis. After all, one clear sign of narcissism is to claim to know things that you do not in fact know.
September 11, 2019
6.5/10. 8/10 when it was first published.
Dated. Needs an updated 10th anniversary edition to bring the stats (current only through 2005) and analysis up to date through: the SJW movement (which started 5 years after this was published); the accelerated breakdown of community under social media and multiculturalism (this book is old enough 'Twitter' is put in quotation marks); Generation Z and its rising rates of mental illness; the continuing, strengthened, and expanded polarization of identity politics; the ever-fissiparous and maximally narcissistic peak 'self-expression in self-esteem' of gender ideology; and the concurrent rise of the rise of the Prophet Jordan Peterson with his emphasis on all the points (and then some) the authors raise as antidotes to the Culture of Narcissism.
I will be reading Twenge's more recent book 'iGen' on Generation Z on the strength of this one.
Dated. Needs an updated 10th anniversary edition to bring the stats (current only through 2005) and analysis up to date through: the SJW movement (which started 5 years after this was published); the accelerated breakdown of community under social media and multiculturalism (this book is old enough 'Twitter' is put in quotation marks); Generation Z and its rising rates of mental illness; the continuing, strengthened, and expanded polarization of identity politics; the ever-fissiparous and maximally narcissistic peak 'self-expression in self-esteem' of gender ideology; and the concurrent rise of the rise of the Prophet Jordan Peterson with his emphasis on all the points (and then some) the authors raise as antidotes to the Culture of Narcissism.
I will be reading Twenge's more recent book 'iGen' on Generation Z on the strength of this one.
August 9, 2012
I can't even begin to tell you how much I liked this book. Really! You know you've got a winner on your hands when you've only read about the first 10 pages and find yourself nodding you head and saying "uh huh, uh huh, yep" under your breath.
If you think the world is going down the tubes, that people are more self-centered these days, that kids just have no respect for their elders, then this is the book for you. If you were raised as I was to know the value of hard work, to not expect anything to be handed to you, again, this book is for you. The authors do a fabulous job of mapping out how our current predicament can be directly traced back to the big change in parenting. Remember when it was OK to spank your kids? Remember when parents were more worried about raising their children to become productive members of society? (Or at least get them to age 18 and make them leave home, get a job, etc?) That's my generation, and sadly, one of the last to still have some semblance of a strong work ethic.
As much as I can understand where the Occupy Wall street people are coming from, I think a lot of those people are the ones talked about in this book. You know the kind: the kid that has just graduated from college and can't understand why anyone won't hire him/her, let alone pay him/her the $50,000/year that he/she just knows he/she deserves. The people that always feel that they are owed something, be it a job, recreation time, or what have you. That sort of person/people. And while the authors point out several reasons for this shift in attitude, the biggest part of the blame is laid directly at the feet of parents, specifically those that chose to be "friends" with their kids, rather than their parents.
When I grew up, my parents told me "no" - A LOT. I didn't turn out half bad, if I do say so myself. And now that I'm older and wiser, I really appreciate that they taught me that I won't get everything I want - not unless I go out and work my butt off for it. They taught me the value of hard work, and of the almighty dollar. They taught me what it means to sacrifice, and to save. And I've done pretty darn well for myself, thanks to their efforts at parenting. I'm glad they didn't want to be my friend, not until now when we're all adults, and it's more appropriate to get to know each other on that playing field.
My only complaint is that while the authors have a chapter of suggested ways of changing this tide, it doesn't seem like it's enough. That chapter actually came off a bit wimpy, as if even the authors themselves think there's just no end in sight to the me ME ME attitudes that seem to dominate our worlds now. And that's a very sad thought indeed.
If you think the world is going down the tubes, that people are more self-centered these days, that kids just have no respect for their elders, then this is the book for you. If you were raised as I was to know the value of hard work, to not expect anything to be handed to you, again, this book is for you. The authors do a fabulous job of mapping out how our current predicament can be directly traced back to the big change in parenting. Remember when it was OK to spank your kids? Remember when parents were more worried about raising their children to become productive members of society? (Or at least get them to age 18 and make them leave home, get a job, etc?) That's my generation, and sadly, one of the last to still have some semblance of a strong work ethic.
As much as I can understand where the Occupy Wall street people are coming from, I think a lot of those people are the ones talked about in this book. You know the kind: the kid that has just graduated from college and can't understand why anyone won't hire him/her, let alone pay him/her the $50,000/year that he/she just knows he/she deserves. The people that always feel that they are owed something, be it a job, recreation time, or what have you. That sort of person/people. And while the authors point out several reasons for this shift in attitude, the biggest part of the blame is laid directly at the feet of parents, specifically those that chose to be "friends" with their kids, rather than their parents.
When I grew up, my parents told me "no" - A LOT. I didn't turn out half bad, if I do say so myself. And now that I'm older and wiser, I really appreciate that they taught me that I won't get everything I want - not unless I go out and work my butt off for it. They taught me the value of hard work, and of the almighty dollar. They taught me what it means to sacrifice, and to save. And I've done pretty darn well for myself, thanks to their efforts at parenting. I'm glad they didn't want to be my friend, not until now when we're all adults, and it's more appropriate to get to know each other on that playing field.
My only complaint is that while the authors have a chapter of suggested ways of changing this tide, it doesn't seem like it's enough. That chapter actually came off a bit wimpy, as if even the authors themselves think there's just no end in sight to the me ME ME attitudes that seem to dominate our worlds now. And that's a very sad thought indeed.
February 21, 2012
This is pop psychology at it's worst. The subject matter was interesting and the fact that it was written by two psychologists seemed promising but reading through it was painful. The authors had the same repetoir of about 15 examples that they used over and over and over again. They also used anecdotes and lame attempts at humour instead of studies as examples. Not all the time, but enough times to be annoying. Throughout the book, religion is hinted at (then explicitly stated) as the cure for all narcissistic ills. This seems to make very little sense especially when the examples are brought up that seem to point to religion's ability to feed into narcissistic behaviour.
In the end, I felt like I learned no more about the subject than when I started. In fact, the same level of substance can be derived from listening to Lily Allen's "The Fear" but with much more enjoyment.
In the end, I felt like I learned no more about the subject than when I started. In fact, the same level of substance can be derived from listening to Lily Allen's "The Fear" but with much more enjoyment.
October 28, 2011
Overall, I had high expectations of this book. After all, here were some PhDs looking into some of the things about American culture that I had been ruminating over for a few years now. And overall, they touch on many of the facets that I expected: vanity, a sense of entitlement, materialism, and celebrity status. They even came up with a few that I hadn’t considered—namely easy monetary credit and the role of religion and volunteerism.
Ultimately, however, the book fell short my expectations. I found some of the methodology to be sloppy and even the definition of their main subject to be all-too encompassing. The latter was particularly annoying as they just seemed to lump every ill of society under “narcissism” without allowing for a more nuanced (and probably accurate) use of the word. And within each of those ills, they seemed to generalize the cases of narcissists to put everyone in the same boat (or at least attribute the motivations of narcissists to everyone). For example, Twenge and Campbell claim that easy monetary credit and the narcissist motivation of self-creating the “illusion of success” would account for nearly everyone struggling under financial debt. They briefly talk about the “pleasure principle” of buying stuff colliding with the “reality principle” of rational decision-making, but simply subsume this under narcissism as well, rather than the irrational behavior and short-sightedness which is common to human behavior in buying most non-essential goods since the dawn of marketing. Or in their discussion of American Idol, they claim that its popularity stems from the narcissistic appeal that the audience can affect the outcome (through voting), rather than simply the appeal of audience participation and voting for your favorites (which is counter-intuitive to the authors’ claims that narcissism is strictly about self-love and no empathy for others).
Further, their methodology seemed very shoddy at times. In some instances, they would provide numbers and graphs to back up their claims, at other times they simply made general statements like “children now have more say in their birthday parties, which often leads to requests for lavish parties like those features on MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 (pp. 171-172).” Really? I’ve never known anyone to make such a ludicrous demand; and if such demands are made in rich families (say the top 10%), then that’s a very different case to make than wide-spread narcissism epidemic (as the authors are claiming).
Twenge and Campbell also play semantic games that undermine their point. In the chapter about “uniqueness,” they argue that telling our kids they’re unique (or giving them unique—read non-modern-American—names) leads to narcissism because people are not unique. Well, we have a “mundane uniqueness” (p.190), which includes our DNA and exact place in the space-time continuum, but this doesn’t make us “special.” Okay…
They even cite “correlation” studies, apparently forgetting the mantra “correlation does not equal causation.” The decline of pirates coincided with the rise in global temperatures, but that doesn’t mean we should bring back the life of piracy to combat greenhouse gases!
The authors’ method of treating this epidemic also lacks real bite. It seems their sub-textual utopia would be to go back to the values of the 1950’s with the modern conveniences of today. (Part of this is probably because they labor under the mythology of the “Greatest Generation” of WWII). Oh, and we should also get us some real, authentic religion, fix our parenting styles, and change the way we use the internet and how the media operates. Feasible, right?
Despite all my misgivings, they do have some good points. We, as a culture, ought to be more empathetic, less self-centered, and more aware of our surroundings. Unfortunately, in my experience, most of human nature trends in the opposite of these ideals, so what can we really do to affect change? Usually, it takes a crisis of some magnitude to humble us and bind us together in solidarity (9/11). But even that tends to be short-lived (a week after the towers fell, I saw street vendors selling photos of the planes crashing into the buildings; a year later, the solemnity of Ground Zero was nearly gone as evidenced by the tourists on their cell phones at the site).
Our best bet is to try and think critically before making our decisions, inject a dose of rationality into the thought process, and not let others get on our nerves, because let’s face it, in the grand scheme of things, each of us really doesn’t matter that much. (Again, easier said than done).
Ultimately, however, the book fell short my expectations. I found some of the methodology to be sloppy and even the definition of their main subject to be all-too encompassing. The latter was particularly annoying as they just seemed to lump every ill of society under “narcissism” without allowing for a more nuanced (and probably accurate) use of the word. And within each of those ills, they seemed to generalize the cases of narcissists to put everyone in the same boat (or at least attribute the motivations of narcissists to everyone). For example, Twenge and Campbell claim that easy monetary credit and the narcissist motivation of self-creating the “illusion of success” would account for nearly everyone struggling under financial debt. They briefly talk about the “pleasure principle” of buying stuff colliding with the “reality principle” of rational decision-making, but simply subsume this under narcissism as well, rather than the irrational behavior and short-sightedness which is common to human behavior in buying most non-essential goods since the dawn of marketing. Or in their discussion of American Idol, they claim that its popularity stems from the narcissistic appeal that the audience can affect the outcome (through voting), rather than simply the appeal of audience participation and voting for your favorites (which is counter-intuitive to the authors’ claims that narcissism is strictly about self-love and no empathy for others).
Further, their methodology seemed very shoddy at times. In some instances, they would provide numbers and graphs to back up their claims, at other times they simply made general statements like “children now have more say in their birthday parties, which often leads to requests for lavish parties like those features on MTV’s My Super Sweet 16 (pp. 171-172).” Really? I’ve never known anyone to make such a ludicrous demand; and if such demands are made in rich families (say the top 10%), then that’s a very different case to make than wide-spread narcissism epidemic (as the authors are claiming).
Twenge and Campbell also play semantic games that undermine their point. In the chapter about “uniqueness,” they argue that telling our kids they’re unique (or giving them unique—read non-modern-American—names) leads to narcissism because people are not unique. Well, we have a “mundane uniqueness” (p.190), which includes our DNA and exact place in the space-time continuum, but this doesn’t make us “special.” Okay…
They even cite “correlation” studies, apparently forgetting the mantra “correlation does not equal causation.” The decline of pirates coincided with the rise in global temperatures, but that doesn’t mean we should bring back the life of piracy to combat greenhouse gases!
The authors’ method of treating this epidemic also lacks real bite. It seems their sub-textual utopia would be to go back to the values of the 1950’s with the modern conveniences of today. (Part of this is probably because they labor under the mythology of the “Greatest Generation” of WWII). Oh, and we should also get us some real, authentic religion, fix our parenting styles, and change the way we use the internet and how the media operates. Feasible, right?
Despite all my misgivings, they do have some good points. We, as a culture, ought to be more empathetic, less self-centered, and more aware of our surroundings. Unfortunately, in my experience, most of human nature trends in the opposite of these ideals, so what can we really do to affect change? Usually, it takes a crisis of some magnitude to humble us and bind us together in solidarity (9/11). But even that tends to be short-lived (a week after the towers fell, I saw street vendors selling photos of the planes crashing into the buildings; a year later, the solemnity of Ground Zero was nearly gone as evidenced by the tourists on their cell phones at the site).
Our best bet is to try and think critically before making our decisions, inject a dose of rationality into the thought process, and not let others get on our nerves, because let’s face it, in the grand scheme of things, each of us really doesn’t matter that much. (Again, easier said than done).
May 31, 2018
This was an interesting book and it was clear the authors had an interest in and had devoted a lot of time to studying narcisism. However one issue I found was the use of sweeping statements. To the authors credit they used a lot of studies, figures and examples to back their points up as would be expected in any good psychological research. However there seems to have been quite biased selection, and discarding of alternative theories. This book certainly does not offer a balanced perspective.
I lost count of the times they would state something like 'young people think', 'women do this', 'MySpace users believe this'. Some of these statements read more as opinions and some followed studies which had revealed a certain experimental group had shown a certain trend. When I was completing my psychology degree we were always told to avoid making sweeping statements instead backing up points with evidence and acknowledging when studies cannot always be generalised to a wider population. Furthermore some of these sweeping statements did not appear to be referenced to anything specific at all.
There was still some interesting and thought provoking parts of this book but this paticular part of the writing style started to annoy me very quickly. I am sure it was completely unintentional but to me it read as if the authors were claiming to have all the of the knowledge about what motivates absolutely everyone which is of course impossible, and ironically that mindset would seem almost narcissistic! I don't think think this should discourage anyone from reading this book but it was something I personally felt very aware of. There were also sections when it seemed the authors had made assumptions about individuals motives without backing these up with any qualatative or quantitative analysis, for example the use of text/slang talk when commenting on online videos. The authors attributed this to an individual feeling they are too important to waste their time writing a proper reply- there could be some truth in this but I think it would need a lot more analysis to make this assumption. What about consideration of social variables?
All of that said there was a lot of examples and seeing how these fitted with changes through history was interesting.
I would just take the claims in this book with a pinch of salt. of course Twenge would claim my questioning of her authority to be narcissistic no doubt!
I lost count of the times they would state something like 'young people think', 'women do this', 'MySpace users believe this'. Some of these statements read more as opinions and some followed studies which had revealed a certain experimental group had shown a certain trend. When I was completing my psychology degree we were always told to avoid making sweeping statements instead backing up points with evidence and acknowledging when studies cannot always be generalised to a wider population. Furthermore some of these sweeping statements did not appear to be referenced to anything specific at all.
There was still some interesting and thought provoking parts of this book but this paticular part of the writing style started to annoy me very quickly. I am sure it was completely unintentional but to me it read as if the authors were claiming to have all the of the knowledge about what motivates absolutely everyone which is of course impossible, and ironically that mindset would seem almost narcissistic! I don't think think this should discourage anyone from reading this book but it was something I personally felt very aware of. There were also sections when it seemed the authors had made assumptions about individuals motives without backing these up with any qualatative or quantitative analysis, for example the use of text/slang talk when commenting on online videos. The authors attributed this to an individual feeling they are too important to waste their time writing a proper reply- there could be some truth in this but I think it would need a lot more analysis to make this assumption. What about consideration of social variables?
All of that said there was a lot of examples and seeing how these fitted with changes through history was interesting.
I would just take the claims in this book with a pinch of salt. of course Twenge would claim my questioning of her authority to be narcissistic no doubt!
May 24, 2011
When I first saw the title of this book I thought it looked interesting. I have to admit that the authors have a good idea they are trying to present. However, they do a terrible job of presenting the topic of narcissism and are simply pushing their own agenda. You know the old saying of "Statistics are great because you can always have them show what you want". Well, that is exactly what the authors do. They use ridiculous examples that are not realistic and do not always apply to the majority of the population. They also use the same few examples over and over again. The thing that irks me the most is they have no scientific studies to back their ideas and the majority of the book is opinion. Do yourself a favor and pass on this book. If you would like to learn about curing narcissism there are two terrific articles by Ezra Taft Benson and Dieter F. Uchtdorf that I would recommend. Not only are they a whole lot better it will only take you a few minutes to read their articles rather than this pointless book. They are: Ezra Taft Benson, “Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4. and Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Pride and the Priesthood," Ensign, November 2010.
May 3, 2015
I shouldn't read books like this given I live so close to Scottsdale Arizona.
This is about the kind of people we all have to deal with on a daily basis. I doubt that a true narcissist would actually recognize themselves in these pages because: 1) they wouldn't read it, 2) they don't read, and 3) they know everything already. They're winners! This they assure us of. From their earliest days as a precious little snowflake, right up to the point they've become flaming A-holes the likes of Donald Trump.
As for the rest of us...well...it's their world, and we're just lucky enough to live in it.
This is about the kind of people we all have to deal with on a daily basis. I doubt that a true narcissist would actually recognize themselves in these pages because: 1) they wouldn't read it, 2) they don't read, and 3) they know everything already. They're winners! This they assure us of. From their earliest days as a precious little snowflake, right up to the point they've become flaming A-holes the likes of Donald Trump.
As for the rest of us...well...it's their world, and we're just lucky enough to live in it.
July 10, 2009
Twenge and Campbell cover a multitude of literature and everyday examples that provide support for believing narcissism has become and is growing as a dominant paradigm in the United States. It is amazing how many subtle aspects of narcissism are regarded as normal and acceptable in today's American culture where merely one or two decades ago the same things would be considered generally shameful.
I believe this book is a must-read for teens and parents of teens. Of course, it is never good to hand a book to someone as if to say "Here, this is what your problem(s) is." More importantly, the book helps one to recognize subtle narcissistic attitudes that make life empty to the full blown narcissism of others that is avoidable.
The book challenges to the reader to consider some values and aspects of behavior that are now fashionable as headed down a path away from joy and fulfillment. Narcissism is not a sustainable approach to life. Perhaps some "old school" values being brought back into our culture can save many a lot of heart ache and emptiness.
I felt the text got a little redundant and perhaps some lines of argument were taken a little too far beyond what was needed to clearly make the point. However, I appreciate that narcissistic values are so embedded in our culture, perhaps the excesses were only an anticipation of reasonably expected resistance and skepticism to the message. But the prose is so readable, it is really quite easy to skim over such places to get to the next point of the reader's interest. But the evidence provided seems comprehensive and convincing.
I believe this book is a must-read for teens and parents of teens. Of course, it is never good to hand a book to someone as if to say "Here, this is what your problem(s) is." More importantly, the book helps one to recognize subtle narcissistic attitudes that make life empty to the full blown narcissism of others that is avoidable.
The book challenges to the reader to consider some values and aspects of behavior that are now fashionable as headed down a path away from joy and fulfillment. Narcissism is not a sustainable approach to life. Perhaps some "old school" values being brought back into our culture can save many a lot of heart ache and emptiness.
I felt the text got a little redundant and perhaps some lines of argument were taken a little too far beyond what was needed to clearly make the point. However, I appreciate that narcissistic values are so embedded in our culture, perhaps the excesses were only an anticipation of reasonably expected resistance and skepticism to the message. But the prose is so readable, it is really quite easy to skim over such places to get to the next point of the reader's interest. But the evidence provided seems comprehensive and convincing.
Read
July 3, 2011This is pop psychology, so don't expect a sophisticated analysis of what really does seem to be a trending problem. I like the structure of the book--diagnosis, etiology, remedies--but the ideas falling under the latter two categories are disappointing in their superficiality. The authors do a very fine job of outlining the problem, providing plenty of anecdotal and research evidence of increased and increasing narcissism. Some of their ideas about the causes of this--e.g., "you deserve it" consumerism egged on by advertising--are excellent. But--uh oh!--they decline to identify capitalism itself, which is founded upon the rock of selfish accumulation, as a causal factor. Speaking of foundational rocks, they treat old-school Christianity (which teaches people that God created the world for them and is personally concerned about their most minute thoughts) as a potential remedy rather than a cause of the problem. This fits with the undercurrent of politically conservative crankiness which runs through the book, and in my view undercuts the cogent arguments that they do offer. Finally, given that lack of empathy for others is a defining feature of narcissism, I am struck by the authors' lack of empathy for clinical (as opposed to cultural) narcissism. Apart from a few good points about parenting trends that probably do foster narcissism, their advice mostly boils down to "run away from narcissists as fast as you can." Give this book to anybody who might accidentally be raising a narcissistic child or if you want tips on dealing with a narcissistic boss or coworker. Skip it if you're looking for any kind of in-depth analysis of either clinical or cultural narcissism.
October 5, 2010
Wow. It is a little difficult for me to determine my reaction to this book. On one hand, I found it to be a bit too alarmist for my taste. I tend to be wary of the many folks who shout about the eminent downfall of our society at the hands of whatever particular vice they have decided to rally against. This book definitely had that air about it. I found some of their examples to be too anecdotal and some of their best points were overused. I was also a bit disturbed when they cited some fairly oppressive societies. I was not clear if they were merely showing the extremes or actually suggesting we emulate them.
Despite this, however, I found the authors' basic idea to be incredibly insightful and compelling. I have been mulling over it ever since I finished. I am amazed at how ingrained narcissism is in our culture. So much so that I can read about it and still hear myself thinking everyday "I deserve better simply because I am special". I especially like a statement they made about the improvement society would experience if individuals focused more on what they have in common and less on what sets them apart. Flaws aside, this was good read and something we could all stand to consider.
Despite this, however, I found the authors' basic idea to be incredibly insightful and compelling. I have been mulling over it ever since I finished. I am amazed at how ingrained narcissism is in our culture. So much so that I can read about it and still hear myself thinking everyday "I deserve better simply because I am special". I especially like a statement they made about the improvement society would experience if individuals focused more on what they have in common and less on what sets them apart. Flaws aside, this was good read and something we could all stand to consider.
May 12, 2013
This was mostly the authors inviting us to join them in yuck-yummy voyeurism re the excesses of narcissistic contemporary culture: Bridezillas, My Super Sweet Sixteen, every kid getting a trophy for participating, etc.
In terms of an antidote to narcissism as a kind of 21st century malaise there was not much suggested. Better parenting. That's about it.
More disappointly there wasn't any examination of why this intense focus on our selves is so common now. There is an interesting intersection here with our hyper-sexualised culture, that sadly the authors didn't get into, apart from a very brief mention of Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture.
Overall, mildly interesting, quite enjoyable, but in the end unsatisfying.
Oh, and no, New Zealand definitely does not have a national Self Day (a day for celebrating how wonderful we all are). We have one woman (who teaches self-esteem workshops) writing a lot of press releases promoting her idea for Self Day and her associated classes. I'd never heard of it before the book prompted me to do some googling.
In terms of an antidote to narcissism as a kind of 21st century malaise there was not much suggested. Better parenting. That's about it.
More disappointly there wasn't any examination of why this intense focus on our selves is so common now. There is an interesting intersection here with our hyper-sexualised culture, that sadly the authors didn't get into, apart from a very brief mention of Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture.
Overall, mildly interesting, quite enjoyable, but in the end unsatisfying.
Oh, and no, New Zealand definitely does not have a national Self Day (a day for celebrating how wonderful we all are). We have one woman (who teaches self-esteem workshops) writing a lot of press releases promoting her idea for Self Day and her associated classes. I'd never heard of it before the book prompted me to do some googling.
October 28, 2022
I appreciate the topic and first half of the book. Cultural Narcissism is a real problem and I appreciate that the authors are drawing our attention to it. However, so much in this book is outdated. Not the science but most of the cultural references and people mentioned are either irrelevant, gone, or in a completely different situation. An entire chapter is dedicated to MySpace. While the warnings are still important, it rings rather hollow in the 2022 social media landscape.
Also, this book is a call to mainly people in the United States. There is constant cynicism about the youth while the Greatest and Silent Generations are looked at with rose-colored glasses. Not to invalidate their very important points but the snark and sarcasm seemed a bit unprofessional. Also, some points aged so poorly, especially the parts about Britney Spears.
The book is a bit bloated as well. Points are repeated a lot. Ultimately, I felt the book’s point was deserving of better treatment than was delivered.
Also, this book is a call to mainly people in the United States. There is constant cynicism about the youth while the Greatest and Silent Generations are looked at with rose-colored glasses. Not to invalidate their very important points but the snark and sarcasm seemed a bit unprofessional. Also, some points aged so poorly, especially the parts about Britney Spears.
The book is a bit bloated as well. Points are repeated a lot. Ultimately, I felt the book’s point was deserving of better treatment than was delivered.
November 25, 2009
While there are some interesting examples presented in this book, I found this book impossible to finish. What could have been an interesting read was peppered with sophomoric and sarcastic commentary that greatly detracted from any academic, professional or intelligent interpretation of the data.
With a growing number of authors demonstrating an ability to make sociological and psychological observations that are engaging while maintaining a tone of professionalism and expertise, this book was a big disappointment. Especially since the topic was so promising and interesting in and of itself.
With a growing number of authors demonstrating an ability to make sociological and psychological observations that are engaging while maintaining a tone of professionalism and expertise, this book was a big disappointment. Especially since the topic was so promising and interesting in and of itself.
Read
August 4, 2024I did not finish this.
I love reading about cultural shifts and big changes it can be hard to see when you live through them. I read Generations by this author. She talked about our cultural norm going from collective to individualistic and this rise in self centeredness is connected to that.
I love reading about cultural shifts and big changes it can be hard to see when you live through them. I read Generations by this author. She talked about our cultural norm going from collective to individualistic and this rise in self centeredness is connected to that.
October 15, 2020
HOW INTERESTING! I love academically inclined books that have real observation and message. I was aware that this was the most entitled generation, but I never considered that we are grooming a generation to be identified as narcissist... but after reading this.. I believe it.
Twenge outlines and defines why she makes the assertion that America has become a nation based on narcissism -- which as she mentions is a very positive and inflated view of the self. The outcomes are not looking good for the future. I was broken-hearted to learn that the US was 61st in high school graduation, and now I realize that I might be part of this problem as the educational system has dumbed down the work and inflated the grades to accomplish the "I am special. Look at me" generation. I have students in my classes that have not turned in one thing, done one thing, but do come to class... they are surprised that I am going to fail them.... but I didn't fail them.. but they don't realize it.
Overspending, debt, shopping, children who think they are the BEST, schools that fail to teach necessary skills, and a world full of risky, unrealistic overconfidence... We are in an epidemic and it is not COVID.
One thing I noticed was that the book was often redundant and restated what was explained in Chapter 3 and reiterated in Chapter 9. But it is an academic work, so explain and justify over and over. But the information was so well documented that it was worth all of the starts, even if I am guilty of some of it.
5 stars
Happy Reading.
Twenge outlines and defines why she makes the assertion that America has become a nation based on narcissism -- which as she mentions is a very positive and inflated view of the self. The outcomes are not looking good for the future. I was broken-hearted to learn that the US was 61st in high school graduation, and now I realize that I might be part of this problem as the educational system has dumbed down the work and inflated the grades to accomplish the "I am special. Look at me" generation. I have students in my classes that have not turned in one thing, done one thing, but do come to class... they are surprised that I am going to fail them.... but I didn't fail them.. but they don't realize it.
Overspending, debt, shopping, children who think they are the BEST, schools that fail to teach necessary skills, and a world full of risky, unrealistic overconfidence... We are in an epidemic and it is not COVID.
One thing I noticed was that the book was often redundant and restated what was explained in Chapter 3 and reiterated in Chapter 9. But it is an academic work, so explain and justify over and over. But the information was so well documented that it was worth all of the starts, even if I am guilty of some of it.
5 stars
Happy Reading.
February 23, 2022
Though the social media platforms in the book are outdated, e.g., My Space, the authors illustrate the narcissistic society I see all around me now in 2022. And social media have evolved since 2009 to be even more outrageous and more evasive of parents. It's distressing to raise teenagers in this environment because *everyone's* doing it and they don't want to be left out, which has its own risks. And a parent is just an old fuddy-duddy. Toning down the narcissism is like standing up to a tidal wave. Sigh...
Since reading this book, I plan to redouble my efforts to include them in my charity work, despite their lack of interest.
The book explains a lot and is highly recommended.
Since reading this book, I plan to redouble my efforts to include them in my charity work, despite their lack of interest.
The book explains a lot and is highly recommended.
April 5, 2021
It was clever and I enjoyed it.
December 14, 2015
I am still on a quest to find a book about narcissism that is as delicious and satisfying as Martha Stout's Sociopath Next Door. This was not it.
Despite the author's promise they were unlike all the other books, they were not. They promised empirical evidence, and indeed they did include some wonderful studies. However, they do not seem to understand how methods between studies vary. Therefore they could not provide a critical evaluation of the studies. To make matters worse, they might actually be narcissists themselves. According to them, and the DSM, narcissistic individuals have a high opinion of themselves and their ideas that are not supported by fact, credential, or independent observation. While these authors included what could at times be considered empirical evidence, most of the book consisted of their strong, yet wholly unsupported opinions about kids these days. After assuring the reader they were not taking the "kids these days" approach, they provided chapters and chapters on what they think is wrong with the world. Had these concerns been framed as testable questions, or even mere concerns, this book might have been one of the best books on the subject. After all, they did a great job of challenging the assumption that narcissistic behavior arises from low self esteem. Yet, even though I personally agree with many of their opinions, none of them were supported by the empirical studies included in the book.
Given all of that, just like the narcissist, they were entirely too enamored with their own opinions. It came off as extremely preachy. Even though I too am concerned that parents are raising their kids to be self centered and not think about others, I found myself annoyed, put off, and desperate for actual facts. This is soft science at it's absolute worst-- using the label of expert to write a whole book that should be one opinion piece.
They should have just stuck to the actual studies and perhaps included some case studies as well. I am not sure why I kept reading. I wanted to enjoy the good bits and thought maybe I could just skim the bad bits. I ended up reading the whole thing, which was definitely a waste of time. Luckily I listened on hoopla at fast speed. So, not the worst mistake. But I would not recommend. That said, this is sadly better than a lot of other books on narcissism.
When will someone actually write a good book on the subject?
Despite the author's promise they were unlike all the other books, they were not. They promised empirical evidence, and indeed they did include some wonderful studies. However, they do not seem to understand how methods between studies vary. Therefore they could not provide a critical evaluation of the studies. To make matters worse, they might actually be narcissists themselves. According to them, and the DSM, narcissistic individuals have a high opinion of themselves and their ideas that are not supported by fact, credential, or independent observation. While these authors included what could at times be considered empirical evidence, most of the book consisted of their strong, yet wholly unsupported opinions about kids these days. After assuring the reader they were not taking the "kids these days" approach, they provided chapters and chapters on what they think is wrong with the world. Had these concerns been framed as testable questions, or even mere concerns, this book might have been one of the best books on the subject. After all, they did a great job of challenging the assumption that narcissistic behavior arises from low self esteem. Yet, even though I personally agree with many of their opinions, none of them were supported by the empirical studies included in the book.
Given all of that, just like the narcissist, they were entirely too enamored with their own opinions. It came off as extremely preachy. Even though I too am concerned that parents are raising their kids to be self centered and not think about others, I found myself annoyed, put off, and desperate for actual facts. This is soft science at it's absolute worst-- using the label of expert to write a whole book that should be one opinion piece.
They should have just stuck to the actual studies and perhaps included some case studies as well. I am not sure why I kept reading. I wanted to enjoy the good bits and thought maybe I could just skim the bad bits. I ended up reading the whole thing, which was definitely a waste of time. Luckily I listened on hoopla at fast speed. So, not the worst mistake. But I would not recommend. That said, this is sadly better than a lot of other books on narcissism.
When will someone actually write a good book on the subject?
January 29, 2013
This is one of the worst books I have read that was written by two people with Ph.D.s. I don't know what they had in mind. It was trivial.
Not that I originally wrote before I started this book: "Twenge came to Endicott College a couple of years ago to discuss her book, Generation me. She and her co-author, W. Keith Campbell were in the middle of writing this book. She admitted to a group of faculty that she and Campbell were rethinking their main thesis due to the new recession and the impact it would have on this generation of college students. I am interested in reading what she has to say about the financial impact these lean years will have on what is already being called, "the lost generation"."
Not that I originally wrote before I started this book: "Twenge came to Endicott College a couple of years ago to discuss her book, Generation me. She and her co-author, W. Keith Campbell were in the middle of writing this book. She admitted to a group of faculty that she and Campbell were rethinking their main thesis due to the new recession and the impact it would have on this generation of college students. I am interested in reading what she has to say about the financial impact these lean years will have on what is already being called, "the lost generation"."
March 17, 2024
- Så mycket upprepningar
- Säkert nytänkande när den kom men tråkig nu
- Dålig ton hela tiden!!
+ Intressant ämne
+ lärt mig lite nytt
September 13, 2011
The book was as pop-psychology cheesy as I expected it to be, although it did make some valid points which I figured it would and that's why I read it. However, I think I disagree that what we see in society today is 'narcissism', I would call it old-fashioned immaturity and self-absorption. The sometimes overdramatic approach to cataloguing America's self-impressed celebrities, wannabe celebrities and Facebook/MySpace publicity whores grated on my nerves. People in rich countries - all of them, not just the US - can afford to be more self-absorbed than those from poorer countries. However, the authors do a better job of chronicling the 'self-esteem' movements foisted upon/suffered by the "millenial' generation which was told it was special and wonderful and overflowing with, like specialness and wonderfulness just by virtue of being born. It makes the case...belatedly, actually...that true accomplishment comes from having attempted things and failed, and having *earned* ones kudos, rather than expecting a trophy just for showing up to the soccer game.
If you read this book with a semi-jaundiced eye it goes down better than if you take it too seriously. It's important to remember that every generation bashes the ones that come after it...just as the "greatest generation" bashed the Boomers(um, re the 'greatest generation' - sez who, and were they, coincidentally,from the generation dubbed the 'greatest'? And is this evidence of pre-millenial, pre-Boomer narcissism?), the Boomers bashed Generation X, and now *everyone* is bashing the millennials/Generation Y. Even Socrates used to complain about them damn youngsters and their crazy-ass chariot races.
The book's strongest point is its analysis of Gen Y and the self-esteem movement. It also makes some good points about social networking sites and how the Internet has created countless 'celebrities' who've done nothing more than create a silly YouTube video or, as in the case of Paris Hilton, well, ah, hmmmm...what exactly *is* it, again, that she's famous for?
So try to tear yourself away from your mirror long enough to give this a read. ;)
If you read this book with a semi-jaundiced eye it goes down better than if you take it too seriously. It's important to remember that every generation bashes the ones that come after it...just as the "greatest generation" bashed the Boomers(um, re the 'greatest generation' - sez who, and were they, coincidentally,from the generation dubbed the 'greatest'? And is this evidence of pre-millenial, pre-Boomer narcissism?), the Boomers bashed Generation X, and now *everyone* is bashing the millennials/Generation Y. Even Socrates used to complain about them damn youngsters and their crazy-ass chariot races.
The book's strongest point is its analysis of Gen Y and the self-esteem movement. It also makes some good points about social networking sites and how the Internet has created countless 'celebrities' who've done nothing more than create a silly YouTube video or, as in the case of Paris Hilton, well, ah, hmmmm...what exactly *is* it, again, that she's famous for?
So try to tear yourself away from your mirror long enough to give this a read. ;)
November 28, 2015
Do I have to give this a star?
It's a rare thing for me to hate a book so thoroughly. There is one pervading reason why: this is a book written by two baby boomers about how inferior the younger generations are. WOW. OK. Where do I begin?
First, it's a very clever topic they've chosen- because if any of the accused generations deny this, the authors are going to point and say "Aha! Sign of narcissism! Must maintain inflated sense of self and deny criticism!" But of course, that leaves no room for discussion, so they can stuff it.
Second- why are the authors both so prematurely fossilized? They appear to be in their fifties. Heavens, why so bitter already? Shouldn't they wait a few decades before screaming at children to get off their lawn?
Third- yes, narcissism exists. Welcome to the human race. It has always been a part of life, and it always will be. Inflated sense of self leads to prioritizing your needs over others, which is generally an advantage, evolutionarily speaking. Yes, that is a bad thing, and we as ethical humans are obligated to fight that impulse, but it's not a new thing.
Fourth, and this is the clincher: this entire book reads like the authors patting themselves on the back. "We're so great, these younger generations are shit. We were so generous and they just take take take." Hello, yes, narcissism. Hypocritical much?
I want a worldwide book burning party. Let us rid the world of the scourge that is this book.
It's a rare thing for me to hate a book so thoroughly. There is one pervading reason why: this is a book written by two baby boomers about how inferior the younger generations are. WOW. OK. Where do I begin?
First, it's a very clever topic they've chosen- because if any of the accused generations deny this, the authors are going to point and say "Aha! Sign of narcissism! Must maintain inflated sense of self and deny criticism!" But of course, that leaves no room for discussion, so they can stuff it.
Second- why are the authors both so prematurely fossilized? They appear to be in their fifties. Heavens, why so bitter already? Shouldn't they wait a few decades before screaming at children to get off their lawn?
Third- yes, narcissism exists. Welcome to the human race. It has always been a part of life, and it always will be. Inflated sense of self leads to prioritizing your needs over others, which is generally an advantage, evolutionarily speaking. Yes, that is a bad thing, and we as ethical humans are obligated to fight that impulse, but it's not a new thing.
Fourth, and this is the clincher: this entire book reads like the authors patting themselves on the back. "We're so great, these younger generations are shit. We were so generous and they just take take take." Hello, yes, narcissism. Hypocritical much?
I want a worldwide book burning party. Let us rid the world of the scourge that is this book.
April 15, 2010
Narcissism and self esteem are not the same thing.
I knew that people were becoming increasingly self absorbed but had no idea the stats are as high as they are! More to the point, the statistics have been rising at an alarming rate since the 70s and are even worse now. Interestingly, the boomers were not so much so as they worked for common good rather than self good however they became parents of children with an unrealistic sense of self importance and self abilities.
The book places both our culture and parenting at fault. From what I have seen, I believe the book is on the right tract. In many families, children are the ones sitting in the driver's seat and making the decisions for the family with their parents simply adapting themselves to the child's wants at any given moment while placing their own life and responsibilities on hold. Big surprise as to what comes out of such a home. The problem is that the newly formed narcissist is detrimental to all including themself. It is no small wonder that they strive for immediate gratification in early marriages, early families, large homes, huge debt etc. having had very few if any requests denied.
The author provides numerous studies dating back to the 1030s to validate their claims. It is not a book of simple opinion.
I knew that people were becoming increasingly self absorbed but had no idea the stats are as high as they are! More to the point, the statistics have been rising at an alarming rate since the 70s and are even worse now. Interestingly, the boomers were not so much so as they worked for common good rather than self good however they became parents of children with an unrealistic sense of self importance and self abilities.
The book places both our culture and parenting at fault. From what I have seen, I believe the book is on the right tract. In many families, children are the ones sitting in the driver's seat and making the decisions for the family with their parents simply adapting themselves to the child's wants at any given moment while placing their own life and responsibilities on hold. Big surprise as to what comes out of such a home. The problem is that the newly formed narcissist is detrimental to all including themself. It is no small wonder that they strive for immediate gratification in early marriages, early families, large homes, huge debt etc. having had very few if any requests denied.
The author provides numerous studies dating back to the 1030s to validate their claims. It is not a book of simple opinion.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 418 reviews