Something I Can Never Have

by KouriArashi

Steter Fanfic
Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
It's been over five years since the last time Peter Hale left Beacon Hills, when Stiles shows up on his doorstep. The pack has been killed, Stiles is the only survivor, and Peter is going to help him get his revenge whether he likes it or not...
Words:61180 complete

Genres: Fan Fiction, M M Romance, Shapeshifters, Paranormal, Magic, Dark

184 pages, ebook

First published May 1, 2014

Reviews

[Lilia Ford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another by KouriArashi that I put off reading because the premise sounded horribly bleak. In fact, it's quite similar in structure and mood to Devil of Mercy and most of her other Steters. Stiles is in a really horrible spot at the beginning of this, with Scott et al having just been murdered, but he probably suffers less in this story than he does in Divided We Stand or Sympathy for the Devil, with their lengthy sections of bullying and abuse. He and Peter develop a good working relationship early on, and you can totally see how they'd both be invested in pursuing a vendetta.

I've always appreciated KouriArashi's take on both of these characters and their relationship: that they share a tendency towards unscrupulousness and deviousness which draws them together both as lovers and as co-conspirators. For all the first season Derek/Stiles fireworks that have launched a bajillion GIFs and 50K fics and counting, the two of them are nothing alike--not in personality and not interests. This is truly a case of opposites attract. But go back and rewatch the scene in the garage in Season One's Code Breaker and you'll see that that tension and spark are also there between Peter and Stiles--with the added extra that their chemistry comes from being more alike than either would like to admit.

More than most Steter authors, KouriArashi grasped the potential embodied in their hidden compatibility and has made something of a specialty nurturing the hints there into a series of amazingly well-developed, highly readable fics.

Bottom line: if you like any of her other Steters you will like this.

[Valerie ❈M/M Romance Junkie❈ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread 6/24/2020

1/29/2019 I still can’t believe that I love this story considering how big of a wimp that I am. This story is brutal.

1/7/2018 I need fluff stat. Thankfully, I have fluffy Steter waiting in the wings.

1/20/2017 the fact that I keep reading this is enough to push it to 5 star status

6/24/2016. I read this a little over a year ago. I thought it was brutal, and I still think so now. But Stiles getting revenge is really a sight to behold.
____________
I cannot believe that I went back and finished this. Considering how much of a wimp I am, it speaks volumes to how much I enjoy KouriArashi's fics. In the end, even through the violence, this was really good. It's very brutal, but I was able to overcome that to see the greatness that is the combo of BAMF!Stiles and manipulative!Peter. (6/17/2015)

[Dreamer · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent Steter fanfic. Stiles (now in his mid twenties) comes to Peter to ask for help in avenging the deaths of alpha Scott and the rest of the pack. The guys become close as they set about a vendetta to kill the coven of witches responsible. I really enjoy this pairing, more so than Sterek, Peter is an intriguing character and a good match for BAMF Stiles in this fic.
Art by Marcianca

“I want (Stiles) to be all right,” Peter said, “because I don’t think I can be all right without him.”

[Jilrene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love this book! It's at least 4.5 BAMF!Stiles stars

[Day-thief]

DNF at 60%. No UST (implied, but never shown), no romance, and most importantly no mind games. Peter lacks all deviousness and is essentially reduced to boring side-kick. The story doesn't offer much in the way of suspense, either, despite a bloody vendetta against 13 witches.

[Maiko-chan [|]]

Dropped at 13%.

Just can't get into it and if Day-thief's review is anything to go by then there isn't much point in continuing. I'm gonna try a couple more by this author before I call it quits; probably a Sterek for now since these two Steters I've tried haven't worked out so far.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

KouriArashi starts this be saying that it's probably the darkest thing she's ever written, and I get that in that the entire pack has died. But in other ways, I didn't find it that dark. Over the course of Peter helping Stiles with his vendetta they address some emotional issues, and Peter is surprisingly supportive. I loved their interactions, and I thought their characters were both portrayed very accurately. There was just the right amount of sex, and the scenes were hot but not overly drawn out. Well done. Although it ends on a perfect hopeful note, I'd love another one to see how they're doing how Peter is received in Beacon Hills, who he adds to his pack, do Derek and Cora come back?

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

Blurb:
Steter Fanfic
Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
It's been over five years since the last time Peter Hale left Beacon Hills, when Stiles shows up on his doorstep. The pack has been killed, Stiles is the only survivor, and Peter is going to help him get his revenge whether he likes it or not...

[Ekollon]

Why is this on my "Currently Reading" list from two years ago? Clearly I am not currently reading it. Maybe it was wonderful, but I don't remember it at all. Maybe I'll pick it up again, but I'm obviously not currently reading it. I need to stop this. "Currently Reading" does not mean "to be read."

[Anna Kļaviņa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Teen Wolf
Stiles/Peter
AU – All my friends are dead

You are such a complete narcissist. That's why you actually like me. Because you like you, and I remind you of you.

KouriArashi says that Something I Can Never Have (completed on 2014) is the darkest fic she has ever written but I'm currently readingher Tangled Webs (completed on 2013) and that , imo, is so much darker.

I wouldn't call Something I can never have dark, yes, bad things happened to push Stiles (and Peter) over the edge but they're off screen. Personally, I saw this as hurt/comfort fic.

So if anyone is put off reading because of the authors’ warnings give it a try.

The story begins when Stiles shows up on Peter's doorstep. It has been years since they saw each other, Stiles has lost everyone he loves (except Melissa) and has recovered physically enough to seek Peter's help.

In exchange for Peter’s help Stiles agrees to become emissary for Peter’s pack. Both of them know it’s not the real reason, and what I like is that, Peter himself is not 100% sure exactly why he does it.

When they relationship turn from allies to lovers it’s surprisingly tender and more importantly healthy relationships.

"I want him to be all right," Peter said, "because I don't think I can be all right without him."

And for the record KouriArashi writes amazing Peter and she brings him to life and gives his character more life than the show does. That’s why I like good fanfics. For an example, on why Peter killed Laura

"Why did you kill Laura?"
[...]
"Because I hated her."

"Why?"

"After the fire, Laura and Derek left Beacon Hills," Peter said. "You knew that, didn't you?" he added, and Stiles nodded. "They went to New York City. I can't really blame Derek for it. He was only a teenager, and probably even more fucked up about the whole thing than I was. But Laura was an adult. She was an alpha. She was my alpha. And she left me here. She left me to rot in the hospital. Do you have any idea how easy it would have been for Kate Argent to walk into the long-term care ward and cut my throat? Hell, I'm still not sure why she didn't."

Stiles sat up, drawing one knee to his chest. "Maybe Laura was just scared."

"Maybe she was," Peter said, "but at the very least, she could have had me moved to a facility in New York. She could have checked me in somewhere under a false name. She could have done a lot of things besides leaving me to suffer alone." He found the words spilling out of his mouth with bitter venom, despite his efforts to stem them. "She left me. I lost my family, too. But unlike Laura and Derek, I lost all of it, because they left me alone." He took a breath. "If I hadn't needed to kill Laura, I wouldn't have. But I did. I needed the alpha power. So I killed her."


Nine Inch Nails - Something I Can Never Have

[Skye Blue ☆*~ﾟლ(´ڡ`ლ)~*☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very enjoyable. Not as dark as I was thinking it would be. But I almost always like a Peter/Stiles pairing, the work so well together. The banter was nice. Peter was a little tamer than normal. But the story was entertaining. I like BAMF Stiles, and Magic stiles.

[Mj · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very involving story

[GrEatE · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5*

[MostlyDelores · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super dark. Good though.