The Language of Remembering

by Patrick Holloway

Returning from Brazil with his wife and daughter, Oisín is looking to rebuild a life in Ireland and reconnect with his mother, Brigid, who has early onset Alzheimer’s. As her condition deteriorates, she starts to speak Irish, the language of her youth, and reflects on her childhood dreams and aspirations.
Mother and son embark on a journey of personal discovery and as past traumas are exposed, they begin to understand what has shaped them and who they really are.
The Language of Remembering asks how we connect to the people we love and how we move on from the past to find meaning in the present.

Genres: Ireland, Fiction, Family, Literary Fiction, Contemporary, Irish Literature

242 pages, Paperback

Published February 25, 2025

Reviews

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book moves between two timelines. In the present day, Oisín has returned to Ireland from Brazil along with his wife Nina and young daughter Ailish. The author deftly explores the conflict between Oisín’s sense of responsibility for the care of his mother and the disruption caused to the family by their move from Brazil, Nina’s native country. His struggles to find a job that will enable them to obtain a mortgage and move into a permanent home only add to his sense of guilt and frustration. His experiences are narrated in the second person which I found had the effect of giving immediacy to Oisín’s struggles, forcing me to place myself in his situation.

Brigid’s story starts in the 1970s, in rural Ireland. Whilst still a teenager, she discovers she is pregnant. Learning of her condition, her parents react with a mixture of anger and disappointment, well aware of the social stigma this will bring to Brigid and their family. Brigid and James, the father of her child, are pressurised into a hasty wedding by their respective families.

Brigid and James begin to realise their lives will have to take a very different trajectory, the responsibilities of parenthood putting paid to their personal ambitions. They also struggle to extricate themselves from the influence of James’s controlling family. But the birth of her son Oisín, albeit after a very difficult birth, brings Brigid unexpected joy.

With Brigid’s condition worsening, Oisín’s visits to his mother in her care home are often challenging. Sometimes she can recall events from her early life in detail, sharing things Oisín never knew, or remember vividly moments of their life when he was growing up. At other times, she seems in a world of her own, confused by her surroundings. There are heartbreaking moments that will be familiar to anyone who has cared for someone with Alzheimer’s such as when Brigid mistakes Oisín for her dead husband, James, or becomes distressed because of a misunderstanding.

As the title suggests, language and communication are key themes of the book. Along with Brigid’s declining memory is her increasing use of Gaelic, a language she spoke with her father but one Oisín does not understand, although he makes touching efforts to do so as the book progresses. The author includes the reader in this challenge by, from time to time, incorporating phrases in Gaelic without translation, placing us in the same position as Oisín in searching for clues as to their meaning.

Alongside the challenges of communication, I liked how the book explored the vibrancy of language. For example, Brigid’s mother, Kathleen, possesses an extensive vocabulary and interest in the etymology of words. Her speech is peppered with words such as ‘subjugated’, ‘euphemism’, ‘quandary’. And Oisín recalls time spent with his father learning the collective names for birds. However Oisín also knows the ability of words to wound.

The Language of Remembering is a moving and perceptive story about the role language plays in our interactions with others, and how it can be both a barrier and a pathway to understanding.

[Sharon Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should come with a warning: do not read in public. It will make you cry. But in a good way. It is the story of Oisín, adult only child, and his mother, Brigid who is suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s. The narrative is split into two timelines: now, Oisín returned to Ireland with his Brazilian wife, Nina, and their daughter Ailish, to look after his mother, and then, the story of Brigid herself, when she falls pregnant while still in school and unmarried in the 1970s. The writing is felt, visceral, and the depiction of Oisín is haunting. Saudade is a word used in the book and it permeates the writing, a visceral kind of loneliness and longing. As his mother is losing her memory, Oisín is skating over his own lost memory and unresolved grief regarding the death of his father. The book is shot with many clever parallels, flashbacks of his mother’s pregnancy with him, interspersed with his wife’s pregnancies, the play with language from the title as Oisín tries all ways he can to communicate with his mother, the Gaeilge of her childhood beautifully juxtaposed with the elevated vocabulary of his grandmother. Although the subject matter is bleak, even dark at times, the quality of the writing is such that it never dips into maudlin, the whole narrative shot through with brilliantly observed moments and wrapped in many shades of love. Can’t wait to read more from this wonderful writer.

[Shauna Ní Scannláin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning writing.
Very emosh 😢
I loved the memory motif throughout and how it was the son who needed reminding just as much as his mother, how talking about memories brought them closer.

[Aoife Cassidy McM · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book the moment I heard about it at the beginning of the year. I picked up a copy at the International Literature Festival in Dublin in May.

Published in February by Epoque Press, I wouldn’t be surprised to find this beautiful Irish debut novel on prize lists later this year. With echoes of Louise Kennedy and Elaine Feeney, the novel explores themes like belonging, connection, familial love and language through the story of one man and his mother, Oisín and Brigid.

In a dual timeline, simply called Then and Now, the relationship between Oisín, who has just moved home from Sao Paolo with his wife Nina and their daughter Ailish, and his mother Brigid, who gave birth to him at a very young age in 1970s Ireland is gently revealed. Brigid has been recently diagnosed with early onset dementia, and while Oisín grapples with the diagnosis and the move home to Ireland, past traumas are unearthed.

Through little breadcrumbs dropped, I figured the year in the Then is 1977, a time before Ireland underwent huge social change and pregnancy before marriage still carried with it huge stigma.

The writing is stunning, the narratives contrast nicely with each other - Oisín’s is in the second person, and Brigid’s is in the third person. I devoured the book in a day by the pool, and shed a tear reading the last chapter. Recommend. 4/5⭐️

[Mark Stevens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant literary fiction dealing with a son taking care of his mother who has moderate dementia. I heard about this book on book tube.Unfortunately, my local library system did not have this book and neither did Libby so I bought it on Kindle. It moves between two timelines, one being the present day when Bridget‘s son has come home from Brazil with his wife and child to take care of his mother in Ireland. The other timeline deals with Bridget as a teenage mother. In some ways, this book is a simple book, plot, wise, but the character development is stellar

[Daniel Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5, enjoyed some parts and struggled with others. Wouldn’t recommend finishing the last chapter in public 🥲

[Leigh Delaney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Filled with emotions and very relatable! Read this book in two days, one of the fastest books I’ve read because I just couldn’t put it down!

[Rachel Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book stirred a lot in me. I felt everything from anger and pity to deep empathy and quiet heartbreak. Early on, I found myself frustrated with certain characters - resenting James, aching for Brigid, wanting to yell at Oisín - but by the end, I had a much fuller understanding of who they were and how they became that way. That kind of emotional evolution is rare and beautifully done.

This is a story filled with grief and love, with memory and silence, and with so much quiet ache. Kathleen was a bright light throughout the story for me, and the presence of Tommy’s memory brought a tenderness that lingered long after I finished. It is heavy, yes, but it’s also layered with hope. That balance between heartbreak and healing, sorrow and love, is what makes this story so powerful.

The book moves between past and present, and that structure is handled with such care. Each shift is purposeful, clear, and never confusing, which is not easy to pull off. Everything feels connected and woven with intention.

There’s something deeply personal about this story. I think a lot of people will find pieces of themselves in it, whether in the grief of someone they’ve lost, or the ache of knowing that loss is still ahead. It is both sentimental and foreshadowing, and that’s what makes it hit so hard.

A beautifully written, emotional story about family, memory, and what it means to carry love through time.

[K Burke · Rating 3 out of 5]

meh

[Lisa Cross · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this

[Katie McCaughey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A tender narrative documenting the fragility and tentative nature of ordinary humanity, love and relationships. A brilliantly delicate representation of witnessing a loved one change due to Alzheimer’s and the change in relationship this brings. A very touching read.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lyrical, sad,hopeful. Brilliant.

[Baltic Thought · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't often write reviews, but this book absolutely knocked me sideways. I adored it, highlighted so many gorgeous passages, wished that I could spend more time with these characters. It's a profoundly beautiful meditation on the power of memory, the strength of family bonds, and how intense love and grief can often intersect in overwhelming, yet illuminating, ways. An emotional, riveting read.

[Sammi Rogers · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible debut 💫

[Jessica Grene · Rating 4 out of 5]

This a really well-written, touching story. It evokes the dual timelines masterfully. The characters are depicted in a true-to-life, unsentimental way, but with compassion.

[LindaJ^ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about Oisin and his mother Bridget, with Oisin's wife Nina and Bridget's mother Kathleen having good-sized secondary roles.

Oisin, Nina, and their young daughter have returned from Brazil (where Oisin met and married Nina) because Oisin's mother has early onset Alsheimer's disease. They are living in a rented house they do not like and Oisin is desperate to get a job that will permit him to get a mortgage so they can have their own house. Oisin is having great trouble dealing with his mother's disease. And he avoids his grandmother out of what seems to be his shame for how much he struggles with spending time with his mother. Oisin and Nina take jobs that neither particularly likes but Nina gets along better than Oisin. When Bridget has to go to a home, Kathleen works to have Oisin accept that he can move into Bridget's house -- the one he grew up in.

Bridget's story focuses on when she became pregnant and how that impacted various family relationships as well as her own life. Bridget and James do marry. James' parents are overbearing and controlling. Bridget's father is devastated. Kathleen is solid. Bridget was brilliant and eager for college. James was the son of wealthy parents and a soccer star who has an offer to play in England. Kathleen spoke Gaelic with her father. Kathleen had and has a tremendous volcabulary and required Bridget to look up the words she did not understand.

As Bridget memory deteriorates, she begins speaking more and more in Gaelic, which Oisin does not understand. He signs up for a night class to learn it but is not progressing very fast.

Through the two storylines we learn about James' death and a young age, Oisin's belief that he failed in getting help fast enough, the love between James and Bridgit, and what an anchor Kathleen is.

Key issues are language, memory, belonging, family connections.

[Mairead Hearne (swirlandthread.com) · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Rating ~ 4.5*

‘You do not say anything but want to get up and run out of the house. The sitting room is the same as it was twenty years ago, you sit in the same armchair, your mother sits in the same place, the windows look out on the same houses, yet everything is different, and it makes you feel nauseous.’

The Language of Remembering by Patrick Holloway published in February 2025 with Epoque Press and is described as a novel that ‘asks how we connect to the people we love and how we move on from the past to find meaning in the present’.

Patrick Holloway lived and worked in Brazil for many years before coming back to Ireland with his young family a few years ago. Since his return he has openly spoken about his struggle to settle back into the rhythm of life here. Patrick moved home during the Pandemic and it was a culture shock for all. With a lingering sense of what he left behind and of the person he once was, he started to write, to try to make sense of these feelings he was experiencing.

In The Language of Remembering Oisín returns from Brazil with his wife and daughter to start the next chapter of their lives. Brigid, Oisín’s mother, has early onset Alzheimer’s and is starting to lose more and more of her memories as time slips by. Oisín’s father passed away many years previously, so the relationship between mother and son has always been close. Seeing her like this now is challenging for Oisín and he is beginning to question his decision to return to Cork.

As the reality of the daily grind hits home, Oisín is soon struck with his naivety when making the decision to come back to Cork. Living in rented accommodation, scraping together enough money to just exist, he starts to doubt his own self worth and his sense of being. Seeing Brigid slip away from him is tough. She persists in speaking to him in Irish and as Oisín does not have the same command of his native tongue, he finds it more and more difficult to understand her.

With chapters entitled Now and Then, we are given insights into Brigid’s early years and the personal struggles she faced growing up in a very upright Catholic society. Interweaving the different periods of time, a gorgeous story unravels, one of rediscovery, connection and memory. There is a raw quality to Patrick Holloway’s writing, depicting a vulnerability, almost like we are seeing his true self. This tale is fictional but I have no doubt that there are many factual elements filtered through the pages. Many readers will resonate, in particular, with the storyline about ageing, and the difficulties that presents, when we see a decline in our once vibrant parents. It’s a shocking reality and for those with dementia, it’s even more upsetting for all involved. The scenes with Oisín and Brigid are truly heart-breaking as he tries to find moments of lucidity, something to anchor him to her, something to remind him of the person she once was.

The Language of Remembering has been described by Elaine Feeney as ‘a beautiful meditation on family, love and the fragility of remembering’ with many more writers adding their praise for Patrick Holloway’s stunning prose. The characters feel real. The storyline feels real. The place is real. All this authenticity combines into a novel that has connected with so many.

Dignified, emotive and insightful, The Language of Remembering is a refined and polished debut, one I readily recommend to all.

[Noel Corcoran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have just finished reading the beautifully written debut novel, The Language Of Remembering by the so very talented Patrick Holloway @hollowaywriter2 The Language Of Remembering is a moving and perceptive story about the role language plays in our interactions with others, and how it can be both a barrier and a pathway to understanding. Patrick is a true wordsmith who beautifully crafts sentences and uses language in ways that move and resonate so deeply with readers. The Language Of Remembering is published by @epoque_press

[Kerri · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5ish? rounding up... It was interesting and I flew through it but didn't hit the mark as much as I thought it would. needs more Irish and less irrelevant b plot

[Evelyn Herold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow great character driven book. Loved the back and forth in time and alternating character chapters. Sometimes life chooses for you.

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m not going to give any spoilers but I am going to say, you really should read this book. I read it through the night in one sitting because the writing is so good. I couldn’t put it down. I loved everything about it…the second person narrative, the beautiful prose/quality of the writing, the depth of feeling, exploration of language etc. Utterly readable. Fantastic

[Malina Douglas · Rating 5 out of 5]

A powerful story told in clear, lucid prose that sometimes sucks you away like the tide, out to a sea of glorious words. From the Oisin's return home in the first chapter, wrecked by exhaustion, I was pulled into the lives of him and Nina. Holloway has a light touch for description, yet just enough that the story feels real and immersive, the emotions looming larger than life.
I really liked the structure of the book, how it shifted back and forth from Oisin's life to the life of his mother, Brigid, but you never feel lost because each chapter is titled Then or Now, and Oisin's parts are written in second person, while his mother's are written in close third person. The second person narration is an unusual choice but Holloway makes it work impressively well, till you feel completely immersed in Oisin's viewpoint.
Brigid's story is equally compelling as she wrestles with a tangle of emotions. You can feel her age as a conflicted seventeen year old going through an experience that is pushing her to grow up too fast. Holloway is great at conveying the claustrophobia of small town life, where the anticipation of being judged is just as bad if not worse than the reality.
The plotting is excellent. The two sides of the story feel balanced, keeping the reader immersed as Holloway builds up the tension to moments of high emotion.

I assumed that most of the book would be about Oisin taking Irish classes, but that was only part of a bigger story of him reconnecting with his mother. There was also less Portuguese than I had imagined from the first chapter. I would loved to have seen more of Oisin's English clashing with Nina's Portuguese and him more of explaining more funny phrases, as she tries to fit into life Ireland. But those are good signs that I wanted this book to go on.
I'd be happy to keep reading this story through Ailish's childhood till she grows up and has children of her own!
It's poignant, emotional, sad yet uplifting and a book that will stay with you.

[Paul Waldron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a lovely, gentle book. Holloway captures the essence of the Irish family in the 1960’s and 70’s and our complicated relationships. He touches on the hypocrisy that lies beneath the Catholic surface.
As a male writer he has a persuasive insight into a woman’s emotions in her most traumatic moments.

[Domey · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a beautiful book with well written characters that feel like real people i got to know.
I loved the little sprinkle of Irish in the book, I had to do some touching up on my own Irish to know what it all meant 😅

[Soracha · Rating 5 out of 5]

The dual timeline makes this truly difficult to out down. As Oisin is struggling with how he is losing his mother’s personality you are getting to know her and that makes it so much more poignant.
That’s not to say the book is inherently sad. It’s a story of family and home and belonging and language - beautifully written. It’s so relatable, warm and at times funny. The people feel so real and lived in.
I so enjoyed this book and recommend it to anyone. I also feel my vocabulary has bloomed thanks to Brigid and Kathleen.

[Sean myers · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5 great stuff

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a slow reader but I absolutely tore through this. The writing flows without hitch or catch, the pages turning themselves really. It is sad, tender, poetic and unexpectedly funny.

But what surprised me was how made me think about language in a way I never had before. How language is like a fingerprint, something entirely unique to us, but it’s not something we’re born with, it’s the culmination of our experience. The words we say, and the words we don’t, are all a result of the lives we’ve lived. Like laugh lines around your eyes or a scar on the back of your hand.

How did the author manage to get me to come to this conclusion? It’s through a series of gentle prompts and suggestions, the reader is gently invited to consider what should be obvious but really isn’t. And it’s all done so simply. The mother who suffers from early-onset dementia loses the ability to speak English. And her son is forced to learn a new language to communicate with her. But he is also forced to learn a new language to communicate with himself and his new life back in Ireland. The grandmother who loves to use strange and beautiful words. The Grandfather who only speaks Irish. All of this steers the reader to consider language as something more than just a tool, a function, and instead suggests it might be something much more.

It was one of the most profound books I’ve ever read actually, and as beautiful as the main narrative was, there’s so much more going on here. All the things the characters say, and all the things they want to say but are afraid to, then there are all the things they want to say but don’t know how to say them. Just wow. Really really beautiful and deeply affecting. I know this book will stay with me for a long time. I highly recommend it.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The Language of Remembering by Patrick Holloway

The story is told not only from Oisin’s perspective in the present day but also from his mum, Brigid’s in the 1970s, when she became pregnant with Oisin at a very young age.

Oisin has returned to Ireland with his wife Nina and daughter Ailish after years of living in Brazil to make a new life and to care for his mother Brigid, who was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Oisin is dealing with a lot of change, not only moving his family to a new continent, but also the huge change in his mother since he last saw her.

They start to reminisce, and this causes his mother to start conversing in Irish. Oisin struggles to understand her, and he begins to feel lost from his mother. He takes an Irish class to help him connect with her.

This was a beautifully written story of familial love between Brigid and Oisin and how language plays a major role in their connection and with others. Nina had a good grasp of English, but she felt she connected better with Oisin when they conversed in her language. He remembers how alone and disconnected he felt when he first moved to Brazil and was unable to join in on conversations because he hadn’t yet learned the language.

I loved how Holloway portrayed the wonderfully strong and charismatic women in this story, such as Brigid, her mother, Nina and my favourite no-nonsense character, Oisin’s Granny.

This was an exceptionally tender debut about a topic very close to my heart, which I found realistic and sensitively written. I will be surprised if this book doesn’t end up on some Booker Prize lists, and I am looking forward to what this author produces next.

[Paula Levallois · Rating 5 out of 5]

I strongly recommend reading this novel. I enjoyed it immensely. It is poetic and moving, and the characters are deeply endearing. My favourite, without a doubt, is Brigit. What I loved most about the book is the way it explores the relationship between memory, history, and language: for me, the true protagonist of the novel is language itself. The language of childhood, of our ancestors, of our people—the languages we acquire, and those we lose and must recover in order to be able to say, and to think, what we truly have to say. It is a book that speaks to who we are, and to who we choose to be. Do not miss the chance to read Patrick Holloway!

[Fleury · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a fairly good book, not the best book I've read recently, but certainly not the worst.
Wonderful characters, every one of them. I really liked poor Bridget.
The book started off funny - minging/ minger.
Unfortunately I had to use my Kindle dictionary ALL THE TIME for words like "ineluctable" "taciturn" "meretricious" "seraphic" "aciculate" "befuddled" "eidetic" "intractable" etc etc etc.
And phrases "delectable separation"
Other they way I disliked not being able to work out many words it was a very good book.
If you are happy to put up with very confusing vocabulary then I'd say you would enjoy it.