It's Mother-Pucking Christmas!

Maplewood Falls #1

by Alina Jacobs

When your grandmother stalks the star hockey player on the rival team because “You need a husband, Dakota—you’re not getting any younger!” it’s Christmas crazy on ice.
It is not, however, the start of our great love story.
I don’t date guys on that team.
He doesn’t do casual, drunken hookups, which is all the captain of the Icebreakers is getting from moi.

I give him the finger and tell him I hope he loses his teeth out there.
He smirks and wins the game because both this Christmas season and this hockey season are a fucking scam.

Then my younger, much dumber brother informs me that he owes his bookie a bunch of money and really needs the Icebreakers to lose their next game, and could I pretty please be an amazing big sis and date their captain then break his heart so he’ll suck and lose the game—otherwise little bro will get killed, or worse, our mom will find out.

As much as I eye roll my overly large, overly loud family, I’d do anything for them.
Including date the captain of the Icebreakers.

Barf.
Ryder is a Boy Scout. He doesn’t swear. He uses words like ma’am and sir. On our date, he opens my door, pulls out my chair, and helps me with my coat. He even volunteers at the local animal shelter and loves handmade sweaters.
No, it is not cute! Three warm, gooey cinnamon rolls dressed up as a six-five, hot AF hockey player are not my type.
At all.
Nope.

Santa better bring me something nice this Christmas for all my pain and suffering!

In bed though?
Let’s just say sleeping with the captain of the Icebreakers… is not going to be a problem.

Genres: Christmas, Holiday, Romance, Sports, Hockey, Sports Romance, Hockey Romance

238 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 21, 2024

About the author

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I'm your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

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Reviews

[Chloe Meyers · Rating 2 out of 5]

That…….was painful.

The only reason it got two stars is because 1) Dasher and 2) when the spice spiced, boy did it.

That was easily the most chaotic book I’ve ever read. It was thankfully fast paced and read that way, however it was SO fast paced it didn’t make much sense and was all over the place. Dakota was pretty insufferable (I will give her that drunkenly beating up hockey players, on ice, in the middle of the game, was incredibly badass, and I too puke in the bushes like a true goddamn American), and dear LORD when they said Ryder was a Boy Scout they weren’t kidding. He was a sweet kid with trauma but dude CALM DOWN. You don’t love the woman you hated 2 days ago but suddenly after one dinner she’s the woman you’ve been searching your whole life for. I know this is fiction but let’s be a little realistic here….

Anyway 87 stars in theory for Dasher’s wonderful existence, the king we needed!!!

[O’rion Risher · Rating 1 out of 5]

This has got to be the most cringeworthy read of the year for me. It wasn’t cringe in a good way though. It was over the top obnoxious and stupid.

They had a small, brief conversation where he spewed about being a foster kid and she felt bad and invited him to her big family gathering. They hardly spoke the entire gathering and then he decides he now likes her… umm how? You don’t know anything about her aside from her wanting to have sex with you and forget your name… he’s using her so he can get an insta big family and she’s using him to help her brother win money.

Really dumb storyline and I couldn’t stand the main characters. I tried to get on board, but he acts like he’s 7 and has never heard curse words while he’s legit been through foster care and is captain of a hockey team. She’s really rough around the edges and seems to be very selfish, except for giving him the wish to be around a big family.

Everything goes way too fast and awkward, everyone switches from hating him to loving him and trying to get them married off asap and it screws the timing.

The author tried way too hard to make this all seem funny, but it wasn’t. Add on his teammates and how cringey they all were and how they were helping him get ready and such… nope. It’s just bad!

[Veronica (Honey Roselea Reads) · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolutely hate the fml and how she talks.

[Elle G. Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve liked a couple of books written by this author, but this book was just awful. The FMC is over the top vulgar, her family basically makes her out to be sl*tty (and think it’s hilarious and normal), and she has 0 redeeming qualities. The hero is fine- I loved how much of a cinnamon roll he was, but it wasn’t enough for me to like this book. I don't think its very festive either so hard pass!

𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: ⭐⭐

[Emily Utsch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Boy scout on the outside but dirty talk champion in the bed! Will make you blush!

Hockey, insta love, he falls first, revenge, rival hockey teams, large extended family vs foster kid, and hot hot HOT spice!!!

This is the first book in the series and can be read as a stand-alone. However, it is a spinoff of another series (Wynter), so you have met many of the characters before. However, everything you need to know will be given to you, so don't worry. It will just be fun Easter eggs and fun to catch up with the other characters.

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I chuckled my way through this one again...

KU Read 200+ Pages
Fake Dating (Kinda)
He falls first (and hard)
Spice
Tom-Com

Granny Murray steals the show again!!! Dakota is a great FMC and is funny, Ryder MMC is the ultimate cinnamon roll, coated in syrup and dipped in sugar... In real life he would be a major red flag but as it is it works cos he's so bloody sweet.

[Megan Harkness · Rating 1 out of 5]

I’m so sorry. That was awful. I couldn’t keep track of the conversations or the plot even. The covers cute though. Definitely judged the book by its cover.

[Lexi · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️
Absolutely ridiculous, loved it

[Katie Newton · Rating 1 out of 5]

almost unreadable… had to speed read. usually love this author :(

[Jessica Hurst · Rating 3 out of 5]

Super cute and easy holiday read! Spicy for sure lol Boy Scout on the streets but oh what a filthy mouth in the sheets 🥵

[Laci · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was chaotic and absolutely hilarious. I went in expecting a fun holiday rom com and got nonstop laughs, secondhand embarrassment, and peak holiday chaos.

I loved Ryder. He is such a sweet, total golden retriever hero who just wants a home, a family, and somewhere to belong. Even though he doesn’t think Dakota would ever fit into that picture, I’m convinced he falls for her the moment he sees her. Watching him learn that he deserves love, family, and stability honestly made my heart so happy. Dakota falls pretty fast too, and I loved their connection.

The humor is top tier. This big, loud, obnoxious family had me laughing out loud. Ryder’s teammates absolutely make the book with their banter, ridiculous advice, and constant commentary. And it was so fun revisiting the family and seeing Gracie and Hudson again.

If you want a festive, laugh out loud holiday romance with heart, found family vibes, and a cinnamon roll hockey hero, this one is worth reading.

[Kirstin ♡⚔ · Rating 1 out of 5]

I DNFd at 20%.
I hate giving negative reviews but I feel so strongly in my dislike for this book. The FMC is so unlikable and a bit of a b*itch, the MMC is just weird with such an unbelievablely bad backstory.. and the fact he actually said that he would never marry anyone he went on a date with confused the hell out of me! What, are you just going to pick some unsuspecting girl out of a crowd because you like the look of her and say "marry me now"??
the storyline is cringey in a bad way, she wants him so her brother can win back his £40,000 gambling losses,.so she agrees to date him to distract him. He wants her because he wants an instant massive family that he never had because he was a foster child.
And don't on't get me started on the weird gran trying to pimp out her granddaughter to near enough the whole hockey team either 🙄

[Ashley · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was kind of a lot.... I'm all for an insta love book but it seemed a little far fetched. She approaches the MC at first to help her brother get out of a bind and distroy the MCs game. Instead he shares his tragic back story and they are in love.
They know each for 3 days she's introducing him to her family. He's saying I love you and he want to get married. The MC is super clingy due to his history within the foster care system. He sees that she has a big family and latches on.
There are some very funny and heartfelt moments, the grandma definitely makes some scenes. Overall not a bad book, definitely has some good points.

[Bri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid 3 ⭐️

There was some issues I had with the flow/writing but overall a really funny book with surprising 🌶️🌶️ from a walking green flag MMC.

I absolutely wish I had a family like Gracie and Dakota and truly get why Hudson and Ryder became so apart of it. Granny Murray is top tier in the series 😂😂

Dakota pissed me off at times especially for what the main plot was to be it was so quickly brushed over. Even with all of that I enjoyed the read and read this in one day.

I’ve been enjoying light Christmas romcom as they don’t take much out do you.

[Renae Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book started out fun. A fun little “how to lose a guy in ten days” twist (it’s not exactly like that, but similar vibe)

Then it got weird. Dakota is annoying as hell. I find her personality unlikeable. Overly sexual, even with her family. The nursing home was weird and overly sexual. Even the smut was cringe.

I give it two stars because I like Ryder. He was a vibe, a good person. Falls too hard too quickly, but just a nice guy. Then he too got overly sexual. And I know it’s a smut hockey romance, but damn.

[Tixee · Rating 1 out of 5]

Hard Pass (so sorry)

just… no.

ryders complete personality shift from “omg i can’t believe you swore” to saying every curse known to man while they did the deed was certainly a choice?? this man just gave me the ick from the start, and he was already SO clingy and in love with her after two days?? also dakota just pmo the whole time too with how she spoke.

some of the writing made me laugh but meh.

[Kellie Forney]

This book is full of Christmas chaos. From the teammates walking into Ryder’s apt, to the over bearing family, and the adorable husky Dasher. I love all hockey romance books and this one had the bonus Christmas setting. So many unbelievable moments including the family storming the ice, but it’s fiction so I’ll allow it. Ryder is the sweetest cinnamon roll boy and he falls fast and hard for Dakota. It was suppose to be fake but when a man worships you like that you can’t give him up. Super quick read and I’m excited to read the bonus wedding story!

[Ann Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

A funny, sweet and sexy romantic comedy. Ryder was an absolute sweetheart as Dakota is asked to break his heart by her brother so he'll lose the hockey game. A fabulous story full of chaos, craziness interfering families and friends.

I received a free copy of this book via Cherrylily ARCs and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Ari Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book brought laughter, times where I was fanning myself and overall while being a work of fiction, felt more relatable than I would’ve expected with the way the author wrote the “crazy big family” dynamic. I don’t even have a big family so that should say something 😂

It was a perfect holiday quick read including a tall, handsome golden retriever MMC and a feisty, big hearted albeit “messy” FMC who’s left with a tough choice to make!

Definitely read if you need something to make you laugh and bring some holiday joy.

[Katlyn Symansic]

This was a DNF at 10%, I don’t know what it was about this book, but trying to read this shouldn’t have been so hard. The words were just thrown together and there was no details explaining anything. Plus I didn’t like the FMC.

[Sandra R · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and steamy Christmas comedy romance, with a million zany family members - enough to confuse every reader. 3.5 stars. 😳😄

[Kylee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pure chaos

[Gina · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

[Sydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

everything this lady writes is absolutely hilarious and insane and i’m here for it

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

So fun! This book had me laughing repeatedly! The family dynamics are just so hilarious, and the people all have such big personalities, that you can't help but her swept up in their antics. This was a great time! I loved Ryder and Dakota and their crazy love story!

[Ashleigh Harrison · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was Chaotic! I rated it 3 stars for the comedic relief and the spice! Granny stole the show!

[Heather Chamblee · Rating 4 out of 5]

These books are so chaotic and unhinged but I can’t stop reading them.

[Sharon🔮👽 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this journey specifically because of the grandmother’s antics. 🤣🤣

[Maddy Collier · Rating 1 out of 5]

no thanks

[Jessica Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I honestly don't even know what to say.

The couple declared their love for one another after three days, and her family bought them a house and a dog after a month. He went from being someone that wanted to wait for marriage, to, well... It was like he had two different personalities. He was completely doting and caring, almost too much so, but then he was far from it when they got intimate. It just didn't seem realistic.

The obnoxiously large family was mostly funny. The grandma was hilarious. And I loved all of the relationships he made from volunteering and while supporting small businesses.

Overall, this book did not do it for me.