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The Year of Dating Myself: How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak
Fans of Eat, Pray, Love and Wild will love this heartwarming memior in which the main chracter is her own hero.
Abby knew her pattern all too get her heart broken, swear off dating, find a man “worth” breaking that vow for . . . Rinse. Repeat. However, after leaving a particularly traumatic relationship, Abby realized that something had to change if she wanted to kick the pattern. One night while purchasing a solo concert ticket, an epiphany was she needed a year in which she was her own dating interest. One full year to give herself the care and consideration that she once gave to romantic partners. A year to treat herself the way she wished a partner would. A year where she stepped outside of her comfort zone and broke free from codependency.
The Year of Dating How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak is a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit and the capacity to heal after heartbreak. What started out as a way to refocus her priorities quickly developed into something far bigger than she could’ve ever predicted. The year became a chance to reconnect with her ailing mother, get answers to her biggest genetic fear, remember the power of friendship, and realize all the inner strength that she had all along.
She once spent years waiting for her fairytale prince to come and save her. In this story, the princess saves herself.
Abby knew her pattern all too get her heart broken, swear off dating, find a man “worth” breaking that vow for . . . Rinse. Repeat. However, after leaving a particularly traumatic relationship, Abby realized that something had to change if she wanted to kick the pattern. One night while purchasing a solo concert ticket, an epiphany was she needed a year in which she was her own dating interest. One full year to give herself the care and consideration that she once gave to romantic partners. A year to treat herself the way she wished a partner would. A year where she stepped outside of her comfort zone and broke free from codependency.
The Year of Dating How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak is a testament to the resiliency of the human spirit and the capacity to heal after heartbreak. What started out as a way to refocus her priorities quickly developed into something far bigger than she could’ve ever predicted. The year became a chance to reconnect with her ailing mother, get answers to her biggest genetic fear, remember the power of friendship, and realize all the inner strength that she had all along.
She once spent years waiting for her fairytale prince to come and save her. In this story, the princess saves herself.
346 pages, Paperback
Published July 8, 2025
3 people are currently reading
16 people want to read
About the author
Abby Rosmarin
8 books45 followersAs seen on Huffington Post, Bustle, Thought Catalog, Chaleur Magazine, the Bangalore Review, and others.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
June 21, 2025
Book Review: The Year of Dating Myself: How My Solo Tour Healed More Than Just My Heartbreak by Abby Rosmarin
As a female familiar with the dating world and struggles of modern femininity, in addition to being a sociologist and public health professional, I approached Rosmarin’s memoir with both professional curiosity and personal resonance. The book’s central premise—a year-long journey of self-dating as an antidote to romantic codependency—offers rich ground for examining gendered socialization, therapeutic self-care cultures, and the structural pressures shaping women’s emotional labor.
Critical Engagement and Emotional Resonance
Rosmarin’s narrative deftly captures the paradox of modern femininity: the tension between independence and deeply internalized romantic scripts. Her candid reflection on cyclical heartbreak patterns evoked sociological theories of “love addiction” (Hollander, 2021) and the commodification of intimacy under late capitalism. As a public health leader, I was particularly struck by her somatic awareness of trauma—how heartbreak manifested physically—which aligns with growing research on the mind-body connection in emotional distress.
However, the memoir’s focus on individual transformation occasionally glosses over systemic critiques. While Rosmarin’s solo concerts and self-care rituals are empowering, I questioned whether such practices risk becoming neoliberal Band-Aids for structural loneliness epidemics. Her reconnection with her ailing mother—though poignant—left me wanting deeper analysis of how women’s caregiving burdens intersect with self-actualization.
Constructive Criticism
-Structural Context: The book would benefit from situating personal struggles within broader sociopolitical forces (e.g., dating app algorithms reinforcing disposability culture).
-Intersectional Gaps: Rosmarin’s experience as an educated, presumably middle-class woman differs markedly from those facing compounded marginalizations. Acknowledging this privilege would strengthen its relatability.
-Public Health Lens: While celebrating resilience, missed opportunities exist to discuss community-based healing models beyond solo journeys.
Why This Book Matters
The Year of Dating Myself contributes meaningfully to conversations about post-traumatic growth. For sociologists, it illustrates how personal narratives can challenge romantic hegemony; for public health practitioners, it underscores the need for trauma-informed approaches to emotional well-being. Rosmarin’s journey ultimately reframes self-love not as indulgence, but as radical reclamation.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a complimentary review copy. This memoir is a tender, if occasionally myopic, ode to rewriting one’s own love story.
Reviewer’s Note: Pair with All About Love (hooks) for feminist theory parallels or The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk) for trauma science connections. A vulnerable addition to the self-help memoir genre.
As a female familiar with the dating world and struggles of modern femininity, in addition to being a sociologist and public health professional, I approached Rosmarin’s memoir with both professional curiosity and personal resonance. The book’s central premise—a year-long journey of self-dating as an antidote to romantic codependency—offers rich ground for examining gendered socialization, therapeutic self-care cultures, and the structural pressures shaping women’s emotional labor.
Critical Engagement and Emotional Resonance
Rosmarin’s narrative deftly captures the paradox of modern femininity: the tension between independence and deeply internalized romantic scripts. Her candid reflection on cyclical heartbreak patterns evoked sociological theories of “love addiction” (Hollander, 2021) and the commodification of intimacy under late capitalism. As a public health leader, I was particularly struck by her somatic awareness of trauma—how heartbreak manifested physically—which aligns with growing research on the mind-body connection in emotional distress.
However, the memoir’s focus on individual transformation occasionally glosses over systemic critiques. While Rosmarin’s solo concerts and self-care rituals are empowering, I questioned whether such practices risk becoming neoliberal Band-Aids for structural loneliness epidemics. Her reconnection with her ailing mother—though poignant—left me wanting deeper analysis of how women’s caregiving burdens intersect with self-actualization.
Constructive Criticism
-Structural Context: The book would benefit from situating personal struggles within broader sociopolitical forces (e.g., dating app algorithms reinforcing disposability culture).
-Intersectional Gaps: Rosmarin’s experience as an educated, presumably middle-class woman differs markedly from those facing compounded marginalizations. Acknowledging this privilege would strengthen its relatability.
-Public Health Lens: While celebrating resilience, missed opportunities exist to discuss community-based healing models beyond solo journeys.
Why This Book Matters
The Year of Dating Myself contributes meaningfully to conversations about post-traumatic growth. For sociologists, it illustrates how personal narratives can challenge romantic hegemony; for public health practitioners, it underscores the need for trauma-informed approaches to emotional well-being. Rosmarin’s journey ultimately reframes self-love not as indulgence, but as radical reclamation.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a complimentary review copy. This memoir is a tender, if occasionally myopic, ode to rewriting one’s own love story.
Reviewer’s Note: Pair with All About Love (hooks) for feminist theory parallels or The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk) for trauma science connections. A vulnerable addition to the self-help memoir genre.
August 8, 2025
1.5 rounded DOWN because no way 2 stars!
Quick summary - Abby Rosmarin has shown herself to be a talented writer, but this is a terrible book.
The title is the book - coming out of a difficult breakup from a relationship she described as abusive, the author decided to not jump back into dating, but instead to spend a year embarking on solo adventures, a year of taking herself on dates to help heal and learn.
If this sounds familiar it is because over the last 5 years there have been dozens of articles written about similar topics - not to diminish the author’s experience or motivation, as I truly believe it is very important to learn about ourselves and break patterns.
But … the title IS the book, and as I say it is the subject of many ARTICLES, and just like the cliche ‘that meeting could have been an email’, THIS book could easily have been an article. There is so much filler and so many meaningless platitudes and random tangents and incredibly frequent and unlikely super-meaningful coincidences that it all took away from the experience and impact.
Again - love the concept: set a plan, get outside your comfort zone, seek out joy, reclaim things associated with bad relationships. That SHOULD have been the core of the book - but instead it spends way too much time talking about how someone else is responsible for every little negative thing or inconvenience, talks about NOT having a pity party then immediately spends pages on said pity party.
And yes, the reason I got this was I had followed along on TikTok the whole time, so saw the very public relationship fall apart, then the year of dating herself, and finally watched how the author turned the very same accusations used against the ‘abusive ex’ against her ‘platonic soulmates’ who remain an essential support group throughout this book. It is easy to play ‘who is who’.
Having that knowledge and reading the book reminds me of reading the book by the former Facebook exec earlier this year and knowing what happened in the world while she quibbled over minutia.
But that knowledge also contextualizes the victim mentality underlying every moment in this book that belies the growth and strength the author had been seeking. She is at an age when reflection on half your life as an adult is natural, but the insights felt forced and shallow. How can we grow when everything that has happened is entirely someone else’s fault?
And I did get hung up on the infamous ‘birthday weekend’ - knowing that a group of people took PTO, arranged childcare, spent thousands of dollars, and so on just to be there to show support .. and holding them entirely accountable for not being able to fit the entire insane itinerary into the time allotted, begrudging someone with a migraine breakfast in bed (in the book the breakfast is mentioned - not the migraine).
And the fact that the author notes her tendency to over-schedule things and then end up disappointed - something going back over a decade - and yet she STILL fails to see how that would play out over a weekend of friends just looking to be there and not caring about events as much as quality time together.
The lack of accountability and self-awareness were mind-numbingly bad throughout the book. As noted - the concept is good, but if the take-away from a year of ‘growth’ is destroying a half dozen multi-year friendships, alienating communities, and continuing to blame an ex for something you failed to do months after breaking up …
Have you actually grown? Or just learned how to go to dinners and shows by yourself.
Quick summary - Abby Rosmarin has shown herself to be a talented writer, but this is a terrible book.
The title is the book - coming out of a difficult breakup from a relationship she described as abusive, the author decided to not jump back into dating, but instead to spend a year embarking on solo adventures, a year of taking herself on dates to help heal and learn.
If this sounds familiar it is because over the last 5 years there have been dozens of articles written about similar topics - not to diminish the author’s experience or motivation, as I truly believe it is very important to learn about ourselves and break patterns.
But … the title IS the book, and as I say it is the subject of many ARTICLES, and just like the cliche ‘that meeting could have been an email’, THIS book could easily have been an article. There is so much filler and so many meaningless platitudes and random tangents and incredibly frequent and unlikely super-meaningful coincidences that it all took away from the experience and impact.
Again - love the concept: set a plan, get outside your comfort zone, seek out joy, reclaim things associated with bad relationships. That SHOULD have been the core of the book - but instead it spends way too much time talking about how someone else is responsible for every little negative thing or inconvenience, talks about NOT having a pity party then immediately spends pages on said pity party.
And yes, the reason I got this was I had followed along on TikTok the whole time, so saw the very public relationship fall apart, then the year of dating herself, and finally watched how the author turned the very same accusations used against the ‘abusive ex’ against her ‘platonic soulmates’ who remain an essential support group throughout this book. It is easy to play ‘who is who’.
Having that knowledge and reading the book reminds me of reading the book by the former Facebook exec earlier this year and knowing what happened in the world while she quibbled over minutia.
But that knowledge also contextualizes the victim mentality underlying every moment in this book that belies the growth and strength the author had been seeking. She is at an age when reflection on half your life as an adult is natural, but the insights felt forced and shallow. How can we grow when everything that has happened is entirely someone else’s fault?
And I did get hung up on the infamous ‘birthday weekend’ - knowing that a group of people took PTO, arranged childcare, spent thousands of dollars, and so on just to be there to show support .. and holding them entirely accountable for not being able to fit the entire insane itinerary into the time allotted, begrudging someone with a migraine breakfast in bed (in the book the breakfast is mentioned - not the migraine).
And the fact that the author notes her tendency to over-schedule things and then end up disappointed - something going back over a decade - and yet she STILL fails to see how that would play out over a weekend of friends just looking to be there and not caring about events as much as quality time together.
The lack of accountability and self-awareness were mind-numbingly bad throughout the book. As noted - the concept is good, but if the take-away from a year of ‘growth’ is destroying a half dozen multi-year friendships, alienating communities, and continuing to blame an ex for something you failed to do months after breaking up …
Have you actually grown? Or just learned how to go to dinners and shows by yourself.
July 10, 2025
I don’t normally go for books like this. However, I’d seen the outside of what was happening out on social media since I followed Abby on there. So when I heard the book was coming out, I decided to buy it and find out more about how she was dating herself. The book did not disappoint. It showed her at the start almost completely broken. By the end, she had come back stronger than ever. Perhaps one of the saddest things in the book, at least for me, was the parts about Salem. I have a black cat, so reading about the things that Salem went through kind of hit hard.
The book is broken down by the months in the year and in each part, there are some chapters that explained some of the things that happened during that month. Watching her change from January to December was actually pretty inspiring. This is gonna be one of those books that I will probably come back to to read again in the future.
The book is broken down by the months in the year and in each part, there are some chapters that explained some of the things that happened during that month. Watching her change from January to December was actually pretty inspiring. This is gonna be one of those books that I will probably come back to to read again in the future.
December 26, 2025
wished i picked up another book from this author, cos i didn’t quite enjoy what this book had to offer. lots of introspection, felt like i was reading her personal diary with no end in mind.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews