All of Us Atoms: A Memoir

by Holly Dawson

You tell me we are made of seven billion billion billion atoms. I can feel every one of them as I write this all down. It’s a rush to feel that, like falling in love. Remembering is like falling in love with you, with us, again and again.

What makes us who we are? What stories do we inherit – and leave behind?

Faced with the prospect of losing her memory, a writer revisits the moments that changed her – from childhood to motherhood, loss and ill-health. Through shifting pronouns and perspectives, moving across place and time, each piece twists the kaleidoscope of existence to make sense of the present through the past. From the opening battle between her brain and her body, a conversation emerges between her collection of the Daughter, the Sister, the Dancer, the Gardener, the Mother, the Girl-Who-Read-Woolf. Reliving her journey of becoming, she unpicks the fabric of fact and experience to stitch a new tapestry of personhood, both real and imaginary, mundane and profound.

All of Us Atoms offers a tender portrait of the tension between our drive to make sense of things and the freedom that comes from throwing categories away. It heralds the arrival of a major new literary voice, urging us to reframe and reclaim our own stories and revel in our mutable, messy, multitudinous selves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir

307 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 8, 2025

Reviews

[Stxdyla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such an emotional and insightful read unlike anything I'd ever read before. Holly Dawson's ability to grapple with and capture the true essences of life through time and generations was so beautiful and upsetting truly bringing 'you' along. Her clever and apt intertwining of the political sphere and the domestic sphere was truly insightful and the personable nature of the book was so breathtaking and phenomenal. The complexities of mental health, motherhood and the veracity of history was so eye-opening and inspiring. Such a good strong read and definitely a tearjerker by the end

[Brian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Upon experiencing a seizure which leads to the discovery of a brain tumour and the reality of increasing memory loss, Holly Dawson embarks upon a memoir which investigates all the personas she has adopted and discarded during her lifetime. Written as a stream of consciousness and sometimes diverging form memory into imagined past, All of Us Atoms resonates with moments of insight at a granular level. It’s a powerful read but, as the book draws closer to its conclusion, the insight is too often overtaken by emotional outpouring. As a result, the narrative loosened its grip on my imagination, the further I got into the text.

[bowiesbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dawson’s memoir is beautifully lyrical, painting pictures of her life all the way from childhood to the present. She writes to her body, which she feels has constantly let her down, underscoring the dichotomy between her body and her mind.

She reflects on her experiences in childhood; of being a dancer and pushing her body to breaking point, the stories behind the blood that pumps through her veins and her children’s. She dissects what makes us who we are and the distinct moments in life that make themselves known in the folds in our brains.

She writes skilfully, weaving together these moments in her life for the sake of her sons. Faced with losing her memory, it’s so clear that this memoir is a love letter to sons, in the hopes they will never question who she is. At times, this was perhaps too blatant - I felt like it was intruding or reading about moments I didn’t quite grasp, they were clearly private and for the benefit of her boys. Though I enjoyed the literacy choice of writing to yourself, it was slightly disorienting and disjointed. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this memoir and found it to be a stark reflection of the self, the body and the mind.

[Beth Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was at work all day today and still finished this book in less than 24 hours- literally picking it up every free second- I have always read Holly Dawson’s work hungrily and so to have a whole book is so exciting! The Girl Who Read Woolf- what a chapter- a big big recommendation to all of us girls who read woolf

[Bookish Tokyo · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Half invented. All true.”
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“The mother you’ve been born to is the greatest gift of all, it hissed. But if you ever truly acknowledge that, then your mother will die”
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This is an achingly beautiful novel at time. A memory bank in which ignited within me my own melancholic tinged memories of being raised by a strong woman. A mother who would work late into the night just to be able to give me lunch, a mother that would come to collect me after being stood up or let go from a job. A mother that is a part of me. This is really a memoir of memories, of womanhood and motherhood. Of deep bonds and binds that keep us intertwined.
.
It is beautiful, but in some ways it also felt a bit distant. Perhaps it was the style, but rather than fully embracing the empowering warmth it left a slight layer of coolness. The structure feels poetic but it feels like a series of fleeting snapshots that one has little time to linger on.
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I liked it very much, perhaps didn’t entirely fall in love with it, but I’m certainly glad I read it and will be keen to read more of Dawsons work.
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A huge thank you to cannongate books for giving me an advanced review copy and to netgalley for opening up my bookish world.

I hate having to give books star ratings, but with these sorts of books you’re often compelled to do so. At times it felt like a 4 star, and others 3. Either way it was a really enjoyable read and I wanted to feel perhaps a stronger emotional connection. It did flicker occasionally but the style kept me at a distance. It also felt intensely personal. Like I was reading someone’s deepest most private memories.

[Jen Burrows · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of Us Atoms is a heartfelt family memoir told through fleeting snapshots. “Half invented. All true.” Dawson writes, and you can tell that every word is felt in earnest.

Themes of nature, memory and belonging thread through stories of her own life and the lives of her family, both real and imagined. Her prose has a lyrical cadence, and although each separate chapter has its own distinct focus, there is a dreamlike, cohesive flow throughout.

Deeply personal and ringing with emotion, All of Us Atoms is a beautiful memoir of the things we hold on to.

*Thank you to Netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review*

[Jonathan Pool · Rating 5 out of 5]

Categorised as ‘memoir’, and ‘autobiography’, Holly Dawson is not a celebrity, a social media star. So, to draw in readers there needs to be a significant human-interest story to justify a memoir (or as Holly calls it- a “them-oir”).

The book jacket blurb sets up the book: faced with prospect of losing her memory” … and the author background points to serious ill health- to brain tumours, and epilepsy.

I was anticipating a book that was going to be focused on health and paced as a race against time. The unfortunately (given the injustice) numerous autobiographies of (mostly) famous people struck down is a well populated genre.

This was not the book I read. It was much, much better and more stimulating for me than that.
Holly Dawson’s innovative and original writing style is made for the novel format. It’s no surprise that’s she’s immersed in Virginia Woolf from childhood to her position today at Charleston as reader in residence. Holly’s writing style is great; the book structure is great; the switches from first to third person are energising.
Ironically (given the autobiography classification) Holly through her Gran says:”Truth is a fusion of fact and fabrication. Stories are what matter”

The narrator in these stories has experienced hard knocks. Family dislocation, with the ravages of a declining steel industry. Then, in a completely different context, relocation due to changing environments and specifically the changes to fish populations and fishing techniques off the south west coast of England.
There are a number of sad events that beset the narrator, but her father, a huer, sitting alone for weeks in a cliff shed, scanning the coves and incoming seas off Cornwall for herring shoals, is one of the most heart wrenching.
The narrator’s experience of intensive competition at a young age (training to become a ballerina is hard and unforgiving.)

On a personal, familial, level the two (or three) people who are largest in Holly’s life are her grandmother, and her two children (both boys). The love shines through, though these sections, were written much more conventionally than the more oblique parts of the narrative, and are possibly less striking as a consequence.
I particularly liked the narrator’s portrayal of two men: ‘Cousin John’ and ‘Bennet’. Holly Dawson specifically writes them as invented characters, drawing on hints and small clues as to the actual lives lived.
One chapter in the book is titled “the most beautiful sounds i ever heard”, and this constitutes forty seven memories/life observations. My favourite three:

”Pens scribbling in a silent classroom”

Rustling as the dog bursts out a hedgerow hours after escaping ten miles from home”

it’s going to be OK.
Anytime anyone says it’s going to be OK”

I enjoyed this book very much. I found myself reading this as though it was a work of fiction, and that was in large part due to the stimulating writing style; the switch in narrator perspective; the unstated, even ambiguous, sentences that demand the reader stops to consider deeper meanings. Its not linear either.

One final thought: I liked the book title “All of us Atoms”, but a better one might have been “A Bucket Full of Plums”. Readers of the book will know why…

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written, meandering book filled with honesty and heartbreak. I loved it. Ms Dawson has spun her memoir into a collection of vignettes, each showing her as a person relative to someone/something else. A mother, a reader of Woolf, a daughter, a hospital patient… It really makes you pause and consider how we perceive people.

The family scenes are very well conceived and I want to be Holly Dawson’s friend/sister/mother/daughter whatever fits in the moment. Her description of her push/pull relationship with her mother when Ms Dawson is in hospital feels very real. I need you but I must learn to cope without you. Her stories about the birth of her children and their subsequent growing up, is captured perfectly. The loves, the fear, the amazement when children become ‘people’. I love the joke at the end by her son.

The whole concept of this book is literally mind blowing. Matter cannot be destroyed therefore every atom that ever existed, still does… what?!?

I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a memoir with a core of honesty and bravery and good storytelling.

I was given a copy of this book by NetGalley

[Haxxunne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A constellation of portals into the author’s life and world
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It feels wrong to try to rate this, as the author quite literally has a death sentence hanging over her head, a tumour that may rob her of her memories, her speech, her autonomy, her very self. And so she wrote this, which is at her own insistence not a memoir: it is instead a narrative of dispatches from various parts of the individual who is now and has been Holly Dawson, a love letter of sorts to her loved ones, particularly her young sons. Told in multiple and plural viewpoints and tenses, this is a constellation of portals into Dawson’s life and world, her passions and fears, her history and her hopes: however, I felt an opacity thanks to Dawson’s multiple voices, ever circling the heart of the literary Dawson but never quite letting me in.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautifully written, with a lyrical and poetic style that clearly reflects the author’s talent with language. The prose often feels rich and immersive, however, for me, that same style sometimes became a distraction, pulling focus away from the story itself. A thoughtful and carefully crafted work, but one that didn’t fully resonate with me.

[Michelle Harrington · Rating 4 out of 5]

AUDIO BORROWBOX

Super interesting book:

I didn’t enjoy there was no chronological order skipping back and forth, in fact, only with the acknowledgments did I remember the initial, unclear brain diagnosis

However, I loved the book, the descriptors of life and living, throughout all the ages Holly took us through.

In fact, I think I would also enjoy reading

[The Northern Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

A haunting memoir which is written in style which makes it like a collection of short stories as we follow her through her life, looking at childhood, motherhood and later life.

Beautifully written and excellently narrated by Helena Bonham-Carter.

[steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

definitely cried in the last sections of the book. what a touching memoir

[Tom Quante · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some parts were beautifully written, but found it was somewhat boring throughout