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Disorder
Part dark romance, part fairy tale, DISORDER marks the arrival of bestselling Italian author Rokia, available for the first time in English, in a vibrant translation by Beth Hickling-Moore. The production is voiced by an all-star cast: Diane Guerrero (Orange is the New Black), William Gao (Heartstopper), Freya Allan (The Witcher) and Connor Swindells (Sex Education.)
Meet Olivia, Sia, Derek and Edgar. Four young people scarred by self-harm, anorexia and PTSD, each of them searching for a way to heal. Brought together by an unorthodox doctor, their friendship becomes instrumental as they battle their respective demons. Through a series of increasingly demanding challenges set by prestigious media company GNN, deliberately chosen to make them face their pasts, their friendship becomes a key part of how they learn to process their pain. As their relationships grow, the past is never too far away, with wounds constantly being re-opened. And while no-one will remain unscathed along the journey of recovery, one thing is for sure: love has the power to mend a bleeding heart.
Please note: this production includes descriptions of mental illness, death, child abuse, violence, domestic violence, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, miscarriage and substance abuse.
Meet Olivia, Sia, Derek and Edgar. Four young people scarred by self-harm, anorexia and PTSD, each of them searching for a way to heal. Brought together by an unorthodox doctor, their friendship becomes instrumental as they battle their respective demons. Through a series of increasingly demanding challenges set by prestigious media company GNN, deliberately chosen to make them face their pasts, their friendship becomes a key part of how they learn to process their pain. As their relationships grow, the past is never too far away, with wounds constantly being re-opened. And while no-one will remain unscathed along the journey of recovery, one thing is for sure: love has the power to mend a bleeding heart.
Please note: this production includes descriptions of mental illness, death, child abuse, violence, domestic violence, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, miscarriage and substance abuse.
Audiobook
Published November 7, 2024
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November 22, 2024This is included in my Audible membership, otherwise I would not have chosen this book, but I am strangely actually glad I did.
The audiobook calls this a dark romance, and the "romance" part would normally put me off, but the "dark" intrigued me...
At the start, I thought it would be about four "misfits", but it is so much more, and addresses many topics, including domestic violence and various mental illnesses, whilst telling a magical story.
It is an unusual read for me, but I enjoyed it for its difference, and it is an ultimately uplifting experience.
The audiobook calls this a dark romance, and the "romance" part would normally put me off, but the "dark" intrigued me...
At the start, I thought it would be about four "misfits", but it is so much more, and addresses many topics, including domestic violence and various mental illnesses, whilst telling a magical story.
It is an unusual read for me, but I enjoyed it for its difference, and it is an ultimately uplifting experience.
December 9, 2025
I am so obsessed with this and also sobbing! It’s quite strange but so incredibly beautiful, especially to those of us who struggle with mental illness and rarely feel understood. I really wish it was available in a hard copy so I could add it to my shelves with my other favorite books.
February 5, 2025
3.5 ✩ i definitely wouldn’t have picked this up if it wasn’t included in my audible subscription but it was an interesting listen. the fairy tale storytelling made for a cool perspective
February 21, 2025
They say never judge a book by its cover, but I kind of did. Just based on the title I figured it was some romance novel about two people with disorders, but it piqued my interest anyway. Plot twist? This book was SO much more than what I expected it to be.
At first Sia TRULY annoyed the hell out of me, but as the story kept unfolding and more was revealed about each character, including their trials and tribulations, mental health struggles and disorders, it started to make so much more sense. I felt like this was really well written. The characters had depth, the plot had a lot of twists and turns and the emotions it evoked were MANY. I’ve never cried because of a book and this one made me cry a few times (especially at the end). As for calling it a dark romance, I can see why. It does fall into the category, but people who read dark romances like Haunting Adeline, That Sik Luv, or Death’s Obsession might not find this to be the type of dark romance they are looking for. (Side note: I’ve read those books myself.) Like I said, this book is so much more.
More importantly, for people like me who struggle with their mental health, it was relatable. It made me feel seen and understood beyond a surface level. I truly hope the author makes an English print version available because I would love to read this again (well technically the first time I listened) and have it part of my permanent collection.
At first Sia TRULY annoyed the hell out of me, but as the story kept unfolding and more was revealed about each character, including their trials and tribulations, mental health struggles and disorders, it started to make so much more sense. I felt like this was really well written. The characters had depth, the plot had a lot of twists and turns and the emotions it evoked were MANY. I’ve never cried because of a book and this one made me cry a few times (especially at the end). As for calling it a dark romance, I can see why. It does fall into the category, but people who read dark romances like Haunting Adeline, That Sik Luv, or Death’s Obsession might not find this to be the type of dark romance they are looking for. (Side note: I’ve read those books myself.) Like I said, this book is so much more.
More importantly, for people like me who struggle with their mental health, it was relatable. It made me feel seen and understood beyond a surface level. I truly hope the author makes an English print version available because I would love to read this again (well technically the first time I listened) and have it part of my permanent collection.
December 5, 2024
Wow! This was so much better than I expected!! Such a rollercoaster of emotions about the suffering of a mental illness and feeling so alone!
December 30, 2024
Enjoyed discovering the characters. They're quite dark but the fairy tales woven to the novel reminds me of stories like Pan's Labyrinth or Suckerpunch... Or more like the dark Kdrama " It's okay not to be okay."
January 13, 2025
I went into this book with a curious and open mind. Romance isn't usually my genre of choice but I'm a sucker for people with mental health issues coming together to support one another and this book definitely did not disappoint. In the first few chapters i was doubtful as i wasn't sure how it was all going to come together. All the different characters had such different personalities but the way that each character grew throughout the story was absolutely mesmerising! The way they became each other safe space and helped each other through their oh-so-dark moments :') i cried so many times throughout this story.
The way one of the main characters understands the world through the fairytale books she read as a child and still now as an adult was a really strong point in this book and i found it quite relatable. We all have our own ways of understanding the world and need a safe place to go to shut it all out. I enjoyed understanding the ways in which these characters minds worked. I quite like the different narrator's voices too - it was different and although i had to stare at each character's face for a while to be able to remember who was who, it really helped me to visualise the story in the minds eye.
There were times the story didn't shy away from reminding me that this was definitely a fictional book, even though most of the time it did feel like something that could be happening in another dimension, some parts were just a tad cringe and drawn out unnecessarily. That being said, the way it reads is rather dramatic but I love that about it and the poetic way each character speaks of themselves and their friends.
There were some lovely messages in this book that i saved. The way Sia speaks about people and their complexities is something that will stay with me. This book put some things into words for me, things about myself that I couldn't speak of. It was lovely, messy, and painful all at once. A bittersweet read but definitely not one that I regret and will come back to again.
The way one of the main characters understands the world through the fairytale books she read as a child and still now as an adult was a really strong point in this book and i found it quite relatable. We all have our own ways of understanding the world and need a safe place to go to shut it all out. I enjoyed understanding the ways in which these characters minds worked. I quite like the different narrator's voices too - it was different and although i had to stare at each character's face for a while to be able to remember who was who, it really helped me to visualise the story in the minds eye.
There were times the story didn't shy away from reminding me that this was definitely a fictional book, even though most of the time it did feel like something that could be happening in another dimension, some parts were just a tad cringe and drawn out unnecessarily. That being said, the way it reads is rather dramatic but I love that about it and the poetic way each character speaks of themselves and their friends.
There were some lovely messages in this book that i saved. The way Sia speaks about people and their complexities is something that will stay with me. This book put some things into words for me, things about myself that I couldn't speak of. It was lovely, messy, and painful all at once. A bittersweet read but definitely not one that I regret and will come back to again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 16, 2025
What a wild ride!! Wasn’t sure what to expect. It says dark romance but it’s definitely not, atleast not the genre I would put it in. It’s compelling, very insightful, and follows 4 characters and their paths with different mental illnesses. I loved it!
January 6, 2025
I couldn't stop!
January 12, 2025
Wow, just wow, I really hope this becomes a physical book one day because I will definitely be buying it
January 21, 2025
The concept is clever, although we never realize how these people get chosen for the internship this novel revolves around. The typical cast of characters -the mean girl, the snarky competitor, etc -is introduced very naturally and smoothly, as the details unfold. Some aspects are very creative and entertaining, such as Sia's language, and how everyone pretty much accepts it, or, at worst, might call it strange. The author gives that character so much ego and boldness, so much conviction in her life that is built on belief in a fairy world, you don't care that it's quite over the top, or that strong personality probably wouldn't be a part of someone who'd been so emotionally abused.
Her throwing herself at Derek, over and over, while he shuts her down, over and over, makes no sense, even when he comes around. It's kind of embarrassing for her...that lack of ego, lack of fight just didn't jibe with anything else she'd said or done throughout the book.
The seemingly never-ending major dramas get tiring. The evil mother (it's always the mother, and this book runs with that tired theme)escapes her hospital, and sneaks around another. She then evades police to commit more crimes -in the house you'd think they'd be watching...the constant attacks and issues are way overdone, and the fairy tale language does get annoying, as the main characters grow out of the internship and form real relationships.
The life lesson about accepting those with disorders is well-done, except for the "are you sure you're getting this? Accept people!" in-our-faces wording towards the end. We get it. Yawn.
The end itself is silly and disappointing. Why would Sia purposefully force emotional distress on her newfound love and best friends, especially after so much chaos and loss, by leaving? Maybe she didn't want them to see her progress into her illness, ok. But then WHY COME BACK? It wasn't romantic, or beautiful, it was annoying. She put them through years of sadness and turmoil, when they'd already been through LIVES full of those-and she wanted to help them heal...but then ran away? And then returned, poof, and they're all happy? It was a really dumb, dissatisfying ending.
Her throwing herself at Derek, over and over, while he shuts her down, over and over, makes no sense, even when he comes around. It's kind of embarrassing for her...that lack of ego, lack of fight just didn't jibe with anything else she'd said or done throughout the book.
The seemingly never-ending major dramas get tiring. The evil mother (it's always the mother, and this book runs with that tired theme)escapes her hospital, and sneaks around another. She then evades police to commit more crimes -in the house you'd think they'd be watching...the constant attacks and issues are way overdone, and the fairy tale language does get annoying, as the main characters grow out of the internship and form real relationships.
The life lesson about accepting those with disorders is well-done, except for the "are you sure you're getting this? Accept people!" in-our-faces wording towards the end. We get it. Yawn.
The end itself is silly and disappointing. Why would Sia purposefully force emotional distress on her newfound love and best friends, especially after so much chaos and loss, by leaving? Maybe she didn't want them to see her progress into her illness, ok. But then WHY COME BACK? It wasn't romantic, or beautiful, it was annoying. She put them through years of sadness and turmoil, when they'd already been through LIVES full of those-and she wanted to help them heal...but then ran away? And then returned, poof, and they're all happy? It was a really dumb, dissatisfying ending.
January 26, 2025
Overall, this slayed.
The ending felt a bit weak but other than it was so good. The author had a little bit of everything in this. The romance, the mystery, the disorders and of course a shit ton of trigger warnings. What else could you possibly want?
I'll tell you.
This. In a paperback. Seriously why is there only an audiobook version? I would settle for a ebook at this point if it meant I could print it out and add it to my bookshelf!
The ending felt a bit weak but other than it was so good. The author had a little bit of everything in this. The romance, the mystery, the disorders and of course a shit ton of trigger warnings. What else could you possibly want?
I'll tell you.
This. In a paperback. Seriously why is there only an audiobook version? I would settle for a ebook at this point if it meant I could print it out and add it to my bookshelf!
November 18, 2024
I gave up 3/4 of the way through. I can see who this book might appeal to; it certainly didn't appeal to me. The synopsis was ambiguous and misleading. I probably would never have picked it up had it been clearer what the real subject was, although in retrospect the title might be considered a giveaway given some context.
January 27, 2025
It was okay. I felt it was too dark for me. Or maybe just mindset at the time I listened to it. I almost stopped listening a number of times. But I have this thing about finishing books once I start them. So I pushed thru it. Glad is over and I can move on to something less dark. However I did feel better about it overall once I got to the ending.
November 24, 2024
Wierd read
November 24, 2024
Weird but captivating story.. i liked how the experiences of having and living with mental disorders were described, like a twisted fairytale.
December 8, 2024
The narrator made a bad story even worse cannot finish this book.
January 14, 2025
Parts of this are a solid 4 ⭐
The YA'ness of much of it are really what brings it down a bit.
The YA'ness of much of it are really what brings it down a bit.
January 29, 2025
3*. Not sure what I just read.
April 20, 2025
Total love hate relationship with this book.
I almost gave up several times but I'm glad I stuck it out. Brilliant story.
I almost gave up several times but I'm glad I stuck it out. Brilliant story.
June 5, 2025
I don’t want to talk about it. I have no words.
October 17, 2025
Loved so much this book! It talks about the character's traumas in such an enlightening, realistic, and compassionate way. I wish more of Rokia's novels were translated.
April 9, 2025
This book is a mix of dark romance, fairy tales and psychological thriller. It has several trigger warnings at the start; mental illness, death, child abuse, violence, domestic violence, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, miscarriage and substance abuse.
Olivia, Sia, Derek and Edgar are all scarred by different mental health issues. They first met in a psych evaluation, they then all apply for the same internship at Global News Network several years later. They are grouped together, the all agree that they must keep their secrets hidden from the other candidates, whatever the cost. Sia is central to the group, her curse is that she can see in to other peoples souls, and she lives her life to a strict fairy tale code. She helps each of her team mates to overcome their burdens. It is a story about found family, mental illness and overcoming obstacles.
I loved this book so much, my first 5⭐️ review of the year. The audible cast were fantastic narrating such a hard-hitting story. I love how mental illnness was approached and how their misgivings formed them into a found family. This was originally written in Italian by Rokia, the translation is flawless.
Olivia, Sia, Derek and Edgar are all scarred by different mental health issues. They first met in a psych evaluation, they then all apply for the same internship at Global News Network several years later. They are grouped together, the all agree that they must keep their secrets hidden from the other candidates, whatever the cost. Sia is central to the group, her curse is that she can see in to other peoples souls, and she lives her life to a strict fairy tale code. She helps each of her team mates to overcome their burdens. It is a story about found family, mental illness and overcoming obstacles.
I loved this book so much, my first 5⭐️ review of the year. The audible cast were fantastic narrating such a hard-hitting story. I love how mental illnness was approached and how their misgivings formed them into a found family. This was originally written in Italian by Rokia, the translation is flawless.
December 5, 2025
DNF-It goes on and on……and for what?
Not for me
I tried to give it a chance but it couldn’t keep my attention
Not a fan of a slow burn with no reward
Not for me
I tried to give it a chance but it couldn’t keep my attention
Not a fan of a slow burn with no reward
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews