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Boys of Tommen #6
Releasing 10
A love that couldn't be broken, except by the truth.
Lizzie Young has always felt she was too much everything. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder at a young age, she's never fit in with her family, her friends, her community. Lizzie wants to be accepted and understood, but with few family or friends in her corner, she's carries her burdens and her trauma on her own.
But when she meets a kind boy on the school bus, things start to look bright for the first time in her life…
Hugh Biggs has an old soul and the wisdom of someone far beyond his years. A young man with a sharp mind and a firm code of ethics, he sees something in Lizzie Young that he can't resist. He wants to be her everything and shoulder her burden. And Lizzie wants that too.
Lizzie and Hugh's bond seems unbreakable — their chemistry is electric, their love is potent, and their connection is soul deep – but even the truest love can be shaken by forces beyond control.
Warning: Releasing 10 tackles several sensitive topics, including childhood abuse, sexual trauma, CSA, grooming, abortion, forced miscarriage, self-harm, and suicide. It includes explicit sexual content and graphic violence and is not suitable for readers under the age of 18. Reader discretion is advised.
Lizzie Young has always felt she was too much everything. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder at a young age, she's never fit in with her family, her friends, her community. Lizzie wants to be accepted and understood, but with few family or friends in her corner, she's carries her burdens and her trauma on her own.
But when she meets a kind boy on the school bus, things start to look bright for the first time in her life…
Hugh Biggs has an old soul and the wisdom of someone far beyond his years. A young man with a sharp mind and a firm code of ethics, he sees something in Lizzie Young that he can't resist. He wants to be her everything and shoulder her burden. And Lizzie wants that too.
Lizzie and Hugh's bond seems unbreakable — their chemistry is electric, their love is potent, and their connection is soul deep – but even the truest love can be shaken by forces beyond control.
Warning: Releasing 10 tackles several sensitive topics, including childhood abuse, sexual trauma, CSA, grooming, abortion, forced miscarriage, self-harm, and suicide. It includes explicit sexual content and graphic violence and is not suitable for readers under the age of 18. Reader discretion is advised.
768 pages, Paperback
First published May 27, 2025
13855 people are currently reading
110729 people want to read
About the author
Chloe Walsh
61 books30.6k followersChloe Walsh is the NYT and USA Today bestselling author of The Boys of Tommen series, which exploded in popularity on TikTok, Goodreads, and Amazon. She has been writing and publishing New Adult and Adult contemporary romance for mature audiences for over a decade. Her Tommen series has been translated into multiple languages around the world, finding bestselling success in several countries. Chloe focuses heavily on the mental health dynamics of her characters, shining a light on important, real-life topics that are close to her heart. Heavily influenced by her own real life experiences, she pens tearjerking, and often harrowing narratives, giving another perspective to, often, unspoken everyday issues. Chloe hails from West Cork, Ireland, where she continues to reside with her family.
Represented by Caitlin Mahony of WME - for business queries contact: cma@wmeagency.com
Represented by Caitlin Mahony of WME - for business queries contact: cma@wmeagency.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 17,030 reviews
June 4, 2025
⁀ ⊹ ₊ "I want you to have the best life imaginable. Nobody deserves it more than you. I'll always love you, Hughie Biggs."
first and foremost, shoutout to manas. bestie, reading this book with you by my side was an absolute lifesaver. honestly, i don’t think i could have made it through the emotional wreckage without you. we need to make a pact to read everything together from now. i love you to the moon and back. no matter what.
okay, let's get into the nitty-gritty. this isn't just a story, it's an experience. it's the kind of book that crawls under your skin and sets up shop in your heart, only to proceed to systematically dismantle it, piece by agonizing piece. it felt like a thousand paper cuts, each one precisely placed to maximize the pain. i'm not exaggerating when i say i'm ruined. utterly, irrevocably ruined. and honestly, i wouldn't have it any other way.
let's talk about the people who made me want to throw my book across the room and then immediately hug it to my chest.
𖣠 lizzie young
i used to loathe lizzie. like, with a burning passion. all the shenanigans she pulled in taming 7 made me actively despise her character. i had zero sympathy, zero patience, and zero desire to ever think about her again. but this book changed everything. absolutely everything. CW crafted a version of lizzie that's not just sympathetic, but hauntingly beautiful. and when i say beautiful, i don't mean in a superficial, she's pretty kind of way. i mean beautiful in the way that broken things can be breathtakingly gorgeous. lizzie's journey is a brutal, unflinching look at trauma, mental illness, and the devastating consequences of neglect. reading about her struggles, her pain, her constant battle against her own mind it was heartbreaking. i was constantly battling the urge to reach through the pages and just hug her. the transformation i experienced reading this book was something else. i went from being a hardcore lizzie hater to a fiercely protective lizzie defender. i'm now convinced that anyone who dislikes her just hasn't truly seen her. she deserves the world, and i'm angry at the world for not giving it to her. CW peeled back the layers of her character, revealing the wounded, vulnerable soul beneath, and it completely shattered my preconceived notions.
⁀ ⊹ ₊ Hugh Biggs had whiskey eyes that didn’t look away. Instead, they stayed right on mine, warm and kind and chasing away the scary feeling in my head.
𖣠 hughie biggs:
where do i even begin? this boy has single-handedly raised my standards to a level that's probably unattainable in the real world. he's the epitome of a good guy, but not in that bland, boring way. he's soft-spoken, incredibly intelligent, and possesses a maturity that's frankly astonishing. but what truly sets hughie apart is his unwavering devotion to lizzie. he's been her rock, her confidante, her champion, and her shield. he's fought for her, defended her, and stood by her side even when everyone else turned away. he's the kind of person who sees the best in you even when you can't see it yourself. the way their relationship unfolds is both beautiful and heart-wrenching. you can feel the deep, abiding connection between them, the unspoken understanding that transcends words. and that's what makes the ending so damn painful. i'm convinced that liz and hugh are soulmates, destined to be together in every universe.
⁀ ⊹ ₊ There was something different about her. I didn’t understand what that something was or why it had happened, but I knew it had.
𖣠 the plot
okay, let's talk about the plot. and let me preface this by saying: it's heavy. really, really heavy. i'm going to list the trigger warnings at the end of this review, because it's crucial to be aware of what you're getting into. releasing 10 delves deep into lizzie's struggles with bipolar disorder, and it doesn't shy away from the gritty, uncomfortable realities of mental illness. her journey is fraught with pain, sexual abuse, and a constant battle against her own mind. the depiction of her physical and mental abuse is particularly harrowing, and it left me feeling sick to my stomach. her parents' failure to provide her with the support and care she desperately needed was infuriating. i will admit, the beginning of the book was a bit slow. there were moments when the pacing felt repetitive, and i found myself getting a little bored. but trust me, stick with it. the last 30% of this book is where the magic (and the heartbreak) truly happens. it had me in a chokehold, gasping for air, and sobbing so hard that my nose was dripping. it was the kind of ugly cry that leaves you feeling drained and emotionally raw. the emotional payoff is immense. even though it broke me into a million pieces, i wouldn't trade the experience for anything.
⁀ ⊹ ₊ Because it felt like I had been programmed to protect this girl. The only problem was, I needed protection from her. Because no one could hurt me like Liz could.
please be aware that this book contains depictions of the following:
⊹ mental illness (bipolar disorder)
⊹ sexual abuse on a minor (on-page)
⊹ forced miscarriage on a minor (on-page)
⊹ emotional abuse
⊹ self-harm
⊹ suicidal ideation
⊹ graphic violence
⊹ hospitalization for mental health reasons
p.s. manas, let's read something light and fluffy next. my soul needs a break.
June 2, 2025
6 stars. Of pain and suffering and agony. I feel sick. I’m incapable of moving on. This book haunts my every waking thought. I’ve never been in so much pain from a story. I relate so deeply to Lizzie that it’s going to take me a while to sit down and collect myself for a review, but it will come soon I promise. NO MATTER WHAT.
June 20, 2025
DID YOU KISS THE BRICK WHEN YOU THREW IT AT ME?!? 😔🙏🏻✋🏻💔🤺
Want to read
March 20, 2025lizzie & hughie defender until the day i die. getting an official release date healed something deep inside me…i’m ready for chloe to ruin me all over again.
May 23, 2025
All you people leaving 1-star reviews and bullying the author, because she chose to write a story about a previous bully, is a bit ironic, no?
June 3, 2025
5 stars doesn’t even begin to cut it.
I’m writing this through my tears.
I’m writing this through my tears.
June 2, 2025
My review got deleted so I’ll keep this short: this is supposed to be a romance and the way you’re going about with these specific traumas is concerning.
I don’t know why you think it’s necessary to have certain things written in such detail. In this case, child SA. Some things are meant to be fade-to-black and some content within this book is absolutely one of them.
Consider adding specific trigger warnings (and a dedicated trigger page) as the content warnings in the authors note are broad, brushed over, and not enough. How is this still YA?
Kind of insane to dedicate this book “for the survivors” yet you used the previous book main character, who is also a child SA survivor, as a plot twist for shock value. That’s nasty. You are not bringing awareness for CSA, you are straight up writing trauma porn.
I don’t know why you think it’s necessary to have certain things written in such detail. In this case, child SA. Some things are meant to be fade-to-black and some content within this book is absolutely one of them.
Consider adding specific trigger warnings (and a dedicated trigger page) as the content warnings in the authors note are broad, brushed over, and not enough. How is this still YA?
Kind of insane to dedicate this book “for the survivors” yet you used the previous book main character, who is also a child SA survivor, as a plot twist for shock value. That’s nasty. You are not bringing awareness for CSA, you are straight up writing trauma porn.
May 25, 2025
rating this based on the first few chapters. chloe walsh you are not right in the head. writing about child rape in such excruciating detail is beyond weird. and to write about child rape not once, not twice, but THRICE- because darren was a victim too- is just fucked up.
also dumping every possible trauma on lizzie is just ridiculous at this point. it feels like every bad thing under the sun has happened to her, and i can’t help but think cw is using it as a way to make readers feel bad for disliking her, and to excuse her actions in the last book. it’s getting absurd
with every spoiler/snippet i see, it just keeps getting worse and worse. somebody go through this woman’s hard drive right now, it’s not normal to be writing such graphic details about CHILDREN.
also dumping every possible trauma on lizzie is just ridiculous at this point. it feels like every bad thing under the sun has happened to her, and i can’t help but think cw is using it as a way to make readers feel bad for disliking her, and to excuse her actions in the last book. it’s getting absurd
with every spoiler/snippet i see, it just keeps getting worse and worse. somebody go through this woman’s hard drive right now, it’s not normal to be writing such graphic details about CHILDREN.
December 12, 2025
This is a tough book to read, a tough book to rate and review. This was definitely the heaviest and darkest book in the series. It practically makes B13 and K13 look all sunshine and walk in the park. The triggers should be checked and please be mindful of your health before diving into this one.
I honestly don't even know where to start. There was little to no happiness in this book. Just a few scenes of stability and brief peace here and there. Sure, there's love in it. But it was so raw through such darkness, I feel like it never got the chance to shine. Hopefully there will be some healing in the next book.
Lizzie, I went in from hating her to understanding, fiercely protective of her and deeply caring for her. She is not the most perfect girl out there and that's totally fine. The pain she has gone through had me bawling my eyes out throughout the book. And I desperately want to see that healing and growth arc in her character. But at the same time, I also cannot excuse the fact that there were times she mistreated people. Trauma is not an excuse to hurt others. She did not do it intentionally but it became a cycle that she refused to break free from.
Hugh is someone I had always thought of as the mature one, I just never realized the extent of how deeply mature and perceptive he was since the beginning. He's too precious to have been hurt like that. I understand his perception of the events too because he never really had the full picture and at the same time even with it, it will never excuse what happened to their relationship. He is not in the wrong to protect himself and put himself first too. His emotions are valid too.
Their romance is something that I feel like is genuine but even though the feelings and emotions are strong. The foundation never was. There were too many secrets, too many gaps in communication, too much imbalance with how Hugh was made to be the caretaker eventually. I don't blame Lizzie at all for keeping those things with her, it's never going to be easy to speak about it with how she was feeling. But it was the way that the cheating was casually brushed off by her in those inital moments that were almost cold and cruel.
Which brings me to my next point, there were people around Lizzie. She had therapy, she had Hugh. She had her mom. She had friends. There was always support available and yet she felt alone and isolated herself because of her own darkness. It's realistic as much as it hurts. But the fact she lashed out on Gibsie willingly, made Claire feel bad and lastly hurt Hugh in the worst way possible and it's something I'm struggling to look past.
Also, I do think this could have been 100-120 pages less. There were some repetitive scenarios and fillers in the book. But I'm looking forward to reading the next one. I'm not ready for Katie to be the collateral damage though. I just want to see some growth and healing. Not the messes and chaos and trauma for once.
I'm gonna take some deep breaths now....
Thanks to lovely Carolina for reading it with me. You're a gem 🩷
~•~•~
I'm genuinely scared to start this one especially after having read everyone's trauma filled reviews 😭 But I'm finally doing it. Wish me luck 🤞
I honestly don't even know where to start. There was little to no happiness in this book. Just a few scenes of stability and brief peace here and there. Sure, there's love in it. But it was so raw through such darkness, I feel like it never got the chance to shine. Hopefully there will be some healing in the next book.
Lizzie, I went in from hating her to understanding, fiercely protective of her and deeply caring for her. She is not the most perfect girl out there and that's totally fine. The pain she has gone through had me bawling my eyes out throughout the book. And I desperately want to see that healing and growth arc in her character. But at the same time, I also cannot excuse the fact that there were times she mistreated people. Trauma is not an excuse to hurt others. She did not do it intentionally but it became a cycle that she refused to break free from.
Hugh is someone I had always thought of as the mature one, I just never realized the extent of how deeply mature and perceptive he was since the beginning. He's too precious to have been hurt like that. I understand his perception of the events too because he never really had the full picture and at the same time even with it, it will never excuse what happened to their relationship. He is not in the wrong to protect himself and put himself first too. His emotions are valid too.
Their romance is something that I feel like is genuine but even though the feelings and emotions are strong. The foundation never was. There were too many secrets, too many gaps in communication, too much imbalance with how Hugh was made to be the caretaker eventually. I don't blame Lizzie at all for keeping those things with her, it's never going to be easy to speak about it with how she was feeling. But it was the way that the cheating was casually brushed off by her in those inital moments that were almost cold and cruel.
Which brings me to my next point, there were people around Lizzie. She had therapy, she had Hugh. She had her mom. She had friends. There was always support available and yet she felt alone and isolated herself because of her own darkness. It's realistic as much as it hurts. But the fact she lashed out on Gibsie willingly, made Claire feel bad and lastly hurt Hugh in the worst way possible and it's something I'm struggling to look past.
Also, I do think this could have been 100-120 pages less. There were some repetitive scenarios and fillers in the book. But I'm looking forward to reading the next one. I'm not ready for Katie to be the collateral damage though. I just want to see some growth and healing. Not the messes and chaos and trauma for once.
I'm gonna take some deep breaths now....
Thanks to lovely Carolina for reading it with me. You're a gem 🩷
~•~•~
I'm genuinely scared to start this one especially after having read everyone's trauma filled reviews 😭 But I'm finally doing it. Wish me luck 🤞
June 26, 2025
Did I finish the book!? Or Did the book finish me Instead!? RTC!!- Once I stop Screaming into the void... 
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~🗣️Alexa Play~ Please Please Please -by Sabrina Carpenter
Oh great, another Boys of Tommen book, another emotional breakdown pending. We survived Binding 13, barely crawled through Keeping 13, and Taming 7 left us emotionally bankrupt… so naturally, Chloe Walsh said, “Let’s turn up the pain dial.”btw,wasn't it claiming 10 before!? Anyway.
Hughie and Lizzie? Oh yeah, my emotional stability is doomed.Slow-burn? Check. Years of tension? Check. A guaranteed soul-crushing experience courtesy of Chloe Walsh? Oh, absolutely. And Lizzie, girl, I’ve seen what you’ve done in the other books—I’m side-eyeing HARD. 🫣Hays too? This is a setup. And OMG, that Taming 7 scene when they got caught??? PURE. CHAOS. I was CRACKING UP. Like, the AUDACITY, the SHAME, the SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT.💀 And now, with both Hughie and Lizzie already having partners?? Oh, this is gonna be an absolute dumpster fire in the best way. I can feel the mess, the angst, the emotional whiplash. Chloe Walsh really woke up one day and chose violence. 😭
If this book shatters me, just know my therapy bill is en-route to Chloe Walsh’s inbox. 🫠
~What to Expect:
🦋Childhood Friends-to-enemies-lovers tension that’ll have you screaming at your Kindle
🦋Rugby boys and their messy, chaotic friendships
🦋Angst, heartbreak, and emotional rollercoasters (as expected from Chloe Walsh!)
🦋Slow-burn, but when it ignites… brace yourself
Are we ready? Absolutely not. Are we diving in anyway? 100%.
----- -----
~🗣️Alexa Play~ Please Please Please -by Sabrina Carpenter
Oh great, another Boys of Tommen book, another emotional breakdown pending. We survived Binding 13, barely crawled through Keeping 13, and Taming 7 left us emotionally bankrupt… so naturally, Chloe Walsh said, “Let’s turn up the pain dial.”btw,wasn't it claiming 10 before!? Anyway.
Hughie and Lizzie? Oh yeah, my emotional stability is doomed.Slow-burn? Check. Years of tension? Check. A guaranteed soul-crushing experience courtesy of Chloe Walsh? Oh, absolutely. And Lizzie, girl, I’ve seen what you’ve done in the other books—I’m side-eyeing HARD. 🫣Hays too? This is a setup. And OMG, that Taming 7 scene when they got caught??? PURE. CHAOS. I was CRACKING UP. Like, the AUDACITY, the SHAME, the SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT.💀 And now, with both Hughie and Lizzie already having partners?? Oh, this is gonna be an absolute dumpster fire in the best way. I can feel the mess, the angst, the emotional whiplash. Chloe Walsh really woke up one day and chose violence. 😭
If this book shatters me, just know my therapy bill is en-route to Chloe Walsh’s inbox. 🫠
~What to Expect:
🦋Childhood Friends-to-enemies-lovers tension that’ll have you screaming at your Kindle
🦋Rugby boys and their messy, chaotic friendships
🦋Angst, heartbreak, and emotional rollercoasters (as expected from Chloe Walsh!)
🦋Slow-burn, but when it ignites… brace yourself
Are we ready? Absolutely not. Are we diving in anyway? 100%.
June 20, 2025
Knocking off .5 for the usual reason with Chloe’s books lol. I got to 60% and honestly didn’t know how much steam I had left in me lol. Too damn long, I’m still going to round up to 5 stars bc I went from despising Lizzie to being ready to burn the world for her by 16% in.
If you've reached this point in this series, then you know they're heavy right? For the life of me, I can't understand the hate that the author is receiving over this particular story.
I find it deeply troubling that individuals, who do not like, agree with, think was made for them, makes them slightly uncomfortable, or idk are just having a bad day take to social media and bully an author who has been very candid with the public as far as her trauma.
Offended by everything and ashamed of nothing. It's disgusting. Triggers are clearly labeled. If you can't take it, don't read it. Not liking something does not entitle you to harass people online.
And to those special individuals who love to troll positive posts about this author or any other author that doesn't strike your fancy.... in all seriousness. Seek therapy.
Further review in a bit.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
FFS Finally I can update this review. The amount hate this woman is receiving while she’s on the internet opening up about her traumas is INSANE and heartbreaking.
Not a Lizzie fan but I’m dying to understand her more. Here we go.
I'm so confused lol. What is this Claiming 10 that I've had on my TBR? This one is first I guess? Anyway I'm here for it.
The avg rating on this one already is a little scary lol. Bruh.
Expected Pub Date 05/17/25
If you've reached this point in this series, then you know they're heavy right? For the life of me, I can't understand the hate that the author is receiving over this particular story.
I find it deeply troubling that individuals, who do not like, agree with, think was made for them, makes them slightly uncomfortable, or idk are just having a bad day take to social media and bully an author who has been very candid with the public as far as her trauma.
Offended by everything and ashamed of nothing. It's disgusting. Triggers are clearly labeled. If you can't take it, don't read it. Not liking something does not entitle you to harass people online.
And to those special individuals who love to troll positive posts about this author or any other author that doesn't strike your fancy.... in all seriousness. Seek therapy.
Further review in a bit.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
FFS Finally I can update this review. The amount hate this woman is receiving while she’s on the internet opening up about her traumas is INSANE and heartbreaking.
Not a Lizzie fan but I’m dying to understand her more. Here we go.
I'm so confused lol. What is this Claiming 10 that I've had on my TBR? This one is first I guess? Anyway I'm here for it.
The avg rating on this one already is a little scary lol. Bruh.
Expected Pub Date 05/17/25
May 21, 2025
straight up trauma porn chloe walsh NEVER pick up a pen again
June 2, 2025
⭐️ 4.5 stars I could cure a drought with my tears after reading this 😭 RTC
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I feel sick to my stomach starting this. I know it’s going to be like a car accident I can’t look away from 😭💔
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THIS ANNOUNCEMENT HAS MADE MY ENTIRE YEAR OMFG LET’S GO 🤩 Hughie and Liz defenders rise because we are about to be fed 768 pages in May 🥳👏🍾
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I feel sick to my stomach starting this. I know it’s going to be like a car accident I can’t look away from 😭💔
——
THIS ANNOUNCEMENT HAS MADE MY ENTIRE YEAR OMFG LET’S GO 🤩 Hughie and Liz defenders rise because we are about to be fed 768 pages in May 🥳👏🍾
May 21, 2025
i hope cw finally gets clocked for her problematic bs. how mentally disturbed you have to be to write so many scenes about child being r@ped in such a detail....
June 3, 2025
Update. I've read it. My opinion below stands and I'll add more to the end.
Original Review (posted 2 months before release):
"Honestly, I've never rated a book I haven't read before but these one star reviews of a book they haven't even read is just dumb. If you have a problem with the author or characters that you know from previous books, why are you even here?? You people literally ruin the whole point of a ratings/review system for others."
Now, to add more:
Y'all are tripping if you think this is "EXTREMELY detailed" like I'm seeing comments and other reviews say. Just because it wasn't fade to black... You aren't supposed to feel comfortable reading it. It's supposed to be impactful. It was written in such a way that it was more on the vague side of things. This was raw, vulnerable and real. It did NOT glorify and it did NOT romanticise.
Child p*rn is such a reach it's not even funny. This is cold hard reality for too many, and they deserve to have stories to relate to - if they choose to. Many survivors find this sort of thing very healing and to say that they're sick for reading it is WILD. If you are sensitive, KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS. Even if the book doesn't contain a list, it warns you. Goodreads reviews warn you. Tiktok warns you. Instagram warns you. CHLOE WALSH'S WEBSITE WARNS YOU with a whole LIST. People who are triggered need to take some responsibility upon themselves to take care of their own mental health. This is book SIX. if you seriously went in expecting a fluffy romance and no tough topics at this point, I fear your intelligence may be the issue. The prior book contained SA of a child. The prior 4 books contained drug use, attempted suicide, child abuse, miscarriage after injury and the list goes on. Come on, people.
Original Review (posted 2 months before release):
"Honestly, I've never rated a book I haven't read before but these one star reviews of a book they haven't even read is just dumb. If you have a problem with the author or characters that you know from previous books, why are you even here?? You people literally ruin the whole point of a ratings/review system for others."
Now, to add more:
Y'all are tripping if you think this is "EXTREMELY detailed" like I'm seeing comments and other reviews say. Just because it wasn't fade to black... You aren't supposed to feel comfortable reading it. It's supposed to be impactful. It was written in such a way that it was more on the vague side of things. This was raw, vulnerable and real. It did NOT glorify and it did NOT romanticise.
Child p*rn is such a reach it's not even funny. This is cold hard reality for too many, and they deserve to have stories to relate to - if they choose to. Many survivors find this sort of thing very healing and to say that they're sick for reading it is WILD. If you are sensitive, KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS. Even if the book doesn't contain a list, it warns you. Goodreads reviews warn you. Tiktok warns you. Instagram warns you. CHLOE WALSH'S WEBSITE WARNS YOU with a whole LIST. People who are triggered need to take some responsibility upon themselves to take care of their own mental health. This is book SIX. if you seriously went in expecting a fluffy romance and no tough topics at this point, I fear your intelligence may be the issue. The prior book contained SA of a child. The prior 4 books contained drug use, attempted suicide, child abuse, miscarriage after injury and the list goes on. Come on, people.
September 4, 2025
(snippets from chloe's spotify below my review)
i genuinely dont know how i am going to survive till the next book comes out because
wow wow wow wow WOW!
i am a complete and utter mess!!
this book ripped me to shreds
i don’t think you guys understand how deeply rooted these characters are in my soul 😭
and i really dont know how to start this review because i just know im not going to be able to articulate how fucking incredible it was
i’m just going to ramble and see how it goes 😭
lizzie’s mental health was SO WELL DONE!!!
her mind and psyche were broken, abused, groomed, manipulated, lied to, not believed, degraded, let down, and betrayed to that point where they actually fractured. she couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dreams, couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake. her mind was broken, no it was fucking shattered and my heart ACHES for her
her mania and spiral were absolutely heartbreaking
and side note: if you think lizzie actually cheated on hughie… pls stay away from me. she not only had the mania induced hyper sexuality but she was also literally GROOMED to think that sex and letting a man use her would fix her…
she legit asked hughie for his medicine at one point in the book.
she was manic, drunk, out of her mind because what was it? a couple months earlier she was attacked and REraped by the man who groomed her, who raped her since she was FIVE, who held her hostage and killed her sister. who put in her head that sex and being used would fix her because her sister and father spoke so horribly to her she thought she was bad and needed to be good for him to be okay… she was also calling out for hughie the entire time, pierce definitely heard that and continued to use her, she was crying and having flashbacks of her long term rapist while she was, guess what? being raped by pierce.
and he imo continues to assault her. he KNOWS she is vulnerable and not mentally there. he told hughie he knew and yet he still continues to take advantage of her.
every time they are together she is thinking she is being a good girl and getting her medicine!! my poor girl 😭 and she’s literally itching beneath her skin for sex because of the hyper sexuality she is experiencing, but she doesn’t even realize what’s really happening and won’t remember most of it. pierce is “fixing” her to be a good girl and it probably really does feel that way to her not just because of the extreme grooming she has experienced but because she’s satiated after the hyper sexuality gets what it wants.
i personally think the reason their relationship will continue, as we have seen it does in the timeline of the other books in the series, is because that is was lizzie thinks she deserves 💔 we see her give up hugh at the end of this book and he was really her only guiding light through her life. this relationship is a form of self harm which we are all aware liz struggles with. i don’t think she will be completely manic from what ive seen. i think she will take pierce’s abuse and mistreatment willingly and that is a clear representation of how she sees herself. i do think she will spiral again but i don’t personally think she is going to be off her meds the whole time.
now hugh being mad.. i understand and i think other people do need to try and look at it from both perspectives because he has zero clue as to what liz has been through. i know he knows about hyper sexuality but he doesn’t know the extreme circumstances in her case and what sex is in her mind. he also doesn’t know that she was asking pierce to go get him, calling out for him because she thought it was him, crying, and having flashbacks of her long term abuser while it was happening.
thats my stance on that
hughie was 100000% the most lover boy, yearning, dedicated man and he is PERFECT for liz. I don't know how anyone could read this book and not just fall in love with hughliz, not care and hurt for the both of them and what they have had to go through. hugh is lizzie’s #1 supporter even AFTER that night and i think goes to show the kind of mature and intelligent man he is. there is no one like him and i highly doubt there ever will be.
like when i think about how everyone in this book failed her EXCEPT for hughie… 💔 he is her forever
i also had to keep reminding myself that this book was mainly 1990’s and sexual abuse was not nearly as talked about and didnt have the kind of awareness it does now, because as a nurse, if a child said some of the things lizzie was saying?? oh id be calling cps IMMEDIATELY. so when the doctors told her it was her dreams i was about to loose it 😅 and thennnnn i had to remember that the way she described it could have sounded like a dream and doctors really weren't screening and watching out for molestation back then as they do now
on a more happy note (prepare yourself for this one paragraph of joy lmao) i LOVED seeing the friendship group!!! they were so freaking cute and the way they played together and were there for eachother and teased eachother!! they were adorable. i love them all so bad!! and when johnny came into the picture??? that man really did not give a single FUCK about anything other than rugby and gibs. i was DYING seeing him like that. oh shan, you really have no clue 🤣
oh my god guys, can you imagine lizzie's shock & confusion when gibie's secret is revealed???
ok emotional WHIPLASH sorry guys 🤣
but my god, my heart!! and especially now after seeing how they were as kids and seeing how they both got around mark!!! gibs and her sticking together when mark approached them and this quote:
“i haven’t told anyone else,” i whispered. “not even hugh.”
“me either,” he whispered. “not even Claire.”
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
they dont even know!!!
i can’t even begin to image what is going through lizzie’s head after claire blurts that out and it all comes to light.
and as bad as it sounds i cannot wait to see the aftermath because right now lizzie doesn’t even see herself as a victim because she can’t even comprehend what has happened to her. she didn’t even have the vocabulary to describe it to anyone and she still doesn't know that is was REAL!!!
the aftermath is going to be insane and i cannot wait for everything to come out and for hugh to legit blown shit up for her!! she deserves so much more than she has been given and it sickens me.
and you will NEVER catch me choosing team liz or team gibs. i am team VICTIMS!!! you guys who pick and choose and side with only one do realize that you are doing exactly what mark wants right??? He purposefully sets out to destroy their relationship so they will never talk and expose him…
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE, LOVE, AND SUPPORT THEM BOTH!!!
I don't know how people are able to only want to support one. i really don't
i think that is all… for now? im sure i will think of stuff and end up adding on later lmao. i could literally talk about lizzie, this book, and just in general the boys of tommen world for HOURS on end. i could write a world renowned essay on lizzie alone 😭
if you made it this far, you’re a real one 😆🫶
✨✨✨✨if you are here for the snippets... here you go!! ✨✨✨✨
pov: liz
"Everyone back on the bus!" Coach Mulcahy roared, causing Hugh to push my hand away.
“Due to the unfortunate incident with Kavanagh back there, we're going to be staying over in Dublin tonight. The school has managed to book us into a hotel at last minute, but it's going to be a tight squeeze, lads."
pov: hughie
My heart cracked in my chest but I forced myself to keep smiling. "You trust me, don't you, Liz? I would never do anything to hurt you." I gently traced her bottom lip with my thumb until she parted her lips.
"That's it." The pain I felt when I placed both pills on her tongue was worse than anything I'd felt before. "Good girl."
"Here," Feely said before thrusting the mouthwash glass...
pov: hughie
"I'll see you tonight, Hugh," Liz called out, taking aim at my girlfriend with a much sharper blade.
"You remember which bedroom is mine, right?" Katie stopped dead in her tracks, letting Liz know she had hit the target.
"What the hell, Hugh?"
pov: hughie
"Don't hate me," Liz squeezed out, the words barely more than a broken whisper.
"Please God, Hugh, please don't ever look at me the way everyone else does."
pov: liz
"You woke up in my house because that's where you told your mother you were staying," Hugh snapped. "You're in my bed because you point blank refused to let me bring you back to my sister's room - where you were supposed to be sleeping." Shoving his chair back, he stood up and paced his bedroom floor like a madman. "And you're naked because when you climbed into my bed, you took your clothes off."
pov: hughie
"You know how I feel about her, Kate."
"I know she's bad for you," she pushed back. "I know how badly she destroyed you the last time you gave her a chance to." She squeezed my hand. "Don't let her hurt you twice, Hugh."
"It's not that simple."
"It can be," she pushed. "You can have a simple life if you just walk away." She held up her pinky finger. Uncertain, I hooked my finger around hers.
pov: hughie
"Hugh, wait "
"You should be scared," I cut in, standing against everything and everyone I had ever known. "You should be fucking terrified of the memories trapped inside her head. She can bring this whole town down, asshole. She's not just the key. She's the walking, breathing evidence!"
pov: liz
"You shouldn't be." Taking his big hand in mine, I pressed a kiss to his palm.
"Don't trust me, Hugh." I forced myself to warn, even though it almost killed me to say it. "Don't forgive me, either." I kissed his hand again. "Because I don't know how long I'll be me." His hand on my cheek moved to cup the back of my head in silent protest. "She can love you the right way."
pov: hughie
“Relax", she whispered, stepping closer until our bodies were flush together. “I’m yours."
She had no idea how badly I needed to hear that right now. Her hands came around to cup my face, causing my body to ignite in an almost pained sensation. It was too much. She was too fucking much for me.
"I love you," she whispered, blue eyes snaring me one blink at a time. "So much."
pov: liz
"Look at me, Liz." Gripping my face in his hands, Hugh drew me back to him. "You are not crazy." I could feel his thumbs brush my cheekbones. I shivered violently, clinging to the certainty in his voice. "You are going to be okay." Pulling me closer, he rested his brow to mine. "I'm not going to let him send you away again."
pov: liz
"You're going to come down from this, Liz" His brown eyes were so hypnotizing, l felt like I was falling into them. "You're not broken. You're not bad. You're sick."
"I'm not sick."
"You are so fucking sick, baby, and I am terrified for you."
"Don't be." I laughed.
pov: hughie
"Take me," she commanded against my lips, blue eyes locked on mine. "Have me."
"I am," I snarled, angrily kissing, teeth clashing, as we moved on primal instinct.
"Are you happy now?"
"Yes." Fisting my hair roughly, she yanked my head back and then shoved at my chest, pushing me onto my back. "Because you're mine."
Reaching for my hands, she pinned them above me.
pov: hughie
"That's my baby." Shaking, I smoothed her hair off her face. "You keep that heart beating, ya hear?"
Trembling violently, she looked up at me and nodded.
"I love you, Hugh Biggs." I opened my mouth to respond only to hear it crack when I whispered the words,
"I know you do." Sniffling, I pulled her in close and pressed a kiss to her cracked "I love you more, Lizzie Young."
pov: liz
"I didn't hear you pleading my case to Hugh last year, Patrick" I shot back. "In fact, I remember you encouraging him to leave me."
"Because you are fucking toxic to him, Liz, and she's not," Patrick heaved. "You broke him, and he's still trying to pick up the pieces!"
"Yeah, because I'm the only girl whose mistakes are unforgivable," I cried, hating the tears that trickled down my cheeks. "Fuck."
pov: liz
"Why Hugh?"
"Why what, Liz?"
"Why keep saving me?" He was quiet for so long that I honestly didn't think he was going to answer, but then his lips parted, and with a pained breath, the words, “because I'm in love with you," escaped like a tortured prayer.
pov: liz
“I wont let that happen to you," Hugh vowed, hand gripping my damp cheeks. “Over my dead body.
Clenching my eyes shut, I allowed myself to lean into his strength just one more time. "It's okay." Sniffling, I turned my face and pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. "You can't save me this time, Hugh."
He pulled me flush against him and kissed my brow before hissing, "Watch me.”
pov: liz
Hugh tugged a rogue strand of hair behind my ear and exhaled a heavy sigh as he studied my face. "These eyes haunt me." His thumb brushed the curve of my cheekbone. "And this hair." He tugged on my braid. "And this." He reached up and cupped my face in his hands. "This crazy mind." He shook his head before brushing his lips against my left temple, and then my right. "This beautiful mind.”
pov: hughie
"You're throwing away everything for that girl, Biggie," he warned. "You sure she's worth it?"
Unwilling to back down or look away, I straightened my shoulders and met his glare head on.
"If the tables were turned, and I asked you that same question about Shannon, you'd say yes, wouldn't ya?"
Johnny's nostrils flared. "Absolutely."
I nodded stiffly. "Then you have your answer."
pov: liz
"Liz." His chest heaved and his eyes flooded with emotion. I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything." Sucking in a steadying breath, I looked up at him and smiled. "You don't need to save me this time, Hugh.”
pov: liz
"You can hate me all you want," I hissed back at him, while pulling at the waistband of his sweats to free him. "But do it while you're fucking me again."
"I'm not fucking you again, Liz," he seethed, leaning so close to my face that his lips brushed against mine when he spoke. The move caused us both to groan in unison. Releasing a growl, I tilted my chin upwards and traced my tongue over his.
pov: liz
"You don't have to do this, Hugh," I whispered, voice cracking, as I hooked my arms around my knees.
"Hey." Tipping my chin up with his fingers, he slowly shook his head and then brushed a bubble off my cheek before clearing his throat and refocusing on his task. "So, I had the weirdest class today." Rambling on about pointless school gossip, he took the time to shampoo and condition my hair.
pov: hughie
"Oh my God," Katie croaked out, coming to stand behind me, phone in hand. "I think we should call the Gards."
"Don't," I warned, snatching the phone out of her hands and ending the call before it connected. "She's not a fucking criminal, Katie!" Hurt filled my girlfriend's eyes.
"Well, she's not sane either, Hugh."
pov: liz
"Can we listen to something else?" Claire asked, not so discretely sliding the latest McFly album towards me. "Something a little more 2004."
"Sacrilege," I shot back, feigning a gasp. "Stevie stays."
"Omigod, I can't get away from this song," Claire whined, flopping onto her back and draping a pillow over her face. "Hugh plays it constantly."
My ears perked up. "He does?"
"On a bloody loop!"
pov: liz
With his school shirt hanging open, revealing those beautiful well-carved abdominal muscles and that dark dusting of hair beneath his navel, my ex-boyfriend looked inhumanely beautiful. Jesus. Holding my breath, I continued to stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, as we stood side by side, brushing our teeth is tense silence.
pov: liz
After finishing with my hair, Hugh offered me the razor. Numb, I took it from his hand and tried to pretend that I didn't notice the way he was lingering super close to me, ready to lunge at any moment and unarm me if I misused it in anyway. I didn't. Instead, I did what I had to do, using the blade for its intended purpose, before handing it back to him.
"It won't be forever, Liz."
pov: hugh
"Maybe you're just better off without me," she whispered, arms hooked around her boney knees.
"My head's all kinds of fucked up, Hugh."
"Maybe," I agreed, leaning against the rock at my back. "But we both know I'm not going anywhere."
"God, I needed to hear you say that." A lone tear trickled down her cheek, and I watched her use her knee to swipe it away. "You'll never know how much."
pov: liz
"No matter what?"
A deep shiver racked through his big body, and then I felt him nod against my neck, lips brushing my skin as he whispered, "Yeah, Liz." His arms tightened around me, enveloping my body in his protective embrace. "No matter what."
pov: hugh
"Did anyone think about actually listening to her?" Lynchy asked. "Maybe she's been trying to tell you something all along." He shrugged. "Maybe you're not listening." He exhaled a cloud of smoke before adding, "Or maybe you've been asking the wrong questions."
pov: hugh
"Is that how it is for you, Hughie?" she asked. "When she looks at you? Do you feel guilty?"
"I fell in love with her when I was seven years old," I admitted quietly. "And I've been in love with her every day since. Even when she broke my heart, and even though she continues to break it." I blew out a pained breath. "So yeah, Katie, I feel a lot of things."
"But you won't go back?"
"No."
pov: hugh
"Listen, don't do anything reckless, okay?"
"I know, Hugh"
"I mean it, ba - Liz."
"You should go." She gestured to where Katie was standing off to the side of the carpark. "Your girlfriend looks pissed."
pov: hugh
"Stress triggers her mania," I explained. "She spends her life balancing on a tightrope. and when something happens, it knocks her on her ass. She'll get back up. She always does, but the carnage is horrific. But she'll get up again. She's the strongest person I've ever met."
"How can you be here for her when she's put you through hell?"
I glared at Feely. "Because she's still my Liz."
pov: liz
Sighing heavily, Hugh reached an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace offering me the only form of comfort I had ever been able to receive without wanting to peel the skin from my bones. This boy was the only boy whose touch didn't make my skin crawl. His hands
pov: liz
"Liz, come on, baby, you have to get out." Panicked, he reached into the driver's seat and unfastened my seat belt before physically lifting me out.
"I've got you, Liz." His voice in my ear was the only part of reality I could find in this moment. Just this voice. Just this boy. "No matter what."
I am at goodreads character limit 💀 so I'll put any more snippets I have/find in comments!
i genuinely dont know how i am going to survive till the next book comes out because
wow wow wow wow WOW!
i am a complete and utter mess!!
this book ripped me to shreds
i don’t think you guys understand how deeply rooted these characters are in my soul 😭
and i really dont know how to start this review because i just know im not going to be able to articulate how fucking incredible it was
i’m just going to ramble and see how it goes 😭
lizzie’s mental health was SO WELL DONE!!!
her mind and psyche were broken, abused, groomed, manipulated, lied to, not believed, degraded, let down, and betrayed to that point where they actually fractured. she couldn’t tell the difference between reality and dreams, couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake. her mind was broken, no it was fucking shattered and my heart ACHES for her
her mania and spiral were absolutely heartbreaking
and side note: if you think lizzie actually cheated on hughie… pls stay away from me. she not only had the mania induced hyper sexuality but she was also literally GROOMED to think that sex and letting a man use her would fix her…
she legit asked hughie for his medicine at one point in the book.
she was manic, drunk, out of her mind because what was it? a couple months earlier she was attacked and REraped by the man who groomed her, who raped her since she was FIVE, who held her hostage and killed her sister. who put in her head that sex and being used would fix her because her sister and father spoke so horribly to her she thought she was bad and needed to be good for him to be okay… she was also calling out for hughie the entire time, pierce definitely heard that and continued to use her, she was crying and having flashbacks of her long term rapist while she was, guess what? being raped by pierce.
and he imo continues to assault her. he KNOWS she is vulnerable and not mentally there. he told hughie he knew and yet he still continues to take advantage of her.
every time they are together she is thinking she is being a good girl and getting her medicine!! my poor girl 😭 and she’s literally itching beneath her skin for sex because of the hyper sexuality she is experiencing, but she doesn’t even realize what’s really happening and won’t remember most of it. pierce is “fixing” her to be a good girl and it probably really does feel that way to her not just because of the extreme grooming she has experienced but because she’s satiated after the hyper sexuality gets what it wants.
i personally think the reason their relationship will continue, as we have seen it does in the timeline of the other books in the series, is because that is was lizzie thinks she deserves 💔 we see her give up hugh at the end of this book and he was really her only guiding light through her life. this relationship is a form of self harm which we are all aware liz struggles with. i don’t think she will be completely manic from what ive seen. i think she will take pierce’s abuse and mistreatment willingly and that is a clear representation of how she sees herself. i do think she will spiral again but i don’t personally think she is going to be off her meds the whole time.
now hugh being mad.. i understand and i think other people do need to try and look at it from both perspectives because he has zero clue as to what liz has been through. i know he knows about hyper sexuality but he doesn’t know the extreme circumstances in her case and what sex is in her mind. he also doesn’t know that she was asking pierce to go get him, calling out for him because she thought it was him, crying, and having flashbacks of her long term abuser while it was happening.
thats my stance on that
hughie was 100000% the most lover boy, yearning, dedicated man and he is PERFECT for liz. I don't know how anyone could read this book and not just fall in love with hughliz, not care and hurt for the both of them and what they have had to go through. hugh is lizzie’s #1 supporter even AFTER that night and i think goes to show the kind of mature and intelligent man he is. there is no one like him and i highly doubt there ever will be.
like when i think about how everyone in this book failed her EXCEPT for hughie… 💔 he is her forever
i also had to keep reminding myself that this book was mainly 1990’s and sexual abuse was not nearly as talked about and didnt have the kind of awareness it does now, because as a nurse, if a child said some of the things lizzie was saying?? oh id be calling cps IMMEDIATELY. so when the doctors told her it was her dreams i was about to loose it 😅 and thennnnn i had to remember that the way she described it could have sounded like a dream and doctors really weren't screening and watching out for molestation back then as they do now
on a more happy note (prepare yourself for this one paragraph of joy lmao) i LOVED seeing the friendship group!!! they were so freaking cute and the way they played together and were there for eachother and teased eachother!! they were adorable. i love them all so bad!! and when johnny came into the picture??? that man really did not give a single FUCK about anything other than rugby and gibs. i was DYING seeing him like that. oh shan, you really have no clue 🤣
oh my god guys, can you imagine lizzie's shock & confusion when gibie's secret is revealed???
ok emotional WHIPLASH sorry guys 🤣
but my god, my heart!! and especially now after seeing how they were as kids and seeing how they both got around mark!!! gibs and her sticking together when mark approached them and this quote:
“i haven’t told anyone else,” i whispered. “not even hugh.”
“me either,” he whispered. “not even Claire.”
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
they dont even know!!!
i can’t even begin to image what is going through lizzie’s head after claire blurts that out and it all comes to light.
and as bad as it sounds i cannot wait to see the aftermath because right now lizzie doesn’t even see herself as a victim because she can’t even comprehend what has happened to her. she didn’t even have the vocabulary to describe it to anyone and she still doesn't know that is was REAL!!!
the aftermath is going to be insane and i cannot wait for everything to come out and for hugh to legit blown shit up for her!! she deserves so much more than she has been given and it sickens me.
and you will NEVER catch me choosing team liz or team gibs. i am team VICTIMS!!! you guys who pick and choose and side with only one do realize that you are doing exactly what mark wants right??? He purposefully sets out to destroy their relationship so they will never talk and expose him…
YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE, LOVE, AND SUPPORT THEM BOTH!!!
I don't know how people are able to only want to support one. i really don't
i think that is all… for now? im sure i will think of stuff and end up adding on later lmao. i could literally talk about lizzie, this book, and just in general the boys of tommen world for HOURS on end. i could write a world renowned essay on lizzie alone 😭
if you made it this far, you’re a real one 😆🫶
✨✨✨✨if you are here for the snippets... here you go!! ✨✨✨✨
pov: liz
"Everyone back on the bus!" Coach Mulcahy roared, causing Hugh to push my hand away.
“Due to the unfortunate incident with Kavanagh back there, we're going to be staying over in Dublin tonight. The school has managed to book us into a hotel at last minute, but it's going to be a tight squeeze, lads."
pov: hughie
My heart cracked in my chest but I forced myself to keep smiling. "You trust me, don't you, Liz? I would never do anything to hurt you." I gently traced her bottom lip with my thumb until she parted her lips.
"That's it." The pain I felt when I placed both pills on her tongue was worse than anything I'd felt before. "Good girl."
"Here," Feely said before thrusting the mouthwash glass...
pov: hughie
"I'll see you tonight, Hugh," Liz called out, taking aim at my girlfriend with a much sharper blade.
"You remember which bedroom is mine, right?" Katie stopped dead in her tracks, letting Liz know she had hit the target.
"What the hell, Hugh?"
pov: hughie
"Don't hate me," Liz squeezed out, the words barely more than a broken whisper.
"Please God, Hugh, please don't ever look at me the way everyone else does."
pov: liz
"You woke up in my house because that's where you told your mother you were staying," Hugh snapped. "You're in my bed because you point blank refused to let me bring you back to my sister's room - where you were supposed to be sleeping." Shoving his chair back, he stood up and paced his bedroom floor like a madman. "And you're naked because when you climbed into my bed, you took your clothes off."
pov: hughie
"You know how I feel about her, Kate."
"I know she's bad for you," she pushed back. "I know how badly she destroyed you the last time you gave her a chance to." She squeezed my hand. "Don't let her hurt you twice, Hugh."
"It's not that simple."
"It can be," she pushed. "You can have a simple life if you just walk away." She held up her pinky finger. Uncertain, I hooked my finger around hers.
pov: hughie
"Hugh, wait "
"You should be scared," I cut in, standing against everything and everyone I had ever known. "You should be fucking terrified of the memories trapped inside her head. She can bring this whole town down, asshole. She's not just the key. She's the walking, breathing evidence!"
pov: liz
"You shouldn't be." Taking his big hand in mine, I pressed a kiss to his palm.
"Don't trust me, Hugh." I forced myself to warn, even though it almost killed me to say it. "Don't forgive me, either." I kissed his hand again. "Because I don't know how long I'll be me." His hand on my cheek moved to cup the back of my head in silent protest. "She can love you the right way."
pov: hughie
“Relax", she whispered, stepping closer until our bodies were flush together. “I’m yours."
She had no idea how badly I needed to hear that right now. Her hands came around to cup my face, causing my body to ignite in an almost pained sensation. It was too much. She was too fucking much for me.
"I love you," she whispered, blue eyes snaring me one blink at a time. "So much."
pov: liz
"Look at me, Liz." Gripping my face in his hands, Hugh drew me back to him. "You are not crazy." I could feel his thumbs brush my cheekbones. I shivered violently, clinging to the certainty in his voice. "You are going to be okay." Pulling me closer, he rested his brow to mine. "I'm not going to let him send you away again."
pov: liz
"You're going to come down from this, Liz" His brown eyes were so hypnotizing, l felt like I was falling into them. "You're not broken. You're not bad. You're sick."
"I'm not sick."
"You are so fucking sick, baby, and I am terrified for you."
"Don't be." I laughed.
pov: hughie
"Take me," she commanded against my lips, blue eyes locked on mine. "Have me."
"I am," I snarled, angrily kissing, teeth clashing, as we moved on primal instinct.
"Are you happy now?"
"Yes." Fisting my hair roughly, she yanked my head back and then shoved at my chest, pushing me onto my back. "Because you're mine."
Reaching for my hands, she pinned them above me.
pov: hughie
"That's my baby." Shaking, I smoothed her hair off her face. "You keep that heart beating, ya hear?"
Trembling violently, she looked up at me and nodded.
"I love you, Hugh Biggs." I opened my mouth to respond only to hear it crack when I whispered the words,
"I know you do." Sniffling, I pulled her in close and pressed a kiss to her cracked "I love you more, Lizzie Young."
pov: liz
"I didn't hear you pleading my case to Hugh last year, Patrick" I shot back. "In fact, I remember you encouraging him to leave me."
"Because you are fucking toxic to him, Liz, and she's not," Patrick heaved. "You broke him, and he's still trying to pick up the pieces!"
"Yeah, because I'm the only girl whose mistakes are unforgivable," I cried, hating the tears that trickled down my cheeks. "Fuck."
pov: liz
"Why Hugh?"
"Why what, Liz?"
"Why keep saving me?" He was quiet for so long that I honestly didn't think he was going to answer, but then his lips parted, and with a pained breath, the words, “because I'm in love with you," escaped like a tortured prayer.
pov: liz
“I wont let that happen to you," Hugh vowed, hand gripping my damp cheeks. “Over my dead body.
Clenching my eyes shut, I allowed myself to lean into his strength just one more time. "It's okay." Sniffling, I turned my face and pressed a kiss to the palm of his hand. "You can't save me this time, Hugh."
He pulled me flush against him and kissed my brow before hissing, "Watch me.”
pov: liz
Hugh tugged a rogue strand of hair behind my ear and exhaled a heavy sigh as he studied my face. "These eyes haunt me." His thumb brushed the curve of my cheekbone. "And this hair." He tugged on my braid. "And this." He reached up and cupped my face in his hands. "This crazy mind." He shook his head before brushing his lips against my left temple, and then my right. "This beautiful mind.”
pov: hughie
"You're throwing away everything for that girl, Biggie," he warned. "You sure she's worth it?"
Unwilling to back down or look away, I straightened my shoulders and met his glare head on.
"If the tables were turned, and I asked you that same question about Shannon, you'd say yes, wouldn't ya?"
Johnny's nostrils flared. "Absolutely."
I nodded stiffly. "Then you have your answer."
pov: liz
"Liz." His chest heaved and his eyes flooded with emotion. I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything." Sucking in a steadying breath, I looked up at him and smiled. "You don't need to save me this time, Hugh.”
pov: liz
"You can hate me all you want," I hissed back at him, while pulling at the waistband of his sweats to free him. "But do it while you're fucking me again."
"I'm not fucking you again, Liz," he seethed, leaning so close to my face that his lips brushed against mine when he spoke. The move caused us both to groan in unison. Releasing a growl, I tilted my chin upwards and traced my tongue over his.
pov: liz
"You don't have to do this, Hugh," I whispered, voice cracking, as I hooked my arms around my knees.
"Hey." Tipping my chin up with his fingers, he slowly shook his head and then brushed a bubble off my cheek before clearing his throat and refocusing on his task. "So, I had the weirdest class today." Rambling on about pointless school gossip, he took the time to shampoo and condition my hair.
pov: hughie
"Oh my God," Katie croaked out, coming to stand behind me, phone in hand. "I think we should call the Gards."
"Don't," I warned, snatching the phone out of her hands and ending the call before it connected. "She's not a fucking criminal, Katie!" Hurt filled my girlfriend's eyes.
"Well, she's not sane either, Hugh."
pov: liz
"Can we listen to something else?" Claire asked, not so discretely sliding the latest McFly album towards me. "Something a little more 2004."
"Sacrilege," I shot back, feigning a gasp. "Stevie stays."
"Omigod, I can't get away from this song," Claire whined, flopping onto her back and draping a pillow over her face. "Hugh plays it constantly."
My ears perked up. "He does?"
"On a bloody loop!"
pov: liz
With his school shirt hanging open, revealing those beautiful well-carved abdominal muscles and that dark dusting of hair beneath his navel, my ex-boyfriend looked inhumanely beautiful. Jesus. Holding my breath, I continued to stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, as we stood side by side, brushing our teeth is tense silence.
pov: liz
After finishing with my hair, Hugh offered me the razor. Numb, I took it from his hand and tried to pretend that I didn't notice the way he was lingering super close to me, ready to lunge at any moment and unarm me if I misused it in anyway. I didn't. Instead, I did what I had to do, using the blade for its intended purpose, before handing it back to him.
"It won't be forever, Liz."
pov: hugh
"Maybe you're just better off without me," she whispered, arms hooked around her boney knees.
"My head's all kinds of fucked up, Hugh."
"Maybe," I agreed, leaning against the rock at my back. "But we both know I'm not going anywhere."
"God, I needed to hear you say that." A lone tear trickled down her cheek, and I watched her use her knee to swipe it away. "You'll never know how much."
pov: liz
"No matter what?"
A deep shiver racked through his big body, and then I felt him nod against my neck, lips brushing my skin as he whispered, "Yeah, Liz." His arms tightened around me, enveloping my body in his protective embrace. "No matter what."
pov: hugh
"Did anyone think about actually listening to her?" Lynchy asked. "Maybe she's been trying to tell you something all along." He shrugged. "Maybe you're not listening." He exhaled a cloud of smoke before adding, "Or maybe you've been asking the wrong questions."
pov: hugh
"Is that how it is for you, Hughie?" she asked. "When she looks at you? Do you feel guilty?"
"I fell in love with her when I was seven years old," I admitted quietly. "And I've been in love with her every day since. Even when she broke my heart, and even though she continues to break it." I blew out a pained breath. "So yeah, Katie, I feel a lot of things."
"But you won't go back?"
"No."
pov: hugh
"Listen, don't do anything reckless, okay?"
"I know, Hugh"
"I mean it, ba - Liz."
"You should go." She gestured to where Katie was standing off to the side of the carpark. "Your girlfriend looks pissed."
pov: hugh
"Stress triggers her mania," I explained. "She spends her life balancing on a tightrope. and when something happens, it knocks her on her ass. She'll get back up. She always does, but the carnage is horrific. But she'll get up again. She's the strongest person I've ever met."
"How can you be here for her when she's put you through hell?"
I glared at Feely. "Because she's still my Liz."
pov: liz
Sighing heavily, Hugh reached an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace offering me the only form of comfort I had ever been able to receive without wanting to peel the skin from my bones. This boy was the only boy whose touch didn't make my skin crawl. His hands
pov: liz
"Liz, come on, baby, you have to get out." Panicked, he reached into the driver's seat and unfastened my seat belt before physically lifting me out.
"I've got you, Liz." His voice in my ear was the only part of reality I could find in this moment. Just this voice. Just this boy. "No matter what."
I am at goodreads character limit 💀 so I'll put any more snippets I have/find in comments!
June 6, 2025
➳ this book stomped on my heart, killed me, and then spit me out ☆
no one will ever make me hate this book, these characters, or this series. NO ONE. i was extremely scared to pick this book up after seeing all the hate that everyone was giving this. however, as always, i am glad i was able to read it and form my own opinion. as per usual, a huge shout out to my baby, vee. i want to read everything with you.
★ ── lizzie young
my misunderstood girlie. i love her so much. i've always loved her so much. that is my biggest flex. i hate that i can relate to lizzie, but i think that's what makes her character so special. beyond the "bully persona", she has so much more to her demeanor, personality, and growth. everything that lizzie endured throughout the entire series, is a direct biproduct of everyone, and i mean everyone failing her. i appreciate how personal lizzie's story felt, since chloe herself went through these experiences. i relate to these books for SO many reasons and i can see too much of myself in lizzie. i can't wait for her healing and growth.
★ ── hugh biggs
TOP BOOK BOYFRIEND. i don't care if anyone agrees. this man is A man. i finally found an author who writes medical students with grit, maturity, and emotional intelligence. i am getting tired of them being portrayed like puerile jejune losers with no braincells. hugh is such a hopeless romantic with an incredible sense of awareness. he is the most stable character in this series, argue with a wall. hugh is despondent after the effects of everything that happened, but he never took it out on anyone. in fact, he was the only person who believed lizzie from the beginning. do i care that he cheats? fuck no. i stan hugh andrew biggs in this house.
★ ── the romance
god save me. these two will be the death of me. google SOULMATES in the dictionary, it's them. their minute and mundane interactions made up this book. time and time again—their childhood to now, as older teens—we see how much they both mean to each other. there is so much keeping them apart, yet they will find their way back to each other. he was by far the best boyfriend in this series. joey is still my favorite, though.
★ ── found family
well...the side characters REALLY tested me in this one. claire is childish and annoying as fuck. i was really happy that hugh called her out for being a shit friend several times throughout this book. she had no braincells or any functioning thoughts in her head. johnny is also mid as fuck. his bullshit was really blaring in this book. i don't hate him, but his over-the-top, i am better than everyone was so awkward and icky to read about. him being a selfish, bad friend is not a personality.
I AM CRASHING OUT. I NEED CLAIMING 10. NOW.
no one will ever make me hate this book, these characters, or this series. NO ONE. i was extremely scared to pick this book up after seeing all the hate that everyone was giving this. however, as always, i am glad i was able to read it and form my own opinion. as per usual, a huge shout out to my baby, vee. i want to read everything with you.
★ ── lizzie young
my misunderstood girlie. i love her so much. i've always loved her so much. that is my biggest flex. i hate that i can relate to lizzie, but i think that's what makes her character so special. beyond the "bully persona", she has so much more to her demeanor, personality, and growth. everything that lizzie endured throughout the entire series, is a direct biproduct of everyone, and i mean everyone failing her. i appreciate how personal lizzie's story felt, since chloe herself went through these experiences. i relate to these books for SO many reasons and i can see too much of myself in lizzie. i can't wait for her healing and growth.
★ ── hugh biggs
TOP BOOK BOYFRIEND. i don't care if anyone agrees. this man is A man. i finally found an author who writes medical students with grit, maturity, and emotional intelligence. i am getting tired of them being portrayed like puerile jejune losers with no braincells. hugh is such a hopeless romantic with an incredible sense of awareness. he is the most stable character in this series, argue with a wall. hugh is despondent after the effects of everything that happened, but he never took it out on anyone. in fact, he was the only person who believed lizzie from the beginning. do i care that he cheats? fuck no. i stan hugh andrew biggs in this house.
★ ── the romance
god save me. these two will be the death of me. google SOULMATES in the dictionary, it's them. their minute and mundane interactions made up this book. time and time again—their childhood to now, as older teens—we see how much they both mean to each other. there is so much keeping them apart, yet they will find their way back to each other. he was by far the best boyfriend in this series. joey is still my favorite, though.
★ ── found family
well...the side characters REALLY tested me in this one. claire is childish and annoying as fuck. i was really happy that hugh called her out for being a shit friend several times throughout this book. she had no braincells or any functioning thoughts in her head. johnny is also mid as fuck. his bullshit was really blaring in this book. i don't hate him, but his over-the-top, i am better than everyone was so awkward and icky to read about. him being a selfish, bad friend is not a personality.
I AM CRASHING OUT. I NEED CLAIMING 10. NOW.
March 26, 2025
I can already tell this book is gonna pmo.
ANYWAYS
#KATIEFEELY4EVAAAA
ANYWAYS
#KATIEFEELY4EVAAAA
Want to read
June 2, 2025I had a long review written giving my honest opinion about this book but decided not to post it because I just know people are not going to understand my point lol.
What I will say is that the fandom of this series has to be the most annoying and toxic fandom ever. omg, y’all are worse than kpop fans and that’s a strong statement.
What I will say is that the fandom of this series has to be the most annoying and toxic fandom ever. omg, y’all are worse than kpop fans and that’s a strong statement.
June 4, 2025
Yeah, so, I’m devastated what the heck
May 24, 2025
so fucking shit this book was literally just porn and rushed plotlines that made no sense
April 10, 2025
Why are we giving attention to a horribly bully and a cheater? I wish Chloe would just scrap the book and give us the Claire and Gibsie book we deserve
June 12, 2025
Currently sobbing to “I love you, I’m sorry” by Gracie Abrams 🫠🫠🫠
This book?? Literally ended me. FINISHED me. RUINED my life. I am a shell of a person now. 😭🫠
‼️‼️‼️ OKAY LOVIES — PLEASE check the TWs before reading and get ready to cry like your life depends on it ‼️‼️‼️
No matter what 🫠
No matter what 🫠🫠
No matter what 🫠🫠🫠
The ending?? I was left as a BROKEN, EMOTIONAL WRECK. 😭 I’m not okay. I need the next book RIGHT NOW or I will combust. My babies… 🫠🤧😭😥 They deserve nothing but love. And if anyone tries to hate on Lizzie??? No. Absolutely not. She’s MY GIRL. MY BABY. 😤
This book is a non-stop spiral of SADNESS. A ROLLERCOASTER OF ONLY SAD EMOTIONS. 😭 And when I found out why Liz acted the way she did with Gibs… and the truth behind the nickname “Thor”? Yeah. That broke me into 75 pieces. I am unwell 😭
I honestly don’t know how I survived this… Oh wait— I do know. Small breaks and Laura Bestieeee 🥹
Also. Mark?? I hate him. I loathe him. I DESPISE him. He is the worst man alive and I want him GONE. Every time he popped up, my soul left my body 😭 Literal garbage human. The rage is REAL 🥰🔥
I got a little serotonin when Joey and Johnny showed up but then like… BAM 💥 right back to the emotional chaos 🫠🫠😭
I just want to give all my babies a big, tight hug 🥹🫠😭 They’re SO strong it hurts 😭
Lizzie and Hughie 🥹😭🫠 I miss them already… Reading what they were going through? Pure pain. Especially Liz. She did NOT deserve that 😭🫠
Anyway yeah, that’s all I got. I’m emotionally bankrupt 🫠😭
LOVE Y’ALL. BIG HUGS. STAY STRONG. 💋🌷🫂
———————————————
Pre-Read
Let the crying begin… 😭💜💜
I’M READY!!! (with tissues ofc🤧)
This book?? Literally ended me. FINISHED me. RUINED my life. I am a shell of a person now. 😭🫠
‼️‼️‼️ OKAY LOVIES — PLEASE check the TWs before reading and get ready to cry like your life depends on it ‼️‼️‼️
No matter what 🫠
No matter what 🫠🫠
No matter what 🫠🫠🫠
The ending?? I was left as a BROKEN, EMOTIONAL WRECK. 😭 I’m not okay. I need the next book RIGHT NOW or I will combust. My babies… 🫠🤧😭😥 They deserve nothing but love. And if anyone tries to hate on Lizzie??? No. Absolutely not. She’s MY GIRL. MY BABY. 😤
This book is a non-stop spiral of SADNESS. A ROLLERCOASTER OF ONLY SAD EMOTIONS. 😭 And when I found out why Liz acted the way she did with Gibs… and the truth behind the nickname “Thor”? Yeah. That broke me into 75 pieces. I am unwell 😭
I honestly don’t know how I survived this… Oh wait— I do know. Small breaks and Laura Bestieeee 🥹
Also. Mark?? I hate him. I loathe him. I DESPISE him. He is the worst man alive and I want him GONE. Every time he popped up, my soul left my body 😭 Literal garbage human. The rage is REAL 🥰🔥
I got a little serotonin when Joey and Johnny showed up but then like… BAM 💥 right back to the emotional chaos 🫠🫠😭
I just want to give all my babies a big, tight hug 🥹🫠😭 They’re SO strong it hurts 😭
Lizzie and Hughie 🥹😭🫠 I miss them already… Reading what they were going through? Pure pain. Especially Liz. She did NOT deserve that 😭🫠
Anyway yeah, that’s all I got. I’m emotionally bankrupt 🫠😭
LOVE Y’ALL. BIG HUGS. STAY STRONG. 💋🌷🫂
———————————————
Pre-Read
Let the crying begin… 😭💜💜
I’M READY!!! (with tissues ofc🤧)
November 1, 2025
this crushed my heart like a soda can💔…rtc.
~i can’t stop listening to “undressed” by sombr & imagining it from hughie’s pov😭😭😭😭😭
𓂃𓏲𓈒๋࣭ 𓏲 ⋆˖ ࣭ ☘︎ ࿐࿔ ๋࣭ ☘︎ 𓈒 Review ๋࣭ 𓏲 ⋆˖ ࣭ ☘︎ ࿐࿔ ๋࣭ ☘︎ 𓈒𓏲𓂃
R10 cut deep in ways i didn’t expect it to and has been HAUNTING ME ever since i finished it. chloe walsh how many times can you break my heart? truly??
In light of the stuff circulating online, I rlly want to thank her for writing this and for baring some of herself to write this book. Chloe, I’m so sorry for the ignorant comments that have been thrown your way to make you feel that this book is anything but a gift. Your vulnerability bleeds through every page and it matters. Thank you for trusting us enough to publish this and i am so sorry if others have made you doubt your bravery in sharing this with us.
my mind hasn’t always been the safest place for me and it’s why i felt kindred with Lizzie in a way that was a bit unsettling. I didn’t expect it. this book masterfully switched my perception of Lizzie from a bully who victimizes to someone who’s been irrevocably victimized and abused. I know how it is to see all she’s done (manic or not), and declare her a villain, it was easy for me in previous books. BUT first and foremost she’s someone who’s been failed by every person in her life, and bc of it, she managed to hurt the only person who’s truly been there for her in every way humanly possible. i don’t know how someone can read this book and despise her. i can’t, and i won’t fault only liz for her actions because the majority of the blame belongs to the people who neglected and abused her. The pain and shame she carried was maddening…so much so i wanted to escape it and needed to at times. There were moments when I was just tired of drowning in it alongside her. It’s probably the reason why i think this book was the hardest reading experience for me out of the series. The abuse and triggering content propelled endless crashouts and dissociative states that had me staring blankly at my wall. ALSO the use of the song mr. brightside in that one scene completely ruined me!! THE ANGSTTTT GAWD i love that song and it definitely felt like a punch to the gut…pure genius🧚♀️
I never thought i would be utterly devastated for Lizzie after not understanding her behavior in T7. But here i am crying enough to fill, create, and establish another ocean here on earth. consider me fully converted. i am truly rooting for her and gibs now; to heal together like they were supposed to, instead of suffering apart like they have. i can’t even address hugh cause my heart will break even more than it already has. i won’t let my mind go there, i need closure dammmit😖 preferably in the form of their next book🧎🏻♀️
~i can’t stop listening to “undressed” by sombr & imagining it from hughie’s pov😭😭😭😭😭
𓂃𓏲𓈒๋࣭ 𓏲 ⋆˖ ࣭ ☘︎ ࿐࿔ ๋࣭ ☘︎ 𓈒 Review ๋࣭ 𓏲 ⋆˖ ࣭ ☘︎ ࿐࿔ ๋࣭ ☘︎ 𓈒𓏲𓂃
R10 cut deep in ways i didn’t expect it to and has been HAUNTING ME ever since i finished it. chloe walsh how many times can you break my heart? truly??
In light of the stuff circulating online, I rlly want to thank her for writing this and for baring some of herself to write this book. Chloe, I’m so sorry for the ignorant comments that have been thrown your way to make you feel that this book is anything but a gift. Your vulnerability bleeds through every page and it matters. Thank you for trusting us enough to publish this and i am so sorry if others have made you doubt your bravery in sharing this with us.
my mind hasn’t always been the safest place for me and it’s why i felt kindred with Lizzie in a way that was a bit unsettling. I didn’t expect it. this book masterfully switched my perception of Lizzie from a bully who victimizes to someone who’s been irrevocably victimized and abused. I know how it is to see all she’s done (manic or not), and declare her a villain, it was easy for me in previous books. BUT first and foremost she’s someone who’s been failed by every person in her life, and bc of it, she managed to hurt the only person who’s truly been there for her in every way humanly possible. i don’t know how someone can read this book and despise her. i can’t, and i won’t fault only liz for her actions because the majority of the blame belongs to the people who neglected and abused her. The pain and shame she carried was maddening…so much so i wanted to escape it and needed to at times. There were moments when I was just tired of drowning in it alongside her. It’s probably the reason why i think this book was the hardest reading experience for me out of the series. The abuse and triggering content propelled endless crashouts and dissociative states that had me staring blankly at my wall. ALSO the use of the song mr. brightside in that one scene completely ruined me!! THE ANGSTTTT GAWD i love that song and it definitely felt like a punch to the gut…pure genius🧚♀️
I never thought i would be utterly devastated for Lizzie after not understanding her behavior in T7. But here i am crying enough to fill, create, and establish another ocean here on earth. consider me fully converted. i am truly rooting for her and gibs now; to heal together like they were supposed to, instead of suffering apart like they have. i can’t even address hugh cause my heart will break even more than it already has. i won’t let my mind go there, i need closure dammmit😖 preferably in the form of their next book🧎🏻♀️
May 15, 2025
i already knew cw was going to throw a dozen trauma at Lizzie to try and make her likeable but I'm fortunately not that gullible and won't be reading this nonsense, wishing some therapy on the author
June 3, 2025
“I DON’T READ BOOKS TO BE HAPPY. I READ BOOKS TO BE EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATED “
5 MILLION STARS ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵
“All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
‘Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die as a happy man I'm sure
When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side
But if you loved me
Why did you leave me
Take my body
Take my body”
🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎼🎶🎶🎵🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
“As long as I have air in my lungs I will never let you go under “
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
“No matter what? No matter what !”
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I thought long and hard on how to write this and not sound insensitive towards people that can’t handle this kind of content. The more I thought the least I think I should mend my words because I am a firm believer that things should be out in the open, I DO believe we should have all information, knowledge and education available so we can have some tools to deal with tragedies:/trauma in life. That’s how I was raised and that’s how I tried to raise my daughter. And even when you do have all of that it still sometimes not enough. trauma and tragedies, situations in life will affect people in different ways and we will not all be having the same response to it, that’s because of past experiences, mental health, lack of compassion, miscommunication or sometimes just because we are not prepared for. I was cursed and blessed to have lived a very hard life, my childhood and teenage years was literally hell and not at the same time because my mother managed to give us some semblance of normalcy and she was such a STRONG woman that I credit all the good to her. But I did have a very similar experience as Joey and the Lynch kids and that is why I ADORE and relate to Joey so much, I didn’t have any addiction but was living with a violent addict and alcoholic, we grew up in a house with domestic abuse and very poor and it was BRUTAL! So all that to say that I related more to Joey’s books than Lizzie but Releasing 10 came close.
This book to me was a MASTERPIECE! I get that not everyone is prepared for the amount of trauma this book brings but I feel like this is something that needs to be said and it should be brought to light, been in a news world or in a fictional world, if you get the information and dig deeper maybe you’ll be able to see signs and try to help a child. I CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT THIS HAPPENS AROUND US ALL THE TIME.
Chloe Wash did a SPECTACULAR JOB showing us that even when you live with someone and even when you think you know everything about this person, sometimes you truly don’t and experiences are so very personal….. in Lizzie’s case people were seen her issues that were many and heavy but no one truly knows everything else she has locked in her mind and all the other things she is hiding from everyone . Not even Hughie knows and it’s devastating to be in her mind 😭 it’s really hard to live life when your mind is literally raging war against you.
I feel like everything about Lizzie’s life was an issue from the beginning, her father is garbage, her sister could’ve be gone years ago that’s how much I hated her and her mother even though was loving and protective, she was literally fighting for her life the entire time, she was so sick that she could barely exist, plus she is completely clueless in how to help Lizzie.
Everyone that had the patience to have read my reviews knows I was a Lizzie hater, I couldn’t get pass the way she treated Gibsy who’s an angel to me, he also has a lot horrible trauma but he deals differently and that’s ok. But me been so protective of Gibsy couldn’t even understand how Chloe was going to make me like and understand Lizzie, and guess what? Literally on chapter 1 of the book I forgave and understood her. I am not going to lie and say she’s easy to love because she’s not. And I think that’s the whole point, Chloe showed all the nuances of HOW FUCKING HARD it is to live, deal and understand a person with such trauma and a mental disorder specially when untreated , loving Lizzie is no easy feat . I don’t want people that have read that and felt like Lizzie was too much to feel bad about feeling this way towards her when she was really sick, I want people to understand that it is ok to feel this way because not everyone is equipped with the strength and mental capacity to deal with this type of pain, SHE IS HARD TO LOVE and that’s why I now love her ! Being her is not easy and she is the one suffering the consequences of her actions before anyone, consciously or not. She needs help, she needs treatment and she needs to truly want that for herself .
Now Hughie, omg Hughie….. the more I think about him the faster he climbs up the ladder of my favorites in this series. This boy was a rock and a safe port for Lizzie the entirety of their childhood/early teens. By the way the only thing I didn’t love was the fact that Hughie was literally 7 years old but he was talking and acting like a 30 years old guy, this is not realistic at all, no matter how mature and what an old soul he is or what a genius he is. He is a child.
Hughie is everything you want in a son, friend, brother, boyfriend or husband. Him and Johnny are the definition of how all man should’ve been!
I love how much he loves and cares for Lizzie and how protective he is, I love how understanding he is (in the old age of 10), I am amazed of how well her understood her Bipolar disorder and how well he was able to see the signs of when she was manic and off her meds, I adore how he never gives up on her “no matter what “ and that is why I was SO ANGRY and hurt by the way they broke up. If I have one complaint about this book this is it, I DESPISED the unnecessary pain, this book is already heavy enough and than you get a character like Hughie who was there for her the entire time and you write her having sex with his teammate, ON HIS BDAY, IN HIS BEDROOM, ON HIS BED !!!!!!!!! WHY ??????? He did NOT deserve that. I get it and understand that Lizzie was half out of her mind and thought if was Hughie, but that doesn’t make it less hurtful and for once in the entirety of this 740 pages book Hughie actually acted his age and his feelings are so valid because we focus so much on Lizzie’s pain that we almost forget HOW MUCH he is also hurting throughout the years, the pain is so big and all consuming that we forget that he is also young and human and can hurt just as much because he HAS to be the strong one, he has no one to fall to it, he is the support system and he is it. So in my opinion they could’ve broken up for a million other different reasons but this was unnecessary and too much. Plus the fact that she keeps going out with the cockroach IN FRONT oh him, like why rub salt in the wound? I was so mad at that situation that I actually WANT Hughie to have Katie for a while , we know he does because loving her or not it will give him a little time to put at least his nose out of water and catch some breathing since he was drowning……. That doesn’t mean I don’t want Lizzie and Hughie together because OMG I DO, I WANT AND I NEED this, we all need. But the poor guy needs a break. Lizzie needs to understand the loss, she knows in her mind and heart but she needs to feel everywhere how much she lost and she needs to than work herself back to him and to herself. This is such a complicated story that Lizzie getting better is the ultimate goal and the romance is just the support for it. Also now after reading this I actually like the way Claire in all her impulsiveness brought the whole Mark situation to life, because Gibsy and Lizzie needed that, they don’t know but they did need. Gibsy would’ve probably take this to his grave and Lizzie would’ve probably keep thinking if was or not real, the fact that Claire did what she did it pushed everyone to action and it SHOCKED the truth to everyone’s face. GO CLAIRE! Also Claire is probably the only character in the entire series that act her age.
About the disgusting disturbed, horrible pedophile, he NEEDS TO DIE and I think Hughie need to be the one killing him. I said what I said…. My daughter said that to me and I was immediately “YES” maybe that’s my dark romance mind thinking the group can be like the Hockey Gods and help each other in a murderer situation 😂😂😂😂 who knows what will happen? Clearly Chloe does but not me. Oh how I wished to be living with her right now to see what she’s writing…….
After all of that I have to say that differently than most people, I actually didn’t cry, this topic is so heavy but I am so used to read those things in my dark romances that it doesn’t affect me the way it affects others. Joey situation I am used to read it too but since I lived, it affects me in a different way, it hits harder for me. Also normally Chloe first books are not the ones that gets me hard, the second ones are the ones that absolutely OBLITERATE MY HEART AND SOUL, CRASHES MY LIFE AND SHATTERS MY MIND. So needless to say that I can’t wait for the second book. Also side note here, but comparing how well she writes and how much she can give in a book like we’ve been seen throughout the entire series, it kinda irks me even more that Gibsy’s book is so mild and bellow the level of the others because his story is amazing and she could’ve done a deeper story as we know. So she clearly wasn’t all in on Gibsy’s story and I hope she fixes that and gives him an INCREDIBLE second book.
Also another silly thing is , I always thought this series should’ve been from the very beginning labeled as Dark Romance, the topics are very heavy and dark, even Biding 13. Those are not silly little romances.
5 MILLION STARS ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
🎶🎼🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵
“All I want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
‘Cause if I could see your face once more
I could die as a happy man I'm sure
When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side
But if you loved me
Why did you leave me
Take my body
Take my body”
🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎼🎶🎶🎵🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎼🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎶🎵🎵🎵
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
“As long as I have air in my lungs I will never let you go under “
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
“No matter what? No matter what !”
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
I thought long and hard on how to write this and not sound insensitive towards people that can’t handle this kind of content. The more I thought the least I think I should mend my words because I am a firm believer that things should be out in the open, I DO believe we should have all information, knowledge and education available so we can have some tools to deal with tragedies:/trauma in life. That’s how I was raised and that’s how I tried to raise my daughter. And even when you do have all of that it still sometimes not enough. trauma and tragedies, situations in life will affect people in different ways and we will not all be having the same response to it, that’s because of past experiences, mental health, lack of compassion, miscommunication or sometimes just because we are not prepared for. I was cursed and blessed to have lived a very hard life, my childhood and teenage years was literally hell and not at the same time because my mother managed to give us some semblance of normalcy and she was such a STRONG woman that I credit all the good to her. But I did have a very similar experience as Joey and the Lynch kids and that is why I ADORE and relate to Joey so much, I didn’t have any addiction but was living with a violent addict and alcoholic, we grew up in a house with domestic abuse and very poor and it was BRUTAL! So all that to say that I related more to Joey’s books than Lizzie but Releasing 10 came close.
This book to me was a MASTERPIECE! I get that not everyone is prepared for the amount of trauma this book brings but I feel like this is something that needs to be said and it should be brought to light, been in a news world or in a fictional world, if you get the information and dig deeper maybe you’ll be able to see signs and try to help a child. I CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT THIS HAPPENS AROUND US ALL THE TIME.
Chloe Wash did a SPECTACULAR JOB showing us that even when you live with someone and even when you think you know everything about this person, sometimes you truly don’t and experiences are so very personal….. in Lizzie’s case people were seen her issues that were many and heavy but no one truly knows everything else she has locked in her mind and all the other things she is hiding from everyone . Not even Hughie knows and it’s devastating to be in her mind 😭 it’s really hard to live life when your mind is literally raging war against you.
I feel like everything about Lizzie’s life was an issue from the beginning, her father is garbage, her sister could’ve be gone years ago that’s how much I hated her and her mother even though was loving and protective, she was literally fighting for her life the entire time, she was so sick that she could barely exist, plus she is completely clueless in how to help Lizzie.
Everyone that had the patience to have read my reviews knows I was a Lizzie hater, I couldn’t get pass the way she treated Gibsy who’s an angel to me, he also has a lot horrible trauma but he deals differently and that’s ok. But me been so protective of Gibsy couldn’t even understand how Chloe was going to make me like and understand Lizzie, and guess what? Literally on chapter 1 of the book I forgave and understood her. I am not going to lie and say she’s easy to love because she’s not. And I think that’s the whole point, Chloe showed all the nuances of HOW FUCKING HARD it is to live, deal and understand a person with such trauma and a mental disorder specially when untreated , loving Lizzie is no easy feat . I don’t want people that have read that and felt like Lizzie was too much to feel bad about feeling this way towards her when she was really sick, I want people to understand that it is ok to feel this way because not everyone is equipped with the strength and mental capacity to deal with this type of pain, SHE IS HARD TO LOVE and that’s why I now love her ! Being her is not easy and she is the one suffering the consequences of her actions before anyone, consciously or not. She needs help, she needs treatment and she needs to truly want that for herself .
Now Hughie, omg Hughie….. the more I think about him the faster he climbs up the ladder of my favorites in this series. This boy was a rock and a safe port for Lizzie the entirety of their childhood/early teens. By the way the only thing I didn’t love was the fact that Hughie was literally 7 years old but he was talking and acting like a 30 years old guy, this is not realistic at all, no matter how mature and what an old soul he is or what a genius he is. He is a child.
Hughie is everything you want in a son, friend, brother, boyfriend or husband. Him and Johnny are the definition of how all man should’ve been!
I love how much he loves and cares for Lizzie and how protective he is, I love how understanding he is (in the old age of 10), I am amazed of how well her understood her Bipolar disorder and how well he was able to see the signs of when she was manic and off her meds, I adore how he never gives up on her “no matter what “ and that is why I was SO ANGRY and hurt by the way they broke up. If I have one complaint about this book this is it, I DESPISED the unnecessary pain, this book is already heavy enough and than you get a character like Hughie who was there for her the entire time and you write her having sex with his teammate, ON HIS BDAY, IN HIS BEDROOM, ON HIS BED !!!!!!!!! WHY ??????? He did NOT deserve that. I get it and understand that Lizzie was half out of her mind and thought if was Hughie, but that doesn’t make it less hurtful and for once in the entirety of this 740 pages book Hughie actually acted his age and his feelings are so valid because we focus so much on Lizzie’s pain that we almost forget HOW MUCH he is also hurting throughout the years, the pain is so big and all consuming that we forget that he is also young and human and can hurt just as much because he HAS to be the strong one, he has no one to fall to it, he is the support system and he is it. So in my opinion they could’ve broken up for a million other different reasons but this was unnecessary and too much. Plus the fact that she keeps going out with the cockroach IN FRONT oh him, like why rub salt in the wound? I was so mad at that situation that I actually WANT Hughie to have Katie for a while , we know he does because loving her or not it will give him a little time to put at least his nose out of water and catch some breathing since he was drowning……. That doesn’t mean I don’t want Lizzie and Hughie together because OMG I DO, I WANT AND I NEED this, we all need. But the poor guy needs a break. Lizzie needs to understand the loss, she knows in her mind and heart but she needs to feel everywhere how much she lost and she needs to than work herself back to him and to herself. This is such a complicated story that Lizzie getting better is the ultimate goal and the romance is just the support for it. Also now after reading this I actually like the way Claire in all her impulsiveness brought the whole Mark situation to life, because Gibsy and Lizzie needed that, they don’t know but they did need. Gibsy would’ve probably take this to his grave and Lizzie would’ve probably keep thinking if was or not real, the fact that Claire did what she did it pushed everyone to action and it SHOCKED the truth to everyone’s face. GO CLAIRE! Also Claire is probably the only character in the entire series that act her age.
About the disgusting disturbed, horrible pedophile, he NEEDS TO DIE and I think Hughie need to be the one killing him. I said what I said…. My daughter said that to me and I was immediately “YES” maybe that’s my dark romance mind thinking the group can be like the Hockey Gods and help each other in a murderer situation 😂😂😂😂 who knows what will happen? Clearly Chloe does but not me. Oh how I wished to be living with her right now to see what she’s writing…….
After all of that I have to say that differently than most people, I actually didn’t cry, this topic is so heavy but I am so used to read those things in my dark romances that it doesn’t affect me the way it affects others. Joey situation I am used to read it too but since I lived, it affects me in a different way, it hits harder for me. Also normally Chloe first books are not the ones that gets me hard, the second ones are the ones that absolutely OBLITERATE MY HEART AND SOUL, CRASHES MY LIFE AND SHATTERS MY MIND. So needless to say that I can’t wait for the second book. Also side note here, but comparing how well she writes and how much she can give in a book like we’ve been seen throughout the entire series, it kinda irks me even more that Gibsy’s book is so mild and bellow the level of the others because his story is amazing and she could’ve done a deeper story as we know. So she clearly wasn’t all in on Gibsy’s story and I hope she fixes that and gives him an INCREDIBLE second book.
Also another silly thing is , I always thought this series should’ve been from the very beginning labeled as Dark Romance, the topics are very heavy and dark, even Biding 13. Those are not silly little romances.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 26, 2025
i would have preferred to be crushed by a giant billboard in paris.
⤿ full rtc if one day my mind overcomes the trauma.
⤿ full rtc if one day my mind overcomes the trauma.
June 3, 2025
sobbed so hard i couldn’t breathe.
rtc in the future when i can think properly
rtc in the future when i can think properly
December 11, 2025
“𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶”
╰┈➤"𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕?"
"𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒍𝒊𝒛. 𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕."
∞ stars
ˏˋ*⁀➷𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
ღ childhood best friends to lovers to strangers
ღ second chance
ღ best friend's brother
*check TWs! this is not a romance it's a realistic book about trauma!* & it is NOT YA, goodreads needs to change this major publishing mistake. this is 18+.
🌼🏹🪽🦌 exile by taylor swift but it's 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙭 𝙜𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙮 being screamed at each other.
well... i even don't know what to say other than im not okay!. i think i genuinely experienced heartbreak for the first time and it was over not only a relationship that i'm not even in, but a fake relationship. i've never felt that over a book before so that's immediately infinity stars and best book in the series hands down. i've cried only over a few books, but i literally hyperventilated to the point where i couldn't breathe over this one.
i've always been a lizziehughie defender and have went to war for lizzie young. i always knew there was going to be a valid reason for how she acts despite her not needing one to gain my heart, but the fact that so many failed to see that is unnerving. i cannot express my love for them, i think they have a special place in my heart beyond any other couple, and they've been my favourite before we even had their book - as side characters they already suck me in, so something about them just pulled at my soul from the beginning. i got so much hate for ranking them so high but now it's so normal that it feels weird. i've also never experienced the wait for an anticipated release before like this book, i was spending every day looking at chloe's spotify and watching and making edits of them. and the fact that it's over just like that is painful i need their next book asap.
that ending... i don't think i'll ever get over it. it hurt to see them grow less and less innocent as they grew up because of what they were put through.
the hate on this book concerns me because chloe wrote this based on her own life and to say it's unrealistic is incredibly insensitive and disrespectful to survivors. the trigger warnings are there. and while more bad things happen in this book, all previous books have also been graphic.
light spoilers
↣ 𝓵𝓲𝔃𝔃𝓲𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨
"𝘪 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯"
the fact that as the book goes on chapters begin with another person she's close with saying "what's wrong with her?" until everyone she cares about has turned against her apart from hugh.
everybody failed this girl. since she was a baby she's been called crazy. she's been treated like she's incapable and below everyone for her disorder when she's a top A student, my smart girl. the list of what that girl has been through since she was a baby is horrific yet she's been called an unforgivable abuser... this fandom is hell and it disgusts me that a child is so villainised for simply not coping like the perfect victim. really shows how fake mental health awareness is. in fact she deserved to be way meaner i don't think anything she did was even bad at all. she could've burnt that place to dust and i'd root for her. it makes me so mad that they never gave her even a slightest chance. i absolutely adored her passion for writing, because that's literally me, and hugh saying she's going to write a book one day<3
'give me back my girlhood it was mine first'
the choice she made at the end. oh my brave girl. i had a feeling she was going to do that. and the fact that we know it gets worse again, that it didn't work.. "𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺" also her sleeping on her sister's grave broke me. she went through hell. and everyone including her friends and family let her down.
the fact that she was such a diva when we got the real her, so like aoife. obsessed with her.
i really personally hope she finds her faith by the end with his help:(
oh liz u will forever haunt the narrative #lenoredove core (hugh is her haymitch)
↣ 𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓲𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓰𝓰𝓼
𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘴
"𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶"
i have no words to describe him other than prince. best boy in the series before and definitely after reading this book, proud to say i claimed this man before the majority. he is everything i want in a man and i am so glad lizzie has a knight like him. i've never seen a better boyfriend ever.
"𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶"
and the fact that he's a nerd is the cherry on top. the fact that he went to the library to research about her disorder because no one would tell him anything... because he wanted to help liz as much as possible. he learned how to give her meds at 12. he could've had a proper childhood, but he spent it protecting lizzie, and i know some are complaining about that, but his character is an old soul, he was never the childish type and there are children like that believe it or not. the way he wants to be a heart surgeon because of what happened to gibsie's family and he never wants to just stand there again. the way he was just such a good friend to everyone, he prayed for catherine to get better my catholic boy, he protected gibsie with his life and stayed with liz through every depressive episode. no other child would've done that he's always been a carer, him and joey are so alike, joey would've been hugh if he had a stable life. and to the people saying hugh had no personality, just can't grasp real love and loyalty. you're telling me you don't like a smart nerd who puts his girl first? i can't believe ppl say hes a bad person. at least hes the only guy whose not a player. the way after what she did he kept protecting her and kept crawling back to her, him not joining in the inappropriate girl talk with the boys bc he's just texting liz all lunch time - so miss americana and the heartbreak prince coded but he breaks other girls hearts not his girl. all he cares abt at school is studying and liz..
his feeling on his relationship with his dad also killed me, the way he and liz both have daddy issues and were a reflection of his parents.
he’s also so aoife as a boy his trauma as a carer for his partner so young is overlooked:(
i also love how awkward he was with liz until he just gave in. actual golden retriever.
↣ 𝓵𝓲𝔃𝔃𝓲𝓮+𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓲𝓮
"𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺, 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺."
he was the only one who saw lizzie past her disorder and stood by her side through everything. their love was so pure despite everything they went through.
"𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦."
him not being interested in any girls until he sees lizzie and takes off his headphones to talk. him riding all the way to her house to make sure she's okay, him ditching rugby for her, him memorising her and her house number since they met, her always making him blush and being the bold one the little rebel and her shy nerd, her pure little soul bringing the invite to his party and matching his costume, them both being readers and reading while laying on each others laps, him planning out their future since he was a kid, the fairy cave<33, the H+L carvings and him saying they'll show their kids, "𝘭𝘪𝘻 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢" ,the og morticia and gomez, the anklet bracelet... with the infinity charm, the book charm, the life buyo ('as long as im here i'll never let you go under' - rip to that after that ending), the semi colon.. she's never gonna take it off, i just adore the fact that their friendship was so well established first... 300 pages until it got romantic. the most character depth. "𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰"
"𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦."
"𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨."
they're so joeyaoife tethered but roles reversed, the way he calls her baby so much i think hugh owns that nickname idc, he's called her that since he was 12!!!
"𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺"
"𝘪'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩" "𝘯𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺"
𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔
everyone but hugh was a bad friend to liz bc only he believes and listens to her. especially claire.
also while i dont hate katie or claire, they wronged liz first so her retaliating is expected and deserved. katie called her a heroin chic first which means to call someone overly skinny, but when liz said the sticks and stones comment she’s evil? claire also called lizzie’s sisters SA a rumor and stopped visiting liz after she died bc it’s too depressing..
“lizzie is mean” notice how it’s only to the “friends” who have shut her truth out and don’t understand her saying that:)!
im also sick of ppl calling hugh a bad friend to gibs & calling it misogynistic to hate on claire for putting gibs above liz when hugh does the same, but hugh didn’t call his best friend’s sister’s SA a rumour, and hugh didn’t stop visiting after his sister died bc it was too depressing. it was never about her choosing gibsie, it’s about how she treated lizzie, which hugh never did to gibs. he always believed him & stood by him. he also didn’t actually drop gibsie as a friend over lizzie, despite knowing liz refused to be near him. he said he’d never leave gibsie bc of her. meanwhile claire left lizzie just like that bc of her intolerance of gibsie, which she never tired understand the reasoning behind.
liz x joey = same person
they mean everything to me. my two fave characters. literally long lost twins.
but can i just mention the fact that liz and joey do the exact same thing they both attack their sister’s abuser’s brother yet only she is hated.. (joey literally choked and hospitalised his with no regret too yet liz telling hers to die & shoving him but immediately regretting it bc she didn't know about his trauma is somehow worse!) it's also a false narrative that she bullied gibs for years, she ignored him until their friends became friends, then she only ever said max 3 truly mean things, the rest was back & forth arguments between them both. it's taken so out of proportion. (i don't like the boys' logic of beating innocents bc they can't beat a girl, but it was normal back then.)
liz x caoimhe
sisters who haunt the narrative3
i will forever defend caoimhe idc. people need to realise they are all children. she was a victim by mark and her dad & left to be the glass child. her dad manipulated her to think kids make bad things up, and to treat her sister the way that she did & mark manipulated her romantically and literally sexually scarred her - forcing her to get an abortion, etc. you don't have to love a character or excuse their behaviour, but you can understand & not villainise them. once she actually knew what mark was doing she fought for gibs and liz til her last breath - that is redemption. she was never a villain, mark is. focus on him not the kids pls!
𝐻+𝐿 "𝓉𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇"
the ending.. i didn't expect them to break up that way. i still can't stop thinking about it without feeling sick. what do you mean "no matter what" was for nothing?
i need a book after the next one of lizhugh being happy, marrying at 18, going to college and being a writer and doctor, having kids and showing them the initials they carved like they said they would. update sep: cw said she’s writing more in college years so hopefully!
NOTE about the handle of SA in the series:
'how can she SA hugh after going through the same thing' is an immature take. & using SA as an argument to defend your faves is immature.
yes lizzie technically SA'd hugh & technically hugh did to her too (as she was manic & he clearly didn't understand the scope of it.) (just like aoife did to joey when he was high/after she was nearly SA'd by teddy and claire did to gibsie when they were in bed/after she found out about his SA), (every fmc did but shannon). it was SA because he was harmed by her either way and he sad no either way. but circumstances matter, especially in lizzie's case. bc she is a child. it is a time period where sex ed was poor. she is manic & hypersexual. & most importantly she was manipulated her whole life to think sex is medicine, and does not know what consent really is, let alone sex.
i can't stress enough that this isn't a romance book. this is a book about trauma, and it's so disappointing the publishers ever labelled it as YA.
this is realistic. it's a real affect of child SA. children's brains aren't developed, so bad things can be normalised for them if they're taught it's good. you can't always hold bad things children do to the same standard as adults. what's important is they don't become this way as adults.
& both hugh and liz are still victims in this case. two things can exist at once. she didn't mean harm or bad intent like other characters who SA, such as pierce.
and ppl who have strong hatred for any of the core 10 when they're all children going through stuff you couldn't imagine. so stop holding the romances/mmc's/fmc's to the same standards as ones in normal romance books. they're kids!!!
(this is also why she wrote the SA scenes with mark + the child sex scenes in detail - it was her experience & her outlet.)
but as long as we know they won't repeat those things, they heal, & as long as they know it wasn't intentional (which they already do as having it in the boy's povs is important as we're able to see that they said no for the girls' sake/mental state & know that they didn't mean harm), then it is not bad for them to end up together and it isn't romanticising SA - it's realistic. which is why, again it's an 18+ series.
& i think a tw that it's realistic & that the main genre isn't romance would stop assault romanticization claims.
╰┈➤"𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕?"
"𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒍𝒊𝒛. 𝒏𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕."
∞ stars
ˏˋ*⁀➷𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔
ღ childhood best friends to lovers to strangers
ღ second chance
ღ best friend's brother
*check TWs! this is not a romance it's a realistic book about trauma!* & it is NOT YA, goodreads needs to change this major publishing mistake. this is 18+.
🌼🏹🪽🦌 exile by taylor swift but it's 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙭 𝙜𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙬𝙖𝙮 being screamed at each other.
well... i even don't know what to say other than im not okay!. i think i genuinely experienced heartbreak for the first time and it was over not only a relationship that i'm not even in, but a fake relationship. i've never felt that over a book before so that's immediately infinity stars and best book in the series hands down. i've cried only over a few books, but i literally hyperventilated to the point where i couldn't breathe over this one.
i've always been a lizziehughie defender and have went to war for lizzie young. i always knew there was going to be a valid reason for how she acts despite her not needing one to gain my heart, but the fact that so many failed to see that is unnerving. i cannot express my love for them, i think they have a special place in my heart beyond any other couple, and they've been my favourite before we even had their book - as side characters they already suck me in, so something about them just pulled at my soul from the beginning. i got so much hate for ranking them so high but now it's so normal that it feels weird. i've also never experienced the wait for an anticipated release before like this book, i was spending every day looking at chloe's spotify and watching and making edits of them. and the fact that it's over just like that is painful i need their next book asap.
that ending... i don't think i'll ever get over it. it hurt to see them grow less and less innocent as they grew up because of what they were put through.
the hate on this book concerns me because chloe wrote this based on her own life and to say it's unrealistic is incredibly insensitive and disrespectful to survivors. the trigger warnings are there. and while more bad things happen in this book, all previous books have also been graphic.
light spoilers
↣ 𝓵𝓲𝔃𝔃𝓲𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨
"𝘪 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯"
the fact that as the book goes on chapters begin with another person she's close with saying "what's wrong with her?" until everyone she cares about has turned against her apart from hugh.
everybody failed this girl. since she was a baby she's been called crazy. she's been treated like she's incapable and below everyone for her disorder when she's a top A student, my smart girl. the list of what that girl has been through since she was a baby is horrific yet she's been called an unforgivable abuser... this fandom is hell and it disgusts me that a child is so villainised for simply not coping like the perfect victim. really shows how fake mental health awareness is. in fact she deserved to be way meaner i don't think anything she did was even bad at all. she could've burnt that place to dust and i'd root for her. it makes me so mad that they never gave her even a slightest chance. i absolutely adored her passion for writing, because that's literally me, and hugh saying she's going to write a book one day<3
'give me back my girlhood it was mine first'
the choice she made at the end. oh my brave girl. i had a feeling she was going to do that. and the fact that we know it gets worse again, that it didn't work.. "𝘪 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺" also her sleeping on her sister's grave broke me. she went through hell. and everyone including her friends and family let her down.
the fact that she was such a diva when we got the real her, so like aoife. obsessed with her.
i really personally hope she finds her faith by the end with his help:(
oh liz u will forever haunt the narrative #lenoredove core (hugh is her haymitch)
↣ 𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓲𝓮 𝓫𝓲𝓰𝓰𝓼
𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘣𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘴
"𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶"
i have no words to describe him other than prince. best boy in the series before and definitely after reading this book, proud to say i claimed this man before the majority. he is everything i want in a man and i am so glad lizzie has a knight like him. i've never seen a better boyfriend ever.
"𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶"
and the fact that he's a nerd is the cherry on top. the fact that he went to the library to research about her disorder because no one would tell him anything... because he wanted to help liz as much as possible. he learned how to give her meds at 12. he could've had a proper childhood, but he spent it protecting lizzie, and i know some are complaining about that, but his character is an old soul, he was never the childish type and there are children like that believe it or not. the way he wants to be a heart surgeon because of what happened to gibsie's family and he never wants to just stand there again. the way he was just such a good friend to everyone, he prayed for catherine to get better my catholic boy, he protected gibsie with his life and stayed with liz through every depressive episode. no other child would've done that he's always been a carer, him and joey are so alike, joey would've been hugh if he had a stable life. and to the people saying hugh had no personality, just can't grasp real love and loyalty. you're telling me you don't like a smart nerd who puts his girl first? i can't believe ppl say hes a bad person. at least hes the only guy whose not a player. the way after what she did he kept protecting her and kept crawling back to her, him not joining in the inappropriate girl talk with the boys bc he's just texting liz all lunch time - so miss americana and the heartbreak prince coded but he breaks other girls hearts not his girl. all he cares abt at school is studying and liz..
his feeling on his relationship with his dad also killed me, the way he and liz both have daddy issues and were a reflection of his parents.
he’s also so aoife as a boy his trauma as a carer for his partner so young is overlooked:(
i also love how awkward he was with liz until he just gave in. actual golden retriever.
↣ 𝓵𝓲𝔃𝔃𝓲𝓮+𝓱𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓲𝓮
"𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺, 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘺."
he was the only one who saw lizzie past her disorder and stood by her side through everything. their love was so pure despite everything they went through.
"𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘥𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦."
him not being interested in any girls until he sees lizzie and takes off his headphones to talk. him riding all the way to her house to make sure she's okay, him ditching rugby for her, him memorising her and her house number since they met, her always making him blush and being the bold one the little rebel and her shy nerd, her pure little soul bringing the invite to his party and matching his costume, them both being readers and reading while laying on each others laps, him planning out their future since he was a kid, the fairy cave<33, the H+L carvings and him saying they'll show their kids, "𝘭𝘪𝘻 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢" ,the og morticia and gomez, the anklet bracelet... with the infinity charm, the book charm, the life buyo ('as long as im here i'll never let you go under' - rip to that after that ending), the semi colon.. she's never gonna take it off, i just adore the fact that their friendship was so well established first... 300 pages until it got romantic. the most character depth. "𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰"
"𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦."
"𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨."
they're so joeyaoife tethered but roles reversed, the way he calls her baby so much i think hugh owns that nickname idc, he's called her that since he was 12!!!
"𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺"
"𝘪'𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩" "𝘯𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺"
𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔
everyone but hugh was a bad friend to liz bc only he believes and listens to her. especially claire.
also while i dont hate katie or claire, they wronged liz first so her retaliating is expected and deserved. katie called her a heroin chic first which means to call someone overly skinny, but when liz said the sticks and stones comment she’s evil? claire also called lizzie’s sisters SA a rumor and stopped visiting liz after she died bc it’s too depressing..
“lizzie is mean” notice how it’s only to the “friends” who have shut her truth out and don’t understand her saying that:)!
im also sick of ppl calling hugh a bad friend to gibs & calling it misogynistic to hate on claire for putting gibs above liz when hugh does the same, but hugh didn’t call his best friend’s sister’s SA a rumour, and hugh didn’t stop visiting after his sister died bc it was too depressing. it was never about her choosing gibsie, it’s about how she treated lizzie, which hugh never did to gibs. he always believed him & stood by him. he also didn’t actually drop gibsie as a friend over lizzie, despite knowing liz refused to be near him. he said he’d never leave gibsie bc of her. meanwhile claire left lizzie just like that bc of her intolerance of gibsie, which she never tired understand the reasoning behind.
liz x joey = same person
they mean everything to me. my two fave characters. literally long lost twins.
but can i just mention the fact that liz and joey do the exact same thing they both attack their sister’s abuser’s brother yet only she is hated.. (joey literally choked and hospitalised his with no regret too yet liz telling hers to die & shoving him but immediately regretting it bc she didn't know about his trauma is somehow worse!) it's also a false narrative that she bullied gibs for years, she ignored him until their friends became friends, then she only ever said max 3 truly mean things, the rest was back & forth arguments between them both. it's taken so out of proportion. (i don't like the boys' logic of beating innocents bc they can't beat a girl, but it was normal back then.)
liz x caoimhe
sisters who haunt the narrative3
i will forever defend caoimhe idc. people need to realise they are all children. she was a victim by mark and her dad & left to be the glass child. her dad manipulated her to think kids make bad things up, and to treat her sister the way that she did & mark manipulated her romantically and literally sexually scarred her - forcing her to get an abortion, etc. you don't have to love a character or excuse their behaviour, but you can understand & not villainise them. once she actually knew what mark was doing she fought for gibs and liz til her last breath - that is redemption. she was never a villain, mark is. focus on him not the kids pls!
𝐻+𝐿 "𝓉𝑜𝑔𝑒𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇"
the ending.. i didn't expect them to break up that way. i still can't stop thinking about it without feeling sick. what do you mean "no matter what" was for nothing?
i need a book after the next one of lizhugh being happy, marrying at 18, going to college and being a writer and doctor, having kids and showing them the initials they carved like they said they would. update sep: cw said she’s writing more in college years so hopefully!
NOTE about the handle of SA in the series:
'how can she SA hugh after going through the same thing' is an immature take. & using SA as an argument to defend your faves is immature.
yes lizzie technically SA'd hugh & technically hugh did to her too (as she was manic & he clearly didn't understand the scope of it.) (just like aoife did to joey when he was high/after she was nearly SA'd by teddy and claire did to gibsie when they were in bed/after she found out about his SA), (every fmc did but shannon). it was SA because he was harmed by her either way and he sad no either way. but circumstances matter, especially in lizzie's case. bc she is a child. it is a time period where sex ed was poor. she is manic & hypersexual. & most importantly she was manipulated her whole life to think sex is medicine, and does not know what consent really is, let alone sex.
i can't stress enough that this isn't a romance book. this is a book about trauma, and it's so disappointing the publishers ever labelled it as YA.
this is realistic. it's a real affect of child SA. children's brains aren't developed, so bad things can be normalised for them if they're taught it's good. you can't always hold bad things children do to the same standard as adults. what's important is they don't become this way as adults.
& both hugh and liz are still victims in this case. two things can exist at once. she didn't mean harm or bad intent like other characters who SA, such as pierce.
and ppl who have strong hatred for any of the core 10 when they're all children going through stuff you couldn't imagine. so stop holding the romances/mmc's/fmc's to the same standards as ones in normal romance books. they're kids!!!
(this is also why she wrote the SA scenes with mark + the child sex scenes in detail - it was her experience & her outlet.)
but as long as we know they won't repeat those things, they heal, & as long as they know it wasn't intentional (which they already do as having it in the boy's povs is important as we're able to see that they said no for the girls' sake/mental state & know that they didn't mean harm), then it is not bad for them to end up together and it isn't romanticising SA - it's realistic. which is why, again it's an 18+ series.
& i think a tw that it's realistic & that the main genre isn't romance would stop assault romanticization claims.
November 14, 2025
♾️stars!!
(Minor~Spoilers)
~‘𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲, 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗛𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗕𝗶𝗴𝗴𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿.
𝗔𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗛𝘂𝗴𝗵.
𝗛𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺𝘀.
𝗛𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱.
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲.’
{I’m obsessed with this book and I love associating this with songs, so here are some songs that quite literally describe this book 😭} ⬇️
__________
[Black Friday~ Tom Odell 🎵
🎧 ‘You take my hand and hold it gently up against your cheek
It's all in my head, it's all in my mind
I see the darkness where you see the light
It's all in my head, who do I trust?
I thought that you loved me, what is happening to us?’
_________
[Don’t let me go~ Tom Odell 🎵
🎧 I've got my head in your palms
I stare at the scars on your arms
‘Don't let me go’
I won't let you go’
__________
[Call Your Mom (with Lizzy McApline)~ Noah Kahan 🎵
🎧‘Don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathin'
So won't you stay, won't you stay,
won't you stay with me?’
___________
[Best~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧’Promise I don't forget all of my fault in this
'Cause look at me, I'm alone, sitting here, staying home All of my self-control kinda got difficult
But I deserve it though, l deserve it though’
_____________
[I Told You Things~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧’You built this cage
Lost color in my face
You're fair and I'm insane
Hallucination, shame, guilt
Pain, more pain’
______________
[I miss you, I’m sorry~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧 I still love you, I promise
Nothing happened in the way I wanted
Every corner of this house is haunted
And I know you said that we're not talking
But I miss you, I'm sorry
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse
Everything I know brings me back to us
_________________
[seven~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧 And l've been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with me
And we can be pirates
Then you won't have to cry
Or hide in the closet
___________________
[Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧 ‘I'm always drunk on my own tears
Isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched
And I'm wrong’
________________
[mad woman~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧‘What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothin' like a mad woman
___________________
[Cool About It~ Boygenius 🎵
🎧’I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie
But we don't have to talk about it
I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend bein' with you doesn't feel like drowning
Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doin'
Even though we know it isn't true’
__________________
📖Review:
No one could’ve prepared me for what was to come for me in this book, no matter how may trigger warnings and content warnings, the things written and told in this book were so hard to read but at the same time so real and raw.
There was no way you could sugarcoat any story like this, Chloe Walsh did a beautiful job at even being able to be vulnerable in so many ways told through the books of this series. Not only building up these characters but adding in some of her own experiences in each of them.
I will forever be a defender for this book, if there are zero defenders for this book I’d have to be dead because I will take ZERO slander on this book! 🙅♀️
(Except when it comes to Mar* All*n)
Elizabeth Young is such a complex beautifully written character with deep REAL raw trauma. It baffles me to read about people hating on Lizzie, as if she hadn’t been abused physically, verbally, and mentally.? 💔
I can’t even imagine how I would be and turn out if I’d go through even half of what she went through ☹️ it really shocks me on people not seeing the full picture on why she’s turned out the way she is..😶
I can’t even comprehend the fact that people would even hate on a book like this. I understand if it’s hard to read, the triggers in this book are so deep and shouldn’t be taken lightly when going into this book. But the fact that people slander the author in writing HER OWN PERSONAL experiences? It’s unbelievable tbh. 🤦🏻♀️
I felt like specific experiences in my life were brought to light in this book, even in some ways I could find pieces of myself in Lizzie and specific experiences she Went through, there was ALOT of self reflection in after reading this book for sure.😶🌫️
whether it was big or small I’ve never read a book where I felt so deeply for a person at all. 🥲
And while I’m not excusing ALL of Lizzie’s actions, i definitely give her some grace on some. Some parts of the book considered “too much” or “overall done” from people’s reviews is really..🤦🏻♀️
People’s stories are being told through this book, and so many subjects in this book that aren’t really discussed.
The story wasn’t sugarcoated at all, it sometimes felt like I was reading a personal diary, and I think that’s why I understand these characters and learn to empathize with them because it’s so real and just raw.
Lizzie Young, I just wanted to give her the biggest hug and take her out of that place. 😖🫂
She was just a baby, and seeing her being failed by everyone in her life was so heartbreaking to read, I’ve never cried so many times in a book.😩💔
And Hughie Biggs, he’s practically angel sent it hurt even seeing how much he had to carry at such a young age, no child should ever be filling in the roles for adults. In this case, almost ALL the adults in her life.
😭❤️🩹
But his LOVE and ADORATION for Lizzie was so heartfelt, pure and real, ugh my respect for him just grew on.📈
Reading this book, no joke was life changing and eye opening 👏🏼 as much as it hurt reading this, I felt like it was so important to read it. Understanding BPD from the person’s perspective and even being in the perspective of Lizzie going through experiences no being should ever go through was definitely eye opening and even at times reopened wounds for me.❤️🩹
I have such a soft spot for this series and most importantly this book.
I’m so INTRIGUED with how this story will play out? 👀 🫢
I’m litterally counting the days to when we’ll get the next book 🫡
I will forever be a defender for this series and these characters I’ve grown to appreciate and adore, I don’t think there’ll be any other book like this one. ♥️
⭐️Rating: 5+/5
🔥Spice: 5/5 (research content warnings‼️‼️)
📚Age Rating: 16+ (research content warnings⚠️)
🎧Songs:
(Yes this playlist is long, yes I will continue to add songs on the daily 🧍🏻♀️)
~Silver Springs~Fleetwood Mac
~Go On Your Way~Fleetwood Mac
~Landslide~Fleetwood Mac
~Everything Has Changed~Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran
~happiness~Taylor Swift
~Mirrorball~Taylor Swift
~cardigan~Taylor Swift
~peace~Taylor Swift
~exile~Taylor Swift, Bon Iver
~Ruin the friendship~Taylor Swift
~The fate of Ophelia~Taylor Swift
~Father Figure~Taylor Swift
~Forever Winter~Taylor Swift
~right where you left me~Taylor Swift
~The Archer~Taylor Swift
~The Last Time~Taylor Swift
~New Years Day~Taylor Swift
~The Smallest man who ever lived~Taylor Swift
~Guilty as sin?~Taylor Swift
~Fresh Out The Slammer~Taylor Swift
~Down Bad~Taylor Swift
~mad woman~Taylor Swift
~Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?~Taylor Swift
~Would’ve Could’ve should’ve~Taylor Swift
~You’re on your own, kid~Taylor Swift
~How Did It End?~Taylor Swift
~Cassandra~Taylor Swift
~Two people~Gracie Abrams
~Best~Gracie Abrams
~Full machine~Gracie Abrams
~Feels like~Gracie Abrams
~Hard to Sleep~Gracie Abrams
~Block me out~Gracie Abrams
~Difficult~Gracie Abrams
~Camden~Gracie Abrams
~Mess It Up~Gracie Abrams
~Gave You I Gave You I~Gracie Abrams
~I miss you I’m sorry~Gracie Abrams
~I love you I’m Sorry~Gracie Abrams
~I told you things~Gracie Abrams
~I know it won’t work~Gracie Abrams
~Where do we go now?~Gracie Abrams
~I Know The End~Phoebe Bridgers
~Waiting Room~Phoebe Bridgers
~Savior Complex~Phoebe Bridgers
~Don’t cry, Put Your Head On My Shoulder~Tom Odell
~Don’t let me go~Tom Odell
~When I Close My Eyes~Tom Odell
~Black Friday~Tom Odell
~Heal~Tom Odell
~This Town~Niall Horan
~Flicker~Niall Horan
~For The First Time~Mac DeMarco
~My Kind Of Woman~Mac DeMarco
~Call your mom~Noah Kahan, Lizzy McApline
~Paul Revere~Noah Kahan
~You’re gonna go far~Noah Kahan
~Astronomy~Conan Gray
~Nauseous~Conan Gray
~Summer Child~Conan Gray
~Foreward beckons rebound~Adrienne Lenker
~anything~Adrienne Lenker
~TV~Billie Eilish
~The 30th~Billie Eilish
~I love you~Billie Eilish
~when the party’s over~Billie Eilish
~everything I wanted~Billie Eilish
~WILDFLOWER~Billie Eilish
~BIRDS OF A FEATHER~Billie Eilish
~Love The Hell Out Of You~Lewis Capaldi
~Hold Me While You Wait~Lewis Capaldi
~Before You Go~Lewis Capaldi
~Let Down~Radiohead
~Creep~Radiohead
~All I Need~Radiohead
~back to friends~Sombr
~Undressed~Sombr
~Washing Machine Heart~Mitski
~First Love/Late Spring~Mitski
~Fix You~Coldplay
~Sparks~Coldplay
~The Scientist~Coldplay
~One Last Time~Ariana Grande
~we can’t be friends (wait for your love)~Ariana Grande
~Teenage Dream~Olivia Rodrigo
~the grudge~Olivia Rodrigo
~Perfect~Ed Sheeran
~Happier~Ed Sheeran
~The Joker and the Queen~Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift
~because I liked a boy~Sabrina Carpenter
~Don’t Smile~Sabrina Carpenter
~Nothings gonna hurt you baby~Cigarettes after sex
~Mind Over Matter (Reprise)~Young the giant
~Lucky Ones~Lana Del Rey
~Yesterday~Beatles
~Mom Told Me Everything Will Be Okay~Gab Sadie
~Cool About It~Boygenius
~I Won’t Give You Up~Jason Mraz
~The Most~Miley Cyrus
~I Can’t Handle Change~Roar
~Matilda~Harry Styles
~We Hug Now~Sydney Rose
~Somewhere Only We Know~Keane
~Look After You~The Fray
~All I want~Kodaline
~Always remember us this way~Lady Gaga
~Need You Now~Lady A
~We’ll never have sex~Leith Ross
~Say Something~A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera
~Love In The Dark~Adele
~Fade Into You~Mazzy Star
~Wings~Birdy
~You’re somebody else~flora cash
(No-major spoilers 🔽)
💌 Favorite Quotes:
~“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝘾𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙚-𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙧,"
𝙂𝙞𝙗𝙨𝙞𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙, 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚.
"𝘼 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚."
𝙄 𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙪𝙥. "𝘼 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚?"
"𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙬𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙨𝙚𝙚?"
𝙂𝙞𝙗𝙨𝙞𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚.
"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧."
~"𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬?"
"𝙄 𝙖𝙢?"
"𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧'𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩."
𝙈𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙩.
"𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩?"
"𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙇𝙞𝙯." 𝙃𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙.
"𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩."
~ "𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗱. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿. 𝗢𝗸𝗮𝘆? 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻.”
~ "𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹, 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂."
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹?"
"𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆."
~ "𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹?"
"𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗹𝘆?"
"𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀."
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗺𝗲," 𝗜 𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗸.
"𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲"
🩷❤️🩹💙Preread:
I just read the first 40 pages. Wish me luck- 🧍🏻♀️
(Minor~Spoilers)
~‘𝗗𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲, 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗛𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗕𝗶𝗴𝗴𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗹𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗿.
𝗔𝗻𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗼𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗛𝘂𝗴𝗵.
𝗛𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺𝘀.
𝗛𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗱.
𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗲.’
{I’m obsessed with this book and I love associating this with songs, so here are some songs that quite literally describe this book 😭} ⬇️
__________
[Black Friday~ Tom Odell 🎵
🎧 ‘You take my hand and hold it gently up against your cheek
It's all in my head, it's all in my mind
I see the darkness where you see the light
It's all in my head, who do I trust?
I thought that you loved me, what is happening to us?’
_________
[Don’t let me go~ Tom Odell 🎵
🎧 I've got my head in your palms
I stare at the scars on your arms
‘Don't let me go’
I won't let you go’
__________
[Call Your Mom (with Lizzy McApline)~ Noah Kahan 🎵
🎧‘Don't wanna drive another mile wonderin' if you're breathin'
So won't you stay, won't you stay,
won't you stay with me?’
___________
[Best~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧’Promise I don't forget all of my fault in this
'Cause look at me, I'm alone, sitting here, staying home All of my self-control kinda got difficult
But I deserve it though, l deserve it though’
_____________
[I Told You Things~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧’You built this cage
Lost color in my face
You're fair and I'm insane
Hallucination, shame, guilt
Pain, more pain’
______________
[I miss you, I’m sorry~ Gracie Abrams 🎵
🎧 I still love you, I promise
Nothing happened in the way I wanted
Every corner of this house is haunted
And I know you said that we're not talking
But I miss you, I'm sorry
I don't wanna go, think I'll make it worse
Everything I know brings me back to us
_________________
[seven~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧 And l've been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with me
And we can be pirates
Then you won't have to cry
Or hide in the closet
___________________
[Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧 ‘I'm always drunk on my own tears
Isn't that what they all said?
That I'll sue you if you step on my lawn
That I'm fearsome and I'm wretched
And I'm wrong’
________________
[mad woman~ Taylor Swift 🎵
🎧‘What a shame she went mad
No one likes a mad woman
You made her like that
And you'll poke that bear 'til her claws come out
And you find something to wrap your noose around
And there's nothin' like a mad woman
___________________
[Cool About It~ Boygenius 🎵
🎧’I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie
But we don't have to talk about it
I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend bein' with you doesn't feel like drowning
Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doin'
Even though we know it isn't true’
__________________
📖Review:
No one could’ve prepared me for what was to come for me in this book, no matter how may trigger warnings and content warnings, the things written and told in this book were so hard to read but at the same time so real and raw.
There was no way you could sugarcoat any story like this, Chloe Walsh did a beautiful job at even being able to be vulnerable in so many ways told through the books of this series. Not only building up these characters but adding in some of her own experiences in each of them.
I will forever be a defender for this book, if there are zero defenders for this book I’d have to be dead because I will take ZERO slander on this book! 🙅♀️
(Except when it comes to Mar* All*n)
Elizabeth Young is such a complex beautifully written character with deep REAL raw trauma. It baffles me to read about people hating on Lizzie, as if she hadn’t been abused physically, verbally, and mentally.? 💔
I can’t even imagine how I would be and turn out if I’d go through even half of what she went through ☹️ it really shocks me on people not seeing the full picture on why she’s turned out the way she is..😶
I can’t even comprehend the fact that people would even hate on a book like this. I understand if it’s hard to read, the triggers in this book are so deep and shouldn’t be taken lightly when going into this book. But the fact that people slander the author in writing HER OWN PERSONAL experiences? It’s unbelievable tbh. 🤦🏻♀️
I felt like specific experiences in my life were brought to light in this book, even in some ways I could find pieces of myself in Lizzie and specific experiences she Went through, there was ALOT of self reflection in after reading this book for sure.😶🌫️
whether it was big or small I’ve never read a book where I felt so deeply for a person at all. 🥲
And while I’m not excusing ALL of Lizzie’s actions, i definitely give her some grace on some. Some parts of the book considered “too much” or “overall done” from people’s reviews is really..🤦🏻♀️
People’s stories are being told through this book, and so many subjects in this book that aren’t really discussed.
The story wasn’t sugarcoated at all, it sometimes felt like I was reading a personal diary, and I think that’s why I understand these characters and learn to empathize with them because it’s so real and just raw.
Lizzie Young, I just wanted to give her the biggest hug and take her out of that place. 😖🫂
She was just a baby, and seeing her being failed by everyone in her life was so heartbreaking to read, I’ve never cried so many times in a book.😩💔
And Hughie Biggs, he’s practically angel sent it hurt even seeing how much he had to carry at such a young age, no child should ever be filling in the roles for adults. In this case, almost ALL the adults in her life.
😭❤️🩹
But his LOVE and ADORATION for Lizzie was so heartfelt, pure and real, ugh my respect for him just grew on.📈
Reading this book, no joke was life changing and eye opening 👏🏼 as much as it hurt reading this, I felt like it was so important to read it. Understanding BPD from the person’s perspective and even being in the perspective of Lizzie going through experiences no being should ever go through was definitely eye opening and even at times reopened wounds for me.❤️🩹
I have such a soft spot for this series and most importantly this book.
I’m so INTRIGUED with how this story will play out? 👀 🫢
I’m litterally counting the days to when we’ll get the next book 🫡
I will forever be a defender for this series and these characters I’ve grown to appreciate and adore, I don’t think there’ll be any other book like this one. ♥️
⭐️Rating: 5+/5
🔥Spice: 5/5 (research content warnings‼️‼️)
📚Age Rating: 16+ (research content warnings⚠️)
🎧Songs:
(Yes this playlist is long, yes I will continue to add songs on the daily 🧍🏻♀️)
~Silver Springs~Fleetwood Mac
~Go On Your Way~Fleetwood Mac
~Landslide~Fleetwood Mac
~Everything Has Changed~Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran
~happiness~Taylor Swift
~Mirrorball~Taylor Swift
~cardigan~Taylor Swift
~peace~Taylor Swift
~exile~Taylor Swift, Bon Iver
~Ruin the friendship~Taylor Swift
~The fate of Ophelia~Taylor Swift
~Father Figure~Taylor Swift
~Forever Winter~Taylor Swift
~right where you left me~Taylor Swift
~The Archer~Taylor Swift
~The Last Time~Taylor Swift
~New Years Day~Taylor Swift
~The Smallest man who ever lived~Taylor Swift
~Guilty as sin?~Taylor Swift
~Fresh Out The Slammer~Taylor Swift
~Down Bad~Taylor Swift
~mad woman~Taylor Swift
~Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?~Taylor Swift
~Would’ve Could’ve should’ve~Taylor Swift
~You’re on your own, kid~Taylor Swift
~How Did It End?~Taylor Swift
~Cassandra~Taylor Swift
~Two people~Gracie Abrams
~Best~Gracie Abrams
~Full machine~Gracie Abrams
~Feels like~Gracie Abrams
~Hard to Sleep~Gracie Abrams
~Block me out~Gracie Abrams
~Difficult~Gracie Abrams
~Camden~Gracie Abrams
~Mess It Up~Gracie Abrams
~Gave You I Gave You I~Gracie Abrams
~I miss you I’m sorry~Gracie Abrams
~I love you I’m Sorry~Gracie Abrams
~I told you things~Gracie Abrams
~I know it won’t work~Gracie Abrams
~Where do we go now?~Gracie Abrams
~I Know The End~Phoebe Bridgers
~Waiting Room~Phoebe Bridgers
~Savior Complex~Phoebe Bridgers
~Don’t cry, Put Your Head On My Shoulder~Tom Odell
~Don’t let me go~Tom Odell
~When I Close My Eyes~Tom Odell
~Black Friday~Tom Odell
~Heal~Tom Odell
~This Town~Niall Horan
~Flicker~Niall Horan
~For The First Time~Mac DeMarco
~My Kind Of Woman~Mac DeMarco
~Call your mom~Noah Kahan, Lizzy McApline
~Paul Revere~Noah Kahan
~You’re gonna go far~Noah Kahan
~Astronomy~Conan Gray
~Nauseous~Conan Gray
~Summer Child~Conan Gray
~Foreward beckons rebound~Adrienne Lenker
~anything~Adrienne Lenker
~TV~Billie Eilish
~The 30th~Billie Eilish
~I love you~Billie Eilish
~when the party’s over~Billie Eilish
~everything I wanted~Billie Eilish
~WILDFLOWER~Billie Eilish
~BIRDS OF A FEATHER~Billie Eilish
~Love The Hell Out Of You~Lewis Capaldi
~Hold Me While You Wait~Lewis Capaldi
~Before You Go~Lewis Capaldi
~Let Down~Radiohead
~Creep~Radiohead
~All I Need~Radiohead
~back to friends~Sombr
~Undressed~Sombr
~Washing Machine Heart~Mitski
~First Love/Late Spring~Mitski
~Fix You~Coldplay
~Sparks~Coldplay
~The Scientist~Coldplay
~One Last Time~Ariana Grande
~we can’t be friends (wait for your love)~Ariana Grande
~Teenage Dream~Olivia Rodrigo
~the grudge~Olivia Rodrigo
~Perfect~Ed Sheeran
~Happier~Ed Sheeran
~The Joker and the Queen~Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift
~because I liked a boy~Sabrina Carpenter
~Don’t Smile~Sabrina Carpenter
~Nothings gonna hurt you baby~Cigarettes after sex
~Mind Over Matter (Reprise)~Young the giant
~Lucky Ones~Lana Del Rey
~Yesterday~Beatles
~Mom Told Me Everything Will Be Okay~Gab Sadie
~Cool About It~Boygenius
~I Won’t Give You Up~Jason Mraz
~The Most~Miley Cyrus
~I Can’t Handle Change~Roar
~Matilda~Harry Styles
~We Hug Now~Sydney Rose
~Somewhere Only We Know~Keane
~Look After You~The Fray
~All I want~Kodaline
~Always remember us this way~Lady Gaga
~Need You Now~Lady A
~We’ll never have sex~Leith Ross
~Say Something~A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera
~Love In The Dark~Adele
~Fade Into You~Mazzy Star
~Wings~Birdy
~You’re somebody else~flora cash
(No-major spoilers 🔽)
💌 Favorite Quotes:
~“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩, 𝘾𝙡𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙚-𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙧,"
𝙂𝙞𝙗𝙨𝙞𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙙, 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙖 𝙗𝙞𝙜 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚.
"𝘼 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚."
𝙄 𝙨𝙘𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙨 𝙪𝙥. "𝘼 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚?"
"𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙬𝙚'𝙧𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙨𝙚𝙚?"
𝙂𝙞𝙗𝙨𝙞𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚.
"𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧."
~"𝙔𝙤𝙪'𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙬?"
"𝙄 𝙖𝙢?"
"𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧'𝙨 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩."
𝙈𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙥𝙩.
"𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩?"
"𝙔𝙚𝙖𝙝, 𝙇𝙞𝙯." 𝙃𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙.
"𝙉𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩."
~ "𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗱. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿. 𝗢𝗸𝗮𝘆? 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻.”
~ "𝗕𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹, 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂."
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹?"
"𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆."
~ "𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝗜 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹?"
"𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗹𝘆?"
"𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀."
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗺𝗲," 𝗜 𝗮𝗱𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗸.
"𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲"
🩷❤️🩹💙Preread:
I just read the first 40 pages. Wish me luck- 🧍🏻♀️
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