My Neighbor Saw Me Naked and Other Reasons You Need Drapes: The Essential Decorating Handbook

by Annie Elliott

Should my drapes have a pinch pleat or a rod pocket? What rug material will stand up best to my pets and children? How tall should my side tables be? Where should I put the TV?! There are so, so many decisions that go into designing a home—and the choices can be overwhelming. Sometimes, you just want to be told what to do. Designer Annie Elliott is here to do just offer simple, direct answers to your every design quandary.

As she says in her “While there exist dozens—nay, hundreds!—of gorgeous coffee table books, there is no book that gives it to you straight. No book that provides only the most important things you need to know as you feather your nest. (By which I mean, those things that result in the biggest and most costly mistakes if you get them wrong, and the most tasteful interiors if you get them right.)” That is, until now. In her twenty-plus years running an interior design business in Washington, DC, Annie has collected dozens of best practices when it comes to decorating, and now she’s compiled them all into the perfect pocket manual. With chapters on everything from window treatments to accessories, plus a “cheat sheet” of helpful dimensions, readers will be armed with all of the expert intel they need to turn their house into a stylish, functional home.
 

176 pages, Hardcover

Published August 12, 2025

Reviews

[Jaimme Olson · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Life is messy. Do what you can and control the clutter, and then be thankful for the people who are creating it.”

Also I need a floor lamp now.

[Penny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a basic, approachable, and often funny, guide to designing your home. This brief handbook covers the key points of decorating a living space, from choosing window coverings to arranging decorative objects and furniture from a woman with more than twenty years as an interior decorator. The book teaches some terminology and discusses topics such as: using color; the pros and cons of various materials used in rugs; the types of paint finishes and where they are best applied; the best scale and type of lighting for specific purposes; and how to arrange artwork. A lot of helpful measurements are summarized in the “Cheat Sheet” at the back of the book. The book uses illustrations to add context.

The tone is breezy and very often funny (her neighbor actually did see her naked). I laughed out loud at a couple of the descriptions, including of a certain style of bookshelf she calls “Erudite/old money” with more than a hint of sarcasm: “Books, books, and more books. Shelves stuffed to the gills. Horizontal books crammed on top of vertical books…. Emphasize the messiness by shoving all books to the back of the bookcase to create an uneven face, and then place objects in front of them…. Bonus points for stacks of books on the floor in front of the bookcase…” I’m pretty sure she’s making fun of this look because her aesthetic seems generally more refined and precise, though not stodgy. She is a proponent of neatness and includes a neat person’s tiny section on clutter, but she’s also a believer in having a home that incorporates your interests, hobbies, collections, and makes you happy. If you are just starting out with a new home or are interested in making your current home feel more interesting or cohesive, this is a good, non-intimidating, reference book to get you started.

[Jillaire · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title--obviously--caught my attention at my local bookstore. As we were in the middle of remodeling, I thought that having some advice on window coverings, art hanging, and furniture placement would be useful. There are lots of useful definitions and guidance on sizes and arrangements for all sorts of things, but I do wish there had been more pictures/illustrations. There were some things she described that I just couldn't grasp, and I would think that a book devoted to how things LOOK might offer a bit more in the visual aid department. I also think some of her advice was personal preference and not so much design principles, but overall this is something I'll continue to refer to when needing to make purchases or design decisions. I don't see it as the end-all-be-all, but as a helpful guide. 2.5 stars.

[Lindsi K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun! Nothing earth shattering if you’ve read other interior design books, but often humorous and very practical.