I didn’t care for this book until all of a sudden, I did. There are some problems, but the ending is sweet and perfect, with good, strong character arcs for the main protagonists, Jack and Suz.
One of the biggest problems is pace. The book is slow during the first half; even with action going on, the story drags. We are in Suz’s head much of the time and she says the same things over and over. Suz is a whiner who has a great man who’s asked her to marry him, but he doesn’t fit in the perfect world she’s cut out for herself – the suburbs, a man home every night, children, love. That the man she is seeing, Jack, truly loves her doesn’t faze her except to make her feel guilty for not being good enough for him. She says this to herself in a litany. We readily see that this is an excuse. She wants what she wants and no compromising. She is rigid and will not back down from her vision of her perfect world. There’s no room for Jack, who is deployed much of the time and away from her perfect home, a house that Jack bought for her with his Iniquus signing bonus, then fixed it the way she wanted it. Geez…
Jack is oblivious to Suz’s feelings even though they have talked and talked about his deployments and how much she dislikes them, and how they make her feel lost and alone. She doesn’t seem to utilize her position in the Iniquus family, supported by aides (ISOs, Iniquus Support Officers) hired for the express purpose of taking care of loved ones left behind. Jack bought Suz a house, but she had no say in it and didn’t get to look for one with him. Jack bought Suz two dogs, but Suz had no say in them and didn’t get to spend time looking for them with him. These two are SO mismatched. And incredibly, it is because of Jack’s caring thoroughness that Suz is able to keep the children in her classroom safe when the unthinkable happens, and the school is attacked by terrorists. These two are a dysfunctional couple – I was convinced until the last chapter of the book that they were totally, completely, irreparably antithetical.
Sidebar: Why is there a 15-inch difference in their heights? That’s just…strange to picture. What’s wrong with a shorter special ops guy…or a taller woman? Just wondering…
There are some places in the book that cause a reader to pause to puzzle out what’s going on.
Something doesn’t set right. Suz has rescued the children in her class, all thanks to Jack’s having prepared her and her environment to allow Suz to protect and save them. She isn’t even grateful. Lynx offers to take her to see Jack, who is in the hospital recovering from surgery, but Suz begs off. She doesn’t want to see him because she’s breaking it off with him. This is part of her litany that extends right to the end of the book. Not even a “thank you” for the man who did so much for her and the children.
After spending a harrowing day into night with the children hidden away, a friend of Suz’s suggests taking a quick trip to St. Martens. That’s odd. And it feels wrong. Suz is exhausted, wants to get home to her dogs and has clearly gone through an ordeal. Instead, she decides to travel. Hmmm. Somehow, I don’t think so. Suz has been painted as the consummate homebody.
Another oddity: Suz and her dad had a close relationship, “they had been close, two peas in a pod.” One day at work, he fell from a ladder after suffering a heart attack and was killed instantly. Suz uses this as a reason not to continue a relationship with Jack: “Suz couldn’t do that to her future children. They deserved a father who was home.” Okay. But her father stayed at home and died anyway. Using that as a reason to stop seeing Jack makes no sense.
Another odd thing is that Suz recognized a rifle some bad guys were carrying as the same rifle that Strike Force carried. The writer has spent some time telling and showing us how horrified Suz is of guns. She throws up after touching one. She can’t bear to be around them. It’s difficult to believe that she would recognize a rifle as a specific type.
Suz is looking at a sick child and we’re told, “She could see a headache thrumming at his temple.” That’s a stopper. How could she see a headache? Headaches are an invisible condition. People can’t see them. Suz does not have Lynx’s second sight.
Suz needs water and decides on an extraordinary method of obtaining it. It’s raining hard; she finds a clean t-shirt, a cooking pot and a cup (getting it from a survival backpack that never runs out of stuff): “Holding the t-shirt in a loose ball, she reached out from under the tent fly, bringing the cloth in and squeezing it into the pot repeatedly until it was full.” This made me laugh. I’ve actually done this on a dare when I was a kid. It was during a deluge, and a friend and I dared each other to fill mixing bowls with water by soaking and wringing out t-shirt sized dishtowels. It took a very long time to fill the bowls about halfway. And our hands hurt from all the wringing. Suz uses this technique to supply water to herself and two kids, a lot of water to slake the thirst that had accumulated for days. And enough to save for later. Nope. Highly unlikely. Suz is small, with small kid-sized hands doing the wringing.
Suz is kidnapped in order to care for the children who had been kidnapped before she had. Why? The men, terrorists, seemed to have contacts where they were in South America, yet they had to abduct Suz from Maryland in order to find someone to care for the two children? I couldn’t buy into this premise.
Jack is placed into an Arabic community and apparently blends in. Nope. Not buying this either. Jack is a large 6’5” tall man. He would not fit in.
A character is sprung on us without introduction: “Jack glanced to his left, where Ruth had parked in a beat-to-hell van from the seventies…” Who is Ruth? This is the first time she’s mentioned. Later, we can infer that she is with Mossad. She has a couple mentions in chapters 24 and 25, and again briefly in chapter 34. Who knows?
Jack has left the hospital against medical advice, having just had knee surgery. He’s on crutches and in pain. Suddenly, he’s “…skipping in front of a taxi that didn’t want to slow…” Again, no. The writer cannot have it both ways. He would not be skipping with his knee in the shape it’s in. And later on, he insists on “taking point” in a rescue mission. He’d be jeopardizing everyone just to be the frontman? Again, that makes no sense. His knee is in terrible shape, and his body isn’t in much better shape after jumping out of a building and landing hard during a previous mission.
The narrator intrudes on occasion, and it isn’t necessary. It breaks into the story and forces the reader to pause. Here’s an example: “But that wasn’t how it had panned out. Not by a long shot.” There is no reason to tell the reader; if we just keep reading, we’ll find out on our own.
Finally, on page 228, Suz comes to a moment of clarity when she says to herself, “Wow. I am such a hypocrite.” Indeed, she is. She whines that Jack is always off saving the world, then whines when he isn’t saving her, never mind his ruined knee.
There are some errors in the book that stop a reader’s momentum.
Punctuation remains a problem for this writer. Her books seem loaded with misused commas and periods. For example:
Here a comma changes the meaning of a sentence: “Jack had been in danger since before Suz, and he started dating back when he was a SEAL in California.” This sounds as if Jack had started dating—and not necessarily Suz—when he was a SEAL. However, I believe the writer is talking about Jack and Suz dating, so the comma should be removed: “Jack had been in danger since before Suz and he started dating back when he was a SEAL in California.” Now it’s obvious that the writer is talking about Jack’s and Suz’s dating history.
An incorrect word is used in this sentence: “Four at homesick.” No one is homesick as in nostalgic or pining for something. Instead, some students were sick at home. The sentence should read, “Four at home, sick.” The comma is not strictly necessary, but it does make the meaning obvious.
A period is needed at the end of this sentence: “She couldn’t imagine” Or, perhaps the writer didn’t finish the sentence? Hard to tell.
Here, there’s an extra period in the middle of a sentence: “There isn’t a computer system in the world. He can’t crack.” This should read, “There isn’t a computer system in the world he can’t crack.”
An incorrect word is used: “Some of them appeared to be barely out of pubescents.” The correct word is “pubescence.” Pubescents are teenagers. Pubescence is puberty. The writer is talking about the state of puberty, not the individual teenagers. This should read, "...barely out of prepubescence."
Two double quotation marks end a sentence: “We’ll take it back to Base to examine.””
The wrong tense is used: “We walked all the way across the river when we go on the plane.” The book is written in past tense, and the sentence should read, “…when we got on the plane.”
A comma is needed to indicate that Ari is being addressed: “Shh Ari, I want to hear” should read, “Shh, Ari, I want to hear.”
A pronoun seems to be missing here: “Can run a search with education or school…?” I believe the writer means, “Can you run a search…?”
The sit/set verbs are confused. “…a bag of clothes, a bag of food, and a bag form the liquor store, sitting in the back seat of her car.” English is a constantly changing language, but sit still applies to animate objects (people, pets) and set applies to inanimate objects (clothes, food, liquor). This should read, “…setting in the back of her car.”
A word is capitalized unnecessarily. “They were all in California, which seemed like the ends of the Earth right now.” Earth shouldn’t be capitalized because it isn’t a proper noun, as used. This should read, “…the ends of the earth right now.”
Odd spacing appears in the book. Usually, it’s a sentence that is broken in the middle and the second part appears on the line below, looking like the beginning of a new paragraph. This happens in chapter 13.
I rated this book 3.5 stars and rounded down because there were too many places that made me pause to wonder what the writer was trying to tell her readers, and Jack and Suz were just too different and out of sync until the last chapter of the book.
We’re told, “He [Jack] thought it was fun to outguess and outmaneuver; she [Suz] didn’t like to play games. Any games.”
Suz felt belittled by Jack who would smile at her and she “interpreted that smile as ‘endeared by her naivete.’ She hated that he looked at her like that. It made her feel childish, like an ostrich with her head buried in the sand.”
In the end, I had to agree with Suz. Jack definitely deserved better and Suz needed to go find that perfect man who’d be home every night just for her. Never mind that Jack retired from the SEALs for her. She was incensed that he took a job at Iniquus which matched his skillsets to a tee. And Jack doesn’t get away scot-free, either. He purchased a house – a house!! – for Suz without including her in the selection. He bought her two dogs, without eliciting her opinion or desires. Totally out of sync, these two. The final chapter brought them back together, but it left me wondering…for how long?