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The Splittail Files
Welcome to Splittail, where trouble abounds, and High Sheriff Ron Ball's magnificent mustache is the last line of defense between order and chaos.
Armed with twenty-plus years of questionable law enforcement experience and his ever-faithful deputy, Sheriff Ball faces down insurmountable Goat-lovers, peeping Indians, hinky brunos, cheesemongers, pumpkin-pokers, and worst of all—social progress. Fueled by tacos and Orange Fanta, Sheriff Ball navigates investigations, elections, and matters of the heart with his own particular brand of justice.
So take a ride down Creosote Causeway and join Sheriff Ball as he strives to uphold the law (kind of), dispenses timeless wisdom (not really), and struggles to keep his town exactly the same as it was yesterday—just the way God intended.
A masterwork of small-town absurdity that will leave you laughing, cringing, and thanking your lucky stars you don't live in Splittail. Then again, it beats Schenectady.
Armed with twenty-plus years of questionable law enforcement experience and his ever-faithful deputy, Sheriff Ball faces down insurmountable Goat-lovers, peeping Indians, hinky brunos, cheesemongers, pumpkin-pokers, and worst of all—social progress. Fueled by tacos and Orange Fanta, Sheriff Ball navigates investigations, elections, and matters of the heart with his own particular brand of justice.
So take a ride down Creosote Causeway and join Sheriff Ball as he strives to uphold the law (kind of), dispenses timeless wisdom (not really), and struggles to keep his town exactly the same as it was yesterday—just the way God intended.
A masterwork of small-town absurdity that will leave you laughing, cringing, and thanking your lucky stars you don't live in Splittail. Then again, it beats Schenectady.
237 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 14, 2024
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
December 24, 2024
This was a terrific collection of stories about a sheriff and his deputy. The author Geoff states at the beginning of the book that he writes to make Drew laugh, then Drew narrates them to make me laugh. These two characters Geoff and Drew host Drew Blood's Dark Tales Podcast.
I laughed and laughed hard while enjoying this book! Some quotes to ponder.
"As High Sheriff of Splittail, it was my commission to shepherd the unenlightened down those less-rocky paths. To appeal to those less morally qualified or clouded with irrational emotions."
"And what binds us all; what we all have in common, is we all need a second chance from time to time. A mulligan, if you like that better."
"A Sheriff's work is never done. It'd be foolish of me to get it done then, wouldn't it? Hell... I'd be out of a job."
Excellent writing and use of some very colorful English language. If you need a good laugh pick this one up. I wasn't disappointed!
I laughed and laughed hard while enjoying this book! Some quotes to ponder.
"As High Sheriff of Splittail, it was my commission to shepherd the unenlightened down those less-rocky paths. To appeal to those less morally qualified or clouded with irrational emotions."
"And what binds us all; what we all have in common, is we all need a second chance from time to time. A mulligan, if you like that better."
"A Sheriff's work is never done. It'd be foolish of me to get it done then, wouldn't it? Hell... I'd be out of a job."
Excellent writing and use of some very colorful English language. If you need a good laugh pick this one up. I wasn't disappointed!
Displaying 1 of 1 review