Very rarely do I laugh out loud when I'm reading, particularly if what I'm reading is non-fiction. NEVER have I trailed after family members at home, trying to read certain passages to them out loud. I mean, that's just not me. Can I say this BOOK made me do it?
For the Victorians, "God had fashioned the world, and he was a perfect designer whose works were eternal, not an artist who ran out of inspiration and flung his misfires into a wastebasket."
The very first person to discover our fossil history was a woman, Mary Anning. Her family was so impoverished they had to eke out a miserable living scraping ancient ammonites from the cliffs of Lime Regis in England. She found the first whole skeletons of three species: the ichthyosaur, plesiosaur and pterosaur. The first two had been denizens of the sea, while the pterosaur shaded the sky with its 8-foot, leathered wingspan. Being poor, uneducated (albeit self-educated, later) and worse, female, she was relegated to history's dustbin until very recently. When Anning's pleiosaur was presented to the Royal Geographic Society, "'They were as alien to his audience as if they had hailed from another planet,' writes the paleontologist Christopher McGowan, and the spectators sat entranced. Anning was not among them; the Geological Society would be closed to women for almost another century, until 1919. At the time of the talk, only two plesiosaurs had ever been found.
Mary Anning had found both of them. [The scientist presenting her find], Conybeare, never mentioned her name." When the Natural History Museum received them as gifts, only the donors were named. Today, Mary has her own room in the museum; it's quiet, very small, and rarely visited. Time marches on, women's history moves glacially.
The Victorians had been deeply interested in--and fiercely celebrated--the smallest versions of Nature, those they could completely control: seaweed (Why??) was highly popular in their collections, and dried flower petals, for example. These collections didn't disturb their Christian equilibrium. But fossils--?! "Could we—we who were, after all, the point of creation—suddenly vanish, too, popping out of existence like soap bubbles? Wait—what?!"
Fossils "...[H]ad not been captured in an instant, like mice in a mousetrap. Instead, they had been entombed in slow motion, after their deaths, as if ever-so-tiny gravediggers had been at work for millennia, heaping grains of sand and teaspoons of clay and mud atop a corpse. It fell to the geologists to make sense of these discoveries. This was not a mission they had intended. Their goal was to learn about the structure of the earth, not to find relics of ancient life. They set out to study rocks and, in effect, tripped over cadavers."
When I was a child--eons past, now--I found abundant pictures of stegosauraus battling T. rex. I was astonished to learn here that "...stegosaurus had come and gone before the first appearance of T. rex. But that bare fact skips past the real surprise: the span of time from stegosaurus to T. rex was longer than from T. rex to the iPhone." !!! Now it was MY turn to whaa__?!!! "And so our rise seems less a matter of a hard climb to the top and more akin to the story of a mailroom clerk who suddenly finds himself CEO because nearly everyone else was killed in an earthquake."
"Not every culture has believed that humans are the be-all and end-all of creation. Certainly India and China have not. Even Western societies harbored dissenters. Followers of the Greek philosopher Epicurus mocked Christian believers as childishly self-centered: “Christians are like a council of frogs in a pond, croaking at the top of their lungs, "‘For our sake was the world created.’ ” Sadly, those folks are still hellbent on it, what with that huge ark in wherever it is (Google says Williamstown, Kentucky, Trip Advisor snarkily calls it the"Overpriced Christian Tourist Trap.") Then, too, they persist in the belief that Earth is barely 6,000 years old and are trying SO HARD to make the biblical tales make sense. "Since before Copernicus, in fact, because many famous passages in the Bible required literalists to tie themselves in knots. They had devised ingenious theories to explain how it was, for instance, that God had declared, 'Let there be light!' on the first day but had waited until the fourth day to create the sun and the stars." "...[I]f you were a more conventional Christian, extinction did not make sense, because it implied that God did his best but occasionally had to issue recalls of faulty products."
There was a disturbing, and disturbed, English scientist named Buckland, who kept a huge menagerie of wild creatures in his home and ate anything, not limited to devouring Louis XIV's dessicated heart and licking bat urine, which he recognized, so it wasn't even his first lick! He attempted to reinforce the notion of god's distinct preference for White supremacists, "'About nine-tenths of the coal of the world have been thrown by the Creator into the hands of the Anglo-Saxon race.' Then, as if to underline his point, God had made an additional gift to his favorites. This second gift was not coal but gold. It had turned up 'almost simultaneously' in two places, the United States and Australia. Could anyone fail to notice that both countries were English speaking?'" Of course, he didn't know that most of the world's oil would be under Arab sands, or that the continent with the most precious resources was, in fact--Africa. Still, Whites would steal most of that, anyway, so that shift in balance proved illusional. Later in life, Buckland would go quite utterly mad, spending his last years in an insane asylum among shrieking madmen.
In 1725 when huge fossils were first discovered in America, White geologists immediately claimed they belonged to a race of human giants. It took slaves from Africa to say no, you White boneheads, those were obviously elephant bones (mastodons)! The author also notes here that it was a slave named Onesimus who clued in Cotton Mather, American Congregational minister and science/history author, to smallpox vaccination, which was already a regular practice in West Africa. This work is chock-full of marvelous facts.
Thanks to the French Revolution (at least for upending strictures of class), Georges Cuvier, one of the first self-educated scientists who came from abject poverty, realized that whole species must have vanished due to some horrific catastrophes. Unfortunately, he tried to squeeze that idea to fit the biblical flood. It didn't work, though, as there were many different layers in fossil finds, rather than one layer as from a worldwide flood, and many layers weren't even horizontal! Cuvier argued for extinction but denied evolution. His other half, a rival named Lamark, argued for evolution but denied extinction. What fun!
Devastating Christian ideology, "...horrifyingly, bewilderingly, came a new possibility—God might be unconcerned. Tennyson [England's then most popular poet, who died in 1892] pondered, once again, the record of death and mayhem etched in the cliffs. He grew more disheartened still. For one steeped in the scientific literature of the day, like Tennyson, the images of prehistoric beasts in mortal combat were hard to shake. Nature was neither benevolent nor happy but soaked in blood. In a phrase destined to become one of the century’s most famous, Tennyson wrote of “Nature, red in tooth and claw.” The Victorians were being brutally wrenched from a rural lifestyle centuries old into the industrial age, and now from the very earth beneath them came another, even more violent upheaval; it had taken only 50 years from Wordsworth's "My heart leaps up when I behold/A rainbow in the sky" to Tennyson's unleashed anguish.
Author Dolnick takes wicked delight in lambasting the Victorians who kept trying to reinforce god the creator. There was Philip Gosse, a fundamentalist Christian, who invented a story that God made no mistakes but had carefully staged his scenery. "'Fossils only looked as if they were relics of
former lives. That was an illusion. In truth, fossils were “skeletons of animals that never really existed.' God had seeded the world with ready-made fossils, and careless thinkers had jumped to the conclusion that the world was old. Fossils were new artifacts made to look old, like pre-distressed jeans, and geologists had misunderstood what they were seeing." This is why Adam had a navel, although he was not born of woman, and why trees in Eden had rings, although they were made full-grown. (Gosse didn't address another apparent contradiction: there must've been other folk after Eden besides Adam and Eve, or the new, grotesquely inbred species wouldn't have survived; they did already know about not marrying cousins, after all.) Gosse called his treatise Omphalos, meaning "navel," after Adam's very own abdominal divot. He expected accolades that never came. "The findings of geology had grown too substantial to dismiss. Gosse’s pratfall brought him no allies...He had missed the boat. He had, in fact, dressed up in topcoat and tails, waved farewell to a crowd on the pier, stepped forward from the gangway, and then, to his own astonishment, found himself plummeting into the harbor depths."
Dolnick happily repeats this image of scientists failing and falling, one by one. Another example was made of Richard Owen, English biologist, comparative anatomist and paleontologist. "In meticulous detail, he compared the bones in a whale’s flipper, a mole’s paw, and a bat’s wing. Each “hand” had the same five fingers; each finger had the same three joints. That was surely not coincidence." Owen had come across the Fibonacci sequence and declared it God. "...[F]or the moment, all was well. Owen was at center stage, in effect, basking in applause, conspicuous in the spotlight, turning this way and that to acknowledge his admirers. He took a step forward and bent into an especially deep bow. He didn’t yet see that he was about to topple into the orchestra pit." These were passages I carried at my breast as I hounded my kin so I could read them aloud.
And then--Darwin. "As soon as Darwin stepped into the open, the cozy assumptions that they had long endorsed—that the world was orderly and presided over by a benevolent deity who had a special fondness for humankind—were blasted into rubble." A shy, quiet man who disliked the spotlight, he really didn't want to publish his work; he knew the maelstrom that would follow, as had France's Sun King, Louis XIV, who famously said while dying in one of his many cavernous beds of solid gold (he also had a solid gold duck blind with ample room for visitors, food & drink), "Aprés moi, le deluge!" ("After me, the flood!" What followed was the French Revolution, by a populace starved to pay for his excesses.)
"The history of life, Darwin showed, was less a noble progression than a drunken stagger. Darwin detonated his bombshell, On the Origin of Species, in 1859. The basic idea was simple. There are not enough seats at the table. Every living organism has no choice but to join in a high-stakes game of musical chairs. With so many competitors, even the smallest advantage—ever so slightly sharper elbows, a smidgen quicker reflexes—might prove crucial. And since the game goes on forever, round after round, any advantage that is inherited might ratchet up, and in time the descendants of the first competitors might come to look vastly different from their ancestors."
Crucially, the system ran by itself, guided by the few simple rules of musical chairs (“Everyone must play,” “The music never stops,” and so on). No one was in charge. In particular, God wasn’t in charge, or even in the picture. Critics howled, as Darwin had known they would. In 1844, years before he went public with the Origin, he had written a letter to a friend that hinted at his theory of evolution. “It is,” he wrote, “like confessing a murder.”
It's a conundrum many still face today, just as the highest Victorian minds failed to grasp it: how can there be design without a designer? Ya gotta feel for evangelicals who still don't get it.
Along the way, this book is everywhere limned with interesting facts. Did you know the sea is so salty that, if all of it was extracted and laid across all the land, it would be 500 feet thick?? (My daughter has sailed the sea and told me how much saltier it is at depths of 3,000+ feet, while at the shore where we paddle about, it is much less so. When years back I wrote on FB about rising seas in climate change, I was mansplained by a bunch of bearded dudes emphatically saying NO; by their facial hair, it was a coordinated attack. They'd all done a science project in 7th grade, they wrote, to measure whether melting ice added more to water. It doesn't, but the point of that effort was to show that water expands about 9% when frozen, and goes back to normal when thawed. The test for rising seas requires adding several teaspoons of salt to the glass of ice water. Eureka! BIG DIFFERENCE. Try both with your kids, they'll love it.)
There's the story of the Irish Giant Charles Byrne, 7'7" tall, who paid to be buried at sea to avoid being a museum display--along with a photo of him in the Hunterian Museum as Queen Elizabeth gazes with disinterest upon his skeleton. (I knew about this because I'd read that the museum decided to remove him from public display in 2023, since he'd fought so vehemently against it. Would that all museums would relinquish their human displays! Lookin' at YOU, Harvard.) Byrne had died at 22 of a pituitary tumor, which was also the cause of his height; he had been on public display for 225 years.
I also learned that how I was taught to define mammals is now really quite outdated. "A definition that focused exclusively on hair and milk would miss some mammals and gather in other animals that don’t belong. Some mammals are hairless or nearly hairless, like whales and dolphins. (Hair does rule an animal INTO the mammal club. [emphasis mine] No non-mammals have hair.) And some non-mammals, like spiders, feed their young on milk." Eew, the 'itsy bitsy spiders' of my childhood actually milk their moms?? Jeez louise. I learned there are 350,000 species of beetles. (Well, our dog loves leaping after June bugs, so ok. I guess.)
I learned that the Bible describes Leviathan as far more than your average whale: "Leviathan is 'crooked serpent' and 'the dragon that is in the sea,' we read in Isaiah, and in Job we hear of his 'scales' and 'terrible' teeth and learn that 'a flame goeth out of his mouth' and 'out of his nostrils goeth smoke.'" Quite fanciful, that, but not nearly as bizarre as the absolutely hallucinogenic Book of Revelation, on which MAGA evangelicals rely most! (This really should make the rest of us stand up and take note.)
Finally, I learned that "Ninety-nine percent of all the animal species that ever lived—not individuals but species—leave no trace whatever." It makes the imminent extinction of mankind in climate chaos another mere blip. "Out, out, brief candle!" likely wrote Edward de Vere, known universally as Shakespeare--we even get facts in the near past wrong. You can Google all the very famous folk in history scientists now think never existed at all--including Jesus.
One of the most riveting books I've ever read, with pictures at the end and many footnotes for the avid reader. Can I go 7 stars?? If you now consider you need not read it at all, because this review has been almost as long, I salute you--and also apologize. Next up: Dolnick's The Rescue Artist, his Edgar-winning true story of the theft and rescue of Edward Munch's The Scream.