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Dissonance
**Writer's Digest 33rd Annual Self-Published Book Awards - WINNER in Life Stories/Memoir**
Thirty-three-year-old Megan has the life she’s always a loving husband, two beautiful children, a meaningful career as a church music director, and most recently, her dream home. Then, she’s confronted with the news that her former high school band director has been arrested for child sexual abuse. The police are asking for anyone with information about the teacher to come forward, and Megan has plenty. But choosing to help the police means facing her own past, and that won’t be easy since she doesn’t believe she was a victim of abuse. Torn between two realities, Megan must find a way to resolve the dissonance within her before it’s too late. She must expose the truth before it destroys her.
Dissonance is a suspenseful and gripping account of unresolved trauma. With alternating timelines, the past becomes a breadcrumb trail, inviting readers to uncover clues that underscore the chaos unfolding in Megan’s present-day life. Dissonance is a glaring reminder that our childhood traumas weave themselves into the fabric of our adulthood—and if we don’t seek to understand their hold on our lives, they just might unravel us.
"Dissonance is a courageous and riveting exploration of childhood sexual trauma, and how it reverberates into adulthood with devastating aftershocks... This unforgettable book is a must-read for those who cannot imagine the web of bewilderment, guilt, and helplessness that ensnares victims — and it will inspire survivors who long to reclaim their lives." (Stephen Mills, author of A Memoir of Stolen Boyhood)
“Bridging the divide between past and present, consent and exploitation, Megan Farison invites the reader into a powerful story of redemption and healing.” (Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD, author of the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—And How to Find Our Way Back()
"...a knothole into an Escher-like depiction of how grooming erodes our foundational understanding of trustworthy connection. Megan reveals the disorienting impact of child sexual abuse and the enduring confusion while simultaneously illustrating a love of family and self-compassion too often absent in a survivor’s narrative. Through her authentic writing, Megan emphasizes that, while abuse is a piece of her history, love is the heart of this book.” (Anna Sonoda, author of Duck Duck How a Child Becomes a Target)
Thirty-three-year-old Megan has the life she’s always a loving husband, two beautiful children, a meaningful career as a church music director, and most recently, her dream home. Then, she’s confronted with the news that her former high school band director has been arrested for child sexual abuse. The police are asking for anyone with information about the teacher to come forward, and Megan has plenty. But choosing to help the police means facing her own past, and that won’t be easy since she doesn’t believe she was a victim of abuse. Torn between two realities, Megan must find a way to resolve the dissonance within her before it’s too late. She must expose the truth before it destroys her.
Dissonance is a suspenseful and gripping account of unresolved trauma. With alternating timelines, the past becomes a breadcrumb trail, inviting readers to uncover clues that underscore the chaos unfolding in Megan’s present-day life. Dissonance is a glaring reminder that our childhood traumas weave themselves into the fabric of our adulthood—and if we don’t seek to understand their hold on our lives, they just might unravel us.
"Dissonance is a courageous and riveting exploration of childhood sexual trauma, and how it reverberates into adulthood with devastating aftershocks... This unforgettable book is a must-read for those who cannot imagine the web of bewilderment, guilt, and helplessness that ensnares victims — and it will inspire survivors who long to reclaim their lives." (Stephen Mills, author of A Memoir of Stolen Boyhood)
“Bridging the divide between past and present, consent and exploitation, Megan Farison invites the reader into a powerful story of redemption and healing.” (Dr. Ingrid Clayton, PhD, author of the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—And How to Find Our Way Back()
"...a knothole into an Escher-like depiction of how grooming erodes our foundational understanding of trustworthy connection. Megan reveals the disorienting impact of child sexual abuse and the enduring confusion while simultaneously illustrating a love of family and self-compassion too often absent in a survivor’s narrative. Through her authentic writing, Megan emphasizes that, while abuse is a piece of her history, love is the heart of this book.” (Anna Sonoda, author of Duck Duck How a Child Becomes a Target)
176 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 25, 2024
10 people are currently reading
39 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
November 29, 2024
To preface this review, some background: I went to school with Megan and was two years ahead of her in high school. I can’t play any instrument to save my life and was never in band, while everyone knew how musically talented she was. But so many of my friends were in band and marching band, including my then-boyfriend, who was a senior when Chris Blackmer became the band director after a much-beloved and excellent human being resigned the position to pursue dreams of medical school instead of teaching, so she and I overlapped a lot. We both had done theater, and we both were in the advanced classes growing up, so we had had a lot of the same teachers. She was more a friend of several of my friends but she was someone whose company I enjoyed when I did interact with her. She was funny and smart and kind.
Unlike Megan, who was groomed and charmed by Blackmer’s intentional actions, from an outsider’s perspective, I saw an adult who seemed capricious in his actions. While some of that view may have been perverted by the changes and shake-ups he made to the band program in his early days of teaching and the negative effect they had on my then-boyfriend, I also feel like I noticed some bad vibes from him that I could never have put words to.
Blackmer was very cold and harsh toward the male students and definitely seemed to favor female ones. If you weren’t a band student, he didn’t have the time of day for you, which was odd because most teachers were still pleasant toward students even if they didn’t have them in class. The few times I had to interact with him left me feeling uneasy for reasons I couldn’t have articulated then and probably still can’t explain. There was merit to the rumors Megan mentions in her memoir that she was surprised to learn about as an adult; I remember back then friends whispering about how Blackmer was a little too close to Megan when I was a senior (she would have been a sophomore). Yet as editor-in-chief of the school’s yearbook, I approved the layout of that spread that includes the photo and caption Megan references in her memoir. It appears in black and white in the yearbook, but I can see the color version of it in my mind as it appeared on the computer program we used to design the layouts. Reading that part of the memoir was a gut punch for me, because I know at least 6 students and one teacher-advisor saw that photo, and none of us thought anything of how close he was standing to her or that his arm was around her, we just thought it was an excellent photo to memorialize one of the star members of the marching band.
Megan’s memoir is a chilling look into the insidious nature of abuse perpetrated by persons of authority. We still have much to learn in 2024, but the fact that we as a society have come far enough that she is able to write her story in a published memory is a positive sign that we are evolving. Hopefully we as members of a community can see these things as they are happening and step in then; hopefully we can raise our children to know that sexual harassment and abuse comes in many forms, and they can arrive from even the closest people to them. Hopefully we can provide grace and healing to those who have suffered.
Megan, I am beyond proud of you for sharing your story and for having the bravery to heal. You have a huge community of Hornets behind you.
Unlike Megan, who was groomed and charmed by Blackmer’s intentional actions, from an outsider’s perspective, I saw an adult who seemed capricious in his actions. While some of that view may have been perverted by the changes and shake-ups he made to the band program in his early days of teaching and the negative effect they had on my then-boyfriend, I also feel like I noticed some bad vibes from him that I could never have put words to.
Blackmer was very cold and harsh toward the male students and definitely seemed to favor female ones. If you weren’t a band student, he didn’t have the time of day for you, which was odd because most teachers were still pleasant toward students even if they didn’t have them in class. The few times I had to interact with him left me feeling uneasy for reasons I couldn’t have articulated then and probably still can’t explain. There was merit to the rumors Megan mentions in her memoir that she was surprised to learn about as an adult; I remember back then friends whispering about how Blackmer was a little too close to Megan when I was a senior (she would have been a sophomore). Yet as editor-in-chief of the school’s yearbook, I approved the layout of that spread that includes the photo and caption Megan references in her memoir. It appears in black and white in the yearbook, but I can see the color version of it in my mind as it appeared on the computer program we used to design the layouts. Reading that part of the memoir was a gut punch for me, because I know at least 6 students and one teacher-advisor saw that photo, and none of us thought anything of how close he was standing to her or that his arm was around her, we just thought it was an excellent photo to memorialize one of the star members of the marching band.
Megan’s memoir is a chilling look into the insidious nature of abuse perpetrated by persons of authority. We still have much to learn in 2024, but the fact that we as a society have come far enough that she is able to write her story in a published memory is a positive sign that we are evolving. Hopefully we as members of a community can see these things as they are happening and step in then; hopefully we can raise our children to know that sexual harassment and abuse comes in many forms, and they can arrive from even the closest people to them. Hopefully we can provide grace and healing to those who have suffered.
Megan, I am beyond proud of you for sharing your story and for having the bravery to heal. You have a huge community of Hornets behind you.
August 20, 2025
I met Megan through community theater in Midland, so when I saw her Facebook posts sharing her story, and eventually that she had written a memoir, I knew I wanted to support her by buying her book, reading it, and leaving an honest review.
Megan masterfully shares the grooming process she experienced at the hand of her high school band teacher and how the trauma and abuse carried into her adult life, in ways she wasn’t aware of. She takes the reader through what she faced in her healing journey and the legal process of helping the police with the case against him. She is incredibly brave in sharing her story.
On top of sharing her experience to help others who may have experienced something similar, she is an excellent writer. She writes with clarity, emotion, and the inner monologue you need to hear to better understand someone who has been victim to this kind of abuse. The back and forth in the timeline was very well done, and brings young Megan and adult Megan together for the reader in a meaningful way. She is able to plant the seeds of the grooming process to show the reader how subtle it can be, yet how intentional it actually is.
I applaud Megan for taking on the daunting task of putting her abuse to page in an effort to help others!
Megan masterfully shares the grooming process she experienced at the hand of her high school band teacher and how the trauma and abuse carried into her adult life, in ways she wasn’t aware of. She takes the reader through what she faced in her healing journey and the legal process of helping the police with the case against him. She is incredibly brave in sharing her story.
On top of sharing her experience to help others who may have experienced something similar, she is an excellent writer. She writes with clarity, emotion, and the inner monologue you need to hear to better understand someone who has been victim to this kind of abuse. The back and forth in the timeline was very well done, and brings young Megan and adult Megan together for the reader in a meaningful way. She is able to plant the seeds of the grooming process to show the reader how subtle it can be, yet how intentional it actually is.
I applaud Megan for taking on the daunting task of putting her abuse to page in an effort to help others!
April 29, 2025
Disclaimer: I was privileged to work with the author on a draft of her memoir in 2023. My review of this book would be just as glowing if I had not worked with her.
The first line of Megan Farison’s gripping memoir reads, “It was as if the house and I were grieving together.” A house in disarray surrounds her: stacks of mail, crusty plates, torn up carpet, unpacked boxes. Thirty-three-year-old Megan is seven months into grappling with her former high school band director’s arrest for child sexual abuse. An arrest that changed her reality, as the police asked for anyone with information to come forward, and Megan has so much of it. Years of information. But she never had to associate words like “abuse”, “rape”, “predator”, and “victim” with her past experiences. Not until now. And this upheaval of her past, her identity, her present, and what it all means for her future has taken its toll.
One of Megan’s gifts as a writer is her ability to encapsulate big, impossibly painful feelings into compact, simple, crisp statements and images that provide clarity – like the stacks of mail and torn up shag carpet which make her grief tangible from the get go.
Indeed, her clear-headed and straightforward voice is a crucial one for navigating the uneven terrain of this story and larger conversations surrounding educator sexual abuse, grooming, and the lasting impacts of childhood trauma. With two interwoven timelines (high school in the 2000s and the “present” starting in 2019), Megan-the-memoirist orchestrates a story in which readers are immersed, seemingly without intervention from the author, into the world of Megan-as-child and Megan-as-adult-survivor. The resulting story is like watching a film. No, it feels closer than that. Realer. It’s like being there with Megan. Even though I’ve read this book thrice now, it’s as immersive as it was the first time I read a draft of the puzzle pieces (to borrow another of those crisp images from Megan) that eventually became this stunning whole.
Readers wade through her experiences without the answers spoonfed to us, without her telling us that it’s going to work out. Yet, the existence of the book means there’s hope, a way through. Megan is an expert guide through this nonlinear path, her voice an anchor that reminds me, each time I read this work, that we’re going to make it. Somehow. This is an impressive feat that Megan pulls off with grace and skill.
This memoir is a must read that combines gripping, well-paced storytelling with an unfiltered depiction of trauma and a strong message of love and hope. I’d also recommend checking out Megan’s other work, including her podcast Sing, Coach, Conduct to learn more about grooming, healing, and other important topics.
The first line of Megan Farison’s gripping memoir reads, “It was as if the house and I were grieving together.” A house in disarray surrounds her: stacks of mail, crusty plates, torn up carpet, unpacked boxes. Thirty-three-year-old Megan is seven months into grappling with her former high school band director’s arrest for child sexual abuse. An arrest that changed her reality, as the police asked for anyone with information to come forward, and Megan has so much of it. Years of information. But she never had to associate words like “abuse”, “rape”, “predator”, and “victim” with her past experiences. Not until now. And this upheaval of her past, her identity, her present, and what it all means for her future has taken its toll.
One of Megan’s gifts as a writer is her ability to encapsulate big, impossibly painful feelings into compact, simple, crisp statements and images that provide clarity – like the stacks of mail and torn up shag carpet which make her grief tangible from the get go.
Indeed, her clear-headed and straightforward voice is a crucial one for navigating the uneven terrain of this story and larger conversations surrounding educator sexual abuse, grooming, and the lasting impacts of childhood trauma. With two interwoven timelines (high school in the 2000s and the “present” starting in 2019), Megan-the-memoirist orchestrates a story in which readers are immersed, seemingly without intervention from the author, into the world of Megan-as-child and Megan-as-adult-survivor. The resulting story is like watching a film. No, it feels closer than that. Realer. It’s like being there with Megan. Even though I’ve read this book thrice now, it’s as immersive as it was the first time I read a draft of the puzzle pieces (to borrow another of those crisp images from Megan) that eventually became this stunning whole.
Readers wade through her experiences without the answers spoonfed to us, without her telling us that it’s going to work out. Yet, the existence of the book means there’s hope, a way through. Megan is an expert guide through this nonlinear path, her voice an anchor that reminds me, each time I read this work, that we’re going to make it. Somehow. This is an impressive feat that Megan pulls off with grace and skill.
This memoir is a must read that combines gripping, well-paced storytelling with an unfiltered depiction of trauma and a strong message of love and hope. I’d also recommend checking out Megan’s other work, including her podcast Sing, Coach, Conduct to learn more about grooming, healing, and other important topics.
January 24, 2025
Wow.
I was recommended this book by the daughter of a friend of Megan’s. I am glad I read it.
This memoir puts into perspective the feelings and thoughts of a victim of grooming and sexual abuse by an adult educator. This was real and raw and admittedly hard to read at times. Also I can’t rate this like a novel because this is someone’s real life. I’ll be honest I didn’t like some of the content of the book or some of the choices the author made. However, it was very well written! It helped to put me into Megan’s mind and understand why she made the choices she did. I would recommend to anyone who can handle the sad true realities of our world.
I was recommended this book by the daughter of a friend of Megan’s. I am glad I read it.
This memoir puts into perspective the feelings and thoughts of a victim of grooming and sexual abuse by an adult educator. This was real and raw and admittedly hard to read at times. Also I can’t rate this like a novel because this is someone’s real life. I’ll be honest I didn’t like some of the content of the book or some of the choices the author made. However, it was very well written! It helped to put me into Megan’s mind and understand why she made the choices she did. I would recommend to anyone who can handle the sad true realities of our world.
December 4, 2024
Disclaimer: I attended Central Michigan University alongside the author and she is a friend; also, I backed it on Kickstarter.
This is an extremely well-written account of the author's experiences being abused by her high school band director. I want to start this review by praising how much work Megan put into communicating what she went through - her descriptions of places, lighting, her thoughts and emotions, all put me directly into her story, so thoroughly that even though I'm her friend and knew how some of this turned out for her, the prologue immediately filled me with dread for what she might be about to go through.
This was, I must admit, a deeply unpleasant read for me - no one, I think, could enjoy reading about a friend enduring this level of trauma. But what I found here goes well beyond that. This is also a book about how we often fail to recognize what is going on around us, fail to help or support friends and family in the ways they need, how we can do better. This is also a book full of wonderfully evocative description. My only complaint is that, in making this a book about her marriage and parents as much as it is about the abuse, I think she may have underrepresented how much she herself grew as a result of her own good choices, that there was more to her healing than the help and intervention others gave her (as important as those things were).
And at the same time, she is right to focus on the help others did or didn't give her. There was so much her friends and parents could have done differently that could have stopped the abuse much earlier. There are so many things we can do in our communities to spare others this kind of suffering in the future. This book is ultimately a strong call to action for all of us, one that I very much recommend to anyone reading this review.
This is an extremely well-written account of the author's experiences being abused by her high school band director. I want to start this review by praising how much work Megan put into communicating what she went through - her descriptions of places, lighting, her thoughts and emotions, all put me directly into her story, so thoroughly that even though I'm her friend and knew how some of this turned out for her, the prologue immediately filled me with dread for what she might be about to go through.
This was, I must admit, a deeply unpleasant read for me - no one, I think, could enjoy reading about a friend enduring this level of trauma. But what I found here goes well beyond that. This is also a book about how we often fail to recognize what is going on around us, fail to help or support friends and family in the ways they need, how we can do better. This is also a book full of wonderfully evocative description. My only complaint is that, in making this a book about her marriage and parents as much as it is about the abuse, I think she may have underrepresented how much she herself grew as a result of her own good choices, that there was more to her healing than the help and intervention others gave her (as important as those things were).
And at the same time, she is right to focus on the help others did or didn't give her. There was so much her friends and parents could have done differently that could have stopped the abuse much earlier. There are so many things we can do in our communities to spare others this kind of suffering in the future. This book is ultimately a strong call to action for all of us, one that I very much recommend to anyone reading this review.
April 28, 2025
I read "Dissonance" at the recommendation of a friend who connected me to Megan herself. I am a seasoned educator with three higher-ed degrees. My first year of teaching was in my home city in the same calendar year it experienced a nationally-recognized tragedy.
This book forced me to reflect on my thinking and challenge everything I perceived I did correctly in keeping students "safe (for now)" as their educator.
Megan's story is a blend of anguish, peril, poignance, and resilience. It will give you "all of the feels" as Megan shares her soul so openly. I highly recommend this text for anyone who works either in classrooms (of all kinds, including university) and children/students of all ages.
This book forced me to reflect on my thinking and challenge everything I perceived I did correctly in keeping students "safe (for now)" as their educator.
Megan's story is a blend of anguish, peril, poignance, and resilience. It will give you "all of the feels" as Megan shares her soul so openly. I highly recommend this text for anyone who works either in classrooms (of all kinds, including university) and children/students of all ages.
December 2, 2024
inspiring
Megan Farison’s Dissonance is a stunningly honest and vivid memoir that grips you from start to finish. With remarkable detail, Farison shares her life’s most challenging moments, offering a raw and eye-opening exploration into her life
Her unflinching honesty and powerful storytelling make this memoir unforgettable. Dissonance isn’t just a book—it’s an experience that will challenge and inspire readers long after the final page. Highly recommend!!
Megan Farison’s Dissonance is a stunningly honest and vivid memoir that grips you from start to finish. With remarkable detail, Farison shares her life’s most challenging moments, offering a raw and eye-opening exploration into her life
Her unflinching honesty and powerful storytelling make this memoir unforgettable. Dissonance isn’t just a book—it’s an experience that will challenge and inspire readers long after the final page. Highly recommend!!
June 4, 2025
This was a fast read for me because kept wanting / wishing for things to get better for the protagonist, despite all the obstacles in her way.
It had been on my bookshelf for a while waiting to be read & it was great. At times it dragged a little, but that’s how healing goes. I was especially impressed by the husband, Ian, & how he was portrayed as loving, kind, patient through it all. Kudos to writing & sharing such a story!
It had been on my bookshelf for a while waiting to be read & it was great. At times it dragged a little, but that’s how healing goes. I was especially impressed by the husband, Ian, & how he was portrayed as loving, kind, patient through it all. Kudos to writing & sharing such a story!
January 2, 2025
Very good, but at times hard read(emotions). Very courageous of Megan to share this story. Highly recommend reading this.
January 21, 2025
When I was a student teacher, I was sexually harassed by my cooperating teacher, a man who was at the time president of the statewide professional organization for instrumental music teachers. This story rang so true to me that for much of the time I was reading it, I was shaking.
There are plenty of things in the book that-- were it a fictional story-- are frustrating. Just as you think Farison has sorted out what happened--abuse! abuse!-- she reverts to a kind of teenage-girl fantasy and contacts her abuser. This happens again and again and again. You wonder why she can't see what is so very obvious to the reader, of this meticulously told tale: she's being scammed and gaslighted by a very bad person.
However. It's not fiction. It's a messy, confusing and ultimately unfinished story, just another #metoo narrative where the victim wants to be... something (good? loved? special?) and falls victim to emotional predation. The fact that her abuser is a band director is thoroughly unsurprising to me (also a band director).
There are plenty of flaws in the book, but for me, it was unmissable.
There are plenty of things in the book that-- were it a fictional story-- are frustrating. Just as you think Farison has sorted out what happened--abuse! abuse!-- she reverts to a kind of teenage-girl fantasy and contacts her abuser. This happens again and again and again. You wonder why she can't see what is so very obvious to the reader, of this meticulously told tale: she's being scammed and gaslighted by a very bad person.
However. It's not fiction. It's a messy, confusing and ultimately unfinished story, just another #metoo narrative where the victim wants to be... something (good? loved? special?) and falls victim to emotional predation. The fact that her abuser is a band director is thoroughly unsurprising to me (also a band director).
There are plenty of flaws in the book, but for me, it was unmissable.
May 5, 2025
A deep dive into one girl’s struggle with abuse, recognizing it, and coming to terms with how it has shaped her life. Courage shines through every word.
The non-linear structure revealed bits of truth at exactly the right moment to propel the story. It pushed the narrative to its edge and kept me on the edge of my seat. Creative transitions make jumps in time feel natural and keep story flowing at the right pace. Very well written!
The non-linear structure revealed bits of truth at exactly the right moment to propel the story. It pushed the narrative to its edge and kept me on the edge of my seat. Creative transitions make jumps in time feel natural and keep story flowing at the right pace. Very well written!
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews