My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating

by Philip William Stover

It’s hard to prove Mom wrong when she’s found Mr. Right...

Dumped by his boyfriend and stuck in an unfulfilling job, jaded NYC ghostwriter Sam Carmichael can’t be more miserable. Until the eve of his thirty-fifth birthday when his mother, Gloria, arrives with a present from the past.

Years ago, exasperated by Gloria’s matchmaking, Sam promised his mother that if he wasn’t coupled up by thirty-five, he would do whatever she wanted to find a boyfriend. Sam was joking; his mother was not.

Gloria swoops in creating new dating profiles, re-doing his wardrobe, and setting him up with a parade of bizarre matches. When his mom zeros in on sexy and passionate artist, Finn Montgomery, Sam intends to prove her wrong and stop her interfering for good. But when it comes to finding love, does mother really know best?

Readers love Philip William Stover's funny, heartwarming, inclusive

‘What a gorgeous, gorgeous book. Funny, warm and touching.' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

‘I loved it!... The story is warm and affectionate and includes lots of diverse characters.’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

‘The author's love for New York shines through. Warm and witty with some laugh out loud moments, this is a book I'll read again.’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

‘This book made my heart sing. If you’re a fan of rom-coms and makeovers…then this book will probably make your heart sing, too.’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

‘A wonderful Rom Com packed with characters from the LGBTQIA+ Community and is the epitome of a feel good read!’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

‘A heartwarming little romance book…The drag queens steal the show.’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Reader Review

Genres: Romance, Contemporary, Audiobook, LGBT, Humor, Fiction, Queer

354 pages, Paperback

Published October 24, 2024

About the author

Philip William Stover splits his time between Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and New York City. He has an MFA in writing and is a clinical professor at New York University.

As a freelance journalist, his essays and reviews have appeared in Newsday, the Forward, the Tony Awards, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, the Houston Chronicle, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and other national publications. For many years he ghosted for an international best-selling women’s fiction author. He has published multiple middle-grade novels for Simon & Schuster and was the American Theater critic for About.com.

He grew up tearing the covers off the romance novels he devoured so he wouldn’t get teased at school. Now he enjoys traveling the world with his husband of over twenty years and would never consider defacing any of the books he loves.

He can be found on social media as Philip William Stover.

Adult fiction:
https://www.philipwilliamstover.com

Middle-grade fiction:
http://www.tweenink.com

Reviews

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

A new author to me, Philip William Stover offers a m34m romcom where an overbearing mother decided whom her son should date, in his latest release, My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating. I enjoyed parts of the book and I liked the main character. But his mother was just too over-the-top with her intimate questions and knowledge about her son's sex life and the LGBTQ realm. It made for squirmy and hilarious moments, but as a result, it also made me feel too removed from Sam as a man searching for love. I think the humor in this occasion made me unable to see any heat and feel the same desire to see him happily coupled up. But the story was interesting, and the dialog had some great moments. Slow in some areas, a bit of excess in the middle. I ended up with an average rating but I'd definitely read another book to see if it's just the one novel and overall difference in author/reader style. Give it a chance tho - lots of strong moments.

[Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

Freud would have a field day reading this

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s hard to prove Mom wrong when she’s found Mr. Right. Dumped by his boyfriend and stuck in an unfulfilling job, jaded ghostwriter Sam Carmichael can’t be more miserable. Until the eve of his thirty-fifth birthday when his mother, Gloria, arrives with a present from the past.
This is the second book that I have read by this author, and I can't say enough good things about his writing or his characters.

There are a couple of characters that you will find yourself rooting for through the entire story...and they do end up finding their happiness at the end, however this book is so much more than that.

This is foremost about self-acceptance and self-confidence. It's about putting yourself out there and believing in what you can do and who you are and who you can be. Our main character, Sam, is surrounded by a group of people who all see how much he's worth, how wonderful he is, and how much potential he has to realize his dreams. But unfortunately, Sam is the only one who doesn't see it, and worst of all, he doesn't believe for one minute...that he deserves it. We all should know, and Sam has yet to learn, that until you can love yourself, you can't expect anyone else to love you...well except your mom.

Sam's Mom Gloria, or Glory, loves him. She is a wonderful mother. I had so many laughs (my husband say they were snorts...but what does he know?)...all because of Gloria. She is "authentic", for lack of a better description. She's that mother that we all know, and hopefully all have been blessed to have, (I certainly was). There are so many relatable things that she says and does, that sounded exactly like my mother. She is also one of the FIERCEST advocates for equality and acceptance that I have ever encountered in real life or in literary life. At the end of the day, Sam is her son, and she loves him unconditionally. She does everything she can to demonstrate and advocate for who he is and that he has the right to love whoever he wants, without judgement from anyone. Not only is she an advocate for the LGBTQA+ community, but she is also a strong fighting ally.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who might be in need of a reminder to love themselves and accept others without judgement...or just could use a good laugh.

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 4 out of 5]

POV: You promised your mom (at 15) that if your 35th birthday found you single, you'd let her take over your love life and you'd follow ALL her rules.

Then it works 😂😂😂😂

Imagine how insufferable she'd be after that💀

Remember the time I found the love of your life in 3 months after you'd tried and failed for like 20 years? Trust me, I know what's best.

Now, I KNOW that a big part of why I loved Sam's mom in this is because I just read a book where the MC's mom let him down so spectacularly, so everyone's mileage may vary, BUT....🙈

I loved Sam's mom in this. She DEFINITELY crosses a lot of boundaries, CONSISTENTLY, but she just loves her son so so much and so so loudly that you can't help giggle at the obvious embarrassment it causes him.

She's clearly so excited at the once in a lifetime chance to choreograph every facet of her son's dating life.

Getting a first year law student to confirm to Sam that the contract he wrote at 15 was enforceable? Check.

Getting to pick the men he goes on dates with? What they'll do? Where they'll go? Check.

Telling him what to order on dates? No dairy! For either of you💀. Check.

Telling him he needs to mind his fiber intake because she hears it helps with bottoming? 😂💀Check.

Pushing him to the edge of insanity, shoving him over and grabbing him just in the nick of time only to tell him, 'I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I WANT YOU TO FIND SOMEONE!' so he can't stay mad at her? Check.

I also loved this because it reminds me so much of those early 2000s romcoms where the girl is trying to find love and she's willing to consider everyone EXCEPT the person who's a clear good match for them.

Only to end up catching up to what the rest of the world was seeing in the end, anyway.

And Sam's not perfect. He spends a lot of time chasing someone that's made a career out of running from him instead of walking hand in hand with the one who's standing there, literally hand outstretched.

But he gets there, eventually.

With a LOT of help from his mom.

Don't let other moms get a hold of this. They might unionize.

[Michael Hurlimann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is what I want from romantic novels!

I really connected to Sam, his struggles and his personality and his love for all things classical Hollywood. His relationship with Paul was very recognizable and his romance with Finn was beautifully built up.

Reading this book felt like a warm hug - like a breath of fresh air. It was so nice to read a queer love story that was not YA, and that grappled with real questions of what community means and what it means to be oneself.

Omar, Glory, Kai and co were a delightful bunch of side characters and despite it being the soft, comforting world of a rom-com, it fely very real. Glory reminded me of a mix of the Golden Girls and the mum from Queer as Folk. I also really enjoyed the elements of craft and arts that queer communities can really thrive in.

Some might say this book does hit you over the head with social justice and queer activism but quite frankly, I think it's something we can and should revel in, especially now.

Thank you Hera and Netgalley for the digital ARC.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you Hera for the ARC of MMRRFD in exchange for an honest review!

Sam Carmichael is less than thrilled when, upon his dumping, his overbearing mother recalls a promise that Sam previously made: if he’s yet to find the man for him by thirty-five, he will subject himself to his mother’s matchmaking and play by her rules. His mother, Gloria, is confident that she can find the perfect match for Sam. He’s less confident, but without much choice, he relents to her ways. Yet, is it possible that Gloria really knows him better than anyone? And could this be the push Sam really needs to find real, unattainable love?

There’s no denying that My Mother’s Ridiculous Rules for Dating is charming and an easy, pleasant read (and more than a good distraction during election times). Gloria is a Debbie Reynolds-esque icon come to life - silly and quippy and meddling. Sam falls more into the role of straight man (or straight gay man in this case), putting up with her nonsense with begrudging, reluctant adoration. There’s plenty of humor and heart here. It’s also saccharine sweet to the point of feeling like something Hallmark might adapt or put out. It could have had a stronger romantic heft to it, but at the end of the day, it’s more about mother, son and self. There’s nothing quite like a mother’s love; they say it’s endless, whether you like it or not.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great read. It kept me entertained throughout, often making me laugh out loud. The pace is fast and it's heavy on story and side characters. I would highly recommend to anyone wanting a lighter read that is still heartwarming and well-developed.

[Shelba]

DNF @ 37%.

There’s not much rom, and zero com in this romcom.

The narrator wasn’t really my cup of tea going into it, and he didn’t change my mind on that, but rather cemented it.

[Mystic DreamClouds · Rating 3 out of 5]

Special thanks to the author(s), publisher, Goodreads and/or NetGalley for the review copy. All views and opinions expressed are honest and my own.

A promise made as a kid to his mother, comes back to haunt Sam at thirty-five years of age. Sam, an ex-ghostwriter is not having the time of his life. Cheated on by his ex-boyfriend and working a job he does well but doesn’t like, Sam is struggling to find himself. Until he meets Finn Montgomery, his client who is not only perfect boyfriend material but also gets under Sam’s skin with a reality Sam doesn’t like. And let’s not forget his mother trying to set him up with a slew of people that is going not so good!

This was a fun and enjoyable story. Sam’s mother, Gloria or Glory is over-the-top at times but perfectly captures a meddling mother. I felt like she was a friend to Sam because although her questions were explicit and no-filter there was genuine care behind them. And there isn’t a shortage of fun characters like Glory in this story. Sam has surrounded himself with a lot of understanding, friendly, warm and diverse personalities.

I liked the concept of the dating rules, Glory imposed. I found it to be overbearing yet adorable how Glory was trying to help Sam in her own way. Sam’s lucky to have an understanding parent and I enjoyed his relationship with his mom and friends. I think they all helped contribute to the story by supporting Sam and making him feel comfortable. It was fun to read about Sam’s potential dates and his reactions after each one. Although they were an important part of the story, they weren’t overly exaggerated or shortened. They were just the right amount and the writing made them more entertaining.

I would have loved to see more with Finn and Sam. I felt like the world was against them because their relationship was constantly overshadowed. Sam and Finn had their ups and downs but ultimately they were able to resolve things by communicating and I loved how this book depicted it. Every time there was a chance they could be together and their relationship would grow, I was smiling like an idiot anticipating progress.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this story but it lacked romance for me. I fell in love with Sam and Finn’s characters and I really did want to read more about them together. This story felt like an ode to Sam and Glory’s relationship while finding yourself in a world that can be sometimes confusing. Nevertheless the support, love, diversity and warmth depicted in this story are wonderful and I do hope you give it a read.

Read more reviews @ Mystic's Review Shelf

[Monika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, it's time to admit that rom-coms aren't for me. But I had a lot of fun reading this one! I just don't think it's my type of book. Mostly because the things that should be endearing and romantic are annoying to me.

In the case of My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating, the annoying part is in the title... It's the mother of the main character Sam, Glory as she prefers to be called, who is just too much for me. She thinks her 35-year-old son is a child who needs her all the time; not only does she find him dates, but she also chooses what he has to wear and what he should talk about. There were moments when I thought that she hated Sam; she never listened to him, she never asked why he didn't believe in himself, and she never tried to understand his feelings. Even when Sam tries to explain, she ignores him. And I actually think that Finn helped Sam more than Glory. Because he was actually interested in him.

But while most scenes with Sam's mother were annoying, I still went through this book very quickly. And I loved Finn! I could feel the chemistry between him and Sam from their first scene together. There's also a whole cast of diverse supporting characters, all of them really lovely (except for Paul), and they could have a book of their own (or there could be a short stories book about Plant Daddy's workers and clients 😉). I was surprised that only a few of Sam's blind dates were described; I thought that there would be more of them. But I'm not complaining; it left more space for Sam as a character. He's very relatable, and his growth through the book was realistic and inspiring.

I could definitely see this book as a one-season TV show with every episode as a different date. And if you like rom-coms, then this book is for you. I think I will go back to reading queer romantasy for a while.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a digital copy of this book. 

[Karina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating, and I have a huge smile on my face. I'm not going to lie. It took me a hot minute to get into a rhythm with this book. Well, in reality, I never found my flow. Maybe I was in a reading slump, but I had to push myself to read it every day, something that doesn't usually happen. However, I am so glad that I read it all the way through.

It's categorized as a romance, but it's a romance with your own identity. Yes, there is a couple that you root for throughout the whole story, and they do end up finding their HEA in the end, but the book is so much more than that.

This book is about self-acceptance and self-confidence. It's about putting yourself out there and believing in what you can do and who you can be. Sam, our MC, is surrounded by a group of people who all see his worth, how wonderful he is, and the potential he has to achieve his dreams. Sam, unfortunately, is the only one who doesn't see it, and he doesn't believe he deserves it. Until you can learn to love yourself, you can't expect anyone else to love you.

Gloria, or Glory, is a wonderful mother. I had so many laugh-out-louds (literally snorting while I was laughing) because of her. First off, she is so authentic. She is that mother that we all know, hopefully all have. There are so many relatable things that she says and does. She is also a FIERCE advocate for equality and acceptance. At the end of the day, Sam is her son and she loves him unconditionally. She does everything she can to demonstrate and advocate for who he is, the right to love whoever you want, without judgement. Not only is she an advocate for the LGBTQA+, but she is also an ally.

I recommend this book to anyone who needs a reminder to love themselves and accept others or just wants a good laugh.

Thank you to NetGalley, Hera, and Canelo Publishing, and Philip William Stover for the opportunity to read this ARC copy.

[Diah · Rating 4 out of 5]

digital ARC was provided by Netgalley and Hera Books

Alright, let’s talk about My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating! I was super excited to dive in, and honestly, the beginning hooked me right away. Sam Carmichael is relatable, and his struggles with love and his overbearing mom, Gloria, felt real and hilarious at the same time.

I loved Sam—his dynamic with his mother was a highlight for me. Their interactions brought a lot of warmth and humor to the story. But then there's Finn, the important love interest. Honestly, I found it hard to connect with him. He felt kind of like a prop in Sam's journey rather than a full-fledged character. I really wanted more depth there.

On the flip side, the side characters, especially Omar, were fantastic! I appreciated the diverse representation, which added a refreshing layer to the story.

Now, I have to vent a bit about Sam's blindness when it came to love. I get it; sometimes you’re just a mess because of a guy, but it was frustrating to see him reduced to that.

As for the title, My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating, it didn’t quite capture the essence of the story for me. Yes, Gloria sets up some blind dates, but it felt more about the chaotic relationship between a mother and her son than dating rules.

One thing I’d definitely change? The length. The book could use a trim—it felt a bit too long in parts. And the ending? It was just... okay. I wanted a bit more punch!

Overall, I enjoyed the journey, even with its quirks. If you’re looking for a light read with some laughs and relatable moments, this one might just hit the spot!

[Alison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sam Carmichael had dreams of becoming an author, he even won a prestigious writing prize when he was younger. Unfortunately, things didn't pan out, he spent many years ghostwriting for a female romance author who just couldn't be bothered to write any more, but when she retired none of the publishers wanted him to continue writing in her style. Now he's working part-time in an advertising agency, toying with the idea of completely giving up on his dreams and becoming a full-time corporate 'normal'.

Since his aunt Shug died a year ago, Sam's mother Gloria has really struggled to find joy in life, so when she unearths a 'contract' Sam signed years ago in which he promised his mother that if he wasn’t coupled up by thirty-five, he would do whatever she wanted to find a boyfriend. Well guess what, he's thirty-five and single (after his much older boyfriend Paul went back to his husband) and Gloria is coming to make good on his promise.

I really liked the premise of this story but to me it didn't quite work. Sam's ex, Paul, was just too obviously a creep, Gloria set Sam up on some truly horrendous dates with some ghastly people - why? Even Sam's love interest seemed to delight in telling Sam what to do - he was too similar to Paul in that respect.

Overall, I suspect there is a bit too much autobiography in this and I didn't really find Sam a likeable character (although I did sympathise with him over the way everyone pushed him around 'for his own good').

I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley.

[hanbag · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was one of those books for me that was sitting at the 4-5 star mark right until the final third or so, where it went downhill.

I fully appreciate that this book might not be for everyone. If you want something believable, serious, or portraying stable, non-toxic familial relationships, maybe give this one a miss. I however, loved ALL of the aspects that might be off putting for others.

The set-up of the ‘dating rules’ and the relationship between Sam and his Mum was batshit and I had fun updating my friends on my reading progress. Was it particularly realistic? No. Did it have to be? No, because it was hilarious. Comedy doesn’t have to be realistic. Heck, romance doesn’t have to be realistic. Look at all these wildly successful fake dating stories (my favourite trope btw). If there’s a part where they draw up the ‘contract’ or lay out their ground rules, I’m gonna eat that up; imagine my joy when Sam’s mum set up a meeting to discuss terms of their arrangement with her ‘legal counsel’!

Another massive plus for this book is the diversity. Of course, it is gay, but it goes beyond that. We touch on intersectionality between gender identity, disability, sexuality, race and refugeeism for queer people. One of the supporting characters is a wheelchair user and we don’t learn this until maybe the third or fourth time they’re mentioned by the MC. Sam actually describes this person to another character at one point to help him find them and doesn’t even mention the chair; the disability isn’t the defining feature and that sort of detail felt special.

Unfortunately, Sam’s own exploration of his identity as a gay man is one of the areas that I felt was lacking. We experienced plenty of internal monologuing and butting of heads with his Mum on the subject, but I didn’t feel a resolution. I wasn’t entirely happy with the situation that resulted in any of Sam’s conclusions about himself to be honest, because they all centred on the actions of someone else instead of him naturally finding more confidence in himself.

The last thing that lowered my rating was the constant classic film references. I don’t think I understood a single one of those references. Now normally that wouldn’t bother me, I can accept the fact I just don’t know stuff and that’s okay, except for two details. Firstly, the arguments between characters about what important cultural implications these specific films have made me feel like I was being inadvertently shamed for being unfamiliar with these cornerstones of queer cinema. Secondly, Sam himself talks very early on about how his own writing got rejected for having outdated movie references that audiences didn’t resonate with. From that point on, every outdated reference felt too meta and as they increased I began to read the whole book as a massive self insert. I can see it was probably emphasising this picture of Sam as a classic old soul who really does think about old films all the time but I was just thinking, “these publishers are right, these references are alienating me”.

All that to say, I didn’t have a bad time with this book. It was good, but I had some issues with it that I can’t overlook, so it came out at 3 stars by the end.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Ulysses Dietz · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Mother’s Ridiculous Rules for Dating
Philip William Stover
Published by Hera, 2024
Five stars

This is the third of Philip William Stover’s books that I’ve read (the other two being his New Hope novels). All of them are proclaimed as romantic comedies, and (in my mind) all would make wonderful rom-com movies. This one, however, got an extra star for me because it resonated with me on a personal level. That’s because Stover taps into his own lived experience in special way for this story, and that emotional power echoes throughout, in spite of the nominally comic narrative.

Sam Carmichael is not an instantly lovable character. You need to look past the priggishness and the self-doubt to see the caring and generous-hearted man he really is. Fairly early on, you realize that the only person Sam doesn’t really like is himself. Given the overweening love and support of his retired schoolteacher mother, Gloria, it’s a surprise. Therein, for me, is the emotional complexity that makes the book really sing.

Sam is a writer, but doesn’t believe it. He’s made a good living ghost-writing women’s romance novels for a famous author; but at her retirement finds himself trapped in her writing style and by an NDA he signed. He’s beginning to consider that his part-time job writing ad copy for an irritatingly hip marketing firm as his only possible future path.

Then Sam is assigned to work with a New York art gallery to promote the work of Finn Montgomery, a rising young artist a few years younger than Sam. Unlike Sam, Finn has never had a supportive family; but also unlike Sam, Finn has somehow developed a very strong sense of self-respect. Sam doesn’t really see that he and Finn are alike in so many ways—because Finn loves himself and Sam doesn’t. It’s as simple, and as complicated, as that.

Likewise, Sam’s mother Gloria seems absurd at first—the author has done everything to make her almost cartoonish in her enthusiastic pro-gay, politically correct approach to everything. She is hilarious, and a character right out of a television sitcom. The sly surprise is that she is smarter and more devious than she appears, and her love for her son is as frustrated by his lack of self-acceptance as is the reader’s. We pretty quickly realize what Gloria Carmichael’s superpower is, and much of the joy in the book is trying to anticipate how she’s going to get where she wants to go.

Stover creates a romantically appealing New York, seen through the eyes of a kid who grew up in New Jersey’s close-in suburbs (where I and my husband have lived for 44 years). As an astute observer of the city and its mystique as a source of self-realization, Stover offers up the perfect setting for this oddly moving little epic of a young man learning to love himself the way his mother loves him.

Boy, would I love to see this made into a movie. Jonathan Bailey would play either Sam or Finn. Just saying. As a reader I identified with Sam, despite the fact that I’m probably his mother Gloria’s age, and I represent a previous generation. It always fascinates me that the struggle for self-acceptance goes on for gay men, and for the whole LGBTQA+ community.

[Jennifer (bunnyreads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not sure how this book got on my radar, it might have been the title (Amazon knows I’m a sucker for these fun titles and throws them at me constantly) but the premise and the cover were eye-catching with a fun vibe too. For whatever reason I snapped it up.

So, the summary says it all with no need for me to rehash.

My Mother's Ridiculous Rules For Dating is incredibly well-written with sharp, quick prose without too much in the way of unneeded baggage. The story was a bit hit and miss for me though, which made it feel a little slow at times. I think I expected more in the way of rom-com mad-capedness than there actually was - at least between the lead and his dates.

Sam’s mother on the other hand had plenty following her around, she injected the story with a whirl-wind of chaotic energy. Sometimes I found her to be a little annoying and uncomfortable in her no-barrier approach to everything about her son’s life, and those around her, but I’m a shyer kind of person who would be mortified to have that kind of openness about my sex life with my parent, or anyone outside my partner so there is that. I do know a lot of people like Sam’s mom though, and she rings true to them.

The group of friends around Sam are wonderful. The friend-group is one of the things I enjoy most in romcoms and I am disappointed when there isn’t at least one supportive person, Sam has quite a few around him, including his biggest supporter in his mom.

I am at the right age for all the nods to pop culture in My Mother's Ridiculous Rules For Dating that Sam drops- though some were a bit older than I am, I have been around long enough to recognize the references and I really enjoyed Sam's pov. Our personalities were very similar, so despite me not being a gay man, I understood him and his choices, wants, fears, regrets, etc. and found him quite relatable in everyway including his humour.

The story turned out to be little more uhm… maybe not serious, but thoughtful? in its identity and message than I was expecting. I was looking for straight-up fluff and humour and this was more socially aware and self-reflective growth kind of stuff. It does have some great talking points - everything from representation and the ways it matters, to stepping out of your comfort zone in life, love and career, and pushing you’re fears aside to pursue your dreams. I think gay or not, Sam’s struggle is something we all deal with at some point.

My Mother's Ridiculous Rules For Dating had a very lovely ending that has growth and happiness for Sam, without being saved by love, while still giving us, the reader (or at least this reader) what we wanted for him.

So while this story wasn't quite what I was looking for, I do think it will resonate with others - especially those looking for a little more substance and not just a straight-up cotton candy read. My Mother's Ridiculous Rules For Dating still have lots of warm and funny moments to make you smile too.

3.5 rounded up

[Cassandra Bivens · Rating 4 out of 5]

😂✨ My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating by Philip William Stover ✨😂

A heartwarming and hilarious romantic comedy that will make you laugh out loud and melt your heart!

🌟✨ Review: ✨🌟

My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating by Philip William Stover is a delightful rom-com that blends family meddling, quirky humor, and tender romance in a way that keeps you thoroughly entertained. The protagonist finds himself navigating his love life under the ever-watchful eye—and absurd dating rules—of his well-meaning but overbearing mother. Add in a swoon-worthy romantic interest and plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, and you’ve got a recipe for a lighthearted, feel-good read.

Stover’s writing is witty and engaging, with characters who are charmingly flawed and relatable. The dynamic between the protagonist and his mother is both endearing and exasperating, as she insists on applying her “rules” to his dating life, leading to plenty of comedic misadventures. The romance itself is sweet and slow-burn, building as the characters get to know each other beyond the surface.

This is a rom-com with heart, perfect for readers who enjoy stories about love, family, and finding your own path.

🌟 Highlights: 🌟

Hilarious Premise: The absurd dating rules imposed by the protagonist’s mother add a layer of comedy and chaos.
Sweet Romance: The slow-burn romance is tender and heartwarming, making you root for the characters.
Family Dynamics: The relationship between the protagonist and his mother is a central part of the story, providing both humor and heart.
💌 Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes, the best rule to follow is the one you make for yourself." - A perfect reflection of the book’s theme about charting your own course in love.

🌟 Rating: 🌟
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4 stars)

My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating is a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy with plenty of heart. Philip William Stover delivers a charming and funny story about love, family, and finding your way—while navigating a few ridiculous rules along the way!

See more reviews at:
Casla Reads

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*I received this book through NetGalley as an ARC reader. This will not in any way affect my thoughts or opinions on the book.*

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had an interesting blurb, so I requested it from Netgalley.

I kind of expected this to be a bit over the top, and while I liked the two MCs, Sam and Finn, I had some issues with Sam's overbearing, super intense mother. Her character was just a wee little bit on the side of icky - no mother needs to know this much about her son's love and sex life. I fully believed that Gloria/Glory loved her son, and only wanted the best for him, but her methods left a lot to be desired, IMHO. I could appreciate the dynamic between them, but on occasion it was just a little too much. I could see that she wanted to get to him a point where he could love himself, and see himself the way she saw him - as someone worthy of love, and someone who deserved good things.

Overall, this was an enjoyable read for the most part. There was lots of good dialogue, a lot of humor and things that made me giggle-snort, and I really liked how diverse the supporting cast was, and how well the author portrayed each of his characters. The book had many additional layers, such as gender identity, sexuality, race, immigration/refugee status, and even disability, without ever delving into preaching territory. These things were seamlessly woven into the narrative, not taking center stage, but also not being swept under the carpet, and I appreciated that. The emphasis was on Found Family, and I really enjoyed reading about these characters.

What ultimately cost the book a 4th star is that I never really bought the romance between Sam and Finn, and that may be because it's told entirely from Sam's POV, and we don't get a lot of insight into Finn at all. The book is written in the first person, present tense, which worked for me but may not be everyone's cup of tea. Sam is obviously also an unreliable narrator, and he misses a few things that are obvious to others.

Even though this only was a three star read for me, I would recommend this book as a fun rom-com. The hangups I had likely won't apply to everyone.


** I received a free copy of this book via Netgalley. Thank you to the publisher for granting me an ARC. **

[Louis (audiobookfanatic) · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Mother’s Ridiculous Rules For Dating is a hilarious and lighthearted queer romcom. The story follows Sam Carmichael, a 35-year-old former ghost writer, whose overbearing mother reminds him of a deal they made allowing her to play matchmaker for Sam should he be single at 35. As Sam secretly is planning a reconciliation with his older ex-boyfriend that his mother disapproves of, he entertains her dating rule antics and finds himself swept into a series of unfortunate blind dates. The story features several popular romance tropes, including age gap, slow-burn romance, friends to lovers, and forced proximity.

The characters in this book are quirky, charmingly flawed, and relatable, making for an entertaining read. The story is told from protagonist Sam’s perspective and is filled with his anxiety-ridden, hysterical funny inner monologues. Sam is mostly likeable but is also infuriating, as he often vocalizes his insecurities and has an obvious lack of self-belief, despite all his successes. His mother, Gloria, loves him immensely and wants the best for him but is so overbearing that she often becomes more of a hindrance than a help. There’s an abundance of funny banter between Sam and Gloria, especially with her unconventional meddling in Sam’s sex life and her being a highly vocal queer advocate who lacks a filter when she speaks. Finn, Sam’s client and potential love interest, is the only one to push Sam to challenge his belief systems and proclaim his self-belief. Their relationship is a slow-burn romance but not an overly convincing one. Firstly, they have vastly different mindsets—while both are immensely talented at their crafts, Finn has a contrasting calm confidence and self-awareness that Sam is poorly lacking. Secondly, they don’t spend enough time together in the story to make their romance believable—their first intimate scene is towards the end and is quickly cut short by another major plot point. As typical in romcoms, readers will have to somewhat suspend their disbelief at the end. On the positive side, Sam does demonstrate an enormous amount of self-growth in the book, with a few pleasing epiphanies towards the end.

The story also includes some important diversity, above the typical queer romcom spectrum. There’s representation and meaningful dialogue about gender identity, disability, sexuality, race, and queer refugeeism. None of these topics come across as preachy but instead are seamlessly woven into the characters’s backstories and a few key scenes of the book. The Author’s Note at the end of the story is very intriguing and heartfelt, as William Stover provides insight into how the book evolved from a heterosexual romance into a queer romcom and how his relationship with his late mother influenced the story.

Overall, My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating is a laugh-out-loud queer romcom with memorable characters and an engaging storyline. Narrator Daniel Henning does a spectacular job vividly bringing Sam, Gloria, and all the quirky side characters to life using a wide variety of distinct accents and voices and an entertaining, exuberant tone! Readers who love stories with mother-child relationships, family drama, funny banter, and romance will enjoy this book. If you’re new to Phillip William Stover’s work, this is a great book to get a feel for his witty and engaging writing style!

[thatbeccagirl_reads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Okay, imagine this: you're Sam Carmichael, a ghostwriter stuck in a job you hate, and your love life? A mess.
Then, on the eve of your 35th birthday, your mom shows up with a very unexpected gift: her ridiculous dating rules. Yep, Gloria, Sam’s over-the-top, no-filter mom, makes it her mission to find him a boyfriend—and it’s just as awkward and hilarious as it sounds.

I really liked Sam. He’s relatable, funny, and totally done with his mom's crazy matchmaking ways. But... Gloria? She’s the definition of an embarrassing parent. The way she pries into Sam's sex life? Cringe-worthy. But also kinda endearing, in a weird way. It’s clear she loves him, even if her methods are, um, extra.

The romance with Finn, had potential, but honestly, I needed more. The chemistry was there, but it felt like the book focused more on Sam and his mom’s journey than Sam and Finn’s. Still, their interactions were cute, and I was definitely rooting for them.

What I loved most was the diversity and the warmth of the characters. Sam’s friends were awesome, and they really helped balance out all of Gloria’s intense energy. It made the whole thing feel real and supportive.

Overall, it’s a fun, quirky romcom that’s more about family and self-discovery than grand romantic gestures. If you're in the mood for something light, funny, and full of heart (with a side of awkward mom moments), definitely give this one a shot.

I received an advance review copy from NetGalley for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Jessica H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Initial heads up for readers: this book is written in first-person present tense. If that bothers you, this may not be the book for you. It bothered me at first, but by the end I ignored it.

When I started this book, I wasn't sure I would be able to finish it. Sam's mom, Gloria (Glory) has such an intense personality, particularly when it comes to being mom to a gay son. While she doesn't really calm down, I felt more comforted by her as the story goes along. She's just a mom who loves her son and wants him to love himself.

Another part of this book I really liked was the Found Family. That trope is so important to me, and I know it's important to a lot of other queer people. Sam is constantly surrounded by people who love him and want the best for him. Yes, that includes his mother. But it also includes a fun cast of characters from the coffee shop he lives above.

The whole time, I was rooting against Sam's ex-boyfriend/sort-of boyfriend Paul. What an a**hole who uses Sam because he's young and good looking. I rooted for Something to happen with Finn the whole time. He truly wanted to get to know Sam and push past the walls he put up.

"I want to be with a guy who is honest with himself. Honest about who he is and what he wants."

If you can handle the initial intensity of Glory, the rest of the book is a page turner.

**I received an advance review copy for free from NetGalley, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.**

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been having some misses with ARCs lately, and I'm glad to say this wasn't one of them. Yes, the rom-com OTT-ness got to be a bit much for me at times, and I wanted to pitch Sam's mom out the window. But when this book was good, it was really, really good.

I highlighted several paragraphs in one scene, because they were so powerful. I'm not going to type them all in here. ;) But: "'Bragging is showing off to people or over-inflating yourself. This is not bragging. This is believing in yourself. There's a difference.'" That scene was gold.

I did wish the author had had Sam make his final choice without Paul turning up and showing himself (again) to be a horrible person. I wanted Sam to have the strength to make that choice by believing in himself (see above) rather than having it thrust on him.

The use of (some) British punctuation styles in a book set in New York was a bit odd, and there were plenty of typos that I hope will be fixed before publication. But what else is new?

If you can handle rom-com antics, I don't think you'll go wrong with this story.

My thanks to the publisher/NetGalley for an advance copy of this book.

[Atiksha K · Rating 5 out of 5]

*I received an ARC of this book, the review and all the thoughts are my own.

*This review does not contain any spoilers

*Please read the content warnings.

Pairing - MM
Genre- Romantic Comedy (Closed Door)
HEA/HFN - Yes
POV - Single First Person
Series - No

*Review*

This is a slow paced hallmark movie type of a romantic comedy. The focus is more on Sam's relationship with his mother and his group of friends than on his budding romance with Finn. Sam is stubbornly adamant that he feels nothing for Finn even though they are perfect for each other (just ask his mother) and trying to rebuild his relationship with his lying, cheating ex because he believes that things have changed now. Or at least he wants to believe that. There are multiple dialogues that will make you burst into laughter, mainly the dialogues between Sam and his mother. That woman would not know subtlety and boundaries if they smacked her in the face wearing rainbow makeup and a unicorn tiara. And I love her for it.

P.S. I follow the Montessori method, so my reviews are based on completion without ratings. If I didn’t like a book, I probably wouldn’t finish it and hence won’t review it.

[Jimmie Kirby · Rating 4 out of 5]

"My Mother's Ridiculous Rules for Dating" by Philip William Stover is an absolute joy—a rom-com that blends family drama, quirky humor, and heartfelt romance into a captivating read.

Sam’s journey of personal growth, supported by his friends and his well-meaning mother, is both touching and hilarious. His navigation of a difficult past relationship, aided by a swoon-worthy love interest, adds a delightful blend of warmth and humor.

Although the mother’s antics might occasionally be over-the-top and make you roll your eyes, she perfectly captures the essence of a meddling mom who genuinely wants the best for her son. Her relentless online research to support her queer son and his community adds a hilarious and endearing touch to her character.

What really stood out to me was the diverse group of characters around Sam, which many gay men will find both familiar and relatable.

Overall, this book is a wonderful mix of comedy and heart, showcasing how much growth is possible with a solid support system—if you’re willing to embrace it and believe in yourself.

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was going to dnf this a few chapters in until I realised it was the author of The Problem with Perfect which I loved. So persevered despite my two initial barriers: 1) that Sam’s mother is just way too much (there’s sweet overbearing and then there’s the freudian intervention into his fibre intake so he can bottom better?! Having him sit on her lap in his mid thirties? No). I was expecting her to get taken down a peg in the plot but it wasn’t that kind of family trauma unworking book (though don’t get me wrong, that in itself was actually quite refreshing for an lgbtq fic). Barrier 2) the MC is called Sam Carmichael. There is only one Sam Carmichael that has my heart and that is Pierce Brosnan’s character in Mamma Mia.
But overall aside from that some nice moments, and memorable side characters who are totally scene stealing (if to the detriment of MC; I wanted to be friends with Kai and Omar more than I wanted Sam to have a happy ever after, and no spoilers but I totally called who Omar would end up with)

[Heather Duff · Rating 4 out of 5]

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I really like the author’s writing style. It’s cheeky and engaging, and the premise of the story is fun and endearing.

Sam is likeable, and quite frankly, relatable. He hasn’t reached the milestones he expected to and he has a lot of self-doubts. It makes for a tumultuous time. Made even crazier by his mother. Doesn’t help that he’s a bit of a doormat.

Unfortunately, I wanted to set the mother a drift on a raft in the middle of the ocean. She was over the top and never once listened to Sam's wants & needs. I would have left the country if she was my mother.

The story had a number of wonderful side characters that brought a richness to the story.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Once I got past the crazy mother, the book was absolutely a delight. After a while, Gloria, the mom, actually became a very likable character. If you can deal with the amazing intrusions into her son's life, the book is basically a hoot. I found myself laughing out loud numerous times.

Sam is stuck in a mediocre life. He feels he has failed as an author, is settling for a job that doesn't excite him, and is a basically awful boyfriend that he feels fits the mold for a stable relationship.

Thankfully, his mom knows there is so much her son has to offer and pushes him to explore the possibilities. The book was a treat to read with a cast of quirky friends that I highly recommend. My only complaint is not his momma, but I would have liked to have seen more of Sam and Finn together. I felt we were teased with just a snippet, and I wanted so much more.

Special thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book for my reading pleasure.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

If there's one sorta quibble I have, it's that Finn is too cool, almost too perfect.. That said, I kept picturing Jonathan Bailey but with a New Orleans accent. Make of that what you will.
I quite like Sam as a MC, tho I 'm sure there's plenty of people who will find Sam rubs them the wrong way. I get the feeling, however, that it will be many of those traits that I find most relatable in Sam. Gloria feels too often like a carbon-copy of Debbie from Queer As Folk and I wish we had gotten more of her depth/nuance earlier in the story.

Yes it's predictable, but it's also fun and for that it's definitely recommended.

*I received a free copy from netgalley in exchange for an honest review

[Fleurtje Eliza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Someone in a wheelchair was casually mentioned and I was pumping the air! I love it when marginalized people are being part of the cast without it being a theme. This has nothing to do with being political correct, but everything with being open-minded. It is ridiculous that I even feel the need to explain this, but for the sake of the thought of being kind and paying it forward.

Anyway, Sam is lots of things and one of them is his need to act like a grownup. For which I felt like shaking him, but there we are: expectations... of ourselves and of others.
Sometimes you need a bit of help from someone else to see how wonderful you yourself are. Yes, the personal struggle of loving yourself... Sounds very familiar.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of the book.

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a slow-burn, but one where the real charm is the relationships around the romance. Sam’s mom, Glory, is the kind of meddling matchmaker you can't help but adore. She’s loud, proud, and as subtle as a neon sign, especially when it comes to nudging Sam toward Finn, the social justice photographer she’s sure is 'the one.'

Between cringeworthy dates, heartfelt laughs, and Sam figuring out what (and who) he really wants, there’s this cozy sense of community and growth that makes the story feel warm and real. It’s lighthearted, funny, and hits all the right feel-good notes. I'll definitely be looking out for more from this author!

Thanks you to NetGalley for this arc in exchange for an honest review.