We are at a threshold. As we face uncertain futures, the familiar is falling away. This book invites us to embody new ways of being and connecting so we can navigate troubled times together
From the bestselling author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow, a beautifully packaged collection of 14 essays on meeting this moment with clarity, care, and skill
Praise for The Wild Edge of Sorrow: "It blew me away. I underlined things on nearly every page." —Anderson Cooper
In his singular and inimitable voice, psychotherapist and author of The Wild Edge of Sorrow Francis Weller offers 14 soulful essays to help us move together through the anxieties, difficulties, and sacred transitions of 21st-century life.
In the Absence of the Ordinary frames our current era as a rough initiation—an upending experience of profound trauma and transformation that demands we reorient our ways of thinking, being, and relating. Through essays like “Some People Wake Up…,” “The Gift of Restraint,” and “Gratitude for All That Is,” Weller offers clarity and wisdom on how to face the sobering stakes of our time—while offering the nourishment and support we need to embody the new roles this initiation requires.
Section 1, “When the Bough Breaks,” names our collective traumas and peels back the false armor of modernity. We’re called to the depths, to understand the power of descent, and to cultivate the necessary skills of initiation.Section 2, “Care of the Soul,” differentiates between the connected soul and the individualistic self, inviting us back into alignment with the wider world of belonging. We learn to approach our experiences with reverence, work with our grief, and develop restraint, repetition, and self-compassion.Section 3, “Meanwhile, the World Goes On,” gives shape to the emptiness we carry and the ways modernity has severed us from our birthright of interconnectedness with the natural world. It offers rituals of gratitude and practices of kinship to restore our bond with the living Earth. In each essay, Weller fortifies us to become immense—to meet these unpredictable times with presence and faith, to restore our souls’ place in the soul of the world, and to hold steady, amid and for it all.
Book Review: In the Absence of the Ordinary: Soul Work for Times of Uncertainty by Francis Weller
As a sociologist and public health professional, I approached Francis Weller’s In the Absence of the Ordinary with both professional curiosity and personal vulnerability. Weller’s collection of essays—a lyrical blend of psychotherapy, ecology, and soul activism—resonates deeply with contemporary discourses on collective trauma, structural alienation, and the public health crisis of disconnection. This is not merely a book about grief; it is a radical reimagining of how we might metabolize the fractures of modernity.
Emotional and Intellectual Resonance Weller’s framing of our era as a “rough initiation” (a liminal space where old systems crumble) struck me as profoundly sociological. His critique of modernity’s “false armor”—the illusion of individualism, the erosion of communal rituals—mirrors my research on how neoliberal structures exacerbate mental health disparities. The essay The Gift of Restraint moved me to tears with its call to “slow down and listen to the whispers of the world,” a stark counter to public health’s often mechanistic solutions to suffering.
As a woman in academia, I found Weller’s emphasis on embodied wisdom particularly validating. His rejection of detached intellectualism in favor of reverent engagement with grief aligns with feminist critiques of Cartesian dualism. Yet, I also felt a pang of frustration: while Weller beautifully articulates the wounds of late capitalism, his solutions often hover in the realm of the metaphysical. How might these soulful practices translate into policy or community interventions?
Constructive Critique -Structural Blind Spots: Weller’s analysis of collective trauma would benefit from explicit engagement with intersectional frameworks. How do race, class, and gender shape access to the rituals of kinship he prescribes? The essays occasionally risk universalizing grief in ways that may not resonate for marginalized communities navigating systemic violence. -Public Health Bridges: While Weller critiques modernity’s psychic numbing, he misses opportunities to connect with public health literature on social determinants of mental health. A dialogue with scholars like Judith Herman or Bruce Perry could ground his poetic insights in actionable theory. -Praxis Gaps: The book’s strength—its spiritual depth—can also feel exclusionary. For readers steeped in secular or scientific paradigms, more concrete examples of soul work in clinical or community settings would bolster its applicability.
Why This Book Matters In the Absence of the Ordinary is a vital antidote to the despair of our times. Weller’s essays remind us that grief—whether for a dying planet or a fractured society—is not a pathology to be cured but a sacred thread connecting us to what remains alive. For sociologists, it challenges us to center soul in structural analysis; for public health practitioners, it offers a language to reclaim healing as a collective, embodied practice.
Thank you to the publisher and Edelweiss for providing a free review copy. This book will stay with me as both a balm and a provocation—a call to become immense in the face of collapse.
Reviewer’s Note: Pair this with Braiding Sweetgrass (Kimmerer) for ecological kinship, or My Grandmother’s Hands (Menakem) for trauma-informed somatic work. A rare work that marries poetic grace with urgent social critique.
Thought-provoking philosophical and spiritual themed essays. Offers a blueprint to enrich our lives by diverting from the path of rushed, egocentric consumerism that dominates modern life.
More all-encompassing than his previous book and attuned to the conflicts of our times. To slow down and be grateful with affection is the goal. What’s not to like about that?
Francis Weller’s writing feels like being invited into the deepest room of the soul. In In the Absence of the Ordinary he speaks with such honesty about the long dark, about the thresholds we cross when life strips us bare.
His love for Native traditions and for the living world runs through every page, steady and reverent, carrying us back to belonging.
I have long loved his work with grief in The Wild Edge of Sorrow, and this book feels like a companion to that path, widening the circle, showing how grief, beauty, and love are inseparable threads.
The language is luminous and unhurried, more ritual than reflection, reminding us that descent is not exile but initiation.
What struck me most were his reflections on the medicine we find when we go deep. It is in the very heart of the long dark that something essential is restored, our capacity for tenderness, for reverence, for seeing ourselves as part of the living whole.
Weller reminds us that what we most fear to enter often holds the remedy we most need.
I am so grateful for Francis Wellers’ presence in the world. ♥️🙏🏼
Francis Weller has an ability to weave together grief, soul, and community in a way that feels refreshing and profoundly needed for these times. This collection of essays is like a compass for moving through the uncertainty, fractures, and anxieties of modern life while reminding us of our enduring connection to the sacred. I especially appreciated his reflections on descent, self-compassion and gratitude, timeless reminders that healing often begins in the depths. A contemplative, nourishing read for anyone seeking meaning and resilience in an era of upheaval.
I love his writing which provides the reader with a state of calm, incredible insights and points to consider in these unpredictable situations we find ourselves in. I especially like the essay format with reflections at the end of some sections.
Frances Weller’s work is always profound and his words are exactly what we need for these times. A balm for the soul and a guide for our darkest moments.
Fucking good. Got into this book without any expectations. Didn't know what it was going to be like. So much of it deeply resonated with my being and seemed so true to my soul and consciousness.
A missive for the rising tides of grief in America and a reframing of what’s possible when Indigenous rituals and sacraments are treasured instead of mocked.
Weller writes with depth about what he calls the Long Dark - those periods of descent, great change, and profound transformation that the collective and individuals traverse. He shares wisdom to help navigate such journeys of the soul and creates a soft landing for the multitude of emotions such times evoke. This book engaged me mentally and moved me emotionally.
As a professional in the field of childbirth and the rite of passage into parenthood, this book resonated profoundly. While Weller speaks of the period we're in collectively as one of "absence of the ordinary" the loss of what is familiar and ordinary also applies to the period of transformation individuals and couples go through when becoming parents.
I recommend expectant parents and anyone going through transformation read this book.
Do highlights still work when almost everything is selected? This will be a book I return to over and over again and have already recommended to others.
This book came at the perfect time. I read half of it and then found the essays after that a little repetitive. But it certainly helped me through these complicated times